I Have A Joke Of The Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8 People

    littlecarmel littlecarmel
    26-30, F
    Apr 29, 2015

    I'm Going To Get In Trouble Over This One . . . But . . .

    I'm going to get in trouble over this one . . . Then again . . .
    UnderEli UnderEli
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

    A man asks his wife, "What would you do

    if I won the lottery?" His wife says, "Take half and leave your ***!" The man replies, "Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!"
    littlecarmel littlecarmel
    26-30, F
    Mar 24, 2015

    The Electric Fence

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared. We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure...
    UnderEli UnderEli
    46-50, M
    Aug 22, 2012

    A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke,

    but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
    littlecarmel littlecarmel
    26-30, F
    Feb 25, 2015

    Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his...
    UnderEli UnderEli
    46-50, M
    1 Response Aug 22, 2012

    A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the

    Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
    littlecarmel littlecarmel
    26-30, F
    Feb 11, 2015

    Forget What I Just Said.

    This is the story of a poor ditzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day "May Day!  May Day!  Help me!  Help me!  My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly.  Help...
    UnderEli UnderEli
    46-50, M
    Dec 4, 2012

    Good One !

    I just tried to upload a picture of my Cat that I had written a story about. Since I had to delete my account before, I have not posted any pics and forgot that they needed to be re-sized and made smaller While I was trying I see in small letters underneath (no nudity...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Mar 11, 2011

    Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats

    and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two...
    littlecarmel littlecarmel
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jan 28, 2015

    My friend thinks he is smart.

    He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
    littlecarmel littlecarmel
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Feb 6, 2015

    What happens to a frog's car

    when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
    littlecarmel littlecarmel
    26-30, F
    Apr 25, 2015

    The Doctor's Day Off

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the...
    UnderEli UnderEli
    46-50, M
    Aug 22, 2012

    A Woman's Week At The Gym

    This humour – which I found in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear...
    UnderEli UnderEli
    46-50, M
    Aug 22, 2012

    My Cute Neighbour ...

    She's single...She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door ... I rushed to open it. She looks...
    smartlove007 smartlove007
    41-45, M
    1 Response Oct 16, 2012
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