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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 127,106 People

    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    What do you call a sleepwalking Nun?

    ........ A Romin' Catholic ..... lol I don't know why this made me laugh so much
    jazsag19 jazsag19 16-17, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 9 Responses Aug 28

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    So, recently, my school finally gave in to the

    district and the students are supposed to wear I.D.'s on a lanyard around their necks. But me..? No..I'm different..I'm a freakin rebel.
    Justjonathan Justjonathan 16-17, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    thelonerinyourbed thelonerinyourbed 70+, T 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    A man received message from his neighbor.

    . Sorry sir I am using your wife. I am using day and night, I am using when you are not present at home, Infact I am using more than YOU are using, I confess this because now I feel very much guilty, Hope You will accept my sincere apologies!! Man went home and had a big fight...
    Allwaysthink825 Allwaysthink825 22-25, F 14 Responses Mar 1

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    There's a fine line between fishing

    and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot -S. Wright
    JoeGogg JoeGogg 36-40, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    There's a guy who asked me " do you pleasure

    yourself ? " And I was like : yeah ... by eating Him : it wasn't what I meant but ok Me : that's the point HAHAH I AM WEIRD 👅🙏
    Flowerydedo Flowerydedo 16-17, F 7 Responses Aug 24

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    Nomad712 Nomad712 56-60, M 1 Response Aug 3

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    Today I found this story on reddit in the

    subreddit tifu (today I ****** up) Thought it was funny and decided to share, enjoy. This morning at the gas station a cute guy got out the car in front of us and I said 'ohhhh', my daughter looked up from her book and had the same reaction. I asked her if she could tell that...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 1 day ago

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    I don't trust Joggers.

    They are always the ones that find the dead bodies. I'm no detective.. Just saying.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    "I had a dream about you.

    " "Awww..." "Yeah, you died."
    SuicidalSilence SuicidalSilence 13-15 5 Responses Jan 10

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    Dayman0x Dayman0x 22-25, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I often wonder when you get accupuncture is

    there a voodoo doll screaming in an alternate universe.?
    Songbird35 Songbird35 31-35, F 11 Responses Aug 19

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    People say you should treat other people the

    way you'd like them to treat you. And I guess that's true. Unless you're a masochist. I don't think that's a good idea! xD
    MissClueless MissClueless 16-17, F 3 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    When I'm bored I go to **** sites

    and write in the comments section: "Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your father and I are heartbroken." Kik: JustRyan21
    JustRyan JustRyan 18-21, M 9 Responses May 21

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    "If I fart in my wallet,

    I'll have gas money." - my dad
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 11 Responses Aug 7

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    Rose (from Titanic) be like- I nominate Jack

    for the Ice Bucket Challenge..
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 6 Responses Aug 21

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    I often do stupid things

    for the entertainment of others. This is especially true when I'm bored. I find that boredom enhances my stupidity. Once, when I was really bored, I had my dad shoot me with my Airsoft Shotgun while the neighbor girl filmed it.
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    A women and child was sitting across from me on

    the bus. The mother was ignoring the kid and texting, the child was jumping about and misbehaving. The kid then came over and shouted "Are you my daddy?" the mother looked up, I stared her in the eye and said "Probably"
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 10 Responses Apr 14

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    Perfect substitute for "I don't care"- "I

    frankly could not give a frog's fat ***". XD
    KittyKatLuvsYhu KittyKatLuvsYhu 13-15, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Hahahahhaah

    HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA Lol im sooooo bored hahahahaahhaha
    Ashey16 Ashey16 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 27, 2013

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    I laugh at jokes about really bad stuff like:

    What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A Jew doesn't scream when it's put in an oven! See!? It's dark
    CooperakaGreeq CooperakaGreeq 13-15, M 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    What if the ice bucket challenge is a Catholic

    plot to baptize all nin-believers?
    nelby710 nelby710 18-21, F 37 Responses a week ago

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    "Hmm? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.

    All my brain blood was in my b*ner."- Jack Black in Year One   
    LEMONrelishthemusic LEMONrelishthemusic 18-21, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 24 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    seeing people die with blood in a movie is

    always funny to me ^_^ im sorry to ally friends 0.0
    TheRainbowDino TheRainbowDino 13-15, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 6 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 27 Responses Aug 26

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    Two Mischievous Brothers (joke)

    Found this on Stumbleupon... thought it was cute. Two Mischievous Brothers Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The...
    deleted deleted 26-30 21 Responses Nov 3, 2011

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    I wonder how police on bikes arrest people .

    . "Alright, get in the basket" Oh well.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    That's How Things Are Done Around Here

    Ever asked yourself why we continue to do what we are doing if there is a different way out there?A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas on the top. Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the...
    juliana9 juliana9 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Curiousgirl1999 Curiousgirl1999 13-15, F 11 Responses Aug 24

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    What's the difference between a drug dealer

    and a prostitute? ... The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again. Hahahahahahaha
    OverWorkedWoman OverWorkedWoman 18-21, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 66 Responses Jun 10, 2010

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    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm in my 50's. After seeing the Celtic Women

    show I told my then wife "Let's go home and make some grandbabies"
    CreMan55 CreMan55 56-60, M 20 hrs ago

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    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 41-45, M 10 Responses Feb 2

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    A burglar broke into a house one night.

    He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when he heard a voice in the dark say 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit he shook his head and continued. Just as he...
    drs0307 drs0307 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 26

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    xxsamelovexx xxsamelovexx 13-15, M 3 Responses Aug 5

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    My mom passed away a year ago

    and I make jokes about it because that's the only way I can deal with it! Yup I'm messed up! lol
    SuperLizLoves SuperLizLoves 18-21, F 28 Responses Jul 16

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    emjagrace emjagrace 13-15, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I laugh at everything

    and I don't know why when I watch horror movies I tend to laugh at the super scary scenes.:) ps:I love horror movies!! To me the conjuring was not that scary but I jumped at a few parts and I kinda smiled:) god I'm so weird~ >_<
    mysticazal mysticazal 13-15, F 3 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Are the people who made "Turn Down For What"

    going to make sequel 'songs' like "Turn Down For When", "Turn Down For Who", "Turn Down For Why", "Turn Down for Where", or "Turn Down for How"?
    DestinyEvelyn DestinyEvelyn 18-21, T 1 Response 27 mins ago

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    My friends and I have the weirdest inside-jokes.

    If anyone ever heard what we joke about we'd be locked in a mental asylum for sure!
    channy205 channy205 16-17, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Is This Joke Funny Or Is It Just Me?

    A young man began his career as a magician on a cruise ship. Vital to his act was his pet parrot - the bird would always steal his act by giving away the trick, “the card is up his sleeve” or “he hid the dove in his pocket.” This always got a great laugh from the audience...
    deleted deleted 26-30 22 Responses Jan 2, 2012

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    Leave it to Apple to come out with a I watch,

    they came out with I tunes, I pad, I phone, I pod. It would not surprise me if they come out ( and working on it) with an ocular implant and wind up calling it I eye
    AlysonAnnaD AlysonAnnaD 18-21, F 4 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    I went to community taco.

    night. I am a young Grandma. I saw my granddaughter at the tavern. We sat outside under the big oaks and talked casually. She told me how her new school year is going. 9th grade is High school in our town. My granddaughter tells she got mad at school and told a boy she wished...
    MCK21 MCK21 46-50, F 1 Response 16 hrs ago

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    I was hanging out with a guy

    who seemed to be really into me, we were at a park sitting on a bench. He said "scoot closer, you're too far away" & I replied "why don't you just come over here and sit on daddy's lap ;)" he didn't think it was funny and asked me never to say that again. If you can't laugh when...
    rangek rangek 18-21, F 42 Responses Jul 16

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    Guy Needs A Push (joke)

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 42 Responses Mar 28, 2012

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    What if you started making car alarm noises

    when people you didn’t like touched you.
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 15 Responses Jul 7

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    Shoulder riding. Having someone sitting on your

    shoulders with their legs wrapped round you in the small of your back is an unusual experience but a pleasant one.It has happened to me several times,but the most interesting one was several years ago,this lady rode on my back several times,she treated me as her horse and in...
    charles678 charles678 70+, M 2 days ago

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    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian

      An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..  She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 67 Responses Feb 28, 2010