I Have a Funny Story to Share

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 508 People

    Woman Vs Man

     A Women's Poem    Before I lay me down to sleep, > I pray for a man, who's not a creep, > One who's handsome, smart and strong. > One who loves to listen long, > One who thinks before he speaks, > One who'll call, not wait for weeks...
    Grits4life Grits4life
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Sep 15, 2008

    My mom and stepdad went out drinking one night

    and both came home smashed out of their faces My mom has dentures and so she went upstairs and fell asleep in her bed. The next morning she heard a crunching noise. She was like wtf is that? She found our dog on the floor casually chewing on her bottom denture!! She was so...
    Fierrrrce Fierrrrce
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Oct 17, 2014

    A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the

    shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Don’t ever do that again. You scared the...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz
    56-60, M
    Feb 10, 2015

    The Old Woman

    'Twas neither wee hours of the morn nor lunchtime, but in between those... So another business was done at school therefore I was about to go home. I crossed the highway and rode a jeepney. The first thing I saw inside the jeepney, as I sat down, was an old woman with a pantie on...
    deleted deleted
    4 Responses Jun 12, 2011

    The time a made my brother cry

    when I told him that his fiancée sleeps naked with me....... He cried because she is always wearing her underwear with him lol
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses May 24, 2014

    One three of my coworkers went out to lunch one

    day and after they were seated one got up said he had to wash his hands. He caught the waiter and said, "I'm playing a prank on my pal, could you put a spoon in your pocket and not bring one with his dessert?". The waiter agreed and later in the mealwhen he started saying...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Dec 12, 2015

    stayed with friends last night only to discover

    this morning that I had only packed swimming trunks but no under ware. so I had the choice of sitting in church in my slacks commando or with the suit underneath them. i hope God understands.
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz
    56-60, M
    2 Responses Mar 29, 2015

    Lol!!! Some people up in here,

    ask some wayyyyy jacked up questions!! Quite amusing actually...It makes me wanna ask them something like, "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" What are some jacked up questions you all have been asked in here? Please enlighten me.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Dec 26, 2015

    I work in property management.

    In my building we have 8 floors about a dozen or so offices 200 to 250 tenants all together. I get to work one morning and security hands me a cell phone someone found. Now this next part I swear I did with purely altruistic intentions. I didn't do it to be nosey or to snoop but...
    Bostero12 Bostero12
    36-40, M
    Nov 4, 2015

    I dunno if it was funny

    or a rather awkward situation but anyway we ended up laughing our *** off at 3 in the morning. So, I spend my holy week in my girlfriend place. I was having water rafting activity, and she has to go to her daily training. The fist couple of night was good. We have her place all...
    sam071193 sam071193
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 26, 2016

    Funny I Guess

    It was my 2nd grade and I heard girls are talkin bout "menstruation" they said you'll know if you have it when your stomach ache so bad and you feel the your blood oozing! I got curious so I sat down at the back and keep listening :D that's my biggest mistake eh! Well i thought...
    johnL3 johnL3
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Jun 27, 2013

    this story is about a man

    who got blessing of child baby after 21 years when the baby was born people asked why are you sad he replied after 21 years still god gave me so little baby
    deleted deleted
    Jan 2, 2015

    Had a bit of a mix-up at work.

    Got a call from the vendor quoting A part. "I know you guys are pushing the limit but we've really got to no-quote this job. The biggest dimension on the part is 0.8 millimeters and the thickness was .008 millimeters", he gasped! "How on earth does he expect us to hold those...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz
    56-60, M
    1 Response Jun 29, 2015

    Ah, the Joys of the Early Years of ************!

    My mom's best friend has been with the same man for about twelve years.  About a year ago his daughter had to come live with them because her mother went to jail.  She is a very troubled young girl, always causing problems and stuff. Well, the other day my mom's...
    urbrandofheroin urbrandofheroin
    22-25, F
    16 Responses May 17, 2009

    A Day Off Work

     I love this story.  A Day Off Work So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for:  There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available...
    c8lorraine c8lorraine
    13 Responses Jun 6, 2009

    I Met My Third Boyfriend By....

    I hate scary movies. I am the biggest suck on the planet. I jump, I scream, I hide, I whine, moan and in general annoy the hell out of everyone else watching the movie. This is now a well known fact and the kids got me a dvd/t.v. for my room, rent two movies, make two bowls of...
    btrflysfound btrflysfound
    4 Responses Sep 11, 2008

    True Story About a Lawyer

    BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY.    Charlotte, North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and  expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.    Within a month, having smoked his...
    KinkyFlower KinkyFlower
    31-35, F
    6 Responses Jun 6, 2008

    Me And Kitchen-Sama Go Waaaaaaaaaay Back.

    Oh kitchen-san and me go waaaaaaaay back. This tragic story begins like so: It was a wonderfull evening when little Mils aproached a most treacherous and gloomy space in the middle of her house. ''What a wonderful adventure!'' She naively thought. Guileless, pure... Unbeknownst...
    sayonaranow sayonaranow
    18-21, F
    May 16, 2013
    deleted deleted
    Apr 24, 2015

    Are you kidding me. I just heard the head board

    slamming against the wall next door to me. And then the woman started to moan louder and louder. -.- not to come off prude but wow and my neighbors are elderly who knows maybe it's her daughter. Quite amused!
    blahblahblahxoxo blahblahblahxoxo
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Sep 27, 2015

    Slippy Backback, Baby.

    A woman I know, has a  friend with a mentally handicap son. The friend of hers decided to take the boy to the zoo. After they arrive all is going well until the boy suddenly disappears. For a few frantic hours they search for him. When he is found he and his backpack...
    ladyjadey ladyjadey
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Jan 6, 2009

    Apparently my drunk aunt apparently

    accidentally turned her pool pink, how the **** that happened i don't know but leave it up to her to do something like that. So i walked up to her waited till everyone was done talking and said "So want to try to turn it purple next?" i couldn't help it just scared the crap...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response May 22, 2015

    Funny story. a pigeon flew in the open door of

    my place and my athletic kitty immediately mauled it and feathers went everywhere. I screamed at him, he dropped the pigeon and it feebly flew out the window. The end.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Apr 23, 2015

    The T-shirt Doesn't Lie

    A few years ago, I was heading into a restaurant and there were three young women in front of me.  One was in the middle of (what I guess to her was) a very interesting and very important story.  She grabs the handle of the front door and stops to emphasize what she was...
    HeWhoPleasures HeWhoPleasures
    41-45, M
    6 Responses Mar 12, 2008

    While walking to class this morning,

    I saw some fat girl slip and fall on ice lmao
    alyssia623 alyssia623
    22-25, F
    Feb 20, 2015

    The Mouse That Roared

    I was on my way to greet a friend at the airport. As usual for me, in a bit of a rush. As I approached the airport I could see the landing lights on an aircraft a few miles to the south. At least I wasn't late. Going through the boom gate I collected my ticket. Quickly read...
    WiseOldOwl WiseOldOwl
    56-60, M
    19 Responses Aug 21, 2009

    So I went to the bathroom

    and found this. I now that it should be some ******* in the bathroom but I never thought that it would be one inside of a toilet.
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Mar 24, 2015

    Look Out Behind You!

    This picture is worth a thousand words... this poor anchorman bears an unfortunate resemblance to the story he's reporting on!  
    videodemon videodemon
    26-30, M
    8 Responses Nov 13, 2007

    Monday Funny Against Negative People

    This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.   A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair...
    vtom vtom
    46-50, M
    7 Responses Jun 8, 2009

    My mum and dad were at the store checking out

    at a self checkout. He told her she could just throw all the coins in there and it would count them for her, so she gets out one of those paper rolls of coins and throws the whole thing in there without unwrapping it. She broke it and it was hilarious. The next time we went in...
    Dayman0x Dayman0x
    22-25, F
    Sep 18, 2014

    Frogs In a Car

    This isn't so much a funny-haha as it is funny-weird, but here you go.   So, I'm driving down the road today, and see something in my peripheral vision. I look over, and see this: I begin to flip out in earnest. There is a hopping, climbing tree frog in my vehicle! While I...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow
    31-35, F
    25 Responses Sep 11, 2008

    It's fun having kids in the house.

    We were out of toothpaste and one of them was complaining about the taste of the toothpaste. I took a look at it and one of them had dug up an old tube of toothpaste from the closet called Petrodex. I'd couldn't remember having ever bought it. On closer inspection it said, "Malt...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz
    56-60, M
    Dec 27, 2014

    So one time about 15 years ago,

    when I was not so much of a law abiding citizen my buddies girl said shed let him do anal so long as he got some ky, well us being broke young punks he and another buddy of puts, went in to a local grocery store so he could yank some ky(pun def intended), so then for no apparent...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Oct 17, 2015

    Funny Interpretation Of English Language

    I remember a few years ago I was doing a bus trip of the West Coast of USA. O this trip where some british guys and we all where getting on very well. One day the weather was getting warmer as we headed to Vegas so I needed to buy a new pair of thongs. I mention to the boys I am...
    deleted deleted
    6 Responses Oct 28, 2012

    I live alone. I am also an engineer at a large

    firm. A few weeks ago I got to work and discovered that I had forgotten my belt! Too far to go home I reached into the pocket of my car door and grabbed the spare short dog leash and cinched it to size around my waist and figured I was good to go. A week later, as I was...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz
    56-60, M
    2 Responses Sep 27, 2014

    It Is All In a Name

    FAVORITE NAME   A woman arrived at a party and while scanning the guests spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, Hello. My name is Carmen.'   'That's a beautiful name' he replied. 'Is it a family name?'   'No' she...
    vtom vtom
    46-50, M
    7 Responses Jun 9, 2009

    Cher and Cher Alike

    When I was about 10, my mom bought me a Cher barbie doll. How I loved that doll! She wore a long, red dress and had hair all the way to her knees. One evening, my sister and I were a little bored and decided we thought it would be fun to cut Cher's hair. I always...
    ThoughtFox ThoughtFox
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Apr 30, 2008

    In second grade, me and my friend went to the

    bathroom and the stall door was locked. I looked under and didnt see any feet so smart 7 year old me decided to start kicking in the door and the door flew open and there was a kid sitting on the toilet.
    deleted deleted
    Aug 7, 2015

    Ever have one of those times

    when you wife wants to borrow your more fuel efficient car while hers is in the shop leaving you with the Saturn? Now the L200 is a great car. Its' a 2002 model but it looks like new but it was the kids car. All three of them. It goes through two quarts of oil a week. It...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz
    56-60, M
    Jun 21, 2015

    A Must Read If You'Re In A Relationship...

    There was a group of women at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked : 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked : 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him...
    Evemmoss Evemmoss
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Apr 26, 2013

    Our professor brought samples of minerals

    during our geology class. When he brought out a hexagonal prismatic quartz, placed it under a bright light showing off it's lustre, everyone was so amazed at it. Then when he brought out a "sweat quartz" one guy reacted loudly that he seemed so disappointed it isn't that 'pretty...
    GummiBr GummiBr
    18-21, F
    Feb 26, 2016

    My best friend and I were going to a club,

    so we prepartied at her place. We had brought the stereo outside *before* we got schwasted and now had to get it back in. So we each lifted up one end of the glass table, beer bottles rolling off, and us just trying to do this and laughing so hard, and of course it was still...
    adianoeta adianoeta
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Sep 18, 2014

    I wouldn't say it's that funny,

    but it's definitely interesting ahah So my chemistry teacher recently "got asked to leave," he was a really fun and nice person just a not so good teacher, especially when you're in year 11 and he keeps using way too many sandwich and food analogies and just saying something and...
    afellowearthling afellowearthling
    18-21, F
    Oct 26, 2014

    I was going for a job interview in 2005

    and was so nervous and couldn't eat anything that day. Twenty minutes before my job interview my stomach started the make noises so I went to the building snack shop and bought an Oreo Cookies which is the fastest one within my reach ! I ate so fast and went for my job...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jun 9, 2015

    So this past week has been pretty sh***y,

    but I just got something in the mail that is making my day better: my first Jury Duty assignment from the Vermont Superior Court! Now I realize that the responsibility of Jury Duty is usually a pain for most normal people, but words cannot express how f***ing jazzed I am to sit...
    torreywritesstuff torreywritesstuff
    22-25, M
    Jun 2, 2015

    I am a jokester who loves spooking people.

    I also make horror films and have stage blood. There is an abanndoned water tower from from 1955 near where I work. I couldn't help but notice thiese rich kids driving up there in a Corvett(it's a dirt road turn off from the main road). They would make a lot of noise, draw...
    MoonlightThunder MoonlightThunder
    22-25, M
    Apr 25, 2015


    I should preface this story by stating that while I do love my brother very much, he is extremely confident (some might say he's outright "cocky"), and he carries himself with an air of accomplishment that most people hedge with at least a degree of modesty. As...
    siren1971 siren1971
    36-40, F
    27 Responses Oct 31, 2007

    This actually happened with me today.

    The phone rings: "I am from Cray Audiology and I am ringing to offer you a free hearing test." "I'm sorry I can't hear you. I will put you on speaker phone." "Whoops," I pushed the hang up button in error. Giggles.
    Rusham Rusham
    70+, M
    3 Responses Nov 11, 2015

    So I was alone in this room.

    Right when I thought of doing something "productive" haha I brought food out of my bag. But then a guy sat across the table I was sitting at. He put things on it and started writing and highlighting stuff. He really seemed busy. I kinda stared at him (not obviously of course...
    GummiBr GummiBr
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Feb 16, 2016
    Roz2014 Roz2014
    46-50, F
    Aug 25, 2015

    Only A Man Would Attempt This !!!

    This is not my story but I laughed till I cried. Last weekend I saw somthing at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little somthing extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100.000 volt...
    Robert1256 Robert1256
    51-55, M
    38 Responses Jun 12, 2010

    A lady of high society went out

    for lunch on day and when the waiter arrived he said that the special for the day was a tongue sandwich. To which the lady replied, "Oh dear! I could never have something that came out of an animals' mouth. I'll have an egg please."
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz
    56-60, M
    Jan 11, 2016

    The Prize

    A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    3 Responses Nov 4, 2013
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