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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 121,567 People

    I laughed really hard,

    to the point of tears, watching the "iD Gum" commercial with the eagle in it, when it caws! Every time. I don't know why!
    RedOctagon RedOctagon 22-25, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    Rose (from Titanic) be like- I nominate Jack

    for the Ice Bucket Challenge..
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 6 Responses Aug 21

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    all i have to say is yes

    because this is literally me ^
    PeaceAndLove1 PeaceAndLove1 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I swear when I'm joking,

    people think I'm being serious. But when I'm being serious, they think I'm joking. Screw logic.
    Zephyix Zephyix 13-15, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I laugh at alot of things

    even though others think they are not funny at all sometimes it is really terrible
    anestacia anestacia 16-17, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    Guy Needs A Push (joke)

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 42 Responses Mar 28, 2012

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    Misadventured Misadventured 18-21, F 6 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    There's a guy who asked me " do you pleasure

    yourself ? " And I was like : yeah ... by eating Him : it wasn't what I meant but ok Me : that's the point HAHAH I AM WEIRD 👅🙏
    Flowerydedo Flowerydedo 16-17, F 7 Responses Aug 24

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    A man received message from his neighbor.

    . Sorry sir I am using your wife. I am using day and night, I am using when you are not present at home, Infact I am using more than YOU are using, I confess this because now I feel very much guilty, Hope You will accept my sincere apologies!! Man went home and had a big fight...
    Allwaysthink825 Allwaysthink825 22-25, F 14 Responses Mar 1

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    Two Mischievous Brothers (joke)

    Found this on Stumbleupon... thought it was cute. Two Mischievous Brothers Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The...
    deleted deleted 26-30 21 Responses Nov 3, 2011

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    GALILEO: Great mind. EINSTEIN: Genius mind.

    NEWTON: Extraordinary mind. BILL GATES: Brilliant mind. ME: NEVER MIND. Lol. Just read this somewhere and just thought of sharing this to everyone here. =)
    JustOrdinaryGirl JustOrdinaryGirl 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    So as long as I have lived

    where I currently am, there has been this old guy who bikes past a couple times a week. This is the very first time I have not heard him ranting and raving as he went past. I have never been able to figure out if he had on a Bluetooth, was crazy or just weird. Because just now...
    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    A burglar broke into a house one night.

    He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when he heard a voice in the dark say 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit he shook his head and continued. Just as he...
    drs0307 drs0307 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 26

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    you cant make someone fall in love with you.

    ..you can only stalk them and hope for the best
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 7 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    My friend was drinking milk,

    so I opened my eyes really wide, got nose to nose with him and said with a squeaky voice: "Don't choke cause if you choke you die!!!!!!! O-O" milk. Was. Everywhere. Haha
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I always laugh at other peoples embarrassing

    moments, and random things, like people adding an extra letter to a word, heard it when i was in primary school, and laughed so hard for a few minutes.
    Elle2002 Elle2002 16-17, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 24 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    Faiithh Faiithh 16-17, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    What is something that no one reads

    but is forced to accept? Terms and Conditions
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    It's not mine but it's awesome just my level of

    humor. "What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical qustion?"
    deltaqu deltaqu 31-35, M 3 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Every time I watch a zombie movie

    or play a zombie game, anything that involves blood and guts, I want to eat something squishy and drink Koolaid out of my skull cup. I also tend to put the strawberry ice cream on the top cause I like to pretend I'm eating brains. Mmmm grey matter
    ThatRobotChick ThatRobotChick 18-21, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I worked at a gas station

    for a little over a year and in that time I got to know everybody within a 20 miles radius. All on different schedules than one another but for me, always on time- coffee, cigarettes, whatever. There was this kid Sean, I believe he had cerebral palsy, he was in a wheelchair and...
    sunkern sunkern 18-21, M 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 11 Responses 4 days ago

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    I was hanging out with a guy

    who seemed to be really into me, we were at a park sitting on a bench. He said "scoot closer, you're too far away" & I replied "why don't you just come over here and sit on daddy's lap ;)" he didn't think it was funny and asked me never to say that again. If you can't laugh when...
    rangek rangek 18-21, F 43 Responses Jul 16

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    Stalking is all fun and games

    until you accidentally "like" an old picture
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    I can make really conceited jokes,

    even though I'm far from conceited. My jokes can even be kind of rude, I'm sarcastic almost all of the time, and I dislike the fact that when someone hears one of my jokes, whether it be conceited, sexual, or rude, they automatically think that I must have no friends because of...
    lunalancing lunalancing 16-17, F 1 day ago

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    This is a stupid joke

    that I've loved since Kindergarden. Once there was a kid named Butt-iches. The kid just moved to a new town and started a new school. Teacher: Class this is our new student, what's your name? The boy replies "My name is Butt-iches". The teacher is shocked and asks again...
    ThatRobotChick ThatRobotChick 18-21, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 1 day ago

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    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 27 Responses 6 days ago

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    "My teacher pointed me with her ruler

    and said, "at the end of this ruler there is an idiot!" I got detention after asking which one." Happy Teacher Appreciation week educators!
    iEPeace iEPeace 26-30, F 7 Responses May 6

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    xxsamelovexx xxsamelovexx 13-15, M 3 Responses Aug 5

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    A women and child was sitting across from me on

    the bus. The mother was ignoring the kid and texting, the child was jumping about and misbehaving. The kid then came over and shouted "Are you my daddy?" the mother looked up, I stared her in the eye and said "Probably"
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 10 Responses Apr 14

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    "If my *** looked as good

    as your face, I'd be proud to moon people." - Me, jokingly flirting
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Curiousgirl1999 Curiousgirl1999 13-15, F 10 Responses Aug 24

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    What has no thumbs, a long tounge

    and likes to touch himself? My dog.
    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    Is This Joke Funny Or Is It Just Me?

    A young man began his career as a magician on a cruise ship. Vital to his act was his pet parrot - the bird would always steal his act by giving away the trick, “the card is up his sleeve” or “he hid the dove in his pocket.” This always got a great laugh from the audience...
    deleted deleted 26-30 22 Responses Jan 2, 2012

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    It's really dry and caustic,

    sometimes self- depreciating. Most people don't understand my sense of humor.
    ajrestless ajrestless 18-21, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    Why did Sally fall off the swing?

    .... Because she had no arms. Knock knock .... Who's there? .... ...... Well Not Sally!
    Gdb0 Gdb0 36-40, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    That's How Things Are Done Around Here

    Ever asked yourself why we continue to do what we are doing if there is a different way out there?A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas on the top. Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the...
    juliana9 juliana9 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    "I had a dream about you.

    " "Awww..." "Yeah, you died."
    SuicidalSilence SuicidalSilence 13-15 5 Responses Jan 10

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    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 65 Responses Jun 10, 2010

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    My mom passed away a year ago

    and I make jokes about it because that's the only way I can deal with it! Yup I'm messed up! lol
    SuperLizLoves SuperLizLoves 18-21, F 31 Responses Jul 16

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    I love "trolling" (which has a lot of

    definitions, from playful playing to serious harrassment, I do the first said) and I love really short, stupid kinda words. I know right, weirddd xD Here's an example of both combined. Notice the stupidity of the question combined with short words making a trolling question :)
    LindavdB LindavdB 13-15, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    What if you started making car alarm noises

    when people you didn’t like touched you.
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 14 Responses Jul 7

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    Hahaha sexting fail! Idk

    where my sis saw this but I almost pissed myself laughing... Guy: hey Girl : hey Guy: wud Girl: laying in bed Guy: just that? Really? Aren't you doing anything else? Girl: I'm eating cereal Guy: what would you do if I was in bed with you right now? Girl: eat my cereal Guy...
    kittykat6918 kittykat6918 13-15, F 10 Responses Aug 17

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    "If I fart in my wallet,

    I'll have gas money." - my dad
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 11 Responses Aug 7

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    I came up to my friend

    and yelled "expect, the unexpected!!!!! 0-0" then slapped him. He said "now what was that for?" I said "did you expect it? No? You have failed me" *backs away slowly*
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    Ya... I always laugh

    when people die in movies
    helloworldsecretunicorn helloworldsecretunicorn 13-15 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Life is like toilet paper.

    You're either on a roll or you're taking **** from some *******.
    Nomad712 Nomad712 56-60, M Aug 3

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    I often wonder when you get accupuncture is

    there a voodoo doll screaming in an alternate universe.?
    Songbird35 Songbird35 31-35, F 11 Responses Aug 19

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    Nomad712 Nomad712 56-60, M 1 Response Aug 3

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    So I made a joke on one of theses,

    do vampires get STDs? And have made several others since then. However the vampire post has received the most comments amd hearts than just about any other one I've made. Why? Is it the vampires or the mention of sex, even the barest mention of it?
    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Women always call ugly

    until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 3 Responses 12 hrs ago

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