I Have a Sarcastic and Filthy Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,546 People

    awhile ago we upgraded our phones

    and the rep was going to move all our pictures and videos to the new phones, he asked if there were anything in there he didn't want us for him to see .. most of my album is filled with cat photos and I really really wanted to say in a joking manner "pics of my hairy p*ssy...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 15, 2015

    Penis?WTFE

    i lost a managment position for saying penis twice in front of the boss lady.we just started saying (elbow) instead.lol.no one ever knew what we were talking about after that.
    americanbadass americanbadass
    31-35, F
    Aug 15, 2008

    Neener-Neener

     A bit of backstory: Goldie, Jay and I are really, really good friends. Jay obviously has a thing for Goldie, but her perpetual "taken" status apparently gets in the way. Her current "boyfriend" is not just an incorrigible idiot and tool-facterous...
    zeligocity zeligocity
    22-25, M
    4 Responses Jan 18, 2009

    Do These Pants...

    Friend: "Do these pants make my legs look fat?" Me: "Trust me, with a top cut that low, no one is going to be looking at your legs." Friend: *SLAP!* Me: "Worth it." XD
    Swordsman101 Swordsman101
    18-21, M
    1 Response Nov 8, 2012

    Some Of It

    I have a huge spectrum of humor that definitely includes these traits.When I'm around certain people the sarcastic and off -color humor come out a lot more. My close friends don't mind, in fact they find it hilarious so I have no apologies.
    bvb1123 bvb1123
    41-45, M
    Dec 30, 2010

    It is fun to see their reactions

    and I'm loveing the laughs that follow
    Unsettledteen Unsettledteen
    18-21, F
    Jul 7, 2014

    I Find Ignorance Funny.

    I find people who have no ideas of their own and try to pass off something that they have heard or read Hilarious !!!
    mrkay27 mrkay27
    46-50, M
    1 Response Jun 11, 2013

    And It's Out of Control....

    Sometimes I don't know when to stop.  And it's usually at work.  I have no idea what others think, but I don't care.  I think I'm funny, my friends think I'm funny.  And it helps all of us get through the day.
    CuriosityKitten CuriosityKitten
    31-35, F
    6 Responses Aug 14, 2008

    Nice A**

    Friend(female): "blah blah blah boys blah blah drama drama gossip drama" Me: *Stares at hot chick* Friend: "What are you staring at now!" Me: "You're hot cousin's a**." Friend: "What?! Why?!" Me: "Because she's turned around so I can't see her boobs." Friend: *Slaps* Me...
    Swordsman101 Swordsman101
    18-21, M
    1 Response Mar 25, 2013
    TheDemonsWithin TheDemonsWithin
    16-17, M
    2 Responses May 7, 2015

    More Dead Baby Jokes And Others.....

    What do babies and peanut butter have in common? They both stick to the roof of your mouth. What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? You take your boots off for the trampoline. How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Nail the other hand into...
    Tippmann07 Tippmann07
    22-25, M
    Feb 24, 2012

    Finally! Welcome Perverts and ********!

    So I'm the one that first added this experience about three months ago and finally someone has posted(thanks naughtygal), and within the last day many more have joined,  I believe that its high time that those of us with senses of humor that can't readily be aired in public...
    themcqueenescape themcqueenescape
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Apr 23, 2008

    When Did This Happen to Me

    Before I met and married my husband I was what could be said a pretty sheltered southern girl.  After being married to my husband who is now out of the Marines for 14 years; I have developed these traits. It isn't always there but I find it can appear at some of the most...
    Grits4life Grits4life
    46-50, F
    1 Response Aug 15, 2008

    because I am sarcastic

    and filthy and combined they are even more awsum. Although I am.carefully not to make too many filthy comments here, people are fragile and don't embrace the filth lol
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response May 7, 2015

    People Say That My Humour Comes From The Gutter

    when i joking around with my friends or at work or whatever, i notice i am the one who tends to take the conversation to a dirtier level. i dont know, i guess it starts in highschool. the school i went to was an all boys school where there was no women and this caused the...
    jonnyronny jonnyronny
    18-21, M
    Apr 12, 2010

    I Have a Warped Sense of Hu...

    I have a warped sense of humour. Stupid things make me laugh.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Aug 14, 2008

    Moneymaker

    Include sick as well? I have such a strange mind.
    Keelie Keelie
    66-70, F
    Aug 17, 2009

    I love being sarcastic cause it cracks people up

    and I have a tendency of being one helluva perv lmao but I love Making people laugh
    AGreenDayToRemember AGreenDayToRemember
    18-21, F
    Apr 13, 2014

    Penis?WTFE

    i lost a managment position for saying penis twice in front of the boss lady.we just started saying (elbow) instead.lol.no one ever knew what we were talking about after that.
    americanbadass americanbadass
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Aug 15, 2008

    Everytime someone on Food Network says,

    "the taste just exploded in my mouth" I almost pee my pants laughing.
    andie2007 andie2007
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Apr 18, 2015

    I can be sarcastic, but in a fun way.

    I don't use my humor to insult people. I just like to make people laugh and have a good time.
    ErraticSarcastic ErraticSarcastic
    31-35, F
    1 Response Dec 21, 2015

    Because if someone asks

    for a pianist what am I suppose today? Not laugh?
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 1, 2015

    I always say sarcastic things

    that crack people up but way way way waaaay too often do I make Dirty jokes aha xD It's probably not a good thing though.
    Tabithaaa Tabithaaa
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Feb 4, 2014

    Sometimes I Should Be Quiet

    My sense of humor can be pretty nasty at times. My daughter has called me on it a few times. She has said she couldn't believe I was her mother. The nerve of that chick!! I laugh at her and tell that I am, so suck it up. I told her it was okay because one day she would...
    grnwd82 grnwd82
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Aug 17, 2008

    ... But I Choose My Audience.

    Yes, I can be just a teeny-tiny bit sarcastic *rolls eyes*, and I can tell filthy jokes with the best of them.... but I am always careful to choose my audience.  Part of that is for rather obvious reasons-- for instance I am not going to tell an X-rated joke to my...
    Geode Geode
    31-35, F
    6 Responses Aug 16, 2009

    Dead Baby Joke

    How do you fit 50 babies into a bathtub? (blender) How do you get them out? (tostito chips)
    Tippmann07 Tippmann07
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Feb 10, 2012

    I Really Do..

    I'm so unlady like..I find racist..sexist..really..any dark humor..just to be hilarious. I always find the dirty pun in things..and..well i'm a pervert..lol
    morbidkittie13 morbidkittie13
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Sep 26, 2011

    GSOH

    I have a very good sense of humor and enjoy all sorts of humor, yes i can be very sarcastic and enjoy filthy humor to. Why just enjoy part of it enjoy it all and you will smile alot every day
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Aug 16, 2009

    Really Awful....

    So I had this co-worker who was constantly bemoaning her circumstances. At first, I was very sympathetic...then I realized most of her problem she creates herself. For example, she went out partying more that 2 days a week; called in 'sick' the day after because she was hungover...
    vinividivici21 vinividivici21
    22-25, F
    9 Responses Aug 17, 2008

    Sarcasim & That Oh So Naughty Side

    I'm told that Sarcasim is my middle name and my husband does not approve. Funny i haven't changed though, im still the same person - he probably just can't take the heat because he is just not as quick on the draw. as for the filthy sense of humour - well finally it has found a...
    rmac rmac
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Jun 12, 2008

    Related Experiences

    At school people tell a joke and everyone laughs but I don't. Then they say something no one laughs at but me. Awkward! But it's me and I'm fine with that.
    SmartyGenius SmartyGenius
    13-15, F
    Apr 21
    Okay, so my sister just texted me a pic of this really old photo. It's so old she had to take a picture of the picture. Because it was one of those things that had to be developed...
    2byoung 2byoung
    22-25, M
    Apr 21
    Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Now if you teach him to catch fish, he will spend the whole damn day at the lake drinking beer.
    CurvyGirley CurvyGirley
    46-50, F
    4 Responses Apr 21
    I keep telling myself that life always offers me a second chance. It's called tomorrow.....
    CurvyGirley CurvyGirley
    46-50, F
    1 Response Apr 21
    I know that the voices in my head are just not real. But to tell you the truth, sometimes their ideas are just totally awesome!!
    CurvyGirley CurvyGirley
    46-50, F
    1 Response Apr 21
    Is it Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples... FREEZER BAGS They are male...
    Lee124 Lee124
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Apr 21
    We are urgently in need of kidney donors for the sum of $220,000.00 USD, contact us now on (+917411369891) or luwiss.morris@gmail.com
    kidney4 kidney4
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Apr 20
    I love my family no matter how mean and unusual they are, they're pretty nice and caring when they choose to be... though they are probably the reason why I am also a dysfunctional...
    SweetDreamsRubi SweetDreamsRubi
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 20
    I do keep it hidden, because not everyone gets my sense of humor, or how I entertain dark thoughts towards others almost unconciously.
    moondiva moondiva
    36-40, F
    Apr 20
    Okay, I'm going to start like everyone else did; because I don't know how else I should. I know, for a fact, that some people will just see me as attention seeking and a liar, but...
    Rhino109 Rhino109
    13-15, M
    Apr 19
    Winnie the Pooh and his friends when they're going through the desert: Tigger: "water! Water!" Pooh: "Honey! Honey!"
    Funkystronglover Funkystronglover
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 19
    What are you wearing, Jake from state farm? Uh, khakis. :p Yes I bought khakis just to make this joke! I have to entertain myself somehow!
    2byoung 2byoung
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Apr 19
    To those who have my email address I promise I will get back to you. My inbox is just a bit on the full side but I am in the process of clearing it out. If I take a bit longer than...
    Lee124 Lee124
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Apr 19
    My best scammer was the Christian scammer. Woweee. He started out so real until I quoted the bible to him. So much for needing donations. Like I told him. There comes a point...
    Lee124 Lee124
    41-45, F
    5 Responses Apr 19
    In the past 5 months I have received the same declaration of love posted in my inbox by the same person. Now I only responded the very first time this scammer posted it and my...
    Lee124 Lee124
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Apr 19
    ....I laugh when people get hurt. Like, saw a kid fall off a bike recently and I couldn't help it...
    BadMomKira BadMomKira
    22-25, F
    8 Responses Apr 18
    when someone breaks a promise and u wanna punch them in the face
    yanisucks yanisucks
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Apr 18
    I had three visions one night while I was still a student. The Holy Spirit woke me up that night and I felt a sense of peace and a strong sense of His presence. If I remember...
    delivered777 delivered777
    36-40, M
    Apr 18
    Well I can defo think of one good sense of humour for a psychiatrist. If two people report phobias, one fear of long words and the other fear of 666 he/ she should bring them...
    Sazzio Sazzio
    26-30, M
    Apr 17
    Yes! This is very true. I'd talk to lots of people already and it's the worst ever when they are like the stuck up strict soldier guard whatever. (I don't have anything against...
    soyyoprincesa soyyoprincesa
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Apr 17
    I recently started rewatching Hey arnold on the splat and arnold has a pretty hot voice. His hotness melted my TV.
    DayDreamer246 DayDreamer246
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 15
    I fell down the stairs at school and this guy tried to help me up but I got akward and just started laughing as I crawled away. He was too hot, he couldnt see me in bad lighting.
    DayDreamer246 DayDreamer246
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 15
    I think laughing is one of the great joys of my life. It has helped me through many a rough situation . If u had been unable to find some humor in the situation I might have...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 15
    Something that has been weighing heavy on my heart in this age old fight for equality. I am curious as to how you guys feel about my feels. If you disagree, do so objectively, and...
    Dreambrother Dreambrother
    18-21, F
    Apr 15
    First rule of Toddler Fight Club: Never talk about Toddler Fight Club!
    NawImG00d NawImG00d
    26-30, M
    1 Response Apr 15
    With only 7 days to go, I see and have been seeing a lot of sentimental thank-yous and professing of EP love. I'm not looking for an online love connection myself, but I've...
    haniazed haniazed
    46-50, M
    6 Responses Apr 14
    So, a lot of you are wondering what really happened with me and Bon...my maths teacher. Its simple. Nothing. Its been months since I started to have feelings for him, and to say it...
    Cizzy Cizzy
    16-17, F
    Apr 14
    With only 7 days for EP, there is this sudden influx of 'new' members who are horny! I mean come on! If you think it through, guys with fake profile are doing this to get photos...
    akoostik akoostik
    26-30, M
    4 Responses Apr 14
    Me Krabs: Patrick, which way is East?" Patrick : (looks at the compass.) "That way captain." Mr. Krabs: (counts 10,000 steps) "where's the X? It's supposed to be right here. 10,0...
    Funkystronglover Funkystronglover
    18-21, M
    6 Responses Apr 13
    I was just thinking about the time I went to Japan, and I had to speak Japanese to communicate. I would laugh a lot, and someone asked me why. I told him that "kuchi" means...
    2byoung 2byoung
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Apr 13
More Stories