I Have a Verbally Abusive Father

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 577 People

    I'm 48 and thought he got calmer.

    My dad was abusive both mentally and physically to my mother growing up. My mom passed away in my early 20's and he remarried. I seeked out similar men who were abusive up until my late 40's. My 2nd husband was sexually abusive to my kids and verbally/physically to me. I got...
    sunshine1649 sunshine1649
    46-50, F
    Jan 18

    He Just Doesn't Understand How Much It Hurts Me

    I get called worthless and stupid on a daily bases. I get told I can't do anything right, and sometimes.. I believe it. He yelled at me for putting his computer away wrong. If I leave a light on he yells. He tells to fetch his fhucking beer and then he yells at me for not being...
    lonelyxsoul lonelyxsoul
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Jul 8, 2012

    A Lifetime Of Abuse

    Wow, where to start.....My parents (and I use the term loosely, it should be abusers) were unfit from day 1.  My mother hated us 3 children, and made sure we knew it, if she wasnt beating us, she was verbally beating us. My father was an alcoholic, the only time we saw him sober...
    lillyof64 lillyof64
    46-50
    2 Responses Oct 9, 2011

    Why Is My Father So Aggressive?

    Hi there, I just wanted to clarify whether or not I am in an environment with a Passive Aggressive Father. All my life, I have never been close to my father all because of his constant aggression and verbal abuse towards me and my family members. I am now 17 years old. But I have...
    carriethebjjaddict carriethebjjaddict
    70+, F
    8 Responses Sep 29, 2013

    I am usually a person

    who can smile through it all, I can even encourage other people out of gutters. You can bet half of the people that know me.. Will say oh yeah I know her that girl who's always smiling and laughing. That is what I am known for. What they don't know if the pain I go through on a...
    Safetysuit96 Safetysuit96
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 9, 2014

    I wrote this last night about how I truly feel

    about my father (pardon my language): i ******* hate my dad. within the first 5 min of seeing him I started crying with anger/frustration. HE THINKS HE CAN ******* DISRESPECT MOM IN FRONT OF ME BY IGNORING HER....HELL ******* NO. he is not honorable or a good man. he's selfish...
    volleyballobsessed volleyballobsessed
    13-15, F
    Apr 11

    I'm Confused.

    My dad is a very strict man. Ever since I was young, he'd hit me or my sister with a belt if we did wrong. Can't write the letter 'A' or 'S' well? He'll flip my study table over & throw my kindergarten homework away while shouting at me. After I turned 10, he stopped hitting me...
    30justforfun09 30justforfun09
    18-21
    3 Responses Aug 11, 2011

    I've known it all my life,

    but only now am I finally giving it a definition. My whole life, my father has made me feel guilty. For example, if we go a while without speaking, he'll lay on the guilt trip about how "it's fine [insert exasperated sigh]" or "nobody cares about me anyway. I guess I'll just...
    iSpyce iSpyce
    31-35
    Aug 31, 2015

    Today he said he doesn't want to see me

    and I'm dead to him bc I'm befriending my mothers bf after she divorced him two yrs ago and was putting up with his abuse for 15 yrs....
    XObabydollOX XObabydollOX
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Jun 15, 2014

    Emotional Abuse

    I am a 48-year old woman. I have had trouble in my life since the time I can remember.  I always knew something was wrong.  But I didn't know what was wrong until I read a blog on emotional abuse.  I guess I always knew my father was mean, hated people, hated...
    oceans4life oceans4life
    51-55, F
    3 Responses Apr 20, 2010

    A man is no man If He holds abuse in his hands

    Words full of hate Im sure most of you can relate Some call it discipline Some call him crazy But whatever you call him He calls me lazy As tears crawl down my face As thoughts run through mind Never will it ever be fine Yeah he says he cares Yeah he says he loves you...
    lifeinmyeyes13 lifeinmyeyes13
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 28, 2014

    Im still a teenager now,

    but I've recently figured out that my father emotionally neglected me as a child and has physically abused me as well. My dad has always been distant from me, I've never really felt close to him. When i was a kid my mom and my Grandma did everything for me while he sat on his...
    sarahflowers2008 sarahflowers2008
    22-25, F
    Feb 18

    you're the reason why I have anxiety

    and that I'm afraid of being myself in front of people..thanks for killing me with your words Padre
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Dec 15, 2014

    how can a father say your a peice of **** then

    hug your cousins like nothing happend how can a father say he loves you when he puts every one else above you how can a father threaten he's going to punch your teeth out if you dont do what he says then look at himself in the mirror how can a father live with himself when...
    fkfh fkfh
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 17, 2014

    Monster, How Should I Feel ?

    My father always have been like this. He always used to tell me how worthless, stupid, ugly,dumb I am. I feel like he never even loved me. I mean most of the people don't want my mother to give birth to me because times were hard but she borne me anyway. So my father is always...
    OlsN98 OlsN98
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jul 26, 2012

    Not Only Verbally But Phisically.

    he is extremely cruel wuth his verbal attacks.i guess thats why i have trouble with saying what i need to say.and he has a violent side.he has beaten me,my brother and my mother when i was younger.he is not so much violent now,but he can really get to you with what he says.
    ghostofmyself ghostofmyself
    36-40
    1 Response Mar 27, 2009

    Help

    I hate the man who made me he is not a father the only emotion he has truley ever felt is anger he is a pathetic man who will most likely burn in hell for all eternity i dislike this feeling of hate that he has made me feel i have never felt the emotion of HATE until he put it in...
    Heshowedmehate Heshowedmehate
    26-30, F
    1 Response Nov 30, 2013

    well that's one way of putting it.

    .. funny thing about emotional/verbal abuse... you don't really know if it's valid. well maybe you do but I don't I still think I'm j just an oversensitive high maintenance brat. who nothing will be good enough for... I dunno if it's really abuse but even if it was with all the...
    blackscribbles blackscribbles
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Dec 16, 2014

    He's Getting Worse

    My father was an ordained minister in his country of origin. He can quote scripture like none other, can give sermons on the spot, and teaches great lessons on Christianity. Overall, he's a pretty good father...when he's not angry. When I was younger, I could remember him being a...
    Justulord Justulord
    18-21
    1 Response May 27, 2011

    He's rarely, if ever,

    verbally abusive to me. To my mom, sometimes, my 9 yr old sister rarely, but my brother is 3 yrs younger than me at 14 and he gets the brunt of it. Granted he's stubborn and can be kind of a d***head at times, but in my dad's eyes, he can never do anything right. He's belittled...
    maddiemoonlight maddiemoonlight
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 30, 2014

    Today is Father's Day yea!

    !! ( I'm being sarcastic) I hate how I see people outside playing with their kids, laughing, and having a good time and when people say HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!! There is nothing happy about Father's Day. I wish my father was nice to me but NO!!! He is verbally Abusive to me everyday...
    cristina44 cristina44
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jun 15, 2014

    My Dad Is Still Like That.

    To put it simply, my Dad is narcissistic.  It's a psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.  I grew up with many emotional needs not being met.  I would try to find those needs...
    WarriorMom WarriorMom
    51-55, F
    7 Responses Apr 2, 2009

    "Booksmart" "You don't use your brain" "Do not

    make decisions on your own anymore, ask me before you do anything" "F*** U" "Stupid" "Lazy" And that's not even half of it. I can never please him no matter how hard I try. He told my sister that he has 3 levels of -whatever-. 1. Overachieve on everything you do. 2. Do...
    DearYou DearYou
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 25, 2015

    I have a verbally abusive father

    and I've been living with it for the past 16 years and im just ready to put a bullet in my head so I don't have to deal with anymore
    Holla34 Holla34
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Oct 10, 2015

    My dad's an ***, simple

    as that, but I'm the only one in my family of four that wants him out of the picture. He's been a nightmare for years and I only realized that he is what he is last year. My mom has been contemplating divorce, but shows no initiative. She's become so heavily affected that it...
    Jules725 Jules725
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 20, 2014

    help maybe?

    I just dont know what to do anymore, both my foster parents are verbally abusive and it hurts alot, im only 14 and i wake up every morning being called a sl*t stupid and a b*tch. They say they hate me and that im a disgrace and useless. At least im not getting physically abused...
    onelittlecat onelittlecat
    13-15, F
    16 Responses Nov 20, 2013

    Hi.i Am Elisabeth And I Have A Verbally Abusive Father...

    Hello, there.Thank you for welcoming me to this space. God knows I need to be among people who understand right now.My name is Elisabeth, 37 years old, and this is my story:I grew up in an upper middle class family. I never lacked anything in my education and we also trvelled a...
    ElisabethC ElisabethC
    36-40
    4 Responses Aug 24, 2011

    I feel terrible.My Father is a man

    that I am afraid of.He hits my mom,he hits me,but never touches my younger sister.He hits us and verbally makes us feel like trash when he feels he is "A Man." I cry praying he will change.He suddenly turns into this lovable nice caring person,but then turns into my worst...
    Iwillsucced Iwillsucced
    13-15, F
    1 Response Jun 14, 2015

    My father died at the age of 79.

    I was 58 years old when he passed away. In all of that time, my father only said something nice to me one time. Luckily it was not long before he died. After years of trying to turn him into a decent human being toward me, I finally succeeded. My dad was so disinterested in...
    leedee55 leedee55
    51-55, F
    1 Response Dec 15, 2014
    AlianaLeeuwen AlianaLeeuwen
    18-21, F
    Sep 18, 2015

    I have an abusive father

    and I feel like committing suicide. Excuse this wall of text, if anyone has advice on what I should do, please go right ahead. 2012: My father and mother get separated because all they would do was argue. My dad would call other women and ask them things such as...
    SadBeep SadBeep
    16-17, M
    2 Responses Aug 20, 2015

    Sick Of My Father

    My father has been verbally abusive to my mom, my older brothers, and myself, for as long as I can remember. He blames everyone else for his problems, talks to his wife and children like they are idiots, and continually puts us down. For example, I have maintained a 4.00 since...
    LittleBlackBat LittleBlackBat
    18-21, T
    3 Responses Jun 14, 2012

    I grew up with a dad the had very bad anger.

    I have my mom,brother and a sister and me. My dad always screamed at us and yelled. He once threw car keys at my mothers jaw and it made her bleed, he threw wooden spoons at us that hit the wall and would break.it would scare me. I always thought he would hurt me. Me and my...
    Jordanneedle Jordanneedle
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Aug 4, 2015

    My dad and I have never rally got on.

    I've been spoiled and never wanted for anything, but I feel like all of that was to get me to love him even though he doesn't love me. Anything he's ever bought me has then been used in a threat. I never do anything right in his eyes from earning my room to leaving doors open...
    immykehinde immykehinde
    18-21, F
    Feb 23, 2015

    My father is someone I can't stand being around.

    We haven't been getting along since I was 13. He has always used a harsh tone with me and a loving tone with my sister. He has always pushed me to my limits when it came to school and grades. I wasn't perfect but I did my best. But as I got older, nothing ever seemed to be...
    briederrick briederrick
    22-25, F
    Mar 2, 2015

    I'm so happy I found this site,

    finally I don't feel so alone. My dad fills all the criteria for verbally abusive parent, and it took me 20 years to find out I was abused all my life. In fact, I don't even remember ever having a normal conversation with him without him emotionally manipulating me. I read about...
    hopej93 hopej93
    18-21, F
    Dec 31, 2015

    My father is an alcoholic.

    ...a really bad one, he just yells for no reason and says the cruelest things, it's very embarrasing when he does it in public :/ he hasn't hit me but he's raised his fist at me and bashed my mother, he has a long history of violence, I don't speak to him anymore and neither do...
    Zezebabe Zezebabe
    18-21, F
    Oct 2, 2014

    FAITH. Love. Hope. Peace.

    The only way that I survive the last several years. It's difficult for me to admit that I am emotionally abused. I often wonder if it is all in my head, if I'm over-reacting, or just too sensitive. My father has been, well semi abusive since my earliest memories, somewhere...
    Seasongal Seasongal
    13-15
    Apr 23, 2015

    Is My Father Just Mean Or Verbally/emotionally Abusive? Please Read.

    Im trying to figure out if my father is verbally or emotionally abusive. I had my boyfriend and close friends tell me he is but I’ve always just thought he was mean. Here is my story, Before I turned 13, my father was a nice man. He was funny, nice to be around and loving. We...
    milkyway07 milkyway07
    22-25
    32 Responses Nov 30, 2011

    I was watching a documentary on domestic

    violence a week ago. They spoke of abuser traits and it dawned on me how much my dad fits that profile. He has always been so hard to deal with and I have no-one I can confide in about it...so, here I am. I don't know if this will help anybody else to hear, but I think it may...
    JasmineRoses JasmineRoses
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 27, 2014

    I am exhausted. Its 1:45am on a friday night.

    I just got off the phone with my mother, she wanted to make sure i was ok but instead i tried to soothe her. As usual my father has decided to have a tantrum. I am used to these tirades. I used to cry and feed into all the drama (ok not gonna lie i want to cry now). He gets...
    sweetplumeria sweetplumeria
    36-40
    3 Responses Jul 19, 2014

    Since I can rationalize my father has been

    verbally and physically abusive. I think it grew in intensity as the years went by and my personality started to evolve. I still live with him because of certain learning disorders I have. There is probably not a day that goes by when I don't here his words, his hate. I know...
    Safetysuit96 Safetysuit96
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 2, 2014

    Sad but true it's pain it's hurts I don't know

    what else to say someone chat with me.
    unhappyperson707 unhappyperson707
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 10, 2015

    I Grew Up With a Verbally Abusive Father

    My dad would always yell and call everyone stupid. It took me awhile to get those words out of my head. Our relationship is strained today because of the way he treated my mom, brother, & me. My mom is still married to him. He still treats her like crap. The other day the...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Mar 16, 2009

    My father uses "honor thy father

    and mother" as a way to control me. I'm 23 and he wants me to put him over my obligations to pay rent and buy groceries
    maggie4857 maggie4857
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 18, 2014

    Yes

    i don't want to talk to him ever, because of what he did. dad if you are reading this: i don't care what you try to do but you were never there for me when i was growing up and i get my swearing from you, i hope your happy.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Aug 27, 2012

    Physical, and Verbal..

    Growing up, my dad always beat me. He stole money from my wallet, hed hit me in the face all the time. One time he even punched me, in the throat, just because I failed a class with a 68. Im 16 now, and though he hasnt hit me in a few months im always very scared. He is always...
    kibbins kibbins
    16-17, M
    5 Responses May 16, 2009

    His favorite thing to say is: "You deserve what

    you get." Me: "I don't deserve you." Him: "You're right. You deserve worse." Me: "Worse than you is impossible." His second favorite thing to say is: "Grow a spine," to which I respond: "Grow a ****."
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 25, 2015

    Related Experiences

    I have joined for the last few hours, just in case I can help anyone. Professional, honest and unbiased advice given.. WR
    WelshRarebit69 WelshRarebit69
    46-50, F
    Apr 21
    Hi, Up until today I had been in an emotionally abusive lesbian marriage, I am a lesbian but my ex wife was trans. I truly accepted her, I loved her, but I hated her actions...
    MyNameIsKhryssy MyNameIsKhryssy
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 19
    It could be anyone. It could be your mother, your sister or somebody you know. It could be your friend, it doesn't even have to be somebody you know. You could react anyway! You...
    LeahLovee LeahLovee
    70+, F
    4 Responses Apr 19
    I didn't know my father that well. I remember when I was 10 years old my Dad took me to see the house where he was born in, because my Dad wasn't born in a hospital. He took a...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 19
    I'm gonna really miss ep. It’s helped me a lot and I wouldn’t have transformed into who I am today if I hadn’t found this site. I was in a toxic, emotionally abusive...
    tarara0414 tarara0414
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 19
    He was always so mean. I could never go to a friend's house without him thinking "You're probably just going there to see HER boyfriend." Why would I want to see her boyfriend when...
    StringZMeow StringZMeow
    16-17, F
    Apr 18
    Where my mother is innocent and guileless, my father is anything but. He is a complex man. Every interaction with him feels like a chess game. He used to be so controlling when...
    VioletVivid VioletVivid
    26-30
    2 Responses Apr 17
    It's almost been a year since I lost my father. He died in May 2015 after battling bladder cancer. I feel so bad that I couldn't be there with him during his final days at the...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 16
    Here's something that's been bothering me. Why do people do this? I don't understand the mentality that drives someone, anyone to cling on to emotionally abusive individuals. From...
    themanoflegends themanoflegends
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Apr 16
    My father passed away in 2012. He didn't get to see me graduate high school. I miss him everyday.
    Libranastasia Libranastasia
    18-21, F
    7 Responses Apr 15
    My father had cancer but he also had a very bad heart condition. I don't know which one killed him. He went through one chemo, but when the doctors suggested to undergo one more...
    Leotrine Leotrine
    56-60, T
    2 Responses Apr 15
    My Dad is very emotionally abusive. Wrecks me with guilt every time I see him, which isn't often. And when I can't make it to one of our dinner one night, if my mom takes the car...
    cecame cecame
    16-17, F
    Apr 14
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