who seemed to be really into me, we were at a park sitting on a bench. He said "scoot closer, you're too far away" & I replied "why don't you just come over here and sit on daddy's lap ;)" he didn't think it was funny and asked me never to say that again. If you can't laugh when...
but blue jeans.
The host looks at him and says, "What are you supposed to be?"
"I am premature ***********", says the man.
The host asks, "Well, where's your shirt and shoes?"
"I just came in my pants."
The two g.ay old men went for a power walk... One has short grey hair and the other white curly hair... The fat old lady at the bus stop, glasses, short brunette stared in horror and amazement at the 2 men... cause they were 100% naked!
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.
"Aren't you going to...
An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..
She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied...
I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns
I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
run. There's never been a good "first of all". You've never heard a girl say "First of all, I'm gonna suck your ****". And you never will. "First of all" means that girl has done research, has data and her pie charts ready and you are done. xD