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I Have a Huge Wall Up Around My Heart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 164 People

    I Won´t Disturb the Slumber of Feelings That Have Died

    A  winter´s day In a deep and dark December I am alone, Gazing from my window to the streets below On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island. I´ve built walls, A fortress deep and mighty, That none may penetrate. I have no...
    underconstruction underconstruction 41-45, F 12 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    I Am The Opposite Way....

    ...I am completely vulnerable, and I get hurt too easily. I have a great deal of love to share, but I can't seem to share it anywhere. I get attached to someone, and set my heart upon them - and them alone - and when I feel like I might lose them, or when I am reminded of all...
    BonVie BonVie 41-45, M 4 Responses Jun 26, 2011

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    The Wall... I have a wall you cannot see

    Because its deep inside of me. It blocks my heart on every side And helps emotions there to hide. You cant reach in, I cant reach out, You wonder what its all about. The wall i built that you cant see Results from insecurity. Each time my tender heart was hurt...
    submissivelittlewoman submissivelittlewoman 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 14

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    Do Walls Shut Out Others Or Imprison the One Who Builds Them?

    What a gift to have a kind and caring heart!  Yet, kind and caring hearts can and do ultimately risk being broken...intentionally or accidentally.  Sometimes the pieces can be put back together again and the heart mended...sometimes, the wound is primal and perhaps...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 27, 2009

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    Ouch.

    I've been analyzing this for a pretty long tiem and yes, fianlly realozed that i have built an impenetrabel wall around me. My friends? All women. So what guys do i get along with? My bros. And that's only because i have huge blackmail bombs hanging on their personal lives...
    dearstranger dearstranger 18-21, F Jun 2, 2013

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    No More Pain

    if i could lock up my heart (so to speak),so as not to let anyone hurt me again, i would. my heart has been broke so many times, i will never be whole again. i let people in , but only a few. i now i will be hurt again, its a part of life. but now i guard my feelings, n i have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Wall Around My Heart

    I've built this wall around my heart, and slowly over time. With every loss that I endure, higher and higher it climbs. A fortress shielding me from pain, nobody can break through. You met me at it's highest point, this is so unfair to you. My wall was built to hide the scars...
    adorablefreak adorablefreak 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2010

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    Well, Sometimes

    But the damn thing keeps getting broken down. In late 2004, I mentally constructed a high wall of stone which I was in, and that no one could get through. How foolish it feels to keep vowing this, and having it crumbled again by the right words.
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 26, 2009

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    Why Would U Want To Tho

    yes, i try to keep my heart locked away, its been broken so often there is not much left, but if u try if u really want to u just might succed , i may let u in. but why would u want to, when there is barely anything left of me.
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Nov 13, 2009

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    How My Wall Works

    I very rarely make a close friend. Rarely ever. I see what a person is like by getting to know them, but never letting them know me. This wall is a challenge for those who claim they can love anyone. I push people away, and block them from seeing me. If the person can pick up on...
    SmilesGoForMiles SmilesGoForMiles 18-21, M Dec 16, 2012

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    Made Of Stone

    My skin is ice. My heart is stone. My blood is lead. My voice is cold. My brain is metal. My eyes so dark its like staring into death. No kindness can get past all of my defences.No words of love or care could enter my heart of stone. No warth of a persons touch could melt the...
    RebalLover RebalLover 13-15, F Mar 21, 2013

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    Life

    i would let u in, but am to afraid. u tell me all the things i want to hear. its to much like a game. so i close my heart off to try n shield out the pain. all i want is 4 just one man to prove to me he is different from the rest. n i would let him in.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    Berlin? Meh! Call That A Wall?

      It separates the Palestinians from the Israelis, 600km of steel reinforced concrete, 12m high... A wall? Pah! It's a three thousand kilometre stone fence linking a series of armed fortresses, keeping the forbidden kingdom safe from the marauding barbarian hordes... Great...
    amberdextrous amberdextrous 51-55, M 3 Responses Nov 14, 2009

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    Pink Floyd's "the Wall"

    To me this album was about someone who was hurt for most of their life. This person became numb to the world and everyone within. He withdrew into the walls of his mind and eventually went insane and craved the contact from the outside world. I have been in many relationships...
    Phreeek Phreeek 26-30 Jul 19, 2011

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    If Only

    can u promise me u will love ME?will u hold me close when i need to feel anothers touch? will u promise me to never turn away from me?i can promise u all that n so much more. if only love like that was real.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 4, 2009

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    Troubles

    Ever since last year when the one girl that I met on my own with out having anyone introduce me to her betrayed me I haven't been able to open up to anyone new. I made no new friends, but some acquaintances that I play sports with time to time to keep me sane. Today one of my...
    WinterWisper WinterWisper 22-25 Apr 22, 2013

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    The Bigest Wall

    I have many walls around my heart when people hurt me . it takes alot for me to put up my walls .
    lunnas lunnas 41-45, F Dec 22, 2009

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    Love

    i will let u in, i know my hearts been broke oh , so many times before. but am still willing to take a chance. if only i could find the love am looking 4.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 30, 2009

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    Love

    i let u in , u knew how alone i felt. i believed the lies u spoke, i thought this time its going to be allright. but like all the rest, u never even tried once u had me, u threw my feelings aside. i look at u know, n i wonder how, was i such a fool, to believe in love once again...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I know I'm not the type to be loved. I know what men want and it has nothing to do with my heart. The walls are slowly being built. It is a long painful process but one that will...
    bzylady bzylady 36-40, F a week ago

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    I will only love people if they love me I am a person that dont get angry OR jealous because I try my best to have a pure heart with no evil in it I can be very girly at times...
    Jamelamel Jamelamel 13-15, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Emotions. Flexible. Easy to manipulate. Right? Whenever I look into the mirror, what am I really seeing? Just a simple me. What matters to me the most? What would I write to my...
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    I absolutely cannot stand groupthink. Also known as sheep, herd, or mob mentality. I respect and admire people who are independent minded and can make their own decisions without...
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    I just realized that 'feel good with someone' and 'love someone' are different meanings. He said to me "I feel good to be with you, talking to you." 5years later and now He say...
    DAOZ DAOZ 18-21, F Aug 1

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    Different various addresses with commas. Limited to ten recipients. We will never share any of the email addresses on this kind with 3rd get-togethers.In addition they add a nice...
    Lillafyq Lillafyq 31-35, M Aug 19

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    Our high-quality workmanship and colour matching on the mortar to the limestone blocks is what will make our limestone walls the best about.We actually recognize your check out to...
    Devon1739q Devon1739q 31-35, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Our quality workmanship and colour matching on the mortar into the limestone blocks is what tends to make our limestone walls the most beneficial close to.Our Limestone Walls are...
    Noelict Noelict 31-35, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    With above twelve quarries to pick your limestone from at direct charges, you have exactly what you wish, and we offer Experienced information along the way.Your new limestone wall...
    Madonnadz Madonnadz 31-35, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    It was a bright sunny afternoon. I had joined the organization that day and was very excited to start afresh after passing out of college and experience the challenges after that...
    aniruddh1984 aniruddh1984 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 14

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    As far as I can remember I can't recall the last time my parents ever said I love you or we are proud of you hugged me or even had a discussion with me, I'm originally francophone...
    alexaz66 alexaz66 26-30, M Aug 11

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    I do! I really do! I have a huge, soft, loving heart!!
    lagatta lagatta 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 29

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    Everyone always thinks we go out but we don't. I have a feeling he thinks I like him 'in that way'. I always have my arm around him or hold his hand but this is just simply...
    Gemz2411 Gemz2411 18-21, F 7 hrs ago

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    I've had a lot of friends throughout my life, but none of them have really stuck around or I found they weren't really my friend after all. So for a long time I sort of just set...
    HillyHana HillyHana 18-21, F Aug 19

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    Three year old miracle girl found alive after 11 days in Siberian taiga - thanks to her puppy: Her dog saved her by caring for Karina for nine days then returning home and guiding...
    rajblr1970 rajblr1970 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 13

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    A LETTER TO MY FIRST LOVE: My heart is still broken, i cover it up with jokes and smiles and just avoiding the pain. But nothing is more painful than laying down ready to go sleep...
    Islandkween Islandkween 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    I am 19 years old and have had 3 major heart surgeries one of them being open heart.
    Klcataldo Klcataldo 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15

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    my family are nice people don't get me wrong. I love them and they do love me. I just don't feel like I can be myself around them. Granted to an extent, I think people will have...
    ajrestless ajrestless 18-21, F a week ago

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    Second hand cigarette smoke: gives me severe allergies consisting of major ear pain that leads to a migraine headache that takes me 48 hours to get rid of, extremely itchy ears, a...
    OverWorkedWoman OverWorkedWoman 18-21, F Aug 21

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    With the end of the Xbox 360 karaoke app in a few days, I have been singing my heart out in the basement. My pending ex wife doesn't like it and I'm glad I don't have to care. It's...
    nocturnalhound nocturnalhound 31-35, M Aug 12

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    This turned out to generally be a perfect final decision. I can't advise sufficient upgrading for the Select All Inclusive. The typical All Inclusive about the Island was good...
    Wendigmn Wendigmn 31-35, M 1 Response a week ago

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    I have a tiny red heart with an arrow through the middle just under my eyebrows on the right side of my nose. Strange right!
    heyitsabike heyitsabike 31-35, F 1 day ago

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    All of my dreams that I've had for the last five or six years have been centered around blood, sex, and death. In every dream either I die a horrible bloody death or a kill someone...
    MsM1620 MsM1620 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 29

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    My life has been roller coaster in every sense. I come from middle class family in India where mom was bread earner & father was mentally sick. Father didn't even know I was born...
    smilealllife smilealllife 31-35, M Jul 30

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    When I am eating standing up I have to move around...like dance or move my hands or feet, lol sometimes I don't even realise I'm doing it. I can eat peanut butter with a spoon...
    Daisymay77 Daisymay77 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 1

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    It's like my mother has two personalities. One moment she is happy and interested in our conversation...the next she is crabby and doesn't want to speak with me anymore. So...
    CatLover311 CatLover311 22-25, F Aug 8

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    i was bullied for quite a few years and that left me with depression at where im at now. ive self harmed to release what i was feeling and ive starved myself to fit their perfect...
    simplyyzoee simplyyzoee 13-15, F Aug 12

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    Yeah... this is probably on my top ten list of 'weird dreams I have that makes absolutely no sense' Hard to explain where I was, but I was surronded by what could be smooth cliffs...
    Jumeia Jumeia 26-30, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    My mom told me once that her disease made her feel like an octopus. I said what do you mean? She said her arms and legs feel like they are out of control. She wants me to take her...
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    There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool, That's noted for fresh air and fun, And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom Went there with young Albert, their son. A grand little lad was...
    marklovescoffee marklovescoffee 46-50, M 3 Responses 17 hrs ago