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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 170,599 People

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    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 25 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    I don't know today I read this book about this

    EMO guy and now I can't help but think "I want an EMO boyfriend or bestfriend" 😂😳??
    dyingflower16 dyingflower16 16-17, F Jan 28

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    Duct tape can't fix stupidity

    but it can muffle its sound.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 10 Responses Jan 12, 2015

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    Most of my jokes fall flat with people.

    I suppose that's because I don't find sexual and offensive jokes amusing and don't use them. Because of that, I kinda prefer pranks. I actually "Tigger bounced" one of my friends, scared him half to death.
    Machina24 Machina24 18-21, M 5 Responses a week ago

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    I doubt Vodka is the answer,

    but it's worth a shot
    CestLaVegan CestLaVegan 26-30, F 12 Responses Feb 26, 2015

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    Fifty shades of Grey is only considered romantic

    because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal Minds episode.
    CestLaVegan CestLaVegan 26-30, F 30 Responses Feb 27, 2015

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    JustBipolarMe JustBipolarMe 46-50, M 6 days ago

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    bigunsatx bigunsatx 36-40, M 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    You can't argue with a sick mind.

    You can tune a piano,but you can't tuna fish.But,seriously.
    Pablo56692112 Pablo56692112 56-60, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Do you wanna hear a pizza joke?

    - - - Never mind, it's pretty cheesy.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 12 Responses Jan 11, 2015

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    twerkingnarwhals twerkingnarwhals 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    I lost my teeth in a bike accident

    while impressing someone!!!!
    fahad7khan fahad7khan 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 30

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    Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell

    you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't...
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Mar 13, 2015

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    Your call is very important to us.

    Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 16 Responses Mar 9, 2015

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    To do is to be - Nietzsche To be is to do -

    Kant Do be do be do - Sinatra D'oh - Simpson
    WhereIsMyBeard WhereIsMyBeard 26-30, T 5 days ago

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    Mooresville Mooresville 13-15, M 3 hrs ago

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    Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can

    go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 23, 2015

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    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian

      An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..  She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 77 Responses Feb 28, 2010

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    My girlfriend just left me.

    The fact that she's imaginary makes it worse.
    deleted deleted 26-30 17 Responses Mar 12, 2015

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    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 10 Responses Jan 25, 2015

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    Beer: Making guys think

    that they can dance for centuries.
    usedandabused73 usedandabused73 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 29

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    iCuriousBabe iCuriousBabe 41-45, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to

    go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 3, 2015

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    20 years ago we had Johnny cash,

    bob hope, and Steve jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs. Please... Never let Kevin bacon die..
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    We live in a society

    where pizza gets to your house before the police.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 9 Responses Jan 28, 2015

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    stomach mad, butthole sad I thought of this

    after I ate a hotdog for dinner and got rlly bad poop
    goodatnothing goodatnothing 18-21, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Hey guys x) Why'd Sally fall off the swing?

    Cause she had no arms!! Knock knock Who's there? Not sally you selfish arm having bastard ! My dad told me this and i laugh so hard just thinking about it hahahaha
    MaeEmlynn MaeEmlynn 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 28

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    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 59 Responses Jun 10, 2010

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    bigunsatx bigunsatx 36-40, M 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    Isn't it weird that we have one hand

    that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like "Idk to how to hold a pencil.." O.O
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 17 Responses Jan 1, 2015

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    usedandabused73 usedandabused73 41-45, M 7 Responses Jan 27

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    I'm just.. gonna leave this here.

    . http://iwritebadfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/55838401974/blue
    Brothergoro Brothergoro 18-21 1 Response Jan 26

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    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 11 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    JustBipolarMe JustBipolarMe 46-50, M 4 Responses Jan 29

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    Another hookup hazard

    that we could learn from: When considering on saying 'Yes' to a match, never assume that a generous-sized c*ck doesn't come with an annoyingly humongous d*ckhead.
    iCuriousBabe iCuriousBabe 41-45, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Do you ever notice that

    when you are ignoring a phone call, the phone seems to ring longer than usual
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 18 Responses Jan 8, 2015

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    How to make tea like a pro: 1: Put water in the

    kettle 2: Put kettle on the stove and turn on the burner 3: Instantly forget you're making tea and wander off to do other things. 4: Realize that the random whistling coming from across the house is the tea kettle 5: PANIC 6: Run across the house as fast as you can and...
    Ztun7856 Ztun7856 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 26

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    I'm thinking about changing the brand of

    bottled water I drink. I really need to start stepping outside of my comfort zone.
    Mooresville Mooresville 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 28

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    IS THIS NOT HOW EVERY YOUTUBE STORYTIME VIDEO

    LOOKS LMAOO also I will be posting a satirical storytime probably tomorrow or Friday so yeah stay posted and pls subscribe to my channel https://youtu.be/R2s3faOLvN0
    yukongoldpotato yukongoldpotato 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 28

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    I know a word that starts with F

    and ends with UCK. Firetruck.
    czen czen 26-30, M Jan 27

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    It's funny how up until around 14 years old

    "69" was just another number..
    akaShaun akaShaun 18-21, M 26 Responses Dec 8, 2014

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    Normal people flirting: Hey you're cute we

    should go out sometime Me trying to flirt: So.... do you like bread?.... ~.~
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 25 Responses Mar 14, 2015

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    Geekjunk Geekjunk 18-21, M 6 Responses Jan 20, 2015

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    Squatlife Squatlife 18-21, F 4 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    xkmb xkmb 56-60 1 Response Jan 28

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