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I Have a Funny Story to Share

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 539 People

    This actually happened with me today.

    The phone rings: "I am from Cray Audiology and I am ringing to offer you a free hearing test." "I'm sorry I can't hear you. I will put you on speaker phone." "Whoops," I pushed the hang up button in error. Giggles.
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 3 Responses Nov 11, 2015

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    stayed with friends last night only to discover

    this morning that I had only packed swimming trunks but no under ware. so I had the choice of sitting in church in my slacks commando or with the suit underneath them. i hope God understands.
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz 51-55, M 2 Responses Mar 29, 2015

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    A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the

    shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Don’t ever do that again. You scared the...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz 51-55, M Feb 10, 2015

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    Are you kidding me. I just heard the head board

    slamming against the wall next door to me. And then the woman started to moan louder and louder. -.- not to come off prude but wow and my neighbors are elderly who knows maybe it's her daughter. Quite amused!
    blahblahblahxoxo blahblahblahxoxo 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 27, 2015

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    I work in property management.

    In my building we have 8 floors about a dozen or so offices 200 to 250 tenants all together. I get to work one morning and security hands me a cell phone someone found. Now this next part I swear I did with purely altruistic intentions. I didn't do it to be nosey or to snoop but...
    Bostero12 Bostero12 31-35, M Nov 4, 2015

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    I laughed when my Dad told me

    that he named his dog after a famous dictator, a wanted man, a man who bore great shame... Far and behold, my Dad's dog was a bull mastiff he'd named Idi Amin...
    ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 1, 2015

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    So I went to the bathroom

    and found this. I now that it should be some ******* in the bathroom but I never thought that it would be one inside of a toilet.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 24, 2015

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    Roz2014 Roz2014 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 25, 2015

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    While walking to class this morning,

    I saw some fat girl slip and fall on ice lmao
    alyssia623 alyssia623 18-21, F Feb 20, 2015

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    Monday Funny Against Negative People

    This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.   A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair...
    vtom vtom 46-50, M 8 Responses Jun 8, 2009

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    Me And Kitchen-Sama Go Waaaaaaaaaay Back.

    Oh kitchen-san and me go waaaaaaaay back. This tragic story begins like so: It was a wonderfull evening when little Mils aproached a most treacherous and gloomy space in the middle of her house. ''What a wonderful adventure!'' She naively thought. Guileless, pure... Unbeknownst...
    sayonaranow sayonaranow 18-21, F May 16, 2013

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    The Old Woman

    'Twas neither wee hours of the morn nor lunchtime, but in between those... So another business was done at school therefore I was about to go home. I crossed the highway and rode a jeepney. The first thing I saw inside the jeepney, as I sat down, was an old woman with a pantie on...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 12, 2011

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    I live alone. I am also an engineer at a large

    firm. A few weeks ago I got to work and discovered that I had forgotten my belt! Too far to go home I reached into the pocket of my car door and grabbed the spare short dog leash and cinched it to size around my waist and figured I was good to go. A week later, as I was...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz 51-55, M 2 Responses Sep 27, 2014

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    In second grade, me and my friend went to the

    bathroom and the stall door was locked. I looked under and didnt see any feet so smart 7 year old me decided to start kicking in the door and the door flew open and there was a kid sitting on the toilet.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 7, 2015

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    It was during a football game held at my Middle

    School. At the time I was in the school's band and we were scheduled to be out on the field playing the school's anthem during half time. However on this particular night, the temperature dropped and I wasn't wearing any gloves. So during the show my fingers got so numb that I...
    Cutiepeachpie Cutiepeachpie 22-25, F Feb 23, 2015

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    True Story About a Lawyer

    BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY.    Charlotte, North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and  expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.    Within a month, having smoked his...
    KinkyFlower KinkyFlower 31-35, F 7 Responses Jun 6, 2008

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    Only A Man Would Attempt This !!!

    This is not my story but I laughed till I cried. Last weekend I saw somthing at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little somthing extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100.000 volt...
    Robert1256 Robert1256 51-55, M 39 Responses Jun 12, 2010

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    Had a bit of a mix-up at work.

    Got a call from the vendor quoting A part. "I know you guys are pushing the limit but we've really got to no-quote this job. The biggest dimension on the part is 0.8 millimeters and the thickness was .008 millimeters", he gasped! "How on earth does he expect us to hold those...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz 51-55, M 1 Response Jun 29, 2015

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    Frogs In a Car

    This isn't so much a funny-haha as it is funny-weird, but here you go.   So, I'm driving down the road today, and see something in my peripheral vision. I look over, and see this: I begin to flip out in earnest. There is a hopping, climbing tree frog in my vehicle! While I...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 26 Responses Sep 11, 2008

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    My best friend and I were going to a club,

    so we prepartied at her place. We had brought the stereo outside *before* we got schwasted and now had to get it back in. So we each lifted up one end of the glass table, beer bottles rolling off, and us just trying to do this and laughing so hard, and of course it was still...
    adianoeta adianoeta 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 18, 2014

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    Batman

    I should preface this story by stating that while I do love my brother very much, he is extremely confident (some might say he's outright "cocky"), and he carries himself with an air of accomplishment that most people hedge with at least a degree of modesty. As...
    siren1971 siren1971 36-40, F 27 Responses Oct 31, 2007

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    A Must Read If You'Re In A Relationship...

    There was a group of women at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked : 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked : 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him...
    Evemmoss Evemmoss 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 26, 2013

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    A lady of high society went out

    for lunch on day and when the waiter arrived he said that the special for the day was a tongue sandwich. To which the lady replied, "Oh dear! I could never have something that came out of an animals' mouth. I'll have an egg please."
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz 51-55, M 1 Response Jan 11

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    My aunt and I both work with special needs

    children. Last summer we were on vacation in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and we were talking about some of our students we had the previous year. Her fifteen year old son (my cousin) joins in on the conversation. Aunt: You know some of my autistic kids would play with...
    awaywego4 awaywego4 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 17, 2015

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    Lol!!! Some people up in here,

    ask some wayyyyy jacked up questions!! Quite amusing actually...It makes me wanna ask them something like, "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" What are some jacked up questions you all have been asked in here? Please enlighten me.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 26, 2015

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    A few years ago I decided to shop online

    for shoes, I had a thing for laced up boots, but no stores in my area sold them. I had come across a web site that sold laced boots for about 48 bucks. It was a good deal and so I ordered them not realizing these shoes were being made in China. I think Beijing. So for the next...
    Cutiepeachpie Cutiepeachpie 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 13, 2015

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    A few years ago while on a road trip my sister

    and I were at a rest stop in Maryland. It was really crowded with people stopping to use the bathroom. We were waiting for our parents to finish up and we saw a family with a young couple and three young children all under the age of five. We couldn't help but stare because they...
    awaywego4 awaywego4 26-30, F Apr 21, 2015

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    Funny story. a pigeon flew in the open door of

    my place and my athletic kitty immediately mauled it and feathers went everywhere. I screamed at him, he dropped the pigeon and it feebly flew out the window. The end.
    Katzenliebhaber Katzenliebhaber 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 23, 2015

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    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 24, 2015

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    I was going for a job interview in 2005

    and was so nervous and couldn't eat anything that day. Twenty minutes before my job interview my stomach started the make noises so I went to the building snack shop and bought an Oreo Cookies which is the fastest one within my reach ! I ate so fast and went for my job...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 9, 2015

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    The time a made my brother cry

    when I told him that his fiancée sleeps naked with me....... He cried because she is always wearing her underwear with him lol
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses May 24, 2014

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    So this past week has been pretty sh***y,

    but I just got something in the mail that is making my day better: my first Jury Duty assignment from the Vermont Superior Court! Now I realize that the responsibility of Jury Duty is usually a pain for most normal people, but words cannot express how f***ing jazzed I am to sit...
    torreywritesstuff torreywritesstuff 22-25, M Jun 2, 2015

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    A Day Off Work

     I love this story.  A Day Off Work So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for:  There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available...
    c8lorraine c8lorraine 56-60 13 Responses Jun 6, 2009

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    Apparently my drunk aunt apparently

    accidentally turned her pool pink, how the **** that happened i don't know but leave it up to her to do something like that. So i walked up to her waited till everyone was done talking and said "So want to try to turn it purple next?" i couldn't help it just scared the crap...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 22, 2015

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    Cher and Cher Alike

    When I was about 10, my mom bought me a Cher barbie doll. How I loved that doll! She wore a long, red dress and had hair all the way to her knees. One evening, my sister and I were a little bored and decided we thought it would be fun to cut Cher's hair. I always...
    ThoughtFox ThoughtFox 36-40, F 3 Responses Apr 30, 2008

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    So one time about 15 years ago,

    when I was not so much of a law abiding citizen my buddies girl said shed let him do anal so long as he got some ky, well us being broke young punks he and another buddy of puts, went in to a local grocery store so he could yank some ky(pun def intended), so then for no apparent...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 17, 2015

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    Fun In Public Places...

    Someone on EP asked a question about the use of "funny retorts". I'm well known for mine, among my friends and family, especially in public places when dealing with annoying employees.Examples: I've told rude cashiers, "If you're having a bad day I'm happy to go to another...
    musicbook musicbook 61-65, M 3 Responses May 13, 2013

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    Look Out Behind You!

    This picture is worth a thousand words... this poor anchorman bears an unfortunate resemblance to the story he's reporting on!  
    videodemon videodemon 26-30, M 9 Responses Nov 13, 2007

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    Slippy Backback, Baby.

    A woman I know, has a  friend with a mentally handicap son. The friend of hers decided to take the boy to the zoo. After they arrive all is going well until the boy suddenly disappears. For a few frantic hours they search for him. When he is found he and his backpack...
    ladyjadey ladyjadey 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 6, 2009

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    I thought of this story today,

    even though this happened over 4 years ago,it still made me laugh!One day i was sitting in my car,my window was down ,and i was about to go into work,i was in the parking lot.So ,3 guys park next to me,they were maybe 18 or so.They were starring and talking to each other.So one...
    1prettygirl 1prettygirl 36-40, F 13 Responses Jul 29, 2014

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    It Is All In a Name

    FAVORITE NAME   A woman arrived at a party and while scanning the guests spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, Hello. My name is Carmen.'   'That's a beautiful name' he replied. 'Is it a family name?'   'No' she...
    vtom vtom 46-50, M 7 Responses Jun 9, 2009

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    Funny I Guess

    It was my 2nd grade and I heard girls are talkin bout "menstruation" they said you'll know if you have it when your stomach ache so bad and you feel the your blood oozing! I got curious so I sat down at the back and keep listening :D that's my biggest mistake eh! Well i thought...
    johnL3 johnL3 18-21, M 2 Responses Jun 27, 2013

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    I am a jokester who loves spooking people.

    I also make horror films and have stage blood. There is an abanndoned water tower from from 1955 near where I work. I couldn't help but notice thiese rich kids driving up there in a Corvett(it's a dirt road turn off from the main road). They would make a lot of noise, draw...
    MoonlightThunder MoonlightThunder 22-25, M Apr 25, 2015

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    Woman Vs Man

     A Women's Poem    Before I lay me down to sleep, > I pray for a man, who's not a creep, > One who's handsome, smart and strong. > One who loves to listen long, > One who thinks before he speaks, > One who'll call, not wait for weeks...
    Grits4life Grits4life 46-50, F 6 Responses Sep 15, 2008

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    My mom mistook my laptop

    as my tablet once and was upset that it wasn't working. While she had her finger on the screen trying to move a page and asking me what's wrong with my laptop, I was laughing so hard. I finally told her that it was not a tablet. 😄
    Cutiepeachpie Cutiepeachpie 22-25, F Jan 6, 2015

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