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I Have a Secret Eating Me Alive

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 39 People

    Cementerygates' Secret

    To tell you the truth... I havent told this to anyone, but... this may have been said before... Butthe truth is that the person from my past, hates who I am now. And she will never like me now. She hates the changes that have so unwelcomely controled my every word and action...
    cementerygates cementerygates 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 8, 2008

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    I Can't Believe I'm Saying This

    I haven't told my therapist, my boyfriend or anyone else for 14 years...   I lost my virginity when I was 13 on a sorta/kinda dare. I am so ashamed of it. I hate myself for it. It has the ability to make me feel dirty still. I don't know when or how I'm going to tell my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Mar 8, 2008

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    A Few Actually..

    Probably silly to most, but they get to me.   Ive been eating recently. Not much of a secret but I havent told anyone, does that make sense? Im the girl who doesnt eat, or who purges. Not lately. And Im not proud of my weakness. I slept with Dan. Many times. And I will do...
    Tesse Tesse 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 8, 2008

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    I Am So Ashame

    I have this secret that I want to dress like punky brester and have my man *** me is that sick or what...LMAO 
    MiseducatedChik MiseducatedChik 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    It has taken me years to admit that I, in fact, do have an eating disorder. Ever since I was young, I've been obsessed with my weight. I was always heavier than other girls, even...
    angelique422 angelique422 22-25, F Mar 26

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    I have to go to my grandmas for dinner tomorrow and I haven't seen this grandma since thanksgiving I haven't ate in a long time and I've been really dizzy and haven't felt well I...
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123 13-15 5 hrs ago

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    I have no appetite and I'm being force fed... All I seem to be doing is sleep and no one seems to care about me... At least one good thing has happened today, I managed to get rid...
    philex2014 philex2014 13-15, F 11 hrs ago

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    Idk what to do. I've put on about 40 pounds from binge eating. My mind goes so fast when it comes to food so some times I eat before I realize I even ate anything. I'm not as...
    pawsandclaws pawsandclaws 22-25 Apr 14

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    I, Caylee, had delayed 2 weeks of my life stuck in that hellish hospital, but today is my release date. So I guess I’m sort of happy. Either way I actually missed Anna and Miah...
    WhiteRice14 WhiteRice14 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I go on periods of starving myself and working out secretly(and hating my body,negative thoughts,anxiety around food etc) and periods of somewhat normality(able to eat SOME junk...
    khloesaffron khloesaffron 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 10

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    i hide food. lots of junk. i binge. i purge. i lie. i cover. i push away. and now? im tired. im sick. and im so lonely. even with Ana constantly by my side. I know I've said this...
    LostGirl1029 LostGirl1029 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    Im writing in to about the fear of eating at someone's house or eating out. I don't know when it started actually I use to be able to do these things often but not anymore. I also...
    cherylm61 cherylm61 51-55, F Mar 29

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    I used to be bulimic in high school and a while after hs too but I stopped because im just so sick of doing that. I hated it. Id cry and get mad everytime in was in the bathroom...
    DeeDoubleYoux DeeDoubleYoux 22-25, F Apr 3

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    This nonesense of not wanting to eat and starve myself is getting old. The lost of complete appetite is ridiculous. I'm hiplogucemic I NEED to have my meals and my snacks and yet I...
    AndreaCulea AndreaCulea 22-25, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I'm really scared. I tried to eat a few hours ago and bite after bite I just felt so disgusted big time (but I kept forcing me to eat. I couldn't manage to eat the whole plate...
    AndreaCulea AndreaCulea 22-25, F 2 days ago

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    Growing up, weight was always an issue. Not my own weight but my mothers. She's struggled with an eating disorder since her late teens. She "has been in recovery for 20 years". I...
    DizzieDazie DizzieDazie 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    I have a freaking eating disorder since my depression got worse and start feeling lonely I started eating like a freak and I took 17 kg in 6 months I'm desperate
    emmadarko emmadarko 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    oh decreased appetite... i guess i can welcome you with open arms.. i lost like 1 kg over 24 hours from not eating.. im now at my lowest weight ive been. 60 kg, which is around...
    Catho Catho 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    I started eating a little again now Im not eating at all I don't deserve to I deserve to did from starvation
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123 13-15 1 Response Apr 11

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    IF YOUR NAME IS ALEXA OR MATTHEW DONT READ: YAY!!! I haven't ate today I hope my pro ana buddy is proud of me u know who u are lol I'm proud of myself for not eating at all now I...
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123 13-15 2 Responses Apr 12

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    My eating disorder was yesterday diagnosed as anorexia. I've fought against this horrible mental illness for half a year, which is way too long. I want to live a normal life again...
    ThatCrimson ThatCrimson 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I've been kinda depressed lately and just haven't been eating again.
    Mylo248 Mylo248 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 3

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    I just want to sit and cry. Every time I start to feel better about myself something triggers in my head and I feel ****. I feel disgusting. I feel like everyone's looking at me...
    Tilly95 Tilly95 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 4

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    my bulimia isnt what defines me. It took me awhile to recognize that "hey i have a problem" but i kept quite for a long time. Not just my eating disorder but other things as well...
    WhiteRice14 WhiteRice14 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 7

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    been having it for all my life really but it manifested itself truly little over a year ago and my weight has just been one big yoyo one minute im skin and bones and the next im...
    confusednormalness confusednormalness 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 8

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    Skip dinner? I think so. I'd rather feel hungry than feel sick after eating and angry with myself that I'm gaining weight.
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 15

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    I tend to eat very tiny portions and I always chew and spit without swallowing most of my food. Yesterday my parents and I were out and we picked up dinner on the go. They kept...
    imasweetheart imasweetheart 13-15, F a week ago

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    Eating nothing today... I want to be skinny. :'(
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Sometimes I eat a lot and still hungry...sometimes I don't want to eat at all...and sometimes I feel hungry but I also feel like if I eat something I'll throw up for sure...sigh...
    anderlr anderlr 13-15, M 4 days ago

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    I don't want to be skinny. I don't want to be called "skinny". I just want to be healthy. And I am healthy. I am recovered. 7 years without an eating disorder is wonderful. I look...
    CreoleItalianwoman CreoleItalianwoman 31-35, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Our secret desires are often betrayed by the practical decisions we make.
    PrincessKeeper PrincessKeeper 31-35, M 2 Responses Apr 15

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    Hi, so I guess everything has started again. It was really never over, I just found other says to deal with my anxiety. I've been battling anorexia since I was 13, so yeah 10 years...
    StEaMa StEaMa 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    So today at supper I had quite a heated discussion with my mom. She doesn't know how I feel about myself. She doesn't know I feel fat and ugly. At the dinner table she showed me...
    Lemons2000 Lemons2000 18-21, F Mar 25

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    So my friend asked me if he is ugly. My response was quite amazing to me. I must have been on something cause I've never heard myself talk like that. This is what I said: No...
    Lemons2000 Lemons2000 18-21, F Mar 26

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    I used to be able to eat a foot long sub, cookies and the drink...but now I'm lucky if I can finish the 6" sub :/ What have I done?!
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F Mar 30

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    Every time I think I'm over it, it comes back. It always comes back, in the back of my mind taunting me and letting me know everything that I can do to lose those few pounds. I...
    troubledbody troubledbody 16-17, F Apr 2

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    Now without meaning to show off (although some may see it that way), I'm a rather lucky soul who can eat virtually anything and not seem to gain weight. Some days I'll eat like I...
    gazzapocotron gazzapocotron 26-30, M Apr 2

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    Current Weight: 115 lbs Goal Weight: 95-100 lbs Biggest Weight I've ever been: 125 lbs Have to lose at least 15-20 pounds. :)
    MariahsLamb MariahsLamb 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    It's day 4 of the ABC diet and my collar bones are showing more. I can't wait for my huge *** stomach to go away :/ I just love the feeling of mastery over my body. It's soothing...
    punicorn1 punicorn1 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 5

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    I haven't eaten today and don't plan on it for two weeks. In a manic decision this morning, I took 4 times the normal dose of ADHD meds (which I had forgotten dull appetite). Idk I...
    punicorn1 punicorn1 13-15, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I can't stand to look at a mirror anymore. Went shopping with my younger sister and trying on clothes gave me anxiety I'm so fat...I need to lose weight I don't want to eat anymore...
    lovelybones14 lovelybones14 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 25

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