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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 149,889 People

    HeyyMrsCarter HeyyMrsCarter 22-25, F 5 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    You know I can handle Wednesday,

    just please get this camel out of my office.
    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I like the sound of wearing wetsuits

    and getting gunged. Have worn a wetsuit on water once and that was in the shower!! I have never been gunged but will be soon at my gfs house. personally can not wait
    Wetsuitgunger123 Wetsuitgunger123 41-45 4 days ago

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    Re-doing a high five

    until you get it right~
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    I told my GF to be happy!

    Just be loud. Express yourself whenever possible, whatever occassion. She thought and thought and thought... *That evening* so, here I am at my party with my fam and guests. My GF's in the distance, with her close friends. Then she shouts, unsually loud. "Sazzio! Sazzio!" I wave...
    Sazzio Sazzio 26-30, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to

    go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 8 Responses Mar 3

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    This. Is. Epic. https://www.

    youtube.com/watch?v=wjN8cKWwbpc
    astrokitty4341 astrokitty4341 22-25, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 12 Responses Jan 25

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    mr8bitmonster mr8bitmonster 18-21, M 7 Responses Jan 20

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    Fifty shades of Grey is only considered romantic

    because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal Minds episode.
    VeganSoChic VeganSoChic 22-25, F 43 Responses Feb 27

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    People ask if I live under power lines I say no

    my parent told me to play in traffic but now I stand on the train tracks waiting for the train to come.
    wildgreywolf1979 wildgreywolf1979 31-35, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    twerkingnarwhals twerkingnarwhals 13-15, M 10 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    BiFurZak BiFurZak 22-25, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I'd like to propose a toast: Here's to our wives

    and girlfriends, may they never meet.
    meme111111 meme111111 41-45, M 8 Responses Mar 14

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    sometimes I am the only one laughing

    and it makes me feel weird
    energymustmove energymustmove 18-21, F 7 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    I'm so amazing at cooking,

    even the fire alarm is cheering me on!
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    If a girl says "First of all",

    run. There's never been a good "first of all". You've never heard a girl say "First of all, I'm gonna suck your ****". And you never will. "First of all" means that girl has done research, has data and her pie charts ready and you are done. xD
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 9 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    Kumarie Kumarie 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    My male friend went to doctors the other day to

    ask what's the best treatment for baldness. The doctor said "I have the same problem and the best thing is female love juices". My friend looked at the doctor and replied "but doctor,you are balder than me"?. Doctor looked and said to my friend "but you must admit,I have one...
    Shellster69 Shellster69 31-35, F 11 Responses Sep 26, 2014

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    Do you ever notice that

    when you are ignoring a phone call, the phone seems to ring longer than usual
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 20 Responses Jan 8

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    *Boy sees girl crying* Boy: Whats wrong?

    girl: im scared youll sleep with another girl boy: i know i will..and she will call you mommy girl *giggles* i think you got it wrong silly boy: i know what i said
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 9 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 26 Responses Sep 20, 2011

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    It's funny how up until around 14 years old

    "69" was just another number..
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 28 Responses Dec 8, 2014

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    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 9 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    This pic made me laugh

    so hard idk why xD
    tarara0414 tarara0414 18-21, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    To me, Life and Death are like common parents,

    one wakes you up and the other one puts you to sleep.
    TheTofuMaster TheTofuMaster 22-25, M 3 days ago

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    My girlfriend just left me.

    The fact that she's imaginary makes it worse.
    AgentSean AgentSean 18-21, M 18 Responses Mar 12

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    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 61 Responses Jun 10, 2010

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    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 3 days ago

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    Your call is very important to us.

    Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 19 Responses Mar 9

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    I gave a girl my number

    and told her to call me when she gets home.. ... ... ... ... She must be homeless.
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 12 Responses Mar 9

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    Despite the old saying,

    "Don't take your troubles to bed with you." many women still sleep with their husbands. LOL (jokes)
    HeyyMrsCarter HeyyMrsCarter 22-25, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Normal people flirting: Hey you're cute we

    should go out sometime Me trying to flirt: So.... do you like bread?.... ~.~
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 27 Responses Mar 14

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    I love to laugh and make others laugh.

    Intelligent humor is the best, but I will also laugh out loud to goofy movies or dirty jokes.
    Laleetwin Laleetwin 41-45, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Isn't it weird that we have one hand

    that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like "Idk to how to hold a pencil.." O.O
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 19 Responses Jan 1

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    I doubt Vodka is the answer,

    but it's worth a shot
    VeganSoChic VeganSoChic 22-25, F 16 Responses Feb 26

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    how I clean my room: -starts at one

    corner -finds something from 6 years ago and stares at it nostalgically for 5 hours -goes to bed
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 9 Responses Jan 26

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    http://content-img.experienceproject.

    com/1429738110Toplv8-i.jpgIt works no matter what I do with it 
    HelterSkelter1 HelterSkelter1 22-25, M 2 days ago

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    Two reporters talking: „Anyway,

    they were building the lower level on the George Washington Bridge, and we were doing a remote there. Except nobody told me! ...ten after seven in the morning I get a call "Where the hell are you? You're supposed to be on the George Washington Bridge!" I jump out of bed, throw...
    KimKarlsson KimKarlsson 16-17, M 3 days ago

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    We live in a society

    where pizza gets to your house before the police.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 12 Responses Jan 28

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    I laugh at worst situation

    and serious at happy moments ohh y....
    yhasi yhasi 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can

    go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 14 Responses Jan 23

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    Duct tape can't fix stupidity

    but it can muffle its sound.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 11 Responses Jan 12

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    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian

      An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..  She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 77 Responses Feb 28, 2010

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