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I Have a Warped Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,038 People

    It's True...

    A while back a friend of mine... let's just call him... Dude. Dude, met a girl online. I suppose they really clicked (although I have no idea over what) and they got along (I wanted blow my brains out whenever I was around her) , she had a real job and was independant (her father...
    gypsofbabylon gypsofbabylon 26-30, F 9 Responses Dec 20, 2010

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    Twisted

    My sense of humour is based around sarcasm, one liners and laughing at inappropriate moments.
    Daveokay Daveokay 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    I Love...

    A good laughter, but most of the time I love sarcasm. I am able to get it, answer to it, and throw a lot of sarcastic one liners. Some people look at me real weird for this. LOL Also black humour finds understanding in me just think it is funny. that is my kind a humour.
    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2012

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    I Can Only Please One Person

    My  friends  tell  me  I have  a  strange  sense  of  Humor  when  I  am  in  a mood  I  put  a  sign  on  my  door  it  said  "  I  CAN ...
    rockybear397 rockybear397 47, F 3 Responses Apr 2, 2008

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    When "Fukitol" Is Just Not Cutting It.

      Have you ever had those days when you felt stifled, depressed, hemmed in by the world's ever-growing pressures and complexities? And were some of those days so stifling,  depressing, hemming…well, you know the rest… just so like that that not even a nice...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 16, 2008

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    Laughter Is The Best Medicine!

    I am one of those people who laughs at funerals – well, not at the funeral per say, but during the funeral. Inappropriate laughing has plagued me my entire life – I seem to lack what my 83-year-old mother calls “decorum.”
    tbone66 tbone66 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    Come Fly With Me, Come Fly Let's Fly Away!! Left!

    While doing some very important hands-on research into the growing phenomenon of internet sites whose sole objective is the gratuitous or commercial exploitation of unclothed women, I stumbled onto a curious fact on a curious website: bats always turn left when exiting a cave...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M Aug 27, 2008

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    I Spontaniously Act

    Oh, I do have a warped sense of humor and love it. I love playing jokes on friends and rarely others. (mainly people that drink too much) It has gotten so bad it has become an addiction. I have a very creative mind and spontaniously come up with some off the wall ...
    freebird79 freebird79 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 3, 2009

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    Never Trust An Onion

    We have surrendered ourselves to the doctrines of dark gods of extraordinary images.The visions we behold, the philosophies we extract and the rewards we expect are nothing but eggplant living in a roadside men's room. Meet me at the local tavern and I shall ignite your...
    aspiderzdomain aspiderzdomain 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    I Have a Very Twisted Sense of Humor

     I try not to freak anyone out with it though. lol
    Gelfwings Gelfwings 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 28, 2008

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    I Have a Very Weird Sense of Humour Xd

       I think my humour is a dark but it does vary. For example i will laugh at silly things like when people pull faces, are being stupid, say anything which could spark off a funny thought in my head. But then I laugh when i am mean and im always making evil plans and...
    followthewhiterabbit followthewhiterabbit 22-25, F Jun 17, 2008

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    A Dog That Digs Holes.

    When I was a child There was a neighbor who had an old german sheppard dog. Whwn ever you walked past his house, this lonely old dog would come running up to the fence with a toy in his mouth, be it a stick, or a tennis ball or something of that sort. I think he was really just...
    Skunktails Skunktails 26-30, M Jan 25, 2009

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    Oh My God There Is An Axe In My Head

    How to say "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head" in various languages English: Oh my god! There's an axe in my head. Bosnian: boje moj! sjekira mi je u glavi. French: Mon dieu! Il y a une hache dans ma tete...
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2007

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    Maybe It's Funnier In a Different Venue

    Here's a story I posted in "I love catchy movie quotes" or some such bullshit group like that.  It apparently sucked over there.  However, I've added a dollop of cowbell, and sprinkled some warped on it.  If no one comments on it here I'm leaving forever...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Oct 3, 2008

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    Definitely!

    I laugh at everything. Unforetunately for me the more serious the occasion, the more prone to laughter I am. I have laughed loudly at two funerals so now I stay away from them whenever possible. I wouldn't trade my sense of humor for anything though. Better to laugh than cry any...
    bvb1123 bvb1123 41-45, M Feb 26, 2011

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    Ah Yes, But Dali Was a Tulip.

    ...and, as I always tell my droppings, "it's a fine line between warped and bent."
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 6, 2009

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    http://www.experienceproject.

    com/stories/Just-Have-To-Say/4445569
    Livyn4pals Livyn4pals 46-50, M Jun 22

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    Ask Those Who Know Me

     Well, anyone that has listened to me tell stories at least and know what makes me laugh.  I have a twisted send of humor.  I laugh at things that other may cringe from but that's me.  Sick, perverted sense of humor.  Laughing is a good thing.  ...
    dorobo dorobo 70+, M Oct 3, 2008

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    He That Has and a Little Tiny Wit --

      Okay. WHAT is going on? Baricarus was soaring! I had my jester's costume all ready for the Coronation. Now this storm! "with hey, ho, the wind and the rain" -- Excuse me? Who said that? INCOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whew, that was close...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 5 Responses Aug 27, 2008

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    For Example

    my daughter wanted a kitchen mat that was not ordinary so I got her a plain off-white mat and wrote in red Nothing says Loving like Blood Sacrifice.  Oddly enough her room-mates were afraid of her because of this.  I cannot imagine why.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2007

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    Not For The Faint Of Heart

    Little Johnny goes up to his mum holding himself and says "Mum mum mum, I have to pee!" Mother replies "Would you like me to take you to the bathroom?" Johnny replies "No thanks, can you send Grandma..her hand shakes".
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F Sep 25, 2010

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    Rubber Tuxedo

    , ill let you decide, but just so you know i can outrun the guys with the butterfly nets
    seadragon59 seadragon59 51-55, M Jun 5, 2011

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    Meeting.

    sitting through a four hour team meeting. my fav work friend and i sat around thinking of the best ways to kill ourselves. laughing hysterically. i love when my manager threatens me with the evil eye. too funny. i must say, we're quite crafty.
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F Jan 26, 2009

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    The Lone Non-paragrapher Rides Again!

      (In the interest of maximizing readership, the sharp, judiciously meted out tone of a well-tuned cowbell has been added to this story.  The story has not otherwise been altered.  Management apologizes for this inconvenience.)   “The Lone Non...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 7 Responses Jun 30, 2008

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    Haiku For Today

    Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 5 Responses Nov 7, 2007

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    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F Apr 29, 2012

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    Nebraska! Land of Reckless Abandonment!

    Child abandonment appears to be a growth industry in Nebraska, and by golly I need a piece of the action!! With energy prices tumbling, I've teamed up with a major airline to offer flight arrangements and guided tours of Nebraska's hottest venues, including its...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 29, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I'm just quirky by nature. I love puns and stupid jokes (not crude). I'm tend to ramble a lot and my mind just wonders into an abyss of randomness. I'm funny without even trying...
    GetYourFreakOn GetYourFreakOn 16-17, F Sep 25

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    So I'm watching the Family Guy and Simpson cross-over. If you haven't watched it there's a spoiler alert. I'm only less then 5 minutes in and Peter has become a comical cartoon...
    Gemz2411 Gemz2411 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 2

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    My wife always insists on turning out the lights out before we make love, which does not bother me. It's the hiding that seems so cruel (Jonathan Katz)
    dontcareforlabels dontcareforlabels 41-45, M 1 Response Sep 24

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    I'm not your average idiot... I'm actually really good at it! ;)
    Jpfunjunky Jpfunjunky 31-35, M Sep 24

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    Yaaaaaahhhh *accent* What accent do you think of?
    sashakimi4 sashakimi4 13-15, F 5 Responses Sep 25

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    Give a man a match and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm the rest of his life😄
    heavymetal99 heavymetal99 31-35, M 3 days ago

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    Life is constantly throwing challenges in the form of obstacles to what you want, where you want to go, people who are just awful. If you don't have a sense of humor, I'm not sure...
    princeofthieves123 princeofthieves123 31-35, M 2 Responses Oct 12

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    Is it just me, or do cops have zero sense of humor? Whatever, my 7-11 donuts are too good for you anyway
    AntonioV AntonioV 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 8

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    Feelin low as hell good thing i have a sense of humour. [Picture] "DJ Jesus died for your spins."
    Zack607 Zack607 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 23

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    If you don't have a sense of humor and you read my post. Please do not reply, I don't want to start a problem. I am a dumbass not a smartass. I never experience much of comment...
    ArcticPotato ArcticPotato 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 12

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    The Psyche Connection By: Deanna Jaxine Stinson, Paranormal Researcher Halo Paranormal Investigations - HPI International https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/HPIinternational...
    PaulDaleRoberts PaulDaleRoberts 51-55, M 3 days ago

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    I don't care what you believe in religion, no religion as long as it gives you happiness and hope or contentment. I don't want to change your ideas/insult them. I know people get...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 26

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    Because I'm not living and I just embarrassed myself while talking to the professor in front of class. All my life I had only one job at the bakery the rest of the time I'm sullen...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 11

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    In front of the whole class with disapproving eyes from my professor yesterday while she hears that I did nothing for two years and worked only at a bakery once. It's an...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 12

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    I didn't know what a twin flame was until a few days ago. I just knew the relationship I had with my tf was weird. It was just so strange that I kept looking up signs about what it...
    Lovesoftly Lovesoftly 31-35, F 1 Response a week ago

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    What's so wrong about being a spoiled brat? I have no life and I'm losing weight like crazy everyone's commenting about it even when they see me often. Can't I too have some sense...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Him: "say, you look really familiar, have we met before? her: yeah, i work at the VD clinic"...
    AntonioV AntonioV 46-50, M 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    Him: "Havent i seen you somewhere before?" Her; yeah, thats why i dont go there anymore"...
    AntonioV AntonioV 46-50, M 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    Just saw two lesbians making out in a car outside the bar... would have been pretty hot if they both didn't look like Andy Milonakis. Yuck, no bueno! On a lighter note who's still...
    AreYouDaft25 AreYouDaft25 31-35, M 4 Responses 1 hr ago

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    Him: "wanna go to my place?" Her: "why? Do you have a good looking roommate?"
    AntonioV AntonioV 46-50, M 1 Response 56 mins ago

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    I was really excited to go to my friend's wedding. At her bachelorette party she said she was really happy for me. My boyfriend was serious about a future together. He has...
    naisho naisho 31-35, F 5 days ago

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    I really like people who have a good sense of humor. Sometimes it's hard to make me really laugh because I have a weird sense of humor but I love making people laugh and I love to...
    Plungeintoadream Plungeintoadream 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 1

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    I hoped that I would know what category of humor I like but I think it's called black humor and just a normal sense of humor. Like Tom & Jerry ,normal, sense of humor. 😆
    neffi neffi 13-15, M 4 days ago