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I Have a Warped Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,048 People

    The Lone Non-paragrapher Rides Again!

      (In the interest of maximizing readership, the sharp, judiciously meted out tone of a well-tuned cowbell has been added to this story.  The story has not otherwise been altered.  Management apologizes for this inconvenience.)   “The Lone Non...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 7 Responses Jun 30, 2008

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    I Have a Very Weird Sense of Humour Xd

       I think my humour is a dark but it does vary. For example i will laugh at silly things like when people pull faces, are being stupid, say anything which could spark off a funny thought in my head. But then I laugh when i am mean and im always making evil plans and...
    followthewhiterabbit followthewhiterabbit 22-25, F Jun 17, 2008

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    Come Fly With Me, Come Fly Let's Fly Away!! Left!

    While doing some very important hands-on research into the growing phenomenon of internet sites whose sole objective is the gratuitous or commercial exploitation of unclothed women, I stumbled onto a curious fact on a curious website: bats always turn left when exiting a cave...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M Aug 27, 2008

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    Definitely!

    I laugh at everything. Unforetunately for me the more serious the occasion, the more prone to laughter I am. I have laughed loudly at two funerals so now I stay away from them whenever possible. I wouldn't trade my sense of humor for anything though. Better to laugh than cry any...
    bvb1123 bvb1123 41-45, M Feb 26, 2011

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    Twisted

    My sense of humour is based around sarcasm, one liners and laughing at inappropriate moments.
    Daveokay Daveokay 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    Meeting.

    sitting through a four hour team meeting. my fav work friend and i sat around thinking of the best ways to kill ourselves. laughing hysterically. i love when my manager threatens me with the evil eye. too funny. i must say, we're quite crafty.
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F Jan 26, 2009

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    Oh My God There Is An Axe In My Head

    How to say "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head" in various languages English: Oh my god! There's an axe in my head. Bosnian: boje moj! sjekira mi je u glavi. French: Mon dieu! Il y a une hache dans ma tete...
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2007

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    He That Has and a Little Tiny Wit --

      Okay. WHAT is going on? Baricarus was soaring! I had my jester's costume all ready for the Coronation. Now this storm! "with hey, ho, the wind and the rain" -- Excuse me? Who said that? INCOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whew, that was close...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 5 Responses Aug 27, 2008

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    Ah Yes, But Dali Was a Tulip.

    ...and, as I always tell my droppings, "it's a fine line between warped and bent."
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 6, 2009

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    Haiku For Today

    Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 5 Responses Nov 7, 2007

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    It's True...

    A while back a friend of mine... let's just call him... Dude. Dude, met a girl online. I suppose they really clicked (although I have no idea over what) and they got along (I wanted blow my brains out whenever I was around her) , she had a real job and was independant (her father...
    gypsofbabylon gypsofbabylon 26-30, F 7 Responses Dec 20, 2010

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    Not For The Faint Of Heart

    Little Johnny goes up to his mum holding himself and says "Mum mum mum, I have to pee!" Mother replies "Would you like me to take you to the bathroom?" Johnny replies "No thanks, can you send Grandma..her hand shakes".
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F Sep 25, 2010

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    I Have a Very Twisted Sense of Humor

     I try not to freak anyone out with it though. lol
    Gelfwings Gelfwings 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 28, 2008

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    Nebraska! Land of Reckless Abandonment!

    Child abandonment appears to be a growth industry in Nebraska, and by golly I need a piece of the action!! With energy prices tumbling, I've teamed up with a major airline to offer flight arrangements and guided tours of Nebraska's hottest venues, including its...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 29, 2008

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    When "Fukitol" Is Just Not Cutting It.

      Have you ever had those days when you felt stifled, depressed, hemmed in by the world's ever-growing pressures and complexities? And were some of those days so stifling,  depressing, hemming…well, you know the rest… just so like that that not even a nice...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 16, 2008

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    I Spontaniously Act

    Oh, I do have a warped sense of humor and love it. I love playing jokes on friends and rarely others. (mainly people that drink too much) It has gotten so bad it has become an addiction. I have a very creative mind and spontaniously come up with some off the wall ...
    freebird79 freebird79 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 3, 2009

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    Rubber Tuxedo

    , ill let you decide, but just so you know i can outrun the guys with the butterfly nets
    seadragon59 seadragon59 51-55, M Jun 5, 2011

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    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F Apr 29, 2012

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    I Love...

    A good laughter, but most of the time I love sarcasm. I am able to get it, answer to it, and throw a lot of sarcastic one liners. Some people look at me real weird for this. LOL Also black humour finds understanding in me just think it is funny. that is my kind a humour.
    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2012

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    Never Trust An Onion

    We have surrendered ourselves to the doctrines of dark gods of extraordinary images.The visions we behold, the philosophies we extract and the rewards we expect are nothing but eggplant living in a roadside men's room. Meet me at the local tavern and I shall ignite your...
    aspiderzdomain aspiderzdomain 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    Maybe It's Funnier In a Different Venue

    Here's a story I posted in "I love catchy movie quotes" or some such bullshit group like that.  It apparently sucked over there.  However, I've added a dollop of cowbell, and sprinkled some warped on it.  If no one comments on it here I'm leaving forever...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Oct 3, 2008

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    A Dog That Digs Holes.

    When I was a child There was a neighbor who had an old german sheppard dog. Whwn ever you walked past his house, this lonely old dog would come running up to the fence with a toy in his mouth, be it a stick, or a tennis ball or something of that sort. I think he was really just...
    Skunktails Skunktails 26-30, M Jan 25, 2009

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    Laughter Is The Best Medicine!

    I am one of those people who laughs at funerals – well, not at the funeral per say, but during the funeral. Inappropriate laughing has plagued me my entire life – I seem to lack what my 83-year-old mother calls “decorum.”
    tbone66 tbone66 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    I Can Only Please One Person

    My  friends  tell  me  I have  a  strange  sense  of  Humor  when  I  am  in  a mood  I  put  a  sign  on  my  door  it  said  "  I  CAN ...
    rockybear397 rockybear397 47, F 3 Responses Apr 2, 2008

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    For Example

    my daughter wanted a kitchen mat that was not ordinary so I got her a plain off-white mat and wrote in red Nothing says Loving like Blood Sacrifice.  Oddly enough her room-mates were afraid of her because of this.  I cannot imagine why.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2007

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    Related Experiences

    Tbh .. I don't want anything serious.. I'm not ready for the emotional part yet .. 😁
    bprice0600 bprice0600 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    Well it should just be like idk, everyone should have common sense. It shouldn't be something that should be admired. Sadly, a lot of people don't have it or they just don't use it...
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 25

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    Oh dear god... Dear god. Dear god. Oh my god. Holy ****! Oh my ******* god! Absolutely the most mind-blowing thing I've ever experienced. I'd even venture to say that it's the...
    metaphylosopher metaphylosopher 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 13

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    A part of me is determined not to forget even though it only brings me pain! I feel responsible for remembering and carrying the pain with me into every facet of my life.The most...
    lauren71 lauren71 41-45, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    When I was a teenager, there were times when I was angry, but there was a little trick to help me get over my anger. That little trick was humor. Since then, I always enjoyed...
    growingwisdom growingwisdom 22-25, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I like to be with people that have a good sense of humor. I do not like to hear or see people try to be standup comics. I think standup comics are just looking to get some...
    planter715 planter715 51-55, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Unfortunately for me my humor always comes out at the worst times -_- For instance my friend fell down a flight of stairs injuring her ankle right before a volleyball game a couple...
    WhoNeedsAUsername WhoNeedsAUsername 16-17, F 12 Responses 3 days ago

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    What more is there to say when your sense of humor of a touch above the sense of normality? Nothing. Just learn to sit back and enjoy what makes you laugh, and remember to give way...
    MynameisSei MynameisSei 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I completely agree with this group. I find that a sense of humor is extremely important. Hey, life is hard enough, and the last thing i want to do is make it harder. Life comes...
    growingwisdom growingwisdom 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 15

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    I have that one weird sense of humor no one understands. Sometimes it makes me feel horrible because no one understands me. If I wanna say a joke I just push it down. I don't try...
    curvygirl55 curvygirl55 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 15

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    Lets face something. Life sucks. It doesn't matter if you're the homeless person living in a dumpster or a multibillionaire who inherited their wealth. There are elements of...
    SilverPagan SilverPagan 51-55, M 6 Responses Feb 23

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    A good sense of humor is vital to being happy in my opinion. They say laughter is the best kind of medicine. Being so uptight all the time and cranky won't do you any good. So...
    GlockBlocked GlockBlocked 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 23

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    Believe a Good Sense of Humor Is Important
    goodnites1011 goodnites1011 22-25, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    because there's nothing like a good laugh. I love to make ppl around me laugh, whether it's by making a funny remark, joke or just being sarcastic. A good sense of humor is always...
    LeeOmar88 LeeOmar88 26-30, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Absolutely!!! It's a turn on when a guy or even a girl haha has very good sense of humor!
    alecsandria alecsandria 18-21, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    If you loose one sense, your other senses are enhanced, is that why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance ?
    Heartbroken46 Heartbroken46 41-45, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Lmfao .......... Some Friday night humor
    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M Feb 20

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    If my tumble dryer could tell jokes it would have a dry sense of humour
    XUD9 XUD9 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 5

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    I have a weird sense of humour - I find this funny:“A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men...
    EclipseV EclipseV 31-35, M 4 Responses 5 days ago