I Have A Narcissistic Mother

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 862 People

    Celebrating my 1 year of going no contact.

    It is unbelievable what a year i had. I got married and had a baby boy. I went no contact after she refused to attend my wedding cause she didnt have a date.... YES, that was the final straw after years of abuse, manipulation and just pure narcissism. I have not spoken to my...
    Misstaco Misstaco
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jul 7, 2014

    I have been NC with her

    for over 3 years now. It took me almost 40 years to figure it out but once I did there was no turning back. I was raised by a woman without the capacity to love me. Sure she showed love to my brother GOLDEN CHILD, 6 years my junior and some to my sister, 8 years my senior. I...
    supercalitex supercalitex
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Sep 23, 2014

    "Snow is on the ground but this is not my

    landscape now, where I find myself without you. Oh I never knew you from the sun.” -Karen Peris, “I Never Knew You From the Sun” song If you are a child with a Narcissistic Mother and an orbiting parent (my father) then you know how it feels to awaken in grief. Some days...
    thegirlwithnomom thegirlwithnomom
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 11

    I've finally come to realize I've been your

    puppet growing up. You having full control over my strings. Controlling every part of me, and every time I wouldn't cooperate, you would hurt me. Every painful step I have to take from now on until this is over will be to hopefully some way to move on from this. No one in my...
    MissQueenB MissQueenB
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 19

    narcissists are the new zombie {s} .

    theyr evrywher . hav been ther the whole time but so disguised n smart n clevar n sneaky n socially seemingly aceptable until their truth shown . {which takes agessss for some or many ...}
    cdwishimatgurlCalandraBelle cdwishimatgurlCalandraBelle
    36-40, T
    Apr 13

    I realise that I have a totally Narcissistic

    mother! She constantly puts me down and nothing I do is good enough for her! She even called me for help the other day and asked how I was, then instantly said answer OK as you are on loud speaker! Knowing I am ill at the moment with MS and awaiting diagnosis for epilepsy...
    Loupylou101 Loupylou101
    70+, F
    1 Response Feb 15

    I am just now- in my mid-40's seeing this in my

    mother- I think back on all of the instances and it finally makes sense. It has been hard. We are currently not speaking (again)- however since discovering this behavior has a name, I'm not sure how to forge ahead. Please know- I love my Mom- I want to have a pure...
    7070hope 7070hope
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Mar 7

    This morning I woke up feeling I own myself a

    hug and a kiss.... My mother has made an effort in her sadistic way to make me shrink into nothing and make me feel terrible about myself. Just as a quick example, on the effect she has on me, my little dog went into heart failure, and I was devastated....... And I feel she is...
    pistacchia pistacchia
    46-50, F
    5 Responses Nov 13, 2014

    My adopted mom reminds me of the movie "Mommie

    Dearest". She's a very cold, manipulating and narcissistic woman. Wasn't long ago on a Friday afternoon that she showed her true colors to a complete stranger. She usually puts up a fake front to those that don't know her. But this time she slipped up. I was being wheeled...
    hadyourchance hadyourchance
    36-40, F
    14 Responses Apr 14, 2014

    I've traveled to see my father.

    When we meet my mother invites herself along and works at interpreting everything in a negative way. I was doing a good job of ignoring this yesterday! Had a lovely lunch with husband, niece and father. Mom was there but I focussed elsewhere.
    Decaturite Decaturite
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Feb 26

    I am taking a day off tomorrow from work.

    My son has an awards ceremony that I did not invite my sisters or parents too. It isn't the norm for my sisters to get invited since its on a week day and one is a stay at home mom, while the other works (the older one, my mom's flying monkey aka Golden Child), but knowing my...
    thegirlwithnomom thegirlwithnomom
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 10

    I am currently trying to accept

    that I do indeed have a narcissistic mother. She is the engulfing type, and always has been,which I think is why it's hard to admit that she wasn't a good mom. She has always bought us tons of things, and given lavish gifts, but they always have strings attached. Guilt is her...
    Tywyn1024 Tywyn1024
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Mar 13, 2015

    I have recently learned to adapt to my mother's

    subtle abuse with either a quick retort back or simply not giving her any ammunition to use behind my back. I wrote an earlier story about how my mother managed to obtain temporary custody of my, one year daughter behind my back, while I was battling cancer. It took me a...
    amazingyou amazingyou
    36-40, F
    1 Response Apr 14, 2014

    The only woman I know

    who will reminisce about the day I was born by expressing her jealousy for my uncles(they went to a restaurant to eat dinner) and resentment for me since she was stuck at the hospital having me. Actual quote words.
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule
    2 Responses Mar 28

    Narcissistic parent: A narcissistic parent is

    a parent affected by narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder. Typically narcissistic parents are exclusively and possessively close to their children and may be especially envious of, and threatened by, their child's growing independence.The result may be what has been...
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule
    1 Response Mar 16

    So having a narcissistic mother

    who never seemed to care about me enough, who used me as leverage to get what she wanted all of my childhood, and who ended up abandoning me when I was around 13, I came across this in an article and it has really helped me because I could never understand why I wasn't good...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Feb 7

    It Took Me 36 Years To Figure This Out.

    "I gave you milk as a baby. I fed you, I clothed you. What else could you want?" ( I was premature and in the hospital for quite a while after I was born.) "Choose this wedding dress. Do it for your mother. I have cancer." (she was in remission). "When you have a child, I hope...
    ebabella ebabella
    36-40, F
    7 Responses Sep 11, 2013

    The Baptism day went better

    than I expected. I will say that at first, when I walked into my sisters home, my parents stood up ,but didn't greet me or walk over to me. I guess apologizing was not on the agenda nor was being a parent. Am I supposed to feel bad that they act confused? Are they acting...
    thegirlwithnomom thegirlwithnomom
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Mar 15


    My relationship with my mother has been such a source of pain, abandonment, anger, and frustration for the past six years. However, a few days ago my psychologist told me that she believes I have a Narcissistic Personality Disoerdered mother. I had no clue that you could even...
    lmbksu lmbksu
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Oct 12, 2013

    My mom sent the kids clothes to wear to my

    nephew's baptism coming up in a few weeks. First of all, I didn't ask her to - second of all - I haven't spoken to her since September. Why would I dress my children in outfits she sent for them, to a party that I am not looking forward to seeing her at. I kind of feel like...
    thegirlwithnomom thegirlwithnomom
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Feb 21

    Why did it take me 33 years to realize this?

    Almost immediately after typing that question I feel doubt and shame not because I should have known years ago but because I feel I am throwing my family under the bus. My mom has mastered her craft because I really believe I am worthless and disgusting even though I am aware of...
    klaw25 klaw25
    31-35, F
    1 Response Dec 10, 2014

    Ahhh, what a POS.....

    .she asked her friends to come and pick up my dogs (which are more than family to me) and have them euthanized so I could spend more time with her. She was jealous. This is what bangs around in the mind of a narc/psychopath!! And no, over my dead body would anyone touch my dogs!
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule
    1 Response Mar 28


    I am coming here tonight to share this part of my story, and to vent in a place where people Know what I am talking about. One of the things they say about Narcisism, is that the only way to know it is to have lived through/ around it. And I believe it`s true, there are lots of...
    gia99 gia99
    18-21, F
    9 Responses Feb 14, 2013

    What a lovely woman. I was taken out of college

    freshman year and not allowed to return for she didn't know what I was doing and it bothered her that she couldn't keep an eye on me.
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule
    2 Responses Mar 28

    So it was my parents birthday yesterday.

    Yes they were both born on the same day. I think it's been about a month since I went no contact with my mother. But I did go out and meet up with my dad for his birthday. They have been divorced since I was 8. This is the first time I didn't contact her at all. I didn't send a...
    Tabetha7 Tabetha7
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Feb 14, 2014

    My Husband Just Told Me About His Narcisistic Mother

    The story he told me sent me reeling. It was like hearing a horror story. I couldn't sleep last night and is all I could think about today. First,I should say,I wasn't raised by a narcissist and I feel so lucky. I am thanking my lucky stars today. I cannot imagine growing up...
    springstarbaby springstarbaby
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Nov 1, 2013

    I feel like a weight has been lifted

    and I can think more clearly now for myself after doing some research on psychology and reading about narcissistic mothers. I questioned so much about what was right and wrong because of the games my mom played with my emotions. My guy was telling me my mom was being selfish...
    twistedheart99 twistedheart99
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Apr 28, 2014

    'mom has dementia.' hah!

    nope, i am not going to say that. mom has NPD. Lying about her condition is one step forward to be like her. Mom is in her 50's. She can't be blame. She can't process shame. There is part of me, want to take short cut, easy way out, explaining, 'she show early sign of...
    fien fien
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 15, 2014

    I met with her last night at my therapy

    appointment. I haven't been to her house in 8 months. Honestly, I thought things would go smoothly like last time and I would have the upper hand on her and come out of the meeting feeling on top of the world like I did last time, but that's not how it went. I left in tears...
    kayla459 kayla459
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 12

    In the years since I researched

    and wrote Mean Mothers, I’ve talked to women about our shared experiences. Every woman’s story is different, of course; perhaps the greatest commonality is the discovery that each of us is not alone, that we are not the only girls or women on the planet to have had mothers...
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule
    3 Responses Apr 11, 2015

    First of all, thank you

    for sharing; I can't imagine what would I have done without people in the same situation I am posting their stories, knowing I am not the only one, knowing that NP are REPLICAS, realizing I am not alone, I am not crazy, I am not bad in essence. I have asked my mother several...
    alinie alinie
    31-35, F
    1 Response Aug 11, 2014

    For those who had a narcissistic mother,

    at what age did you realize you were basically on your own? I suspected my mother was just role-playing the act of being a mother in a lot of ways when I was about 12, but knew for sure when I was in 9th grade. I could tell by being around other kids and their parents that they...
    Allison7593 Allison7593
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Mar 3

    My Story

    My mom is a narcissist. I have realized this, put a name to it and come to terms with it, now I just have to go NC for good. Growing up, I never understood how my mother couldn't love me. I have one older sister and she is the "good" one, because she did everything "right" and...
    flipflop72 flipflop72
    36-40, F
    8 Responses Sep 24, 2013

    Now it just feels like a really awful book I

    read a long time ago but couldn't quite finish to the end of the story.
    kayla459 kayla459
    18-21, F
    Feb 4

    Everytime I try hold a conversation with my mom

    she don't say much it's like a dead conversation.Ots like yeah ok huh huh .Sometimes she hold consultations but most time no .My brother and dad is a different story.Any ideal why or anyone else have this issue too ????
    kellner27 kellner27
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 18

    A little poetry I wrote: (by me) I remember

    what the grief was like when I left; it was as if someone had died. Perhaps it was just my kindled spark being blown out and erupting into a fire, and I was reborn.
    kayla459 kayla459
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 5

    Sometimes I try to justify in my head,

    why my mother was so evil to me? Did her mother abuse her, was my father abusive to her. Does she have low self esteem, she is just uncomfortable with her emotions. But as I get older and have a family of my own I realize something. Despite the severe abuse I endured as a child...
    SisterJudahWarrior777 SisterJudahWarrior777
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Aug 2, 2015

    It's been 7 months since my freedom began,

    and now . . . . . . it just feels like a really unsettling book I read a long, long time ago but couldn't quite finish.
    kayla459 kayla459
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Mar 13

    Always Gauging

    Do any of you notice that you are constantly trying gauge others reactions or responses, body language, or looks? I am aware that I have constantly through out my life been hyper aware of others reaction to me. I am now seeing that this is related to how I was programmed to not...
    Haretm Haretm
    10 Responses Sep 10, 2013

    narcissists so it turns out my intuition n

    senses and internal communications were and are correct, regardless that i didnt have the proof ready, though it would turn up sometime and often has turned up as now. i am not "just" paranoid, neurotic, delusional as (hidden) narcissists will tell me and you that i am .. so...
    cdwishimatgurlCalandraBelle cdwishimatgurlCalandraBelle
    36-40, T
    Mar 25

    How to respond to those

    who ignorantly respond to us with "forgive and forget": I guess you can tell that I disagree and find this callous response more than a little insulting. Why? When one's feelings and emotions have been disregarded for one's entire life, by a cruel maternal monsters, one...
    ubasti ubasti
    6 Responses Feb 18, 2014

    To all who understand

    and to all that never will. Here is a poem for all the women who live with this invisible pain. I am tired of being your rag doll. I have spread myself far and wide for people who I could never say no to I have been a rag doll for many men A slave willingly offering my...
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule
    1 Response Mar 4, 2015

    Updates will be regular

    as we approach event day (Sunday, March 13 when I have to face my parents who are coming to town to spend time with and visit my sisters) and items come up. My son called my Dad and got voicemail. He invited him (since he'll be in town) to go with to his Military Prep...
    thegirlwithnomom thegirlwithnomom
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 9

    My sister was a psycho narcissist

    and always in charge of me growing up. She is 5 years older, and would always torture me....when babysitting she would chase me around the house with a butcher knife threatening to kill me so when cornered in the basement and the tip of the knife pushed to the tip of my nose I...
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule
    2 Responses Mar 28

    I don't know because I do not ask my sisters,

    but my parents will be driving to town and here before next weekend. The Baptism for my nephew (I am Godmother) is on Sunday, March 13th. I'm kind of worried about the interaction. I go to my sisters house early on Sunday and my parents will be there. I don't know what to...
    thegirlwithnomom thegirlwithnomom
    41-45, F
    Mar 6

    I was molested at 7 and boy was I in big

    trouble. My mother gathered anyone and everyone who would listen into our living room (about 15 people) while I stood in the middle while she read a letter written by this POS that actually blamed me for ruining his life.........I would have never have told and didn't but I was...
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule
    4 Responses Mar 28

    She violates your boundaries.

    You feel like an extension of her. Your property is given away without your consent, sometimes in front of you. Your food is eaten off your plate or given to others off your plate. Your property may be repossessed and no reason given other than that it was never yours. Your time...
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule
    3 Responses Mar 4, 2015

    My first memories are of her.

    Shouting. Screaming. Fighting. Arguing. Drama. Stress. I remember hiding in a cupboard to pray that I'd never BE like her. I was about four. I've always wondered if anyone else has these memories of NOT wanting to be like their parent at a young age? Growing up, I hid a lot...
    SteelButterfly SteelButterfly
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Jan 4

    I want to reach out to all of my new

    aquaintances here and wish you love and peace in the new year. If you can, sit quietly and meditate for a few minutes. Reassure yourself that you are good....that you deserve love and respect....that you want to rid your life of toxins and negative thinking. Do something...
    sanderbender sanderbender
    51-55, F
    6 Responses Dec 27, 2013

    I have learned something

    that it's very interesting. My mother is a narcissist, my dad is the enabler. She goes off in the worst kind of emotional and spiritual abuse, and my dad silently backs her up. He covers up for her horrific being. He makes excuses for her. I used to be very attached to my...
    pistacchia pistacchia
    46-50, F
    9 Responses Sep 9, 2014

    I was away at college (freshman year)

    and she and my stepfather apparently moved and didn't tell me (I was uprooted 11 times). When I came back to their new house, she apparently went through everything I owned and threw it all out except for a select few things she thought were important. I never saw any of my...
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule
    3 Responses Mar 28

    After Years Of Suffering...

    A single session with my psychologist was able to hammer out the fact that my mother is narcissistic. Weeks prior to that, she threatened to disown my brother and I'd started to emotionally detach from her. Finding out she was narcissistic helped me continue a path of recovery I...
    Tsirian527 Tsirian527
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Nov 13, 2010

    This psycho accused me of being pregnant

    when I was 19 because she was apparently monitoring by trash can and didn't see any feminine products....I **** you not!
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule
    1 Response Mar 28

    That one phrase that always got used

    when I brought up how controlling she was: "Would you rather not have anyone to love and take care of you, like I did? You should be thankful that you have a parent that is so involved in your life." Like either I didn't get to exist as my own person, or I was totally left on my...
    eristwhile eristwhile
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 10

    hi everyone, i would like to share some

    progress i have made since last update. 5 things i am getting used to 1. having an opinion as once upon a time golden child, i have to resist sharing my point of view or feeling. if mother feels sad, i MUST feel sad TOO. if she feels happy, i must feel HAPPY too, regardless of...
    fien fien
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jul 12, 2015

    My mother got rid of all our family photo albums

    and only wanted one made of just her! Happy 72nd birthday, that was her big gift and a slide show of just her. She loved it.
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule
    Mar 28

    Unfortunately I do. She is the best

    and the worst. The best because she's the only mother I will ever have and the worst because she turns people against me and tries to separate me from other family members. She's never happy unless there's a drama which she's at the centre of...I have grown used to her ways and...
    SteelButterfly SteelButterfly
    41-45, F
    5 Responses Apr 29, 2015

    I've realised that the thing I crave more

    than finding a partner and becoming a wife or mother, is that I just really want to be a daughter to a loving mother. At 26 I should probably be thinking about starting my own family, but my only desire is to be a part of someone else's family as a daughter to a mother who can...
    yogihope yogihope
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Feb 6


    She will never love me. She cannot love. She will never be sorry. She cannot process guilt. She will never stop blaming me. She cannot accept responsibility. She will never stop bad mouthing me. She cannot live without attention. She will never stop claiming my...
    MoBrix MoBrix
    36-40, F
    12 Responses Apr 19, 2013
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