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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 170,504 People

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    Ok. So, this is very immature

    and classless and pretty hilarious all rolled into one! Tonight I taught my dog to raise his paw when asked "who farted?" He does it so good! Hahaha! He looks so silly! I'm still giggling....
    Femininewiles Femininewiles 26-30, F 17 Responses Dec 13, 2014

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    We live in a society

    where pizza gets to your house before the police.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 9 Responses Jan 28, 2015

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    I was hanging out with a guy

    who seemed to be really into me, we were at a park sitting on a bench. He said "scoot closer, you're too far away" & I replied "why don't you just come over here and sit on daddy's lap ;)" he didn't think it was funny and asked me never to say that again. If you can't laugh when...
    rangek rangek 18-21, F 35 Responses Jul 16, 2014

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    My girlfriend just left me.

    The fact that she's imaginary makes it worse.
    deleted deleted 26-30 17 Responses Mar 12, 2015

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    I know a word that starts with F

    and ends with UCK. Firetruck.
    czen czen 26-30, M Jan 27

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    Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can

    go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 23, 2015

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    I lost my teeth in a bike accident

    while impressing someone!!!!
    fahad7khan fahad7khan 18-21, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    IS THIS NOT HOW EVERY YOUTUBE STORYTIME VIDEO

    LOOKS LMAOO also I will be posting a satirical storytime probably tomorrow or Friday so yeah stay posted and pls subscribe to my channel https://youtu.be/R2s3faOLvN0
    yukongoldpotato yukongoldpotato 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 28

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    I'm thinking about changing the brand of

    bottled water I drink. I really need to start stepping outside of my comfort zone.
    Mooresville Mooresville 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 28

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    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 46-50, M 8 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    iCuriousBabe iCuriousBabe 41-45, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    I think Crocs are the best contraceptive

    invented. Who would get turned on seeing someone on those ?
    breathingeasy breathingeasy 41-45, M 11 Responses Jul 15, 2015

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    How to make tea like a pro: 1: Put water in the

    kettle 2: Put kettle on the stove and turn on the burner 3: Instantly forget you're making tea and wander off to do other things. 4: Realize that the random whistling coming from across the house is the tea kettle 5: PANIC 6: Run across the house as fast as you can and...
    Ztun7856 Ztun7856 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 26

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    Do you ever notice that

    when you are ignoring a phone call, the phone seems to ring longer than usual
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 18 Responses Jan 8, 2015

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    You can't argue with a sick mind.

    You can tune a piano,but you can't tuna fish.But,seriously.
    Pablo56692112 Pablo56692112 56-60, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    20 years ago we had Johnny cash,

    bob hope, and Steve jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs. Please... Never let Kevin bacon die..
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    Azuriela Azuriela 41-45, F 5 Responses Jan 25

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    Another hookup hazard

    that we could learn from: When considering on saying 'Yes' to a match, never assume that a generous-sized c*ck doesn't come with an annoyingly humongous d*ckhead.
    iCuriousBabe iCuriousBabe 41-45, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Most of my jokes fall flat with people.

    I suppose that's because I don't find sexual and offensive jokes amusing and don't use them. Because of that, I kinda prefer pranks. I actually "Tigger bounced" one of my friends, scared him half to death.
    Machina24 Machina24 18-21, M 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    It's funny how up until around 14 years old

    "69" was just another number..
    akaShaun akaShaun 18-21, M 26 Responses Dec 8, 2014

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    ANYWAYAYAYYA HAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHA THIS IS THE

    FUNNIEST THING IVE WVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    yukongoldpotato yukongoldpotato 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 26

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    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 11 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    JustBipolarMe JustBipolarMe 46-50, M 4 days ago

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    Isn't it weird that we have one hand

    that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like "Idk to how to hold a pencil.." O.O
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 17 Responses Jan 1, 2015

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    Mooresville Mooresville 13-15, M 3 days ago

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    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 25 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    xkmb xkmb 56-60 1 Response Jan 28

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    Geekjunk Geekjunk 18-21, M 6 Responses Jan 20, 2015

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    bigunsatx bigunsatx 36-40, M 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    Humans tend to dramatize everything they

    experience and blow it way out of proportion. As a human myself I am not exempt from that behavior :)
    Hush92 Hush92 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 27

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    i enjoyed watching this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i17pORf_iE4
    xkmb xkmb 56-60 Jan 27

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    Hey guys x) Why'd Sally fall off the swing?

    Cause she had no arms!! Knock knock Who's there? Not sally you selfish arm having bastard ! My dad told me this and i laugh so hard just thinking about it hahahaha
    MaeEmlynn MaeEmlynn 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 28

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    JustBipolarMe JustBipolarMe 46-50, M 4 Responses a week ago

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    My male friend went to doctors the other day to

    ask what's the best treatment for baldness. The doctor said "I have the same problem and the best thing is female love juices". My friend looked at the doctor and replied "but doctor,you are balder than me"?. Doctor looked and said to my friend "but you must admit,I have one...
    Shellster69 Shellster69 31-35, F 10 Responses Sep 26, 2014

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    If a girl says "First of all",

    run. There's never been a good "first of all". You've never heard a girl say "First of all, I'm gonna suck your ****". And you never will. "First of all" means that girl has done research, has data and her pie charts ready and you are done. xD
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 8 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    stomach mad, butthole sad I thought of this

    after I ate a hotdog for dinner and got rlly bad poop
    goodatnothing goodatnothing 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Fifty shades of Grey is only considered romantic

    because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal Minds episode.
    CestLaVegan CestLaVegan 26-30, F 30 Responses Feb 27, 2015

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    Beer: Making guys think

    that they can dance for centuries.
    usedandabused73 usedandabused73 41-45, M 3 Responses a week ago

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    To do is to be - Nietzsche To be is to do -

    Kant Do be do be do - Sinatra D'oh - Simpson
    WhereIsMyBeard WhereIsMyBeard 26-30, T 3 days ago

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    bigunsatx bigunsatx 36-40, M 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    alamsyed25 alamsyed25 18-21, M 6 Responses Jan 24

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    twerkingnarwhals twerkingnarwhals 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 59 Responses Jun 10, 2010

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    I don't know today I read this book about this

    EMO guy and now I can't help but think "I want an EMO boyfriend or bestfriend" 😂😳??
    dyingflower16 dyingflower16 16-17, F Jan 28

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    I often wonder when you get accupuncture is

    there a voodoo doll screaming in an alternate universe.?
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Aug 19, 2014

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