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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 119,918 People

    ​This isn't even weird.

    ...it's just uber hilarious! You're welcome.
    ktlinn4 ktlinn4 26-30, F 4 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I think i'm mentally ill.

    I laugh at totally random stuff that isn't even funny. It's really awkward ☁️😭
    PassionInYourLife PassionInYourLife 13-15, M 16 Responses 1 day ago

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    Two Mischievous Brothers (joke)

    Found this on Stumbleupon... thought it was cute. Two Mischievous Brothers Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The...
    deleted deleted 26-30 21 Responses Nov 3, 2011

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    NOT SEXIST!!! A woman walks in a shop n say's

    to the staff member... Sir, sir! I think I need glasses!!! "You certainly do, Madam! This is the opticians... Not your kitchen." "Sorry, sir. I'll go back where I rightfully belong." Lady leaves. The manager pops from the back n says to the one n only staff member... Well...
    Sazzio Sazzio 22-25, M 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    "If I fart in my wallet,

    I'll have gas money." - my dad
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 12 Responses Aug 7

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    *knock knock* Who's there?

    Interrupting cow. Interrupting c- MOO! ! !
    chubbiwubbi chubbiwubbi 13-15, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Hahahahhaah

    HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA Lol im sooooo bored hahahahaahhaha
    Ashey16 Ashey16 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 27, 2013

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    That's How Things Are Done Around Here

    Ever asked yourself why we continue to do what we are doing if there is a different way out there?A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas on the top. Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the...
    juliana9 juliana9 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    I have a very complex sense of humor.

    Not saying it would take a genius to understand my jokes, not at all.. Only people who I have more of a connection with seem to get my humor and when they do, I feel like quite the comedian. :)
    StoneColdNipZz StoneColdNipZz 18-21, M 4 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    I love to be the one in a group to bring up

    some news story that is so bizarre or crazy that it leaves everyone shocked and with that doubtful look on their faces. I try to keep mental notes to answer the obvious questions that might come up and then I'll challenge the person to go look it up on the internet to confirm...
    VeronicaVee VeronicaVee 36-40, F 1 day ago

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    Don't you just hate it

    when you laugh and end up dropping your phone on your face?
    BlossomOfWinterfell BlossomOfWinterfell 13-15, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    xxsamelovexx xxsamelovexx 13-15, M 3 Responses Aug 5

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    Curiousgirl1999 Curiousgirl1999 13-15, F 10 Responses 4 days ago

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    Life is like toilet paper.

    You're either on a roll or you're taking **** from some *******.
    Nomad712 Nomad712 56-60, M Aug 3

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    I hate living in France,

    I hate my step dad and I spend my life playing xbox..:'(
    StevoDLH StevoDLH 13-15, M 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    You shouldn't play poker in the jungle ,

    because theres too many "CHEATahs" ooo gosh thats a good one. ( and yes i misspelled it on purpose)
    TeddyOrTeddie TeddyOrTeddie 13-15, M 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    A horse walks into a bar.

    The bartender asks the horse what it wants to drink. The horse, unable to speak English, takes a **** on the floor.
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 2 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    I have this weird thing I do with my father

    and it starting off high 5ing each other web we said something funny or were being smart *****, and now it's like distant elbow high five so its from a distant and they don't have to touch and it's with your elbow, weird I know. but hilarious
    emzeymoore emzeymoore 16-17, F 12 hrs ago

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    Stickboy1984 Stickboy1984 26-30, M 7 Responses 1 hr ago

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    A women and child was sitting across from me on

    the bus. The mother was ignoring the kid and texting, the child was jumping about and misbehaving. The kid then came over and shouted "Are you my daddy?" the mother looked up, I stared her in the eye and said "Probably"
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 10 Responses Apr 14

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    Rose (from Titanic) be like- I nominate Jack

    for the Ice Bucket Challenge..
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    Make the little things count.

    Teach midgets math.
    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    "I had a dream about you.

    " "Awww..." "Yeah, you died."
    SuicidalSilence SuicidalSilence 13-15 5 Responses Jan 10

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    thelonerinyourbed thelonerinyourbed 70+, T 3 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    EVERYONE START USING: WTN.

    .. what the nerd????????? Haha
    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    AgentSickler AgentSickler 18-21, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    There's a guy who asked me " do you pleasure

    yourself ? " And I was like : yeah ... by eating Him : it wasn't what I meant but ok Me : that's the point HAHAH I AM WEIRD 👅🙏
    Flowerydedo Flowerydedo 16-17, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    "My teacher pointed me with her ruler

    and said, "at the end of this ruler there is an idiot!" I got detention after asking which one." Happy Teacher Appreciation week educators!
    iEPeace iEPeace 26-30, F 7 Responses May 6

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    Guy Needs A Push (joke)

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 42 Responses Mar 28, 2012

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    Hahaha sexting fail! Idk

    where my sis saw this but I almost pissed myself laughing... Guy: hey Girl : hey Guy: wud Girl: laying in bed Guy: just that? Really? Aren't you doing anything else? Girl: I'm eating cereal Guy: what would you do if I was in bed with you right now? Girl: eat my cereal Guy...
    kittykat6918 kittykat6918 13-15, F 9 Responses Aug 17

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    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 8 hrs ago

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    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 41-45, M 10 Responses Feb 2

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    Nomad712 Nomad712 56-60, M 1 Response Aug 3

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    Knock, Knock Who's there?

    Jehovah's Witness :) ... Hello? ..... Sir? Go away! Sir please, just a moment of your time. If you don't leave I'll make you leave! What do you... *gun shot* ..... Sir?..... Jesus Christ... And that, dear children, is why you don't bother anyone on a Saturday...
    LeonardFinch LeonardFinch 16-17, M 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Is This Joke Funny Or Is It Just Me?

    A young man began his career as a magician on a cruise ship. Vital to his act was his pet parrot - the bird would always steal his act by giving away the trick, “the card is up his sleeve” or “he hid the dove in his pocket.” This always got a great laugh from the audience...
    deleted deleted 26-30 22 Responses Jan 2, 2012

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    Anybody else ever have an invisible ****?

    You sit on the toilet for 3,4,5 minutes. You hear those satisfying plops and splashes. You get up expecting to rejoice at the results of your labor. And O.o the **** has disappeared down the bend.
    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian

      An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..  She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 67 Responses Feb 28, 2010

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    I think I just had a small spider crawl on my

    face. I smacked myself with a book. Whatever, as long as the demon spawn died.
    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    ****! Insomnia, you ought to know better

    than jump out at me like that. It's a good thing I recognized you otherwise, you'd have gotten knocked the **** out.
    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 28 Responses 2 days ago

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    I often wonder when you get accupuncture is

    there a voodoo doll screaming in an alternate universe.?
    Songbird35 Songbird35 31-35, F 11 Responses Aug 19

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    LEMONkinks LEMONkinks 18-21, F 2 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    I have a new diet idea.

    Start carrying a midget around, strapped to your back. After a week, throw it off a bridge. Whoo! I just lost 80 pounds!
    Handyman25 Handyman25 22-25, M 3 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    On my way drive home with my son,

    we have a 'stupid' games. Like making puns and quizes. He ask me somebody is doing big on on the toilet. When he finished he realized that the toilet roll is finish and he was alone. What he do next? And I answer. He sneak out, take the roll from next cubicle, wipe and return...
    sashimi9 sashimi9 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    This is actually pretty terrible,

    for a situation that really has no simple solutions, but kinda apt summary that I can see the humor in from "Andrej" on Twitter: Obama: There's no military solution to Ukraine crisis. Putin: Challenge accepted.
    Faust76 Faust76 36-40, M 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    TAKE NOTE!!! White folks do stand up comedy in

    a quiet tone. Even the audience laff reasonably loud. INDIANS... please take note. Coffee shops do a smack bang job when it comes to their seating arrangements (UK). Leather seats, fine tables. McDONALD'S, please take note. I went in town this weekend for a shirt and trousers...
    Sazzio Sazzio 22-25, M 2 hrs ago

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    A man received message from his neighbor.

    . Sorry sir I am using your wife. I am using day and night, I am using when you are not present at home, Infact I am using more than YOU are using, I confess this because now I feel very much guilty, Hope You will accept my sincere apologies!! Man went home and had a big fight...
    Allwaysthink825 Allwaysthink825 22-25, F 14 Responses Mar 1

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    My mom passed away a year ago

    and I make jokes about it because that's the only way I can deal with it! Yup I'm messed up! lol
    SuperLizLoves SuperLizLoves 18-21, F 32 Responses Jul 16

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    For some reason I prefer anti jokes to real

    ones I guess they're better to me, if you don't know what an anti joke is here's and example, Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face.
    hummbleguy hummbleguy 13-15, M 2 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    Existence is a ripe plum tomato,

    covered in chocolate and black pepper. Sex is strawberry flavoured fish fingers. Men are elephant grey balloons tied to a yellow silk lamp post.
    DearbhalC95 DearbhalC95 18-21, F 4 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 24 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 9 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    I was hanging out with a guy

    who seemed to be really into me, we were at a park sitting on a bench. He said "scoot closer, you're too far away" & I replied "why don't you just come over here and sit on daddy's lap ;)" he didn't think it was funny and asked me never to say that again. If you can't laugh when...
    rangek rangek 18-21, F 43 Responses Jul 16

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    What if you started making car alarm noises

    when people you didn’t like touched you.
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 14 Responses Jul 7