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I Have a Secret Eating Me Alive

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 25 People

    I Can't Believe I'm Saying This

    I haven't told my therapist, my boyfriend or anyone else for 14 years...   I lost my virginity when I was 13 on a sorta/kinda dare. I am so ashamed of it. I hate myself for it. It has the ability to make me feel dirty still. I don't know when or how I'm going to tell my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Mar 8, 2008

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    I Am So Ashame

    I have this secret that I want to dress like punky brester and have my man *** me is that sick or what...LMAO 
    MiseducatedChik MiseducatedChik 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2008

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    A Few Actually..

    Probably silly to most, but they get to me.   Ive been eating recently. Not much of a secret but I havent told anyone, does that make sense? Im the girl who doesnt eat, or who purges. Not lately. And Im not proud of my weakness. I slept with Dan. Many times. And I will do...
    Tesse Tesse 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 8, 2008

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    Cementerygates' Secret

    To tell you the truth... I havent told this to anyone, but... this may have been said before... Butthe truth is that the person from my past, hates who I am now. And she will never like me now. She hates the changes that have so unwelcomely controled my every word and action...
    cementerygates cementerygates 16-18, F 1 Response Mar 8, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I think i might have an eating disorder. I puke up my food. I cry after I eat. And I starve myself. I'm too afraid to admit the truth to myself.
    sydthekid15 sydthekid15 13-15, F Sep 11

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    Ugh I don't know. Before you read this I'm just letting you know that I really hate the word "trigger" it's very misused and it makes me angry. So when I use this word, I am being...
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 5 Responses Sep 5

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    It's the sixth month of my ED now. I've lost five kilograms , don't feel weak at all tho. The same routine continues everyday college, studies, work , home, the tiring cycle...
    CrushednBroken CrushednBroken 26-30, F Aug 28

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    So for the past couple of years, (2011-now) i would go to school and just push through without eating, and by my last year in school I wasn't eating everyday, I could go the day...
    TaylaT21 TaylaT21 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 2

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    The urges are coming back stronger than ever and I'm going back to what I was doing before. I have 3 types of eating disorders, B.E.D (binge eating disorder) Anorexia, and bulimia...
    XxBadXVibesxX XxBadXVibesxX 13-15, F a week ago

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    Everyone have a secret. No madder who Even if ur perfect Ur truly not We all have a secret
    RainbowWolf13 RainbowWolf13 13-15, F Aug 23

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    I'm not very good at lying or hiding things. But recently I've been doing reckless (and exciting!) things to give myself some thrill. It feels so badass not letting people know...
    demonicgoldfish demonicgoldfish 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 28

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    Its good to share your secrets and fantasies if possible on EP without offending others. And keeping it to the legal age secret or fantasy. So come share them.
    maleuk52 maleuk52 61-65, M 1 Response a week ago

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    I'm really not sure what experience this would fit into, so I'll post it to a few because I need help. The past few days I haven't spoke a lot or eaten a lot. I've just been in my...
    raehmm raehmm 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 25

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    Can you ask me stuff on ask.fm my username is skinnydream_123. The link is http://ask.fm/skinnydream_123 thankyou. Preferably eating disorder related questions
    oliviiaxo oliviiaxo 16-17, F Sep 7

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    Alright, I don't starve myself or make myself throw up or anything. But I binge. I haven't been eating as much in the past week or so (Not starving, I've just cut down and started...
    raehmm raehmm 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 24

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    I have so many secret desires, but I hardly tell any of them. Sometimes I fear I will be judged so I just keep quiet. I wish I could find a listening ear that wouldn't criticize me...
    catiemae87 catiemae87 26-30, F 11 Responses Aug 29

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    I have relapsed greatly into bingeing and purging, my weight is now about 120lbs at 5'5-5'6.. I hate being a "healthy" weight. I need my bones back, everything was so much safer...
    discoveringisabel discoveringisabel 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 28

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    I have struggled with EDNOS for a very long time. I believe that I'm doing much better but I know it will never go away.
    Soozkat Soozkat 22-25, F Aug 30

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    I have decided to choose the Pro Ana lifestyle. I will finally be happy.
    Kelnea Kelnea 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 7

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    Hey x just kinda felt that i needed to post this too kinda get it of my head ! i'm going to see my therapist tomorrow and kinda need advise !! Basically i see her as i have been...
    ZannaHuth98 ZannaHuth98 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 9

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    i ******* hate how i cant eat whatever i want cause ana controls me every damn time and sometimes im sick of it. but i still have lose a **** ton of weight. fml.
    skeletora skeletora 13-15, F Sep 12

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    I have to starve myself. But everytime I try to at school my friends force me to eat. And I cat throw up at school without someone finding out. What do I do I need to starve. I...
    Kelnea Kelnea 13-15, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I hate everything about me and when i eat crap i feel disgusting i feel and think that i have to be a certain way for people i gotta look a way and i wont be good enough till i get...
    desitor desitor 16-17, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Cuz just put some cereal to bed
    rabbertcline rabbertcline 22-25, M Aug 21

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    It's 7:27 p.m. And I've having my first meal of the day. If you can call it a meal. Ugh I'm letting this control me to much
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F Aug 25

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    I had a short period of binge and purge history while I was in high school ( that was like 15yrs ago) and recently last year when I got promoted to a new position I started...
    romi777 romi777 31-35, F Aug 25

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    I used to be 130, now I maintain 110, but it's nothing compared to the winter I was 79... I can't help but want it; the strength and hunger. I'm falling hard back into it and I don...
    RexxTheDinosawr RexxTheDinosawr 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 26

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    i gained twenty ******* pounds over the summer and i want to kill myself. It feels like the end of the world. How shallow and vain and stupid am I, that I care this much?
    Skirefly Skirefly 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 26

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    Hi Hello My name is Yasser celibate possible not know the girl be friendly
    ydawood ydawood 31-35, M Aug 30

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    I need to be in control of at least one thing. I don't want to eat, so I don't. It is horrible to feel fat on my stomach, hips, I want to see my bones. Punish myself. Help myself...
    pianobookme pianobookme 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 31

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    Am I too skinny I need to know if I should start wearing baggy clothing to hide my weight loss.
    Kelnea Kelnea 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 1

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    Yea... I eat too damn much! Lol.
    Teeze22 Teeze22 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 5

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    **** my life seriously fat Kerrie
    redheadxx redheadxx 18-21, F Sep 5

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    If you are currently recovering, I just want to let you know that you are so brave and so strong for concurring this, it might take time but you are doing so so well right now, don...
    AIiviah AIiviah 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 6

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    Just looking for others who understand how consuming this can be and are looking for someone who would like to be one another's support system along this road of recovery.
    LenaMarie13 LenaMarie13 22-25, F Sep 7

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    I'm 5/10 and I'm 148 pounds, I know that is a bad thing but I just don't get hungry, what should i do
    dominick6 dominick6 13-15, M 3 Responses Sep 7

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    I want a friend that understands what I'm going through. Someone that shares the same experience as me as sad as it sounds.
    KyleeNichole94 KyleeNichole94 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 7

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    I had anorexia for two years. I'm afraid I might be slowly slipping back into it.
    Madis9957 Madis9957 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 9

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    Any pro ana tips. Could really help.
    Kelnea Kelnea 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 9

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    I'm trying so hard to get better...not jut for me, but those around me as well. The only problem is that every time I eat an actual meal...I feel like I'm going to be sick. I just...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F Sep 12

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    My problem is I just love food too much..but I also want to lose weight, I just don't know how to do it properly and I keep coming back to this.
    GreenLeaf1025 GreenLeaf1025 13-15, F a week ago

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    I feel so gross I just had dinner and I'm really ******* mad at myself
    emgg emgg 13-15, F a week ago

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    Anyone want to do the abc diet with me?I'm starting tomorrow
    Maria134747 Maria134747 13-15, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I don't want to starve, purge, eat compulsively, or to make things easier, I don't want to eat anymore! I don't want to do anything anymore! I just want to sit in my room, lights...
    XxBadXVibesxX XxBadXVibesxX 13-15, F a week ago

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    I either don't eat for weeks or I eat so much and throw it up. I've tried to break the habit dozens if times and I give up. I don't know what to do anymore. And honestly I don't...
    Justanothergirl2000 Justanothergirl2000 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    You're beautiful regardless of what you think of yourself. I, myself don't think you are beautiful because I know you are... From the inside and out.
    Angelanorexic Angelanorexic 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I lost 20 pounds doing the abc diet but now I want to do the skinny girl diet so I won't gain all my weight back anyone want to be buddies?
    Maria134747 Maria134747 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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