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I Have A Narcissistic Mother

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 739 People

    My mother wanted more money.

    Used the excuse to buy me a "cake and a gift" for my birthday. Load of lies. She has bought my gift already and I said I was happy with that. She said I'm probably not going to like what she got me. Why by it for me then? I knew it would be something for her. Accidentally saw...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Apr 29

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    I feel like a weight has been lifted

    and I can think more clearly now for myself after doing some research on psychology and reading about narcissistic mothers. I questioned so much about what was right and wrong because of the games my mom played with my emotions. My guy was telling me my mom was being selfish...
    twistedheart99 twistedheart99 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2014

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    Unfortunately I do. She is the best

    and the worst. The best because she's the only mother I will ever have and the worst because she turns people against me and tries to separate me from other family members. She's never happy unless there's a drama which she's at the centre of...I have grown used to her ways and...
    SteelButterfly SteelButterfly 41-45, F 7 Responses Apr 29

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    After Years Of Suffering...

    A single session with my psychologist was able to hammer out the fact that my mother is narcissistic. Weeks prior to that, she threatened to disown my brother and I'd started to emotionally detach from her. Finding out she was narcissistic helped me continue a path of recovery I...
    Tsirian527 Tsirian527 26-30, F 5 Responses Nov 13, 2010

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    It Took Me 36 Years To Figure This Out.

    "I gave you milk as a baby. I fed you, I clothed you. What else could you want?" ( I was premature and in the hospital for quite a while after I was born.) "Choose this wedding dress. Do it for your mother. I have cancer." (she was in remission). "When you have a child, I hope...
    ebabella ebabella 36-40, F 8 Responses Sep 11, 2013

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    3.5 Years In The Making

    This might be long. Yesterday was the first time in 3.5 year that I have actually sat down and spoke with my mother, other than the occasional run-in at the grocery store. My daughter turned 3 a few weeks ago and I received a text message from my mom telling her happy birthday...
    chantalprost chantalprost 31-35 4 Responses Sep 12, 2013

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    My mother has this rude joke she makes

    if I don't show her something i am doing when she asks, I'm looking at "****" and "willies" and goes and tells my stepfather. She tells him every little thing and it angers me. Often at my expense to mock me with him. So she was on her iPad and said for me to look away and...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Apr 25

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    So she came to ask to "borrow" something off me.

    It's not borrowing I give it to her and I have no problem. It's an earbud she cleans with. Well, she put on her sweet voice and asked for it and called me that sweet name. No "please" as usual. She always says to him "please" I says it's bravery "please!" And she lacks a sad...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Apr 26

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    I have been NC with her

    for over 3 years now. It took me almost 40 years to figure it out but once I did there was no turning back. I was raised by a woman without the capacity to love me. Sure she showed love to my brother GOLDEN CHILD, 6 years my junior and some to my sister, 8 years my senior. I...
    supercalitex supercalitex 41-45, F 3 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    https://www.psychologytoday.

    com/blog/tech-support/201502/8-types-toxic-patterns-in-mother-daughter-relationships
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I feel suicidal. Been crying a lot.

    I can't take what she puts me under. She sends me on love highs to send me crashing back down to reality. One second I'm being hugged, hen the next second mocked and told to grow a backbone. She doesn't really love me. It's all a show to the outside world and to mess with me. I...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 May 16

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    She got her nail, went to my right leg

    and dug out something. You can see she dug too much and looks like she went into a layer of skin she shouldn't have. I said about it and she said bluntly "it will heal" with coldness and got a stuffed animal to "lick" my leg. I said with bravery, to please not do that. She got...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 3 Responses Apr 26

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    then no reply. She just gave me the works how

    she was there for me in hospital (which I must add she took advantage of to steal things). And how I use her and drain her and how others say and "they can't all be  wrong" (to be fair they all hated me. One was a social worker who I used to see who spoke to my mother a...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Always Gauging

    Do any of you notice that you are constantly trying gauge others reactions or responses, body language, or looks? I am aware that I have constantly through out my life been hyper aware of others reaction to me. I am now seeing that this is related to how I was programmed to not...
    Haretm Haretm 41-45 9 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    I have such an urge to scream at her.

    Tomorrow I have the doctor and no doubt she will interrupt, act all sweet and flirt and take the time away from me. It hurts she is so selfish and doesn't love or care about me. If she does it I swear!!!! But what can I do because it's paid for by her. She can do what she...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 2 Responses Apr 28

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    I hate crying, I'm so sick of being unloved,

    I'm sick of her not caring, I'm sick of her lies and games, I'm sick of him meaning all to her. I'm sick and tired of this. I felt suicidal again and I'm fed up. I wish I knew what to do
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 1 Response May 25

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    The more days that go on it seems my mother is

    becoming her own version of my grandmother. Not the same but similarities. My grandmother was awful to my mother. Cold and unloving but showing kindness and love to cats and even men that abused my mother. Including my father who beat my mum up when she was pregnant with me (i...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Apr 28

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    This morning I woke up feeling I own myself a

    hug and a kiss.... My mother has made an effort in her sadistic way to make me shrink into nothing and make me feel terrible about myself. Just as a quick example, on the effect she has on me, my little dog went into heart failure, and I was devastated....... And I feel she is...
    pistacchia pistacchia 46-50, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    First of all, thank you

    for sharing; I can't imagine what would I have done without people in the same situation I am posting their stories, knowing I am not the only one, knowing that NP are REPLICAS, realizing I am not alone, I am not crazy, I am not bad in essence. I have asked my mother several...
    alinie alinie 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 11, 2014

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    My mother continuously makes every thing about

    her... And when it's not about her, she has an attitude.
    sincerelynikki sincerelynikki 31-35, F 6 days ago

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    She must be the biggest fame player ever.

    Got "sad" pretended to care about my cold hands and put a hat on my head. Then bombarded me with what she wanted to tell me. She said "I know you won't be happy about it". She is depressed about her experiences online and wants the internet cut. She said how much the games she...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 1 Response May 26

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    My Husband Just Told Me About His Narcisistic Mother

    The story he told me sent me reeling. It was like hearing a horror story. I couldn't sleep last night and is all I could think about today. First,I should say,I wasn't raised by a narcissist and I feel so lucky. I am thanking my lucky stars today. I cannot imagine growing up...
    springstarbaby springstarbaby 31-35, F 4 Responses Nov 1, 2013

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    This last couple of days have been hard.

    I'm in my late thirties and some time ago I realized that my mother has always hurt me and make me look back in front of siblings. I remember an incident when I was Ten when she and my brother gained up on my and screamed nasty things in my face. My brother is six years older...
    jeanney75 jeanney75 36-40 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Out of curiosity, what are examples of crazy,

    evil things your narc mother has done and how do you cope? -My Story - There is some consolation in finally coming to terms with my abusive childhood and failed adulthood...decades of questions...what is wrong with me? Why am I unlovable and worthless? Finally, in my 30s, I have...
    freedomchaser freedomchaser 36-40, F 6 Responses Dec 29, 2013

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    An interesting article about narcissistic

    parents entitled, "The Most Harmful Kind of Parent" there is a part two to it as well. http://blogs.psychcentral.com/psychoanalysis-now/2015/04/the-most-harmful-kind-of-parent/#.VV-PV-hHThU.facebook
    Etheros Etheros 46-50, F 4 days ago

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    In the years since I researched

    and wrote Mean Mothers, I’ve talked to women about our shared experiences. Every woman’s story is different, of course; perhaps the greatest commonality is the discovery that each of us is not alone, that we are not the only girls or women on the planet to have had mothers...
    rescueme99 rescueme99 41-45 4 Responses Apr 11

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    Yes..

    I am coming here tonight to share this part of my story, and to vent in a place where people Know what I am talking about. One of the things they say about Narcisism, is that the only way to know it is to have lived through/ around it. And I believe it`s true, there are lots of...
    gia99 gia99 18-21, F 9 Responses Feb 14, 2013

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    My Story

    My mom is a narcissist. I have realized this, put a name to it and come to terms with it, now I just have to go NC for good. Growing up, I never understood how my mother couldn't love me. I have one older sister and she is the "good" one, because she did everything "right" and...
    flipflop72 flipflop72 36-40, F 8 Responses Sep 24, 2013

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    "Narcissistic Parents’ Psychological Effect

    on Their Children:" Narcissistic parents will never understand the breadth of their impact on kids. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201405/narcissistic-parents-psychological-effect-their-children
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 3 Responses May 3

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    I have learned something

    that it's very interesting. My mother is a narcissist, my dad is the enabler. She goes off in the worst kind of emotional and spiritual abuse, and my dad silently backs her up. He covers up for her horrific being. He makes excuses for her. I used to be very attached to my...
    pistacchia pistacchia 46-50, F 11 Responses Sep 9, 2014

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    I wish I had known many years ago what I know

    now. All these years of trying to please, wanting to be loved. I have a brother who is the golden child, I am the scapegoat. I am always so depressed and irritated after talking with her. I always think it's going to be different, that she is really going to love me. And...
    janepr janepr 56-60, F 3 Responses Jun 3, 2014

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    "When Shame feels Mothering: The Tragedy of

    Parentified Daughters" http://womboflight.com/2014/02/01/when-shame-is-mother-the-tragedy-of-parentified-daughters/
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response May 4

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    I don't understand why they don't eventually

    just face their demons...there are people with depression who actually deal with their emotions. I've heard that their fake bs is like carefully crafted frosting they use to cover the empty void inside of them. But what is that void? Depression? Is tearing people down and...
    strawberryletter22 strawberryletter22 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    What I used to believe about my mom is quickly

    disintegrating as I admit that I didn't have a good childhood and that my family wasn't good to me back then and they aren't good to me now. I held on to the few good times we had and discarded the bad times which were most of the time. As I accept this a lot of memories are...
    Wbyogimaso Wbyogimaso 26-30, M 1 Response May 13

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    I am currently trying to accept

    that I do indeed have a narcissistic mother. She is the engulfing type, and always has been,which I think is why it's hard to admit that she wasn't a good mom. She has always bought us tons of things, and given lavish gifts, but they always have strings attached. Guilt is her...
    Tywyn1024 Tywyn1024 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 13

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    So it was my parents birthday yesterday.

    Yes they were both born on the same day. I think it's been about a month since I went no contact with my mother. But I did go out and meet up with my dad for his birthday. They have been divorced since I was 8. This is the first time I didn't contact her at all. I didn't send a...
    Tabetha7 Tabetha7 36-40, F 4 Responses Feb 14, 2014

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    "Are You a Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother?

    Take This Brief Survey to Find Out." http://www.willieverbegoodenough.com/narcissistic-mother-survey/ Although there's a workshop advertised on this page, the focus of me posting is examining the questions. Needless to say, McBride's book has been extremely helpful on my...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response May 3

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    I am just coming to the realization

    that I am the adult daughter of a narcissistic mother. It is only now that I have found an interest in psychology and have done some reading that I finally recognize what I hated, but thought was normal for 23 years. I have had an exceptionally difficult 6 months. After...
    n2385 n2385 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 22

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    She went to attack my skin again.

    She does it pretty often I guess. She last did it about early yesterday and the day before. I admit I do let her sometimes, because if I resist she gets injured by her arthritis and blames me for hurting bad. And it's so hard to resist her because she puts a grip on me. Well...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Apr 24

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    How to respond to those

    who ignorantly respond to us with "forgive and forget": I guess you can tell that I disagree and find this callous response more than a little insulting. Why? When one's feelings and emotions have been disregarded for one's entire life, by a cruel maternal monsters, one...
    ubasti ubasti 66-70 6 Responses Feb 18, 2014

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    My adopted mom reminds me of the movie "Mommie

    Dearest". She's a very cold, manipulating and narcissistic woman. Wasn't long ago on a Friday afternoon that she showed her true colors to a complete stranger. She usually puts up a fake front to those that don't know her. But this time she slipped up. I was being wheeled...
    hadyourchance hadyourchance 36-40, F 16 Responses Apr 14, 2014

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    She violates your boundaries.

    You feel like an extension of her. Your property is given away without your consent, sometimes in front of you. Your food is eaten off your plate or given to others off your plate. Your property may be repossessed and no reason given other than that it was never yours. Your time...
    rescueme99 rescueme99 41-45 3 Responses Mar 4

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    Epiphany

    My relationship with my mother has been such a source of pain, abandonment, anger, and frustration for the past six years. However, a few days ago my psychologist told me that she believes I have a Narcissistic Personality Disoerdered mother. I had no clue that you could even...
    lmbksu lmbksu 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 12, 2013

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    She gets worse and worse every single day.

    I'm so tired of rolling my eyes. She comes home and I'm out of sight and then he is no longer he one she was verbally abusing when I was out with her. I'm out of sight and she refers me as "her" and starts badmouthing me. Comes to me and then says how mental he looks and how...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 6 Responses Apr 21

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    Happy mothers day!!!!

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 9

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    I've been in a lot of pain lately

    and felt so alone and unwanted. I know I'm a burden and she hates me being unwell. I've been depressed lately which started when she started being nasty to me again. I believe that triggered a lot of pain in me. I tried to talk to her today and I attached this photo. I blanked...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 3 days ago

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