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I Have a Warped Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,037 People

    Oh My God There Is An Axe In My Head

    How to say "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head" in various languages English: Oh my god! There's an axe in my head. Bosnian: boje moj! sjekira mi je u glavi. French: Mon dieu! Il y a une hache dans ma tete...
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2007

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    Meeting.

    sitting through a four hour team meeting. my fav work friend and i sat around thinking of the best ways to kill ourselves. laughing hysterically. i love when my manager threatens me with the evil eye. too funny. i must say, we're quite crafty.
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F Jan 26, 2009

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    Rubber Tuxedo

    , ill let you decide, but just so you know i can outrun the guys with the butterfly nets
    seadragon59 seadragon59 51-55, M Jun 5, 2011

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    I Love...

    A good laughter, but most of the time I love sarcasm. I am able to get it, answer to it, and throw a lot of sarcastic one liners. Some people look at me real weird for this. LOL Also black humour finds understanding in me just think it is funny. that is my kind a humour.
    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2012

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    Haiku For Today

    Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 5 Responses Nov 7, 2007

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    http://www.experienceproject.

    com/stories/Just-Have-To-Say/4445569
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Jun 22

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    Definitely!

    I laugh at everything. Unforetunately for me the more serious the occasion, the more prone to laughter I am. I have laughed loudly at two funerals so now I stay away from them whenever possible. I wouldn't trade my sense of humor for anything though. Better to laugh than cry any...
    bvb1123 bvb1123 41-45, M Feb 26, 2011

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    A Dog That Digs Holes.

    When I was a child There was a neighbor who had an old german sheppard dog. Whwn ever you walked past his house, this lonely old dog would come running up to the fence with a toy in his mouth, be it a stick, or a tennis ball or something of that sort. I think he was really just...
    Skunktails Skunktails 26-30, M Jan 25, 2009

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    For Example

    my daughter wanted a kitchen mat that was not ordinary so I got her a plain off-white mat and wrote in red Nothing says Loving like Blood Sacrifice.  Oddly enough her room-mates were afraid of her because of this.  I cannot imagine why.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2007

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    Ask Those Who Know Me

     Well, anyone that has listened to me tell stories at least and know what makes me laugh.  I have a twisted send of humor.  I laugh at things that other may cringe from but that's me.  Sick, perverted sense of humor.  Laughing is a good thing.  ...
    dorobo dorobo 70+, M Oct 3, 2008

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    Come Fly With Me, Come Fly Let's Fly Away!! Left!

    While doing some very important hands-on research into the growing phenomenon of internet sites whose sole objective is the gratuitous or commercial exploitation of unclothed women, I stumbled onto a curious fact on a curious website: bats always turn left when exiting a cave...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M Aug 27, 2008

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    I Have a Very Twisted Sense of Humor

     I try not to freak anyone out with it though. lol
    Gelfwings Gelfwings 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 28, 2008

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    The Lone Non-paragrapher Rides Again!

      (In the interest of maximizing readership, the sharp, judiciously meted out tone of a well-tuned cowbell has been added to this story.  The story has not otherwise been altered.  Management apologizes for this inconvenience.)   “The Lone Non...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 7 Responses Jun 30, 2008

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    I Can Only Please One Person

    My  friends  tell  me  I have  a  strange  sense  of  Humor  when  I  am  in  a mood  I  put  a  sign  on  my  door  it  said  "  I  CAN ...
    rockybear397 rockybear397 47, F 3 Responses Apr 2, 2008

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    Twisted

    My sense of humour is based around sarcasm, one liners and laughing at inappropriate moments.
    Daveokay Daveokay 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    Not For The Faint Of Heart

    Little Johnny goes up to his mum holding himself and says "Mum mum mum, I have to pee!" Mother replies "Would you like me to take you to the bathroom?" Johnny replies "No thanks, can you send Grandma..her hand shakes".
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F Sep 25, 2010

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    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F Apr 29, 2012

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    I Have a Very Weird Sense of Humour Xd

       I think my humour is a dark but it does vary. For example i will laugh at silly things like when people pull faces, are being stupid, say anything which could spark off a funny thought in my head. But then I laugh when i am mean and im always making evil plans and...
    followthewhiterabbit followthewhiterabbit 22-25, F Jun 17, 2008

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    Maybe It's Funnier In a Different Venue

    Here's a story I posted in "I love catchy movie quotes" or some such bullshit group like that.  It apparently sucked over there.  However, I've added a dollop of cowbell, and sprinkled some warped on it.  If no one comments on it here I'm leaving forever...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Oct 3, 2008

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    Ah Yes, But Dali Was a Tulip.

    ...and, as I always tell my droppings, "it's a fine line between warped and bent."
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 6, 2009

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    Laughter Is The Best Medicine!

    I am one of those people who laughs at funerals – well, not at the funeral per say, but during the funeral. Inappropriate laughing has plagued me my entire life – I seem to lack what my 83-year-old mother calls “decorum.”
    tbone66 tbone66 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    I Spontaniously Act

    Oh, I do have a warped sense of humor and love it. I love playing jokes on friends and rarely others. (mainly people that drink too much) It has gotten so bad it has become an addiction. I have a very creative mind and spontaniously come up with some off the wall ...
    freebird79 freebird79 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 3, 2009

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    Never Trust An Onion

    We have surrendered ourselves to the doctrines of dark gods of extraordinary images.The visions we behold, the philosophies we extract and the rewards we expect are nothing but eggplant living in a roadside men's room. Meet me at the local tavern and I shall ignite your...
    aspiderzdomain aspiderzdomain 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    He That Has and a Little Tiny Wit --

      Okay. WHAT is going on? Baricarus was soaring! I had my jester's costume all ready for the Coronation. Now this storm! "with hey, ho, the wind and the rain" -- Excuse me? Who said that? INCOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whew, that was close...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 5 Responses Aug 27, 2008

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    It's True...

    A while back a friend of mine... let's just call him... Dude. Dude, met a girl online. I suppose they really clicked (although I have no idea over what) and they got along (I wanted blow my brains out whenever I was around her) , she had a real job and was independant (her father...
    gypsofbabylon gypsofbabylon 26-30, F 9 Responses Dec 20, 2010

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    When "Fukitol" Is Just Not Cutting It.

      Have you ever had those days when you felt stifled, depressed, hemmed in by the world's ever-growing pressures and complexities? And were some of those days so stifling,  depressing, hemming…well, you know the rest… just so like that that not even a nice...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 16, 2008

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    Nebraska! Land of Reckless Abandonment!

    Child abandonment appears to be a growth industry in Nebraska, and by golly I need a piece of the action!! With energy prices tumbling, I've teamed up with a major airline to offer flight arrangements and guided tours of Nebraska's hottest venues, including its...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 29, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    Saw this comment somewhere.... "monogamy is not natures law- it's mans law. Men are naturally inclined to love more than one and spread their seed. Women's job was to secure a...
    YesIAmACat YesIAmACat 18-21 1 Response Nov 1

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    Drake-Sandstorm Let's see... How Many 9 Gaggers Are On Ep
    YesIAmACat YesIAmACat 18-21 1 Response Nov 1

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    MuuuuuuuuuHahahahahahahahaaaaa Look at the pic
    dashuria dashuria 13-15, F Nov 2

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    I laugh at myself when I can't button my shirt, for some reason I think that's funny
    Blankminds Blankminds 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 3

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    most people thinks if you have a pretty face , you dont have a sense humor. thats like so pathetic ..
    PinkLipstick00 PinkLipstick00 18-21, F 3 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    'Somewhere, There's A Sense of Humor' Said The Jack In The Box 'We Keep A Sense of Humor' Said The Gambler's Tokens At The Slots 'I Don't Like Your Sense of Humor' Said The...
    nivanvc nivanvc 36-40, M Nov 5

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    There is this man that my dad is friends with named Mr. Rice. His wife was substitute teacher once when I was in first grade. But Mr. Rice doesn't have any sense of humor...
    ThisIsJustForFun ThisIsJustForFun 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 7

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    When you interact with people online ,I think it is good to have a sense of humor.You like someone online.Fine .It is not natural that he or she may like you or do as you want.So...
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 6 Responses Nov 12

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    This small text/convo series gives me a very good humorous pleasure.. For those, who also like to read or have good sense of humour can check it. I bet you would like it :)http...
    satyr1007 satyr1007 26-30, M Nov 6

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    There are some awesome people in my circle. All have been through things and still have a sense of humor. I would love to have dinner and drinks with any of them. All have...
    SilverPagan SilverPagan 51-55, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Absolutely vital! If you have a sense of humour you'll never be short of friends!
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Nov 7

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    A lot of people are obsessed with their bladders?? I don't understand that one ,but a lot of people on this site have no sense of grammar. Ugh
    onecutebubbles0729 onecutebubbles0729 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 26

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    So in my last post I mentioned that I have a sense of adoration/ a "girl crush" on my chemistry lab partner. I've been thinking about how much she's helped me and how we might take...
    XxWolverinaxX XxWolverinaxX 18-21 Nov 9

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    If you are willing to help, I will be deeply thankful. It's for a nearby orphanage that needs funds for their Christmas festivity this year. Once again I'd be happy if you donate...
    MrsScissorhands MrsScissorhands 13-15, F Nov 14

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    I met her for the fist time in 1998. I know a long time ago but that was when it started. We road the same bus to and from High school. She was the first lady to refuse my advances...
    Thanval Thanval 31-35, M 12 hrs ago

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    You doesnt have a weird sense of humor, if people still understand and laugh at your humor.
    Weepinguy Weepinguy 22-25, M Oct 31

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    I've always had a dry sense of humor. Sometimes some people think I'm mean beacuase of my sarcasm but it's honestly just how I am. Sometimes I don't think people understand me...
    Rebelscorpio Rebelscorpio 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Seeing as this is possibly the most popular experience I've joined, there must be a bad judgement as to what weird humor is. However, I think my humor is weird because I don't like...
    FunnyLookingCorpse FunnyLookingCorpse 18-21 Nov 9

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    I believe a good sense of humor is important because sometimes if you are too serious you will not be able to take a joke. And if you can take a joke you will feel open to much...
    wabbey wabbey 13-15 2 Responses Nov 2

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    I try to make jokes all the time with girls, but most of the time it goes over their head. Why can't I find a women with a good sense of humor?
    makewiththejoke makewiththejoke 26-30, M 6 Responses Nov 9

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    I have a bit of a twisted sense of humor sometimes, I don't deny it. About 15 years or so ago, my ex and I had been having some issues with our cable provider, had service issues...
    shellseagirl shellseagirl 41-45, F 7 Responses Oct 27

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    It takes a lot to make me laugh. I fake laugh at bad jokes all the time. But for me to have a real laugh it takes some funny and sometimes weird things. I find random thoughts i...