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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 170,905 People

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    bigunsatx bigunsatx 36-40, M 4 Responses Feb 3

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    I do . I will laugh at the craziest things ,

    and stuff that my friends don't find funny at all
    Itsmemario717 Itsmemario717 13-15, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Trust me, as a Sikh man you never wanna hear a

    Singhni say to you... "Singh, can you like tie your dastaar properly, please..." And am like "Can mind your own Business, please?" ESPECIALLY when you dnt know her.
    Sazzio Sazzio 26-30, M Jan 30

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    Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can

    go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 23, 2015

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    Duct tape can't fix stupidity

    but it can muffle its sound.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 10 Responses Jan 12, 2015

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    It's funny how up until around 14 years old

    "69" was just another number..
    akaShaun akaShaun 18-21, M 26 Responses Dec 8, 2014

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    Mooresville Mooresville 13-15, M Feb 2

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    If a girl says "First of all",

    run. There's never been a good "first of all". You've never heard a girl say "First of all, I'm gonna suck your ****". And you never will. "First of all" means that girl has done research, has data and her pie charts ready and you are done. xD
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 8 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    My girlfriend just left me.

    The fact that she's imaginary makes it worse.
    deleted deleted 26-30 16 Responses Mar 12, 2015

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    I don't think I can ever change my imaginary

    YouTube channel's name: "Yumyum Sauce"
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 days ago

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    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian

      An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..  She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 77 Responses Feb 28, 2010

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    Geekjunk Geekjunk 18-21, M 6 Responses Jan 20, 2015

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    Most of my jokes fall flat with people.

    I suppose that's because I don't find sexual and offensive jokes amusing and don't use them. Because of that, I kinda prefer pranks. I actually "Tigger bounced" one of my friends, scared him half to death.
    Machina24 Machina24 18-21, M 4 Responses Jan 31

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    I laugh at some things

    that I probably shouldn't laugh at :/
    Sicgoat173 Sicgoat173 16-17, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    When a male writes a story on EP,

    he gets a heart. When a female writes a story on EP, she gets 20 hearts, 60 responses, 30 boxes of chocolates and 2 wedding proposals.
    Profweird Profweird 22-25, M 13 Responses 4 days ago

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    I was hanging out with a guy

    who seemed to be really into me, we were at a park sitting on a bench. He said "scoot closer, you're too far away" & I replied "why don't you just come over here and sit on daddy's lap ;)" he didn't think it was funny and asked me never to say that again. If you can't laugh when...
    rangek rangek 18-21, F 35 Responses Jul 16, 2014

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    It was absolutely absurd how the camera pointed

    to Josh Norman crying at the end of the Superbowl. They must of thought Twitter was going to ignore it.
    Mooresville Mooresville 13-15, M 5 days ago

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    To do is to be - Nietzsche To be is to do -

    Kant Do be do be do - Sinatra D'oh - Simpson
    WhereIsMyBeard WhereIsMyBeard 26-30, T Feb 2

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    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 59 Responses Jun 10, 2010

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    Does anyone else get splash-back on your

    sphincter when a really big poop drops in the toilet? Happens to me sometimes; makeshift bidet.
    NoReasonToLiveForMe NoReasonToLiveForMe 18-21, M 5 days ago

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    Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell

    you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't...
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Mar 13, 2015

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    Your call is very important to us.

    Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 16 Responses Mar 9, 2015

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    twerkingnarwhals twerkingnarwhals 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    Another hookup hazard

    that we could learn from: When considering on saying 'Yes' to a match, never assume that a generous-sized c*ck doesn't come with an annoyingly humongous d*ckhead.
    iCuriousBabe iCuriousBabe 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    20 years ago we had Johnny cash,

    bob hope, and Steve jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs. Please... Never let Kevin bacon die..
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    I think Crocs are the best contraceptive

    invented. Who would get turned on seeing someone on those ?
    breathingeasy breathingeasy 41-45, M 11 Responses Jul 15, 2015

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    What did the Renaissance mystic shout

    after dunking on the basketball court? BöhmeShakaLaka! See, it's funny because it's a combination of the "BoomShakaLaka" catchphrase from the video game NBA Jam ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAy5cPFn9tM ) and 16th-17th century German mystic Jakob Böhme ( https://en...
    lcz415 lcz415 26-30 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to

    go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 3, 2015

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    I lost my teeth in a bike accident

    while impressing someone!!!!
    fahad7khan fahad7khan 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 30

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    stomach mad, butthole sad I thought of this

    after I ate a hotdog for dinner and got rlly bad poop
    goodatnothing goodatnothing 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 2

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    Do you wanna hear a pizza joke?

    - - - Never mind, it's pretty cheesy.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 12 Responses Jan 11, 2015

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    Glenn! Glenn, it's Theodore.

    Your cousin, Theodore Danzig. You know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this! *Britney Spears plays in the background*
    DesiredUserNameandStuff DesiredUserNameandStuff 31-35, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 46-50, M 8 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    We live in a society

    where pizza gets to your house before the police.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 9 Responses Jan 28, 2015

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    Isn't it weird that we have one hand

    that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like "Idk to how to hold a pencil.." O.O
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 17 Responses Jan 1, 2015

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    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 11 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    You can't argue with a sick mind.

    You can tune a piano,but you can't tuna fish.But,seriously.
    Pablo56692112 Pablo56692112 56-60, M 1 Response Feb 1

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    bigunsatx bigunsatx 36-40, M 7 Responses Feb 1

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    Fifty shades of Grey is only considered romantic

    because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal Minds episode.
    CestLaVegan CestLaVegan 26-30, F 30 Responses Feb 27, 2015

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    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 10 Responses Jan 25, 2015

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    Beer: Making guys think

    that they can dance for centuries.
    usedandabused73 usedandabused73 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 29

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    Jada Pickett smith is

    now going to boycott White Zombie because the lack of diversity in the name
    DesiredUserNameandStuff DesiredUserNameandStuff 31-35, F 2 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I'm scanning channels on the TV,

    I come across an add for Recta-Care. It got me thinking; unless your a **** star, how often does the average person take care of their rectum? So, I wrote it down on my grocery list. I guess I better get some. Woo Hoo, lol.
    drewditty drewditty 46-50, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    *Boy sees girl crying* Boy: Whats wrong?

    girl: im scared youll sleep with another girl boy: i know i will..and she will call you mommy girl *giggles* i think you got it wrong silly boy: i know what i said
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    "Jessica you can't go with me

    unless you put pants on"
    jexiccaa jexiccaa 18-21, F 6 Responses 4 days ago

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