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I Have A Joke Of The Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6 People

    The Doctor's Day Off

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Good One !

    I just tried to upload a picture of my Cat that I had written a story about. Since I had to delete my account before, I have not posted any pics and forgot that they needed to be re-sized and made smaller While I was trying I see in small letters underneath (no nudity...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 11, 2011

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    Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

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    A Woman's Week At The Gym

    This humour – which I found in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    The Electric Fence

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared. We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Forget What I Just Said.

    This is the story of a poor ditzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day "May Day!  May Day!  Help me!  Help me!  My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly.  Help...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Dec 4, 2012

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    My Cute Neighbour ...

    She's single...She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door ... I rushed to open it. She looks...
    smartlove007 smartlove007 41-45, M 3 Responses Oct 16, 2012

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    I'm Going To Get In Trouble Over This One . . . But . . .

    I'm going to get in trouble over this one . . . Then again . . .
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    i wake up some days , not knowing what to do... what to keep going for .. it all come back to me a feeling of loosing everything .. that feeling i had.. were i did not want to...
    33houtx 33houtx 31-35, M Sep 28

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    Ohgod can this day get any worse? I woke up feeling happy and ready to rock the day. But first my friend hit me on the nose by accident and I got nosebleed, then I got a D on a...
    ParkerFewer ParkerFewer 13-15, F 4 Responses Sep 30

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    So my most recent bad day was pretty much a dozy, I was coming back from Vacation with my brother an a friend in Austin, Texas an I was currently living in Dallas , but was going...
    cmsullivan cmsullivan 22-25, M Oct 15

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    You tell me if I have a bad day then I shouldn't let it out on other people. Then you have a bad day and your raining on everyone's parade... Talk about hypocrite 😑 My bad days...
    marilynnrox marilynnrox 18-21, F a week ago

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    Today was a very bad day .
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I try to remain positive on my bad days.What I don't like is staying away from family on festivals.That seems like a bad day to me.
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 2 days ago

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    I'm having a bad day. Or rather two. I guess I was keeping everything together the past two weeks. A lot has been going on with my dad being sick. Everyone in my family worrying...
    synergist synergist 22-25, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    i can sense my rating shifting from "Harmless" to "Mostly Harmless" At this rate I will end up in Guacamole Bay
    dontcareforlabels dontcareforlabels 41-45, M Sep 24

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    Today.....I feel sick to my stomach. I just want to burst out crying and scream at the same time. I wish I had someone to talk to
    trb1008 trb1008 16-17, F 3 Responses Oct 13

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    I've been feeling like **** all week and like I'm a downer to all my friends but I don't know how to tell them the reasons why I'm down either because I don't want to bother them...
    lokiirs lokiirs 16-17, F Oct 16

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    No, I don't always have bad days. I just tend to write more on my bad days. And today's one of 'em. I'm trying to just relax & sluff it off. Mildly hoping it'll get better. Just...
    saundra04 saundra04 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 6

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    No matter how good or bad your day was or has become I want you to have a better day today and tomorrow until times ends and if it doesn't then, well, have nice days forever.
    Thaiyeng Thaiyeng 13-15, M 3 days ago

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    I hope you all have a day as bright as your smiles :D
    marilynnrox marilynnrox 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 1

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    Freedom have the day off :) sweet Message me of you do to...
    Sincerely77 Sincerely77 36-40, F Oct 9

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    Since starting my own business 2 months ago, my anxiety has calmed down so much and I'm shocked what I've been able to do! It's also helped with my depression and I don't self harm...
    SecretGirl14 SecretGirl14 18-21, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    My friend Christine and her mother, keep making up terrible jokes about flowers. I’m getting really fed up of Chris and her mum. ...or maybe this is better, because it's multi...
    RicRaver RicRaver 41-45, M 3 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    suicide doesn't seem too much of a joke to me :/
    isohatetheworld isohatetheworld 13-15, F 8 hrs ago

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    OMG , this is too funny !!!!!! Ok , I am European who grew up with middle eastern music , I'm totally mixed so I'm not really one or the other , but one thing is for sure my music...
    MaKogaJeBriga MaKogaJeBriga 36-40, F 5 hrs ago

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    I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). I've always had a very sensitive digestive system, but it became really bad in 2010-2011. It was triggered because I had severe depression...
    spacepixie spacepixie 22-25, F 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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    A professor was known for making rude sexist jokes during lectures. There was this group of young women who hated it and were well put off by it. One day they decided that the next...
    Ladygrey79 Ladygrey79 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 8

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    Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives. Joke Disclaimer: This humor does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or...
    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 12 Responses Sep 30

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    I am in my mid twenties and just got married. My husband is the most supportive, loving, and loyal person who accepts all my flaws. I couldn't ask for a better partner. However, I...
    xl2368 xl2368 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Monday is named after the moon-day Tuesday- Tiw's day,Norse God of war Wednesday-Wodin's day.Norse God Thursday-Thor's day.Norse God of thunder. Friday-Frejya's day,Norse Goddess...
    Enlightener Enlightener 18-21, M 3 Responses 57 mins ago

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    Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Sep 26

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    I Miss Them 1. My children most of all. Nothing could top this list besides them. They're my heart and soul and the reason I still breath. They're my world I have no world without...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 6

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    I know many of my friends know what a crazy life I lead.... But I just wanted to write it, so maybe, In future days, when things settle down.. I can look back ... And think .. Oh...
    expressomarkie expressomarkie 46-50, M 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    I have a friend who I will call Marie for privacy's sake. We have known each other for 15 years. I met Marie through her boyfriend at the time who happened to be my billiards...
    AnAutumnWind AnAutumnWind 36-40, M 4 hrs ago

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    I am a dreamer, not only very vivid dreams at night (like watching a movie alone) but random day dreaming during the day. About anything, but most of the time, my future. I'll have...
    brithom brithom 18-21, F 16 hrs ago

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    My brothers are all practical jokers, and as I grew up at home it was joke after joke with them. I like humour, and to hear jokes and little twisted riddles is very much good fun...
    Skjeggstad Skjeggstad 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 8

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    Best joke from New Zealand Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for Six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He...
    LockieLeonard LockieLeonard 46-50, M 2 Responses Oct 13

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    I daydream excessively. They aren't just short daydreams either. I go on for days with the same story going on in my mind. It's always the same people I daydream about too. Not...
    jessyjessxx jessyjessxx 18-21, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    While driving home from work one day, I was eating an apple. It wasn't until I tossed the core out the window that the police car came up behind me. The officer pulled me...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 1 Response Oct 8

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    Not too long ago a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the speakers were many well known motivational speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 16

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    Donkey Skin; she gained her nickname on the third day since she moved in. OG moved out and She moved in taking his room. Such a schoolgirl... wearing boyish jumper, long blond...
    redribbonbook redribbonbook 46-50 16 hrs ago

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    Now of course I don't make jokes deliberately aimed at a particular person. These are jokes about society or life in all it's glory. Anyone that's alive has at least a small share...
    dontcareforlabels dontcareforlabels 41-45, M Sep 24

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    Right I dot care of every time I come on this website something happens I need to rant about this **** I HAVE A VERY HIGH TOLERANCE LEVEL BUT WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT...
    shadowgem shadowgem 13-15, F Oct 1

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    To tell the truth I try to not let what other people say get to me. I've been trying, but I just can't. Words still hurt. I can't help it I'm highly sensitive and most people just...
    TheSpookyPotato TheSpookyPotato 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 10

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    I find that I have a light and dark side; and good and a bad side. Some people say that I have "mood swings" or I might be "that" time of the month. My mom has even sat me down and...
    xCherryCola xCherryCola 13-15, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I have scars, which came after from some kind of infection. Its facial scars, on both sides of my cheeks. Its over 5 years ago now, and I still struggle with them. The worst part...
    melikebacon melikebacon 22-25, M 10 hrs ago