I Have A Darling Nicky

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support

    April 25 2007- Dealing With the "Break-up"

    April 25, 2007   2:00 p.m.   Every other man I’ve dealt with was too easily manipulated. None of them were able to stand up and be strong for me like I needed them to. Even Nicky may not be “strong enough.” But, he is so...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    1 Response Sep 27, 2007

    May 2 2007 - the Day Nicky Came Back...

    April 29, 2007   Oh my GOSH!!! I MISS being in love!!!!   May 2, 2007   When I finished writing that sentence, a knock came at the door. I looked out the window and saw a big, burgundy truck like the one Nicky drives for work sometimes. “No...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    1 Response Sep 27, 2007

    11-29-06: My Response To Thanksgiving's Humliation

    Just me writing this letter to him was something seriously "out-of-pocket" to do.  We come from two different worlds.  He doesn't want to deal with ****; I can't seem to STOP confronting every single thing.  I didn't expect him to read it.  I didn't...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Dec 14, 2006

    the first time i spoke to nicky after he got married...

    On september 21st (about two months after i found out nicky got married) i passed him on the street.  i smiled and waved.  he said something from his truck window that i couldn't hear.  **** it.  i called him...hung up before he answered and didn't even...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Oct 25, 2007

    Oh, the Drama of Life!

    February 26, 2007  Nicky has been the only bright, sunny spot just for me since me and my son started falling out in the summer.  He let me talk about it and let me get away from it by going over his house and being in his company.  He held me.  He laughed...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Mar 26, 2007

    I Am Here

    Hello, folks!  For those of you that are interested, I've been "away" for so long because my internet has been turned off.  I'm using a dial-up connection right now on Nicky's pc and mainly just wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive.  This darn...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Jun 7, 2007

    1-3-07: I May Have Killed My Darling Nicky

    My son had been pretty upset with Nicky because I'd walked home on Thanksgiving night from Nicky's house.  I never talked to the kids about why I wasn't going out of town...I just told them that Nicky was trippin, I didn't want to go anywhere with him and didn't feel like...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Jan 3, 2007

    9-6-06: I'm Walking On Thin Ice & I Know It

    This guy is all the way wrong for me....I mean, technically speaking and according to all the "RULES."  Firstly, he's clearly got a drinking problem.  He rarely goes a day without.  I think he starts sometimes in the morning!  By being involved with...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Dec 14, 2006

    Not Sure What to Make of It...

    April 2, 2007  Nicky has really been surprising me lately.  I mean, I’ve been keeping track of things as good as possible for the passed couple months and I am seeing a pattern developing so, it’s not like I’m expecting him to be 100% consistent with...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    1 Response Apr 3, 2007

    18 Days And....

    Still no Nicky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I got him to answer the phone ONCE, on the 13th.  We talked for a total of 3 minutes.  He said he missed and loved me but that he thought he'd wind up going to prison, dealing with me.  I argued that I wasn't really the...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Jan 18, 2007

    Nicky Got Married!!

    ...and, it wasn't to me!!  life has continued to be one, huge TRIP!!  i just got my internet back on and i've SO missed this site and everyone here!  i'll be back to tell the whole story about nicky and who he married and how i found out and about his aunt coming...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Sep 21, 2007

    Seems Like Progress...

     January 28, 2007  “I enjoy your company,” he said.  “If you do, why don’t you ever indulge in it?”  “I do.  I’m indulging in your company right now.  You just don’t know it,” he replied. ...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Feb 13, 2007

    10-30-06: Why Can't People Ever Like Each Other At The Same Time???

    October 29, 2006   I turn to this writing stuff when there’s nothing else that works…it’s a desperate act, sometimes.  I’m so ******* tired of being rejected and, I don’t understand it one bit.  Yesterday, I called “Nicky...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Dec 14, 2006

    I Am Victorious, Without Even Knowing the Outcome!

    April 24, 2007  Well, if I have to keep having the same experience decade after decade in my life, at least I’m experiencing different parts of that “same experience.”  I definitely feel more evolved than that “15-year-old me.” ...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Apr 24, 2007

    Life Is Full of Contradictions That We Can Learn From

    April 1, 2007  If I had started kickin it with Nicky any sooner than I did, I would have never been able to “hang” with him, I’m sure.  He definitely needs a woman and, in all the other relationships I’ve been in, I’ve been more like a...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Apr 1, 2007

    At Last, Some Mercy

    January 25, 2007  Wow.  I literally feel drunk.  I called Nicky this morning….mornings are my favorite times with him, even though I’ve never been a morning person.  Most mornings, both of us are straight and clear-headed.  He’s...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Jan 25, 2007

    A Letter to His Auntie

    April 23, 2007 Hey, Auntie.  I decided to mail you the letter I wrote to you.  I only read parts of it you today and I thought you might like to read it yourself.  I've also included a few more pictures.  Hope you like them.  I'll talk to you again...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Apr 24, 2007

    Keeping Track of Things.....

      Tuesday, January 30, 2007  I have no weed and knew that going to bed last night was gonna be a big production.  I can’t sleep without weed.  And, I’m so friggin lonely.  Since the weekend, I’ve been feeling completely worn out, beaten...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Feb 13, 2007

    You, Too, Can Experience the Essence of Nicky

    Just listen to this song, by John Mayer:  "I Don't Trust Myself," from his latest cd, Continuum.  The whole groove & vibe...the old-school horns in spots, the blues guitar, and even the lyrics---it could be Nicky singing that song to me.  His essence...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jan 19, 2007

    Am I In Love Or Delusional And, By the Way, What's the Difference?

    March 26, 2007  I love the way he plays my music over and over again…the way he knows the words and sings along…. I love how he says, “Sing to me, baby” and how he wants everyone else to hear me sing….  I love how he tells all those old...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Mar 26, 2007

    His Auntie Came From Out of Town

    maybe a few weeks after he "came back."  WE SPENT SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER, then!!!  I stayed at his house with him for almost a whole week before his aunt got here and then i stayed for a whole two weeks after she got here.  i was "the hostess...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Oct 15, 2007

    Music Is, Once Again, a Catalyst

    Sunday, January 21, 2007  Well, well, well!  After twenty days Nicky has broken his silence.  Since New Year’s, he never answers the phone when I call and I call (at least once) everyday.  I’ve been to his house a couple times; knocked on the...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jan 21, 2007

    April 27 2007 -

    April 27, 2007   I can’t tell if I’m trying to convince myself cuz I’m so desperate to avoid this type of rejection again. Or, if it’s my gutt and I’m just letting my insecurities get in the way. Either way, I’m convinced that...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    1 Response Sep 27, 2007

    It's All a Part of the Passing Parade.....

    March 25, 2007  I’ve had an extremely emotional week.  It’s hard for me to keep track of everything if I don’t write it all down and I haven’t written much.  And, it’s like there’s way too much to write.  I’m...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Mar 27, 2007

    An Explanation About the Drama With Gina

    There’s this long-time friend of mine…she’s actually more like family.  Her name is Gina.  Gina has a drinking and sex problem.  She admits to having been with hundreds and hundreds of men (and women.  And, I must confess, I’ve &ldquo...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Mar 27, 2007

    A Plan Has Been Intuited

    It is a tentative, loose outline type of "plan."  I must have one.  I have to warn you, if you're reading:  I've decided to reveal myself in a most intimate way...even more intimate than normal.  At the risk of making myself look like some obsessive...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Apr 24, 2007

    NOW What the Heck Am I Doing?? Lord, Help Me

    on tuesday a couple weeks ago (10/9) i sent a text to nicky (only the second contact i'd attempted to make with him since i found out he got married.)  it said, "i know i'm not supposed to but i really miss you sometimes.  i hope you are well."  i thought...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Oct 25, 2007

    11-19-06: My Mind Is Sometimes A Prison I Don't Want To Escape

    November 19, 2006   I’m remembering warmth; the familiar comfort of so many moments…and people. Sometimes, it seems every person important in my life; every person whose played a major role, is just one person, really…connected by a constant...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    1 Response Dec 14, 2006

    12-14-06: The Saga Lives On.....

      Thursday, December 14, 2006   Okay….I’m a little stunned…I mean, I know Nicky is a Gemini but……since Thanksgiving, he’s just about done a complete 180 on me!  I don’t even know, really, where to begin. ...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    Dec 14, 2006

    A Glimpse of Exquisite Pain

    Dear Nicky~ 2-13-07 there's no point in stalling - i know myself too well.  i've had such fantasies of you...of you and i complimenting each other's lives in such a way that we may find ourselves capable of accomplishing things we may not have been capable of otherwise...
    MysticWriter MysticWriter
    36-40, F
    1 Response Feb 13, 2007
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