I Have a Rape Fantasy - Forum & Chat Board | rape vs. dominating/forceful?

I'm a little confused about this.  When I think of rape, I think of someone being forced into sex against their will when they don't want it.  Yet when someone says they have a "rape fantasy," I'm assuming it's something that they want..

so here's my question: Do you actually want someone to come and force you into sex when you don't want to have sex?  Or is it that you want someone to forcefully have sex with you and physically control you, maybe even catch you off guard, yet sex is something you still want from them?

but the thing is- when someone is actually raped, they're not "loosing their inhibitions and putting themself into someone else's hands"- they're forced into it and that has nothing to do with whether they're inhibited or not.  when it happens, it's not their choice and they don't want it to be happening.

I still make the distinction between being dominated/controlled and being raped.

I have always had a rape fantasy since i was a child, as young as 5 years old. And it always comes back from time to time even if i have new fantasies - this one is the best and the strongest one. For me the part of the domination that is enjoyfull is the psychological one, i don't want to be bondaged but i do want the guy to be psychologically controlling me. Maybe that's because in real life i'm the manipulative one and very insightful about other people, so i want to be understood.

But as far as this discussion goes, fantasy is a fantasy and of course the instinct of survival is the most important one in humans, so i'm pretty sure everybody who likes domination wants to keep it under certain control and be able to stop whenever he/she wants and want to be hurt or dominated "their way".

Sexuallity cannot be explained logically and rationally, and this fantasy is on the more "normal side" of sexual fantasies that there exist...

I have always had a rape fantasy since i was a child, as young as 5 years old. And it always comes back from time to time even if i have new fantasies - this one is the best and the strongest one. For me the part of the domination that is enjoyfull is the psychological one, i don't want to be bondaged but i do want the guy to be psychologically controlling me. Maybe that's because in real life i'm the manipulative one and very insightful about other people, so i want to be understood.

But as far as this discussion goes, fantasy is a fantasy and of course the instinct of survival is the most important one in humans, so i'm pretty sure everybody who likes domination wants to keep it under certain control and be able to stop whenever he/she wants and want to be hurt or dominated "their way".

Sexuallity cannot be explained logically and rationally, and this fantasy is on the more "normal side" of sexual fantasies that there exist...

For me, I would love both scenarios. I don't know why I want to be raped, but I really do. I want someone to come into my house, unbeknownst to me, and rape me and **** my brains out. I also want to be dominated and forced during sex. I guess what really turns me on about it is that the fantasies make me feel dirty, like a **** and a *****, and that really turns me on.

I'm with MrsBigGirl.  My rape fantasies involve being taken without my consent.  I don't want to end up damaged and bleeding etc... so, being used as a **** and dirty little ***** that is peed on, passed around and ****** until my eyeballs screw up white and I go unconscious is definitely one of those fantasies that should never come true.  When I've tried it consensually, it doesn't match the fantasy at all.  (Getting a bunch of guys to consensually pee on you and **** you unconcious is harder to achieve than you would think)

I really think that most people with this fantasy have no idea what rape really is, and you should be careful what you ask for.  It is not hard for a woman in America to get raped.  If rape is really what you want, then throw on a mini skirt, take a walk on about any college campus after dark and roll the dice.

But maybe before you do you should consider that rape is not a sexual act but a powerplay. A rapist doesn't care about your feelings- emotional or physical and you are there only to be broken, not pleasured.  The rapist gets their pleasure knowing he broke you.

As many bonafide rape victims as there are whose lives are ruined every day I am just appalled.  I think it is like saying "I have a starvation fantasy"  or "I want to have screws put under my fingernails." 

When it comes to dominating in a relationship you have to decide between the two of you what is going to take place. In my relationship, I have a right, anytime I want to “rape” my submissive slave. In the past seven years I have done this many times when she got nothing out of it but knowing that she pleased her Master. This is done with more verbal communication then physical action.

MadRavrrrr you are in the wrong group.  There is a group for "I have been raped."  Pay attention to the titles.  You really shouldn't be so rude as to go into a group of people you know nothing about and run your mouth on an issue you obviously have no clue about.

see the difference for me between a rape fantasy and a Dominated fantasy is the helplessness towards arousal rather than pleasurable resistance of the actions.

I have both and

my being dominated fantasy is me wanting him and him arousing me by forcing me to his will.

my being raped fantasy is out of the blue, me being forced upon and being helpless to stop him from arousing me.

It's the helplessness you feel fighting against it and the unwarented arousal comming from the actions, rather than enjoyment and arousal from succuming to their will.

This may seem vulgar but that is how I have seperated the two.

vrrrr,

I know that rape is not something to like or to desire, but there are many fetishes that are just that. Often fetishes are unexplainable desires that are unwarented and sometimes they are of things that are improper, unhealthy, or even hurtfull, such as vampiric, dirtplay, or knifing. I actually hated myself for a long while for liking these fantasies, but now I am slowly comming to acceptance that it is just part of what is me.

I try to not judge anyone for anything, sometimes comming off overly supportive. I completely understand where you ar comming from, it does not however change the fact that I do have this and it does arouse me.

Please try to not be rude by passing judgement when you don't know anything about the situation.

The power play is part of the fantasy.

I've read through a bunch of comments in this group about how the people who are part of it are mistaken and they really are interested in BDSM experiences.  I don't think that's true for everyone, including me.

I don't want to be submissive.  I will not call someone 'master' or 'sir'.  I will not willingly put on clothing I am told to put on.  For me, it is about being taken, and by a stranger (because I don't expect him/them to care about my feelings).

And, what others have said is true.  There is a difference between real rape and a rape fantasy. 

I want both. I agree that wanting to be really raped and having a rape fantasy are different.  In my elaborate and numerous rape daydream scenarios, I'm always getting physical pleasure even though the rapist doesn't necessarily know or care. Sometimes it's because in the scenario I secretly wanted the guy and sometimes my fantasy script calls for me to really not want it, but not be able to stop my body from responding.  I know that in a real rape, it might actually just hurt, but I still want to experience it, because I don't just want a game.  I really want some total stranger to lust for me so badly they have to take me.  I want to feel like a dirty ****.  I want to be overpowered by someone who isn't interested in knowing me or loving me, but just wants me for animal sex.  And I want to see him satisfy his primal urges completely.

I couldnt agree more.  I always have rape fantasises.  I too am a submissive, and my partner is Dominant.  We act out rape fantasies often.  For me its the helplessness, the loss of control, my fate in anothers hands.  I get these urges. It is a psychological need.  Not the rape but the losing control.

Interesting topic, I have always been submissive with my husband, it's a role I do well, but my rape fantasies are different. It's not about my husband controlling me or taking me when he chooses, (which don't get me wrong I enjoy) but it's more about the stranger that comes up behind me..I can almost feel his hand on my mouth, the strength as he holds me down, the race of my heart beat as the fear and adrenalin kick in. The raw uninhibited forcefulness of the sex....Yeah it's definitely different to me.