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I Have a Kid That Cracks Me Up

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 438 People

    Chuck Norris Is A Superhero!

    My 7 year old was just talking about superheros being real. She knows they're really not, she was just being silly. Then when I tell her they're not she says "I know Mom....but Chuck Norris is a real superhero!" I lmao! I wondered how she even knew the name Chuck Norris and...
    TattooedMissez TattooedMissez 26-30, F Feb 22, 2012

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    Yes Yes Yes

    When my daughter was 2 I started noticing her walking around the house rubbing her head and yelling "yes yes yes." I couldn't figure out why she was always doing that. Then one day while watching tv the commercial for Herbal Essences came over. Remember the one with the woman in...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 26, 2011

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    Egg Play

    First Easter alone. Didn't go to church. Didn't do anything but baskets.Little Bird is bored with chocolate and peeps. And is now playing with his eggs. He mixes the colors up. There are three sizes of plastic eggs. The normal egg-sized ones, bigger ones, and two huge ones.He's...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 20 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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    Summertime~ and the living is easy

    Around 11 o'clock,  yesterday morning, our 7 year old decided it was a perfect day to throw a party.  For the next 5 hours he was totally engrossed in the role of event planner. Decorating was the first order of business.  He hunted down all the balloons in the...
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 62 Responses Jul 1, 2009

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    Cages?

    So my daughter and I were watching TV a little while ago. There was a mom talking about her adopted daughter. So my little girl (soon to be 8) turns to me with a puzzled look on her face and says "So.... how do people get adopted? Are the kids in cages?"I busted out LMAO... I...
    TattooedMissez TattooedMissez 26-30, F Jun 26, 2012

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    I Have A Funny Kid!

    I really do have a funny kid!...and words can't describe the love I feel for our son. He's just such an amazing person. As he grows up, I see his personality develope. It's so cool! There's not a day that goes by that he doesn't make us laugh. It's what he enjoys. He loves...
    reallygoodperson reallygoodperson 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 28, 2012

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    "hey Daddy, Look What I Found" Lol!!!!!

    It was a normal tubby time. My oldest daughter Jugee was only 2. I was home from my second tour in Iraq for a couple months, and I had the responsibility of giving her a tub before bed. "No problem"; so I thought.... Jugee is sitting in the tub as the water ran, and I was getting...
    3rdbct187thRakkasan 3rdbct187thRakkasan 26-30, M 7 Responses Oct 23, 2011

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    Double Trouble

    One of my sons recently got a cool gig,  playing music for a production of "Guys and Dolls."  Four performances,  great pay.  One of these shows was Monday night.  About 3 pm,  he had an  "oh ****!"  moment.  He has a wind ensemble concert that night too!   When you...
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 25 Responses Mar 25, 2011

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    Where Do They Find These Things

    I have 2 kids one is a teen and one is a toddler, My teen walks up to little one the other day and says "give me five" little one reaches out to shake her hand, and she says " no give me five" and little one reaches to shake her hand again. Well finally my teen reaches to shake...
    specks77 specks77 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 19, 2013

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    My brother is the funniest kid in the world!

    ! Hahaa, when he's crying and upset he'll pop his head in the corner and look at you, while crying cx He's cute.. And a little shiiit
    Invader1 Invader1 18-21, F Dec 4, 2013

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    The Trio Of Trouble

    I have a 6, 5 and 4 year old, they are all boys and every day I love them more, today was no different.  Just recently I cleaned out a spare bedroom so that one of them could have a room of his own. Up to now I've had them in the same room because of the divorce I wanted to keep...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 22, 2012

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    My Silly Little Girl

    I have a 2 year old daughter (3 next month) & she is so funny. she is just too much sometimes :) She has the mind of an 8 year old & the attiude of a 16 year old. lol. She's got this new thing she says before she starts a story... She says, "when I was a litle kid...." I just...
    jmecovington jmecovington 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 22, 2012

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    House Of Clowns

    I usually post stories about our youngest here.  But I can't deny our other two sons.  They crack me up too. So,  they are teaching economics in the 2nd grade now.  The little man had to "apply" for a classroom job.  He really wanted the position of...
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 52 Responses Jan 26, 2010

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    Easter Dinner

    Requested by CrazyWaterSpringFor Easter this year, I cooked a traditional ham dinner for just my hubby, kids, my mom and mother-in-law. My son napped through dinner while the rest of us sat around the table. It was nice and quiet, kept it simple and sweet this year. While we...
    TattooedMissez TattooedMissez 26-30, F 1 Response May 2, 2012

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    Innocence Lost

    On Tuesday, the 5th grade classes watched that special film. You know, the one you see in Health class...Growth and Development. I know you remember. The next day, my son and his buddies are hanging out in the kitchen~~emptying the pantry. Dude 1: "Whatever you do, don't...
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 24 Responses Jan 18, 2013

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    Oh Boy

    My 7 year old son was on the computer last night,  as I worked on dinner.  When he quit and went upstairs,  I jumped on to finish an article I had started earlier.  I clicked on my history and I see  "Google search....Big Boobs" He checked out a few pages.    Then I...
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 164 Responses Dec 7, 2009

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    Mr 7, The Life Of The Party

    Recently, my brother got married to his wonderful wife. At the reception, my partner brought over some drinks "There's one for daughter, one for you and .. hey son, could you look after this for me? Will be back with yours in a minute" Our son asked if that last drink was for him...
    helsbelsnz helsbelsnz 36-40, F Apr 17, 2012

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    Pete And Repeat

    My three year old caught me off guard today and had me laughing so hard my stomach hurt. At times when the boys do something really outrageous I say "That is UNACCEPTABLE!" I say it like that "UNACCEPTABLE!"Anyway, today they finished earning their stars for 'new bikes', new to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Mar 10, 2012

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    Daily Sentences

    One of the things my nephew is doing right now in home education is learning how to write proper sentences. Each day he writes about ten sentences with different focuses. Today he wrote ten sentences about his favorites such as his favorite food and favorite toy...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Apr 24, 2012

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    My lil girl , 18months old,

    imitates everything we do. It's always fun to watch.
    Cocopunch Cocopunch 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    "Do You Have A Penis Or Vagina?"

    Like me, my youngest has always enjoyed drawing and painting. When she was in pre-k she was fascinated with drawing people. One day I got a letter from her teacher asking for a parent teacher conference. My daughter was always at the top of her class, was advanced, and rarely got...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Nov 11, 2011

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    Da Bomb Diggity

    So I pop off with slang around my kids ... more than I prolly should. I just asked my oldest son who is 6 to do something for me and when he had finished I said "Thanks, I appreciate that very much." His response was "Mom, does that make me the bomb diggity now?" I started...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    Mommy Toot!

    One of my two year olds is fascinated with farts. He feels the need to not only announce his own, but call out other people when they break wind. Last week I had to take my twins to the grocery store to pick up some milk and dog food. My stomach had been upset and grumbling all...
    MommyGoneMad MommyGoneMad 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2011

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    Y'all Come Back Now, Ya Hear?

    Stinky's college was evacuated with a hurricane warnings. Football camp was shortened by a couple days, but my ball player was ready and glad to be able to come home. Last night as we drove back to school after having spent four days together laughing, we got down to serious talk...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 31, 2011

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    Teachers Have It Best

    Every year I have at least one who cracks me up. My favorite, Daniel. Cutest little mush! The upper grades (3-5) had to take a state exam and I told the class, after we lined up in the hallway, that because some older kids are taking a test we need to be quiet and not make a...
    khushali11 khushali11 26-30, F Oct 12, 2011

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    Communication "issues"

    I took my daughter to a Halloween party at a friend's house back in October.  The tables were set up to cut and/or color pumpkins, and there were candles everywhere.  This particular friend is a touring comic, and spends a lot of late nights partying with radio...
    unobserver unobserver 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 27, 2010

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    My Little Monkey!

    Jace is such a wild little thing! He's the funniest little thing! He likes to take his tonka truck and put Snow in it and bring it in the house and pour it all in the kitchen floor and he tries to make a snow angel in the kitchen! When he knows he's in trouble he looks at me or...
    EricaaaR EricaaaR 16-17, F Jan 14, 2012

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    My kid is funny. She runs into things all the

    time because she's too busy talking. She makes funny faces and dances like a weirdo.
    larisahhh larisahhh 26-30, F Jan 23

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    Valentine

    A couple of years ago, when my oldest son was three, he was working on an art project with my step-mother. She calls me up and says, Glow. I think you need to come see this. I'm not sure how to handle it... Oh God. What has he done now? I walk over to their house, and see...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 22 Responses Feb 14, 2010

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    Thirst

    I'm running around my house, trying to clean up after and cook for a 5-year-old, who is taking full advantage of my preoccupation.  I walk into my bedroom, and she is balanced on a chair over the fish tank with the top open and her juice box in hand.  "BOON," I scream...
    unobserver unobserver 31-35, F 7 Responses Feb 19, 2010

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    " The Whys And The Why Nots !"

    Whys and Why nots…. My husband has never refused the responsibility of the title disciplinarian. When our daughter was 5 years old, she was guilty of breaking a house rule , don’t remember what it was but Daddy stepped up to the plate to give his speech on the ”why and the...
    weedbychoice weedbychoice 66-70 Apr 11, 2012

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    *giggle*

    I just heard the following conversation between my 5-year-old and 3-year-old from the other room:   5: I'm a scientist. Scientists don't goof around like little children. 3: And I'm a red-eyed-tree frog. And I flip like little children. 5: You are little children. And you...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 8 Responses Feb 3, 2010

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    Mommy, I Have A Hole!

    When my oldest daughter was three, she came to me really concerned saying, "Mommy, I have a hole!". Baffled, I asked her to show me what she was talking about. After pointing to her private area, her issue became clear to me. Trying to contain my laughter, I told her, "honey, it...
    deleted deleted 26-30 12 Responses Jul 9, 2011

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    The Little Turkey

    I had forgotten about it until just now but yesterday I couldn't figure out why my oldest son seemed to be more hyper than usual. I mean, he was up and down and all around. This morning I went to the fridge and grabbed my new pumpkin rum flavored creamer to put in my coffee...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 19, 2011

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    Eat Your Vegetables! We enjoy eating at our

    house. All kinds of edibles. Some may call us "foodies." We love to cook, share recipes, food channel, all of it. A new ingredient or some piece of fancy cookware is reason for excitement. All three of our sons have grown up fearless, when it comes to trying something new...
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 9 Responses Feb 21

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    PG I don't got to a lot of movies at the

    theater. I am just not buying what Hollywood is selling. I am an Indie kind of girl. But every once in awhile something will catch my eye. Over the long holiday break, I decided I wanted to see "Saving Mr. Banks." Did I anticipate a mind blowing experience? Hell no, but...
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 10 Responses Jan 10

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    House Broken But Now to Potty Training

    I am potty training my two year old now.  We actually just started yesterday and he is doing great.  I put him in cotton training underpants.  He had one accident on the carpet.  Then every time he had to pee he would run in the kitchen to pee on the kitchen...
    NoGodsNoMasters NoGodsNoMasters 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 26, 2009

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    Early Morning Shuffle

    The little man's bus comes at 7:13 every morning.  The bus stop is just three houses down, we appreciate that.  Our visual que to leave each morning is Mrs. W. and her daughter, Sarah.  They live two houses up.  Every morning we see Sarah doing a walk/run...
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 20 Responses May 3, 2010

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    A Sign Of The Times

    My son and I get up really early to catch the school bus.  On a recent morning,  we were discussing an upcoming assignment.  He was to write five poems,  one for each of the five senses.  Okay. 1. Seeing 2. Hearing 3. Tasting 4. Smelling 5.  ??? Geez,  what's the 5th one...
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 12 Responses Apr 28, 2011

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    When my son was 5 he was due

    for a new pair of shoes and he didn't understand why we had to go shoe shopping, he said, "can't you download me some shoes?" he wasn't kidding either. lol. And couple weeks he told me that they ate "pie holes" at school. I'm sure he meant doughnut holes but I was laughing too...
    lauren71 lauren71 41-45, F 2 Responses May 14

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    Lessons Learned

    ~~~I'm not cheap.  I'm sensible.~~~ As my children grow into productive citizens of the world,  I see some of that sensibility peeking around corners.   My twin sons have lived in the dorms for the past three years.  It's been fun watching them figure...
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 51 Responses Jun 3, 2010

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    The Cost Of Being Older...

    So the Little Bird has finally started to take his responsibilities at school a little more seriously. First grade is tough, but he's really trying. (Not really, he's super smart, but he's finally decided to actually do his work instead of drawing detailed pictures of...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 5 Responses Mar 1, 2011

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    Where Do They Find These Things

    I have 2 kids one is a teen and one is a toddler, My teen walks up to little one the other day and says "give me five" little one reaches out to shake her hand, and she says " no give me five" and little one reaches to shake her hand again. Well finally my teen reaches to shake...
    specks77 specks77 36-40, F Jan 19, 2013

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    Problem Solved

    Last week my seven year old son had a really bad day at school.   For the sake of his second grade dignity,  I will not go into details.  Later that afternoon,  he went out into the middle of the yard and started digging a hole.  I let him dig. ...
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 59 Responses Oct 5, 2009

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    Decade Off?

    My 'kid' sent me this.  Been offered cream to make my skin look 10years younger in 10minutes. That would make me 14 and covered in teenage spots again.  Errmm.....No thanks
    avatarunknown avatarunknown 51-55, F 1 Response Jun 22, 2011

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    Give Me A Break

    Yesterday we planned a trip to a corn maze.  The little man really wanted his best friend to come along.  Sadly,  she couldn't make it.  She said she had to "work through some issues."   Yeah,  she's a bit of a live wire.  No...
    Lilt Lilt 46-50 27 Responses Nov 9, 2009

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    Giggles

    My son J-J always has me laughing ... I put him and his brother on the floor next to each other and they stare at each other than J-J would just start laughing he has such a silly funny laugh that makes everyone laugh and then he'll roll over and look at his feet than laugh again...
    Purplerain67 Purplerain67 13-15, F Aug 31, 2013

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    Jnr 2 .....

    has a plan , my wife and I are of to Florida for a week . Jnr 2 was on the phone asking his Anty if she was coming to stay, to  take him to the movies , fishing , to the football , oh and out for meals !!!! God love,s a tryer .........
    salar1 salar1 51-55, M 10 Responses May 5, 2010

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    Ca Ca

    My little girl likes to make fun if Lady Gaga by calling her Lady Ca Ca lol. I find it hilarious.
    howsab howsab 31-35, F Oct 4, 2011

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    Star Wars

    My daughter was playing with her Barbie dolls the other day.  All the dolls were having a girly chat, “oh nice shoes,” “ I love your dress” etc. when she picks up one Barbie and says “the force is strong in this one!"
    Vulcan45 Vulcan45 46-50, M 11 Responses Mar 25, 2010

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    Can't Go To School.

    My daughter is in pre-school.  Most mornings she is very excited to go, but sometimes she has a hard time, and protests.  This morning, she was demanding to watch Nemo.  I told her that we didn't have time because it was a school day, and she had to get ready to...
    unobserver unobserver 31-35, F 10 Responses Feb 5, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    Some people shouldn't have kids. I see a lot of adults Letting their kids walk behind them. The kids look about 1-3 years old. What I feel like doing taking their kid and see what...
    lorrena19 lorrena19 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 1

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    I just think it's ridiculous how some horrible people are blessed enough to have kids but mistreat them when there are amazing people who would make amazing parents but can't have...
    littlefighter littlefighter 13-15, F 7 Responses Aug 9