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I Have a Warped Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,036 People

    Ask Those Who Know Me

     Well, anyone that has listened to me tell stories at least and know what makes me laugh.  I have a twisted send of humor.  I laugh at things that other may cringe from but that's me.  Sick, perverted sense of humor.  Laughing is a good thing.  ...
    dorobo dorobo 70+, M Oct 3, 2008

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    He That Has and a Little Tiny Wit --

      Okay. WHAT is going on? Baricarus was soaring! I had my jester's costume all ready for the Coronation. Now this storm! "with hey, ho, the wind and the rain" -- Excuse me? Who said that? INCOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whew, that was close...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 5 Responses Aug 27, 2008

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    Come Fly With Me, Come Fly Let's Fly Away!! Left!

    While doing some very important hands-on research into the growing phenomenon of internet sites whose sole objective is the gratuitous or commercial exploitation of unclothed women, I stumbled onto a curious fact on a curious website: bats always turn left when exiting a cave...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M Aug 27, 2008

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    I Can Only Please One Person

    My  friends  tell  me  I have  a  strange  sense  of  Humor  when  I  am  in  a mood  I  put  a  sign  on  my  door  it  said  "  I  CAN ...
    rockybear397 rockybear397 47, F 3 Responses Apr 2, 2008

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    Twisted

    My sense of humour is based around sarcasm, one liners and laughing at inappropriate moments.
    Daveokay Daveokay 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    Never Trust An Onion

    We have surrendered ourselves to the doctrines of dark gods of extraordinary images.The visions we behold, the philosophies we extract and the rewards we expect are nothing but eggplant living in a roadside men's room. Meet me at the local tavern and I shall ignite your...
    aspiderzdomain aspiderzdomain 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    It's True...

    A while back a friend of mine... let's just call him... Dude. Dude, met a girl online. I suppose they really clicked (although I have no idea over what) and they got along (I wanted blow my brains out whenever I was around her) , she had a real job and was independant (her father...
    gypsofbabylon gypsofbabylon 26-30, F 9 Responses Dec 20, 2010

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    I Love...

    A good laughter, but most of the time I love sarcasm. I am able to get it, answer to it, and throw a lot of sarcastic one liners. Some people look at me real weird for this. LOL Also black humour finds understanding in me just think it is funny. that is my kind a humour.
    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2012

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    Haiku For Today

    Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 5 Responses Nov 7, 2007

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    Oh My God There Is An Axe In My Head

    How to say "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head" in various languages English: Oh my god! There's an axe in my head. Bosnian: boje moj! sjekira mi je u glavi. French: Mon dieu! Il y a une hache dans ma tete...
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2007

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    Maybe It's Funnier In a Different Venue

    Here's a story I posted in "I love catchy movie quotes" or some such bullshit group like that.  It apparently sucked over there.  However, I've added a dollop of cowbell, and sprinkled some warped on it.  If no one comments on it here I'm leaving forever...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Oct 3, 2008

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    Laughter Is The Best Medicine!

    I am one of those people who laughs at funerals – well, not at the funeral per say, but during the funeral. Inappropriate laughing has plagued me my entire life – I seem to lack what my 83-year-old mother calls “decorum.”
    tbone66 tbone66 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    Rubber Tuxedo

    , ill let you decide, but just so you know i can outrun the guys with the butterfly nets
    seadragon59 seadragon59 51-55, M Jun 5, 2011

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    Ah Yes, But Dali Was a Tulip.

    ...and, as I always tell my droppings, "it's a fine line between warped and bent."
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 6, 2009

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    When "Fukitol" Is Just Not Cutting It.

      Have you ever had those days when you felt stifled, depressed, hemmed in by the world's ever-growing pressures and complexities? And were some of those days so stifling,  depressing, hemming…well, you know the rest… just so like that that not even a nice...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 16, 2008

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    Meeting.

    sitting through a four hour team meeting. my fav work friend and i sat around thinking of the best ways to kill ourselves. laughing hysterically. i love when my manager threatens me with the evil eye. too funny. i must say, we're quite crafty.
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F Jan 26, 2009

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    For Example

    my daughter wanted a kitchen mat that was not ordinary so I got her a plain off-white mat and wrote in red Nothing says Loving like Blood Sacrifice.  Oddly enough her room-mates were afraid of her because of this.  I cannot imagine why.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2007

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    http://www.experienceproject.

    com/stories/Just-Have-To-Say/4445569
    Livyn4pals Livyn4pals 46-50, M Jun 22

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    Not For The Faint Of Heart

    Little Johnny goes up to his mum holding himself and says "Mum mum mum, I have to pee!" Mother replies "Would you like me to take you to the bathroom?" Johnny replies "No thanks, can you send Grandma..her hand shakes".
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F Sep 25, 2010

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    I Have a Very Twisted Sense of Humor

     I try not to freak anyone out with it though. lol
    Gelfwings Gelfwings 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 28, 2008

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    I Have a Very Weird Sense of Humour Xd

       I think my humour is a dark but it does vary. For example i will laugh at silly things like when people pull faces, are being stupid, say anything which could spark off a funny thought in my head. But then I laugh when i am mean and im always making evil plans and...
    followthewhiterabbit followthewhiterabbit 22-25, F Jun 17, 2008

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    Definitely!

    I laugh at everything. Unforetunately for me the more serious the occasion, the more prone to laughter I am. I have laughed loudly at two funerals so now I stay away from them whenever possible. I wouldn't trade my sense of humor for anything though. Better to laugh than cry any...
    bvb1123 bvb1123 41-45, M Feb 26, 2011

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    A Dog That Digs Holes.

    When I was a child There was a neighbor who had an old german sheppard dog. Whwn ever you walked past his house, this lonely old dog would come running up to the fence with a toy in his mouth, be it a stick, or a tennis ball or something of that sort. I think he was really just...
    Skunktails Skunktails 26-30, M Jan 25, 2009

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    Nebraska! Land of Reckless Abandonment!

    Child abandonment appears to be a growth industry in Nebraska, and by golly I need a piece of the action!! With energy prices tumbling, I've teamed up with a major airline to offer flight arrangements and guided tours of Nebraska's hottest venues, including its...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 29, 2008

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    I Spontaniously Act

    Oh, I do have a warped sense of humor and love it. I love playing jokes on friends and rarely others. (mainly people that drink too much) It has gotten so bad it has become an addiction. I have a very creative mind and spontaniously come up with some off the wall ...
    freebird79 freebird79 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 3, 2009

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    The Lone Non-paragrapher Rides Again!

      (In the interest of maximizing readership, the sharp, judiciously meted out tone of a well-tuned cowbell has been added to this story.  The story has not otherwise been altered.  Management apologizes for this inconvenience.)   “The Lone Non...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 7 Responses Jun 30, 2008

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    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F Apr 29, 2012

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    No one said a good one ... :P
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    Yes, give me the truth! No matter how much it hurts, I'm a big girl I can take it...? Lol, half the time I don't even care what people think of me, and it only is really brutal in...
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    Most of the people that have a sense of humor or make people laugh are most in pain..
    onionheart16 onionheart16 26-30, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    So I just read an article about 4 teens that threw a 4 pound soccer ball size rock over an overpass and hit a car, severely injuring the woman driving. She lost her right eye, part...
    AjLeePunk AjLeePunk 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 22

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    I read something sad today from a friend who is now in a similar situation as i was this time last year and my heart goes out to her. As it was a time when i myself felt so very...
    lilreddress lilreddress 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 31

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    I went to community taco. night. I am a young Grandma. I saw my granddaughter at the tavern. We sat outside under the big oaks and talked casually. She told me how her new school...
    MCK21 MCK21 46-50, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    Back in high school, a good friend of mine taught me a good way to remember what a non sequitur is. He said, and I quote: "Okay, so imagine you're driving down the street smoking...
    scrtasnman13 scrtasnman13 18-21, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I have a weird sense of humor and I like people with a weird sense of humor. Serious humor, dry humor,blunt humor, dirty humor. It's attractive too :)
    PhilosophicMind PhilosophicMind 18-21, F Aug 31

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    Life can break one in so many ways . So cruel and unrelenting at times .I consider myself fortunate for having had a Mom with a great sense of humor and maybe by osmosis I...
    MizCamille MizCamille 41-45, F 5 Responses Sep 6

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    I have a very complex sense of humor. Not saying it would take a genius to understand my jokes, not at all.. Only people who I have more of a connection with seem to get my humor...
    StoneColdNipZz StoneColdNipZz 18-21, M 3 Responses Aug 28

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    I'm a chronic over-thinker, so I try to keep things light. Tragic circumstances call for morbid humor. As inappropriate as it may be, that's how I deal. Some of the most heated...
    adianoeta adianoeta 26-30, F 5 Responses Sep 2

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    Seriously, my sense of humor is proof that nature and nurture work together. My family is the source of most of my humor.
    GleefulLaughs GleefulLaughs 36-40, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Everyone's life sucks. It doesn't matter if you're living as a suburbanite in a "first world" country, a rag picker in India or a member of European royalty, there are things...
    CrazyWaterSpring CrazyWaterSpring 51-55, M 1 Response Aug 26

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    I make lots of poor jokes, and I've met few people just laugh their ***** off listening to me... haha I love such high sense of humored people :) So much happiness :)
    santees santees 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5Gvr-6gR4Ww Wtf is wrong my sense of humor? o_o XD
    DysfunctionalPiano DysfunctionalPiano 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 23

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    What has two thumbs and a weird sense of humor? Your mama! Hahahahaha
    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M Aug 28

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    When I was very young my grandparents used to watch my younger sister and I. My grandmother, who was an amazing woman that I miss very much, told me when you don't know what to do...
    lilHuman lilHuman 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    It's really dry and caustic, sometimes self- depreciating. Most people don't understand my sense of humor.
    ajrestless ajrestless 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 30

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    My sense of humor makes everyone creep out.
    dropdeadwilma dropdeadwilma 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 31

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