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I Have a Mother Who Is Passive Aggressive

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 110 People

    I Feel Better Knowing That I'M Not Alone In This:

    My biggest fear in life is becoming like my mother. My mother verbally and physically abused me and my brothers when we were younger. If you were to ever mention any kind of abuse or even strict parenting to her now, she would of course deny it. The thing that blows me away...
    laweeze85 laweeze85 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 19, 2013

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    My Pa Mother In Point-form

    -She never apologizes, whether she's done something as simple as stepped on my foot or said something damning that she can't take back, it doesn't matter. When she does apologize (and I'm sure I could count these moments on one hand) she apologizes with conditions: "I'm sorry...
    jetsgirl17 jetsgirl17 26-30 4 Responses Feb 2, 2012

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    I am trying to heal the emotional scars by

    being raised by a narcissistic passive aggressive mother. She used emotional blackmail any time I stood up to her and also used other family members to straighten me out. She claimed she was always right and saint like and I was being bad and disrespectful by critizing her. I...
    cathy213 cathy213 56-60, F 5 Responses Jan 1

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    My Mother Is Passive Aggressive And My Sister Fans The Flames

    I am trying not to be annoyed, but the more I think about it the more it bugs me....and makes me want to tell my sister to stop talking to my dd.(16).    My sister and I are not close....as a matter of fact, from my perspective, I do civil just because I have to.  I don't...
    tlstimson tlstimson 46-50 3 Responses Apr 25, 2011

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    This Is The Last Straw With My Parents

    Any energy or intellect my mother ever had has been completely devoted to her lifetime of getting what she wants by appearing to be a victim. And for a good bit of her life she has cleverly set the stage to make it look like she is MY victim. Every time she comes to visit me or...
    Icannotdothisanymore Icannotdothisanymore 56-60 4 Responses Sep 14, 2011

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    I'm Too Old To Put Up With It!

    All my life, I can't think of a single moment where I ever felt any real love for my mother. I was very close to my father before he died (I was only 10) and she always treated me bitterly when he wasn't around. She would always buy me stuff and bribe me to go places with her by...
    mothertrouble mothertrouble 31-35 2 Responses Dec 1, 2011

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    I'm Sick Of Being My Mother's Scapegoat!

    Recently I had a councilor friend, help me understand abit about what's happening with me and my mother.  The whole situation has had me tied up in tangles and knotts for too many years!  I'm the second born of four children.  My mum had us all quite close together.  I grew...
    saliskia39 saliskia39 36-40 1 Response Sep 26, 2011

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    The Best Feeling Is Realizing It's Not You

    I for years have dealt with feelings of guilt, questioning my decisions and so forth. It wasn't until recently that I figured things out when my Mother called me just to call me a name then told me to have a nice day. It was/is a subtle way to control and break someone down and...
    DeeDee327 DeeDee327 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2012

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    Crazymaking

     OMG, I'm so glad I found this group. I've been feeling like nobody in the world can understand how crazy my mother makes me with her passive aggressiveness.   Once again, she has sabotaged a special day and then refused to take responsibility. I finally wrote her a letter...
    ExperienceKitty ExperienceKitty 56-60, F 4 Responses Jan 20, 2010

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    Somethings Not Right With My Mother..

    I'm 22, I live with my mother who is 41 and two brothers who are 18 and 3, the youngest who is by a different father. For as long. Over the last 3 years my mum has started to become emotionally unstable. She can't ask me or my brother to do angrily without screaming at the top of...
    Leafylea Leafylea 22-25 2 Responses Jun 22, 2011

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    It took me decades to figure out

    that my mother (and my younger brother for that matter) is extremely passive-aggressive. I simply had no way of knowing when I was younger. By the time I was 12 I was in the dark, but slowly afterward after that age I began to realize that there was something seriously wrong...
    57Canuck 57Canuck 56-60 3 Responses Feb 23

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    2nd Post..

    I last wrote a post a year ago, right before I was due to move into an apartment with one of my friends. Things were at breaking point with my mother who would constantly ridicule and argue with me, telling me how little I cared about our family and my younger brothers. One year...
    Leafylea Leafylea 22-25 Dec 12, 2012

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    My Mom, My Husband, And Mother-inlaw All Passive Aggressive....

    I grew up with a passive aggressive mom, I am now grown and married and have long distance realship with my mother which actually helps with relating to her. I  married a great man I love him like crazy. I am over passive person kind of a doormat. I am an easy target for passive...
    amberbradley amberbradley 26-30 Feb 20, 2011

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    Is There Any Hope?

    I grew up thinking everything was my fault, and believing that I was the reason my mother was so unhappy. After all, I was consistently called “spoiled”, ungrateful and selfish because as a child (and like every child) I required care. I’m not speaking of special care, I...
    greenbean11 greenbean11 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2011

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    Mommy Dearest

    I'm the eldest child of 4 to a passive aggressive, emotionally unstable woman. I'm 33 years old and left my house as soon as I turned 18 and never went back. We've gone through periods where we don't talk, 99% of the time she's not talking to me because I said something she didn...
    scorpqueen scorpqueen 31-35, F 2 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Passive aggressive...

    ....yes my mother is one of these. How hard is it at times? I have no anger or resentment anymore as I decided to do something about it. Councilling has helped me big time to overcome the resentment I have felt towards her. She use to drive me crazy!!! Low and behold I...
    Laughoutlouds Laughoutlouds 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 21

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    My Mom Is Passive Agressive

    I love her to death, but when sometimes I try to bring up conflicts and arguments mean things she says , she denies and says i am spreading lies and that i am wrecking her marriage, so i dont know where to go, she finds fault with little things with my boyfriend, like his hair...
    MariaEleanor MariaEleanor 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2012

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    The Hatred Is Building...

    For as long as I can remember my mom has been like this but I just assumed everyone's mom acted that way! It wasn't until I moved away to University last year then came back for the summer, I realized her behavior wasn't normal. Now I admit, my PA diagnosis is a 'self-discovered...
    ponylee ponylee 18-21 8 Responses Jul 29, 2010

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    Im Just Venting

    i'm sitting in the house with this *****, and all the feelings ive had building up for 20 years just resurfaced.  she is super judgemental of me and always has been. its like she is jealous. my father is an alcoholic and she has always accepted the role of the victim. they are...
    mnd77 mnd77 31-35 1 Response Jan 26, 2011

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    My Mother Is So Aloof And Hostile

    I always dread visiting my mother because I am never sure how she will be.  Will she be chatty or say three words?  Not want to do anything or do everything.  Get annoyed when I ask her something about what she is doing or tell me a little just to shut me up.  All my life my...
    Lemmaloo Lemmaloo 46-50, F 3 Responses May 1, 2012

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    Finally Figured It Out!

    At 41, I finally figured out that I have a passive aggressive mother. She is the kind who lies and is insulted and shocked when confronted and hurt that I would dare question her honesty. She hates my wife and kids and of course denies it. We live states apart and in 18 years has...
    Paiwaqet Paiwaqet 41-45 1 Response Feb 19, 2013

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    Just Venting

    My mother is the type of woman that needs to be in control and needed. Even when we were young we had to keep up appearances as if we were the perfect family and at the core...she is the perfect mother. Especially when if comes to her mother. We get along great as long as I...
    Frustratedbeyondbelief72 Frustratedbeyondbelief72 41-45 2 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    The Passive Aggressiveness Continues... With Intensity!!

    Hey! Sorry it took me so long to write this but I had a baby in August and have been VERY busy. SO extremely irritating that mine will act like a nut, spew venom about other people, she is always a victim, and she can be judge and jury on everyone else ESPECIALLY my husbands...
    Irishgirl31 Irishgirl31 31-35, F Nov 1, 2012

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    Try This Craziness On.....

    My mother was diagnosed with a degenerative disease that would lead to severe disability and early death. My entire childhood was spent taking care of her and cleaning/cooking. She was in constant pain, could barely walk, and was always exhausted (from pain, headaches, etc. etc...
    superp5 superp5 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 5, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    Been married for almost 16 years, together for 22. 2 children together 10, and 14. And a step son who lives with my mom who is 21...they couldn't get along...feeling stuck and don...
    chevymom chevymom 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 25

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    I am 72 years old and am on my 2nd bout of breast cancer. Had years of depression and a breakdown. Took overdoses etc.etc. Had a son who died from Muscular dystrophy at 17 years...
    veganjo veganjo 70+ 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Can someone explain why someone who is passive aggressive will constantly ask personal questions and then walk away without saying anything after you respond? I find it extremely...
    HopefulLovelyLioness HopefulLovelyLioness 26-30, F 16 hrs ago

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    Putting up with a passive aggressive sociopathic moron is wearing away at me!
    Pinklipsx Pinklipsx 18-21, F a week ago

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    Well I use to live with one if these creatures that's because he iSync father but my parents split up and I have a step dad. My dad is passive aggressive with me. So I cut him off...
    REALWORDS823 REALWORDS823 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    I am so happy to have Friends who really care about me and who I really care about them too I love to have friends and if you want to be my friend come on and be my friend and talk...
    JadelynThompson2121 JadelynThompson2121 13-15, F 1 day ago

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    I have been with my boyfriend for almost 10 years. We got together at a young age, and I have always wanted to be more financially stable, and have majority, if not all of my...
    cheetachicklet cheetachicklet 26-30 Apr 8

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    My mother is amazing! Her sister ( my auntie) was diagnosed with a brain tumour and it was awful my family has already been struggling. It was tough on everyone especially her...
    Luce13579 Luce13579 16-17, F a week ago

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    I thought a lot as a child that it always felt a bit different with me and my mother. I could cry whine etc. until the sun came down and she'd either ignore me or reprimand me and...
    Ananananan12 Ananananan12 22-25 Apr 4

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    Today is the first anniversary of my mother's death, and I have been thinking about her all day. I miss her so much. My life has been miserable without her. I would spend all of...
    s4019t s4019t 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 30

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    She doesn't love me because I remind her too much of my father. I haven't spoken a word to here within the last six months besides a merry Christmas text. I didn't get a "Happy...
    Jessica0906 Jessica0906 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 28

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    Well, i know i am not the skinny kind of girl. I am chubby and got lumpy thick thighs. However, i am not obese, just... look a bit larger than others. I simply don't get why on...
    agirlfromHK agirlfromHK 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 29

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    This girl was my best friend from sixth grade to sophomore year of high school. I moved my junior year and she never even bothered to call, write, text. I was so confused and...
    karijune karijune 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 4

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    Yep and they're mostly from my previous forum. Funny cause I used to think they're better than my friends who can actually see me in person. They understand me, at least I think...
    kixisback kixisback 22-25 1 Response Apr 6

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    I guess it's my fault. I moved around a lot as a kid and found it difficult to make friends, especially being a socially awkward ISTJ. I was never the popular "New Kid" or...
    NekroNomikon NekroNomikon 18-21, F Mar 23

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    I have a addiction to cokes I had 60$ for about a week know I only have left is 20 something all from cokes
    funnygirl32226 funnygirl32226 13-15, F Mar 27

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    my parents cause i got a job and cody diddent, cause cody has a kid on the way at ******* age 17!! think i should quit so he could have it its his fault he blew it not mine!! they...
    Darkpuppy550 Darkpuppy550 16-17, F Apr 6

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    I have one friend and I am so blessed to have her. She's the sister I never had 👯💁👑
    Shygirl917 Shygirl917 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    She's been gone 6 years and it's not getting any easier. I want her here. Sometimes I wish I was with her. I just need her.
    Booksaremypassion Booksaremypassion 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    Am I wrong for wanting her to quit the only thing that brings her happiness? It's hard having a mom that loses her mind for fun, she says "it's my medicine" But obviously she's not...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F Mar 30

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    I've been thinking when I turn 16 I'm going to divorce my parents
    funnygirl32226 funnygirl32226 13-15, F Mar 22

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    That's my destiny :) I'm proud :D
    00Wieme00 00Wieme00 16-17, F Mar 24

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    Maybe she will talk to me again, and maybe she wont. Im okay with it... I deserve it...
    nate2045 nate2045 18-21, T Apr 3

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    They made me understand what relationship is based on in reality and how important being independent is. I don't want to see it as all my fault anymore. I hate to dread myself from...
    Ssslm Ssslm 26-30, F Apr 4

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    Some times I think you're an ******* but I know you really aren't. I just feel like I'm annoying you, that's why I try not to text you. I just don't want you to leave me alone. I...
    bethepea bethepea 16-17, F Apr 4

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    Well I just blocked some of my family I hate to be like this but they caused this not me
    funnygirl32226 funnygirl32226 13-15, F 1 Response a week ago

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    That explains my temper...lol
    nerdybabe nerdybabe 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    So I've been reading a lot about this and I'm so thankful for all of the information out there. I had no idea. I've felt so invalidated, shamed, insecure, never right, never good...
    sdc423 sdc423 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    I used to have this one bestfriend. We were close and the best of friends for about six years. But then I moved away to a new school and it seems like we never see each other or...
    wootaco wootaco 22-25 Apr 7