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I Have A Narcissistic Mother

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 715 People

    In the years since I researched

    and wrote Mean Mothers, I’ve talked to women about our shared experiences. Every woman’s story is different, of course; perhaps the greatest commonality is the discovery that each of us is not alone, that we are not the only girls or women on the planet to have had mothers...
    rescueme99 rescueme99 41-45 4 Responses Apr 11

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    I recently found out

    that what my mother has been putting me through for years is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I knew things were weird but after years of living away from her I know see that things were always wrong! Now that I'm older and living back with my parents it's only gotten...
    enough75 enough75 36-40, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    What Are the Signs of a Narcissistic Mother?

    Extreme preoccupation with her and self-image are the most distinctive features of narcissistic mothers. They fail to fulfill the basic emotional needs of their children which may help them to grow into a self-adjusted adult. More signs of narcissistic mother can include...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Apr 1

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    First of all, thank you

    for sharing; I can't imagine what would I have done without people in the same situation I am posting their stories, knowing I am not the only one, knowing that NP are REPLICAS, realizing I am not alone, I am not crazy, I am not bad in essence. I have asked my mother several...
    alinie alinie 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 11, 2014

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    It Took Me 36 Years To Figure This Out.

    "I gave you milk as a baby. I fed you, I clothed you. What else could you want?" ( I was premature and in the hospital for quite a while after I was born.) "Choose this wedding dress. Do it for your mother. I have cancer." (she was in remission). "When you have a child, I hope...
    ebabella ebabella 36-40, F 7 Responses Sep 11, 2013

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    Celebrating my 1 year of going no contact.

    It is unbelievable what a year i had. I got married and had a baby boy. I went no contact after she refused to attend my wedding cause she didnt have a date.... YES, that was the final straw after years of abuse, manipulation and just pure narcissism. I have not spoken to my...
    Misstaco Misstaco 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 7, 2014

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    My mother is all of the above.

    For as long as I can remember, I was afraid of my mother because of her violent temper, her outrage at any little thing that didn't go the way she wanted it to, and her sharp-tongued criticism. I never felt close to her or like I was a loved daughter. It was always fear and...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F Apr 5

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    My Story

    My mom is a narcissist. I have realized this, put a name to it and come to terms with it, now I just have to go NC for good. Growing up, I never understood how my mother couldn't love me. I have one older sister and she is the "good" one, because she did everything "right" and...
    flipflop72 flipflop72 36-40, F 8 Responses Sep 24, 2013

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    My Husband Just Told Me About His Narcisistic Mother

    The story he told me sent me reeling. It was like hearing a horror story. I couldn't sleep last night and is all I could think about today. First,I should say,I wasn't raised by a narcissist and I feel so lucky. I am thanking my lucky stars today. I cannot imagine growing up...
    springstarbaby springstarbaby 31-35, F 4 Responses Nov 1, 2013

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    Yes..

    I am coming here tonight to share this part of my story, and to vent in a place where people Know what I am talking about. One of the things they say about Narcisism, is that the only way to know it is to have lived through/ around it. And I believe it`s true, there are lots of...
    gia99 gia99 18-21, F 9 Responses Feb 14, 2013

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    To all who understand

    and to all that never will. Here is a poem for all the women who live with this invisible pain. I am tired of being your rag doll. I have spread myself far and wide for people who I could never say no to I have been a rag doll for many men A slave willingly offering my...
    rescueme99 rescueme99 41-45 1 Response Mar 4

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    Need some advice from anyone who's been in a

    similar situation. I've been trying to go non contact with my narc mother for three months neaely and I have had abusive letters, texts and calls every week since from her, my enabling father, siblings and even her parents (who are also narcissistic). I'm having counselling...
    mummytozach mummytozach 22-25, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    After the abuse she put me under yesterday she

    is being sweet to me and waving to me when she saw me. Rolling my eyes around. This isn't her.
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 4 Responses Apr 9

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    How to respond to those

    who ignorantly respond to us with "forgive and forget": I guess you can tell that I disagree and find this callous response more than a little insulting. Why? When one's feelings and emotions have been disregarded for one's entire life, by a cruel maternal monsters, one...
    ubasti ubasti 66-70 6 Responses Feb 18, 2014

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    I feel like a weight has been lifted

    and I can think more clearly now for myself after doing some research on psychology and reading about narcissistic mothers. I questioned so much about what was right and wrong because of the games my mom played with my emotions. My guy was telling me my mom was being selfish...
    twistedheart99 twistedheart99 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2014

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    Today she was dead serious

    and said she would kill me if she could not go to jail, but she can't afford the cemetery plot :) I said to her "so you show your true colours" and she said "what about you, using me all the time" Her precious darling was sitting there too. Nice to know how loved I am. I...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Mar 31

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    Repost for anyone interested: If you would

    like to read my blog about my life with my narcissistic mother, feel free! mynarcissisticmother.weebly.com/
    SpokenSilence SpokenSilence 26-30, F Apr 6

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    You know my mother wants to move away from

    both of us apparently. But has now said she wants him with her to help her with working. She is not keen on having him away I tell you. Yet she wants me away. She said she wants him within visiting reach but in the past she said she has either said she doesn't care if I'm in...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Apr 5

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    3.5 Years In The Making

    This might be long. Yesterday was the first time in 3.5 year that I have actually sat down and spoke with my mother, other than the occasional run-in at the grocery store. My daughter turned 3 a few weeks ago and I received a text message from my mom telling her happy birthday...
    chantalprost chantalprost 31-35 4 Responses Sep 12, 2013

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    Out of curiosity, what are examples of crazy,

    evil things your narc mother has done and how do you cope? -My Story - There is some consolation in finally coming to terms with my abusive childhood and failed adulthood...decades of questions...what is wrong with me? Why am I unlovable and worthless? Finally, in my 30s, I have...
    freedomchaser freedomchaser 36-40, F 5 Responses Dec 29, 2013

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    After a month and two weeks she has given in to

    bathing him. As well as that she has proceeded to ignoring me and worshipping him. She won't acknowledge me or speak to me with respect. She is cold and emotionless.
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Apr 4

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    Feeling quite sad tonight.

    As each day goes on I realise more and more of the damage my Narc mother has been doing my whole life. Things I blocked out are coming back up. I feel so distracted, then just lie in bed at night exhausted yet not able to sleep because my mind is all over the place. Rant over...
    mummytozach mummytozach 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 16

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    She violates your boundaries.

    You feel like an extension of her. Your property is given away without your consent, sometimes in front of you. Your food is eaten off your plate or given to others off your plate. Your property may be repossessed and no reason given other than that it was never yours. Your time...
    rescueme99 rescueme99 41-45 3 Responses Mar 4

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    If you haven't heard it yet,

    listen to Human- Christina Perri Thinking of it from a victim of narcissistic abuse's perspective hits home
    SpokenSilence SpokenSilence 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    Hello...... I am hoping somebody could give me

    some advice, I'll explain my situation and I'll try to keep it short.... I think I have a narcissistic mother. In fact I am pretty sure I do but I find the whole thing confusing. I am a 37 year old woman and I have always known my mother is overbearing , selfish, has no self...
    blueberry36 blueberry36 36-40, F 8 Responses Apr 11, 2014

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    I wish I had known many years ago what I know

    now. All these years of trying to please, wanting to be loved. I have a brother who is the golden child, I am the scapegoat. I am always so depressed and irritated after talking with her. I always think it's going to be different, that she is really going to love me. And...
    janepr janepr 56-60, F 3 Responses Jun 3, 2014

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    As she was rattling on just

    before I whispered "shut up narc". Just sick of her. Sick of the fact she doesn't care about me and gets angry when I say she doesn't love me when everything shows she doesn't. I'm sick of every deed she does for me she rubs in my face and forces me to thank her again and again...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 1 Response Apr 11

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    I thought I would never say this about my mother

    but after everything, I have no feelings other than this. I hate her, everything she is and everything she pretends to be.
    SpokenSilence SpokenSilence 26-30, F Apr 4

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    I miss who she used to be

    before she met my stepfather. I believe she has always had these traits. But he brought the beast to the surface. What happened to be mother who would respond to my tears? Instead of smirking or ignoring them? What happened to the mother I could talk to? The part that hurts the...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 Apr 1

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    I have a potential narcissist mother

    who I rent a property from. She convinced me to rent from her when I was working and I stupidly agreed. Things took a turn for the worse in my life, was made redundant and bullied a lot at work, even receiving racist abuse (I am white) . I was diagnosed after this with aspergers...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 17

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    She went to attack my skin again.

    She does it pretty often I guess. She last did it about early yesterday and the day before. I admit I do let her sometimes, because if I resist she gets injured by her arthritis and blames me for hurting bad. And it's so hard to resist her because she puts a grip on me. Well...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 16 hrs ago

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    Comes to me solely to say he is asleep again.

    Said sadly of course. She says "what am I gonna do" and I know it's about hating him. She says the usual broken record "it's been 6 years" and I just say what I always do (told her numerous times and to please her I just acknowledge him or go on with life). She says in her usual...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 1 Response 6 days ago

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    After Years Of Suffering...

    A single session with my psychologist was able to hammer out the fact that my mother is narcissistic. Weeks prior to that, she threatened to disown my brother and I'd started to emotionally detach from her. Finding out she was narcissistic helped me continue a path of recovery I...
    Tsirian527 Tsirian527 26-30, F 5 Responses Nov 13, 2010

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    I want to reach out to all of my new

    aquaintances here and wish you love and peace in the new year. If you can, sit quietly and meditate for a few minutes. Reassure yourself that you are good....that you deserve love and respect....that you want to rid your life of toxins and negative thinking. Do something...
    sanderbender sanderbender 46-50, F 6 Responses Dec 27, 2013

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    At my house. She raided my fridge

    and throws everything around. I now have bloody beef dripping onto my fridge shelves and random things all over my floors. I demanded she pick up the mess and scrub my fridge. Her response? "You can do it, not my problem. You're unbelievable." Then storms off. Ridiculous.
    SpokenSilence SpokenSilence 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    Why did it take me 33 years to realize this?

    Almost immediately after typing that question I feel doubt and shame not because I should have known years ago but because I feel I am throwing my family under the bus. My mom has mastered her craft because I really believe I am worthless and disgusting even though I am aware of...
    klaw25 klaw25 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2014

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    I have recently learned to adapt to my mother's

    subtle abuse with either a quick retort back or simply not giving her any ammunition to use behind my back. I wrote an earlier story about how my mother managed to obtain temporary custody of my, one year daughter behind my back, while I was battling cancer. It took me a...
    amazingyou amazingyou 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 14, 2014

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    My adopted mom reminds me of the movie "Mommie

    Dearest". She's a very cold, manipulating and narcissistic woman. Wasn't long ago on a Friday afternoon that she showed her true colors to a complete stranger. She usually puts up a fake front to those that don't know her. But this time she slipped up. I was being wheeled...
    hadyourchance hadyourchance 36-40, F 14 Responses Apr 14, 2014

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    There is a special place in hell

    for narcissistic mothers. Narcissistic mothers do not have children for the same reasons the rest of us do. They do not look forward to the birth of their child because they can’t wait to see what they look like or what type of personality they will have or who they will...
    rescueme99 rescueme99 41-45 4 Responses Apr 15

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    I am just coming to the realization

    that I am the adult daughter of a narcissistic mother. It is only now that I have found an interest in psychology and have done some reading that I finally recognize what I hated, but thought was normal for 23 years. I have had an exceptionally difficult 6 months. After...
    n2385 n2385 22-25, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    been there done that.

    i keep a blog and one day i realize how badly mother affect me. there is a post about 'being self absorb'. that dear friends of mine said, 'you are self absorbed'. and i ask her,' what is self absorb?' she said, 'you will know'. in the blog, i wrote about how i have no idea...
    fien fien 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 14, 2013

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    She convinced me she was broke

    and couldn't afford her blood pressure medicine, so I gave her money for it (nothing less, nothing more). She has been buying fast food and other 'treats' lately. She had money the entire time just wanted sympathy, and money. I hate everything that she is.
    SpokenSilence SpokenSilence 26-30, F Mar 31

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    I am a just turned 23 yr ol college dropout.

    I dropped out from the best design college in the country after suffering from mental problems. I have been at home for 1.5 yrs and in dis time i realized dat my mom had been a narcissist all my life and i had been abused emotionally and dat der was no truth in the fact dat i...
    Heretorant Heretorant 22-25, F Apr 2

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    Her precious stink bum is her darling again.

    Caring, asking how he is, asking if he is ok, getting angry at me, not talking to me. Back on "worship mode" where I'm back to nothing again. She is so rude and she said something to me and I repeated it and she said how awful I am that I treat her like that. Lol. She is putting...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 2 Responses Apr 13

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    Ready

    She will never love me. She cannot love. She will never be sorry. She cannot process guilt. She will never stop blaming me. She cannot accept responsibility. She will never stop bad mouthing me. She cannot live without attention. She will never stop claiming my...
    MoBrix MoBrix 31-35, F 12 Responses Apr 19, 2013

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    Always Gauging

    Do any of you notice that you are constantly trying gauge others reactions or responses, body language, or looks? I am aware that I have constantly through out my life been hyper aware of others reaction to me. I am now seeing that this is related to how I was programmed to not...
    Haretm Haretm 41-45 8 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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