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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 170,598 People

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    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 10 Responses Jan 25, 2015

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    I'm just.. gonna leave this here.

    . http://iwritebadfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/55838401974/blue
    Brothergoro Brothergoro 18-21 1 Response Jan 26

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    xkmb xkmb 56-60 1 Response Jan 28

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    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 25 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 59 Responses Jun 10, 2010

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    I laugh at some things

    that I probably shouldn't laugh at :/
    Sicgoat173 Sicgoat173 16-17, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Isn't it weird that we have one hand

    that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like "Idk to how to hold a pencil.." O.O
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 17 Responses Jan 1, 2015

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    My girlfriend just left me.

    The fact that she's imaginary makes it worse.
    deleted deleted 26-30 17 Responses Mar 12, 2015

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    JustBipolarMe JustBipolarMe 46-50, M 4 Responses Jan 29

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    If a girl says "First of all",

    run. There's never been a good "first of all". You've never heard a girl say "First of all, I'm gonna suck your ****". And you never will. "First of all" means that girl has done research, has data and her pie charts ready and you are done. xD
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 8 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    twerkingnarwhals twerkingnarwhals 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    I was hanging out with a guy

    who seemed to be really into me, we were at a park sitting on a bench. He said "scoot closer, you're too far away" & I replied "why don't you just come over here and sit on daddy's lap ;)" he didn't think it was funny and asked me never to say that again. If you can't laugh when...
    rangek rangek 18-21, F 35 Responses Jul 16, 2014

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    I lost my teeth in a bike accident

    while impressing someone!!!!
    fahad7khan fahad7khan 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 30

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    Another hookup hazard

    that we could learn from: When considering on saying 'Yes' to a match, never assume that a generous-sized c*ck doesn't come with an annoyingly humongous d*ckhead.
    iCuriousBabe iCuriousBabe 41-45, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    Newconvo1 Newconvo1 41-45, M 1 Response Jan 30

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    Trust me, as a Sikh man you never wanna hear a

    Singhni say to you... "Singh, can you like tie your dastaar properly, please..." And am like "Can mind your own Business, please?" ESPECIALLY when you dnt know her.
    Sazzio Sazzio 26-30, M Jan 30

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    Mooresville Mooresville 13-15, M 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    Mooresville Mooresville 13-15, M 5 days ago

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    To do is to be - Nietzsche To be is to do -

    Kant Do be do be do - Sinatra D'oh - Simpson
    WhereIsMyBeard WhereIsMyBeard 26-30, T 5 days ago

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    Humans tend to dramatize everything they

    experience and blow it way out of proportion. As a human myself I am not exempt from that behavior :)
    Hush92 Hush92 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 27

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    Your call is very important to us.

    Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 16 Responses Mar 9, 2015

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    Do you ever notice that

    when you are ignoring a phone call, the phone seems to ring longer than usual
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 18 Responses Jan 8, 2015

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    How to make tea like a pro: 1: Put water in the

    kettle 2: Put kettle on the stove and turn on the burner 3: Instantly forget you're making tea and wander off to do other things. 4: Realize that the random whistling coming from across the house is the tea kettle 5: PANIC 6: Run across the house as fast as you can and...
    Ztun7856 Ztun7856 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 26

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    Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell

    you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't...
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Mar 13, 2015

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    JustBipolarMe JustBipolarMe 46-50, M a week ago

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    I'm thinking about changing the brand of

    bottled water I drink. I really need to start stepping outside of my comfort zone.
    Mooresville Mooresville 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 28

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    Ok. So, this is very immature

    and classless and pretty hilarious all rolled into one! Tonight I taught my dog to raise his paw when asked "who farted?" He does it so good! Hahaha! He looks so silly! I'm still giggling....
    Femininewiles Femininewiles 26-30, F 17 Responses Dec 13, 2014

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    i enjoyed watching this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i17pORf_iE4
    xkmb xkmb 56-60 Jan 27

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    It's funny how up until around 14 years old

    "69" was just another number..
    akaShaun akaShaun 18-21, M 26 Responses Dec 8, 2014

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    20 years ago we had Johnny cash,

    bob hope, and Steve jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs. Please... Never let Kevin bacon die..
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    iCuriousBabe iCuriousBabe 41-45, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    Geekjunk Geekjunk 18-21, M 6 Responses Jan 20, 2015

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    bigunsatx bigunsatx 36-40, M 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 11 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 46-50, M 8 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Beer: Making guys think

    that they can dance for centuries.
    usedandabused73 usedandabused73 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 29

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    Normal people flirting: Hey you're cute we

    should go out sometime Me trying to flirt: So.... do you like bread?.... ~.~
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 25 Responses Mar 14, 2015

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    Most of my jokes fall flat with people.

    I suppose that's because I don't find sexual and offensive jokes amusing and don't use them. Because of that, I kinda prefer pranks. I actually "Tigger bounced" one of my friends, scared him half to death.
    Machina24 Machina24 18-21, M 5 Responses a week ago

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    You can't argue with a sick mind.

    You can tune a piano,but you can't tuna fish.But,seriously.
    Pablo56692112 Pablo56692112 56-60, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I think Crocs are the best contraceptive

    invented. Who would get turned on seeing someone on those ?
    breathingeasy breathingeasy 41-45, M 11 Responses Jul 15, 2015

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    I often wonder when you get accupuncture is

    there a voodoo doll screaming in an alternate universe.?
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Aug 19, 2014

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    bigunsatx bigunsatx 36-40, M 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    Duct tape can't fix stupidity

    but it can muffle its sound.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 10 Responses Jan 12, 2015

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    stomach mad, butthole sad I thought of this

    after I ate a hotdog for dinner and got rlly bad poop
    goodatnothing goodatnothing 18-21, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can

    go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 23, 2015

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