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I Have A Narcissistic Mother

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 754 People

    Celebrating my 1 year of going no contact.

    It is unbelievable what a year i had. I got married and had a baby boy. I went no contact after she refused to attend my wedding cause she didnt have a date.... YES, that was the final straw after years of abuse, manipulation and just pure narcissism. I have not spoken to my...
    Misstaco Misstaco 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 7, 2014

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    "When Shame feels Mothering: The Tragedy of

    Parentified Daughters" http://womboflight.com/2014/02/01/when-shame-is-mother-the-tragedy-of-parentified-daughters/
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response May 4

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    I'm in my 30s and confronting what happened to

    me as a child for the first time. Every week or so, something new occurs to me. This week I am thinking about just how hard my narcissistic mother had to work to turn me into a scapegoat. As a child, I was exceptional. There seemed to be nothing I couldn't do. I was a talented...
    desdemonamcphee desdemonamcphee 31-35 1 Response May 8

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    Always Gauging

    Do any of you notice that you are constantly trying gauge others reactions or responses, body language, or looks? I am aware that I have constantly through out my life been hyper aware of others reaction to me. I am now seeing that this is related to how I was programmed to not...
    Haretm Haretm 41-45 9 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    Why did it take me 33 years to realize this?

    Almost immediately after typing that question I feel doubt and shame not because I should have known years ago but because I feel I am throwing my family under the bus. My mom has mastered her craft because I really believe I am worthless and disgusting even though I am aware of...
    klaw25 klaw25 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2014

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    To all who understand

    and to all that never will. Here is a poem for all the women who live with this invisible pain. I am tired of being your rag doll. I have spread myself far and wide for people who I could never say no to I have been a rag doll for many men A slave willingly offering my...
    rescueme99 rescueme99 41-45 1 Response Mar 4

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    Her behavior is driving me insane.

    Her and my dad are separated and trying to get a divorce. Over a year ago she started cheating on my dad with my brother's friends' dad. So, back then she told my dad she no longer loves him (but didn't tell him it was because she met someone else). She says it's because she...
    imagine524 imagine524 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 23

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    Out of curiosity, what are examples of crazy,

    evil things your narc mother has done and how do you cope? -My Story - There is some consolation in finally coming to terms with my abusive childhood and failed adulthood...decades of questions...what is wrong with me? Why am I unlovable and worthless? Finally, in my 30s, I have...
    freedomchaser freedomchaser 36-40, F 6 Responses Dec 29, 2013

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    Finally moving out of her house.

    It's been 22 years of bullshit. I used to take it all without any complaints. She just yells and rages at me and doesn't even acknowledge that I'm there. Whenever I say something, she acts like she doesn't know what I'm saying and asks me to repeat it at least 3 times. She...
    Chelley1993 Chelley1993 22-25, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I want to reach out to all of my new

    aquaintances here and wish you love and peace in the new year. If you can, sit quietly and meditate for a few minutes. Reassure yourself that you are good....that you deserve love and respect....that you want to rid your life of toxins and negative thinking. Do something...
    sanderbender sanderbender 46-50, F 6 Responses Dec 27, 2013

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    This last couple of days have been hard.

    I'm in my late thirties and some time ago I realized that my mother has always hurt me and make me look back in front of siblings. I remember an incident when I was Ten when she and my brother gained up on my and screamed nasty things in my face. My brother is six years older...
    jeanney75 jeanney75 36-40 2 Responses Jun 1

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    She violates your boundaries.

    You feel like an extension of her. Your property is given away without your consent, sometimes in front of you. Your food is eaten off your plate or given to others off your plate. Your property may be repossessed and no reason given other than that it was never yours. Your time...
    rescueme99 rescueme99 41-45 3 Responses Mar 4

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    I don't understand why they don't eventually

    just face their demons...there are people with depression who actually deal with their emotions. I've heard that their fake bs is like carefully crafted frosting they use to cover the empty void inside of them. But what is that void? Depression? Is tearing people down and...
    strawberryletter22 strawberryletter22 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 1

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    I hate my mother. I could make a list of all

    the terrible things she has done.
    flo877 flo877 13-15, F Jun 20

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    My Story

    My mom is a narcissist. I have realized this, put a name to it and come to terms with it, now I just have to go NC for good. Growing up, I never understood how my mother couldn't love me. I have one older sister and she is the "good" one, because she did everything "right" and...
    flipflop72 flipflop72 36-40, F 8 Responses Sep 24, 2013

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    Hello...... I am hoping somebody could give me

    some advice, I'll explain my situation and I'll try to keep it short.... I think I have a narcissistic mother. In fact I am pretty sure I do but I find the whole thing confusing. I am a 37 year old woman and I have always known my mother is overbearing , selfish, has no self...
    blueberry36 blueberry36 36-40, F 8 Responses Apr 11, 2014

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    I've been in a lot of pain lately

    and felt so alone and unwanted. I know I'm a burden and she hates me being unwell. I've been depressed lately which started when she started being nasty to me again. I believe that triggered a lot of pain in me. I tried to talk to her today and I attached this photo. I blanked...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 May 31

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    It Took Me 36 Years To Figure This Out.

    "I gave you milk as a baby. I fed you, I clothed you. What else could you want?" ( I was premature and in the hospital for quite a while after I was born.) "Choose this wedding dress. Do it for your mother. I have cancer." (she was in remission). "When you have a child, I hope...
    ebabella ebabella 36-40, F 8 Responses Sep 11, 2013

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    I am currently trying to accept

    that I do indeed have a narcissistic mother. She is the engulfing type, and always has been,which I think is why it's hard to admit that she wasn't a good mom. She has always bought us tons of things, and given lavish gifts, but they always have strings attached. Guilt is her...
    Tywyn1024 Tywyn1024 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 13

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    Surviving a narcissistic mother is a process,

    not an event. You probably didn’t grow up with the knowledge that you even had a narcissistic mother. You may not have known at the time how to determine whether you were treated wrongly or not by your mother. After all, your childhood was experienced by you and you alone...
    rescueme99 rescueme99 41-45 Jun 23

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    Urghhhhhhhgg my mum decided to do my split ends

    today (cut them), I told her yesterday and today how much I wanted off. I didn't ask her to do my hair. She just has been asking and snipping when I'm sitting down. She did the side facing her while I say with her today. Looked just now. Bleeping hell!!!!! She cut so much off...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 1 Response Jun 18

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    Nothing I have ever done is " good enough"

    but Im learning to step away from the chocolate as I used to abuse my body by binge eating after she had abused me. No more will I damage myself, my health, my life...because of her. She isnt worth it. She is the worthless one, not me.She chose to use my weaknesses against me in...
    SteelButterfly SteelButterfly 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 3

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    "PAYBACKS ARE A ***** AND SO IS MY

    MOTHER" Caring for an aging narcissistic mother is hard. As the child of a narcissistic mother, chances are that when your mother needs you most, your compassion has already been worn threadbare by her ever-changing demands long before she approached her frailest years. You...
    rescueme99 rescueme99 41-45 1 Response Jun 23

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    Epiphany

    My relationship with my mother has been such a source of pain, abandonment, anger, and frustration for the past six years. However, a few days ago my psychologist told me that she believes I have a Narcissistic Personality Disoerdered mother. I had no clue that you could even...
    lmbksu lmbksu 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 12, 2013

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    Well, I *had* a narcissistic mother.

    ..she has run away! No idea where she has gone, but have a few ideas as she is in a cult that has been telling her she's perfect and that she doesn't need Dr's or medical help... Actually, she didn't leave a note or any clue. I don't actually know where my Mother is. We have all...
    SteelButterfly SteelButterfly 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 6

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    I feel like a weight has been lifted

    and I can think more clearly now for myself after doing some research on psychology and reading about narcissistic mothers. I questioned so much about what was right and wrong because of the games my mom played with my emotions. My guy was telling me my mom was being selfish...
    twistedheart99 twistedheart99 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2014

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    She violated my trust again.

    Plays the act of being so right and I am so wrong. That she is the queen of being so RIGHT and full of power. Her and my evil stepfather make such a perfect match.
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 1 Response May 27

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    After Years Of Suffering...

    A single session with my psychologist was able to hammer out the fact that my mother is narcissistic. Weeks prior to that, she threatened to disown my brother and I'd started to emotionally detach from her. Finding out she was narcissistic helped me continue a path of recovery I...
    Tsirian527 Tsirian527 26-30, F 5 Responses Nov 13, 2010

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    I hate crying, I'm so sick of being unloved,

    I'm sick of her not caring, I'm sick of her lies and games, I'm sick of him meaning all to her. I'm sick and tired of this. I felt suicidal again and I'm fed up. I wish I knew what to do
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 1 Response May 25

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    Ready

    She will never love me. She cannot love. She will never be sorry. She cannot process guilt. She will never stop blaming me. She cannot accept responsibility. She will never stop bad mouthing me. She cannot live without attention. She will never stop claiming my...
    MoBrix MoBrix 31-35, F 12 Responses Apr 19, 2013

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    When you have a narcissistic mother,

    you are not taught how to care for the self. Instead, you are taught by experience with your mother that if you don’t guess what someone wants, when and how they want it, you will suffer. This is a twofold challenge because first, you don’t get taught how to self care...
    rescueme99 rescueme99 41-45 1 Response Jun 23

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    Happy mothers day!!!!

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 9

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    My mother continuously makes every thing about

    her... And when it's not about her, she has an attitude.
    sincerelynikki sincerelynikki 31-35, F May 27

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    So it was my parents birthday yesterday.

    Yes they were both born on the same day. I think it's been about a month since I went no contact with my mother. But I did go out and meet up with my dad for his birthday. They have been divorced since I was 8. This is the first time I didn't contact her at all. I didn't send a...
    Tabetha7 Tabetha7 36-40, F 4 Responses Feb 14, 2014

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    I have been NC with her

    for over 3 years now. It took me almost 40 years to figure it out but once I did there was no turning back. I was raised by a woman without the capacity to love me. Sure she showed love to my brother GOLDEN CHILD, 6 years my junior and some to my sister, 8 years my senior. I...
    supercalitex supercalitex 41-45, F 3 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    An interesting article about narcissistic

    parents entitled, "The Most Harmful Kind of Parent" there is a part two to it as well. http://blogs.psychcentral.com/psychoanalysis-now/2015/04/the-most-harmful-kind-of-parent/#.VV-PV-hHThU.facebook
    Etheros Etheros 46-50, F May 29

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    Yes..

    I am coming here tonight to share this part of my story, and to vent in a place where people Know what I am talking about. One of the things they say about Narcisism, is that the only way to know it is to have lived through/ around it. And I believe it`s true, there are lots of...
    gia99 gia99 18-21, F 9 Responses Feb 14, 2013

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    I have learned something

    that it's very interesting. My mother is a narcissist, my dad is the enabler. She goes off in the worst kind of emotional and spiritual abuse, and my dad silently backs her up. He covers up for her horrific being. He makes excuses for her. I used to be very attached to my...
    pistacchia pistacchia 46-50, F 11 Responses Sep 9, 2014

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    What I used to believe about my mom is quickly

    disintegrating as I admit that I didn't have a good childhood and that my family wasn't good to me back then and they aren't good to me now. I held on to the few good times we had and discarded the bad times which were most of the time. As I accept this a lot of memories are...
    Wbyogimaso Wbyogimaso 26-30, M 1 Response May 13

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    My Husband Just Told Me About His Narcisistic Mother

    The story he told me sent me reeling. It was like hearing a horror story. I couldn't sleep last night and is all I could think about today. First,I should say,I wasn't raised by a narcissist and I feel so lucky. I am thanking my lucky stars today. I cannot imagine growing up...
    springstarbaby springstarbaby 31-35, F 4 Responses Nov 1, 2013

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    This morning I woke up feeling I own myself a

    hug and a kiss.... My mother has made an effort in her sadistic way to make me shrink into nothing and make me feel terrible about myself. Just as a quick example, on the effect she has on me, my little dog went into heart failure, and I was devastated....... And I feel she is...
    pistacchia pistacchia 46-50, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    In the years since I researched

    and wrote Mean Mothers, I’ve talked to women about our shared experiences. Every woman’s story is different, of course; perhaps the greatest commonality is the discovery that each of us is not alone, that we are not the only girls or women on the planet to have had mothers...
    rescueme99 rescueme99 41-45 4 Responses Apr 11

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    'mom has dementia.' hah!

    nope, i am not going to say that. mom has NPD. Lying about her condition is one step forward to be like her. Mom is in her 50's. She can't be blame. She can't process shame. There is part of me, want to take short cut, easy way out, explaining, 'she show early sign of...
    fien fien 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 15, 2014

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    I just want someone to talk to without

    judgement... Someone who has gone through what I went through who can open up, listen and commiserate...
    Boogie82 Boogie82 31-35, M 1 Response a week ago

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    I wish I had known many years ago what I know

    now. All these years of trying to please, wanting to be loved. I have a brother who is the golden child, I am the scapegoat. I am always so depressed and irritated after talking with her. I always think it's going to be different, that she is really going to love me. And...
    janepr janepr 56-60, F 3 Responses Jun 3, 2014

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    my mother is trying to provoke me again

    and again. she comes in my room and starts yelling at me fr no obvious reason. she came just now third time yelling that I used too many tissue papers fr soaking the oil on french fries. those were not too many tissues just a few and she wouldn't care if I threw all of them...
    deleted deleted 26-30 a week ago

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