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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 150,100 People

    "It's okay to crack your knuckles,

    just don't knuckle your crack." - Larry The Cable Guy
    biggunsatx biggunsatx 41-45, M 3 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    gymrat1997 gymrat1997 16-17, M 23 hrs ago

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    http://content-img.experienceproject.

    com/1429738110Toplv8-i.jpgIt works no matter what I do with it 
    HelterSkelter1 HelterSkelter1 22-25, M 4 days ago

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    Giggles. I just had to share this one.

    I was sitting here when I heard the words to this song on TV. It had me laughing and of course I had to look up the whole song. I find it absolutely hilarious. Hehe Singing it now..... He was stone cold dead in the market....*jiggy dance. Lolol. https://m.youtube.com...
    snowberry75 snowberry75 36-40, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I laugh at worst situation

    and serious at happy moments ohh y....
    yhasi yhasi 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    how I clean my room: -starts at one

    corner -finds something from 6 years ago and stares at it nostalgically for 5 hours -goes to bed
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 9 Responses Jan 26

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    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M 2 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    BiFurZak BiFurZak 22-25, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I never use the phrase,

    "Your guess is as good as mine" because, well... it's not.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 6 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    HeyyMrsCarter HeyyMrsCarter 22-25, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    I doubt Vodka is the answer,

    but it's worth a shot
    VeganSoChic VeganSoChic 22-25, F 16 Responses Feb 26

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    Two reporters talking: „Anyway,

    they were building the lower level on the George Washington Bridge, and we were doing a remote there. Except nobody told me! ...ten after seven in the morning I get a call "Where the hell are you? You're supposed to be on the George Washington Bridge!" I jump out of bed, throw...
    KimKarlsson KimKarlsson 16-17, M 6 days ago

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    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 12 Responses Jan 25

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    It's funny how up until around 14 years old

    "69" was just another number..
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 27 Responses Dec 8, 2014

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    Do you ever notice that

    when you are ignoring a phone call, the phone seems to ring longer than usual
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 20 Responses Jan 8

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    *Boy sees girl crying* Boy: Whats wrong?

    girl: im scared youll sleep with another girl boy: i know i will..and she will call you mommy girl *giggles* i think you got it wrong silly boy: i know what i said
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 9 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    I'm the type of girl

    who bursts out laughing randomly at things you won't find nearly as hilarious as I do.
    Angieinthewonderland Angieinthewonderland 18-21, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 61 Responses Jun 10, 2010

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    Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can

    go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 14 Responses Jan 23

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    They say that love is more important

    than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
    RedThatDescribesMe RedThatDescribesMe 18-21, F 6 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Years ago a girlfriend's father was OCD.

    For Christmas I gave him a label maker, her family still hates me for that.
    Ulfhednar74 Ulfhednar74 36-40, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    You know I can handle Wednesday,

    just please get this camel out of my office.
    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I gave a girl my number

    and told her to call me when she gets home.. ... ... ... ... She must be homeless.
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 12 Responses Mar 9

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    Duct tape can't fix stupidity

    but it can muffle its sound.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 11 Responses Jan 12

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    I just bought some shoes from my drug dealer.

    .. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day
    SkollHati SkollHati 18-21, M 7 Responses Dec 1, 2014

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    My male friend went to doctors the other day to

    ask what's the best treatment for baldness. The doctor said "I have the same problem and the best thing is female love juices". My friend looked at the doctor and replied "but doctor,you are balder than me"?. Doctor looked and said to my friend "but you must admit,I have one...
    Shellster69 Shellster69 31-35, F 11 Responses Sep 26, 2014

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    If a girl says "First of all",

    run. There's never been a good "first of all". You've never heard a girl say "First of all, I'm gonna suck your ****". And you never will. "First of all" means that girl has done research, has data and her pie charts ready and you are done. xD
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 9 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    Your call is very important to us.

    Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 19 Responses Mar 9

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    Next time your at a ATM withdrawing money.

    When it gives you your money ,start yelling 'I WON" I WON"!!!
    Hiddenheart101 Hiddenheart101 56-60, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 9 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    Isn't it weird that we have one hand

    that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like "Idk to how to hold a pencil.." O.O
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 19 Responses Jan 1

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    I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to

    go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 8 Responses Mar 3

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    I was hanging out with a guy

    who seemed to be really into me, we were at a park sitting on a bench. He said "scoot closer, you're too far away" & I replied "why don't you just come over here and sit on daddy's lap ;)" he didn't think it was funny and asked me never to say that again. If you can't laugh when...
    rangek rangek 18-21, F 37 Responses Jul 16, 2014

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    sometimes I am the only one laughing

    and it makes me feel weird
    energymustmove energymustmove 18-21, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    I have never kissed a midget,

    I don't think I could stoop that low.
    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I told my GF to be happy!

    Just be loud. Express yourself whenever possible, whatever occassion. She thought and thought and thought... *That evening* so, here I am at my party with my fam and guests. My GF's in the distance, with her close friends. Then she shouts, unsually loud. "Sazzio! Sazzio!" I wave...
    Sazzio Sazzio 26-30, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    This. Is. Epic. https://www.

    youtube.com/watch?v=wjN8cKWwbpc
    astrokitty4341 astrokitty4341 22-25, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    That horrible moment

    when you have no toilet paper and you scream for some and your brother brings you newspaper flavored with pepper spray. He has a mean and weird sense of humour.
    hindustaniberawem hindustaniberawem 16-17, M 1 day ago

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    Fifty shades of Grey is only considered romantic

    because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal Minds episode.
    VeganSoChic VeganSoChic 22-25, F 43 Responses Feb 27

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    So I am listening to two supervisors talk in my

    place of work, and the one is discussing building a house, the other says are you building a new house ? I thought of Bill Engvall _ Here's your sign.
    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 1 Response 42 mins ago

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    Despite the old saying,

    "Don't take your troubles to bed with you." many women still sleep with their husbands. LOL (jokes)
    HeyyMrsCarter HeyyMrsCarter 22-25, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    mr8bitmonster mr8bitmonster 18-21, M 7 Responses Jan 20

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    My girlfriend just left me.

    The fact that she's imaginary makes it worse.
    AgentSean AgentSean 18-21, M 18 Responses Mar 12

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    Normal people flirting: Hey you're cute we

    should go out sometime Me trying to flirt: So.... do you like bread?.... ~.~
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 27 Responses Mar 14

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