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I Have a Huge Wall Up Around My Heart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 164 People

    I Am The Opposite Way....

    ...I am completely vulnerable, and I get hurt too easily. I have a great deal of love to share, but I can't seem to share it anywhere. I get attached to someone, and set my heart upon them - and them alone - and when I feel like I might lose them, or when I am reminded of all...
    BonVie BonVie 41-45, M 4 Responses Jun 26, 2011

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    Do Walls Shut Out Others Or Imprison the One Who Builds Them?

    What a gift to have a kind and caring heart!  Yet, kind and caring hearts can and do ultimately risk being broken...intentionally or accidentally.  Sometimes the pieces can be put back together again and the heart mended...sometimes, the wound is primal and perhaps...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 27, 2009

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    Pink Floyd's "the Wall"

    To me this album was about someone who was hurt for most of their life. This person became numb to the world and everyone within. He withdrew into the walls of his mind and eventually went insane and craved the contact from the outside world. I have been in many relationships...
    Phreeek Phreeek 26-30 Jul 19, 2011

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    How My Wall Works

    I very rarely make a close friend. Rarely ever. I see what a person is like by getting to know them, but never letting them know me. This wall is a challenge for those who claim they can love anyone. I push people away, and block them from seeing me. If the person can pick up on...
    SmilesGoForMiles SmilesGoForMiles 16-17, M Dec 16, 2012

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    I Won´t Disturb the Slumber of Feelings That Have Died

    A  winter´s day In a deep and dark December I am alone, Gazing from my window to the streets below On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island. I´ve built walls, A fortress deep and mighty, That none may penetrate. I have no...
    underconstruction underconstruction 41-45, F 12 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    The Bigest Wall

    I have many walls around my heart when people hurt me . it takes alot for me to put up my walls .
    lunnas lunnas 41-45, F Dec 22, 2009

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    Life

    i would let u in, but am to afraid. u tell me all the things i want to hear. its to much like a game. so i close my heart off to try n shield out the pain. all i want is 4 just one man to prove to me he is different from the rest. n i would let him in.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    Love

    i will let u in, i know my hearts been broke oh , so many times before. but am still willing to take a chance. if only i could find the love am looking 4.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 30, 2009

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    Love

    i let u in , u knew how alone i felt. i believed the lies u spoke, i thought this time its going to be allright. but like all the rest, u never even tried once u had me, u threw my feelings aside. i look at u know, n i wonder how, was i such a fool, to believe in love once again...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    Berlin? Meh! Call That A Wall?

      It separates the Palestinians from the Israelis, 600km of steel reinforced concrete, 12m high... A wall? Pah! It's a three thousand kilometre stone fence linking a series of armed fortresses, keeping the forbidden kingdom safe from the marauding barbarian hordes... Great...
    amberdextrous amberdextrous 51-55, M 3 Responses Nov 14, 2009

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    If Only

    can u promise me u will love ME?will u hold me close when i need to feel anothers touch? will u promise me to never turn away from me?i can promise u all that n so much more. if only love like that was real.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 4, 2009

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    The Wall... I have a wall you cannot see

    Because its deep inside of me. It blocks my heart on every side And helps emotions there to hide. You cant reach in, I cant reach out, You wonder what its all about. The wall i built that you cant see Results from insecurity. Each time my tender heart was hurt...
    submissivelittlewoman submissivelittlewoman 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 14

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    Why Would U Want To Tho

    yes, i try to keep my heart locked away, its been broken so often there is not much left, but if u try if u really want to u just might succed , i may let u in. but why would u want to, when there is barely anything left of me.
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Nov 13, 2009

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    Wall Around My Heart

    I've built this wall around my heart, and slowly over time. With every loss that I endure, higher and higher it climbs. A fortress shielding me from pain, nobody can break through. You met me at it's highest point, this is so unfair to you. My wall was built to hide the scars...
    adorablefreak adorablefreak 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2010

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    Made Of Stone

    My skin is ice. My heart is stone. My blood is lead. My voice is cold. My brain is metal. My eyes so dark its like staring into death. No kindness can get past all of my defences.No words of love or care could enter my heart of stone. No warth of a persons touch could melt the...
    RebalLover RebalLover 13-15, F Mar 21, 2013

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    Well, Sometimes

    But the damn thing keeps getting broken down. In late 2004, I mentally constructed a high wall of stone which I was in, and that no one could get through. How foolish it feels to keep vowing this, and having it crumbled again by the right words.
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 26, 2009

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    No More Pain

    if i could lock up my heart (so to speak),so as not to let anyone hurt me again, i would. my heart has been broke so many times, i will never be whole again. i let people in , but only a few. i now i will be hurt again, its a part of life. but now i guard my feelings, n i have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Troubles

    Ever since last year when the one girl that I met on my own with out having anyone introduce me to her betrayed me I haven't been able to open up to anyone new. I made no new friends, but some acquaintances that I play sports with time to time to keep me sane. Today one of my...
    WinterWisper WinterWisper 22-25 Apr 22, 2013

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    Ouch.

    I've been analyzing this for a pretty long tiem and yes, fianlly realozed that i have built an impenetrabel wall around me. My friends? All women. So what guys do i get along with? My bros. And that's only because i have huge blackmail bombs hanging on their personal lives...
    dearstranger dearstranger 18-21, F Jun 2, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    These walls were built for my protection to take your affection and run. I've tried to care but I'm surrounded my hearts there but you won't find it so move on...
    Missmonroe95 Missmonroe95 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 9

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    Well, this story if full of pain, and I'll be true to the thoughts and emotions that I felt at the time. Let me preface this though, with that while not full recovered, I am much...
    Anex61636 Anex61636 26-30, M Oct 4

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    I am having a major freak out, supposed to be seeing my old best friend tomorrow, haven't seen him properly for 3 years before we both got married, I know his wife doesn't like me...
    poshbarbie poshbarbie 26-30, F Oct 18

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    Ok so four days ago it happened. Nurse came into my ward and told me they had a potential donor again and the team were on their way to assess it, just like the first time. Only...
    InstantCustard InstantCustard 26-30, M 2 Responses Oct 16

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    He is so adorable when he's tired and so cute when he sleeps!!! <3 I just wish I didn't have to do this to us... I care about you but it it will make your life easier I am...
    LostBoy9236 LostBoy9236 22-25, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    All my life, every single friend I've ever had growing up has eventually told me that they were just hanging out with me because they felt sorry for me, or for whatever reason they...
    VeteranSoulSeeker VeteranSoulSeeker 26-30, M 1 Response Oct 10

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    you make me like this.. :) i like it now .. i wouldn't get hurt anymore.. hahahaha!
    emily036 emily036 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 13

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    I'm am a bit afraid of what I am doing to myself... I don't think I can handle the pain of this...
    LostBoy9236 LostBoy9236 22-25, M 6 days ago

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    Encased in bone sometimes :p..but still very kind.
    khewster khewster 31-35, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I can't help but to feel like a failure... Chandelier by Sia
    LostBoy9236 LostBoy9236 22-25, M 14 hrs ago

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    I am in my early 20's, recently graduated college and I am friendless. Unfortunately, this isn't something that just dawned on me now.. I have realized this for a while ...5 years...
    Mela22 Mela22 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 15

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    It's hard being an emotional person because every little thing tends to affect me. Some times I feel like a human sponge as I soak in all the good and bad vibes from people. I...
    Susana1985 Susana1985 26-30, F 4 Responses Oct 12

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    The Cure-Charlotte Sometimes http://youtu.be/oKWctuLgPP0 Charlotte sometimes crying for herself Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself But it's always with love With so...
    allycatii allycatii 36-40, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    My Time With "Hermey" .........I had the pleasure of meeting former EPer Hermey, who stayed at my home for two days. From the first hug as he walked up the driveway, to our goodbye...
    Kathieredart Kathieredart 56-60, F 7 Responses Oct 1

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    **** all the guys that have ****** me around and used me! I'm sick of being there ******* puppet! Im a woman with my own choices! I need to find myself a good man!
    wannaplay122 wannaplay122 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 12

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    fall for whomever you want, love with all your heart and be happier than those who try to tear you apart. damn I could be a poet, only kidding but seriously my parents have been...
    Dispense Dispense 18-21, F 12 Responses 6 days ago

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    Her eyes the deepest most beautiful and soulful things I have ever seen. My heart skips a beat a flutter of feelings rush over me Smitten by just her picture knowing her now more...
    rainyraven rainyraven 31-35, T 1 Response 6 days ago

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    No one can say I have a dumb stupid heart just because I have a big fat belly. There has to be a reason why so many customers love me where I work
    BigRalphie74 BigRalphie74 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 3

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    If my wife (if I had one) ever asked me if love her with all my heart, I would reply, "No, because I can't just have you in my heart but also myself, my family, and all those who...
    TheTofuMaster TheTofuMaster 22-25, M 1 Response Oct 20

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    I have always been curious and have always looked around. Even when I was young and in swimming lessons. I would take very quick glances and wonder why I didnt look normal. I use...
    swimguy0812 swimguy0812 22-25, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    It's been a year since I have known this smart,unpredictable, funny, bitchy (damn), toughie, hard working, crazy, and insanely beautiful lady. She reminded me of the kind of...
    LightsinMotion LightsinMotion 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 11

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    For a long timevI have been pushed around by people, I didn't know what I wanted nor what I ment or thought. All I did was smiling and nodding, cuse I thought that would help me...
    thetallgirl thetallgirl 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 15

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    As you may have seen on my other posts, I feel more dragon than human. I have finally found out why. Species dysphoria is where you don't feel like you're in the right body, kind...
    VolcanoTheDragon VolcanoTheDragon 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 16

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    I've only ever had two friends, currently only one of them is still in my life. I find that I can dedicate the time that they deserve to them, and that I can become closer to them...
    msharleenquinzel msharleenquinzel 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 21

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    I'm supposed to go visit my parents today and stay there for a few days. But I'm feeling really nervous. I'm curled up in a ball inside a crawl space at home and don't want to move...
    SimiRayea SimiRayea 22-25, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I am 21 and honestly I most likely wouldn't tell anyone that I haven't kissed a girl... It feels kind of embarrassing. Not sure if I should feel that way maybe there are other...
    Liljuniorjr Liljuniorjr 18-21, M 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    This time around last year, I met this guy. We were seniors in high school. We used to hang out every day in lunch. We would talk and text every day. On my birthday, he took me out...
    galvangirl galvangirl 16-17, F 5 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    I am in my mid twenties and just got married. My husband is the most supportive, loving, and loyal person who accepts all my flaws. I couldn't ask for a better partner. However, I...
    xl2368 xl2368 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 20

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    So after 9 years of emotional torture "we are gonna be together", "I'm not ready", "I messed up I want you back" (after I just wed) TO after you wed "I'm not happy, I want you to...
    SuzanneTS SuzanneTS 31-35, F 9 hrs ago

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    This is the job that all home owners dread; these people either have never done any decorating or have some idea of decorating but not a great deal. So this is a huge job for the...
    edr567 edr567 26-30, M