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I Have a Huge Wall Up Around My Heart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 163 People

    I Won´t Disturb the Slumber of Feelings That Have Died

    A  winter´s day In a deep and dark December I am alone, Gazing from my window to the streets below On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island. I´ve built walls, A fortress deep and mighty, That none may penetrate. I have no...
    underconstruction underconstruction 41-45, F 12 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    The Wall... I have a wall you cannot see

    Because its deep inside of me. It blocks my heart on every side And helps emotions there to hide. You cant reach in, I cant reach out, You wonder what its all about. The wall i built that you cant see Results from insecurity. Each time my tender heart was hurt...
    submissivelittlewoman submissivelittlewoman 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 14

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    Why Would U Want To Tho

    yes, i try to keep my heart locked away, its been broken so often there is not much left, but if u try if u really want to u just might succed , i may let u in. but why would u want to, when there is barely anything left of me.
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Nov 13, 2009

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    Ouch.

    I've been analyzing this for a pretty long tiem and yes, fianlly realozed that i have built an impenetrabel wall around me. My friends? All women. So what guys do i get along with? My bros. And that's only because i have huge blackmail bombs hanging on their personal lives...
    dearstranger dearstranger 18-21, F Jun 2, 2013

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    How My Wall Works

    I very rarely make a close friend. Rarely ever. I see what a person is like by getting to know them, but never letting them know me. This wall is a challenge for those who claim they can love anyone. I push people away, and block them from seeing me. If the person can pick up on...
    SmilesGoForMiles SmilesGoForMiles 16-17, M Dec 16, 2012

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    Well, Sometimes

    But the damn thing keeps getting broken down. In late 2004, I mentally constructed a high wall of stone which I was in, and that no one could get through. How foolish it feels to keep vowing this, and having it crumbled again by the right words.
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 26, 2009

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    Troubles

    Ever since last year when the one girl that I met on my own with out having anyone introduce me to her betrayed me I haven't been able to open up to anyone new. I made no new friends, but some acquaintances that I play sports with time to time to keep me sane. Today one of my...
    WinterWisper WinterWisper 22-25 Apr 22, 2013

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    Pink Floyd's "the Wall"

    To me this album was about someone who was hurt for most of their life. This person became numb to the world and everyone within. He withdrew into the walls of his mind and eventually went insane and craved the contact from the outside world. I have been in many relationships...
    Phreeek Phreeek 26-30 Jul 19, 2011

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    I Am The Opposite Way....

    ...I am completely vulnerable, and I get hurt too easily. I have a great deal of love to share, but I can't seem to share it anywhere. I get attached to someone, and set my heart upon them - and them alone - and when I feel like I might lose them, or when I am reminded of all...
    BonVie BonVie 41-45, M 4 Responses Jun 26, 2011

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    Berlin? Meh! Call That A Wall?

      It separates the Palestinians from the Israelis, 600km of steel reinforced concrete, 12m high... A wall? Pah! It's a three thousand kilometre stone fence linking a series of armed fortresses, keeping the forbidden kingdom safe from the marauding barbarian hordes... Great...
    amberdextrous amberdextrous 51-55, M 3 Responses Nov 14, 2009

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    Love

    i let u in , u knew how alone i felt. i believed the lies u spoke, i thought this time its going to be allright. but like all the rest, u never even tried once u had me, u threw my feelings aside. i look at u know, n i wonder how, was i such a fool, to believe in love once again...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    If Only

    can u promise me u will love ME?will u hold me close when i need to feel anothers touch? will u promise me to never turn away from me?i can promise u all that n so much more. if only love like that was real.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 4, 2009

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    Love

    i will let u in, i know my hearts been broke oh , so many times before. but am still willing to take a chance. if only i could find the love am looking 4.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 30, 2009

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    The Bigest Wall

    I have many walls around my heart when people hurt me . it takes alot for me to put up my walls .
    lunnas lunnas 41-45, F Dec 22, 2009

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    Life

    i would let u in, but am to afraid. u tell me all the things i want to hear. its to much like a game. so i close my heart off to try n shield out the pain. all i want is 4 just one man to prove to me he is different from the rest. n i would let him in.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    Made Of Stone

    My skin is ice. My heart is stone. My blood is lead. My voice is cold. My brain is metal. My eyes so dark its like staring into death. No kindness can get past all of my defences.No words of love or care could enter my heart of stone. No warth of a persons touch could melt the...
    RebalLover RebalLover 13-15, F Mar 21, 2013

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    Do Walls Shut Out Others Or Imprison the One Who Builds Them?

    What a gift to have a kind and caring heart!  Yet, kind and caring hearts can and do ultimately risk being broken...intentionally or accidentally.  Sometimes the pieces can be put back together again and the heart mended...sometimes, the wound is primal and perhaps...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 27, 2009

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    Wall Around My Heart

    I've built this wall around my heart, and slowly over time. With every loss that I endure, higher and higher it climbs. A fortress shielding me from pain, nobody can break through. You met me at it's highest point, this is so unfair to you. My wall was built to hide the scars...
    adorablefreak adorablefreak 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2010

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    No More Pain

    if i could lock up my heart (so to speak),so as not to let anyone hurt me again, i would. my heart has been broke so many times, i will never be whole again. i let people in , but only a few. i now i will be hurt again, its a part of life. but now i guard my feelings, n i have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I feel like such a bad person...but I have been fooling around with a black girl at school behind my boyfriend's back. I feel badly about it because I know that I am not being...
    emily51515 emily51515 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 5

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    Walls of protection. Can be built from sorrow, abuse, or just fear. For some we give all or none, for me it is usually all. The wall crumbles life is good then all at once it...
    Leeand29 Leeand29 51-55, F Nov 22

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    Believe me, I didn't used to!! I was open, naive, trusting. Well those days are gone.:( I have been hurt a few times in my life...have let my heart get broken. Then I build up...
    RubyLane RubyLane 41-45, F 4 Responses Nov 22

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    Let my walls down for a boy. Ended up getting hurt. I always am the the one who gets hurt. Guess it's time to start rebuilding and keeping everyone out. This time I'm not gonna be...
    jajolly12 jajolly12 13-15, F Dec 9

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    my wall protects me makes me feel safe I don't have to worry about my words being used against me or my scars being reopened my wall protects others from the real me the monster...
    boxgirl1987 boxgirl1987 26-30, F Nov 23

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    The walls are tall and thick, for what lies behind them are protected from the harsh world.Once there were no walls at all....torn to pieces by people who kept taking piece by...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F Nov 29

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    My whole life is a "heartbreak" I can't anymore.... I look around me and find so many ppl are happy in love and I can't embrace it given to me from another
    IntomeYousee IntomeYousee 36-40, F Nov 25

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    when I was little my dad beat me and yelled not to cry...Or else I would get more... Perhaps that's how this all started then throughout my teen years I've had a few mentally...
    boxgirl1987 boxgirl1987 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 23

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    Ever since i was a teenager, everyone said how big my thing is, and my balls.. I never thought of size until one day I was swimming with no clothes on at the lake in my...
    Niko864 Niko864 41-45, M 1 Response Dec 2

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    Why am I still trying to fight for you...
    LostBoy9236 LostBoy9236 22-25, M Dec 5

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    The closer to the day I get the more depressed I become rather then anxious... I'm almost sure that's not how it's supposed to work.
    LostBoy9236 LostBoy9236 22-25, M Dec 7

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    Because of this handsome little man!! Words could never explain the love I feel for my baby!!
    Anngeleyes Anngeleyes 26-30, F 6 days ago

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    I want a loooooonnnnnngggggg honeymoon !
    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F 2 Responses Dec 4

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    What if you lost your ability to Love ? What if the ability to enjoy everything was taken away from one day to the next ? This is a glimpse into my life suffering from a mental...
    jeromeleegriffin jeromeleegriffin 41-45, M Nov 30

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    My walled up heartI have a wall you cannot seeBecause its deep inside of me.It blocks my heart on every sideAnd helps emotions there to hide.You cant reach in,I cant reach out,You...
    kimmygary kimmygary 26-30, F 25 Responses Dec 6

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    My panic attacks have always been the worst. It was so severe a while ago, but it's getting better. I used to have at least 10 anxiety attacks per day. Now? It's down to none (I do...
    losingNemo losingNemo 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 1

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    I wonder how many guys have had crushes on me in school because seriously nobody ever made a move.. or it was me that didn't realize or made a wall around me..
    meandmythought meandmythought 26-30, F Nov 19

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    i used to. but she hurt me. now i have a wall built so high around me that i dont think i can even escape.
    lecksierae lecksierae 16-17, F 3 Responses Dec 9

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    A few years ago I was participating in a marathon event and at the half way mark I was super tired and felt just like I was running through treacle. As I am keen on fitness I...
    jjthornton jjthornton 41-45, M Nov 21

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    I honestly am probably going to get annoying with everything I am writing or will write but I don't know what else to do. Everything else I want to do is not healthy and I don't...
    searchingfar searchingfar 22-25, F 4 days ago

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    It's been 3 months and I have still a broken heart. He still controls my heart and my tears.
    sar4952 sar4952 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 27

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    Loneliness is a phenomenon that has swept the world off its feet. Loneliness really has no quick-fix. After all of these years, long years, of being lonely, it cannot be healed...
    AddyAddyAddy AddyAddyAddy 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 25

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    i really dont like them i cant stand to be around then and i cant have a life around them they either ruin it for me or make sure there is no way i can do it in hell my mom even...
    warriorwolf1818 warriorwolf1818 16-17, M 2 Responses Dec 4

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    I feel I'm going a little crazy again, I feel I don't know what to do with myself, who to turn to or where to even go. I have felt okay these past few months but something has...
    ExPButterfly ExPButterfly 16-17, F 6 days ago

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    It's been a few months since joining The Experience Project, thank you to all who have visited and those who have kindly left comments & hearts. To be honest I lost the link and...
    Darklydancing Darklydancing 56-60, F Nov 27

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    I guess I just attract the wrong women. Sad but true, I have had more than my share of cheaters and liars. Many women complain that they are sick of men cheating on them and lying...
    StraightGuyEnFemme StraightGuyEnFemme 46-50, M Dec 1

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    One day, she was a child full of life, hope, and great ambitions. Days go by. The child has grown. Years have broken her delicate heart. They blew out her candle. They buried her...
    Knefe24 Knefe24 22-25, F 8 Responses Dec 7

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    I'm actively looking for someone willing to help me get pregnant. My story is a long one and I'm willing to share the how's and why's of my dream to have a baby. I'm an educated...
    Chelle242 Chelle242 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 8

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    TO THE SENSITIVE ONES... Do not be ashamed of your sensitivity! It has brought you many riches. You see what others cannot see, Feel what others are ashamed to feel. You are more...