I Have a Mental Illness

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 12,369 People

    update still feel worse

    than i did before i went to the dr. I know it will take time, i know. But i just don't get why I feel worse??? i keep hearing that it takes time, i get that. I have done everything I was told to do, even though I really almost just said screw it last night, I did what i was...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Mar 19, 2016

    i guess I should update.

    .. Things are still pretty screwed up. I still am not in control of my emotions . I'm still crying for no reason...And I just feel so damn tired....dead tired. Like walking through mud, then stepping into quicksand....drowning and tired. I just want to feel better again so bad. I...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Mar 18, 2016

    So I've been on both Zoloft

    and Ativan for about 3 weeks now. I have psychotic depression and PTSD. Here's my experience so far. Zoloft- Week 1: Started on 25 mg once every morning. First few days rough. Anxiety amplified. It's kind of like it removed the limit to my anxiety that would stop me from going...
    Hush92 Hush92
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Mar 17, 2016

    Anybody here ever have the idea of just cutting

    something, doing something drastic like cutting all of your hair off (i don't mean body parts, i wouldn't tell you that, i'd just do it lol) but seriously, for a little while now i have felt like just chopping away at it and i don't know why. It's always been at or near my waist...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 17, 2016

    ok so to those of you

    who have been keeping up with me (thank you) I will apologize in advance because I am pissed off and probably will come across in some kind of offensive way. I expected to not be feeling awesome overnight. Many of you told me that. I get that. But this is b*llsh*t. I feel worse...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Mar 16, 2016
    Hush92 Hush92
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Mar 15, 2016

    I made it there guys

    and gals! Granted, I had to stop and throw up from the anxiety of it all, but I finally made it. It wasn't AS bad as I thought it would be. So the psychiatrist thinks I have bipolar ll that has gone undiagnosed for some time now. I told him that I wanted to stop taking the...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Mar 15, 2016

    Off to never ever land.

    ... i carry an ounce of hope and a little white dove in my pocket to go with me to symbolize flying away FREE.. i'll tell ya all about it later.
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 15, 2016

    Ok, so tomorrow's the big day.

    ...i'm trying very hard to stay positive and remember that I'm walking forward, not backwards anymore. Saying this is not easy would be an understatement. Yes, I am still full of all of the dreadful feelings I've been having. I doubt i'll sleep again tonight. But I can't let...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 14, 2016

    You wake up not knowing what ground your feet

    will land on. The bright, the dark or the one between. (Cyclothymia)
    unconventional87 unconventional87
    26-30, F
    Mar 11, 2016

    honestly, today has been just a big dark black

    hole of nothingness. i am so tired. i am also pretty sure that ugly remarks my "roomate" keeps making, taking jabs at what im going through like i can help it. he says i just need to "break up out of this sh*t and be strong and stop being so weak". granted our relationship is...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    Mar 10, 2016

    There are things I forget to post about me.

    Like how I have delusional psychosis. I take medicine for it. So I guess it's under control. Of course, I do have my days where it's not under control and I just lose it. I've lost days. Gaps in my memory. The forces that mock me in my head they toy with me. And... It scares me...
    Darktooth41 Darktooth41
    22-25, M
    Mar 9, 2016

    Normally, when I feel really bad,

    there is no mindset i can possibly force myself into to get myself out of bed. Today, however, I actually managed to get out of bed, and do ALL of my school work at school! I was actually CONFUSED with myself. I wasn't constantly thinking, "I wanna go home" all day long, even...
    theactualme theactualme
    16-17, F
    Mar 9, 2016

    sometimes I feel lonelier

    and lonelier. today is that day when u just wanna cuddle up to you and just sleep and maybe cry if I need to... being alone so much behind 4 white walls with no human interaction can take a HUGE toll on the brain. and I think I've driven myself off the edge. or I'm close...
    mentallyhigh mentallyhigh
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 9, 2016

    i hardly slept at all last night just thinking

    about having to leave home again today. I kept tossing and turning and sweating profusely for some reason (im guessing just from anxiety?) So I finally get up and have my little fit as I call it, really a full on panic attack. After that, I finally made (with lots of praying...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 9, 2016

    I saw my doctor today.

    I explained that I thought that the anxiety med i was on was making me feel so awful. He was more than understanding! It was such a relief to know that he's behind me through all of this. He recommended a slow taper, which is best. He also gave me a drug test that came back...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Mar 8, 2016

    I have struggled with generalised anxiety

    disorder and depression all of my life. it just keeps getting worse as I get older. I'd always just thought to myself if I can just get through school I'll make it (as a lot of you know that school can be an awful place if you have a mental illness, especially anxiety) but now...
    madeline979 madeline979
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Mar 8, 2016

    The thing with depression is

    that it lowers your mood threshold. Like a normal person has a mood range of happy to sad. Occasionally if something awful happens it may move to really sad. When you're depressed, your mood range is from apathetic to life is literally unbearable. Today I'm on the higher end...
    Hush92 Hush92
    22-25, F
    Mar 8, 2016

    I want to here stories about times you have

    been to the mental hospital. What got you there, if it was scary, did it help you, who you met there,anything that you want to share. If you would like to chat about it message me and we can share.
    Dahlia86 Dahlia86
    31-35, F
    1 Response Mar 7, 2016

    Tomorrow is my big day!

    The day I go see the doctor. I am super anxious and panicky. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as to HOW I talk to him about all of this and especially advice about how to approach the fact that i believe this clonazepam is making me feel this way, almost like my brain...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 7, 2016

    So I made it another day!

    I am having a very foggy but anxiety filled day. I will be so glad when this is over. I just want to feel joy again, not sad, hopeless, lonely, afraid and all the other things that have taken over. Im trapped, but anxiously trapped....and stuck, stuck in a fog so thick i can't...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    Mar 6, 2016

    anxiety and ptsd. I control it with meditation

    and yoga :) and keeping busy
    siciliana88 siciliana88
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 4, 2016

    My doctor has been treating me

    for anxiety for several years with clonazepam. I take it as prescribed and always have. Lately, I've been feeling like something just isn't right and have reached out for help. In doing so, I ran across a lot of information about long term use of this drug. Many of the people...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Mar 4, 2016

    Last night there was a child sitting in front

    of my closet door. They were naked, gaunt and bony, with long wispy hair. They had their arms around their legs and were hunched over. For some reason when I looked at this child I thought "Your problems aren't as bad as you think they are." The child looked at me for a moment...
    Hush92 Hush92
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 4, 2016

    Okay so now that I've finally agreed to see a

    psychiatrist, went through all the insurance stuff to see who i could go to, then my GP recommends and refers me to one that he says he thinks can really help me. So, I call to make appt with him only to be told that they have to review my "case" and then will let me know if...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 2, 2016

    I don't know what it's called

    but I will be finally talking to a psychiatrist soon for the first time. I am absolutley terrified at the thought of going but I know something is wrong and i can't take it anymore. I am at a place where i will die if I don't. Thats why I joined here cause i was looking for...
    DaydreamingSleepwalker DaydreamingSleepwalker
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Mar 1, 2016

    I just discovered something that's completely

    changed my perspective. I have always felt a great deal of shame around my PTSD because it came from things I experienced during psychotic episodes. I hated myself for being disturbed and traumatized by things that weren't even real and were coming from my head. But I just found...
    Hush92 Hush92
    22-25, F
    Mar 1, 2016

    Anxiety, depression, insomnia

    and possibly bipolar. Still hoping someone can calm me down and stroke my hair till I fall asleep
    LonelyWolf1 LonelyWolf1
    18-21, M
    Feb 29, 2016

    Today is the first day I didn't experience any

    heightened anxiety symptoms from my Zoloft!! I guess there's still some time left in the day but I haven't had anything, didn't even wake up with it. No racing heart or trembling or anything. Nice! I've actually felt decent today. I admit I've felt somewhat spacy, and I have...
    Hush92 Hush92
    22-25, F
    Feb 29, 2016

    I definitely had a very wrong idea of what

    benzodiazepines were. I thought they would be like tranquilizers basically, that were highly addictive. While they do have the potential to become addictive, I am impressed with how Atavan is working for me. I have had issues with sleep my whole life but due to my episode for...
    Hush92 Hush92
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 29, 2016

    I'd never had a manic episode,

    tho I've struggled with PTSD, anxiety and depression for 20+ years. After an especially hard 3 years, including 4 hospital stays, I I finally felt my depression starting to lift last year. And now, without my depression holding me down, my anxiety has spiked thru the roof...
    AreYouLonelyToo AreYouLonelyToo
    70+, F
    Feb 28, 2016

    I have recently been diagnosed with a mild form

    of bipolar disorder (Cyclothymia). I felt relieved becaused it explained a lot to me. I was kinda lost, suffering and trying to figure out what was wrong with me. However, it came like a chock to me and i feel scared and sad knowing that i have a brain disorder. I talked to my...
    unconventional87 unconventional87
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Feb 27, 2016

    Hello all. I'm 30. I have major depressive

    disorder, anxiety, previously diagnosed with ADD in my childhood years. Most days I'm unhappy. Rarely(only a few times a year Mabye) do I actually wake up happy and see the sunshine.
    booknerdintrovert booknerdintrovert
    31-35
    1 Response Feb 25, 2016

    ALRIGHT. Today was a busy day.

    Good news!! Today I felt like I came out of the worst of my episode. I feel like I am almost always depressed but in episodes the depression becomes incredibly extreme to the point where it is very difficult for me to function and I have suicidal urges. I just walked out of...
    Hush92 Hush92
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 25, 2016

    my ocd is annoying, i have to touch an object

    multiple times just to know that its real or its there... and playing computer games sometimes irritates me... i love playing but... ocd why.
    TheQueeens TheQueeens
    18-21, F
    Feb 25, 2016

    I feel horribly depressed tonight,

    I'm not sure why. i can't talk about it the way I want to the person I wanna say it too.--I feel so nasty and disgusting. I'm trying to sleep and i just keep thinking of these gross things about myself. how unladylike I feel and sometimes look and act. how uncomfortable I...
    mentallyhigh mentallyhigh
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 25, 2016

    I feel like screaming to the top of my fcking

    lungs. I hate my mind sometimes. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I hate reading stuff that makes me jealous. I hate the fact that u left it get me there. I hate the fact that I can't hang out with friends because I barely have any. I hate that I'm such an outcast. sometimes I...
    mentallyhigh mentallyhigh
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 23, 2016

    I've been taking medication

    for depression since 2008. I also have other issues that I haven't talked about with a professional. I'm obsessive and compulsive, I have a problem with anger, I regularly think about suicide, and I am almost always tearing off skin from my hands and feet.
    Jononymous Jononymous
    26-30, M
    Feb 23, 2016

    Being someone with schizophrenia my delusions

    are hard to explain. I learn the word apophenia which is the human tendency to perceive meaningful patterns within random data. I experience delusions that appears like revelations. Another word is hindsight bias aka knew it all along. That is where after an event you feel like...
    Dahlia86 Dahlia86
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Feb 22, 2016

    I'm 19 and corrently a college student in my

    second semester as a freshman. When I was in 5th grade, my perspective of life has changed greatly. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and placed on the highest end of the autism spectrum. I also have ADD, I guess causing me to experience life much differently than I'd...
    pachipachirisu pachipachirisu
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 21, 2016

    I'm soon to be 45, been diagnosed with

    depression, anxiety & panic disorders. I grew up in an alcoholic house & at wound up in a coma @ 16 so my mind is truly screwed. been sober 11 months & am still struggling ...
    Bbwasssniffer Bbwasssniffer
    46-50, M
    3 Responses Feb 20, 2016
    kittenmajor kittenmajor
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Feb 20, 2016

    happening most of the time

    but people around me treat it like its normal.
    TheQueeens TheQueeens
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 16, 2016

    Last night I told someone in my life about my

    psychotic disorder for the first time ever. She responded really well. She didn't really know anything about psychotic disorders and wanted to learn more about them because her brother had also been diagnosed with one. We talked for a while. She promised she would stay my friend...
    Hush92 Hush92
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 13, 2016

    Normally I am in pain.

    Being in pain is like a default state for me. I do not enjoy my life. I feel trapped and stagnated almost constantly. My brain cycles through numerous things that remind me of why I am so unhappy. A lot of times it has to do with thinking of my dreams, where I am an ultra...
    Hush92 Hush92
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 12, 2016

    I need some advice from other people

    who have been through the mental health system and have been diagnosed with mental disorders. When I was diagnosed, it did not feel official to me. It didn't really feel professional. When I was first diagnosed, I went to go see a psychiatrist. All she did was ask me a bunch of...
    Hush92 Hush92
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Feb 12, 2016

    I suffer from PTSD. My grandma constantly makes

    fun of me and tells me to get over it. That it's all in my head. I can't take it anymore.
    NightshadesSnowflake NightshadesSnowflake
    16-17, F
    1 Response Feb 12, 2016

    I think I have schizophrenia,

    but I cannot talk to my psychiatrist about it, nor any of my family. I have a fear of doctors. I don't know what to do.
    Dawhead Dawhead
    16-17, M
    5 Responses Feb 9, 2016

    I have just been diagnosed a couple weeks ago

    with anxiety disorder and adjustment disorder although i have had anxiety since a kid. I also deal with dissociation due to my anxiety but, lately I have been really encouraged to fight the Stigma against Mental Health and it kills me that nobody talks about it. Everyone who...
    AnxiousNoodle AnxiousNoodle
    22-25, F
    Feb 9, 2016

    I've been off of medication

    for several months. I went cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant. It was amazing not to be on meds and feel "normal". When I lost my baby I was numb, I couldn't cry. Now I'm back to being up and down. I have a mild form of bipolar and I think I need to go back on them. I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 8, 2016

    I'm not so sure about this

    but after i read many articles and medical site i think i suffer from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). It caused by unpleasant or grisly experience and also violence. When i was young, i often saw my dad hit my mom. But know they've been nice to each other. Though it...
    elishahr elishahr
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Feb 8, 2016

    I don't get mad or sad anymore.

    My friend and stepbrothers make me laugh, but that's about it. I have been a hermit or recluse whatever the word is for about 15 years now I have very severe mental illness's like a some of people do too. I'm to scared to talk to strangers in person so I thought I'd try this.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Feb 5, 2016

    I learned a knew word

    that is effecting me right now. Indefatigable incapable of being tired out; not yielding to fatigue; untiring.
    Dahlia86 Dahlia86
    31-35, F
    Feb 3, 2016

    I developed a mental illness

    while I was at psychological ward that was supposed to help me.
    TowerJimmyDabzs TowerJimmyDabzs
    36-40, M
    1 Response Feb 1, 2016

    I don't know if I have a mental illness

    but I suffer from anxiety and don't like taking tablets for it as it will make me feel funny I have trouble taking medication only ibuprofen or paracetamol or I'll start pannicing I worry about everything I don't like my daughter earing lolly pops couse she might shoke I just...
    Pszkit1990 Pszkit1990
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jan 29, 2016

    I literally hate change

    so much, I get a little upset when the seasons change. -_-
    haileyx3 haileyx3
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Jan 28, 2016

    Saw my councillor today,

    agreeing to see him is possibly one of the best things I have done for myself. He wants me to have a psychiatric assessment, up my dosage of fluoxetine and get anti-psychotics too, based on the psychiatric's assessment. He's done his job for 25 years now, he makes me feel like...
    EverlyLeex EverlyLeex
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 27, 2016

    Woke up with absolutely no motivation to do

    anything. I don't want to be here. I can't face leaving the house and pretending to be happy at my evening class tonight. I just can't do it. I just feel completely blank, empty and lifeless. There's really no other way to explain it than those three words. The feeling is so...
    EverlyLeex EverlyLeex
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 26, 2016

    Hey I was recently diagnosed with Psychosis

    after spending some time in a mental ward I was wondering if anyone has had this illness and what it's been like for them dealing with it any advice would be appreciated, thanks lonelybunnixo
    Lonelybunnixo Lonelybunnixo
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 25, 2016

    TRIGGER WARNING!!! I don't really understand

    why people self harm on their wrists instead of on thighs or some other place where people are less likely to see? Maybe not as much blood but it could just be done more to the same effect on thighs? Sorry this is a very morbid question and I'm sorry if I offended anyone by this...
    Dawhead Dawhead
    16-17, M
    2 Responses Jan 25, 2016
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