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I Have a Huge Wall Up Around My Heart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 164 People

    Ouch.

    I've been analyzing this for a pretty long tiem and yes, fianlly realozed that i have built an impenetrabel wall around me. My friends? All women. So what guys do i get along with? My bros. And that's only because i have huge blackmail bombs hanging on their personal lives...
    dearstranger dearstranger 18-21, F Jun 2, 2013

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    Pink Floyd's "the Wall"

    To me this album was about someone who was hurt for most of their life. This person became numb to the world and everyone within. He withdrew into the walls of his mind and eventually went insane and craved the contact from the outside world. I have been in many relationships...
    Phreeek Phreeek 26-30 Jul 19, 2011

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    Do Walls Shut Out Others Or Imprison the One Who Builds Them?

    What a gift to have a kind and caring heart!  Yet, kind and caring hearts can and do ultimately risk being broken...intentionally or accidentally.  Sometimes the pieces can be put back together again and the heart mended...sometimes, the wound is primal and perhaps...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 27, 2009

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    Well, Sometimes

    But the damn thing keeps getting broken down. In late 2004, I mentally constructed a high wall of stone which I was in, and that no one could get through. How foolish it feels to keep vowing this, and having it crumbled again by the right words.
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 26, 2009

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    Berlin? Meh! Call That A Wall?

      It separates the Palestinians from the Israelis, 600km of steel reinforced concrete, 12m high... A wall? Pah! It's a three thousand kilometre stone fence linking a series of armed fortresses, keeping the forbidden kingdom safe from the marauding barbarian hordes... Great...
    amberdextrous amberdextrous 51-55, M 3 Responses Nov 14, 2009

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    Wall Around My Heart

    I've built this wall around my heart, and slowly over time. With every loss that I endure, higher and higher it climbs. A fortress shielding me from pain, nobody can break through. You met me at it's highest point, this is so unfair to you. My wall was built to hide the scars...
    adorablefreak adorablefreak 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2010

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    The Wall... I have a wall you cannot see

    Because its deep inside of me. It blocks my heart on every side And helps emotions there to hide. You cant reach in, I cant reach out, You wonder what its all about. The wall i built that you cant see Results from insecurity. Each time my tender heart was hurt...
    submissivelittlewoman submissivelittlewoman 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 14

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    Why Would U Want To Tho

    yes, i try to keep my heart locked away, its been broken so often there is not much left, but if u try if u really want to u just might succed , i may let u in. but why would u want to, when there is barely anything left of me.
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Nov 13, 2009

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    I Won´t Disturb the Slumber of Feelings That Have Died

    A  winter´s day In a deep and dark December I am alone, Gazing from my window to the streets below On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island. I´ve built walls, A fortress deep and mighty, That none may penetrate. I have no...
    underconstruction underconstruction 41-45, F 12 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    If Only

    can u promise me u will love ME?will u hold me close when i need to feel anothers touch? will u promise me to never turn away from me?i can promise u all that n so much more. if only love like that was real.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 4, 2009

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    Life

    i would let u in, but am to afraid. u tell me all the things i want to hear. its to much like a game. so i close my heart off to try n shield out the pain. all i want is 4 just one man to prove to me he is different from the rest. n i would let him in.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    I Am The Opposite Way....

    ...I am completely vulnerable, and I get hurt too easily. I have a great deal of love to share, but I can't seem to share it anywhere. I get attached to someone, and set my heart upon them - and them alone - and when I feel like I might lose them, or when I am reminded of all...
    BonVie BonVie 41-45, M 4 Responses Jun 26, 2011

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    No More Pain

    if i could lock up my heart (so to speak),so as not to let anyone hurt me again, i would. my heart has been broke so many times, i will never be whole again. i let people in , but only a few. i now i will be hurt again, its a part of life. but now i guard my feelings, n i have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    The Bigest Wall

    I have many walls around my heart when people hurt me . it takes alot for me to put up my walls .
    lunnas lunnas 41-45, F Dec 22, 2009

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    Love

    i let u in , u knew how alone i felt. i believed the lies u spoke, i thought this time its going to be allright. but like all the rest, u never even tried once u had me, u threw my feelings aside. i look at u know, n i wonder how, was i such a fool, to believe in love once again...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    How My Wall Works

    I very rarely make a close friend. Rarely ever. I see what a person is like by getting to know them, but never letting them know me. This wall is a challenge for those who claim they can love anyone. I push people away, and block them from seeing me. If the person can pick up on...
    SmilesGoForMiles SmilesGoForMiles 18-21, M Dec 16, 2012

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    Troubles

    Ever since last year when the one girl that I met on my own with out having anyone introduce me to her betrayed me I haven't been able to open up to anyone new. I made no new friends, but some acquaintances that I play sports with time to time to keep me sane. Today one of my...
    WinterWisper WinterWisper 22-25 Apr 22, 2013

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    Made Of Stone

    My skin is ice. My heart is stone. My blood is lead. My voice is cold. My brain is metal. My eyes so dark its like staring into death. No kindness can get past all of my defences.No words of love or care could enter my heart of stone. No warth of a persons touch could melt the...
    RebalLover RebalLover 13-15, F Mar 21, 2013

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    Love

    i will let u in, i know my hearts been broke oh , so many times before. but am still willing to take a chance. if only i could find the love am looking 4.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 30, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I know I'm not the type to be loved. I know what men want and it has nothing to do with my heart. The walls are slowly being built. It is a long painful process but one that will...
    bzylady bzylady 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 21

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    I will only love people if they love me I am a person that dont get angry OR jealous because I try my best to have a pure heart with no evil in it I can be very girly at times...
    Jamelamel Jamelamel 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 25

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    Emotions. Flexible. Easy to manipulate. Right? Whenever I look into the mirror, what am I really seeing? Just a simple me. What matters to me the most? What would I write to my...
    Driftingminds Driftingminds 16-17, F Aug 20

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    My fiancé just left , on his way to his hotel and tomorrow he swears in one last time and he's off to bootcamp.Never cried so hard.😓
    katiekneecole katiekneecole 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 7

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    Just said my goodbyes , & he got in the van .Hes now officially off to PI...So many emotions .
    katiekneecole katiekneecole 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 8

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    Different various addresses with commas. Limited to ten recipients. We will never share any of the email addresses on this kind with 3rd get-togethers.In addition they add a nice...
    Lillafyq Lillafyq 31-35, M Aug 19

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    So me and my boyfriend are living together and we have argued a lot already and we have broken up. Honestly I believe it's a bunch of communication and trust issues and honestly I...
    Chipperme21 Chipperme21 22-25, M 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    Our high-quality workmanship and colour matching on the mortar to the limestone blocks is what will make our limestone walls the best about.We actually recognize your check out to...
    Devon1739q Devon1739q 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 24

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    With above twelve quarries to pick your limestone from at direct charges, you have exactly what you wish, and we offer Experienced information along the way.Your new limestone wall...
    Madonnadz Madonnadz 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 24

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    I've had a lot of friends throughout my life, but none of them have really stuck around or I found they weren't really my friend after all. So for a long time I sort of just set...
    HillyHana HillyHana 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 19

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    I don't have a wallet haha but if I did it would definitely say that I'm broke
    XxBadXVibesxX XxBadXVibesxX 13-15, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    In need of some rabbit advice!! Well I decided to get a baby bunny, I got her from a really nice guy who clearly has dedicated his life to his rabbits lol, he had a bunch, males...
    Beth0888 Beth0888 26-30, F 2 days ago

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    Im so sorry for my english im no good No right to fall inlove I have been raised in a very strict christian family, the rules and regulations are all bible base I do love God...
    natre natre 22-25, F Sep 5

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    literary i got a hole in my heart! and if someone says " im heartless!" i would say "i have a hole my heart but not heart less!"
    paige001 paige001 13-15, F Sep 6

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    A LETTER TO MY FIRST LOVE: My heart is still broken, i cover it up with jokes and smiles and just avoiding the pain. But nothing is more painful than laying down ready to go sleep...
    Islandkween Islandkween 18-21, F Aug 28

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    I have huge trouble opening up to boyfriends so my relationships are never as open, intimate and real as they should be. Im always afraid that as soon as I let them in they will...
    miloks miloks 26-30, F 5 Responses Sep 2

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    It's so hard to forgive and open up again. I can't keep healthy relationships, I'm not close to any family and I don't consider anyone to be a friend, only an acquaintance. I'm...
    lonelylonerr lonelylonerr 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 4

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    my family are nice people don't get me wrong. I love them and they do love me. I just don't feel like I can be myself around them. Granted to an extent, I think people will have...
    ajrestless ajrestless 18-21, F Aug 22

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    My current boyfriend makes me miss my ex boyfriend. That's not right, and I have such a heavy heart. I don't know what to do.... I am so sad...
    KrisMiss KrisMiss 22-25, F 5 Responses Sep 6

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    I've been having a really rough few days, my urges have been stronger than ever and I think it's because I've put a ton of pressure on myself to recover. I was doing so well too...
    nicolesz nicolesz 13-15, F Sep 8

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    Second hand cigarette smoke: gives me severe allergies consisting of major ear pain that leads to a migraine headache that takes me 48 hours to get rid of, extremely itchy ears, a...
    OverWorkedWoman OverWorkedWoman 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 21

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    I have a tiny red heart with an arrow through the middle just under my eyebrows on the right side of my nose. Strange right!
    heyitsabike heyitsabike 31-35, F Aug 27

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    Everyone always thinks we go out but we don't. I have a feeling he thinks I like him 'in that way'. I always have my arm around him or hold his hand but this is just simply...
    Gemz2411 Gemz2411 18-21, F Aug 29

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    It was a few years ago. I live in NY (the state - not the city) and i drove 14 hours to SC - where he lived. We had an amazing week. And then ... I decided we wouldn't work as a...
    AdriftDreamer AdriftDreamer 22-25, F Aug 30

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    I haven't take any heart medicine for years
    DarianB DarianB 18-21, F Sep 8

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    I want to start off by saying, I love this group name. It fits my situation perfectly. I used to be such a creative, artistic, expressive person. I had a 600+ page role-play going...
    rollingdoro rollingdoro 22-25, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    So I don't really talk about this, but I felt like confessing, I guess. So.. These brother issues occurred because of absence of a brother figure. Now.. I do have a brother, but I...
    MissClueless MissClueless 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 11

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    PART 2 Last September right before my birthday, she confessed her attraction to me. Is it because she feels bad for me because I don't attract guys, as well as the fact I can't...
    RainbowPastel RainbowPastel 16-17, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Im 20 years old and when I was 17 I got hpv from my first serious boyfriend that i lost my virginity to. I didnt sleep around and took relationships very seriously. I remember...
    xobxo94 xobxo94 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    My twin flame opened me up to spiritual connections. I met him in 2005 when I was 15 but we didn't start communication on a romantic level until I was about 17. Our age gap is so...
    starryxo starryxo 22-25 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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