Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 170,832 People

SEND TO A FRIEND:

    I think Crocs are the best contraceptive

    invented. Who would get turned on seeing someone on those ?
    breathingeasy breathingeasy 41-45, M 11 Responses Jul 15, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I lost my teeth in a bike accident

    while impressing someone!!!!
    fahad7khan fahad7khan 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When a male writes a story on EP,

    he gets a heart. When a female writes a story on EP, she gets 20 hearts, 60 responses, 30 boxes of chocolates and 2 wedding proposals.
    Profweird Profweird 22-25, M 13 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 11 Responses Aug 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My male friend went to doctors the other day to

    ask what's the best treatment for baldness. The doctor said "I have the same problem and the best thing is female love juices". My friend looked at the doctor and replied "but doctor,you are balder than me"?. Doctor looked and said to my friend "but you must admit,I have one...
    Shellster69 Shellster69 31-35, F 10 Responses Sep 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    You know how some people read books

    when they use the bathroom? Well, for me, that's my time to get on Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, or experience project.
    anonyme23 anonyme23 22-25, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I laugh at some things

    that I probably shouldn't laugh at :/
    Sicgoat173 Sicgoat173 16-17, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It was absolutely absurd how the camera pointed

    to Josh Norman crying at the end of the Superbowl. They must of thought Twitter was going to ignore it.
    Mooresville Mooresville 13-15, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    We live in a society

    where pizza gets to your house before the police.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 9 Responses Jan 28, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel
    iCuriousBabe iCuriousBabe 41-45, F 4 Responses Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    20 years ago we had Johnny cash,

    bob hope, and Steve jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs. Please... Never let Kevin bacon die..
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Dec 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I sometimes read read

    as read, when it was supposed to be read as read. On that subject, have you noticed that read rhymes with lead, while read rhymes with lead, but read and lead don't rhyme, nor do read and lead.
    FlaymeDancer FlaymeDancer 26-30, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    stomach mad, butthole sad I thought of this

    after I ate a hotdog for dinner and got rlly bad poop
    goodatnothing goodatnothing 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell

    you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't...
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Mar 13, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I doubt Vodka is the answer,

    but it's worth a shot
    CestLaVegan CestLaVegan 26-30, F 12 Responses Feb 26, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I often wonder when you get accupuncture is

    there a voodoo doll screaming in an alternate universe.?
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Aug 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm thinking about changing the brand of

    bottled water I drink. I really need to start stepping outside of my comfort zone.
    Mooresville Mooresville 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If a girl says "First of all",

    run. There's never been a good "first of all". You've never heard a girl say "First of all, I'm gonna suck your ****". And you never will. "First of all" means that girl has done research, has data and her pie charts ready and you are done. xD
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 8 Responses Nov 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Glenn! Glenn, it's Theodore.

    Your cousin, Theodore Danzig. You know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this! *Britney Spears plays in the background*
    DesiredUserNameandStuff DesiredUserNameandStuff 31-35, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Trust me, as a Sikh man you never wanna hear a

    Singhni say to you... "Singh, can you like tie your dastaar properly, please..." And am like "Can mind your own Business, please?" ESPECIALLY when you dnt know her.
    Sazzio Sazzio 26-30, M Jan 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't think I can ever change my imaginary

    YouTube channel's name: "Yumyum Sauce"
    Naverland Naverland 18-21, F 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Squatlife Squatlife 18-21, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Isn't it weird that we have one hand

    that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like "Idk to how to hold a pencil.." O.O
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 17 Responses Jan 1, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I do . I will laugh at the craziest things ,

    and stuff that my friends don't find funny at all
    Itsmemario717 Itsmemario717 13-15, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Most of my jokes fall flat with people.

    I suppose that's because I don't find sexual and offensive jokes amusing and don't use them. Because of that, I kinda prefer pranks. I actually "Tigger bounced" one of my friends, scared him half to death.
    Machina24 Machina24 18-21, M 4 Responses Jan 31

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 46-50, M 8 Responses Feb 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "Jessica you can't go with me

    unless you put pants on"
    jexiccaa jexiccaa 18-21, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 10 Responses Jan 25, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel
    bigunsatx bigunsatx 36-40, M 4 Responses Feb 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 59 Responses Jun 10, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    63 earths can fit in Uranus.

    64 if you really relax.
    Mucatra Mucatra 18-21, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    twerkingnarwhals twerkingnarwhals 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 25 Responses Sep 20, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    You can't argue with a sick mind.

    You can tune a piano,but you can't tuna fish.But,seriously.
    Pablo56692112 Pablo56692112 56-60, M 1 Response Feb 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Do you wanna hear a pizza joke?

    - - - Never mind, it's pretty cheesy.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 12 Responses Jan 11, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Beer: Making guys think

    that they can dance for centuries.
    usedandabused73 usedandabused73 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 29

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can

    go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 23, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What did the Renaissance mystic shout

    after dunking on the basketball court? BöhmeShakaLaka! See, it's funny because it's a combination of the "BoomShakaLaka" catchphrase from the video game NBA Jam ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAy5cPFn9tM ) and 16th-17th century German mystic Jakob Böhme ( https://en...
    lcz415 lcz415 26-30 2 Responses 16 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Does anyone else get splash-back on your

    sphincter when a really big poop drops in the toilet? Happens to me sometimes; makeshift bidet.
    NoReasonToLiveForMe NoReasonToLiveForMe 18-21, M 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Another hookup hazard

    that we could learn from: When considering on saying 'Yes' to a match, never assume that a generous-sized c*ck doesn't come with an annoyingly humongous d*ckhead.
    iCuriousBabe iCuriousBabe 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to

    go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 3, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Fifty shades of Grey is only considered romantic

    because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal Minds episode.
    CestLaVegan CestLaVegan 26-30, F 30 Responses Feb 27, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ok. So, this is very immature

    and classless and pretty hilarious all rolled into one! Tonight I taught my dog to raise his paw when asked "who farted?" He does it so good! Hahaha! He looks so silly! I'm still giggling....
    Femininewiles Femininewiles 26-30, F 17 Responses Dec 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Mooresville Mooresville 13-15, M Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Duct tape can't fix stupidity

    but it can muffle its sound.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 10 Responses Jan 12, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel