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I Have a Warped Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,049 People

    I Love...

    A good laughter, but most of the time I love sarcasm. I am able to get it, answer to it, and throw a lot of sarcastic one liners. Some people look at me real weird for this. LOL Also black humour finds understanding in me just think it is funny. that is my kind a humour.
    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2012

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    Rubber Tuxedo

    , ill let you decide, but just so you know i can outrun the guys with the butterfly nets
    seadragon59 seadragon59 51-55, M Jun 5, 2011

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    Maybe It's Funnier In a Different Venue

    Here's a story I posted in "I love catchy movie quotes" or some such bullshit group like that.  It apparently sucked over there.  However, I've added a dollop of cowbell, and sprinkled some warped on it.  If no one comments on it here I'm leaving forever...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Oct 3, 2008

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    Twisted

    My sense of humour is based around sarcasm, one liners and laughing at inappropriate moments.
    Daveokay Daveokay 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    I Have a Very Twisted Sense of Humor

     I try not to freak anyone out with it though. lol
    Gelfwings Gelfwings 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 28, 2008

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    Haiku For Today

    Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 5 Responses Nov 7, 2007

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    Meeting.

    sitting through a four hour team meeting. my fav work friend and i sat around thinking of the best ways to kill ourselves. laughing hysterically. i love when my manager threatens me with the evil eye. too funny. i must say, we're quite crafty.
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F Jan 26, 2009

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    A Dog That Digs Holes.

    When I was a child There was a neighbor who had an old german sheppard dog. Whwn ever you walked past his house, this lonely old dog would come running up to the fence with a toy in his mouth, be it a stick, or a tennis ball or something of that sort. I think he was really just...
    Skunktails Skunktails 26-30, M Jan 25, 2009

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    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F Apr 29, 2012

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    Come Fly With Me, Come Fly Let's Fly Away!! Left!

    While doing some very important hands-on research into the growing phenomenon of internet sites whose sole objective is the gratuitous or commercial exploitation of unclothed women, I stumbled onto a curious fact on a curious website: bats always turn left when exiting a cave...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M Aug 27, 2008

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    Not For The Faint Of Heart

    Little Johnny goes up to his mum holding himself and says "Mum mum mum, I have to pee!" Mother replies "Would you like me to take you to the bathroom?" Johnny replies "No thanks, can you send Grandma..her hand shakes".
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F Sep 25, 2010

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    The Lone Non-paragrapher Rides Again!

      (In the interest of maximizing readership, the sharp, judiciously meted out tone of a well-tuned cowbell has been added to this story.  The story has not otherwise been altered.  Management apologizes for this inconvenience.)   “The Lone Non...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 7 Responses Jun 30, 2008

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    Oh My God There Is An Axe In My Head

    How to say "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head" in various languages English: Oh my god! There's an axe in my head. Bosnian: boje moj! sjekira mi je u glavi. French: Mon dieu! Il y a une hache dans ma tete...
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2007

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    I Have a Very Weird Sense of Humour Xd

       I think my humour is a dark but it does vary. For example i will laugh at silly things like when people pull faces, are being stupid, say anything which could spark off a funny thought in my head. But then I laugh when i am mean and im always making evil plans and...
    followthewhiterabbit followthewhiterabbit 22-25, F Jun 17, 2008

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    It's True...

    A while back a friend of mine... let's just call him... Dude. Dude, met a girl online. I suppose they really clicked (although I have no idea over what) and they got along (I wanted blow my brains out whenever I was around her) , she had a real job and was independant (her father...
    gypsofbabylon gypsofbabylon 26-30, F 7 Responses Dec 20, 2010

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    I Spontaniously Act

    Oh, I do have a warped sense of humor and love it. I love playing jokes on friends and rarely others. (mainly people that drink too much) It has gotten so bad it has become an addiction. I have a very creative mind and spontaniously come up with some off the wall ...
    freebird79 freebird79 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 3, 2009

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    Never Trust An Onion

    We have surrendered ourselves to the doctrines of dark gods of extraordinary images.The visions we behold, the philosophies we extract and the rewards we expect are nothing but eggplant living in a roadside men's room. Meet me at the local tavern and I shall ignite your...
    aspiderzdomain aspiderzdomain 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    He That Has and a Little Tiny Wit --

      Okay. WHAT is going on? Baricarus was soaring! I had my jester's costume all ready for the Coronation. Now this storm! "with hey, ho, the wind and the rain" -- Excuse me? Who said that? INCOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whew, that was close...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 5 Responses Aug 27, 2008

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    Definitely!

    I laugh at everything. Unforetunately for me the more serious the occasion, the more prone to laughter I am. I have laughed loudly at two funerals so now I stay away from them whenever possible. I wouldn't trade my sense of humor for anything though. Better to laugh than cry any...
    bvb1123 bvb1123 41-45, M Feb 26, 2011

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    For Example

    my daughter wanted a kitchen mat that was not ordinary so I got her a plain off-white mat and wrote in red Nothing says Loving like Blood Sacrifice.  Oddly enough her room-mates were afraid of her because of this.  I cannot imagine why.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2007

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    Ah Yes, But Dali Was a Tulip.

    ...and, as I always tell my droppings, "it's a fine line between warped and bent."
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 6, 2009

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    When "Fukitol" Is Just Not Cutting It.

      Have you ever had those days when you felt stifled, depressed, hemmed in by the world's ever-growing pressures and complexities? And were some of those days so stifling,  depressing, hemming…well, you know the rest… just so like that that not even a nice...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 16, 2008

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    Laughter Is The Best Medicine!

    I am one of those people who laughs at funerals – well, not at the funeral per say, but during the funeral. Inappropriate laughing has plagued me my entire life – I seem to lack what my 83-year-old mother calls “decorum.”
    tbone66 tbone66 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    I Can Only Please One Person

    My  friends  tell  me  I have  a  strange  sense  of  Humor  when  I  am  in  a mood  I  put  a  sign  on  my  door  it  said  "  I  CAN ...
    rockybear397 rockybear397 47, F 3 Responses Apr 2, 2008

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    Nebraska! Land of Reckless Abandonment!

    Child abandonment appears to be a growth industry in Nebraska, and by golly I need a piece of the action!! With energy prices tumbling, I've teamed up with a major airline to offer flight arrangements and guided tours of Nebraska's hottest venues, including its...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 29, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I'm Human - Yes, I'm weird but at least I have a sense of humor. I do have a sense of humor, I just find it hypocritical that others can make fun of me but I can't make fun of...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 29

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    I am no one. I am empty and hallow inside. I need someone to tell me who I am. I want to have a purpose.
    littleweewee123 littleweewee123 41-45, M 1 Response Jan 27

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    I sing in a choir.LOL!
    berangere berangere 66-70, F 4 Responses Feb 3

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    I rock climb with him and he's so funny. We always are teasing one of the teachers (who is totally cool and teases us back). He is very similar to me, but not so much that we...
    Marvilles Marvilles 13-15, F Jan 30

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    This is the phrase that I use on EP when people aren't using or don't seem to have basic sense. Whether it's constant generalizations, they're not thinking, they're completely...
    RationalCutie RationalCutie 22-25, F 4 Responses Feb 3

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    Well it should just be like idk, everyone should have common sense. It shouldn't be something that should be admired. Sadly, a lot of people don't have it or they just don't use it...
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Oh dear god... Dear god. Dear god. Oh my god. Holy ****! Oh my ******* god! Absolutely the most mind-blowing thing I've ever experienced. I'd even venture to say that it's the...
    metaphylosopher metaphylosopher 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 13

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    Believe a Good Sense of Humor Is Important
    goodnites1011 goodnites1011 22-25, M 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I've got a really dark sense of humor. I also write some really messed up stuff in my movies and stories.
    zzblurp zzblurp 18-21, M Feb 1

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    This is from a woman who is a life coach (or something like that - I'm not sure exactly what she chooses as her title.) I'm on her mailing list, and she also posts on Facebook...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 7 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I have such a weird sense of humor that probably no one would get. If I become a comedian, I would probably stand on stage cracking up at my own jokes lol.
    ohangela ohangela 13-15, F 4 Responses Feb 1

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    Lmfao ! I really do have a weird sense of humor . Do you ?
    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M 2 Responses Feb 3

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    I completely agree with this group. I find that a sense of humor is extremely important. Hey, life is hard enough, and the last thing i want to do is make it harder. Life comes...
    growingwisdom growingwisdom 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 15

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    I have that one weird sense of humor no one understands. Sometimes it makes me feel horrible because no one understands me. If I wanna say a joke I just push it down. I don't try...
    curvygirl55 curvygirl55 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 15

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    Lets face something. Life sucks. It doesn't matter if you're the homeless person living in a dumpster or a multibillionaire who inherited their wealth. There are elements of...
    SilverPagan SilverPagan 51-55, M 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    A good sense of humor is vital to being happy in my opinion. They say laughter is the best kind of medicine. Being so uptight all the time and cranky won't do you any good. So...
    GlockBlocked GlockBlocked 22-25, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Hey! Im 38 years old, almost 39 but my humor is silly/weird and in the gutter most of the time! Lol....so pull your pants up people and save that **** for later cuz I wanna talk...
    MissJamie12 MissJamie12 36-40 Jan 26

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    I think replying to someone in a humorous way can make one tell some hard truths without that person feeling insulted.
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 29

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    This 13 second skit presenting Family Guy's stereotypical humor. "I told you, what did I tell you? Didn't I tell you? Cause I told you UMmhmm And when did I tell you? A long time...
    MadNocturnes MadNocturnes 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 31

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    Lmfao .......... Some Friday night humor
    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M 5 days ago

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    If my tumble dryer could tell jokes it would have a dry sense of humour
    XUD9 XUD9 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 5

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    Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 2 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    **stupid rant incoming** Every day, I start to think more and more about how stupid and ignorant my grandfather is. He picks the most STUPID fights with me, and never believes...
    BananaSmoothiee BananaSmoothiee 18-21, F 2 Responses 8 hrs ago