Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Have A Joke Of The Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8 People

    A Woman's Week At The Gym

    This humour – which I found in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Forget What I Just Said.

    This is the story of a poor ditzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day "May Day!  May Day!  Help me!  Help me!  My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly.  Help...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Dec 4, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke,

    but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the

    Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A man asks his wife, "What would you do

    if I won the lottery?" His wife says, "Take half and leave your ***!" The man replies, "Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!"
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats

    and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two...
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Doctor's Day Off

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My friend thinks he is smart.

    He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Cute Neighbour ...

    She's single...She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door ... I rushed to open it. She looks...
    smartlove007 smartlove007 41-45, M 1 Response Oct 16, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Electric Fence

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared. We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Good One !

    I just tried to upload a picture of my Cat that I had written a story about. Since I had to delete my account before, I have not posted any pics and forgot that they needed to be re-sized and made smaller While I was trying I see in small letters underneath (no nudity...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 11, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm Going To Get In Trouble Over This One . . . But . . .

    I'm going to get in trouble over this one . . . Then again . . .
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    I use it as an escape for reality, as a way to cope with the fact that I'm just a stupid, worthless , loner and weak.. Everyday.. I feel I'm alone.. no one cares about me, I am a...
    qwerty724360 qwerty724360 22-25, F Mar 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am human and I have bad days it's part of the thing we call life
    shannonsjourney shannonsjourney 18-21, F Mar 18

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm depressed, anxious, and was recently diagnosed with OCD. Most days I don't like myself. Most days I want to be alone. Most days I want to disappear. But every once in a while...
    E991010 E991010 13-15, F 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I can't remember when I first got Maladaptive Daydreaming, but I do know that I got it at a very young age, perhaps 3 or 5, I would always pace wildly around the room when I was...
    Nordic5angel Nordic5angel 13-15, F Mar 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Ever had one of those days? You know the ones. The days where you just need one of those hugs? You know the hugs I’m talking about. The ones where someone just holds you so that...
    PrettyInBlack79 PrettyInBlack79 36-40, F 1 Response a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I daydream almost everyday, I pace subconsciously when I do, I often daydream about anime, I also have crushes on the anime characters, right now it's hetalia, do you daydream...
    Nordic5angel Nordic5angel 13-15, F 5 Responses Mar 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Today is a bad day. I'm craving alcohol and I stared at my razors for hours. Such a bad day.
    CeBeY1 CeBeY1 18-21, F Mar 16

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Found out my benefits haven't been stopped,left the Jobcenter early,ordered my first sex toy,had some bacon. Today's been good so far.
    KurMujunTheJokerKyle KurMujunTheJokerKyle 18-21, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    One minute you think everything is fine and then the next minute your whole life has changed. I had a blood test last week and got the results today. I have diabetes (not bad) but...
    Kru24 Kru24 18-21 Mar 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Rare but omg so very nice.
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I hate love I mean it ***** you over a lot and that just sucks
    AmarHamdan AmarHamdan 18-21, F 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Ugh.....parents that meddle and change their ******* minds after the fact...so pissed off!!!
    mongoheadmonster mongoheadmonster 31-35, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I don't know if he does it on purpose but my husband always seems to start an argument or is mean to me around special occasions. Previous mothers days included him ignoring my...
    probablyPMT probablyPMT 31-35, F Mar 15

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My Continuation of my Trichotillomania Story: Part 2: Healing Journey… Out of the darkness into the sun… Breakaway…. Grew up in a small town And when the rain would fall...
    ninja5593 ninja5593 18-21, F Mar 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Just wanted to share my thoughts with you guys. I sometimes have good days and bad days. There are times that I try not to think about the hair and live my life as a "normal...
    Bettyr94 Bettyr94 18-21, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm suffering I have good days and bad days more bad days lately tired of it
    bigbill75 bigbill75 36-40, M Mar 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm not actually sure if I have Maladaptive daydreaming. Anyways, I'm a new writer which means I am far from published and have no actual works done. I think my maladaptive...
    elenalex elenalex 18-21, F Mar 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Sometimes I think I am pretty and sometimes I don't. But either way I try to remind myself that pretty or not, it doesn't determine my worth. Every day i struggle to build my...
    cowellowl cowellowl 22-25 2 Responses Mar 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    You know when you just have those days when you just break? You can't fake it anymore? Today was that day for me. I was going to attempt suicide last night because I got rejected...
    Ambernonymous Ambernonymous 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    It's so hard writing about this. My emotions are, again, taking the best of me. I sometimes don't even know what I say or do anymore, and then I end up crying because I'm scared...
    talkingbodies talkingbodies 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Ever have those days where it seems no one wants to talk to you? :O
    Tuva Tuva 31-35, M 3 Responses Mar 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have Three Days Grace stuck in my head today, mainly Never Too Late. I love that song. :)
    ImaginaryAlchemist ImaginaryAlchemist 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've been dealing with this for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Mar 6

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've been dealing with this for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Mar 6

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've been dealing with this for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Mar 6

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My mom has a legitimate mental issue, my dad looks like he's slowly dying day by day, my older sister isn't around at all anymore, and my little sister is just doing her thing. My...
    anonamanda001 anonamanda001 16-17, F 3 Responses 17 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Just diagnosed this week although they called it neuralgic amyotrophy. I believe there is another name for it as well, do you know? Does this all mean our immune system has...
    tickatocken tickatocken 41-45, F 3 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The arrangements at work for this week involved going to a four day series of training seminars and having Friday off. It was hard work, but I enjoyed having Friday off. I agreed...
    Astrucbmt Astrucbmt 22-25, F 2 Responses 17 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Hello Everyone! I'm currently 16 years old, 7 months ago I was going school, hanging out with my friends and living life to the fullest! But now everyday is a struggle. I don't go...
    amandas1011 amandas1011 16-17, F 2 Responses 14 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    You know, part of me wonders why I am so damned infatuated with you. You are so very intruiging, yet I've only known you for 4 months. Part of that time we barely even spoke. But I...
    EtherealAmethyst EtherealAmethyst 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel