I Have a Funny Story

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 170 People

    People in my story me

    and my friends E N M Me: haha the projector pen thing is funny E: ha I got it online it projects jake from adventure time N(sits down with us while E is shining her own at M's face) N: shriek Me: omg nick wtf N: I think I'm hallucinating I keep seeing jake from adventure...
    sadnesskillsme sadnesskillsme
    16-17, F
    1 Response Feb 13, 2015

    Another Funny Army Story

    I was a Military Policeman....Yes I still say policeman even though I am a female.  I was stationed in Ft. Hood TX. in the Second Armored Div. In the 502ns M.P. Co. (I give that info just in case anyone was also) It was one of our jobs to keep the cattle out of the compound...
    singer1960 singer1960
    46-50, F
    5 Responses Jun 11, 2008
    SpiceZ SpiceZ
    56-60, F
    Dec 1, 2013

    GF and I decided to take ballroom dance lessons.

    I'm not that into dance but OK, whatever makes the "little" woman happy. Well we did pretty good with the steps, timing, twirls, and stuff but when we got to the dip... Yep, dropped her like a fence post.
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz
    51-55, M
    Feb 24

    When growin up in my house my mom would sneak

    treats. She would hide in her bedroom an enjoy a candy bar or a cookie I almost always cough her. She would then give me some to keep me quite and from not telling my four younger sisters. Well I bought myslef a bag of cookies as I was bringing them to the living room my younger...
    Eloradanan98 Eloradanan98
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 19, 2015

    So it was Christmas Morning (Today.

    MERRY CHRISTMAS) and my little sister work up me, my mom, and my twin. So we were all getting ready and she comes downstairs and announces that its only 7 o'clock here (we came to visit my grandparents for the holidays and they live in a different time zone, they are one hour...
    CupcakeQueen318 CupcakeQueen318
    16-17, F
    Dec 25, 2013

    Can I Have My Rocket Back?????

    My husband is a space nerd.....This is not a bad thing...It is just that he really is... He has done lots of things dealing with space....and always watches space things...Real and make believe....But hey...I am a Trekker also...(that is someone that love Star Trek...But knows...
    singer1960 singer1960
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Jun 7, 2009

    does getting high out of you mind on a hotbox

    adventure with two girls, then having to **** in a bottle because you didnt want to open the door and ruin the hotboxing count as funny because at the time it was the most hilarious thing ever.
    Vixkit Vixkit
    18-21, M
    Oct 19, 2015

    I'm in a good mood tonight,

    so I thought I'd share a funny story. This takes place at my grandma's house in Idaho. (Technically, she's my great-aunt, but we all call her grandma.) So, my older brother was reading this horror story about some guy who goes around killing people with a knife. This was...
    ThisIsJustForFun ThisIsJustForFun
    16-17, F
    Jan 24, 2015

    I Was Once Blond

    It may not sound that funny to you, but it absolutely makes me laugh loudly every time I remember it and every time I remember my look!It was two days before high school semester starts, my stupid sister played with my head to get hair highlights, but that's not the problem, she...
    MissGaga MissGaga
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 29, 2013

    A Meal To Remember-the Funniest (and The Most Fun) Dinner I Have Ever Had So Far In My Life…

    My sister and I have had many incidents through the years when we have laughed so hard we could hardly talk. There is one incident in particular that "lives in infamy" in our memories. We went to a family reunion together, a road trip of 800 miles, it was the first family...
    Chelebub Chelebub
    51-55, F
    1 Response Dec 6, 2012
    SpiceZ SpiceZ
    56-60, F
    Nov 30, 2013

    Was having a selfie binge

    when I saw that I was taking them upside down lol!
    Rhea03811 Rhea03811
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Nov 13, 2015
    SpiceZ SpiceZ
    56-60, F
    Feb 16, 2014

    15 Reasons You Definitely Can’t Go To The Gym Today

    1. It’s Sunday and you haven’t been to the gym all week. What kind of maniac starts a workout regimen on a day other than Monday? 2. It’s any day in the second half of the month. Fresh start on the 1st! 3. You really need to update your workout mix. And, honestly, a...
    SpiceZ SpiceZ
    56-60, F
    1 Response Nov 30, 2013

    A Funny Army Story

    This story is true....Only the names have been changed to protect the Innocent... I was a Military Police Corp. when I was in the army way back in 1980  ( will show my age a little) and this happened when I was getting ready to go out on patrol. This happened in Fort Hood...
    singer1960 singer1960
    46-50, F
    7 Responses Jun 4, 2008

    About a month or two ago,

    I was in my Spanish class and a teacher knocks on the door while my teacher was teaching. While the teachers were talking to each other, the one that knocked on the door turned his head to the right and did the "come on in" gesture with his hands and all of a sudden, a freaking...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jul 10, 2014

    A small 1 SEATER plane crashed into a cemetery.

    Police have recovered 102 bodies so far and will continue to dig throughout the night.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Sep 30, 2014

    My Freudian Slip

      being a workout junkie, i do use different products such as NO2, creatine, so on and so on. having been a frequent customer of a particular GNC store, i had built a good repoire with a young female sales clerk. being socially awkward and intimidated by young women this...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses May 19, 2008

    So my dog likes to embarrass me

    when we go out walking. he will sniff something for five minutes straight when there's someone on the sidewalk i don't want to see or i'm looking ratchet. and i'll just stand there like "Buddy come oooonnnn lets go". And he likes to alleviate his bowels on peoples lawns...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Sep 12, 2015
    SpiceZ SpiceZ
    56-60, F
    Dec 1, 2013

    My little brother likes to play jokes on me.

    So one day he put his sleeping bag over his head and tried to walk across the hall to my room. He thought that he could scare me. He ended up hitting the corner of the wall and fell down the stairs. I laughed so hard. I was literally on the floor laughing.
    seriousMJfan seriousMJfan
    16-17, F
    1 Response Mar 30, 2014

    An Almost Funny Story...

    about 3 weeks ago, on one of the coldest days yet, my car decided to die. the battery was dead. so i called a local shop to come out to the house and give me a jump start. the shop sent it's best mechanic out, but my car was so frozen that with him pushing and me steering, we...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jan 30, 2009

    in order to get something I need my mom told me

    to go up to my dad and say "daddy and we pwese go up to the store and get some dressers" and hug him a little bit
    Rhea03811 Rhea03811
    13-15, F
    3 Responses Nov 1, 2015

    This isn't really funny I just couldn't find

    the right group to share it. I don't get a whole lot of social interaction and so I wanted to tell someone what I did today. I cleaned out my closet, literally. I found a pitch pipe, a protractor, an old diary, some bug spray and gay/straight alliance ribbon, cheer curls, a...
    captivating23 captivating23
    22-25, F
    Aug 24, 2015

    Sarah Silverman

    this woman is funny! She was asked : Have you ever had unsafe sex ? Answer: Is there any other kind. I'm with Larry the Cable Guy-   thats funny, i don't care who you are.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses May 3, 2008
    SpiceZ SpiceZ
    56-60, F
    Feb 15, 2014

    We've all heard the joke what you do

    when you get locked in a car right? Most of us just laugh and say that doesn't happen idiot. Well today I entered the truck I drive which has both handles from the inside broken, so I usually open it through the outside I lower down the windows to get out. I had just left the...
    LivingLife93 LivingLife93
    22-25, M
    Sep 9, 2015

    The No Good, Very Bad Day

    Last night my computer tech was at my house until midnight trying to fix something, and then he took keys with him so he could come back today when I wasn't home to work on it some more. After he left I took a shower and went to bed. So....after not being able to sleep at all...
    alienz67 alienz67
    26-30, F
    1 Response Nov 27, 2008
    yaotl1 yaotl1
    16-17, M
    Sep 17, 2015

    good times :p

     Last night my sister had to go and move her car coz she'd blocked my dad in our driveway, so she went outside to move it, but she was gone ages. about 10 minutes later my other sister went outside to see where she was and then she was gone ages too.  I was...
    Jbeasant Jbeasant
    16-17, M
    1 Response May 16, 2009

    My sister started a new school this year

    and she has to walk. We are within a mile of the school so a bus doesn't come by. Since we just moved here, my mom took her the first few days and told her to find a friend to walk with. Now you don't know my sister but when she came to the van on the first day with a boy, I...
    kittenasylum kittenasylum
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 6, 2014

    Why I Blame My Clumsiness On My Dad...

    My mum told me that when I was a kid, my dad was doing some work on the roof. She kept repeatedly telling him to be careful, and my dad (jokingly) would respond "I know what I'm doing, woman!". Well, while getting off the roof via the ladder, he wasn't being careful and fell...
    Laihi Laihi
    26-30, F
    Dec 1, 2013

    Quick Laugh Because Im A Idiot Lol

    Facts that you need to know for this to make since -my friend lets say bob is very tall -my friend bob wears a very distinct coat -im a dumbass -keep in mind everything i did was in split second timeing ok so basically what happened was me and some friends were hangin out in...
    1Freeyourself1 1Freeyourself1
    18-21, M
    Nov 10, 2012

    The Love of Money......

    Some years ago I was in a lovely restaurant in New England with my ex. We had just been served our meal when my ex told me that he had spotted a twenty dollar bill on the floor about four feet behind my chair. Then he told me to pick it up but not be obvious about doing so. ...
    dartist dartist
    56-60, F
    5 Responses Aug 8, 2009

    No Really :chapter 2

    some how an erection email ad found its way to my mailbox. me of all people, of course i perused the products out of mere curiostity. viagra, cialis, so on and so on. what caught my eye was they offered viagra in SOFT chewable pill form.        ...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Apr 25, 2008

    When the doctor told my 96 year old mom

    that she has dimensia she turned to me and said, "don't worry dear, I'll get over it" and chuckled. At least she still has her sense of humor.
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz
    51-55, M
    2 Responses Aug 29, 2015

    The Lace Panties

    Upon arriving home last night, my husband handed me a bright pink pair of lace panties and said, "oh, these were in my gym bag tonight. these are yours, right"? I immediately burst into laughter and kept it up for a while. This was not the first time this has happened...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    7 Responses Nov 25, 2008

    Our Little Maddie....

    I have written lots of stories here about my Oldest grandson Thomas. And now I would love to tell about Our little Maddie... She is our Princess. and she will tell you that. She will walk up to you and tell you....Maddie is a Princess. and she does this often... Well last night...
    singer1960 singer1960
    46-50, F
    1 Response Feb 2, 2010

    Coworkers sister calls him at work laughing.

    Her son is four and has decided that the way to test if he has used enough toilet paper is to close the toilet seat and sit on it firmly to see if he leaves any marks. She's having difficulty explaining that that is not what the lid is for.
    tastyfrzz tastyfrzz
    51-55, M
    Sep 15, 2015

    Parent teacher conferences today.

    The teacher asked my daughter if she read the book. She said yes and the teacher said i dont think so. Shes shows me the test on the book. The last question asks who was Michelangelo. My 14 year old says a teenage mutant ninja turtle. I laughed for a second. Seriously lol he was...
    WhisperingEchoes WhisperingEchoes
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Feb 18

    So I've been staying at my friends apartment

    lately for personal reasons and I was taking a shower and blaring music and singing along and talk know how it goes well In the middle of my song my best friend who just got back from a date barges in and flings the shower curtain open not caring that I'm standing there buck...
    lilly756 lilly756
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 11, 2015

    This was forever ago,

    at least 10 years... Anyway, I was a wild and irresponsible person at this time in my life. I was making mushroom-chocolate's with my friend. We would chop up the dried-psilocybin containing mushrooms (the mushrooms that make you "trip".), and mix the bits with the melted...
    Nateindenver Nateindenver
    31-35, M
    1 Response Jun 28, 2014

    Watch The Best Turkey-frying Disasters Ever!

    Frying the Turkey for Thanksgiving dinner has become a very popular method of preparing the bird and with good reason — it is fast and the bird comes out moist and tasty with a nice crisp skin. The problem is that it is a cooking method that like the grill usually falls to...
    SpiceZ SpiceZ
    56-60, F
    1 Response Nov 28, 2013

    A Thanksgiving With Amoebas

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm looking forward to getting to know so many more of you here on EP. I love ya. This is more of a "cute" story, rather than a funny one, but I had to share it today. My eight year old son is a great guy. He's a little nerdie some times...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Nov 27, 2008

    My Sister And Her Shoes

    Had this really funny moment walking in the park today with my Sister. We were walking along footpath with not many people around but there is a guy following us for about 10 mins always keeping about 30-40 meters behind. We keep on walking then my sisters hears him coming closer...
    Ashleyh86 Ashleyh86
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Sep 8, 2013

    Business Before Pleasure

    long story short, wife works in convience store, she sold a 1500.00 winning ticket, the guy had to go out of town to redeem the ticket, he returned this morning to give my wife a 50$ tip, to which she replied she couldnt accept that amount, he kept insisting and she finally...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Mar 6, 2008

    So this happened to my sister not me

    but it's still really funny so I wanna share x3 So she was babysitting a couple of kids one night, a six year old girl and a four year old boy, and they wouldn't settle down to sleep no matter what. She asked what she could do to get them to sleep and the little girl said her...
    KuroKitsune KuroKitsune
    16-17, F
    Nov 10, 2014

    I Love Ketchup!!

    This happened when I was divorced. There was a really pretty woman at work, younger than I. I asked her out to lunch one day and we headed for the local restaraunt.We grabbed a booth and both ordered a hamburger. I was doing most of the talking,telling her anything that might...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses Aug 2, 2009
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