Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Have a Huge Wall Up Around My Heart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 170 People

    I Won´t Disturb the Slumber of Feelings That Have Died

    A  winter´s day In a deep and dark December I am alone, Gazing from my window to the streets below On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island. I´ve built walls, A fortress deep and mighty, That none may penetrate. I have no...
    underconstruction underconstruction 41-45, F 12 Responses Sep 25, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ouch.

    I've been analyzing this for a pretty long tiem and yes, fianlly realozed that i have built an impenetrabel wall around me. My friends? All women. So what guys do i get along with? My bros. And that's only because i have huge blackmail bombs hanging on their personal lives...
    dearstranger dearstranger 18-21, F Jun 2, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Berlin? Meh! Call That A Wall?

      It separates the Palestinians from the Israelis, 600km of steel reinforced concrete, 12m high... A wall? Pah! It's a three thousand kilometre stone fence linking a series of armed fortresses, keeping the forbidden kingdom safe from the marauding barbarian hordes... Great...
    amberdextrous amberdextrous 51-55, M 3 Responses Nov 14, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Pink Floyd's "the Wall"

    To me this album was about someone who was hurt for most of their life. This person became numb to the world and everyone within. He withdrew into the walls of his mind and eventually went insane and craved the contact from the outside world. I have been in many relationships...
    Phreeek Phreeek 26-30 Jul 19, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wall Around My Heart

    I've built this wall around my heart, and slowly over time. With every loss that I endure, higher and higher it climbs. A fortress shielding me from pain, nobody can break through. You met me at it's highest point, this is so unfair to you. My wall was built to hide the scars...
    RiotGrrrll RiotGrrrll 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Well, Sometimes

    But the damn thing keeps getting broken down. In late 2004, I mentally constructed a high wall of stone which I was in, and that no one could get through. How foolish it feels to keep vowing this, and having it crumbled again by the right words.
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 26, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Bigest Wall

    I have many walls around my heart when people hurt me . it takes alot for me to put up my walls .
    lunnas lunnas 41-45, F Dec 22, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Love

    i will let u in, i know my hearts been broke oh , so many times before. but am still willing to take a chance. if only i could find the love am looking 4.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 30, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Troubles

    Ever since last year when the one girl that I met on my own with out having anyone introduce me to her betrayed me I haven't been able to open up to anyone new. I made no new friends, but some acquaintances that I play sports with time to time to keep me sane. Today one of my...
    WinterWisper WinterWisper 22-25 Apr 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    No More Pain

    if i could lock up my heart (so to speak),so as not to let anyone hurt me again, i would. my heart has been broke so many times, i will never be whole again. i let people in , but only a few. i now i will be hurt again, its a part of life. but now i guard my feelings, n i have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 5, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Love

    i let u in , u knew how alone i felt. i believed the lies u spoke, i thought this time its going to be allright. but like all the rest, u never even tried once u had me, u threw my feelings aside. i look at u know, n i wonder how, was i such a fool, to believe in love once again...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 25, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Made Of Stone

    My skin is ice. My heart is stone. My blood is lead. My voice is cold. My brain is metal. My eyes so dark its like staring into death. No kindness can get past all of my defences.No words of love or care could enter my heart of stone. No warth of a persons touch could melt the...
    RebalLover RebalLover 16-17, F Mar 21, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Wall... I have a wall you cannot see

    Because its deep inside of me. It blocks my heart on every side And helps emotions there to hide. You cant reach in, I cant reach out, You wonder what its all about. The wall i built that you cant see Results from insecurity. Each time my tender heart was hurt...
    submissivelittlewoman submissivelittlewoman 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Would U Want To Tho

    yes, i try to keep my heart locked away, its been broken so often there is not much left, but if u try if u really want to u just might succed , i may let u in. but why would u want to, when there is barely anything left of me.
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Nov 13, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am The Opposite Way....

    ...I am completely vulnerable, and I get hurt too easily. I have a great deal of love to share, but I can't seem to share it anywhere. I get attached to someone, and set my heart upon them - and them alone - and when I feel like I might lose them, or when I am reminded of all...
    BonVie BonVie 41-45, M 4 Responses Jun 26, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How My Wall Works

    I very rarely make a close friend. Rarely ever. I see what a person is like by getting to know them, but never letting them know me. This wall is a challenge for those who claim they can love anyone. I push people away, and block them from seeing me. If the person can pick up on...
    SmilesGoForMiles SmilesGoForMiles 16-17, M Dec 16, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Do Walls Shut Out Others Or Imprison the One Who Builds Them?

    What a gift to have a kind and caring heart!  Yet, kind and caring hearts can and do ultimately risk being broken...intentionally or accidentally.  Sometimes the pieces can be put back together again and the heart mended...sometimes, the wound is primal and perhaps...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 27, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Life

    i would let u in, but am to afraid. u tell me all the things i want to hear. its to much like a game. so i close my heart off to try n shield out the pain. all i want is 4 just one man to prove to me he is different from the rest. n i would let him in.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 25, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If Only

    can u promise me u will love ME?will u hold me close when i need to feel anothers touch? will u promise me to never turn away from me?i can promise u all that n so much more. if only love like that was real.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 4, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    My heart breaks this morning as I watched the new. The pictures of those little innocent lifeless bodies that washed up on the Turkish shores was to much to comprehend. These are...
    Sunnykel76 Sunnykel76 36-40, F 1 Response 43 mins ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Tears have no weight but it carries heavy feelings :(
    ItsMeAriana ItsMeAriana 18-21, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My girlfriend was 17 and three months pregnant when we met. The father bailed out as soon as he found out she was carrying twins. I fell for her before she started showing and...
    anaz4 anaz4 18-21 1 Response 2 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Broken still but holding on. It's been a train wreck but managed not to be killed, by me. But I had spread negativity to too many people. Crippled legs, weakened body, lost soul...
    catacomb catacomb 66-70 4 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Today I double wrapped a rubber band around my lower right arm hoping to cut the circulation off. I was going to leave it for the whole night until after I slept to see if that...
    sonnyday5 sonnyday5 16-17 4 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    If I don't have music.... My life goes to the crapper pretty fast... It calms the demons in my soul... It excites the heart and body... It makes me take a step back... A step back...
    HisBeautifulDisaster HisBeautifulDisaster 36-40, F 6 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    despite all the people around me I've been forced to do everything alone. my family are toxic to be around, I have no friends around me and I ended up in a toxic relationship that...
    LewisCollins LewisCollins 31-35 1 Response 14 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Most people on EP find this very hard to believe, but I promise you all that I have no friends outside of EP lol. Literally, I have none, nada, zip, zilch, zero. If I were to die...
    PrinceStrawHat PrinceStrawHat 18-21, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have school tomorrow and i really dont want to go because i have to face a girl who almost drove my best friend to suicide on purpose TWICE yet she still tries to convince us to...
    tragician tragician 13-15, F 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A heart that seemed once filled Now empty within Silently searching Only to find dead ends The longing The wanting The aching So magnified, during certain moments Reaching...
    HeartOfPoetry HeartOfPoetry 36-40, F 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have so much built up anger and resentment towards many. Yet I can never express myself, ever, because I don't want to make people feel hurt. Therefore I hurt myself more. Ugh...
    Whatsmystory Whatsmystory 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I think one of the more depressing things I put up with at this point in my life would have to be listening to all these other people around my age - and even years younger - who...
    Jugemu Jugemu 31-35, M 1 Response 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    if I told people that I am bipolar and have PTSD from childhood traumas, and military traumas would they want to know me... Or would they politely exit stage left once they found...
    harleyblu73 harleyblu73 41-45, F 1 Response 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Even if we no longer dance, will you always consider me yours? I was that different one; The one who got too close and caused such storms within you. Protective and possessive...
    NoLightOfMyOwn NoLightOfMyOwn 41-45, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Not the biggest but not getting any smaller either. Also I don't mind having big moobs
    chubbyhubby250 chubbyhubby250 36-40, M Aug 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    i like men that have moobs :)
    Shaunmay Shaunmay 22-25, F 4 Responses Aug 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My Fake Mother's Boyfriend or one of his family members, all of whom are all against me because of my Fake Mother's lies, stole my passport, when he came into the house and I was...
    ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT 26-30, F Aug 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am a 68 year old business man in Ireland. One year ago I was diagnosed with Atrial Afib with long pauses.I acatually fell and had a bang on the back of my skull. My CT was...
    DEMO1947 DEMO1947 66-70, M Aug 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have social anxiety. Everybody feels uncomfortable when they are alone around people they don't know but I have a huge fear of it.. Even when I'm with someone. I am good at...
    haylbail haylbail 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My dad controls my life, and he enjoys it. He belittles me, insults me, makes me feel insecure about myself. He gets angry over small things and I feel like i'm always walking on...
    Mayurichi Mayurichi 13-15, T Aug 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am just so frustrated and angry with myself right now. I have been trying to get to a normal weight and maintain it for YEARS and I just cannot seem to get there. I am stuck on a...
    Robinzasio Robinzasio 41-45, F Aug 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am a very private person and I find that when people start to get close to me, I back away. I've never liked having best friends. I do have best friends but its because they want...
    givingtree13 givingtree13 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My heart is growing a huge wall around it..
    Jayduh97 Jayduh97 18-21, F Aug 23