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I Have A Joke Of The Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9 People

    The Electric Fence

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared. We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure...
    UnderEli UnderEli 46-50, M Aug 22, 2012

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    A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke,

    but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 25

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    A Woman's Week At The Gym

    This humour – which I found in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear...
    UnderEli UnderEli 46-50, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats

    and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two...
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 28

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    The Doctor's Day Off

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the...
    UnderEli UnderEli 46-50, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Forget What I Just Said.

    This is the story of a poor ditzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day "May Day!  May Day!  Help me!  Help me!  My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly.  Help...
    UnderEli UnderEli 46-50, M Dec 4, 2012

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    What happens to a frog's car

    when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 25

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    My friend thinks he is smart.

    He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 6

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    I'm Going To Get In Trouble Over This One . . . But . . .

    I'm going to get in trouble over this one . . . Then again . . .
    UnderEli UnderEli 46-50, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    Good One !

    I just tried to upload a picture of my Cat that I had written a story about. Since I had to delete my account before, I have not posted any pics and forgot that they needed to be re-sized and made smaller While I was trying I see in small letters underneath (no nudity...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 11, 2011

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    Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his...
    UnderEli UnderEli 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

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    My Cute Neighbour ...

    She's single...She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door ... I rushed to open it. She looks...
    smartlove007 smartlove007 41-45, M 1 Response Oct 16, 2012

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    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 29

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    A man asks his wife, "What would you do

    if I won the lottery?" His wife says, "Take half and leave your ***!" The man replies, "Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!"
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the

    Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 11

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    Related Experiences

    i dont have any ****** emotions i have no friends i have nothing to do any day because i have no one this is my life same thing day after day just drowning in my own depression and...
    neonpinkcupcakelover neonpinkcupcakelover 16-17, F 10 mins ago

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    There's a guy I like.I loved him without knowing,and then I met him.I texted him .We were at the same school,but this year he graduated.We're still talking.No progress yet.Days ago...
    xxzoom xxzoom 16-17, F 10 mins ago

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    A farmer was sitting on his porch one day when a young man drove in and came up to the porch. "Sir, I was driving by and noticed you had a lot of milk weed in your pasture. Would...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 23 mins ago

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    DAY SEVENTY SEVEN1-my best friend is helping me not to drown,,🚣🏻2- I met my postman three times today..his call...3- kids were good, but the oldest one lazy..4- I have a...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 1 hr ago

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    Dating sites take all the fun out of Internet dating haha I had a picture of just my eyes and not a full face picture. If i were wearing a burka only my eyes would be visible. I...
    paliglass paliglass 31-35, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    DAY 6 ^v^: At work we had a brief talk on how to resolve employee conflict.... Breaking down the difference between peace keeping and peace making... I am a strong woman...
    MissGotHerGroove MissGotHerGroove 41-45, F 2 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Well, I think I do suffer from this and I really need some advice.. It's like a different place like a story and I don't know why I have or might have this. I guess since I read...
    Elizabeth1123 Elizabeth1123 13-15, F 7 hrs ago

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    It's my first time on this app and it was actually through googling about similar symptoms that I'm here. I find myself in a similar situation. For about 4 days every month before...
    incagem incagem 31-35, F 7 hrs ago

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    Why Indian Students are Disliked Abroad! (Not sure if this is true :P ) It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian...
    om2013 om2013 22-25, M 5 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to...
    Dianecc11 Dianecc11 26-30, F 9 hrs ago

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    Why did the skeleton NOT cross the road? BECAUSE HE DIDN'T HAVE THE GUTS TO DO IT HAHA Iamsosorrypleaseforgiveme
    bowsandarrows bowsandarrows 13-15, F 4 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to...
    Dianecc11 Dianecc11 26-30, F 9 hrs ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to...
    Dianecc11 Dianecc11 26-30, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to...
    Dianecc11 Dianecc11 26-30, F 9 hrs ago

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    two month ago I went to my ex's place and found a girl who he described as a friend only sleeping on the pile of wood because she was meditating earlier. I offered her a ride home...
    arina130 arina130 41-45, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Does anyone have those days wen you just can't see yourself carrying on
    EmmyKxx EmmyKxx 16-17, F 18 hrs ago

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    If any of you guys are having a bad day.. Please look at this wonderful picture of a minion in a thong. Thank you.
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    A Retired Person's Perspective: 1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out...
    OldPrepper OldPrepper 70+, M 2 days ago

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    A stockbroker was cold calling about a penny stock and found Bob. "I think this one will really move," said the broker. "It's only $1 a share." "Buy me 1000 shares," said Bob. The...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    To anyway whose looking for some type of motivation or to brighten their day, I suggest a book by Alexandra Elle "Words of a Wanderer." I had a **** day today and I read a little...
    Shelbaayyy Shelbaayyy 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    Ever since my dad told me one of his dad jokes, I loved hearing and telling jokes and riddles. Thanks, dad
    aprisonerofazkaban aprisonerofazkaban 22-25, F 3 days ago

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    It seems very fake, or "Haha... - That was funny, now lets talk about me again, or let me speak"/"Haha, very funny, now let me tell you what is even funnier" Very often when i...
    mirkwood86 mirkwood86 26-30, M 4 days ago

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    This is just so relevant right now. A bad day following an amazing one.
    beax3 beax3 22-25, F 5 days ago

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    For me it only happens when I'm listening to music, is that weird?
    attackonzach attackonzach 13-15, T 1 Response 6 days ago

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    What an awful existence. A combination of childhood traumas and inherited brain chemistry, making one sad sack of a human being. Always jumping to the worst conclusion, always a...
    BigBaddaBoom BigBaddaBoom 26-30, F a week ago

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    Q: What goes Moof? A: A cow with buck teeth. Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/jokes-archive/2015/06/23/
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    I know I shouldn't, but some days it's just hard to deal with all the negativity. It's hard to hear that you are referred to around town as being "the guy who wears girl's clothes...
    LovelyoneT LovelyoneT 31-35, T 1 Response a week ago

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    Can today get any worse?? :'(
    Wompy52 Wompy52 18-21, M Jun 23

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