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I Have A Joke Of The Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6 People

    My Cute Neighbour ...

    She's single...She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door ... I rushed to open it. She looks...
    smartlove007 smartlove007 41-45, M 3 Responses Oct 16, 2012

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    The Doctor's Day Off

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    A Woman's Week At The Gym

    This humour – which I found in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    I'm Going To Get In Trouble Over This One . . . But . . .

    I'm going to get in trouble over this one . . . Then again . . .
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    Good One !

    I just tried to upload a picture of my Cat that I had written a story about. Since I had to delete my account before, I have not posted any pics and forgot that they needed to be re-sized and made smaller While I was trying I see in small letters underneath (no nudity...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 11, 2011

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    Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

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    The Electric Fence

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared. We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Forget What I Just Said.

    This is the story of a poor ditzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day "May Day!  May Day!  Help me!  Help me!  My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly.  Help...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Dec 4, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I started daydreaming at a really young age, I'm not sure when exactly and how it started, All I know is that it grew to become an addiction I can't control. I've always paced...
    Year3thousand Year3thousand 16-17, F Dec 5

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    Spending the day with this little devil god I love his little crazy *** 😍😘
    Itsmarline Itsmarline 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 26

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    Happy Thanksgiving , enjoy your family and friends ... I know I will. Today is a good day no matter what. I woke up happy, thankful and with a full and peaceful <3
    Hellokittybbgrl Hellokittybbgrl 31-35, F Nov 27

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    One of those days where absolutely nothing does right :((
    TheSongPlaysWithin TheSongPlaysWithin 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 1

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    especially today is a bad day... the system of my country is sucks. there are no mercy to weaker people. i am feeling so down right now...no sweet family but abuser...i need to...
    juryandrews juryandrews 31-35, F Dec 2

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    Has anyone been able to overcome their maladaptive daydreaming? I need help, someone please share.
    Significant Significant 26-30 1 Response Dec 9

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    I am not going to lie... I battle with depression. My life has not been easy. Some days I just don't want to get out if bed and today is one of them!!! But I had to work today :-(
    princessalicia princessalicia 22-25, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    i really need to throw my negativety out.. i can't be better today. today is sucks!! i knew it.i shouldn't believed people easily. i did it again...i feel like i am so stupid...
    juryandrews juryandrews 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 8

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    Today is a bad day.... Nothing is going right .. I cannot smile my way Through My Sadness! I cannot carry another feather I will break.. I am home..In my favorite Pyjamas The...
    warriormama warriormama 41-45, F 8 Responses Dec 8

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    Today I'm surprisingly in a good mood. I've even spooked myself of how good of a mood I feel. I haven't been in a good mood in months. Last night I only got 2 hours of sleep and I...
    ShotOfWhisky ShotOfWhisky 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 1

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    Yes!!!! A bubble bath with squirt toys, lavender baby bath wash, music and nobody to bother me... Only thing bad had to wash myself. :( other than that I am a happy girl! Plus I...
    Hellokittybbgrl Hellokittybbgrl 31-35, F Nov 29

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    But things seem to always work themselves out. I'm staying hopeful and trying very hard to stay positive through these rough times.. I'm looking forward to getting the therapy I...
    alliemamabear alliemamabear 18-21, F Dec 2

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    I am so afraid to tell people close to me. what will they think?
    MarissaDreams MarissaDreams 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    HR Manager in Heaven!!! One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Manager was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was greeted by...
    bigboy4chat42 bigboy4chat42 41-45 Dec 9

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    Sometimes I'm so bad ... I don't cross all my 'I's or cross all my 'T's ... I really CAN believe its not butter ... jaywalk ... I fart in a crowded elevator ... I play hooky from...
    stupendusdude stupendusdude 46-50 1 Response Nov 23

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    I try to be anyway. And I do have lots of things to be thankful for. Never on Thanksgiving though. Never on the day that is so dedicated to giving thanks. I just can't. I don't...
    Sarahbellas Sarahbellas 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 23

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    I just got to hang out with him and have fun. I can't really stop smiling. One day, I will beat him a game, one day lol. Maybe we can hang out tomorrow, idk. I hate that the time...
    imgivingupnow imgivingupnow 18-21, F Dec 13

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    I'm a 22 year old mother of 3 beautiful baby's .I was diagnosed with stage 3 nasopharyngeal carcinoma Oct this year .only symptoms lost earring in my right ear and I have enlarged...
    tippyseeg tippyseeg 22-25, F Nov 29

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    So I am currently working a seasonal job that is supposed to be part time. I am now working full time. It's been 3 days, 1 in the back by myself watching training modules, 1 on...
    Nennie86 Nennie86 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 7

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    I've worked nights since 1994. My past few jobs were the night shift. I love it for several reasons, the money is better, fewer bosses, more interesting coworkers plus I have the...
    SilverPagan SilverPagan 51-55, M 2 Responses Nov 23

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    The dad to my 2 girls is dang near worthless. He has a court order for child support and thinks that that is enough. The $ amount of the order isn't an issue, but he owes back...
    PaisleyParks PaisleyParks 31-35, F Dec 8

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    We've been online friends for over a year now. We've spoken on the phone a dozen times. For many months we'd message all day using various sites and apps. We hit it off from the...
    breathingbox breathingbox 70+, M 4 hrs ago

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    An old story from the pages of the Manchester Evening Times: Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading for Salford station leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 2 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    When you try telling a joke and start laughing to much before you can finish the joke cuz really it's funny
    lloydieboi14 lloydieboi14 18-21, M 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    PMS jokes are the worst. Period.
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I love my "dent" my friends and I always joke about it however i wish I could wear bras that fit me properly. I'm a C/D cup but I have to wear B and even then it doesn't fit right...
    Nicoleq Nicoleq 18-21 19 hrs ago

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    Christmas Time The Teacher asked young Patrick Murphy: "What do you do at Christmas time? Patrick addressed the class: "Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 38 mins ago

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    My childhood was a depressive phase. Not so much when we were where we live but when we went to our relatives' place during vacations. My mom's sisters are very conservative and...
    unsettledkp unsettledkp 18-21 18 hrs ago

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    Just this weekend I was out with colleagues at a very busy pub and as usual found it very difficult to follow the conversation. I have always struggled when in noisy environments...
    ProfessorDrew ProfessorDrew 51-55, M 10 hrs ago

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    Siraj, time : 3:01 Pm, Oman. My birth Certificate says i have completed 23 years on earth but to my knowledge i lived only 14 days when i was with her. Those days were nothing...
    heartless2 heartless2 22-25, M 16 hrs ago

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    Just as the title suggests I suffer from maladaptive day dreaming, I've had this particular issue for as long as I can remember. earliest memory I have of my daydreaming is when I...
    Chason92 Chason92 22-25, M 10 hrs ago

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    So I was on Facebook and I saw a post someone made about Eminem rapping about wanting to r*pe Iggy and how it was just a song and that all his raps are about "those types of things...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 22

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    Q: What is the safest place to be in a zombie apocalypse? A: The living room. Q: Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage? A: Because the jokes he told where rotten. Q...
    Deliciousbrain Deliciousbrain 18-21 1 Response Dec 2

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    There are some ignorant people in my classes who joke about suicide all the time. One day in class, a guy took the detachable strap off of a girls purse and pretended to hang...
    ijustwantahug ijustwantahug 13-15, F 4 Responses Dec 3

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    I feel like people joke about it because it's an uncomfortable subject, and they don't know how else to handle it. That is ABSOLUTELY NO excuse, just a reason that someone might...
    Boulier Boulier 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    UPDATE: Today was the day!!! I arranged to meet with Lauren and to tell her the secret I've been keeping from her for so many years. She read the letter I had made for her and I...
    peacekeeper15 peacekeeper15 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 28

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    I feel like everyone has this ideal person that they would fall in love with, the perfect combination of good looks, intelligence, and humor. That person is physically attractive...
    loverofthelight95 loverofthelight95 18-21, F a week ago

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    An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake... He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to...
    DanCan1 DanCan1 56-60, M 5 Responses 5 days ago

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