Yea even if it's not funny I still think it's funny so I will be laughing if ya got a problem then go screw yourself
A friend of mine asked me to take care about her dog, while she was in the hospital. After couple of days being at me I found out that her dog (a Schnauzer) could...
"I hate the movies"! I am always laughing when everyone else isn't and I have a laugh that sounds like a cat coughing up a hair-ball.
Is This Joke Funny Or Is It Just Me? - A young man began his career as a magician on a cruise ship. Vital to his act was his pet parrot - the bird would always steal his act by...
Guy Needs A Push (joke) - A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning...
Back at my old college the testing room i was given had this really really cruel test giver.. i mean she would not let you go to the restroom till your pants were wet kinda cruel...
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.
Suddenly, Lorraine died.
At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is...
I dont fins kokes funny, but action like when someone sounds wierd or falls or makes a funny movement and if i make fun off something with my crazy friend
When Insults Had Class -- Courtesy Of Stumble Upon (my Other Addiction) - “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
A man received message from his neighbor.. Sorry sir I am using your wife. I am using day and night, I am using when you are not present at home, Infact I am using more than YOU...
Divorce Hearing. - A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and
asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice...
Bruno Mars ............……
I use to be FOOFOOYOUNGCHOW on myyearbook
Literally like none of my friends get my jokes ! Lol and we do t find the same things to be funny !!
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
Hahahahhaah - HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA Lol im sooooo bored hahahahaahhaha
so that's my 8 year old niece's advice on boys XD :
me : what do you do when you like a boy ?
her : you tell him !!
me :and if he doesn't like you ?
her : you kill him...
What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? .... names.
Writing with a broken pencil is pointless
I am very socially awkward. It seems like no one understands my sense of humor. Sigh 😒😂
Once, It Almost Got Me Fired -
When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs. I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with...
During a job interview you maybe asked to describe your greatest strength. after that they naturally follow up with the "what is your greatest weakness routine ... I say " I tend...
My friend thinks he's smart. He said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill And planned to do some kissing. Jack made a pass And grabbed her a$$ Now his two front teeth are missing
I get told a lot that I'm weird, and personally I think it's best to be yourself rather what people want you to be!:)
Going to a job interview wish me luck
Do I have a date for Valentine's day?
Of course ! February 14
The 12 Stages Of Drunkenness -
0 – Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet.
1 – Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.
2 – Lager...
I do! I joke about everything... even my sins! Cause If I go to hell... I'll be fine cause I know people there! I'll even get a ride at the door!
XD ,,, just saw this on INTERNET
these are the Seven $hittest Sins :
Greed: I want ****
Envy: I want your ****
Wrath: I'm going to wreck your ****
Lust: I'm into some...
A Tv advert for a gambling website was encouraging me to "pick a side". Apparently this meant to choose between two football teams and not to mass murder innocent Pokemon. Phew.
I want to steal a donut truck and go on a high speed chase, because it would be funny watchin cops chase a donut truck on the news.
It's True - Not sure where the hell it came from, but I remember when I was very young, people just laughing at things I'd say. Humor is my coping mechanism. I do it when I'm...
Head down......a$$ up......
....and THAT'S how I tie my shoes.......
(get your mind out of the gutter, people)
Yesterday i had an interview n i didn't get hired put then my old job called n asked if i wanna work weird:$
I have gotten in a lot of trouble because of my humor , it's very sarcastic yet hilariously mean .
Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee... - - You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your...
Did you not see the member name?
I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian -
An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young...
:/ - do I have to listen to maroon 1 2 3 and 4 before listening to maroon 5?
That's How Things Are Done Around Here - Ever asked yourself why we continue to do what we are doing if there is a different way out there?A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in...
"I had a dream about you."
"Yeah, you died."
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he asks...
While I was being given a tour of a mental asylum, I asked the psychiatrist, “How do you establish whether or not a person should be committed to your institution?” The doctor...
I do have a weird sense of humor. I make people's day but what I say is really crazy and completely senseless and every time I get a tbh on Instagram it always has to do with me...
When going on a roller coaster bring nuts and bolts with you, lean to the person in front of you and say: "Whoa dude, these came out of your seat!"
I can't take this long distance relationship anymore.....
Fridge your coming to my room
I Think Fairly Odd Parents Is the Greatest Cartoon Ever - Most people dont find my antics very funny but i tend to have a dry sense of humor ...Kind of sarcastic .. i...
Two Mischievous Brothers (joke) - Found this on Stumbleupon... thought it was cute.
Two Mischievous Brothers
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.
I laugh about this scenario, Going to a crowded mall with a metal briefcase, looking as nervous and suspicious as possible. Once I'm sure I am being watched.. I would drop the...
I laugh at the most terrible things and I can't help it
Thanks to Tumblr, my sense of humor has been warped completely. Plus I can look at **** and feel absolutely nothing. Thanks Obama lol