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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 110,712 People

    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    A women and child was sitting across from me on

    the bus. The mother was ignoring the kid and texting, the child was jumping about and misbehaving. The kid then came over and shouted "Are you my daddy?" the mother looked up, I stared her in the eye and said "Probably"
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 10 Responses Apr 14

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    newshoes13 newshoes13 18-21, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I will laugh my head of at something

    and all my friends will look at me as if I have the Black Death or something (lol)
    HannahlovesHH HannahlovesHH 13-15, F 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    smartie67128820 smartie67128820 13-15, F 4 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Do I have a date for Valentine's day?

    Of course ! February 14
    lostCake lostCake 22-25, F 10 Responses Feb 13

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    Everyone is turning on me

    for posting the writing but I think with the picture it makes more sense and funnier
    smartie67128820 smartie67128820 13-15, F 5 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Life's a *****. Also,

    my mom's nickname is "Life". (It's a joke, people. Lighten up.)
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I love it when ppl fall.

    .i dont know why .. even when i do ..im always looking for that one epic fail ..like that black chick singing on the table and busted her ***!! i think its more of ppl thinking there so suave and then BAM something ***** them up lmao!!!
    haileyx16 haileyx16 16-17, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I named my cat "Curiosity".

    He killed himself.
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    This seem so funny to me 😂😂😂

    why would people post this of me and her??
    stephanyee stephanyee 18-21, F 11 Responses 1 day ago

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    That's How Things Are Done Around Here

    Ever asked yourself why we continue to do what we are doing if there is a different way out there?A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas on the top. Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the...
    juliana9 juliana9 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    I love going tmi during conversations.

    I just told a complete stranger "Brb I can feel my period leaking" and his reply was just "Omg -_-"
    metaphornographic metaphornographic 18-21, F 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    "I had a dream about you.

    " "Awww..." "Yeah, you died."
    SuicidalSilence SuicidalSilence 13-15 5 Responses Jan 10

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    My mom passed away a year ago

    and I make jokes about it because that's the only way I can deal with it! Yup I'm messed up! lol
    SuperLizLoves SuperLizLoves 18-21, F 33 Responses Jul 16

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    I love kids...even got a few of my own,

    but I'm tired of every time I pull out my phone, they're running up to me like I got a Dora the Explorer mixtape or something. No!! You can't see my phone!!! Lol
    1dukes25 1dukes25 26-30, M 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    Stranger: "You have a nice face!

    " Me: "Thanks, my parents gave it to me."
    Lunarflowerrr Lunarflowerrr 22-25, F 6 Responses Apr 17

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    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 41-45, M 10 Responses Feb 2

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    Guy Needs A Push (joke)

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 42 Responses Mar 28, 2012

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    What does a nosey pepper do?

    Get jalapeño business. The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
    newshoes13 newshoes13 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    What if you started making car alarm noises

    when people you didn’t like touched you.
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 14 Responses Jul 7

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    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian

      An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..  She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 66 Responses Feb 28, 2010

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    Is This Joke Funny Or Is It Just Me?

    A young man began his career as a magician on a cruise ship. Vital to his act was his pet parrot - the bird would always steal his act by giving away the trick, “the card is up his sleeve” or “he hid the dove in his pocket.” This always got a great laugh from the audience...
    deleted deleted 26-30 24 Responses Jan 2, 2012

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    A person is defined by his

    or her actions at a yellow light
    ThePursuitOfHappiness ThePursuitOfHappiness 18-21, M 10 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 64 Responses Jun 10, 2010

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    Image, have a good laugh

    and a super day
    MiriamL MiriamL 22-25 22 hrs ago

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    When people get hurt usually normal people

    respond with shock. My first response is to giggle uncontrollably..... :-(. I try holding my breath to not laugh but it's uncontrollable and makes me look like an ***...
    darkhorsek darkhorsek 26-30, F 1 day ago

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    Well mine is up beat,

    or I can laugh at what people can't see what part is funny until I mention, then they be like oh that's harsh. So yeah
    kamachulu kamachulu 22-25, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Q: What's red, white

    and blue and goes around and around and around?
    biggunsatx biggunsatx 36-40, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    A man received message from his neighbor.

    . Sorry sir I am using your wife. I am using day and night, I am using when you are not present at home, Infact I am using more than YOU are using, I confess this because now I feel very much guilty, Hope You will accept my sincere apologies!! Man went home and had a big fight...
    Allwaysthink825 Allwaysthink825 22-25, F 14 Responses Mar 1

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    A burglar broke into a house one night.

    He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when he heard a voice in the dark say 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit he shook his head and continued. Just as he...
    drs0307 drs0307 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 26

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    I find it funny how everything you say becomes

    p3rv3rted when you add: "if you know what I mean" and a grin. "Hi, I'm Ansonicchi, if you know what I mean." *grin* "Here's your today's paper, if you know what I mean." *grin* "I'm going to the bathroom, if you know what I mean." *grin* "Wanna have lunch? If you know what I...
    Ansonicchi Ansonicchi 18-21, M 8 Responses Jun 16

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    Why do guys tell women to go make them a damn

    samich? I don't need a woman to make me a damn samich. I can make my own damn samich.
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 7 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 24 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    Hahahahhaah

    HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA Lol im sooooo bored hahahahaahhaha
    Ashey16 Ashey16 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 27, 2013

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    If I make you breakfast in bed,

    say "Thank you." not "How did you get in my house?"
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    When Insults Had Class -- Courtesy Of Stumble Upon (my Other Addiction)

    “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” –Winston Churchill “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” –Clarence Darrow “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 18 Responses Oct 13, 2011

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    I was in "that"aisle

    and my mother was a few steps away but I was being lazy so me being the awesome person that I am,I yelled at her "MOM DO YOU THINK ITS TIME FOR YOU TO STOP USING TAMPONS IF YOU KEEP PLUGGING IT UP ILL NEVER GET A BROTHER"😂😂 It was awesome my mom was mortified and I couldn...
    spanishcowboys4eva spanishcowboys4eva 16-17, F 11 Responses May 6

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    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 1 day ago

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    Two Mischievous Brothers (joke)

    Found this on Stumbleupon... thought it was cute. Two Mischievous Brothers Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The...
    deleted deleted 26-30 23 Responses Nov 3, 2011

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    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 19

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    True Story: I was about to get into shower an

    hour ago, knock at the door, so I put my robe on and answered it. It was a lady, Jehovah's Witness. I let her talk for about 10 second before I started to untie the cord to my robe ... and suddenly she was gone
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 8 Responses Mar 29

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    I'm ugly, and I'm forgetful,

    but at least I'm not ugly.
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Right now I'm wearing some basketball shorts,

    and these ones have pockets. It's funny because in the pockets are money's. The money's are funny because the money's are coins. The coin's are funny because they keep slipping out. Each time they slip out, I'm like "Noooo!! Don't leave me!!" And I search around till I find...
    MyNameMeansLight MyNameMeansLight 16-17, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Isn't it rather odd that

    so many anti Jewish sentiments are being freely published on Facebook when that was co-invented by a Jew?
    changiexpat changiexpat 46-50, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Why would anyone in their right mind watch a

    video that people say will "melt your heart"? I'm pretty sure a melted heart will cause you to stop being alive.
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Why did the little girl with no arms drop her

    ice cream? Why? Cause she got hit by a bus...
    newshoes13 newshoes13 18-21, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I feel like Walmart is Spaceball One

    and I'm Dark Helmet. "I'm surrounded by ********!"
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Yes I truly do. I just had a laughing fit

    for about 15 mins on the phone with my friend and it was pretty stupid things I was laughing about I needed it tho; tears running down my face I was laughing so hard. What he said was far from funny I mean far!
    Chicgeekgal Chicgeekgal 22-25, F 4 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    There should make a movie about an evil person

    who goes around killing people and stealing their souls, and at the end of the movie, there should be an announcement that says "No gingers were harmed in the making of this movie."
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I think some times that wrapping cord around a

    stupid persons neck and watching the choke to death would be awsome. But I don't look good in prison orange so I just flip them off. Lol
    Idbw Idbw 31-35 2 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    smartie67128820 smartie67128820 13-15, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    "My teacher pointed me with her ruler

    and said, "at the end of this ruler there is an idiot!" I got detention after asking which one." Happy Teacher Appreciation week educators!
    iEPeace iEPeace 26-30, F 7 Responses May 6

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    There's no way I'm a virgin.

    Not with the way the manager at Walmart keeps ******* me over. I wish he'd at least buy me dinner first. I'm a pretty cheap date too. A burger is good enough for me. Hell, I'd get naked for a milkshake.