Post

I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 127,778 People

    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian

      An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..  She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 67 Responses Feb 28, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel
    desitor desitor 16-17, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "I had a dream about you.

    " "Awww..." "Yeah, you died."
    SuicidalSilence SuicidalSilence 13-15 5 Responses Jan 10

    Your Response

    Cancel
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 3 Responses 1 hr ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I love meme style humor

    and so does my best friend :D it makes me laugh for hours!
    CinnamonSmoothy CinnamonSmoothy 13-15, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everyone seems to be normal

    until you see their browser history.
    Rinkika Rinkika 22-25, F 27 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was hanging out with a guy

    who seemed to be really into me, we were at a park sitting on a bench. He said "scoot closer, you're too far away" & I replied "why don't you just come over here and sit on daddy's lap ;)" he didn't think it was funny and asked me never to say that again. If you can't laugh when...
    rangek rangek 18-21, F 41 Responses Jul 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There's a fine line between fishing

    and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot -S. Wright
    JoeGogg JoeGogg 36-40, M 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hahahahhaah

    HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA Lol im sooooo bored hahahahaahhaha
    Ashey16 Ashey16 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 27 Responses Aug 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 5 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Are the people who made "Turn Down For What"

    going to make sequel 'songs' like "Turn Down For When", "Turn Down For Who", "Turn Down For Why", "Turn Down for Where", or "Turn Down for How"?
    DestinyEvelyn DestinyEvelyn 18-21, T 3 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My mom passed away a year ago

    and I make jokes about it because that's the only way I can deal with it! Yup I'm messed up! lol
    SuperLizLoves SuperLizLoves 18-21, F 28 Responses Jul 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    People say you should treat other people the

    way you'd like them to treat you. And I guess that's true. Unless you're a masochist. I don't think that's a good idea! xD
    MissClueless MissClueless 16-17, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Do not read or scroll down first!

    !!!! WOMEN! Is it true? :( Do we men always have s3x on our minds? Is this all you think about us?? *makes a sad face* OK! B4 scrolling down, put yer hand over yer heart n ask... "Do men always have s3x thoughts?? Now take a deep breath... N scroll down...
    Sazzio Sazzio 22-25, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My friends and I have the weirdest inside-jokes.

    If anyone ever heard what we joke about we'd be locked in a mental asylum for sure!
    channy205 channy205 16-17, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    emjagrace emjagrace 13-15, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A women and child was sitting across from me on

    the bus. The mother was ignoring the kid and texting, the child was jumping about and misbehaving. The kid then came over and shouted "Are you my daddy?" the mother looked up, I stared her in the eye and said "Probably"
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 10 Responses Apr 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 41-45, M 10 Responses Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't understand the weather here.

    First it's hot, then it's cold. It's yes, then it's no. It's in, then it's out. It's up, then it's down. Damn it, Katy Perry!
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 2 Responses 15 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There's a guy who asked me " do you pleasure

    yourself ? " And I was like : yeah ... by eating Him : it wasn't what I meant but ok Me : that's the point HAHAH I AM WEIRD 👅🙏
    Flowerydedo Flowerydedo 16-17, F 7 Responses Aug 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 8 Responses Aug 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A pregnant woman gets into a car accident

    and goes into a coma. After nearly six months, she wakes up to find that she is no longer pregnant.Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.The doctor replies, "You had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."The woman...
    RedOctagon RedOctagon 22-25, F 10 Responses 20 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I laugh at everything

    and I don't know why when I watch horror movies I tend to laugh at the super scary scenes.:) ps:I love horror movies!! To me the conjuring was not that scary but I jumped at a few parts and I kinda smiled:) god I'm so weird~ >_<
    mysticazal mysticazal 13-15, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Rose (from Titanic) be like- I nominate Jack

    for the Ice Bucket Challenge..
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 6 Responses Aug 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have a morbid sense of humor,

    which tends to scare away people.
    zed2223 zed2223 18-21, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The guy next door just challenged me to a water

    balloon fight..so I thought I'd just post this as I wait for the water to boil
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 9 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Today I found this story on reddit in the

    subreddit tifu (today I ****** up) Thought it was funny and decided to share, enjoy. This morning at the gas station a cute guy got out the car in front of us and I said 'ohhhh', my daughter looked up from her book and had the same reaction. I asked her if she could tell that...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I wonder how police on bikes arrest people .

    . "Alright, get in the basket" Oh well.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 11 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I'm bored and in need of a giggle,

    I love reading those "damn you auto correct, parents shouldn't text, and wrong number text" sites...I truly hope a lot of those are real and not fakes as some are just hilarious!
    Bullbuddy Bullbuddy 31-35, M 3 Responses 3 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "If I fart in my wallet,

    I'll have gas money." - my dad
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 11 Responses Aug 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A man received message from his neighbor.

    . Sorry sir I am using your wife. I am using day and night, I am using when you are not present at home, Infact I am using more than YOU are using, I confess this because now I feel very much guilty, Hope You will accept my sincere apologies!! Man went home and had a big fight...
    Allwaysthink825 Allwaysthink825 22-25, F 14 Responses Mar 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 66 Responses Jun 10, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two Mischievous Brothers (joke)

    Found this on Stumbleupon... thought it was cute. Two Mischievous Brothers Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The...
    deleted deleted 26-30 21 Responses Nov 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Life is like toilet paper.

    You're either on a roll or you're taking **** from some *******.
    Nomad712 Nomad712 56-60, M Aug 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What if you started making car alarm noises

    when people you didn’t like touched you.
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 15 Responses Jul 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hahaha sexting fail! Idk

    where my sis saw this but I almost pissed myself laughing... Guy: hey Girl : hey Guy: wud Girl: laying in bed Guy: just that? Really? Aren't you doing anything else? Girl: I'm eating cereal Guy: what would you do if I was in bed with you right now? Girl: eat my cereal Guy...
    kittykat6918 kittykat6918 16-17, F 9 Responses Aug 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's hard to make people laugh

    when they don't understand your sense of humour
    LouiseeMurrayy LouiseeMurrayy 16-17, F 4 Responses 16 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    xxsamelovexx xxsamelovexx 13-15, M 3 Responses Aug 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Is This Joke Funny Or Is It Just Me?

    A young man began his career as a magician on a cruise ship. Vital to his act was his pet parrot - the bird would always steal his act by giving away the trick, “the card is up his sleeve” or “he hid the dove in his pocket.” This always got a great laugh from the audience...
    deleted deleted 26-30 22 Responses Jan 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If I worked at a restaurant on Valentines Day

    I'd put a fake engagement ring in every glass so that I can watch the girl go crazy with excitement while the dudes sitting there going...uh oh
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 10 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Today as I was out driving I saw a young man

    walking on the sidewalk and twirling a bow staff. I started laughing so hard. I wonder if his gf appreciates his skills?
    FM10 FM10 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Curiousgirl1999 Curiousgirl1999 13-15, F 11 Responses Aug 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Nomad712 Nomad712 56-60, M 1 Response Aug 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The only way to understand me

    and whether my humor is real or horrifying is to look at me in living color. I joke a lot and tell horror stories for fun. It always ends with a smile but you can't see that smile at the end of my line on the internet, can you?
    champ4life07 champ4life07 51-55, M 1 Response 23 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 4 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm in my 50's. After seeing the Celtic Women

    show I told my then wife "Let's go home and make some grandbabies"
    CreMan55 CreMan55 56-60, M 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I went to community taco.

    night. I am a young Grandma. I saw my granddaughter at the tavern. We sat outside under the big oaks and talked casually. She told me how her new school year is going. 9th grade is High school in our town. My granddaughter tells she got mad at school and told a boy she wished...
    MCK21 MCK21 46-50, F 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What if the ice bucket challenge is a Catholic

    plot to baptize all nin-believers?
    nelby710 nelby710 18-21, F 36 Responses Sep 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    That's How Things Are Done Around Here

    Ever asked yourself why we continue to do what we are doing if there is a different way out there?A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas on the top. Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the...
    juliana9 juliana9 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 15, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I'm bored I go to **** sites

    and write in the comments section: "Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your father and I are heartbroken." Kik: JustRyan21
    JustRyan JustRyan 18-21, M 9 Responses May 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Guy Needs A Push (joke)

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 42 Responses Mar 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 24 Responses Sep 20, 2011