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I Have a Monster

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 123 People

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    I call on the demon from down below Please come up and take my soul It is no longer needed for no one else cares I was in need of love but no one would share I call on the spirit please hear my cries I am tired of living surrounded by lies I need to be happy I need to be...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 5 Responses Sep 8, 2007

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    Today I Died...

      Today I died, just gave up hope. I jumped, fired, sliced, swallowed whatever I needed to escape… and yet I’m here, breathing, barely functioning, a shadow of myself. Today I died, I gave control to the monster… to puppet as he chooses, taking me from...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 6 Responses Jul 17, 2007

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    Awakening Creature

    By day, my life is peaceful & full of serenity. But, by night, the creature is released from its prison & takes over. In the morning, the taste of blood runs around my mouth but don't where it came from. The sun is what the creature fears & comes out when the moon is shown. The...
    HikariNoSukai HikariNoSukai 16-17, F Jul 11, 2010

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    My Monster

    Not really. He's never truly dead. But all the same he is indeed a monster. I never knew he would sneak up on me like he had. I actually for a while thought my life was normal for a bit. Before he came and reminded me of everything that went wrong. Reminded me of what a freak I...
    Naelextip Naelextip 18-21, F Jun 12, 2013

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    My Very Own Monster

    I have a monster that goes and comes. I never see it coming and it makes me feel numb. It taunts me and teases, telling me Im not good enough, some days it's easy with me and some, it's pretty rough. I fight my monster every time it arrives, it cuts me with it's imaginary...
    soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 20, 2013

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    We've All Got Monsters...

    Some are big. Some are small. Some are so loud you can't ignore them and some are shy little things that hide away, whispering. We've all got monsters. Monsters like to hide away in places you don't want to go, the dark alleys of your heart and mind where the secrets are...
    Yoru Yoru 18-21 1 Response Nov 15, 2011

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    Tools

    She goes through life never knowing left from right love from hate warmth from cold. She is expected to a productive member of society, With no one ever telling her how. Never giving her the tools to know the differenences in feelings and how to feel more than one at a...
    melz1108 melz1108 26-30, F Jan 23, 2011

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    I Am the Monster Inside

    My brain tells me to do bad things. It tells me to hurt people, to hurt the people who hurt me. It tells me I'll feel better after I punish them. My brain tells me to hurt people who have never hurt me, to punish them for what they might do one day. It tells me I'll be saving...
    eyes eyes 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 14, 2007

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    My Monster

    you know it's there it haunts you in your dreams turning everything good into horrible directions it makes you feel awful things about yourself, your friends, your life, everything you know it's there when everything is good you don't relax because you know it's there it...
    daydreamer27 daydreamer27 16-17, F May 21, 2013

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    I Love Monsters

    but they are in extinction.
    Thought1 Thought1 22-25 3 Responses Jun 25, 2009

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    A Wrinkle In Time

    The layers surround her little world a world of pain pain penetrating her layer by layer penetrating her innocence innocence never known by her little world Known as life to her life that she has always struggled to love always feeling cheated feeling within layers of her despair...
    melz1108 melz1108 26-30, F Nov 18, 2010

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    Norm

    Physical wounds have healed, emotional not so much. This deep blackness that is within absorbs all that is good. I have never known another way of living and now I am supposed to find a way to be "normal" or the new normal. I have no happy place within my soul, I have searched...
    melz1108 melz1108 26-30, F Jan 23, 2011

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    My Monster

    My monster is not abusive nor is it passion. It is simply that i tear away at myself i love pain. Cuts, gashes, bits anything it brings me to my knees it is the pain that sets me off and lets it go. If you understand what a Sado-masochist is then you understand me
    PeopleTreatMeLikeCrap PeopleTreatMeLikeCrap 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 21, 2010

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    Under My Bed!

    I have a monster it lives under my bed I don't let it out often because he eats people I have to keep him well hidden or friends will  Run in fear I have a monster under my bed I need him and he needs me  We share the same thoughts  And the desire to eat people I have a...
    cutout cutout 26-30 5 Responses Oct 15, 2011

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    Shock

    My husband of 27years ago walked out on me 5 weeks ago while I was at work came home to a noteWe had been having problems over the last two years then recently he had an operation for cancer I thought it would bring us closer,but once he came right he was gone
    Soffeesue Soffeesue 61-65 1 Response Sep 2, 2011

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    Still Hunting....

    Let me say that I don't actually have a monster...yet.But I have been hot on the trail of one for a couple of years now.It lives in the southeast and has been seen by reliable witnesses.This monster beast is five feet tall and covered with fur.It travels with a huge racoon. Stop...
    PeaceOnEarth PeaceOnEarth 46-50, F 8 Responses Nov 5, 2007

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    My Monster

    My "Monster" is the family cat. His real name is Cisco but I call him "Crisco" because he has cream colored yellowish tipped hair and is a little ball of blubber from eating the dog's food. His favorite spot is a cavity underneath the last stair in ...
    keepingwarm keepingwarm 31-35 1 Response Jan 4, 2008

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    But How?

    Dieing with-in my soul is so painful to watch Knowing I need to live, but how? So much was destroyed, so much was taken How do we go on, how do we move on It is said the past is the past, so leave it there. Okay, tell me how? I want to live a life. I look around a see every-ones...
    melz1108 melz1108 26-30, F Feb 3, 2011

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    The Death of Peace

    I have a Monster. I suspect it rages in the heart of every man. I have taken mine and locked it deep, chained in the darkest of places in the hope that it does not tread on a spirit that once desired to be only gentle, caring and giving; loving. But as the years go by, and the...
    TheTardyDodo TheTardyDodo 31-35, M 19 Responses Jul 17, 2007

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    Oh Yes!! The Monster Inside!!

    constantly telling me im not good enough, and im a lowlife and a failure!!! time for me to try and fight the monster inside i think!!!
    cowshed123 cowshed123 31-35, M 1 Response Oct 24, 2010

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    I'm Sure I Have Many.

    They only come out on nights like tonight... but when they show up, it's bad.  It's always bad.  Tonight, it's particularly awful.  Nights like this, there is no peace, only torment.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 2, 2008

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    Beast of Black Pike

    Oh my god...it is true,it is all true. Travels upright,175 pounds,vocalizes with screams & mutterings...has a face that has human like qualities with intelligence in it's eyes. ...travels with the biggest racoon anyone has ever seen! First you see the racoon and then the...
    PeaceOnEarth PeaceOnEarth 46-50, F 4 Responses Jun 16, 2008

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    Sophisticated Hate

    Sophisticated conversations held around the dinner table Similar to a royal family. Only speaking of what is wrong with everyone else and never why. Especially never what could be wrong with your self. Only what you have done, and how you can never act that way, "it is not lady...
    melz1108 melz1108 26-30, F Dec 31, 2010

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    My Monster

      My monster is sometimes my friend… adding to my creativity, allowing me to function days on end with little to no sleep, giving me the power to stand up for what I believe and voice my opinion, allowing me to live life the way it should be lived, with joy, hope...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 7 Responses Jul 17, 2007

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    Excess

    I have a monster inside.  It desires terrible things.  When I am alone, or with people, it is asleep, or waiting.  I'm not sure.  It only gets to come out when I've drank too much or am under some substance's influence. It wants me to hurt people...
    flirtswithdisaster flirtswithdisaster 26-30, M 11 Responses Aug 18, 2007

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    Monstrous Passion

    I am a gentleman through and through but what you don't see in the raging inferno of carefully repressed passion and a blazing hot intense sexuality that could give the sun a run for it's money. That is my monster, my passion - no not the trouserpython but what lies behind it. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Dec 16, 2009

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    My Monster

    Some days ( like todays ) I have victory's , some days I dont. I will win the battle.
    tootiemcfruity tootiemcfruity 18-21, F Dec 31, 2011

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    Shrek...

    That one line...the one where he says "ogres are like onions" Does that make me an onion? 'Cuz I really have to empathize with that statement. So many pieces of me spread across so many layers, peeling away in some places and whole in others. And my deepest layers...those are...
    GoldLikeAutumn GoldLikeAutumn 13-15 Nov 15, 2011

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    The Demon I Call My Friend

    They live within me, craving all the bad things. They want hate so I hate others. They want pain, so I hurt others to watch their tears. They want anger so I lash out. They want blood so I slit my wrists. They want perfection so I shove my fingers down my throat. They want my...
    Veronica4 Veronica4 18-21, F 1 Response May 31, 2011

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    Clutter Brain

    my clutter brain I say my, comatose state of mine squeak, squeak, squeak fining my words to speak nothing but cries, cries of many trying to escape a child born not knowing grow, my sweets, grow only to be smashed by hate grow, my friend, grow only to be buried by lies...
    melz1108 melz1108 26-30, F Jan 31, 2011

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    Hi Honey I'm Home... Did Ya Miss Me?

    He says casually as he strolls into my head. "I'm back and here to take over... life's been to easy for you the past few days and I wanted to come stir things up a bit." I try to push him out, I fight him with all my might. Maybe if I take another pill it will help...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 4 Responses Sep 11, 2007

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    Shakespeare's Shadow

    This time, I won't be pushing you away I have tried that countless times and felt the dismay Pausing to think, perhaps you have something to say Other than turning my sparkles into mere grey. Pleasing yourself, you come and you go Only because there is little that I know But...
    Sylphy Sylphy 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 9, 2012

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    Related Experiences

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    I was in love with her for 3 and a half years. And I still am. There are periods of time where I think I'm over her and everything's great, but then something comes up that...
    clearmymind clearmymind 18-21, F 39 mins ago

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    I have a friend who I have known since we were in school. She has always been big and seemed to gain more and more. By the time we graduated she was so round and so unhappy about...
    Yummser Yummser 18-21, F 1 hr ago

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    I have been hurt very badly. I have hurt myself a lot. It was a long and torturous time. Now, I just want to have some peace. I was an open hearted person before the bad experience...
    Somexyz Somexyz 26-30, M 1 hr ago

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    It's rediculous, life is hard for everyone and takes it's toll, for some more than others but i constantly think if i had been adopted by a loving family what i may have been. The...
    MushroomFaerie148 MushroomFaerie148 26-30, F 3 hrs ago

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    I was bullied in my college after i got scholarship.I hated myself why I got that and cursed why i went to that college. Then I developed symptoms of schizophrenia.Then some of my...
    aliveisawesome aliveisawesome 18-21, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    I used to have a huge cutting addiction and it's over, but I still have thoughts about it
    cxmrren cxmrren 13-15, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    The smallest number of children I've ever wanted was 3. I was nine then, and the number has just continued growing. As I got older, I could see myself with a bigger family, and...
    wishingforrecovery wishingforrecovery 16-17, F 3 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I fell in love with a monster, and his name was pain. Id do anything for him, even if it seems insane and though he beats me everyday and calls me names all the time, ill never...
    PorcelainGrenade PorcelainGrenade 13-15, F 5 hrs ago

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    I have been on EP for the last 5 years. I have been just a member and also part of the behind-the-scenes support team. I've seen so many people come and go from our community. I've...
    hadyourchance hadyourchance 36-40, F 30 Responses 3 days ago

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    would love a woman to share my monster with
    mjlay83 mjlay83 31-35, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Humans are monsters. We humans are responsible for quite a lot of evil. Murders, mass murders, genocide, sexism, racism, homophobia, discrimination, torture, abuse of the...
    AceOtana AceOtana 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    Until this last week I had been doing really good with my anxiety, but I got some unsettling news, the final for the summer class I'm taking is this week, and I'm getting sick (I...
    tinkbell1 tinkbell1 18-21, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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