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I Have A Narcissistic Mother

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 658 People

    Yes..

    I am coming here tonight to share this part of my story, and to vent in a place where people Know what I am talking about. One of the things they say about Narcisism, is that the only way to know it is to have lived through/ around it. And I believe it`s true, there are lots of...
    gia99 gia99 18-21, F 9 Responses Feb 14, 2013

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    After I left for college I thought things would

    be better. They definitely are compared to before. But every time I come home things tend to downward spiral. I'm currently a junior and still dealing with this. I'm afraid one day I'll just have to cut her off... and I don't want it to come down to that. My dad and her are...
    cutexmuffin524 cutexmuffin524 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 26, 2014

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    Great article, "How to repair the toxic legacy

    of a bad Mother." http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2155524/How-repair-toxic-legacy-bad-mother.html
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    After Years Of Suffering...

    A single session with my psychologist was able to hammer out the fact that my mother is narcissistic. Weeks prior to that, she threatened to disown my brother and I'd started to emotionally detach from her. Finding out she was narcissistic helped me continue a path of recovery I...
    Tsirian527 Tsirian527 26-30, F 5 Responses Nov 13, 2010

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    Great article, "My Mother Doesn’t Love Me

    and the Process of Grieving." http://emergingfrombroken.com/my-mother-doesn%E2%80%99t-love-me-and-the-process-of-grieving/
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 30, 2014

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    I am the only child of a narcissistic mother.

    I am her only relative and she is in poor health. Where does that leave me?
    AngelSuze AngelSuze 41-45, F Dec 31, 2014

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    The Debt: When terrible,

    abusive parents come crawling back, what do their grown children owe them? http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.single.html
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 4, 2014

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    Hello everyone I need advice I have gone low

    contact with my NM & mostly I'm managing it very well & I am a lot happier . I'm on crutches at the moment for an injury & she has definitely tried to use it as a reason to get back into my life a lot more. I was aware of this from the start & didn't let it happen , however...
    blueberry36 blueberry36 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 28, 2014

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    I feel like a weight has been lifted

    and I can think more clearly now for myself after doing some research on psychology and reading about narcissistic mothers. I questioned so much about what was right and wrong because of the games my mom played with my emotions. My guy was telling me my mom was being selfish...
    twistedheart99 twistedheart99 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 28, 2014

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    Mother's Day was really sad this year.

    I had to watch all the loving mothers at dinner and brunch hug their children. Not that I am envious, just that I lack that very sensation and it feels unjust. Instead, I got emails with bipolar threats ranging from her talking about a will, to her saying she might talk about me...
    CarolLaVerite CarolLaVerite 31-35, F 1 Response May 31, 2014

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    'mom has dementia.' hah!

    nope, i am not going to say that. mom has NPD. Lying about her condition is one step forward to be like her. Mom is in her 50's. She can't be blame. She can't process shame. There is part of me, want to take short cut, easy way out, explaining, 'she show early sign of...
    fien fien 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 15, 2014

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    This morning I woke up feeling I own myself a

    hug and a kiss.... My mother has made an effort in her sadistic way to make me shrink into nothing and make me feel terrible about myself. Just as a quick example, on the effect she has on me, my little dog went into heart failure, and I was devastated....... And I feel she is...
    pistacchia pistacchia 46-50, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    I have to go to coffee with my mom today

    and I'm dreading it entirely. I am not good at putting on a fake smile and pretending I'm enjoying her company. I have to go so she won't cause drama. I don't know what to talk about because everything gets turned around on her. And advice on what to say or do?
    Siciliansdoitbetter Siciliansdoitbetter 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    I have a Narcissistic Mother-In-Law

    who is such a piece of work! My husband and I have endured blatant rejection at her hands. He was the scapegoat in her little manipulative world and he was very affected until recently when he began counseling. Since my husband started figuring this all out in counseling our...
    springstarbaby springstarbaby 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    Epiphany

    My relationship with my mother has been such a source of pain, abandonment, anger, and frustration for the past six years. However, a few days ago my psychologist told me that she believes I have a Narcissistic Personality Disoerdered mother. I had no clue that you could even...
    lmbksu lmbksu 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 12, 2013

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    So it was my parents birthday yesterday.

    Yes they were both born on the same day. I think it's been about a month since I went no contact with my mother. But I did go out and meet up with my dad for his birthday. They have been divorced since I was 8. This is the first time I didn't contact her at all. I didn't send a...
    Tabetha7 Tabetha7 31-35, F 4 Responses Feb 14, 2014

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    This is a really good website on how to deal

    with NPD . After i broke free from N fmily members, i feel the peace i've always deserved.Proud to say that i managed -the hardest way to break free with the least damage possible. “If you don’t understand how they operate, and how they think, you will not see these things...
    Woudziniska Woudziniska 26-30, F Oct 12, 2014

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    My mom left when I was 12,

    and ever since then she has made my life a living hell. She intentionally tries to make sure I am not happy living with my dad. She tries to create drama every time she hears I am finally doing good. I am trying to live with it but I am stuck under her thumb for another 2 years...
    Siciliansdoitbetter Siciliansdoitbetter 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 28, 2014

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    Hello...... I am hoping somebody could give me

    some advice, I'll explain my situation and I'll try to keep it short.... I think I have a narcissistic mother. In fact I am pretty sure I do but I find the whole thing confusing. I am a 37 year old woman and I have always known my mother is overbearing , selfish, has no self...
    blueberry36 blueberry36 36-40, F 8 Responses Apr 11, 2014

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    Celebrating my 1 year of going no contact.

    It is unbelievable what a year i had. I got married and had a baby boy. I went no contact after she refused to attend my wedding cause she didnt have a date.... YES, that was the final straw after years of abuse, manipulation and just pure narcissism. I have not spoken to my...
    Misstaco Misstaco 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 7, 2014

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    3.5 Years In The Making

    This might be long. Yesterday was the first time in 3.5 year that I have actually sat down and spoke with my mother, other than the occasional run-in at the grocery store. My daughter turned 3 a few weeks ago and I received a text message from my mom telling her happy birthday...
    chantalprost chantalprost 31-35 4 Responses Sep 12, 2013

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    I wish I had known many years ago what I know

    now. All these years of trying to please, wanting to be loved. I have a brother who is the golden child, I am the scapegoat. I am always so depressed and irritated after talking with her. I always think it's going to be different, that she is really going to love me. And...
    janepr janepr 56-60, F 3 Responses Jun 3, 2014

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    Useful Vocab. DS/DB/DC Dear

    sister/brother/cousin DH/DW Darling Hubby/Wife DGD darling grand daughter/ DGS darling grandson DS darling son/DD darling daughter ACON – Adult Child of a Narcissist BPD – Borderline Personality Disorder BTBM - ***** that bore me. DONM – Daughter of Narcissistic Mother ED...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Oct 28, 2014

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    been there done that.

    i keep a blog and one day i realize how badly mother affect me. there is a post about 'being self absorb'. that dear friends of mine said, 'you are self absorbed'. and i ask her,' what is self absorb?' she said, 'you will know'. in the blog, i wrote about how i have no idea...
    fien fien 26-30, F Dec 14, 2013

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    Why did it take me 33 years to realize this?

    Almost immediately after typing that question I feel doubt and shame not because I should have known years ago but because I feel I am throwing my family under the bus. My mom has mastered her craft because I really believe I am worthless and disgusting even though I am aware of...
    klaw25 klaw25 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2014

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    Slowly getting through my first NC Thanksgiving.

    A bit more stressful because my uncle from out of town is staying with my daughter and I. He's spending time with the rest family. Other than letting him know that in order for me to remain in a happy and peaceful place, other than him, I won't be spending any time with the rest...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 26, 2014

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    I am the 24 year old daughter of a narcissistic

    mother who is attempting to deal with being isolated from 3 of my 4 brothers (all who I love very much) after attempting to go no contact with my mother for the second time. Perhaps I shouldn't have dealt with it as I did, calling her out on everything in front of God and...
    lksmart89 lksmart89 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 9, 2014

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    I'm sure this is the question everyone asks:

    How do you maintain to yourself that your mother is narcissistic? And now background (convoluted tldr imminent): I have a mother whose mother abused her first. Her situation sounds like it was worse than mine to me, but you can't really quantify it like that. And I'm aware...
    rootlesswind rootlesswind 26-30 2 Responses Nov 15, 2014

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    So I've been NC with my NM

    and GC brother and his family. We live in the same city, relatively close to each other. Yesterday the other brother who I've been LC said in the future, he wants to talk to me about why I've been avoiding them. My response was "no we won't either." Could he be a FM?? My thought...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 3 Responses Oct 28, 2014

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    What if My Mother or Father Dies Before We

    Resolve our Relationship By Darlene Ouimet - See more at: http://emergingfrombroken.com/what-if-my-mother-or-father-dies-before-we-resolve-our-relationship/#more-4746
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 19, 2014

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    I will make this short!

    my mother always plays the victim,and am always the bad person,been like this all my life,ok am done.
    momonsite momonsite 31-35, F Nov 25, 2014

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    First of all, thank you

    for sharing; I can't imagine what would I have done without people in the same situation I am posting their stories, knowing I am not the only one, knowing that NP are REPLICAS, realizing I am not alone, I am not crazy, I am not bad in essence. I have asked my mother several...
    alinie alinie 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 11, 2014

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    For those of you that understand,

    No explanation is needed. For those of you who do not understand, No explanation is possible.
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 5 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    It's been just over three months

    since I changed my phone number and initiated no contact with my mother, her husband and my aunt. Since going no contact, there was a death in the family and I felt I needed to attend the funeral service and wake. I knew full well that all three of them would be there. I was a...
    ankhgirl ankhgirl 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    How to respond to those

    who ignorantly respond to us with "forgive and forget": I guess you can tell that I disagree and find this callous response more than a little insulting. Why? When one's feelings and emotions have been disregarded for one's entire life, by a cruel maternal monsters, one...
    ubasti ubasti 70+ 6 Responses Feb 18, 2014

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    Hello, I am here with you all,

    having a Narcissistic Mother. You all know how awful it is to deal with, can someone please tell me how I can try to live with this? I have already tried defax.. She lied her way out of course.
    samanthaj27 samanthaj27 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 24, 2014

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    Ready

    She will never love me. She cannot love. She will never be sorry. She cannot process guilt. She will never stop blaming me. She cannot accept responsibility. She will never stop bad mouthing me. She cannot live without attention. She will never stop claiming my...
    MoBrix MoBrix 31-35, F 11 Responses Apr 19, 2013

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    Hi everyone, I'm glad I found this website,

    and I'm now able to share my story with people who will not judge me or think I'm crazy to think my mother is a narcissist. We all know what it is like. I was my mother's scapegoat child my whole child and teen days, and when my sister (the golden child) decided to free herself...
    noite noite 26-30, F Dec 6, 2014

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    This time of year is really difficult.

    All the TV commercials and specials on flowers and chocolates. I am confronted with this paradoxical view of all these smiling and emotionally warm looking mothers in the ads and I feel all kinds of things. Just not the normal ones most people do. I feel a deep deep sadness and...
    lmbksu lmbksu 22-25, F 6 Responses May 7, 2014

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    And I need to get away from her,

    but I can not afford to get my own place. I have income, but it's not enough. I can't trust anyone else to have a roommate, so for a while I must live alone. Any ideas on how I might accomplish getting out of her clutches? Thank you.
    ubrokethatsorry ubrokethatsorry 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 11, 2014

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    My adopted mom reminds me of the movie "Mommie

    Dearest". She's a very cold, manipulating and narcissistic woman. Wasn't long ago on a Friday afternoon that she showed her true colors to a complete stranger. She usually puts up a fake front to those that don't know her. But this time she slipped up. I was being wheeled...
    hadyourchance hadyourchance 31-35, F 13 Responses Apr 14, 2014

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    I've been getting a little complacent lately

    mainly because I am away from home and have not seen my NM since just after Xmas. Her lack of support and contact whilst I have been away is no longer suprising me the more I learn about NPD and read other experiences on here. I only learnt about all this and put a name to it a...
    ignoredeldest ignoredeldest 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 27, 2014

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    I want to reach out to all of my new

    aquaintances here and wish you love and peace in the new year. If you can, sit quietly and meditate for a few minutes. Reassure yourself that you are good....that you deserve love and respect....that you want to rid your life of toxins and negative thinking. Do something...
    sanderbender sanderbender 46-50, F 6 Responses Dec 27, 2013

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    Not spoken to my mother

    since May and the only contact I had was her banging on my front door for 2 days demanding I tell her why we're not talking. I tell her to refer to a letter I sent her 2 years ago as the same issues are still there. Those issues included her not letting me just live my life...
    littlehedgehog littlehedgehog 36-40, F 2 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    I have learned something

    that it's very interesting. My mother is a narcissist, my dad is the enabler. She goes off in the worst kind of emotional and spiritual abuse, and my dad silently backs her up. He covers up for her horrific being. He makes excuses for her. I used to be very attached to my...
    pistacchia pistacchia 46-50, F 11 Responses Sep 9, 2014

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    Hello everyone. I never wanted to resort to

    this, but I feel I am out of other options. Let me start from the beginning. When my mother, Dee, was 9, her father was shot in the head and killed in a robbery while driving a cab to make extra money for his family. She was left with only her mother and her half-sister for...
    NikkiNINTR NikkiNINTR 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    I have recently learned to adapt to my mother's

    subtle abuse with either a quick retort back or simply not giving her any ammunition to use behind my back. I wrote an earlier story about how my mother managed to obtain temporary custody of my, one year daughter behind my back, while I was battling cancer. It took me a...
    amazingyou amazingyou 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 14, 2014

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    Always Gauging

    Do any of you notice that you are constantly trying gauge others reactions or responses, body language, or looks? I am aware that I have constantly through out my life been hyper aware of others reaction to me. I am now seeing that this is related to how I was programmed to not...
    Haretm Haretm 41-45 8 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    So yesterday was my birthday.

    It was great. I celebrated with my hubby and our beautiful son. I was anxious all day, expecting an unannounced visit from NM, because that's what she did last year. She didnt come. She didnt call. And she didnt email. If she did, I would have been mad and kept saying to myself...
    Misstaco Misstaco 26-30, F 4 Responses Nov 4, 2014

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    It's been awhile friends.

    .. Ive been in no contact for over a year. It's been GREAT. I waited to share this story until I was ok, and then came a period of not wanting to talk about it. I still don't but I have to share, because I feel like stories that remind us of why we go NC in the first place are...
    Misstaco Misstaco 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    I have been NC with her

    for over 3 years now. It took me almost 40 years to figure it out but once I did there was no turning back. I was raised by a woman without the capacity to love me. Sure she showed love to my brother GOLDEN CHILD, 6 years my junior and some to my sister, 8 years my senior. I...
    supercalitex supercalitex 41-45, F 3 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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