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I Have A Narcissistic Mother

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 862 People

    So it was my parents birthday yesterday.

    Yes they were both born on the same day. I think it's been about a month since I went no contact with my mother. But I did go out and meet up with my dad for his birthday. They have been divorced since I was 8. This is the first time I didn't contact her at all. I didn't send a...
    Tabetha7 Tabetha7 36-40, F 4 Responses Feb 14, 2014

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    I am now in my 30s and i have only just stood

    up to my mother's narcissistic ways. I confronted her about a recent situation (she had told another family something that i specifically asked her the day before not to which caused unnecessary drama and hurt between family members.) Although there is a lot of unresolved issues...
    HCD6 HCD6 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 19, 2015

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    Classic narc family occurence; I got a letter

    from my father asking me to un-remember recent put-downs from my narc mother on several calls between September and November. After those calls I just didn't want to have conversations with her anymore since she really has nothing nice to say. I find it hard to answer back...
    Decaturite Decaturite 41-45, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    PKay1313 PKay1313 51-55, F Jan 7

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    In the years since I researched

    and wrote Mean Mothers, I’ve talked to women about our shared experiences. Every woman’s story is different, of course; perhaps the greatest commonality is the discovery that each of us is not alone, that we are not the only girls or women on the planet to have had mothers...
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule 41-45 4 Responses Apr 11, 2015

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    My Husband Just Told Me About His Narcisistic Mother

    The story he told me sent me reeling. It was like hearing a horror story. I couldn't sleep last night and is all I could think about today. First,I should say,I wasn't raised by a narcissist and I feel so lucky. I am thanking my lucky stars today. I cannot imagine growing up...
    springstarbaby springstarbaby 31-35, F 4 Responses Nov 1, 2013

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    "Do my parents have a right to see my children

    if they don't love me?" http://emergingfrombroken.com/do-my-parents-have-a-right-to-see-my-children-if-they-dont-love-me/
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 4 Responses Dec 20, 2015

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    It hurts when she goes on about her dead family

    and "the family she loved are all dead". She will cry, be sad etc but with me she never shows any love. Only conditional when her and her darling abusive husband have a fight. If I dare be happy and laugh "stop watching ****!" And tells my stepfather to come and growl me...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 46-50 1 Response 6 days ago

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    My adopted mom reminds me of the movie "Mommie

    Dearest". She's a very cold, manipulating and narcissistic woman. Wasn't long ago on a Friday afternoon that she showed her true colors to a complete stranger. She usually puts up a fake front to those that don't know her. But this time she slipped up. I was being wheeled...
    hadyourchance hadyourchance 36-40, F 15 Responses Apr 14, 2014

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    Unfortunately I do. She is the best

    and the worst. The best because she's the only mother I will ever have and the worst because she turns people against me and tries to separate me from other family members. She's never happy unless there's a drama which she's at the centre of...I have grown used to her ways and...
    SteelButterfly SteelButterfly 41-45, F 6 Responses Apr 29, 2015

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    Helpful Books: * Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

    Healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers - Karyl McBride, Ph.D. * Children of the Self-Absorbed A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents - Nina W. Brown, Ed.D., LPC * Toxic Parents Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life - Susan Forward...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Dec 13, 2015

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    She left my father after 50 years,

    without even a word of explanation. She refused to communicate with me to say she was safe or well. She left us devastated and confused. She now is suing my Dad and claiming he was abusive. My Dad is surely not abusive. If anything my mother is the emotional abuser. I should...
    SteelButterfly SteelButterfly 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    I am almost 16 years old

    and I left my narcissistic mother about 6 months ago. I am living at my dads with my stepmom, who is and was my only true mother because of all she did for me. I was in recovery for anorexia, depression, anxiety, and I had really bad sleeping problems my freshman year of high...
    kayla459 kayla459 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 29

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    Sometimes I try to justify in my head,

    why my mother was so evil to me? Did her mother abuse her, was my father abusive to her. Does she have low self esteem, she is just uncomfortable with her emotions. But as I get older and have a family of my own I realize something. Despite the severe abuse I endured as a child...
    SisterJudahWarrior777 SisterJudahWarrior777 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 2, 2015

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    I've been NC with my NM,

    GC brother and his family since September 2014. I've blocked their numbers a few times. The block comes off after a while. My mother and brother were together when they called me Christmas, wishing us a Merry Christmas and that she has presents for my daughter. No thanks. I...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 3 Responses Dec 28, 2015

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    I am having trouble navigating my relationship

    with my parents. I am very worried about going to see them. Lately my father has developed a very serious form of cancer, so my husband and I are planning to visit him, staying with friends and my brother so as not to create a nuisance. My husband and I live across the...
    Decaturite Decaturite 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 27

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    It Took Me 36 Years To Figure This Out.

    "I gave you milk as a baby. I fed you, I clothed you. What else could you want?" ( I was premature and in the hospital for quite a while after I was born.) "Choose this wedding dress. Do it for your mother. I have cancer." (she was in remission). "When you have a child, I hope...
    ebabella ebabella 36-40, F 8 Responses Sep 11, 2013

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    I want to reach out to all of my new

    aquaintances here and wish you love and peace in the new year. If you can, sit quietly and meditate for a few minutes. Reassure yourself that you are good....that you deserve love and respect....that you want to rid your life of toxins and negative thinking. Do something...
    sanderbender sanderbender 46-50, F 6 Responses Dec 27, 2013

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    A little while ago I joined this site

    and was saying that I was thinking of going no contact with my covert narcissist mother. I have done it now and have been no contact for about 2 weeks after a few emails we sent each other. I basically told her to stay away from me and the people I love. It is hard, but not in...
    NoLabelGirl NoLabelGirl 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 13, 2015

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    After some time of her not being mean to me

    or verbally abusing me I began to like her. This morning she was supposed to come pick me up for school. I call her and she's at a town almost an hour away ad tells me to walk to the bus stop in the rain. What a fvcking bi tch. She's so damn narcissistic and only thinks about...
    AnonymousJSS AnonymousJSS 13-15, F 3 Responses Jan 28

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    I finally realised, about two years ago,

    that my mother is a narcissist. How this could have escaped me all this time, I don't know. That's how well I was brainwashed. My mother had eight children, for whom she sacrificed everything (martyr-like sigh). She had led a life of hard work and sacrifice, because of us...
    Pasmore Pasmore 51-55, F 3 Responses Sep 16, 2015

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    This morning I woke up feeling I own myself a

    hug and a kiss.... My mother has made an effort in her sadistic way to make me shrink into nothing and make me feel terrible about myself. Just as a quick example, on the effect she has on me, my little dog went into heart failure, and I was devastated....... And I feel she is...
    pistacchia pistacchia 46-50, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    After Years Of Suffering...

    A single session with my psychologist was able to hammer out the fact that my mother is narcissistic. Weeks prior to that, she threatened to disown my brother and I'd started to emotionally detach from her. Finding out she was narcissistic helped me continue a path of recovery I...
    Tsirian527 Tsirian527 26-30, F 5 Responses Nov 13, 2010

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    Epiphany

    My relationship with my mother has been such a source of pain, abandonment, anger, and frustration for the past six years. However, a few days ago my psychologist told me that she believes I have a Narcissistic Personality Disoerdered mother. I had no clue that you could even...
    lmbksu lmbksu 26-30, F 3 Responses Oct 12, 2013

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    I just found out I have a NM a couple days ago

    and I can't believe I never realized it before. It explains so much. I told my psychiatrist what I found out and she agreed from what I told her about my experiences - I have only been seeing her for a few weeks and she didn't know enough to make that determination herself...
    jnlsings jnlsings 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 13, 2015

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    A letter came in the mail addressed to my

    husband (it was in my dad's handwriting) and when I opened it, it was cards to the kids in my mom's handwriting. They still spell my daughters name wrong (and have always pronounced it wrong). She's 10. But whatever. I haven't told the kids about the card with money in it...
    thegirlwithnomom thegirlwithnomom 41-45, F 3 Responses Dec 24, 2015

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    I have been NC with her

    for over 3 years now. It took me almost 40 years to figure it out but once I did there was no turning back. I was raised by a woman without the capacity to love me. Sure she showed love to my brother GOLDEN CHILD, 6 years my junior and some to my sister, 8 years my senior. I...
    supercalitex supercalitex 41-45, F 3 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    Dilemma. My two sisters are in contact with

    my parents. I stopped discussing anything with them about it but they chose today to tell me that their long time companion dog (who was beloved by us, the kids) had to be put to sleep. Now, i respond to the email that I wasn't aware he had surgery (they were, as they are in...
    thegirlwithnomom thegirlwithnomom 41-45, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2015

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    I feel like a weight has been lifted

    and I can think more clearly now for myself after doing some research on psychology and reading about narcissistic mothers. I questioned so much about what was right and wrong because of the games my mom played with my emotions. My guy was telling me my mom was being selfish...
    twistedheart99 twistedheart99 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2014

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    Why did it take me 33 years to realize this?

    Almost immediately after typing that question I feel doubt and shame not because I should have known years ago but because I feel I am throwing my family under the bus. My mom has mastered her craft because I really believe I am worthless and disgusting even though I am aware of...
    klaw25 klaw25 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2014

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    I wonder if anyone here

    who has gone no contact with their mother has dealt with the healing process from doing this? I've read about the mourning process after a loved one has died, and I feel like I am going through this process now after going no contact with my mother a year ago. is it possible...
    yogihope yogihope 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 28, 2015

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    My first memories are of her.

    Shouting. Screaming. Fighting. Arguing. Drama. Stress. I remember hiding in a cupboard to pray that I'd never BE like her. I was about four. I've always wondered if anyone else has these memories of NOT wanting to be like their parent at a young age? Growing up, I hid a lot...
    SteelButterfly SteelButterfly 41-45, F 5 Responses Jan 4

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    First of all, thank you

    for sharing; I can't imagine what would I have done without people in the same situation I am posting their stories, knowing I am not the only one, knowing that NP are REPLICAS, realizing I am not alone, I am not crazy, I am not bad in essence. I have asked my mother several...
    alinie alinie 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 11, 2014

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    Now it just feels like a really awful book I

    read a long time ago but couldn't quite finish to the end of the story.
    kayla459 kayla459 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    My mother spent three days continuously calling

    me names and trying to press my buttons. She called me a ****, a “piece of Satan”, and a horribly sadistic person. She didn’t stop until I left to my boyfriend’s. Once I got back she immediately came up to me and asked “What makes you think that I said those things...
    JHicks28 JHicks28 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I have a narc mother

    who I also work for. I can never tell if it's going to be a good day or a bad one. I am forced into working overtime because if I don't SHE will have to. I have to stay over just to get my side work done because she has a MIGRANE or HER BACK HURTS. My new favorite is she has a...
    paigeelovee paigeelovee 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 12, 2015

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    I am currently trying to accept

    that I do indeed have a narcissistic mother. She is the engulfing type, and always has been,which I think is why it's hard to admit that she wasn't a good mom. She has always bought us tons of things, and given lavish gifts, but they always have strings attached. Guilt is her...
    Tywyn1024 Tywyn1024 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2015

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    I have recently learned to adapt to my mother's

    subtle abuse with either a quick retort back or simply not giving her any ammunition to use behind my back. I wrote an earlier story about how my mother managed to obtain temporary custody of my, one year daughter behind my back, while I was battling cancer. It took me a...
    amazingyou amazingyou 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 14, 2014

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    I have learned something

    that it's very interesting. My mother is a narcissist, my dad is the enabler. She goes off in the worst kind of emotional and spiritual abuse, and my dad silently backs her up. He covers up for her horrific being. He makes excuses for her. I used to be very attached to my...
    pistacchia pistacchia 46-50, F 11 Responses Sep 9, 2014

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    I've never posted in a blog before.

    Ever. However this issue is very isolating and I think the only people who understand it are those who have lived it. It goes against the core of most people to understand how you cannot having a loving relationship with your mother. That's how I got here. I am 46. I have been...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Dec 18, 2015

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    To all who understand

    and to all that never will. Here is a poem for all the women who live with this invisible pain. I am tired of being your rag doll. I have spread myself far and wide for people who I could never say no to I have been a rag doll for many men A slave willingly offering my...
    rescuemuttsrule rescuemuttsrule 41-45 1 Response Mar 4, 2015

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    Always Gauging

    Do any of you notice that you are constantly trying gauge others reactions or responses, body language, or looks? I am aware that I have constantly through out my life been hyper aware of others reaction to me. I am now seeing that this is related to how I was programmed to not...
    Haretm Haretm 41-45 10 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    hi everyone, i would like to share some

    progress i have made since last update. 5 things i am getting used to 1. having an opinion as once upon a time golden child, i have to resist sharing my point of view or feeling. if mother feels sad, i MUST feel sad TOO. if she feels happy, i must feel HAPPY too, regardless of...
    fien fien 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 12, 2015

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    I've realised that the thing I crave more

    than finding a partner and becoming a wife or mother, is that I just really want to be a daughter to a loving mother. At 26 I should probably be thinking about starting my own family, but my only desire is to be a part of someone else's family as a daughter to a mother who can...
    yogihope yogihope 22-25, F 5 hrs ago

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    8 Types of Toxic Patterns in Mother-Daughter

    Relationships https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tech-support/201502/8-types-toxic-patterns-in-mother-daughter-relationships
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2015

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