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I Have a Great Sense of Humour

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 530 People

    The Story of Jack Schitt.................

    "Who is Jack Schitt?", you ask. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well now it is possible for you to intellectually handle this situation............................ Jack Schitt is the only son of...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 2 Responses Dec 1, 2008

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    Tarquinn the Jokester!

    When I was a young lad I used  to think laughter was only for play time.... Serious situations always had to be serious... Sh!t, is that why I always feel asleep? LOL Well in my teens, on more than on occasion I would be teased about my glasses or being so nerdy...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 5, 2009

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    50 Dollars....................

    Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther,I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'   Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'  ...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M Oct 16, 2008

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    Be Careful...........................

    Guy makes a phone call................. "Hello?" "Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?" "No Daddy.  She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." After a brief pause,  Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 4 Responses Oct 20, 2008

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    i think i do lol i find a lot funny

    and can take a good joke and all that, which i think makes the fun in life, if you cannot love to have a lugh then what is the point lol xD, life is no fun if you cannot laugh :P xD
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 21, 2013

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    Shop Window Dummy

    My sense of humour can be bizarre at times........................................You know what it's like when you've had a few beers with your mates. Well, I was on the Channel Island of Guernsey with my football team and we were just partying all weekend. We had drunk a few...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M Sep 26, 2008

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    3 Minute Management Course................

    3-Minute Management Course  Lesson 1    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.    When she opens the door...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 3 Responses Oct 16, 2008

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    Irish Diet

    An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.   "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.   When the Irishman returned, he...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 3 Responses Jun 22, 2010

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    Fungirl's Gonna Kill Me For This..................

    How To Speak Southern Hah Tu Spek Suthun) BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 4 Responses Nov 11, 2008

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    Blonde's.........where Would We Be Without Them....

    A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down in a spare seat.    The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. On producing her cheaper ticket, the hostess...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 2 Responses Oct 7, 2008

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    Things Women Say.............

    Nine words women use... 1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Note: Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 2 Responses Oct 7, 2008

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    Work Ethic

    Hope you are giving your "ALL" at work today. Check out the productivity math. This is strictly a mathematical viewpoint................it goes like this:    What Makes 100%?  What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? ...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M Oct 7, 2008

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    Men Versus Women...............................

    Men and Women   Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves and chocolate is just another snack.   You can never be pregnant. You can...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 2 Responses Oct 14, 2008

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    Another One For the Girls...................

    Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married....   If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense of humor.    A recently married woman was invited out for a night with the "girls." She told her husband...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 1 Response Oct 17, 2008

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    2 Nuns.......................

    There were two nuns.. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M Oct 13, 2008

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    Why I Fired My Secretary

    Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 1 Response Jun 22, 2010

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    At Least I Think So

    I just always make people laugh. I love just saying these witty lines that pop in my head. It's even better when I find someone with the same sense of humor cause then we can joke around like this...   him: Hey you know there's a huge line that just...
    LiveIt28 LiveIt28 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 8, 2009

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    90 Percent Goofball!

    I do have a great sense of humor. Sometimes it's morbid, but that's just me. I have no problem with people calling me names in jest, I think it's funny! And I laugh like an idiot, all the time. XD There are only two things I don't like being made fun of, my bad teeth... that's...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 12, 2008

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    Australian Travellers...............

    2 friends are travelling around the outback in Australia, when one of them slips and falls down a small ravine. His friend climbs down to see what has happened and finds the guy lying motionless at the bottom. He immediately gets out his mobile phone and calls the emergency...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M Oct 22, 2008

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    Hahaha.......just Like That...........

    I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.' ----------------------- I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.' ----------------------- I went in to a pet shop. I...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 1 Response Jun 22, 2010

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    Here's One For the Girls...........................

    Yuo are just gonna love this one girls......................... EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY    After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.    "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.  "It is all so beautiful, God...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M Oct 16, 2008

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    A Man's Week At the Gym...................

      If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.   Dear Diary,    For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear)  ...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 3 Responses Dec 1, 2008

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    Beep Beep

    A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime. They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager . After waiting patiently for a few minutes, the little boy said loudly, "Wow, she's fat!" The mother bent down...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 1 Response Jun 22, 2010

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    You Will Love This Girls.............

    WOMEN'S A_R_S_E STUDY Here is a new study about women and how they feel about their arses. The results were pretty interesting: 30% of women think their arse is too fat............ 10% of women think their arse is too skinny...... The remaining 60% say they don't care...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 6 Responses Oct 20, 2008

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    Irish Maths Test

    Irish maths test Paddy wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little maths test. Here is your first question, the foreman said.  "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?"  Paddy says? "Dat's easy." And proceeds to draw...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M Jun 22, 2010

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    More From The Irish...........

    Paddy & Mick go to  London to donate *****. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!!  -------------------------------------------------------------------------  Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M Jun 22, 2010

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    Well

        Obviously. 
    kleisse kleisse 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 27, 2008

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    Funny Jokes

    "I was going to attend the clairvoyants meeting, but it was cancelled due to unforeseen events." Two atoms are in a bar.  One turns to the other and says "I believe I lost an electron".  The other atom says "are you sure?" to which the first atom replies "I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jun 21, 2010

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    I Almost Got Caught!!!

      A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." So the next day, they all leave right after the boss...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 2 Responses Nov 11, 2008

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    Who Remembers the Y2k Problem..............?

    We are now Y to K compliant. This is a story dating back over 8 years when companies were concerned about the potential problems with our computers as we approached the new millenium, affectionately known as the Y2K problem. A boss had mentioned to his blonde...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M Nov 11, 2008

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    Blonde Time...............

    A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and the other was named Timex.  Her friend said, "Who ever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 2 Responses Nov 11, 2008

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    Very Easy

    I pretty much laugh at everything. Strangely enough guys put forth effort to make me laugh.
    GoddessNakiBean GoddessNakiBean 36-40, F Dec 17, 2008

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    Just to Make You Smile.............................

    Here's a few funnies which will hopefully make you all smile and brighten up your day. Enjoy........................ I backed a horse today at 20:1. It came in at twenty past four. I had a ploughman's lunch the...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M Oct 30, 2008

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    Blonde's.........where Would We Be Without Them....

    A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down in a spare seat.    The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. On producing her cheaper ticket, the hostess...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 2 Responses Oct 7, 2008

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    If I Could Swim...................

    There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 11, 2008

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    Bright Blonde.....then Dumb Blonde.......

    Bubba and Jemma (who was a blonde)  were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M Nov 11, 2008

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    You're Gonna Hate These.......................

    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that, ..............'you can't have your kayak and heat it'.  I did try to warn you............................Here's another. A group of chess...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 4 Responses Oct 13, 2008

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    Harley Davidson

    The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 29, 2008

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    Timbuktu................

    The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semi-finalists, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Arkansas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word a come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu."...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 2 Responses Nov 11, 2008

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    How Times Change............................

    How times change!       Scenario:    Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates. 2008 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 2 Responses Oct 20, 2008

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    How to Get Your Man Going..............

    3 women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men..................................... They agreed that night, all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stiletto's and a mask over their...
    Cueman147 Cueman147 51-55, M 1 Response Oct 13, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I believe that people become adults when they realize that they'll have to work for what they want and need.
    GoodLyndi GoodLyndi 41-45 1 Response a week ago

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    I've made it through some tough events in my life - standing alone. I had no guidance no patents to tell me your doing great, I'm proud if you. I didn't have friends and grew up...
    AquariusLife AquariusLife 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 29

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    I have been improving my belief in my self More lately it's wonderful
    rosiebloom rosiebloom 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 1

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    I really do! I have a disability myself and so I know exactly what it's like and how hard it is in a society we live in today... I know how horrible the struggles are and the...
    MilweePetite MilweePetite 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 13

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    I suppose I draw from discipline instilled in me when I was younger and the belief that there's got to be something bigger than us out there. I have been through a lot and I feel...
    MelMel68 MelMel68 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 13

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    You are walking in the park at dusk and you see this,what would you do? https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/t1.0-9/p480x480/525377_555963044444628_46714772_n.jpg...
    berangere berangere 66-70, F 6 Responses Jul 6

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    Priceless.
    berangere berangere 66-70, F 1 Response Jul 15

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    My jokes aren't always good, but once in a while it's funny. I also like when people make me laugh, it breaks the tension and everyone has fun.
    MelodieSlute MelodieSlute 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 26

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    You are WELCOME people!! Haha
    LOOKN4NSIGHT43 LOOKN4NSIGHT43 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 27

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    If you make me laugh there's a huge chance I will love you forever like for real lmaoooooo 😂😂😂-ari
    zakiana15 zakiana15 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 30

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    Lol. Lmao. But. Not mad at me. Lol Lmao.
    converted converted 46-50, M a week ago