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I Have A Joke Of The Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5 People

    Good One !

    I just tried to upload a picture of my Cat that I had written a story about. Since I had to delete my account before, I have not posted any pics and forgot that they needed to be re-sized and made smaller While I was trying I see in small letters underneath (no nudity...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 11, 2011

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    Forget What I Just Said.

    This is the story of a poor ditzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day "May Day!  May Day!  Help me!  Help me!  My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know how to fly.  Help...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Dec 4, 2012

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    The Electric Fence

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared. We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    I'm Going To Get In Trouble Over This One . . . But . . .

    I'm going to get in trouble over this one . . . Then again . . .
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    A Woman's Week At The Gym

    This humour – which I found in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    My Cute Neighbour ...

    She's single...She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on my door ... I rushed to open it. She looks...
    smartlove007 smartlove007 41-45, M 3 Responses Oct 16, 2012

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    Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

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    The Doctor's Day Off

    This humour – which I found it in a link from one of my E.P. friends’ Facebook page – is too crude to not be shared.  A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the...
    UnderEli UnderEli 41-45, M Aug 22, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    Every since I was young (about 7 or 8) I daydreamed but not that much only a little. It wasn't until I was about 12 that it really started I use to just daydream about characters I...
    malakai85 malakai85 16-17, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I eat healthy... I work out... I don't have "Cheat" days. I have days that I allow myself to enjoy a burger or take a day off from the gym, but not "Cheat" days. When you refer to...
    biggun1122 biggun1122 36-40, M 5 days ago

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    (Pic) Ya i have bad days, but they could be worse. I feel sorry for Mr. Stickman. He really has been out through a lot all these years.
    QuiltedBathwater QuiltedBathwater 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Today is not my day. Working both jobs and won't be home till late. My bf barely talked to me already and I saw a photo that really really bothered me.... Just doesn't feel like a...
    Soldiergirl3 Soldiergirl3 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 11

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    When I'm alone I tend to have conversations with other people. They can be people in my life or it can be a made up person that is interviewing me as if I am a famous person or...
    714seahorse 714seahorse 46-50, F Jul 13

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    Oooh yeah...really bad days where nothing makes sense...and I wonder about life and all this ducked up reality.I feel pain and cold...missunderstood and all I wish is for love and...
    4biandu 4biandu 26-30, F Jul 4

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    Whenever I feel like I'm stuck in a rut or I'm having a bad day I feel like I need some kind of change. So tonight I'm dying and cutting my hair, it always makes me feel better for...
    LivviyLove LivviyLove 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 5

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    A lot of bad days actually 😏
    BeccaK1 BeccaK1 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 11

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    I love waking up and feeling so well rested ☺️ Today's gonna be a good day filled with good vibes.
    TheSongPlaysWithin TheSongPlaysWithin 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I can't stop it. When there's music on, I always walk around the room and just daydream excessively. I don't know what caused it, maybe my adjustment disorder has? I also have...
    Mikaylaxo Mikaylaxo 13-15, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    So sad..I found in this world people like to use people ..they only care their own profit..This is truth..Bad people end up get punishment?...Maybe maybe only in fairy tale... I...
    Farmerwork Farmerwork 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    I suffer from depression and anxiety, I wish it would just go away and let me be myself again. I miss the confident person I used to be.
    kirstyc4321 kirstyc4321 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 11

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    Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I want to tear my eyes out because I don't like what I see.
    kirstyc4321 kirstyc4321 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 11

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    I have a question. How do I know if I have Maladaptive Daydreaming? What makes me think I have MD is because... 1. I daydream a lot. As in even whether I'm just walking from my...
    iridexent iridexent 18-21 2 Responses Jun 28

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    A firm grasp on the concept of infinity is difficult, but it becomes much easier when you think about parallel universes. I’m not a believer of the multiverse theory, but I do...
    MrTimothyMcNeil MrTimothyMcNeil 18-21, M Jul 1

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    Sooo I have a boyfriend who doesn't realize that his words and actions don't match up. He is one of those talk the talk but can never walk the walk kind of boys. I feel like he...
    SilentNynja SilentNynja 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Oct 2012, Dr told me I have PD. Take medicine, but have good days and bad days. PD mostly affects my legs. When meds ware off, my legs hurt. Can not sleep, have to walk to...
    rjk01 rjk01 66-70, M 3 Responses Jul 7

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    Why is it that I'm being held to a much higher standard? Why are teens in general being held to a much higher standard? Yea, there's hormones and all that BS but that shouldn't...
    DarkGoddesss DarkGoddesss 16-17, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Well, my new goal is 4th of July. I have 7 days! Don't know if this method is effective... I find something I want to look good for, and then get really motivated for the week or...
    navygirl00 navygirl00 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 27

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    Once upon a time, I got into a car accident across some lady's house. She came running out to see if we were okay. I thought she was a man until she spoke. She went back in the...
    KiannaJ KiannaJ 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 10

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    Two blondes walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and chearing, "51 days! 51 days!!" About five minutes later, another blonde walks in...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 2 hrs ago

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    Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 2 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    One day while on patrol a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 3 hrs ago

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    Jokes cheer me up cause they are funny
    AbbyBabe01 AbbyBabe01 13-15, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    3 guys go into a bar, a Jewish, a Catholic and a Mormon. They start drinking and they share some esperiences (:P)... Suddenly the Jewish start talking about children, and he comes...
    CrazyLJoker CrazyLJoker 22-25, M 7 hrs ago

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    It's game 7 of the NBA finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court. He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor...
    illusionlife illusionlife 36-40, F 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The...
    illusionlife illusionlife 36-40, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    "Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 3 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping, they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes woke Watson up and said...
    EvelynElf EvelynElf 16-17, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    A man travelling by plane was in urgent need of the toilet. But each time he looked up, the illuminated sign proclaimed that it was occupied. The stewardess, aware of his...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 3 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    One never knows what's going to happen in the next moment of life. It's within that moment of not knowing that something supernatural takes place; just when you least expect it...
    Alark1 Alark1 56-60, F 3 hrs ago

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    Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 3 days ago

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    I was never one to look through my boyfriend's phone . but when he would sit there and talk about this girl named Allisha all the time that was when I finally snapped . I looked...
    abbyhh25 abbyhh25 16-17, F 4 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    If u feel that I type my Jokes straight out of a joke book. then u r grossly mistaken. They are all Original. - Pg. 108 (I love Jokes & Riddles) - - End of Jokes Section 1...
    karmameter karmameter 36-40, M 2 Responses Jun 26

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    I'm a 17 year old girl and have Ulcerative Colitis. It used to be a joke that I would "poop" so often. My parents would make jokes about how we would have to rush home or wait at...
    sb97 sb97 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 29

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    Random Thoughts Part II: It kind of bugs me when people say things like "It's nice to meet you", before they've gotten to know me. I mean how do you know it's nice to meet me, I'm...
    DeathstalkerScorpion DeathstalkerScorpion 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 30

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    Here's An Awful One! My next-door neighbor told me this joke a while back, it's hilarious. A couple had one son, a little two- or three-year-old son, something like that. Since...
    FR3DR1CKA FR3DR1CKA 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 27

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    A blonde woman decides that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 9

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    Q: How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day? A: Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 11
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