Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 142,656 People

    When people look at you

    and then all of a sudden, lick their lips... DARN YOU! I'M NOT EDIBLE, YOU CANNIBAL!
    TheMisanthropeOtaku TheMisanthropeOtaku 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What if the ice bucket challenge is a Catholic

    plot to baptize all nin-believers?
    nelby710 nelby710 18-21, F 35 Responses Sep 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Lovetocook44 Lovetocook44 51-55, M 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ok. So, this is very immature

    and classless and pretty hilarious all rolled into one! Tonight I taught my dog to raise his paw when asked "who farted?" He does it so good! Hahaha! He looks so silly! I'm still giggling....
    Femininewiles Femininewiles 26-30, F 21 Responses Dec 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    That moment when you`re trying to do hula hoop

    but you end up shaking your hips like Shakira wannabe. *sigh*
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If a girl says "First of all",

    run. There's never been a good "first of all". You've never heard a girl say "First of all, I'm gonna suck your ****". And you never will. "First of all" means that girl has done research, has data and her pie charts ready and you are done. xD
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 9 Responses Nov 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    *Boy sees girl crying* Boy: Whats wrong?

    girl: im scared youll sleep with another girl boy: i know i will..and she will call you mommy girl *giggles* i think you got it wrong silly boy: i know what i said
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 9 Responses Dec 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Duct tape can't fix stupidity

    but it can muffle its sound.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 12

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Bbybu Bbybu 22-25, F 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can

    go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 12 Responses Jan 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The past, the present

    and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 14 Responses Oct 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    For any installation,

    repair or replacement work in your home or business, you may contact any of the following nj contractors: roofing and windows services in nj, electrical services in nj, painting services in nj, plumbing services in nj, and cleaning services in nj.
    jackdison jackdison 22-25, M 9 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    pizzaislyfe pizzaislyfe 13-15, M 10 Responses Dec 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Coworker: how would you describe your sex life

    using only the title of a video game? Boss: left 4 dead Coworker 1: Sonic Me: mass effect Coworker 2: alone in the dark Coworker 3: .......... Goat simulator Lmao wtf 😂
    SkollHati SkollHati 18-21, M 12 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Guy Needs A Push (joke)

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 39 Responses Mar 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 10 Responses Aug 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "If I fart in my wallet,

    I'll have gas money." - my dad
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 11 Responses Aug 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Isn't it weird that we have one hand

    that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like "Idk to how to hold a pencil.." O.O
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 19 Responses Jan 1

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Mselisa Mselisa 18-21, F 6 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 41-45, M 9 Responses Feb 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's funny how up until around 14 years old

    "69" was just another number..
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 28 Responses Dec 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 24 Responses Sep 20, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm not even on drugs.

    I'm just weird.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Titanic be like : I nominate all passengers

    for the ice bucket challenge..
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 10 Responses Dec 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Real men EAT p#ssies,

    not ACT like them...
    AntonioV AntonioV 46-50, M 11 Responses Nov 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    5s0s 5s0s 16-17, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "No rest is worth anything.

    Except the rest that has been earned." Yes, quite an adourious task t moan about life, shout atyer wifi connection. Night all I deserve my rest.
    Sazzio Sazzio 26-30, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    smeckledorfed smeckledorfed 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney

    World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it’s like "excuse me, I’m working here."
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Cricket75 Cricket75 36-40, F 1 Response 16 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    SerSean SerSean 18-21, M 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why is youre sh*t pointed?

    otherwise youre butthole would close with a bang!
    XUD9 XUD9 18-21, M 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    hannahlulz hannahlulz 18-21, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    TheNeverendingLlama TheNeverendingLlama 18-21, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    We live in a society

    where pizza gets to your house before the police.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 11 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    You should look at the background

    before eating a corn dog.
    Lovetocook44 Lovetocook44 51-55, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    BOO! Why the hell do breaking news alerts only

    happen when I'm trying to watch Ellen on my day off?
    Stickboy1984 Stickboy1984 31-35, M 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 5 Responses Oct 31, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This is what happens

    when a little boy likes a girl: 
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I wonder if ancestry.

    com has ever been used as a dating site?
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M 12 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    mr8bitmonster mr8bitmonster 18-21, M 9 Responses Jan 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 62 Responses Jun 10, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just bought some shoes from my drug dealer.

    .. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day
    SkollHati SkollHati 18-21, M 7 Responses Dec 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "You know Moe, my mom

    once said something that really stuck with me. She said, 'Homer, you're a big disappointment,' and God bless her soul, she was really onto something." Homer Simpson
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Lmao!!! I was in the grocery store yesterday.

    OOH look! A new ketchup bottle with 25% extra, Cool! I took the stuff I was going to buy to the counter (keep in mind that the store was a huge one). I took a look around me and found some guy right behind me. He was shaking profusely so I just past it off as that he had...
    InnocentPigeon InnocentPigeon 70+ 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Girls be like: Dear god please send me a man

    that is beautiful, caring, romantic, loving, understanding, a man passionate, who would never cheat on me, always gives me compliments and never criticizes what me and my friends do. Thank you God! And when you do, I'll totally leave him in THE FRIENDZONE. .-.
    CalderReed CalderReed 13-15, M 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian

      An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..  She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 71 Responses Feb 28, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel
    anonamanda001 anonamanda001 16-17, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My male friend went to doctors the other day to

    ask what's the best treatment for baldness. The doctor said "I have the same problem and the best thing is female love juices". My friend looked at the doctor and replied "but doctor,you are balder than me"?. Doctor looked and said to my friend "but you must admit,I have one...
    sarah696969 sarah696969 31-35, F 8 Responses Sep 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    20 years ago we had Johnny cash,

    bob hope, and Steve jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs. Please... Never let Kevin bacon die..
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 7 Responses Dec 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was hanging out with a guy

    who seemed to be really into me, we were at a park sitting on a bench. He said "scoot closer, you're too far away" & I replied "why don't you just come over here and sit on daddy's lap ;)" he didn't think it was funny and asked me never to say that again. If you can't laugh when...
    rangek rangek 18-21, F 40 Responses Jul 16, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Do you ever notice that

    when you are ignoring a phone call, the phone seems to ring longer than usual
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 21 Responses Jan 8

    Your Response

    Cancel