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I Have a Secret Eating Me Alive

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 25 People

    I Am So Ashame

    I have this secret that I want to dress like punky brester and have my man *** me is that sick or what...LMAO 
    MiseducatedChik MiseducatedChik 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2008

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    A Few Actually..

    Probably silly to most, but they get to me.   Ive been eating recently. Not much of a secret but I havent told anyone, does that make sense? Im the girl who doesnt eat, or who purges. Not lately. And Im not proud of my weakness. I slept with Dan. Many times. And I will do...
    Tesse Tesse 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 8, 2008

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    I Can't Believe I'm Saying This

    I haven't told my therapist, my boyfriend or anyone else for 14 years...   I lost my virginity when I was 13 on a sorta/kinda dare. I am so ashamed of it. I hate myself for it. It has the ability to make me feel dirty still. I don't know when or how I'm going to tell my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Mar 8, 2008

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    Cementerygates' Secret

    To tell you the truth... I havent told this to anyone, but... this may have been said before... Butthe truth is that the person from my past, hates who I am now. And she will never like me now. She hates the changes that have so unwelcomely controled my every word and action...
    cementerygates cementerygates 16-18, F 1 Response Mar 8, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    So basically i have an eating disorder and i think my teacher was figuring out that i had one and i need to know if you guys think that he started to figure it out or not. At lunch...
    flowerqueenx flowerqueenx 13-15, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I get so scared of gaining weight. And I've been told many times by my step mom that I am fat. I used to think I was so pretty. I didn't think I was fat. I actually looked very...
    AshLovesLink AshLovesLink 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    When and why did eating become so hard? :/
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 27

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    Does anyone else always feel guilty every night at this time after eating and worry about how many calories and weight gain! Just wanna be skinny
    redheadxx redheadxx 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 29

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    I think some just hide it better. We all have skeletons--some more than others. Things we want to lock away in that dark abandoned part of our psych that we have bolted with lock...
    Mirandaluvslife Mirandaluvslife 36-40, F Aug 6

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    I feel so fcken fat like no joke i seriously need to stop eating fml
    desitor desitor 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 10

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    Each day more n more i think about it i think im starting to get my eating disorder again i feel so worthless and disgusting,self hate i feel like i don't want to be strong i don't...
    desitor desitor 16-17, F Aug 11

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    exercising because I want to. Not because I want to lose weight. I will not let my eating disorder control me
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    Message me if you want to chat, if anyone's going through/been through an eating disorder I'd appreciate talking to someone who understands
    justsmile1990 justsmile1990 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 13

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    I'm freaked out that I'm eating too much sugar.
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 17

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    Everyone have a secret. No madder who Even if ur perfect Ur truly not We all have a secret
    RainbowWolf13 RainbowWolf13 13-15, F 3 days ago

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    .. I'm so used to saying that "something is wrong with my stomach, I just can't hold food down".. For years that I think I actually believed it. Realizing recently that I don't...
    YupThatsMee YupThatsMee 22-25, F Jul 31

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    I recovered for a while, but emotionally and mentally I felt much more out of control and it wasn't really worth it, I've stopped eating again, and things seem to be much better...
    reachingforthesun reachingforthesun 16-17, F Aug 6

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    My mom asked why I looked so pale I'm like ummmm not staying in the sun then she's like no have u been eating I'm like uhhhh ya duh she looked at me and said what u want for dinner...
    Sprinklesnstuff Sprinklesnstuff 13-15, M 5 Responses Aug 6

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    I'm a very level headed teenager. And then I got told I had an eating disorder and now it controls my life... Every day I think about food constantly, I don't eat it but I...
    justsmile1990 justsmile1990 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 13

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    Alright, I don't starve myself or make myself throw up or anything. But I binge. I haven't been eating as much in the past week or so (Not starving, I've just cut down and started...
    raehmm raehmm 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I'm really not sure what experience this would fit into, so I'll post it to a few because I need help. The past few days I haven't spoke a lot or eaten a lot. I've just been in my...
    raehmm raehmm 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    My secrets are hidden so well I often have a hard time finding them myself...
    InLoveWith32 InLoveWith32 13-15, F Aug 6

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    So i am a closeted lesbian and have feelings for my boss. I have had them for close to 2 years maybe longer. We are friends and hang out with each other after work sometimes. She...
    Brok3nSoul Brok3nSoul 22-25, F Aug 19

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    I haven't had a panic attack over food in a while. I maintained the weight of 92 for two weeks and now I don't have to see my doctor for month......well I started math camp at my...
    broadwaybabe99 broadwaybabe99 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 28

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    Okay , it's been so long I didn't write anything , so I thought I would just update it up a little bit with what's happening with me nowadays. It's been like five months now I...
    CrushednBroken CrushednBroken 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 29

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    I'm still in recovery and I relapsed a few times already about a week ago I think. Sometimes I want to be fully recovered and other times I never want to end my ednos. School is...
    XSimplyXSuicideX XSimplyXSuicideX 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 30

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    I know I have a problem, but how do I get over it? Advice would be appreciated. I am morbidly obese. I weigh 340 pounds and I am 5'10. I am not your typical fat girl though. I...
    BlueHeartSong BlueHeartSong 22-25, F 4 Responses Aug 4

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    I used to have Ana and Mia and I was 100lbs but now I'm 132lbs and back with Ana. I'm scared about purging cos it ruins it teeth and also I love food. If my mom asks me to eat what...
    julescraycray julescraycray 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 9

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    Those times where the weigh ins are telling you you are gaining weight again but you have done everything to lose it.
    ivorianangel ivorianangel 18-21, F Aug 14

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    I hate my body. Does anyone have any ANA tips or when I'm forced to eat any foods to really avoid?
    kayleejames kayleejames 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 18

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    Some I don't even admit fully to myself because I'm afraid I won't be able to get there, and admitting them would mean I'd have to try. Yet perhaps it's better to admit and...
    Nyxii Nyxii 22-25, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Yes, I admit that I do. Anyone who claims that they don't is lying. I'm not proud of my desires, I'm actually quite ashamed by the majority of them, but I must learn how to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Ive been a member of EP for sometime now and can say I've grown in the time I've been on. When I 1st found EP, like most, I found this site by complete accident and like most, I...
    69Sam 69Sam 26-30, F 11 hrs ago

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    I just stopped feeding myself. It was a train without breaks. A train that can only go faster until it runs out of tracks or it hits a wall.
    Xingouttheos Xingouttheos 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 27

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    Ya know. I'm sick of people judging anorexics and bulimics. Plus all the others. Those are just the most common. They tell you you're not fat. And grow meat on them bones. But you...
    Kailenalovesyou Kailenalovesyou 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 29

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    I am struggling....I don't know how to get better but I want to. I'm embarrassed...ashamed...I feel stuck. Is there anyone out there who has been where I am that can give me some...
    positivefemale positivefemale 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 30

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    Starting to feel and see my ribs again! :) So proud, yet feel like a disappointment :S
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F Jul 31

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    The only thing that will make me happy is meeting my goal weight.
    redheadxx redheadxx 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 31

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    Why eat when you can be beautiful
    lockedsweetheart lockedsweetheart 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 4

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    Its been five years and im still stuck in this dark hole
    Sazfantaz Sazfantaz 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 4

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    Which one would you prefer 1: me healthy weight 8 months ago (110 pounds) Or.... 2: me now underweight (90 pounds)
    broadwaybabe99 broadwaybabe99 13-15, F 12 Responses Aug 4

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    5 pounds in 5 days, almost 6 It's ok if I'm hungry, at least I'll be beautiful
    lockedsweetheart lockedsweetheart 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 5

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    I forgot about the chest pains I get when I don't eat. It hurts a lot but is totally worth the pain. I like the feeling of my stomach begging for food for some reason. It's hard to...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 6

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    Been to my clinic appointment today, seriously doubting seeking help. Still got some point to loose and getting told I need to bloody gain weight!!
    redheadxx redheadxx 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 7

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    Still feel so angry yet got work all day :( ahhhhh
    redheadxx redheadxx 18-21, F Aug 8

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    Ugh......I binged and purged last night......and I didn't even eat "that much" I just felt bad I ate something.....I hate when I do that, but it only happens when my laxatives stop...
    lockedsweetheart lockedsweetheart 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 8

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    it hurt so much whenever i see myself in the mirror and compare myself before recovery :( I still can't free myself from having negative thoughts.
    MCHIYO MCHIYO 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 9

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