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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 150,151 People

    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 9 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    I told my GF to be happy!

    Just be loud. Express yourself whenever possible, whatever occassion. She thought and thought and thought... *That evening* so, here I am at my party with my fam and guests. My GF's in the distance, with her close friends. Then she shouts, unsually loud. "Sazzio! Sazzio!" I wave...
    Sazzio Sazzio 26-30, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    Giggles. I just had to share this one.

    I was sitting here when I heard the words to this song on TV. It had me laughing and of course I had to look up the whole song. I find it absolutely hilarious. Hehe Singing it now..... He was stone cold dead in the market....*jiggy dance. Lolol. https://m.youtube.com...
    snowberry75 snowberry75 36-40, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    We live in a society

    where pizza gets to your house before the police.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 12 Responses Jan 28

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    It's funny how up until around 14 years old

    "69" was just another number..
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 27 Responses Dec 8, 2014

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    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 12 Responses Jan 25

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    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 61 Responses Jun 10, 2010

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    If a girl says "First of all",

    run. There's never been a good "first of all". You've never heard a girl say "First of all, I'm gonna suck your ****". And you never will. "First of all" means that girl has done research, has data and her pie charts ready and you are done. xD
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 9 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    how I clean my room: -starts at one

    corner -finds something from 6 years ago and stares at it nostalgically for 5 hours -goes to bed
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 9 Responses Jan 26

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    My girlfriend just left me.

    The fact that she's imaginary makes it worse.
    AgentSean AgentSean 18-21, M 18 Responses Mar 12

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    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M 3 days ago

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    I'm the type of girl

    who bursts out laughing randomly at things you won't find nearly as hilarious as I do.
    Angieinthewonderland Angieinthewonderland 18-21, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I laugh at worst situation

    and serious at happy moments ohh y....
    yhasi yhasi 26-30, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    They say that love is more important

    than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
    RedThatDescribesMe RedThatDescribesMe 18-21, F 7 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    I gave a girl my number

    and told her to call me when she gets home.. ... ... ... ... She must be homeless.
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 12 Responses Mar 9

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    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 41-45, M 9 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    I doubt Vodka is the answer,

    but it's worth a shot
    VeganSoChic VeganSoChic 22-25, F 16 Responses Feb 26

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    Your call is very important to us.

    Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 19 Responses Mar 9

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    Years ago a girlfriend's father was OCD.

    For Christmas I gave him a label maker, her family still hates me for that.
    Ulfhednar74 Ulfhednar74 36-40, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    20 years ago we had Johnny cash,

    bob hope, and Steve jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs. Please... Never let Kevin bacon die..
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 6 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    I love to laugh and make others laugh.

    Intelligent humor is the best, but I will also laugh out loud to goofy movies or dirty jokes.
    Laleetwin Laleetwin 41-45, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I just bought some shoes from my drug dealer.

    .. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day
    SkollHati SkollHati 18-21, M 7 Responses Dec 1, 2014

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    Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can

    go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 14 Responses Jan 23

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    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian

      An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..  She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 77 Responses Feb 28, 2010

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    I often wonder when you get accupuncture is

    there a voodoo doll screaming in an alternate universe.?
    Songbird35 Songbird35 36-40, F 8 Responses Aug 19, 2014

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    Duct tape can't fix stupidity

    but it can muffle its sound.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 11 Responses Jan 12

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    "It's okay to crack your knuckles,

    just don't knuckle your crack." - Larry The Cable Guy
    biggunsatx biggunsatx 41-45, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I was hanging out with a guy

    who seemed to be really into me, we were at a park sitting on a bench. He said "scoot closer, you're too far away" & I replied "why don't you just come over here and sit on daddy's lap ;)" he didn't think it was funny and asked me never to say that again. If you can't laugh when...
    rangek rangek 18-21, F 36 Responses Jul 16, 2014

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    HeyyMrsCarter HeyyMrsCarter 22-25, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    jbm1984 jbm1984 31-35, F 1 day ago

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    I feel like a 12 year old

    for laughing at this! Do you see the message? I took the picture at work.
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    I never use the phrase,

    "Your guess is as good as mine" because, well... it's not.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Do you wanna hear a pizza joke?

    - - - Never mind, it's pretty cheesy.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 11

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    Despite the old saying,

    "Don't take your troubles to bed with you." many women still sleep with their husbands. LOL (jokes)
    HeyyMrsCarter HeyyMrsCarter 22-25, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    sometimes I am the only one laughing

    and it makes me feel weird
    energymustmove energymustmove 18-21, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    Normal people flirting: Hey you're cute we

    should go out sometime Me trying to flirt: So.... do you like bread?.... ~.~
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 27 Responses Mar 14

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    mr8bitmonster mr8bitmonster 18-21, M 7 Responses Jan 20

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    gymrat1997 gymrat1997 16-17, M 1 day ago

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    Fifty shades of Grey is only considered romantic

    because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal Minds episode.
    VeganSoChic VeganSoChic 22-25, F 43 Responses Feb 27

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    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to

    go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 8 Responses Mar 3

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    This. Is. Epic. https://www.

    youtube.com/watch?v=wjN8cKWwbpc
    astrokitty4341 astrokitty4341 22-25, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Did you hear about the Agnostic,

    Dyslexic, Insomniac ? Stayed up all night pondering the existence of dog.
    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Do you ever notice that

    when you are ignoring a phone call, the phone seems to ring longer than usual
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 20 Responses Jan 8

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    twerkingnarwhals twerkingnarwhals 13-15, M 10 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    Always be glad. That your peepee didnt fart.

    And your poopoo didnt hiccup.
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M 12 hrs ago

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