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I Have A Joke Of The Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9 People

    Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his...
    UnderEli UnderEli 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

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    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 29

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    What happens to a frog's car

    when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 25

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    A Woman's Week At The Gym

    This humour – which I found in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear...
    UnderEli UnderEli 46-50, M Aug 22, 2012

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    The Electric Fence

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared. We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure...
    UnderEli UnderEli 46-50, M Aug 22, 2012

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    I'm Going To Get In Trouble Over This One . . . But . . .

    I'm going to get in trouble over this one . . . Then again . . .
    UnderEli UnderEli 46-50, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    A man asks his wife, "What would you do

    if I won the lottery?" His wife says, "Take half and leave your ***!" The man replies, "Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!"
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    My friend thinks he is smart.

    He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 6

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    My Cute Neighbour ...

    She's single...She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door ... I rushed to open it. She looks...
    smartlove007 smartlove007 41-45, M 1 Response Oct 16, 2012

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    A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke,

    but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 25

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    A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the

    Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 11

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    The Doctor's Day Off

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the...
    UnderEli UnderEli 46-50, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Forget What I Just Said.

    This is the story of a poor ditzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day "May Day!  May Day!  Help me!  Help me!  My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly.  Help...
    UnderEli UnderEli 46-50, M Dec 4, 2012

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    Good One !

    I just tried to upload a picture of my Cat that I had written a story about. Since I had to delete my account before, I have not posted any pics and forgot that they needed to be re-sized and made smaller While I was trying I see in small letters underneath (no nudity...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 11, 2011

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    Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats

    and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two...
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 28

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    Related Experiences

    I think I have maladaptive daydream Disorder, i have read a bit about it and i feel like thats what i am going throw. i dint really get it at an really young age. i think I got it...
    Babygirl3799 Babygirl3799 16-17, F 1 Response May 6

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    Does anyone else have days where you can hear and see everything but every little sound or everything that some people do bothers you and you just want to world to be quiet and...
    wolflover1648 wolflover1648 16-17 May 25

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    My day didn't even start yet but I know it probably won't be a good one. I just woke up feeling sad and angry. Right now I feel very irritated and im sitting here in silence...
    anonamanda001 anonamanda001 18-21, F 2 Responses May 5

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    Oh no! It's not true... Its a cheat day for me.. I did something that I shouldn't have! I just ordered Mac!! Oooopsie!
    MsAttitudez MsAttitudez 22-25, F May 16

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    I'm just out here for a run, early runs are the best specially when you have a beautiful view like this one...Mother Nature is beautiful... I love living by the lake <3
    IsMyStory IsMyStory 16-17, F May 16

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    Tuesday I go back to my surgeon and hopefully get a date set to get rid my pain... And everything that it goes with. Wish me luck that he will do it SOON!
    Christinamarie3095 Christinamarie3095 41-45, T 1 Response May 16

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    I wish I didn't because I really need to get back into reality, it's my birthday party tomorrow and I don't want to be like this. I always thought my life would be better at 16 but...
    Babygirl3799 Babygirl3799 16-17, F May 22

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    Today has been one of the worst in a long long time.
    CallmeHopelessNotRomantic CallmeHopelessNotRomantic 36-40, F 2 Responses May 25

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    Right now I'm sick with the flu, I'm a week early with my period, I can't go to sleep even though it's already 1am because I found a cockroach behind the curtain right next to my...
    ChiaXUno ChiaXUno 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    okay I do have good days, reasonable days, days that I cope with with ease. but the underlying problems and unhappiness are still there throughout these days and I want that to...
    minmins07 minmins07 18-21, F May 24

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    I have maladaptive daydreaming, bipolar, and general anxiety disorders. My bipolar was triggered when I was in 6th grade after I lost a family member to depression. I believe that...
    19MangoTango95 19MangoTango95 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    I have maladaptive daydreaming, bipolar, and general anxiety disorders. My bipolar was triggered when I was in 6th grade after I lost a family member to depression. I believe that...
    19MangoTango95 19MangoTango95 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    I always have better days but the worse feeling is having the worse days.
    Asereht Asereht 26-30, F 3 Responses May 24

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    I think I have Maladaptive Daydreaming, I day dream a lot and I want to stop now it has affected a lot of my life, and I would just like anyone that has had it and gotten over it...
    Babygirl3799 Babygirl3799 16-17, F 3 days ago

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    What do I feel about this.... Mixed emotions. I have my days when I am fine with it, then in a down mood I lament and complain. I am certainly not a "fat/chubby activist." I think...
    Ravenwind43 Ravenwind43 41-45, F 5 Responses a week ago

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    Got diagnosed in 2005.. Had my thyroid removed in 06. There's really no cure since it's an autoimmune disorder.. You can kill the thyroid or take it out. I opted to take it out...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 4

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    On good days. I truly believe this dream can come true. That if I work hard and give it my all I'll end up fine. But then I have bad days. Where I feel like maybe this is all in my...
    silentbirdy silentbirdy 16-17, F May 22

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    You know who you are? I hope you have a day filled with so much love and joy. It is also a day to remember and reflect on how you treat those whom you don't like. All those times...
    May 7

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    I'm scared, I'm confused, I AM AIMLESS. I've thought about killing myself before. several times actually. I've considered suicide lightly when ever since I was 16 years old. and...
    Syafika Syafika 18-21, F 1 Response May 17

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    I decides I should write this post for people's what haves prolems in there  . I may sound like a perfessor of academical studyings, but I acshully am not have a psd or masters of...
    May 10

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    "It costs money" "A" has been very good lately. There have been very little significant switches or freak-outs in the past couple months. It's good, but a part of me can't help to...
    Remotay88 Remotay88 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Losing friends has shown me how to be a great friend. I have lonely days but at least I know that if I ever meet new people that truly appreciate me for who I am and my heart, I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 12

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    Sometimes I'd have friends over, but most often I would sit and have a day and night marathon of my favourite movies. Anything with Romain Duris, or Jeremie Renier. Even classics...
    Astrucbmt Astrucbmt 22-25, F 1 Response May 15

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    I have recently been diagnosed with ptc just in the past maybe four months. I'm having lots of problems with it. I have let this come between me and my work. I have many days that...
    75tish 75tish 36-40, F 1 Response May 19

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    I feel extremely isolated tonight. Maybe because I don't have a roomate.. Yet? I have been daydreaming so much since i got back from work. Like the trip I'll be having with friends...
    itcheru itcheru 22-25, F May 25

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    I hate this **** ! I can't even explain how much this sucks to have . Most days I'm tolerant of it ...but I'm tired of feeling like a robot . I am trying very hard to keep this...
    chernobylplayground chernobylplayground 36-40, F 3 Responses May 25

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     I will think about you while I cross the Delware Bridge to night.I tried to atleast give call to your Husbad SHAMS..His Office kept telling he is out of the Country. Really? I...
    SwissGhostTaltola SwissGhostTaltola 22-25, F May 8

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    I wonder if this dream would ever come true; where we end up alone in room, or anywhere as long as its with you. I just have this daydream that we spontaneously look into each...
    May 11

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