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I Have a Huge Wall Up Around My Heart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 170 People

    How My Wall Works

    I very rarely make a close friend. Rarely ever. I see what a person is like by getting to know them, but never letting them know me. This wall is a challenge for those who claim they can love anyone. I push people away, and block them from seeing me. If the person can pick up on...
    SmilesGoForMiles SmilesGoForMiles 16-17, M Dec 16, 2012

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    Berlin? Meh! Call That A Wall?

      It separates the Palestinians from the Israelis, 600km of steel reinforced concrete, 12m high... A wall? Pah! It's a three thousand kilometre stone fence linking a series of armed fortresses, keeping the forbidden kingdom safe from the marauding barbarian hordes... Great...
    amberdextrous amberdextrous 51-55, M 3 Responses Nov 14, 2009

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    Do Walls Shut Out Others Or Imprison the One Who Builds Them?

    What a gift to have a kind and caring heart!  Yet, kind and caring hearts can and do ultimately risk being broken...intentionally or accidentally.  Sometimes the pieces can be put back together again and the heart mended...sometimes, the wound is primal and perhaps...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 27, 2009

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    Ouch.

    I've been analyzing this for a pretty long tiem and yes, fianlly realozed that i have built an impenetrabel wall around me. My friends? All women. So what guys do i get along with? My bros. And that's only because i have huge blackmail bombs hanging on their personal lives...
    dearstranger dearstranger 18-21, F Jun 2, 2013

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    If Only

    can u promise me u will love ME?will u hold me close when i need to feel anothers touch? will u promise me to never turn away from me?i can promise u all that n so much more. if only love like that was real.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 4, 2009

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    Life

    i would let u in, but am to afraid. u tell me all the things i want to hear. its to much like a game. so i close my heart off to try n shield out the pain. all i want is 4 just one man to prove to me he is different from the rest. n i would let him in.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    Love

    i will let u in, i know my hearts been broke oh , so many times before. but am still willing to take a chance. if only i could find the love am looking 4.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 30, 2009

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    The Bigest Wall

    I have many walls around my heart when people hurt me . it takes alot for me to put up my walls .
    lunnas lunnas 41-45, F Dec 22, 2009

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    Troubles

    Ever since last year when the one girl that I met on my own with out having anyone introduce me to her betrayed me I haven't been able to open up to anyone new. I made no new friends, but some acquaintances that I play sports with time to time to keep me sane. Today one of my...
    WinterWisper WinterWisper 22-25 Apr 22, 2013

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    Wall Around My Heart

    I've built this wall around my heart, and slowly over time. With every loss that I endure, higher and higher it climbs. A fortress shielding me from pain, nobody can break through. You met me at it's highest point, this is so unfair to you. My wall was built to hide the scars...
    RiotGrrrll RiotGrrrll 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2010

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    The Wall... I have a wall you cannot see

    Because its deep inside of me. It blocks my heart on every side And helps emotions there to hide. You cant reach in, I cant reach out, You wonder what its all about. The wall i built that you cant see Results from insecurity. Each time my tender heart was hurt...
    submissivelittlewoman submissivelittlewoman 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 14, 2014

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    Pink Floyd's "the Wall"

    To me this album was about someone who was hurt for most of their life. This person became numb to the world and everyone within. He withdrew into the walls of his mind and eventually went insane and craved the contact from the outside world. I have been in many relationships...
    Phreeek Phreeek 26-30 Jul 19, 2011

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    I Won´t Disturb the Slumber of Feelings That Have Died

    A  winter´s day In a deep and dark December I am alone, Gazing from my window to the streets below On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island. I´ve built walls, A fortress deep and mighty, That none may penetrate. I have no...
    underconstruction underconstruction 41-45, F 12 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    Why Would U Want To Tho

    yes, i try to keep my heart locked away, its been broken so often there is not much left, but if u try if u really want to u just might succed , i may let u in. but why would u want to, when there is barely anything left of me.
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Nov 13, 2009

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    Love

    i let u in , u knew how alone i felt. i believed the lies u spoke, i thought this time its going to be allright. but like all the rest, u never even tried once u had me, u threw my feelings aside. i look at u know, n i wonder how, was i such a fool, to believe in love once again...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    No More Pain

    if i could lock up my heart (so to speak),so as not to let anyone hurt me again, i would. my heart has been broke so many times, i will never be whole again. i let people in , but only a few. i now i will be hurt again, its a part of life. but now i guard my feelings, n i have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    I Am The Opposite Way....

    ...I am completely vulnerable, and I get hurt too easily. I have a great deal of love to share, but I can't seem to share it anywhere. I get attached to someone, and set my heart upon them - and them alone - and when I feel like I might lose them, or when I am reminded of all...
    BonVie BonVie 41-45, M 4 Responses Jun 26, 2011

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    Well, Sometimes

    But the damn thing keeps getting broken down. In late 2004, I mentally constructed a high wall of stone which I was in, and that no one could get through. How foolish it feels to keep vowing this, and having it crumbled again by the right words.
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 26, 2009

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    Made Of Stone

    My skin is ice. My heart is stone. My blood is lead. My voice is cold. My brain is metal. My eyes so dark its like staring into death. No kindness can get past all of my defences.No words of love or care could enter my heart of stone. No warth of a persons touch could melt the...
    RebalLover RebalLover 16-17, F Mar 21, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I am so very heart broken. I genuinely thought I found someone who was different. Someone who wanted to have the silly random conversations and who was respectful and sweet. We...
    mehear mehear 18-21, F 1 hr ago

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    I met this guy freshman year of highschool and I had to sit next to him in one class for a few months. He started staring at me a lot, and then he started drawing me pictures. At...
    xKatlyn xKatlyn 18-21, F 1 hr ago

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    i have an eating disorder--ednos as they call it, but it mainly affects my self esteem. i eat too much, then i go the rest of the day without eating. i see myself in the mirror as...
    cosmosdrift cosmosdrift 31-35, F 1 hr ago

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    that is what oxybutyn is for! but, I found out mine was caused from an overgrowth of candida. since I have detoxed my body, my incontinence has cleared up, greatly. if your are...
    StreetgirlnamedDesire504 StreetgirlnamedDesire504 36-40 2 hrs ago

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    I can like make up random scenarios by just sitting and staring at a wall.
    LFMB LFMB 13-15, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    Tonight, I am feeling nostalgic about EP. I know it seems dumb, but I am missing the way things used to be. I remember, about 2-3 years ago, when EP was filled with banter, fun...
    MediumGangsta24 MediumGangsta24 26-30, F 6 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I've always loved the sound and feel of my own heart beating, whether it's slowly, softly beating at rest as it sustains my life or rapidly and powerfully slamming against my chest...
    alphaomega95 alphaomega95 18-21, F 5 hrs ago

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    Why don't you care about me? What is so wrong with me? What do I have to change about myself to get you to stay? Why did you do this to me? Why did you act like you liked me, if...
    iSpyce iSpyce 26-30, F 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I need and want a huge belly
    wolfy1023 wolfy1023 16-17, F 6 hrs ago

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    When I was about three years old my mother beat me so hard I remember she put vaseline on my bum because it was so red. When I was older I got to pick which belt I was going to be...
    BenBrin BenBrin 36-40, M 2 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    When was the last time you cried? Not because of a movie or series you were watching, not because of a book you are reading, but cry because you couldn't keep the feelings inside...
    TheMisanthropeOtaku TheMisanthropeOtaku 18-21, M 14 hrs ago

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    I wish I wouldn´t have a heart so nobody could hurt me again.
    Loretta78 Loretta78 36-40, F 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    Most people on EP find this very hard to believe, but I promise you all that I have no friends outside of EP lol. Literally, I have none, nada, zip, zilch, zero. If I were to die...
    PrinceStrawHat PrinceStrawHat 18-21, M 7 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I know people say "We Are human and we make mistakes" but everyday, I think about the things I've done in the past. I've tried to be someone I wasn't, hung around with the wrong...
    WeirdOtaku WeirdOtaku 18-21, F 5 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    I will have to write later. But I was in a 3 yr relationship with a man who was physically abusive. He would literally pin me down on the bed & threaten to kill me. He would have...
    Bluetangerine Bluetangerine 46-50, F 22 hrs ago

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    I have school tomorrow and i really dont want to go because i have to face a girl who almost drove my best friend to suicide on purpose TWICE yet she still tries to convince us to...
    tragician tragician 13-15, F 1 day ago

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    I have so much built up anger and resentment towards many. Yet I can never express myself, ever, because I don't want to make people feel hurt. Therefore I hurt myself more. Ugh...
    Whatsmystory Whatsmystory 26-30, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    if I told people that I am bipolar and have PTSD from childhood traumas, and military traumas would they want to know me... Or would they politely exit stage left once they found...
    harleyblu73 harleyblu73 41-45, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I am a 17 year old girl, and i suffer from severe BDD. It all started with my nose. One day i looked in the mirror( i was 13) and i just had a moment of self realisation and...
    Beyhivehoney Beyhivehoney 16-17, F 5 days ago

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    Even if we no longer dance, will you always consider me yours? I was that different one; The one who got too close and caused such storms within you. Protective and possessive...
    NoLightOfMyOwn NoLightOfMyOwn 41-45, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Not the biggest but not getting any smaller either. Also I don't mind having big moobs
    chubbyhubby250 chubbyhubby250 36-40, M a week ago

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    i like men that have moobs :)
    Shaunmay Shaunmay 22-25, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    I am a 68 year old business man in Ireland. One year ago I was diagnosed with Atrial Afib with long pauses.I acatually fell and had a bang on the back of my skull. My CT was...
    DEMO1947 DEMO1947 66-70, M Aug 25

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    My dad controls my life, and he enjoys it. He belittles me, insults me, makes me feel insecure about myself. He gets angry over small things and I feel like i'm always walking on...
    Mayurichi Mayurichi 13-15, T Aug 24