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I Have A Joke Of The Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6 People

    The Electric Fence

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared. We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Forget What I Just Said.

    This is the story of a poor ditzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day "May Day!  May Day!  Help me!  Help me!  My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly.  Help...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Dec 4, 2012

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    Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

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    I'm Going To Get In Trouble Over This One . . . But . . .

    I'm going to get in trouble over this one . . . Then again . . .
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    A Woman's Week At The Gym

    This humour – which I found in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Good One !

    I just tried to upload a picture of my Cat that I had written a story about. Since I had to delete my account before, I have not posted any pics and forgot that they needed to be re-sized and made smaller While I was trying I see in small letters underneath (no nudity...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 11, 2011

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    The Doctor's Day Off

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    Once in a while, amidst all your day days, you'll have a good day. A great day even. Make sure you remember those days. Keep them safely in the pockets of your coat or in a jar on...
    carissamae carissamae 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 5

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    There are some days when everything that could have went wrong, went wrong and I feel like I'm about to explode💥💥💥and then there are days like today, where I feel like...
    Shygirl917 Shygirl917 18-21, F Apr 2

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    This reminds me of "The Best Day" by Atmosphere, where it's like "Everyday can't be the best day Do what you can right now don't hesitate That's why we try to make love and get...
    mahnouls mahnouls 16-17 Apr 8

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    When I was a child, I was very lonely growing up. I had no siblings. I was chubbier and much shyer than the other kids so I got bullied. I also got bullied by my parents for being...
    daydreamingmadness daydreamingmadness 16-17, F Apr 9

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    Good days I help my friends out and speak to the guy I want to see :) Bad days are when I have to clean a heaps of messages and block people, I'm trying to give quality to the...
    Tricke1983 Tricke1983 31-35, F Mar 22

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    I am having the worst day ever and I can't call out. I had uneconomic dreams about an ex last night. They left me emotionally and mentally drained. I woke up feeling empty and...
    eekclips eekclips 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I have moments of profound discontentment. Some days I leave work and just descend into a deep, abiding funk that nothing can penetrate. It's like catatonia.
    needlessthings needlessthings 31-35, M Apr 1

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    TODAY IS AN AWFUL DAY! I woke up at 8 AM to go to my class and on my way home, I got pulled over and got a ticket because my plates were expired! HUGE FINE! Not a happy camper...
    sweetsarahxo sweetsarahxo 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    My classmates are going to have a get-together but they say that 'there are too many people' and everyone in my house are in a bad mood and bossing me around. My boyfriend isn't...
    SecretsNeverHidden SecretsNeverHidden 22-25, F Mar 23

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    Today has been oddly rough. I don't even feel like I'm fully here. My head just feels like it's floating around. I keep falling and dropping things. I feel like crying but I have...
    xtimeb0mbxx xtimeb0mbxx 18-21, F Apr 9

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    Everyone does! Just keep positive and give a lot of hugs😊
    allisonslim allisonslim 22-25, F Mar 29

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    I thought yesterday was bad! I was so wrong today ate yesterday for breakfast and crapped it out in five min!!!!
    eekclips eekclips 26-30, F Mar 25

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    It's hard to please everyone.
    lunamoon2435 lunamoon2435 18-21, F Apr 10

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    I have been noticing lately that I am daydreaming a lot, but now that I read more on MD, I think I definitely suffer from it. I have been daydreaming a lot as a child (I was an...
    morningbird morningbird 18-21, F 7 hrs ago

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    I have joker poster everywhere, a joker wallet, Dc games with batman and joker, i went to Walmart when i was 15 just to buy batman sheets which are on my bed right now, batman...
    earpollution earpollution 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    We're on vacation, and I think he's determined to ruin it for me. The other day, we were at a restaurant and my mom was telling me about a girl who was on Suze Orman. My mom...
    Marvilles Marvilles 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 8

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    There´s this guy who i have liked for about 3 years it all started 3 years ago we were classmates and we got along well and we talk at school because he was at my side in class so...
    nicolee1234 nicolee1234 16-17, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    ALL THE TIME! If I'm not doing anything and I'm sitting down then you would catch me looking far ahead, not a blink in sight just daydreaming away! I have always daydreamed as...
    MilweePisces MilweePisces 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    I don't remember how or when I started daydreaming. I just know that it had always been this way. I find it hard to pay attention in class or get my school work done. I often find...
    MsGardevoir MsGardevoir 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    For a little over a year I have been trying to explain the reasons and motivations behind the way I have lived my life since I married my husband. I have never been able to explain...
    isis55 isis55 56-60, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    I have bad days where sometimes all I can do is cry and let it all out. These bad days almost always start at the worst possible moment. They are so random and I can't figure out...
    worldisupsidedown worldisupsidedown 16-17, F Mar 23

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    Its not all the time, though. Sometimes I can get in the zone, focus at the task at hand as if my life was dependent on it. I love when I have those days because those days are...
    Aldmeri Aldmeri 70+, M Mar 25

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    I have bi-polar and thus I have bad days. When I say bad days I mean that thinking and socializing become difficult. I still don't know what to do when this happens but I have a...
    chaoticallycosmosme chaoticallycosmosme 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 28

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    I think work ethic is a beautiful thing to have. I'm always trying to improve mine, although I do have lazy days. I'm hoping that one day I'll be a software developer. The money...
    fairytalesandspiderwebs fairytalesandspiderwebs 18-21, F Mar 21

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    My husband has been struggling with depression throughout our ten-year relationship. He refuses to get treatment. He works one part time job and that's "too much." I work two...
    FakeIsTheNewReal FakeIsTheNewReal 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 26

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    I have recently had episodes of depression. Moving away from my friends and everything I knew is part of it. I think I also feel this way because of social networking. I look on...
    Ginger135 Ginger135 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 27

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    Do you ever have those days where you just ask yourself why does God put us down here to go through all of this suffering and heart break? Sometimes i think it would be easier just...
    loveatheart loveatheart 13-15, F Mar 20

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    I've always said I would get my first kiss before I turned 16. I have 4 days.
    mozerellabitch mozerellabitch 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    And I have to day that it is starting to ruin my life. It started when I was I'm grade school and it has gotten worse and worse until no I'm a sophomore in high school. I'm on the...
    iSwim98 iSwim98 13-15, M 1 Response Apr 7

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    I want a bf but the last guy I dated destroyed me. We had a really bad break up and I luckily (or maybe not) moved away straight after. I sort of let go and now I'm over weight...
    chrisisyourfriend chrisisyourfriend 16-17, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    There are many different reactions to suicide. Some think it's selfish, some think it's sad, some blame theirselves, and others just can't bare to process it. But no one should...
    Audrina14 Audrina14 13-15, F 1 hr ago

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    I saw my best friend take suicide in front of me. He was 16 and handsome. Suicide doesn't kill someone, its sadness. Being judged Feeling like you have no one Suicide is being...
    ILYBlackVeilBrides ILYBlackVeilBrides 13-15, F 12 hrs ago

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    Well, one winter day after a snowstorm, the President was looking out the window of the Oval Office, and noticed that some joker had urinated his name in the snow. It disturbed him...
    crotus crotus 51-55, M 8 hrs ago

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    I'm not in anyway socially, financially, or mentally deprived. I live with an average family. Thinking I have nothing to complain because some were even less fortunate than me...
    DreamerCost DreamerCost 16-17, M 10 hrs ago

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    One day, Akpos who was in primary three, approached his teacher. Akpos said, "M’am, I should be in primary four, I’m smarter than my sister and she’s in the primary four...
    enriqueclasico enriqueclasico 26-30, M 9 hrs ago

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    There is a blonde, a brunette, and a ginger...they all died. Jesus appeared to them and said the only way to get to heaven is too walk up these 100 stairs without laughing..I will...
    Ryleemoods Ryleemoods 13-15, F 9 hrs ago

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    Sleeping in Church ------------------ One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps...
    Kaddath Kaddath 41-45, M 1 Response 10 hrs ago

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    Husband wanted A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: "Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    A man receives this text from his neighbour...I'm really sorry, Bob. I feel so guilty and I have to confess. I've been using your wife, day and night, when you're not around. In...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 10 hrs ago

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    Converting a Bear A rabbi, priest, and a preacher meet every Monday in a coffee shop to talk things over about their spiritual life. One day, the priest makes a bet with the...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    Akpos was chatting with this girl and the following conversation started: AKPOS: Hey girl, I think your really hot, wanna go out? GIRL: I have a boyfriend. AKPOS: I have a Maths...
    enriqueclasico enriqueclasico 26-30, M 9 hrs ago

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    When I was a child, the earliest memory of my daydreams was my dragon called Raptos. I believe I created him around five years old. He was small enough to lay on my child head but...
    Rosethewolf Rosethewolf 18-21, F 7 hrs ago

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    My friends and I have this running joke called "Turbo Tuesday." Tuesday is the most boring goddam day of the week, because it's not Monday where you're fresh off from the weekend...
    BlueMetalChick BlueMetalChick 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 25

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    And if you think lawyers don't have hearts. Read the best lawyerstory of all time...bar none. The United Way Health Research Foundation realized that it had never received a...
    Kaddath Kaddath 41-45, M 6 Responses 12 hrs ago

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