I Have a Warped Sense of Humor

my daughter wanted a kitchen mat that was not ordinary so I got her a plain off-white mat and wrote in red Nothing says Loving like Blood Sacrifice.  Oddly enough her room-mates were afraid of her because of this.  I cannot...

Okay. WHAT is going on? Baricarus was soaring! I had my jester's costume all ready for the Coronation. Now this storm! "with hey, ho, the wind and the rain" -- Excuse me? Who said that?
INCOMING...

Have you ever had those days when you felt stifled, depressed, hemmed in by the world's ever-growing pressures and complexities? And were some of those days so stifling,  depressing, hemming…well, you know the rest...

Little Johnny goes up to his mum holding himself and says "Mum mum mum, I have to pee!" Mother replies "Would you like me to take you to the bathroom?" Johnny replies "No thanks, can you send Grandma..her hand shakes".

, ill let you decide, but just so you know i can outrun the guys with the butterfly nets

I laugh at everything. Unforetunately for me the more serious the occasion, the more prone to laughter I am. I have laughed loudly at two funerals so now I stay away from them whenever possible. I wouldn't trade my sense of humor for...

A while back a friend of mine... let's just call him... Dude. Dude, met a girl online. I suppose they really clicked (although I have no idea over what) and they got along (I wanted blow my brains out whenever I was around her) , she...

I told my boss about a story I had read one day about a guy who was allergic to peanuts.  Anyway, his girlfriend had been eating peanuts and went to kiss him, and he went into anaphylactic shock.  I said, "Isn't that the...

...and, as I always tell my droppings, "it's a fine line between warped and bent."

My sense of humour is based around sarcasm, one liners and laughing at inappropriate moments.

While doing some very important hands-on research into the growing phenomenon of internet sites whose sole objective is the gratuitous or commercial exploitation of unclothed women, I stumbled onto a curious fact on a curious website...

A good laughter, but most of the time I love sarcasm. I am able to get it, answer to it, and throw a lot of sarcastic one liners. Some people look at me real weird for this. LOL
Also black humour finds understanding in me just think it...

We have surrendered ourselves to the doctrines of dark gods of extraordinary images.The visions we behold, the philosophies we extract and the rewards we expect are nothing but eggplant living in a roadside men's room. Meet me at the...

Windows NT crashed.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.

No one hears your screams.

I am one of those people who laughs at funerals – well, not at the funeral per say, but during the funeral. Inappropriate laughing has plagued me my entire life – I seem to lack what my 83-year-old mother calls &ldquo...

How to say
"Oh my god! There's an axe in my head" in various languages

English: Oh my god! There's an axe in my head.
Bosnian: boje moj! sjekira mi je u glavi.
French: Mon...