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I Have a Funny Story to Share

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 498 People

    I wouldn't say it's that funny,

    but it's definitely interesting ahah So my chemistry teacher recently "got asked to leave," he was a really fun and nice person just a not so good teacher, especially when you're in year 11 and he keeps using way too many sandwich and food analogies and just saying something and...
    Angelyn2097 Angelyn2097 18-21, F Oct 26, 2014

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    stayed with friends last night only to discover

    this morning that I had only packed swimming trunks but no under ware. so I had the choice of sitting in church in my slacks commando or with the suit underneath them. i hope God understands.
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz 46-50 2 Responses Mar 29

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    The Old Woman

    'Twas neither wee hours of the morn nor lunchtime, but in between those... So another business was done at school therefore I was about to go home. I crossed the highway and rode a jeepney. The first thing I saw inside the jeepney, as I sat down, was an old woman with a pantie on...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 12, 2011

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    Batman

    I should preface this story by stating that while I do love my brother very much, he is extremely confident (some might say he's outright "cocky"), and he carries himself with an air of accomplishment that most people hedge with at least a degree of modesty. As...
    siren1971 siren1971 36-40, F 27 Responses Oct 31, 2007

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    It's fun having kids in the house.

    We were out of toothpaste and one of them was complaining about the taste of the toothpaste. I took a look at it and one of them had dug up an old tube of toothpaste from the closet called Petrodex. I'd couldn't remember having ever bought it. On closer inspection it said, "Malt...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz 46-50 Dec 27, 2014

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    My aunt and I both work with special needs

    children. Last summer we were on vacation and we were talking about some of our students we had the previous year. Her fifteen year old son (my cousin) joins in on the conversation. Aunt: You know some of my autistic kids would play with themselves during school, they don't...
    awaywego4 awaywego4 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 17

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    Frogs In a Car

    This isn't so much a funny-haha as it is funny-weird, but here you go.   So, I'm driving down the road today, and see something in my peripheral vision. I look over, and see this: I begin to flip out in earnest. There is a hopping, climbing tree frog in my vehicle! While I...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 26 Responses Sep 11, 2008

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    A Must Read If You'Re In A Relationship...

    There was a group of women at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked : 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked : 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him...
    Evemmoss Evemmoss 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 26, 2013

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    Apparently my drunk aunt apparently

    accidentally turned her pool pink, how the **** that happened i don't know but leave it up to her to do something like that. So i walked up to her waited till everyone was done talking and said "So want to try to turn it purple next?" i couldn't help it just scared the crap...
    Autumnflowers Autumnflowers 18-21 1 Response May 22

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    Me And Kitchen-Sama Go Waaaaaaaaaay Back.

    Oh kitchen-san and me go waaaaaaaay back. This tragic story begins like so: It was a wonderfull evening when little Mils aproached a most treacherous and gloomy space in the middle of her house. ''What a wonderful adventure!'' She naively thought. Guileless, pure... Unbeknownst...
    sayonaranow sayonaranow 18-21, F May 16, 2013

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    The Mouse That Roared

    I was on my way to greet a friend at the airport. As usual for me, in a bit of a rush. As I approached the airport I could see the landing lights on an aircraft a few miles to the south. At least I wasn't late. Going through the boom gate I collected my ticket. Quickly read...
    WiseOldOwl WiseOldOwl 56-60, M 19 Responses Aug 21, 2009

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    It was during a football game held at my Middle

    School. At the time I was in the school's band and we were scheduled to be out on the field playing the school's anthem during half time. However on this particular night, the temperature dropped and I wasn't wearing any gloves. So during the show my fingers got so numb that I...
    Cutiepeachpie Cutiepeachpie 22-25, F Feb 23

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    It happened at a hotel during summer vacation

    in 2006. Me, Lindsey ( not her real name) who was a friend of mine, her sister, and two cousins went into the hotel's exercising room. We weren't allowed to be in there by the way. But while in there, Lindsey went on one of the treadmills, she was curious as to what it would do...
    Cutiepeachpie Cutiepeachpie 22-25, F Oct 9, 2014

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    Slippy Backback, Baby.

    A woman I know, has a  friend with a mentally handicap son. The friend of hers decided to take the boy to the zoo. After they arrive all is going well until the boy suddenly disappears. For a few frantic hours they search for him. When he is found he and his backpack...
    ladyjadey ladyjadey 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 6, 2009

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    I was writing someone a message

    that included the sentence "Drunk duders are nutty!". I sent it and then realized my auto-correct had changed it to "Drunk udders are nutty!" LolπŸ„πŸ˜πŸ„πŸ˜πŸ„πŸ˜πŸ„πŸ˜πŸ„πŸ˜
    Aimee17 Aimee17 41-45, F 3 Responses May 17, 2014

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    A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the

    shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Don’t ever do that again. You scared the...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz 46-50 Feb 10

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    An Embarrassing Date Indeed...

    The other day...I got to reminiscing about some of the different guys I've dated throughout my life...and I got very tickled by a date that I remembered having...that wasn't very funny when it first happened...but is really quite funny now. This particular story takes place...
    KassieKat KassieKat 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    Only A Man Would Attempt This !!!

    This is not my story but I laughed till I cried. Last weekend I saw somthing at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little somthing extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100.000 volt...
    Robert1256 Robert1256 51-55, M 39 Responses Jun 12, 2010

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    Had a bit of a mix-up at work.

    Got a call from the vendor quoting A part. "I know you guys are pushing the limit but we've really got to no-quote this job. The biggest dimension on the part is 0.8 millimeters and the thickness was .008 millimeters", he gasped! "How on earth does he expect us to hold those...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz 46-50 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Funny Interpretation Of English Language

    I remember a few years ago I was doing a bus trip of the West Coast of USA. O this trip where some british guys and we all where getting on very well. One day the weather was getting warmer as we headed to Vegas so I needed to buy a new pair of thongs. I mention to the boys I am...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Oct 28, 2012

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    So I went to the bathroom

    and found this. I now that it should be some ******* in the bathroom but I never thought that it would be one inside of a toilet.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 24

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    My best friend and I were going to a club,

    so we prepartied at her place. We had brought the stereo outside *before* we got schwasted and now had to get it back in. So we each lifted up one end of the glass table, beer bottles rolling off, and us just trying to do this and laughing so hard, and of course it was still...
    adianoeta adianoeta 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 18, 2014

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    Funny I Guess

    It was my 2nd grade and I heard girls are talkin bout "menstruation" they said you'll know if you have it when your stomach ache so bad and you feel the your blood oozing! I got curious so I sat down at the back and keep listening :D that's my biggest mistake eh! Well i thought...
    johnL3 johnL3 18-21, M 2 Responses Jun 27, 2013

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    Ah, the Joys of the Early Years of ************!

    My mom's best friend has been with the same man for about twelve years.  About a year ago his daughter had to come live with them because her mother went to jail.  She is a very troubled young girl, always causing problems and stuff. Well, the other day my mom's...
    urbrandofheroin urbrandofheroin 22-25, F 16 Responses May 17, 2009

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    I live alone. I am also an engineer at a large

    firm. A few weeks ago I got to work and discovered that I had forgotten my belt! Too far to go home I reached into the pocket of my car door and grabbed the spare short dog leash and cinched it to size around my waist and figured I was good to go. A week later, as I was...
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz 46-50 2 Responses Sep 27, 2014

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    Mission My brother has a weird sense of humor

    (like me). In high school, the school head gathered all the students in the auditorium. The atmosphere was serious, as always. After a few introductory phrases, the school head said, in a booming voice, "We have a mission!" From the back of the audience, someone asks, "Who...
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 Apr 24, 2014

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    this story is about a man

    who got blessing of child baby after 21 years when the baby was born people asked why are you sad he replied after 21 years still god gave me so little baby
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 2

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    Went for dinner with my parents

    and cousin. My mum ordered chicken and she's really fussy about things being burnt. When the chicken came she wasn't happy with it and said to the waiter in an exasperated asian woman voice, 'it's dark! Look it's dark!' And the waiter gave her a funny look and said 'no, it's...
    Helloreiko Helloreiko 18-21 Sep 18, 2014

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    Funny story. a pigeon flew in the open door of

    my place and my athletic kitty immediately mauled it and feathers went everywhere. I screamed at him, he dropped the pigeon and it feebly flew out the window. The end.
    Katzenliebhaber Katzenliebhaber 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 23

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    A Day Off Work

     I love this story.  A Day Off Work So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for:  There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available...
    c8lorraine c8lorraine 56-60 13 Responses Jun 6, 2009

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    I am a jokester who loves spooking people.

    I also make horror films and have stage blood. There is an abanndoned water tower from from 1955 near where I work. I couldn't help but notice thiese rich kids driving up there in a Corvett(it's a dirt road turn off from the main road). They would make a lot of noise, draw...
    MoonlightThunder MoonlightThunder 18-21, M Apr 25

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    Monday Funny Against Negative People

    This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.   A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair...
    vtom vtom 46-50, M 8 Responses Jun 8, 2009

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    Computer Viruses OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 1.

    3 GB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80mb and then slowly expands back to 1.3 GB. AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 26, 2014

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    I thought of this story today,

    even though this happened over 4 years ago,it still made me laugh!One day i was sitting in my car,my window was down ,and i was about to go into work,i was in the parking lot.So ,3 guys park next to me,they were maybe 18 or so.They were starring and talking to each other.So one...
    1prettygirl 1prettygirl 36-40, F 14 Responses Jul 29, 2014

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    Woman Vs Man

     A Women's Poem    Before I lay me down to sleep, > I pray for a man, who's not a creep, > One who's handsome, smart and strong. > One who loves to listen long, > One who thinks before he speaks, > One who'll call, not wait for weeks...
    Grits4life Grits4life 46-50, F 6 Responses Sep 15, 2008

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    The time a made my brother cry

    when I told him that his fiancΓ©e sleeps naked with me....... He cried because she is always wearing her underwear with him lol
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses May 24, 2014

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    A few years ago while on a road trip my sister

    and I were at a rest stop in Maryland. It was really crowded with people stopping to use the bathroom. We were waiting for our parents to finish up and we saw a family with a young couple and three young children all under the age of five. We couldn't help but stare because they...
    awaywego4 awaywego4 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 21

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    I Met My Third Boyfriend By....

    I hate scary movies. I am the biggest suck on the planet. I jump, I scream, I hide, I whine, moan and in general annoy the hell out of everyone else watching the movie. This is now a well known fact and the kids got me a dvd/t.v. for my room, rent two movies, make two bowls of...
    btrflysfound btrflysfound 41-45 4 Responses Sep 11, 2008

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    Fun In Public Places...

    Someone on EP asked a question about the use of "funny retorts". I'm well known for mine, among my friends and family, especially in public places when dealing with annoying employees.Examples: I've told rude cashiers, "If you're having a bad day I'm happy to go to another...
    musicbook musicbook 56-60, M 3 Responses May 13, 2013

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    My mum and dad were at the store checking out

    at a self checkout. He told her she could just throw all the coins in there and it would count them for her, so she gets out one of those paper rolls of coins and throws the whole thing in there without unwrapping it. She broke it and it was hilarious. The next time we went in...
    Dayman0x Dayman0x 22-25, F Sep 18, 2014

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    True Story About a Lawyer

    BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY.    Charlotte, North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and  expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.    Within a month, having smoked his...
    KinkyFlower KinkyFlower 31-35, F 7 Responses Jun 6, 2008

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    So this past week has been pretty sh***y,

    but I just got something in the mail that is making my day better: my first Jury Duty assignment from the Vermont Superior Court! Now I realize that the responsibility of Jury Duty is usually a pain for most normal people, but words cannot express how f***ing jazzed I am to sit...
    torreywritesstuff torreywritesstuff 22-25, M Jun 2

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    My mom and stepdad went out drinking one night

    and both came home smashed out of their faces My mom has dentures and so she went upstairs and fell asleep in her bed. The next morning she heard a crunching noise. She was like wtf is that? She found our dog on the floor casually chewing on her bottom denture!! She was so...
    Fierrrrce Fierrrrce 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    The Prize

    A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    Look Out Behind You!

    This picture is worth a thousand words... this poor anchorman bears an unfortunate resemblance to the story he's reporting on!  
    videodemon videodemon 26-30, M 9 Responses Nov 13, 2007

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    ForTheFallen ForTheFallen 22-25, M Apr 24

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