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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 126,391 People

    As a man, I find slicing a stick of pepperoni

    can be painful for me, especially when I accidentally slice my penis instead of the pepperoni.
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    "I know this isn't a good time,

    but, I gotta go..."WARNING: It's gross.  
    LEMONrelishthemusic LEMONrelishthemusic 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I used to be butthurt,

    but then I farted, relieving the stress from my ***.
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian

      An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..  She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 67 Responses Feb 28, 2010

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    My friends say my humor

    and sarcasm don't match my facial expression πŸ˜• but then they say that's what makes it so funny
    PartyPat2336 PartyPat2336 16-17 1 Response 1 day ago

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    What if you started making car alarm noises

    when people you didn’t like touched you.
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 15 Responses Jul 7

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    I often wonder when you get accupuncture is

    there a voodoo doll screaming in an alternate universe.?
    Songbird35 Songbird35 31-35, F 11 Responses Aug 19

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    This IS my breakfast music baby!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhE5i1KOrtI
    FreezerDog1 FreezerDog1 18-21, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    That's How Things Are Done Around Here

    Ever asked yourself why we continue to do what we are doing if there is a different way out there?A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas on the top. Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the...
    juliana9 juliana9 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    "If I fart in my wallet,

    I'll have gas money." - my dad
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 11 Responses Aug 7

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    A burglar broke into a house one night.

    He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when he heard a voice in the dark say 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit he shook his head and continued. Just as he...
    drs0307 drs0307 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 26

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    I must have a weird sense of humor

    because this video had me in tears (laughing)! Though, at the end of it, I felt slightly unsettled...? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwQdFlCShag
    RedOctagon RedOctagon 22-25, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    There's a guy who asked me " do you pleasure

    yourself ? " And I was like : yeah ... by eating Him : it wasn't what I meant but ok Me : that's the point HAHAH I AM WEIRD πŸ‘…πŸ™
    Flowerydedo Flowerydedo 16-17, F 7 Responses Aug 24

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    Hahahahhaah

    HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA Lol im sooooo bored hahahahaahhaha
    Ashey16 Ashey16 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 27, 2013

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    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 26 Responses Aug 26

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    Two peanuts were walking down the street

    and one was a salted. LOL
    lookingtovent lookingtovent 16-17, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    So today, one of my friends friends was

    bragging about her new job at McDonald's. She is 21, 2 years older than me. Basically she was rubbing it in everyone's face that only smart people have jobs. I don't really brag about my job, not that I'm not happy about it but I'm just not a massive snob like her. (PS she ain...
    Gemz2411 Gemz2411 18-21, F 9 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    "I had a dream about you.

    " "Awww..." "Yeah, you died."
    SuicidalSilence SuicidalSilence 13-15 5 Responses Jan 10

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    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 10 Responses Aug 28

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    Ok, I don't exactly know

    where to post this. But recently in my area there was an automobile accident involving a male and female. Apparently the girl overdosed and the boyfriend was rushing to the hospital. He flipped the car on a tight turn and they both died. Now, when I was informed by a family...
    Patrikios Patrikios 18-21, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Life is like toilet paper.

    You're either on a roll or you're taking **** from some *******.
    Nomad712 Nomad712 56-60, M Aug 3

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    Okay, okay so listen πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ He said: Books

    or me. I sometimes remember him when I'm buying new books. LOL. This is so freaking genius!
    2wrp 2wrp 13-15, F 2 days ago

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    Hahaha sexting fail! Idk

    where my sis saw this but I almost pissed myself laughing... Guy: hey Girl : hey Guy: wud Girl: laying in bed Guy: just that? Really? Aren't you doing anything else? Girl: I'm eating cereal Guy: what would you do if I was in bed with you right now? Girl: eat my cereal Guy...
    kittykat6918 kittykat6918 13-15, F 9 Responses Aug 17

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    Is This Joke Funny Or Is It Just Me?

    A young man began his career as a magician on a cruise ship. Vital to his act was his pet parrot - the bird would always steal his act by giving away the trick, β€œthe card is up his sleeve” or β€œhe hid the dove in his pocket.” This always got a great laugh from the audience...
    deleted deleted 26-30 22 Responses Jan 2, 2012

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    seeing people die with blood in a movie is

    always funny to me ^_^ im sorry to ally friends 0.0
    TheRainbowDino TheRainbowDino 13-15, F 6 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    What if the ice bucket challenge is a Catholic

    plot to baptize all nin-believers?
    nelby710 nelby710 18-21, F 37 Responses 5 days ago

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    Guy Needs A Push (joke)

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 42 Responses Mar 28, 2012

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    I was hanging out with a guy

    who seemed to be really into me, we were at a park sitting on a bench. He said "scoot closer, you're too far away" & I replied "why don't you just come over here and sit on daddy's lap ;)" he didn't think it was funny and asked me never to say that again. If you can't laugh when...
    rangek rangek 18-21, F 42 Responses Jul 16

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    Sometimes, when a girl goes on about how great

    her boyfriend is, I'll say to her, "You're boyfriend sounds awesome. Is he single?" It usually leads to an awkward silence.
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Rose (from Titanic) be like- I nominate Jack

    for the Ice Bucket Challenge..
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 6 Responses Aug 21

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    I just got back from a doctor's visit.

    The doc said I should stop mast*rbating. I asked why and he said, ''because I'm trying to examine you.''
    buggyjuggy buggyjuggy 41-45, F 16 Responses 6 days ago

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    UGLY GIRLS ARE LIKE UNICORNS THEY DONT EXIST

    Today a lady told me that her granddaughter gets bullied bad in high school cuz she is too skinny my heart broke im soo blessed that i get to be homeschooled but after hearing that it hurts that a group of girls can be so Freaken mean for no reason and thats y i wanna make a...
    desitor desitor 16-17, F 6 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    minioreosarebomb minioreosarebomb 22-25, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 41-45, M 10 Responses Feb 2

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    xxsamelovexx xxsamelovexx 13-15, M 3 Responses Aug 5

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    When I'm bored I go to **** sites

    and write in the comments section: "Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your father and I are heartbroken." Kik: JustRyan21
    JustRyan JustRyan 18-21, M 9 Responses May 21

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    When you see a ice cream truck www.

    youtube.com/watch?v=64ULQCvz3BQ
    Potato4Life Potato4Life 16-17, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    My mom passed away a year ago

    and I make jokes about it because that's the only way I can deal with it! Yup I'm messed up! lol
    SuperLizLoves SuperLizLoves 18-21, F 29 Responses Jul 16

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    Nomad712 Nomad712 56-60, M 1 Response Aug 3

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    Curiousgirl1999 Curiousgirl1999 13-15, F 11 Responses Aug 24

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    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    IΒ laughed so hard atΒ this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 24 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    F0REVERY0UNG23 F0REVERY0UNG23 22-25, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    thelonerinyourbed thelonerinyourbed 70+, T 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I laugh at jokes about really bad stuff like:

    What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A Jew doesn't scream when it's put in an oven! See!? It's dark
    CooperakaGreeq CooperakaGreeq 13-15, M 4 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Gemz2411 Gemz2411 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    My sense of humour would be normal probably

    for an American but for a Finn I'm really really weird.
    80sRockLover 80sRockLover 22-25, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    A women and child was sitting across from me on

    the bus. The mother was ignoring the kid and texting, the child was jumping about and misbehaving. The kid then came over and shouted "Are you my daddy?" the mother looked up, I stared her in the eye and said "Probably"
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 10 Responses Apr 14

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    I got these cheeseburgers www.

    youtube.com/watch?v=H_4nupAxvNw
    Potato4Life Potato4Life 16-17, M 1 day ago

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    What's the difference between a drug dealer

    and a prostitute? ... The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again. Hahahahahahaha
    OverWorkedWoman OverWorkedWoman 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    LEMONrelishthemusic LEMONrelishthemusic 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Three (3) guys are walking down the street.

    Two (2) of them walk right into a bar. The third (3rd) one ducks. πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„
    That76Dude That76Dude 36-40, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    When there are no boundaries www.

    youtube.com/watch?v=4_QhF5HYdS4
    Potato4Life Potato4Life 16-17, M 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    Okay, okay so listen πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ He said: Books

    or me. I sometimes remember him when I'm buying new books. LOL. This is so freaking genius!
    2wrp 2wrp 13-15, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Seriously, my sense of humor is proof

    that nature and nurture work together. My family is the source of most of my humor.
    Here2Talk73 Here2Talk73 36-40, F 3 Responses 12 hrs ago