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I Have A Joke Of The Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5 People

    The Doctor's Day Off

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Good One !

    I just tried to upload a picture of my Cat that I had written a story about. Since I had to delete my account before, I have not posted any pics and forgot that they needed to be re-sized and made smaller While I was trying I see in small letters underneath (no nudity...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 11, 2011

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    The Electric Fence

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared. We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Forget What I Just Said.

    This is the story of a poor ditzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day "May Day!  May Day!  Help me!  Help me!  My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly.  Help...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Dec 4, 2012

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    Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

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    A Woman's Week At The Gym

    This humour – which I found in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    I'm Going To Get In Trouble Over This One . . . But . . .

    I'm going to get in trouble over this one . . . Then again . . .
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    My Cute Neighbour ...

    She's single...She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door ... I rushed to open it. She looks...
    smartlove007 smartlove007 41-45, M 3 Responses Oct 16, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    When I was just a baby my parents have told me that I did this thing we call "flapping", where I would sit in my high chair and flap my arms around and rock back and forth. It...
    pretendingagain pretendingagain 13-15, F Aug 23

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    I have Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (MDD). I've discovered it recently and it was quite a shock for me, to actually put words on something that I thought was normal to me since...
    RichardAndon RichardAndon 22-25, M 6 days ago

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    I have maladaptive daydreaming disorder. It's really weird and it makes me feel suicidal and retarded but I'm getting used to it now :)
    LanaLover LanaLover 13-15, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I started daydreaming when I was really young, I was about four maybe five. My best friend and I used to watch a show together and we'd act it out, and make up our own scenarios...
    MaladaptiveDayDreamer MaladaptiveDayDreamer 13-15, F Aug 28

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    So much built up tension was released the other day, i had so much going round in my head and it had to all come out. I have sat for 15 years and observed, and listened and taken...
    Gentleandlovingsoul Gentleandlovingsoul 36-40, F a week ago

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    I've had maladaptive daydreaming since I was 9. My fantasies have always been about celebrities and people I've made up. They are mostly sexual,funny, and family oriented. I've...
    AnonymousDaydreamer AnonymousDaydreamer 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 27

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    I was having a ton of bad days. And I really thought whoaa noooo this streak isn't going to end. It was awful. But I'm on my second good one. So it does end. I love my sister for...
    synergist synergist 22-25, F Aug 31

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    I'm having a bad day. Week. Month. Year. LIFE.
    tianajade tianajade 18-21, F 10 Responses a week ago

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    I think my bad days are about to start again . I don't know how to get over it
    Johnnystha Johnnystha 26-30, M 2 days ago

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    I thought today was a good day ! Until I saw that 1 persons face ! Ugh have you ever just gotten in a bad mood, just by looking at someone ?
    bluegirlie98 bluegirlie98 13-15, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Im 14 years old and I have had maladaptive dreaming for a while although I only just found out, I don't even remember when it started. I usually start dreaming whenever I have...
    Shadow0173 Shadow0173 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I am just in a miserable mood today and no reason for it. Snap out of it.....
    Dlgadlga Dlgadlga 51-55, M Sep 3

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    Assistant: "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?" Boss: "Certainly not!" Assistant: "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."
    lovingCuteSmartGirl lovingCuteSmartGirl 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 27

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    I have busy day ahead,have trouble to start,rumors to spread and people to argue with.....hehe
    dawnordusk dawnordusk 31-35, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    i was always sad and angry when i was a kid and thought of suicide has been constantly on my mind. the earliest i can remember i can remember was when i was 9 years old. i don't...
    bhabhablacksheep bhabhablacksheep 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 1

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    Hello there fellow daydreamers. I have recently discovered that I have Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder. Actually I've had it as far as I can think of. My parents often tell me how...
    RichardAndon RichardAndon 22-25, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I have my days if badness and those days you better stay clear of me but I also have my days of greatness on those days you better talk toe
    livelovehopefree livelovehopefree 13-15, F 21 hrs ago

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    I was abused all my life...physically , mentally , verbally...all of it . I was constantly put down and told I am simply not good enough and I will never be good enough , weather...
    Justwanttotalk40 Justwanttotalk40 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 10

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    Yes I'm having a horrible day .. Got into it with my whole family I hate arguing with the people I love.. I'm lost I pray to have better days God help me to find my way. .
    BeautynBrains4 BeautynBrains4 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    The last two weeks I've only had one day to myself, this has been such a busy summer. I volunteered at a summer camp for a month, served at my church quite a bit, and done various...
    TheSongPlaysWithin TheSongPlaysWithin 16-17, F Aug 19

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    I know that I've been mad in love before and how it could be with you, really hurt me baby, really cut me baby How can have a day without a night? You're the book that I have...
    femketje femketje 22-25 2 Responses a week ago

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    My name is spencer I'm 20 years old and I have sickle cell anemia. It's something I've come to terms with. I have my days when I feel fine, other days I'm in so much pain that I...
    angelface121 angelface121 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    Thinking about changing my username (DisasterLand) to SurrealismLand. Don't know why a stupid username means so much to me but it does. Everyone one of mine has had deep feelings...
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 11

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    I have a friend, a real friend who I can count on. He cares about me for all the right reasons. He helps lift me up even when he's down worse than I am. He makes me feel normal and...
    ThatAwkwardGuy ThatAwkwardGuy 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 3

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    I hate when people who have no clue what real OCD is like, say they have OCD!!!!! Like, oh you gota wash your hands 5 times a day and can't drink after your dog? Well that must be...
    Kayloves060814 Kayloves060814 22-25, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    My friends and I have the weirdest inside-jokes. If anyone ever heard what we joke about we'd be locked in a mental asylum for sure!
    channy205 channy205 16-17, F 4 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    A boy that was being raised in a very religious family asked his mother for a new bike. His mother said, "Son, we pray to Jesus when we want something really badly." So the son...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part...
    DanCan1 DanCan1 56-60, M 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    on someone I met online and skyped with. I feel like it makes no sense because he isn't usually the personality I go for. Usually more shy is what I go for. He is very kind...
    ajrestless ajrestless 18-21, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    Drive-Thru Confessional The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    You know what burns my a s s ? A flame about this high. Wait! This is much funnier if you could see where I have my hand held right now to indicate where exactly the flame would...
    diggler diggler 41-45, M 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    Two men were sitting in a bar and the following conversation took place: MAN 1: I cant takes this any more! MAN 2: What is the matter? MAN 1: My wife cheated on me! MAN 2: That is...
    enriqueclasico enriqueclasico 26-30, M 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    A farmer is walking along side of his house with a chicken under his arm and says this is the pig I have been f-ing his wife puts her head out the window and says that's not a pig...
    rustr8 rustr8 51-55, M 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    How to get this post popular. You just do it. (Note: I'm not really expecting to get this popular its just a joke .-.)
    DysfunctionalPiano DysfunctionalPiano 13-15, F 1 Response 30 mins ago

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    The term Buyers Remorse come up often these days covering everything from products to relationships and politics. Some things go there again and again. The two happiest days of...
    lasergraph lasergraph 61-65, M 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    These past few days.. I haven't any positive thoughts.. that is sad! Today is a new day.... SOOOO... 1, It's hard to keep a person down who always gets back up. 2. I have some...
    MorningBreeze MorningBreeze 56-60, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    my younger sister, 13, has adhd, dyslexia, dyspraxia, severe learning disabilities, and autism. she still plays with toys (pepper pig, ploymobile, ect.) because she has such a low...
    pandoraspromise pandoraspromise 13-15, F Aug 24

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    I don't think I'm ever going to get over it. I woke up and kissed my pillow this morning thinking it was a person, but it wasn't. I'm alone. I miss him, but I could never take him...
    Anonimaninja Anonimaninja 22-25, F 6 Responses Sep 6

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