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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 156,721 People

    Isn't it weird that we have one hand

    that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like "Idk to how to hold a pencil.." O.O
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 18 Responses Jan 1

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    Trying to explain borderline trait Black

    and white thinking. All or nothing So me said no gray areas Like restauraunts got. The listener said what do you mean So me said you know. The part of the restaurant Where the gray hairs gather To gripe about us pups Eating most of the best food That the...
    Converted Converted 46-50, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can

    go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 14 Responses Jan 23

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    SlaveInTraining21 SlaveInTraining21 18-21, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Christians always go on about the time Jesus

    fed five thousand people with five loaves and two fishes. What about Hitler? He made six million Jews toast.
    doingitreich doingitreich 13-15, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    My sense of humor ranges from - corny & weird,

    to sarcastic & bitter, to dark & morbid, to witty & highbrow, and to Quirky. There's so many kinds of sense of humors out there. More kinds than I even am. So I hate it when I encounter a person with absolutely no sense of humor. 😒 we usually don't end up getting along.
    PsychGirl94 PsychGirl94 18-21, F 11 Responses 4 days ago

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    Thalassophobic Thalassophobic 18-21, M 5 days ago

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    It's funny how up until around 14 years old

    "69" was just another number..
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 26 Responses Dec 8, 2014

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    Two guys were in the woods camping

    and they heard a strange noise. one asked the other what was that? he said its a dickfer, what's a dickfer he asked? to pee with of course.
    usedandabused73 usedandabused73 41-45, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 41-45, M 8 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 61 Responses Jun 10, 2010

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    *Boy sees girl crying* Boy: Whats wrong?

    girl: im scared youll sleep with another girl boy: i know i will..and she will call you mommy girl *giggles* i think you got it wrong silly boy: i know what i said
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 9 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    PLEASE READ! I have just started a charity.

    I am 17 years old, and this is my story: I was born with a heart condition called Aortic stenosis, which is narrowing of the exit of the left ventricle of the heart. I am now 17 years old, and I am much better (as a result of major surgery when I was younger). I am was fortunate...
    amylouexoh amylouexoh 16-17, F 1 day ago

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    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian

      An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..  She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 77 Responses Feb 28, 2010

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    That one person think I am a psychopath.

    But then, I have friends who knew me so well and understood me that my weird sense of humor is part of me. I am thankful that though others may view me differently, my friends has still come to accept me for who I am.
    ivzy2208 ivzy2208 22-25 1 day ago

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    mr8bitmonster mr8bitmonster 18-21, M 6 Responses Jan 20

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    My brother in law need a kidney urgently.

    O+ Kidney need urgently. Donor should be under 40. Donor call at No. +92-333-4506458, 0300-6703819 or 03332652785.
    Asgharsindhi Asgharsindhi 41-45, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    What's the difference between a cat

    and a comma??? One has claws at the end of its paws, the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
    uberfuzz uberfuzz 22-25, M 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    Homer: The compass is pointing East.

    Marge: That's the fuel gauge.
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    There was a kidnapping at

    that elementary school. But, DONT WORRY!!! The kids woke up. (:
    Firechiic Firechiic 16-17, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Is it weird that I find it hilarious how many

    guys message me within an hour? There is just so many! Some ask about my name, or what I look like. Some even send pics of themselves! I mean like come on! I don't want to see pics of you! And if I don't answer back, don't take it offensively! I get a lot of messages and maybe 8...
    tinytinyone tinytinyone 18-21, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    Friend: I guess you and I have different tastes.

    :p Me: Nah. I think we both taste the same.😋 Friend: Ohhh, do we now? ;) Me: I was talking about cannibalism.. 😒 Friend: Ohh.. Uhh.. Me too. 😂😂
    PsychGirl94 PsychGirl94 18-21, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    Normal people flirting: Hey you're cute we

    should go out sometime Me trying to flirt: So.... do you like bread?.... ~.~
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 27 Responses Mar 14

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    how can you tell the proudest guy at the nudist

    club ? He can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts ! !
    sex69marriage sex69marriage 51-55, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Do you know what headphones always get beat up?

    Beats by Dr.Dre. Get it? Get it? Pls laugh
    rxmngerah rxmngerah 13-15, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Alexlovesmusic Alexlovesmusic 13-15, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 24 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    There was a cow boy, he went to New York on

    Sunday, he stayed for three days, and came back on Sunday, how's that possible? Cause his horse name is Sunday hahahahahaha
    vibrantsoul vibrantsoul 18-21, F 18 hrs ago

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    We live in a society

    where pizza gets to your house before the police.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 10 Responses Jan 28

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    hindustaniberawem hindustaniberawem 18-21, M 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    Ok. So, this is very immature

    and classless and pretty hilarious all rolled into one! Tonight I taught my dog to raise his paw when asked "who farted?" He does it so good! Hahaha! He looks so silly! I'm still giggling....
    Femininewiles Femininewiles 26-30, F 19 Responses Dec 13, 2014

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    PsychGirl94 PsychGirl94 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    nunezquinnad nunezquinnad 18-21, F 6 Responses 5 days ago

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    CrimsonShadow CrimsonShadow 16-17, M 3 days ago

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    I often wonder when you get accupuncture is

    there a voodoo doll screaming in an alternate universe.?
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Aug 19, 2014

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    I'd take of my shirt

    but i don't want you to be blinded by the white.
    usedandabused73 usedandabused73 41-45, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    twerkingnarwhals twerkingnarwhals 16-17, M 8 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    I just bought some shoes from my drug dealer.

    .. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day
    SkollHati SkollHati 18-21, M 7 Responses Dec 1, 2014

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    20 years ago we had Johnny cash,

    bob hope, and Steve jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs. Please... Never let Kevin bacon die..
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 6 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    Fifty shades of Grey is only considered romantic

    because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal Minds episode.
    CestLaVegan CestLaVegan 22-25, F 38 Responses Feb 27

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    Do you ever notice that

    when you are ignoring a phone call, the phone seems to ring longer than usual
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 19 Responses Jan 8

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    If a girl says "First of all",

    run. There's never been a good "first of all". You've never heard a girl say "First of all, I'm gonna suck your ****". And you never will. "First of all" means that girl has done research, has data and her pie charts ready and you are done. xD
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 9 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to

    go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 7 Responses Mar 3

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    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 11 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    Duct tape can't fix stupidity

    but it can muffle its sound.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 11 Responses Jan 12

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    My girlfriend just left me.

    The fact that she's imaginary makes it worse.
    deleted deleted 26-30 17 Responses Mar 12

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    Your call is very important to us.

    Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 18 Responses