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I Have A Joke Of The Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 7 People

    My Cute Neighbour ...

    She's single...She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door ... I rushed to open it. She looks...
    smartlove007 smartlove007 41-45, M 3 Responses Oct 16, 2012

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    The Doctor's Day Off

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Good One !

    I just tried to upload a picture of my Cat that I had written a story about. Since I had to delete my account before, I have not posted any pics and forgot that they needed to be re-sized and made smaller While I was trying I see in small letters underneath (no nudity...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 11, 2011

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    A Woman's Week At The Gym

    This humour – which I found in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats

    and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two...
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I'm Going To Get In Trouble Over This One . . . But . . .

    I'm going to get in trouble over this one . . . Then again . . .
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

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    Forget What I Just Said.

    This is the story of a poor ditzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day "May Day!  May Day!  Help me!  Help me!  My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly.  Help...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Dec 4, 2012

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    The Electric Fence

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared. We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    Of course it's only self diagnosed. But, I'm 99.9% sure I have it. It's not even about labeling. It's about finding people out there who go through the same thing as me and seeing...
    Emeryemmy Emeryemmy 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 19

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    10th March 2008, 30th January 2010, 6th March 2012, 21st August 2014 and 25th January 2015. Worst days of my life, to date. Today I have no confidence, feel embarrassed to be me...
    Nexile90 Nexile90 22-25, M 2 days ago

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    My dream is to prove everyone wrong. My goal is for everyone's eyes to be wide open with their expressions on their faces full of surprise and their mouths wide open. I'll...
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    If I had one wish; I would wish for everyone to have a good life. To not have to worry about paying their next bill, or to go out or stay in, or to deal with any negatively...
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F Jan 1

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    But today wasn't too shabby at all. I didn't think about him nearly as much and when I did it was less sharp. I got to rescue my little girl from class early. I got to play my...
    ZombieBaitMaiden ZombieBaitMaiden 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 6

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    I only found out today that this actually exists. I am so relieved that im not the only one, I actually fell into tears. im so scared because I want to confront my dad, however I...
    DollyDoobs DollyDoobs 13-15, F 3 Responses Jan 15

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    Not too long ago, I read my first article on maladaptive daydreaming and immediately realized that it was the "quirk" in my brain that I'd never exactly found a fitting term for...
    shemeantyonoharm991 shemeantyonoharm991 22-25, F Jan 1

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    i heard this one on a cartoon. so a lady goes to the doctors office and the doctor said "well ma'am i have bad news and horrible news" the lady replied "oh dear" the doctor said...
    dlperson dlperson 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 15

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    Go home, log onto Facebook, and like Chuck Norris. You have 3 days.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 8

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    so basically I was always really imaginative as a child I don't remember doing it as a kid cause I was very active and into sports and I also used to write a lot of stories. then...
    myownconsultant myownconsultant 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 6

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    i think i have maladaptive daydreaming, at first i really dont believe that i have but when i started reaserching about this behaviour i changed my mind. It started when i was 5...
    superjac superjac 13-15, F 4 Responses Jan 17

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    I have my days where I just don't feel like doing anything with anyone and stay in my PJs all day. So comfortable! Now if I could get out of chores free card like the monopoly get...
    laurenstone97 laurenstone97 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 2

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    I am so relieved to finally put a name to this alternate universe that has existed in my mind for as long as i can remember. I have experienced these elaborate daydreams since...
    dunnitz dunnitz 31-35, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Some days are a lot to handle, almost too much. I have been in such a good path, I have come so far in fighting this, I don't want to have these days anymore.
    redwolfmoon redwolfmoon 22-25, M Dec 30, 2014

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    Ever have those days where, you can eat anything and not feel full? but then you have those days where, you get full so fast? or you dont wanna eat? ...
    BananaSmoothiee BananaSmoothiee 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 5

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    always have bad days on the week of the 14 of January. don't know why. maybe in my head like I am looking for it. sigh soon will be over.
    serendipitousone serendipitousone 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 13

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    I NEEED to get three times bigger. I meant 4, 5, 6, 7 times bigger. Then i'll start my journey of becoming a true blubber boy! More fat, more fun More burps, harder **** Hard...
    HugeKid HugeKid 16-17, M 3 Responses Jan 16

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    for like 3 years i have had day ones. i always did when i am sleeping since i was little
    steven0502 steven0502 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 18

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    i have been daydreaming like this for as long as i can remember so i cant really say if it stems from a trauma or some sort of repressed memory but when it happens the dreams are...
    cose cose 16-17, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    http://tinypic.com/r/n6dz0j/8 When I have hair days like this that make me obsess over a mirror, that's when I love my long hair lol Time to go to the gym :)
    stellag23 stellag23 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 29, 2014

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    For those who want to know I do have a real illness I'm currently in a lot of pain with in my stomach on the Middle right side and it could be caused by alcohol poisoning or 9...
    demiLee94 demiLee94 18-21, T 1 Response Jan 6

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    I am father to two young children and married to a woman who has been abusing pain medication for three years that I know of. For the last year or more I have turned a blind eye...
    XVIFlaviaFirma XVIFlaviaFirma 36-40, M 3 Responses Jan 18

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    Little Jane comes home from her first day at school. Mommy says "Jane, how was your first day?" Jane says, " it was good Mommy, little johnny showed me his wee wee"! The mother...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    The best thing about life is that we will never be stuck in the same day. We can wake up and fix or improve what we didn't like the day before. WE have the power to change our...
    CBlaze22 CBlaze22 18-21 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    A Halloween joke Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties? Because there is lots of school spirit! A demon joke What do foreign devils speak? Devil Dutch! A ghost joke What...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jan 12

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    I couldn't be happier!! I had a beautiful day.Good night,sweet friends. Hope you guys have a lovely day!!
    juryandrews juryandrews 31-35, F 2 hrs ago

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    I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. Believe me I tried. I closed my eyes real tight and said, alright, lets turn on the waterworks. And waited. I thought of my situation and new...
    rustyskills rustyskills 41-45, M 35 mins ago

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    This is a favorite joke of mine. Enjoy. Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, Mary my wife...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 8 Responses Dec 29, 2014

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    i was talking to the guy i sit next to in class the other day and doing basic stuff like making fun of the teacher and i showed him some jokes i played on my freinds but then out...
    kacey5533 kacey5533 13-15, M Jan 8

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    One day three people were standing in front of the president Obama during a town hall meeting. John, weighs about 140 pounds. James, weighs about 150 pounds. Codi weighs 243 pounds...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    it has gotten pretty bad it's out of control i use **** a lot ,and if i don't i get all restless and anxious and panicky and confused and disconnected . i get some kind of...
    AndeleAndele AndeleAndele 18-21, M 5 hrs ago

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    A pastor, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. Among the speakers were many well known and...
    lovingCuteSmartGirl lovingCuteSmartGirl 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 4

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    As I was taking a walk with my daughter one day, I noticed something green in her hair. To my disbelief I pulled out a piece of lettuce from her hair. “Whoa!” she exclaimed...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    Stupid jokes can have me laughing all day lol.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 31, 2014

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    When I first had symptoms, I was freaking out and searching the internet just like a lot of other people probably did. It was a very bad idea, all it did was make me feel scared...
    MRA12 MRA12 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 9

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    I haven't been diagnosed with a specific eating disorder. My doctors just like ehhyeahhh dere is someting vrong wit yerr appetite little miss. no ****. I go 2-3 days forgetting...
    Minnowshi Minnowshi 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 12

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    there is this girl in my class who tells me every day more than one time to go die or that no one needs me and I should just die. I hate how she laughs about it and acts like it's...
    Silentsuffer Silentsuffer 13-15, F 7 Responses Jan 18

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