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I Have a Warped Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,029 People

    Nebraska! Land of Reckless Abandonment!

    Child abandonment appears to be a growth industry in Nebraska, and by golly I need a piece of the action!! With energy prices tumbling, I've teamed up with a major airline to offer flight arrangements and guided tours of Nebraska's hottest venues, including its...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 29, 2008

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    It's True...

    A while back a friend of mine... let's just call him... Dude. Dude, met a girl online. I suppose they really clicked (although I have no idea over what) and they got along (I wanted blow my brains out whenever I was around her) , she had a real job and was independant (her father...
    gypsofbabylon gypsofbabylon 26-30, F 9 Responses Dec 20, 2010

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    Come Fly With Me, Come Fly Let's Fly Away!! Left!

    While doing some very important hands-on research into the growing phenomenon of internet sites whose sole objective is the gratuitous or commercial exploitation of unclothed women, I stumbled onto a curious fact on a curious website: bats always turn left when exiting a cave...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M Aug 27, 2008

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    Haiku For Today

    Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 5 Responses Nov 7, 2007

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    http://www.experienceproject.

    com/stories/Just-Have-To-Say/4445569
    converted converted 46-50, M Jun 22

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    I Have a Very Twisted Sense of Humor

     I try not to freak anyone out with it though. lol
    Gelfwings Gelfwings 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 28, 2008

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    Not For The Faint Of Heart

    Little Johnny goes up to his mum holding himself and says "Mum mum mum, I have to pee!" Mother replies "Would you like me to take you to the bathroom?" Johnny replies "No thanks, can you send Grandma..her hand shakes".
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F Sep 25, 2010

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    He That Has and a Little Tiny Wit --

      Okay. WHAT is going on? Baricarus was soaring! I had my jester's costume all ready for the Coronation. Now this storm! "with hey, ho, the wind and the rain" -- Excuse me? Who said that? INCOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whew, that was close...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 5 Responses Aug 27, 2008

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    I Love...

    A good laughter, but most of the time I love sarcasm. I am able to get it, answer to it, and throw a lot of sarcastic one liners. Some people look at me real weird for this. LOL Also black humour finds understanding in me just think it is funny. that is my kind a humour.
    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2012

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    Ask Those Who Know Me

     Well, anyone that has listened to me tell stories at least and know what makes me laugh.  I have a twisted send of humor.  I laugh at things that other may cringe from but that's me.  Sick, perverted sense of humor.  Laughing is a good thing.  ...
    dorobo dorobo 70+, M Oct 3, 2008

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    When "Fukitol" Is Just Not Cutting It.

      Have you ever had those days when you felt stifled, depressed, hemmed in by the world's ever-growing pressures and complexities? And were some of those days so stifling,  depressing, hemming…well, you know the rest… just so like that that not even a nice...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 16, 2008

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    Twisted

    My sense of humour is based around sarcasm, one liners and laughing at inappropriate moments.
    Daveokay Daveokay 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F Apr 29, 2012

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    I Have a Very Weird Sense of Humour Xd

       I think my humour is a dark but it does vary. For example i will laugh at silly things like when people pull faces, are being stupid, say anything which could spark off a funny thought in my head. But then I laugh when i am mean and im always making evil plans and...
    followthewhiterabbit followthewhiterabbit 22-25, F Jun 17, 2008

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    Definitely!

    I laugh at everything. Unforetunately for me the more serious the occasion, the more prone to laughter I am. I have laughed loudly at two funerals so now I stay away from them whenever possible. I wouldn't trade my sense of humor for anything though. Better to laugh than cry any...
    bvb1123 bvb1123 41-45, M Feb 26, 2011

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    A Dog That Digs Holes.

    When I was a child There was a neighbor who had an old german sheppard dog. Whwn ever you walked past his house, this lonely old dog would come running up to the fence with a toy in his mouth, be it a stick, or a tennis ball or something of that sort. I think he was really just...
    Skunktails Skunktails 26-30, M Jan 25, 2009

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    Maybe It's Funnier In a Different Venue

    Here's a story I posted in "I love catchy movie quotes" or some such bullshit group like that.  It apparently sucked over there.  However, I've added a dollop of cowbell, and sprinkled some warped on it.  If no one comments on it here I'm leaving forever...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Oct 3, 2008

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    For Example

    my daughter wanted a kitchen mat that was not ordinary so I got her a plain off-white mat and wrote in red Nothing says Loving like Blood Sacrifice.  Oddly enough her room-mates were afraid of her because of this.  I cannot imagine why.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2007

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    Meeting.

    sitting through a four hour team meeting. my fav work friend and i sat around thinking of the best ways to kill ourselves. laughing hysterically. i love when my manager threatens me with the evil eye. too funny. i must say, we're quite crafty.
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F Jan 26, 2009

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    Rubber Tuxedo

    , ill let you decide, but just so you know i can outrun the guys with the butterfly nets
    seadragon59 seadragon59 51-55, M Jun 5, 2011

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    Laughter Is The Best Medicine!

    I am one of those people who laughs at funerals – well, not at the funeral per say, but during the funeral. Inappropriate laughing has plagued me my entire life – I seem to lack what my 83-year-old mother calls “decorum.”
    tbone66 tbone66 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    Never Trust An Onion

    We have surrendered ourselves to the doctrines of dark gods of extraordinary images.The visions we behold, the philosophies we extract and the rewards we expect are nothing but eggplant living in a roadside men's room. Meet me at the local tavern and I shall ignite your...
    aspiderzdomain aspiderzdomain 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    I Spontaniously Act

    Oh, I do have a warped sense of humor and love it. I love playing jokes on friends and rarely others. (mainly people that drink too much) It has gotten so bad it has become an addiction. I have a very creative mind and spontaniously come up with some off the wall ...
    freebird79 freebird79 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 3, 2009

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    Ah Yes, But Dali Was a Tulip.

    ...and, as I always tell my droppings, "it's a fine line between warped and bent."
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 6, 2009

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    I Can Only Please One Person

    My  friends  tell  me  I have  a  strange  sense  of  Humor  when  I  am  in  a mood  I  put  a  sign  on  my  door  it  said  "  I  CAN ...
    rockybear397 rockybear397 47, F 3 Responses Apr 2, 2008

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    The Lone Non-paragrapher Rides Again!

      (In the interest of maximizing readership, the sharp, judiciously meted out tone of a well-tuned cowbell has been added to this story.  The story has not otherwise been altered.  Management apologizes for this inconvenience.)   “The Lone Non...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 7 Responses Jun 30, 2008

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    Oh My God There Is An Axe In My Head

    How to say "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head" in various languages English: Oh my god! There's an axe in my head. Bosnian: boje moj! sjekira mi je u glavi. French: Mon dieu! Il y a une hache dans ma tete...
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2007

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    Related Experiences

    I believe that people become adults when they realize that they'll have to work for what they want and need.
    GoodLyndi GoodLyndi 41-45 1 Response Jul 16

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    If you make me laugh there's a huge chance I will love you forever like for real lmaoooooo 😂😂😂-ari
    zakiana15 zakiana15 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 30

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    You are walking in the park at dusk and you see this,what would you do? https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/t1.0-9/p480x480/525377_555963044444628_46714772_n.jpg...
    berangere berangere 66-70, F 6 Responses Jul 6

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    Priceless.
    berangere berangere 66-70, F 1 Response Jul 15

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    Lol. Lmao. But. Not mad at me. Lol Lmao.
    converted converted 46-50, M Jul 16

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    I like to laugh. I have a sense of humor and I really admire people that can laugh. It's so much fun to talk to someone that can make me smile or laugh even when I don't want to...
    Olivia2014 Olivia2014 31-35, F 8 Responses Jul 7

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    I know no one is perfect but not everyone should have kids. Doctors and laws should get into parents' IQ, whether they have common sense or not, habits, and salary. Gosh! If one...
    destinii3 destinii3 26-30, F 1 Response 22 hrs ago

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    Life's tough if you're not open to a sense of humor. You'll become demoralized, humiliated, and uncomfortable, but one thing that can't be taken from you is your ability to laugh...
    rafa194162 rafa194162 16-17, M 1 Response Jul 13

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    I've been told I have a dry sense of humor. Not sure if that's good or bad, but anyway... I believe everybody has a sense of humor, and without it, the world would be pretty damn...
    EmmaLL1999 EmmaLL1999 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 30

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    It's weird in the sense that I almost got literally expelled from my school thanks to my sense of humor. I believe everything can be made fun of. EVERYTHING. That doesn't mean I...
    QuadrupleM QuadrupleM 13-15, M 3 Responses Jul 12

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    "When troublesome days seem to make life empty, a lot of silly thoughts can help your mind remain fertile. Your sense of humor can also bring sunshine." — Dodinsky
    lovingRIZA lovingRIZA 51-55, F Jul 5

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    Back in 2009 was when I went. The Lineup that I got to see was; Dirty Heads, The Architects, Less Than Jake, Bouncing Souls, Big D and the Kids Table...and for some reason I could...
    SnakeDriver91 SnakeDriver91 22-25, M Jul 16

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    I don't know why, but her laugh is cute to me, and it makes me laugh as well. Or I can say smile. Her sense of humor is the best as well. She makes me laugh so hard and so much.
    KPfan29 KPfan29 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    Smartes and intelligence is so sexy to me but having a great sense of humor always is a big plus as well. I love to be with someone who can make me laugh and just gets me! I would...
    Chicgeekgal Chicgeekgal 22-25, F 3 days ago

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    My sense of humor Genuine. I Like Practical Jokes. Than It becomes handy to laugh. Like now, my Spell check is block by EP- Admin..The Woman of Gaisha, name Ur Masum. She always...
    milonrasna milonrasna 41-45, F Jul 14

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    I used a gif of Paul Ryan lifting weights for a Multimedia & Webpage Design project. My teacher said I had a weird sense of humor.
    notsofab notsofab 16-17, F Jul 16

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    I laugh at random things, gross out things, goofy things, dark humor, and insults (not seriously offensive but still Comedy Central roast like humor)
    Dayzdreamer Dayzdreamer 26-30, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I just went to warped tour yesterday it was amazing! There were so many good bands and we got to meet tons of them! Everyone there was going crazy and it was so much fun! Can't...
    KittyTittyGang2 KittyTittyGang2 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 29

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    I don't know why I love dark humor
    tommyfung tommyfung 16-17, M 2 Responses Jun 30

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    Is anyone going to Darien lake on the 8th for warped!?
    EowynElf EowynElf 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 2

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    Going tomorrow to the Holmdel, NJ warped tour and I'm SO EXCITED. I can't wait to see Mayday Parade!!
    hornewrecked hornewrecked 16-17, F Jul 5

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    I went to warped tour '14!!!
    alovelynightmare alovelynightmare 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    I laugh at the things most people don't, and I don't laugh at things that most people do. I love dry humor and extremely nerdy jokes like the one below:
    youthberry youthberry 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 7