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I Have a Monster

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 124 People

    Shock

    My husband of 27years ago walked out on me 5 weeks ago while I was at work came home to a noteWe had been having problems over the last two years then recently he had an operation for cancer I thought it would bring us closer,but once he came right he was gone
    Soffeesue Soffeesue 61-65 1 Response Sep 2, 2011

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    My Very Own Monster

    I have a monster that goes and comes. I never see it coming and it makes me feel numb. It taunts me and teases, telling me Im not good enough, some days it's easy with me and some, it's pretty rough. I fight my monster every time it arrives, it cuts me with it's imaginary...
    soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 20, 2013

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    Beast of Black Pike

    Oh my god...it is true,it is all true. Travels upright,175 pounds,vocalizes with screams & mutterings...has a face that has human like qualities with intelligence in it's eyes. ...travels with the biggest racoon anyone has ever seen! First you see the racoon and then the...
    PeaceOnEarth PeaceOnEarth 46-50, F 4 Responses Jun 16, 2008

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    I'm Sure I Have Many.

    They only come out on nights like tonight... but when they show up, it's bad.  It's always bad.  Tonight, it's particularly awful.  Nights like this, there is no peace, only torment.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 2, 2008

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    But How?

    Dieing with-in my soul is so painful to watch Knowing I need to live, but how? So much was destroyed, so much was taken How do we go on, how do we move on It is said the past is the past, so leave it there. Okay, tell me how? I want to live a life. I look around a see every-ones...
    melz1108 melz1108 26-30, F Feb 3, 2011

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    My Monster

      My monster is sometimes my friend… adding to my creativity, allowing me to function days on end with little to no sleep, giving me the power to stand up for what I believe and voice my opinion, allowing me to live life the way it should be lived, with joy, hope...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 7 Responses Jul 17, 2007

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    Today I Died...

      Today I died, just gave up hope. I jumped, fired, sliced, swallowed whatever I needed to escape… and yet I’m here, breathing, barely functioning, a shadow of myself. Today I died, I gave control to the monster… to puppet as he chooses, taking me from...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 6 Responses Jul 17, 2007

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    Tools

    She goes through life never knowing left from right love from hate warmth from cold. She is expected to a productive member of society, With no one ever telling her how. Never giving her the tools to know the differenences in feelings and how to feel more than one at a...
    melz1108 melz1108 26-30, F Jan 23, 2011

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    Hi Honey I'm Home... Did Ya Miss Me?

    He says casually as he strolls into my head. "I'm back and here to take over... life's been to easy for you the past few days and I wanted to come stir things up a bit." I try to push him out, I fight him with all my might. Maybe if I take another pill it will help...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 4 Responses Sep 11, 2007

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    My Monster

    My "Monster" is the family cat. His real name is Cisco but I call him "Crisco" because he has cream colored yellowish tipped hair and is a little ball of blubber from eating the dog's food. His favorite spot is a cavity underneath the last stair in ...
    keepingwarm keepingwarm 31-35 1 Response Jan 4, 2008

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    Clutter Brain

    my clutter brain I say my, comatose state of mine squeak, squeak, squeak fining my words to speak nothing but cries, cries of many trying to escape a child born not knowing grow, my sweets, grow only to be smashed by hate grow, my friend, grow only to be buried by lies...
    melz1108 melz1108 26-30, F Jan 31, 2011

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    Try Again

    I call on the demon from down below Please come up and take my soul It is no longer needed for no one else cares I was in need of love but no one would share I call on the spirit please hear my cries I am tired of living surrounded by lies I need to be happy I need to be...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 5 Responses Sep 8, 2007

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    I Love Monsters

    but they are in extinction.
    Thought1 Thought1 22-25 3 Responses Jun 25, 2009

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    My Monster

    My monster is not abusive nor is it passion. It is simply that i tear away at myself i love pain. Cuts, gashes, bits anything it brings me to my knees it is the pain that sets me off and lets it go. If you understand what a Sado-masochist is then you understand me
    PeopleTreatMeLikeCrap PeopleTreatMeLikeCrap 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 21, 2010

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    Under My Bed!

    I have a monster it lives under my bed I don't let it out often because he eats people I have to keep him well hidden or friends will  Run in fear I have a monster under my bed I need him and he needs me  We share the same thoughts  And the desire to eat people I have a...
    cutout cutout 26-30 5 Responses Oct 15, 2011

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    Sophisticated Hate

    Sophisticated conversations held around the dinner table Similar to a royal family. Only speaking of what is wrong with everyone else and never why. Especially never what could be wrong with your self. Only what you have done, and how you can never act that way, "it is not lady...
    melz1108 melz1108 26-30, F Dec 31, 2010

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    Monstrous Passion

    I am a gentleman through and through but what you don't see in the raging inferno of carefully repressed passion and a blazing hot intense sexuality that could give the sun a run for it's money. That is my monster, my passion - no not the trouserpython but what lies behind it. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Dec 16, 2009

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    Oh Yes!! The Monster Inside!!

    constantly telling me im not good enough, and im a lowlife and a failure!!! time for me to try and fight the monster inside i think!!!
    cowshed123 cowshed123 31-35, M 1 Response Oct 24, 2010

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    Shakespeare's Shadow

    This time, I won't be pushing you away I have tried that countless times and felt the dismay Pausing to think, perhaps you have something to say Other than turning my sparkles into mere grey. Pleasing yourself, you come and you go Only because there is little that I know But...
    Sylphy Sylphy 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 9, 2012

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    We've All Got Monsters...

    Some are big. Some are small. Some are so loud you can't ignore them and some are shy little things that hide away, whispering. We've all got monsters. Monsters like to hide away in places you don't want to go, the dark alleys of your heart and mind where the secrets are...
    Yoru Yoru 18-21 1 Response Nov 15, 2011

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    The Death of Peace

    I have a Monster. I suspect it rages in the heart of every man. I have taken mine and locked it deep, chained in the darkest of places in the hope that it does not tread on a spirit that once desired to be only gentle, caring and giving; loving. But as the years go by, and the...
    TheTardyDodo TheTardyDodo 31-35, M 19 Responses Jul 17, 2007

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    Norm

    Physical wounds have healed, emotional not so much. This deep blackness that is within absorbs all that is good. I have never known another way of living and now I am supposed to find a way to be "normal" or the new normal. I have no happy place within my soul, I have searched...
    melz1108 melz1108 26-30, F Jan 23, 2011

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    I Am the Monster Inside

    My brain tells me to do bad things. It tells me to hurt people, to hurt the people who hurt me. It tells me I'll feel better after I punish them. My brain tells me to hurt people who have never hurt me, to punish them for what they might do one day. It tells me I'll be saving...
    eyes eyes 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 14, 2007

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    Excess

    I have a monster inside.  It desires terrible things.  When I am alone, or with people, it is asleep, or waiting.  I'm not sure.  It only gets to come out when I've drank too much or am under some substance's influence. It wants me to hurt people...
    flirtswithdisaster flirtswithdisaster 26-30, M 11 Responses Aug 18, 2007

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    The Demon I Call My Friend

    They live within me, craving all the bad things. They want hate so I hate others. They want pain, so I hurt others to watch their tears. They want anger so I lash out. They want blood so I slit my wrists. They want perfection so I shove my fingers down my throat. They want my...
    Veronica4 Veronica4 18-21, F 1 Response May 31, 2011

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    Still Hunting....

    Let me say that I don't actually have a monster...yet.But I have been hot on the trail of one for a couple of years now.It lives in the southeast and has been seen by reliable witnesses.This monster beast is five feet tall and covered with fur.It travels with a huge racoon. Stop...
    PeaceOnEarth PeaceOnEarth 46-50, F 8 Responses Nov 5, 2007

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    Shrek...

    That one line...the one where he says "ogres are like onions" Does that make me an onion? 'Cuz I really have to empathize with that statement. So many pieces of me spread across so many layers, peeling away in some places and whole in others. And my deepest layers...those are...
    GoldLikeAutumn GoldLikeAutumn 13-15 Nov 15, 2011

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    My Monster

    Not really. He's never truly dead. But all the same he is indeed a monster. I never knew he would sneak up on me like he had. I actually for a while thought my life was normal for a bit. Before he came and reminded me of everything that went wrong. Reminded me of what a freak I...
    Naelextip Naelextip 18-21, F Jun 12, 2013

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    My Monster

    you know it's there it haunts you in your dreams turning everything good into horrible directions it makes you feel awful things about yourself, your friends, your life, everything you know it's there when everything is good you don't relax because you know it's there it...
    daydreamer27 daydreamer27 16-17, F May 21, 2013

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    Awakening Creature

    By day, my life is peaceful & full of serenity. But, by night, the creature is released from its prison & takes over. In the morning, the taste of blood runs around my mouth but don't where it came from. The sun is what the creature fears & comes out when the moon is shown. The...
    HikariNoSukai HikariNoSukai 16-17, F Jul 11, 2010

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    My Monster

    Some days ( like todays ) I have victory's , some days I dont. I will win the battle.
    tootiemcfruity tootiemcfruity 18-21, F Dec 31, 2011

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    A Wrinkle In Time

    The layers surround her little world a world of pain pain penetrating her layer by layer penetrating her innocence innocence never known by her little world Known as life to her life that she has always struggled to love always feeling cheated feeling within layers of her despair...
    melz1108 melz1108 26-30, F Nov 18, 2010

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    I always considered myself as a man. Except for one thing, I wanted to have women's breasts. 11 months ago I came across Transfemme resource. I decided to try this product for a...
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    I am cheating on my girlfriend with my ex the problem is I have always loved my ex but she cheated on me that's why we broke and now am doing the same thing I thought that I don't...
    AlanGeorge21 AlanGeorge21 22-25, M 33 mins ago

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    I wish I wouldn´t have a heart so nobody could hurt me again.
    Loretta78 Loretta78 36-40, F 1 hr ago

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    Hi, I get the feeling you found what I posted last time... and I must say I am totally embarrassed to be posting online like this. But, it's the only way I can communicate with you...
    bluebird144 bluebird144 22-25, F 2 hrs ago

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    Most people on EP find this very hard to believe, but I promise you all that I have no friends outside of EP lol. Literally, I have none, nada, zip, zilch, zero. If I were to die...
    PrinceStrawHat PrinceStrawHat 18-21, M 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    I can't sleep, I've been up all night and now it's early morning and I have to baby sit my niece and nephew. Being tired while baby sitting two head strong ms.rebellious and mr...
    Lhokw Lhokw 18-21, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    Once upon a time, there was a girl I met online. She spoke dutch. I liked her very much.The end.Nah, just kidding:) We must continue to make this story fitting.I still know her...
    nightowl007 nightowl007 22-25, M 2 hrs ago

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    It's been about three weeks now and I still haven't gotten a letter, I'm wondering if this is normal because I'm starting to lose hope. I knew I wouldn't hear from him for awhile...
    Bonneyshattuck Bonneyshattuck 18-21, F 3 hrs ago

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    I have cut myself before but it was only by accident. I was throwing a coke can full of sand at a rock for the second time and slice my finger open completely :( all that hard work...
    CD51031 CD51031 13-15, F 3 hrs ago

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    I know people say "We Are human and we make mistakes" but everyday, I think about the things I've done in the past. I've tried to be someone I wasn't, hung around with the wrong...
    WeirdOtaku WeirdOtaku 18-21, F 4 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I was once sexually abused by my former gynecologist. I was very young & couldn't believe what was happening to me. I was totally frozen. I never told anyone. Plus, I didn't have...
    Bluetangerine Bluetangerine 46-50, F 4 hrs ago

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