Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 149,935 People

    Kumarie Kumarie 13-15, F 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    To me, Life and Death are like common parents,

    one wakes you up and the other one puts you to sleep.
    TheTofuMaster TheTofuMaster 22-25, M 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If a girl says "First of all",

    run. There's never been a good "first of all". You've never heard a girl say "First of all, I'm gonna suck your ****". And you never will. "First of all" means that girl has done research, has data and her pie charts ready and you are done. xD
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 9 Responses Nov 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 12 Responses Jan 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    twerkingnarwhals twerkingnarwhals 13-15, M 10 Responses Dec 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    You know I can handle Wednesday,

    just please get this camel out of my office.
    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am never sure what to do with my eyes

    when I am at the dentist. Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling? What’s the proper etiquette here?
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 8 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I often wonder when you get accupuncture is

    there a voodoo doll screaming in an alternate universe.?
    Songbird35 Songbird35 36-40, F 8 Responses Aug 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Duct tape can't fix stupidity

    but it can muffle its sound.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 11 Responses Jan 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My male friend went to doctors the other day to

    ask what's the best treatment for baldness. The doctor said "I have the same problem and the best thing is female love juices". My friend looked at the doctor and replied "but doctor,you are balder than me"?. Doctor looked and said to my friend "but you must admit,I have one...
    Shellster69 Shellster69 31-35, F 11 Responses Sep 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two reporters talking: „Anyway,

    they were building the lower level on the George Washington Bridge, and we were doing a remote there. Except nobody told me! ...ten after seven in the morning I get a call "Where the hell are you? You're supposed to be on the George Washington Bridge!" I jump out of bed, throw...
    KimKarlsson KimKarlsson 16-17, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Your call is very important to us.

    Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 19 Responses Mar 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Do you wanna hear a pizza joke?

    - - - Never mind, it's pretty cheesy.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to

    go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 8 Responses Mar 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'd like to propose a toast: Here's to our wives

    and girlfriends, may they never meet.
    meme111111 meme111111 41-45, M 8 Responses Mar 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Do you ever notice that

    when you are ignoring a phone call, the phone seems to ring longer than usual
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 20 Responses Jan 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Isn't it weird that we have one hand

    that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like "Idk to how to hold a pencil.." O.O
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 19 Responses Jan 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's funny how up until around 14 years old

    "69" was just another number..
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 27 Responses Dec 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This. Is. Epic. https://www.

    youtube.com/watch?v=wjN8cKWwbpc
    astrokitty4341 astrokitty4341 22-25, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 9 Responses Aug 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    *Boy sees girl crying* Boy: Whats wrong?

    girl: im scared youll sleep with another girl boy: i know i will..and she will call you mommy girl *giggles* i think you got it wrong silly boy: i know what i said
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 9 Responses Dec 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    mr8bitmonster mr8bitmonster 18-21, M 7 Responses Jan 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This pic made me laugh

    so hard idk why xD
    tarara0414 tarara0414 18-21, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    I laughed so hard at this....Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the...
    RedRubies RedRubies 36-40, F 26 Responses Sep 20, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I love to laugh and make others laugh.

    Intelligent humor is the best, but I will also laugh out loud to goofy movies or dirty jokes.
    Laleetwin Laleetwin 41-45, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I doubt Vodka is the answer,

    but it's worth a shot
    VeganSoChic VeganSoChic 22-25, F 16 Responses Feb 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    http://content-img.experienceproject.

    com/1429738110Toplv8-i.jpgIt works no matter what I do with it 
    HelterSkelter1 HelterSkelter1 22-25, M 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    20 years ago we had Johnny cash,

    bob hope, and Steve jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs. Please... Never let Kevin bacon die..
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 6 Responses Dec 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Did you hear about the Agnostic,

    Dyslexic, Insomniac ? Stayed up all night pondering the existence of dog.
    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm so amazing at cooking,

    even the fire alarm is cheering me on!
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    HeyyMrsCarter HeyyMrsCarter 22-25, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M 8 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    how I clean my room: -starts at one

    corner -finds something from 6 years ago and stares at it nostalgically for 5 hours -goes to bed
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 9 Responses Jan 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    People ask if I live under power lines I say no

    my parent told me to play in traffic but now I stand on the train tracks waiting for the train to come.
    wildgreywolf1979 wildgreywolf1979 31-35, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    We live in a society

    where pizza gets to your house before the police.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 18-21, F 12 Responses Jan 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Next time your at a ATM withdrawing money.

    When it gives you your money ,start yelling 'I WON" I WON"!!!
    Hiddenheart101 Hiddenheart101 56-60, F 2 Responses 16 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I like the sound of wearing wetsuits

    and getting gunged. Have worn a wetsuit on water once and that was in the shower!! I have never been gunged but will be soon at my gfs house. personally can not wait
    Wetsuitgunger123 Wetsuitgunger123 41-45 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I told my GF to be happy!

    Just be loud. Express yourself whenever possible, whatever occassion. She thought and thought and thought... *That evening* so, here I am at my party with my fam and guests. My GF's in the distance, with her close friends. Then she shouts, unsually loud. "Sazzio! Sazzio!" I wave...
    Sazzio Sazzio 26-30, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My girlfriend just left me.

    The fact that she's imaginary makes it worse.
    AgentSean AgentSean 18-21, M 18 Responses Mar 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can

    go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 14 Responses Jan 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian

      An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..  She turned to Marty and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 77 Responses Feb 28, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    OMG !!! My life is so full of hilarious crap

    that I do. So after going to great lengths to get all done up pretty (I'm gender variable) and heading out for a meeting, I suddenly realize that I start driving like a stereotypical women !! Suddenly the clutch and manual shift transmission confuses me and I have zero sense...
    JessicaDale JessicaDale 51-55 7 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just bought some shoes from my drug dealer.

    .. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day
    SkollHati SkollHati 18-21, M 7 Responses Dec 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel