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I Have a Warped Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,024 People

    I Spontaniously Act

    Oh, I do have a warped sense of humor and love it. I love playing jokes on friends and rarely others. (mainly people that drink too much) It has gotten so bad it has become an addiction. I have a very creative mind and spontaniously come up with some off the wall ...
    freebird79 freebird79 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 3, 2009

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    Oh My God There Is An Axe In My Head

    How to say "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head" in various languages English: Oh my god! There's an axe in my head. Bosnian: boje moj! sjekira mi je u glavi. French: Mon dieu! Il y a une hache dans ma tete...
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2007

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    I Have a Very Weird Sense of Humour Xd

       I think my humour is a dark but it does vary. For example i will laugh at silly things like when people pull faces, are being stupid, say anything which could spark off a funny thought in my head. But then I laugh when i am mean and im always making evil plans and...
    followthewhiterabbit followthewhiterabbit 22-25, F Jun 17, 2008

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    A Dog That Digs Holes.

    When I was a child There was a neighbor who had an old german sheppard dog. Whwn ever you walked past his house, this lonely old dog would come running up to the fence with a toy in his mouth, be it a stick, or a tennis ball or something of that sort. I think he was really just...
    Skunktails Skunktails 26-30, M Jan 25, 2009

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    I Have a Very Twisted Sense of Humor

     I try not to freak anyone out with it though. lol
    Gelfwings Gelfwings 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 28, 2008

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    Maybe It's Funnier In a Different Venue

    Here's a story I posted in "I love catchy movie quotes" or some such bullshit group like that.  It apparently sucked over there.  However, I've added a dollop of cowbell, and sprinkled some warped on it.  If no one comments on it here I'm leaving forever...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Oct 3, 2008

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    For Example

    my daughter wanted a kitchen mat that was not ordinary so I got her a plain off-white mat and wrote in red Nothing says Loving like Blood Sacrifice.  Oddly enough her room-mates were afraid of her because of this.  I cannot imagine why.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2007

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    Never Trust An Onion

    We have surrendered ourselves to the doctrines of dark gods of extraordinary images.The visions we behold, the philosophies we extract and the rewards we expect are nothing but eggplant living in a roadside men's room. Meet me at the local tavern and I shall ignite your...
    aspiderzdomain aspiderzdomain 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    Not For The Faint Of Heart

    Little Johnny goes up to his mum holding himself and says "Mum mum mum, I have to pee!" Mother replies "Would you like me to take you to the bathroom?" Johnny replies "No thanks, can you send Grandma..her hand shakes".
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F Sep 25, 2010

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    The Lone Non-paragrapher Rides Again!

      (In the interest of maximizing readership, the sharp, judiciously meted out tone of a well-tuned cowbell has been added to this story.  The story has not otherwise been altered.  Management apologizes for this inconvenience.)   “The Lone Non...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 7 Responses Jun 30, 2008

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    Rubber Tuxedo

    , ill let you decide, but just so you know i can outrun the guys with the butterfly nets
    seadragon59 seadragon59 51-55, M Jun 5, 2011

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    Come Fly With Me, Come Fly Let's Fly Away!! Left!

    While doing some very important hands-on research into the growing phenomenon of internet sites whose sole objective is the gratuitous or commercial exploitation of unclothed women, I stumbled onto a curious fact on a curious website: bats always turn left when exiting a cave...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M Aug 27, 2008

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    It's True...

    A while back a friend of mine... let's just call him... Dude. Dude, met a girl online. I suppose they really clicked (although I have no idea over what) and they got along (I wanted blow my brains out whenever I was around her) , she had a real job and was independant (her father...
    gypsofbabylon gypsofbabylon 26-30, F 9 Responses Dec 20, 2010

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    When "Fukitol" Is Just Not Cutting It.

      Have you ever had those days when you felt stifled, depressed, hemmed in by the world's ever-growing pressures and complexities? And were some of those days so stifling,  depressing, hemming…well, you know the rest… just so like that that not even a nice...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 16, 2008

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    Haiku For Today

    Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
    TwilyghtZone TwilyghtZone 51-55, F 5 Responses Nov 7, 2007

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    Definitely!

    I laugh at everything. Unforetunately for me the more serious the occasion, the more prone to laughter I am. I have laughed loudly at two funerals so now I stay away from them whenever possible. I wouldn't trade my sense of humor for anything though. Better to laugh than cry any...
    bvb1123 bvb1123 41-45, M Feb 26, 2011

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    Anaphylactic Shock

    I told my boss about a story I had read one day about a guy who was allergic to peanuts.  Anyway, his girlfriend had been eating peanuts and went to kiss him, and he went into anaphylactic shock.  I said, "Isn't that the most awesome thing you ever heard?"...
    somewhatlost somewhatlost 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 14, 2008

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    Twisted

    My sense of humour is based around sarcasm, one liners and laughing at inappropriate moments.
    Daveokay Daveokay 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    Laughter Is The Best Medicine!

    I am one of those people who laughs at funerals – well, not at the funeral per say, but during the funeral. Inappropriate laughing has plagued me my entire life – I seem to lack what my 83-year-old mother calls “decorum.”
    tbone66 tbone66 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2010

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    Meeting.

    sitting through a four hour team meeting. my fav work friend and i sat around thinking of the best ways to kill ourselves. laughing hysterically. i love when my manager threatens me with the evil eye. too funny. i must say, we're quite crafty.
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F Jan 26, 2009

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    Nebraska! Land of Reckless Abandonment!

    Child abandonment appears to be a growth industry in Nebraska, and by golly I need a piece of the action!! With energy prices tumbling, I've teamed up with a major airline to offer flight arrangements and guided tours of Nebraska's hottest venues, including its...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 29, 2008

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    I Love...

    A good laughter, but most of the time I love sarcasm. I am able to get it, answer to it, and throw a lot of sarcastic one liners. Some people look at me real weird for this. LOL Also black humour finds understanding in me just think it is funny. that is my kind a humour.
    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2012

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    Ah Yes, But Dali Was a Tulip.

    ...and, as I always tell my droppings, "it's a fine line between warped and bent."
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 6, 2009

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    I Can Only Please One Person

    My  friends  tell  me  I have  a  strange  sense  of  Humor  when  I  am  in  a mood  I  put  a  sign  on  my  door  it  said  "  I  CAN ...
    rockybear397 rockybear397 47, F 3 Responses Apr 2, 2008

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    Ask Those Who Know Me

     Well, anyone that has listened to me tell stories at least and know what makes me laugh.  I have a twisted send of humor.  I laugh at things that other may cringe from but that's me.  Sick, perverted sense of humor.  Laughing is a good thing.  ...
    dorobo dorobo 70+, M Oct 3, 2008

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    zuzi57 zuzi57 51-55, F Apr 29, 2012

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    He That Has and a Little Tiny Wit --

      Okay. WHAT is going on? Baricarus was soaring! I had my jester's costume all ready for the Coronation. Now this storm! "with hey, ho, the wind and the rain" -- Excuse me? Who said that? INCOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whew, that was close...
    mikalbobikal mikalbobikal 46-50, M 5 Responses Aug 27, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I've been like this since a was little. But it seems the older I have gotten so has the problem. Not many people know this about me but I have senses that are very high strung. My...
    SylenaEverlasting SylenaEverlasting 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    At super this my son states that he intends to visit Brazil. My husband, who is infinitely filled with wisdom, replies that my son should look into the possibility of starting a...
    emmasbackporch emmasbackporch 46-50, F 2 Responses Apr 2

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    A two year old who dances like Elvis.Amazing! https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=4wt824D1Bqg
    berangere berangere 66-70, F 3 Responses Mar 25

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    I can't stand unfairness. Who are anyone to say they are worth more than others?
    thao333 thao333 26-30, F 1 day ago

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    Hello, I don't really know where else to turn at this point and I came across this website so here I am. I'm 24 years old and my sibling who is 29 has paranoid schizophrenia. She...
    shannankylei shannankylei 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    Firstly, if you have a sense of humor, please watch: http://pollystreaming.com/SpongeBob-SquarePants-Season-1-Episode-2b-Ripped-Pants_v7105 Secondly, here's my story: Two years...
    LEMONkinks LEMONkinks 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    I feel, horrible. I have for about three weeks now, more or less. More this week. Of course, it may be because I actually stack two blank nights, and one three hours night, in that...
    WickedScullyOfTheWest WickedScullyOfTheWest 31-35, F Mar 29

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    Beliefs/Religions Sorry if this seems sarcastic because I am. I think we all have the rights to believe in anything we want. I always try to accept the fact that people have...
    Chirogymnast Chirogymnast 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 6

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    I believe I have common sense but whoever chose this cover photo didn't.
    PteMatriarch PteMatriarch 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    I have such a personal dilemma and it's causing way more of a commotion inside me then it should . Logically looking at it there's a reasonable explanation to the issue , that...
    Briinx Briinx 31-35, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    No, I'm not perfect by a long shot, I've done some really stupid things in my past, but Jesus, I have more sense and consideration than to do anything to mess up anyone's lives...
    suzieb1971 suzieb1971 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    I have such a personal dilemma and it's causing way more of a commotion inside me then it should . Logically looking at it there's a reasonable explanation to the issue , that...
    Briinx Briinx 31-35, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I have had many, many experiences of precognition throughout my life. They usually arise out of periods of doubt where I am worried about where the future may take me. They range...
    thisiseph thisiseph 22-25, F Mar 25

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    Well, if you want to get technical, I still am. I'm still in and out of a few of the shelters in my area. However, I know this is a temporary situation that was meant to teach me...
    Mariposa85 Mariposa85 26-30, F Apr 8

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    I'm always the one making like jokes that don't make sense and then I'm the only one who laughs at them. But my besties get my sense of humor... Sometimes.
    BBBritPlease BBBritPlease 18-21, F 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I'm not sure what I want to title this blog, but I do know it's going to include a little bit about my life and my story. Especially with Zack, my boyfriend, soon to be leaving for...
    babyypaige babyypaige 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    I believe a sense of humor makes someone 10xs more interesting and its attractive when you're able to laugh along with others:) and honestly it just feels great to laugh
    Score16 Score16 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    Everybody who I've told what she does to me says that she is abusive, but I'm still not sure. I know that she's narcissistic because in all the articles I read about it almost all...
    jules401 jules401 13-15, F 4 Responses Mar 29

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    I have a less than average sense of humor but I live every minute of it
    Maddya Maddya 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Life can be tough sometimes. However, I also think we all have a tendency to take life too seriously and obsess about things that, in the larger scheme of things, might not be all...
    AnonymousEP77 AnonymousEP77 41-45, M 3 Responses Mar 25

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    Vans warped tour is sick. I go to the one in Ventura every year for my birthday! I love all the people and bands you get to see! The best craziness I've ever experienced!
    thatgirlkay thatgirlkay 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 3

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    Sister: go **** yourself Me: already did! My humor is so sick
    broadwaybabe99 broadwaybabe99 13-15, F 4 Responses Mar 20

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    Now that some time has passed ... I can laugh at how horrible my birthday weekend was :-) I can't believe I actually renamed it in my planner to "**** house weekend" hahaha That...
    thislittlejourney thislittlejourney 26-30, F Mar 24

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    It's wonderful having a daft, childish sense of humour. Seeing the funny side of life, even if it's dark humour, helps me get through even the baddest of days.
    RicRaver RicRaver 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 4

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    Haha funny :D Onions would make a lot more sense.
    yesenia25 yesenia25 26-30, F 3 days ago

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    I ******* laugh at too much and some things aren't funny at all that other people laugh at lol if that makes sense
    lysschris lysschris 13-15, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I have not been diagnosed. However, lately I started looking up more information about anxiety disorders. I'm 31 and have been shy and quiet my entire life. I thought it was...
    CamillaRhodes CamillaRhodes 31-35, F