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I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 93,779 People

    Ah yess the joys of being kind xD
    Zack607 Zack607 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 31

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    True Story: I was about to get into shower an hour ago, knock at the door, so I put my robe on and answered it. It was a lady, Jehovah's Witness. I let her talk for about 10 second...
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 8 Responses Mar 29

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    New to this place...looks pretty interesting...with a side order of crazy...
    Bullbuddy Bullbuddy 31-35, M 6 Responses a week ago

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    That's How Things Are Done Around Here - Ever asked yourself why we continue to do what we are doing if there is a different way out there?A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in...
    juliana9 juliana9 26-30, F 15 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 41-45, M 10 Responses Feb 2

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    The 12 Stages Of Drunkenness - 0 – Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet. 1 – Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being. 2 – Lager...
    thatguy1970 thatguy1970 41-45, M 14 Responses Feb 9, 2012

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    "There once was a maiden from Stonebury Hollow. " "She didn't talk much, but boy, did she swallow." "I had a nice lance that she sat upon." "The maiden from Stonebury who is...
    KingLlnk KingLlnk 22-25, M a week ago

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    I am going to have a really bad day.. forgot half of my cloths at home.. and i'm travelling with friends..School trip....
    adrinnasweet adrinnasweet 18-21, F 4 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    TOP TEN WAYS TO FREAK OUT YOUR ROOMMATE 10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others...
    SparklyRain SparklyRain 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 5

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    :/ - do I have to listen to maroon 1 2 3 and 4 before listening to maroon 5?
    jessvaughn24 jessvaughn24 18-21, F 10 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    When going on a roller coaster bring nuts and bolts with you, lean to the person in front of you and say: "Whoa dude, these came out of your seat!"
    drs0307 drs0307 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 1

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    A Collection Of Shameful One Liners - Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. Practice safe eating - always use condiments...
    Dave002 Dave002 56-60, M 32 Responses Sep 12, 2011

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    A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I'm so mad, I can't even see straight." The bartender, noticing that the...
    MaryRiddle3 MaryRiddle3 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 29

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    I want to steal a donut truck and go on a high speed chase, because it would be funny watchin cops chase a donut truck on the news.
    ThePursuitOfHappiness ThePursuitOfHappiness 18-21, M 9 Responses Jan 29

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    I laugh out of no wear and than people look at me like is he crazy
    blueplasma blueplasma 13-15, M 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    One day...A turtle fell in a pond and died. The end!
    XxDarkDragonessxX XxDarkDragonessxX 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    Two Mischievous Brothers (joke) - Found this on Stumbleupon... thought it was cute. Two Mischievous Brothers Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They...
    thatguy1970 thatguy1970 41-45, M 28 Responses Nov 3, 2011

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    It would mean a lot to me if you Watch my YouTube vids CUTIESERAFINA http://youtu.be/n3bJbzLks8U
    cutieserafina cutieserafina 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 3

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    I can be normal.... ha. But who whats to do that?
    sicajae7 sicajae7 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 5

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    "Hi, im the milkman, Do you want it in the front or back?" Lol x3
    MajorasAngel97 MajorasAngel97 16-17, F 4 Responses Mar 30

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    When Insults Had Class -- Courtesy Of Stumble Upon (my Other Addiction) - “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” –Winston Churchill “I have...
    thatguy1970 thatguy1970 41-45, M 23 Responses Oct 13, 2011

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    There is nothing better then someone you can be weird with, when no matter what you say; how stupid, embarrassing or strange it may be, that person just gets you! Lol.
    deleted deleted 26-30 16 Responses Mar 18

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    I'm a certified prankster, and what better day is there to mess up people than April Fools Day? My prank for this year's a little simple though. My friends and I went to the mall...
    Ansonicchi Ansonicchi 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 1

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    Just remember every time you don't re rack the weights at the gym..Justin Bieber writes a new song
    ThePursuitOfHappiness ThePursuitOfHappiness 18-21, M 5 Responses Apr 3

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    Nobody else thinks this commercial is funny but everytime I see it I can't help cracking up http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ctIV7MST5i0
    VintageIndigo VintageIndigo 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    Sister: go **** yourself Me: already did! My humor is so sick
    broadwaybabe99 broadwaybabe99 13-15, F 4 Responses Mar 20

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    A man received message from his neighbor.. Sorry sir I am using your wife. I am using day and night, I am using when you are not present at home, Infact I am using more than YOU...
    Allwaysthink825 Allwaysthink825 22-25, F 12 Responses Mar 1

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    Jack and Jill Went up the hill And planned to do some kissing. Jack made a pass And grabbed her a$$ Now his two front teeth are missing
    TrentKandinski TrentKandinski 18-21, M 3 Responses Mar 7

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    While I was being given a tour of a mental asylum, I asked the psychiatrist, “How do you establish whether or not a person should be committed to your institution?” The doctor...
    rafael1983 rafael1983 31-35, M 5 Responses Jan 3

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    "I'm still counting on one last wave of puberty to come really late and make me hot." Hey,there might still be hope for me.
    SparklyRain SparklyRain 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    Want to chat with a female cannibal
    meat1234 meat1234 41-45, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    "I AM STRONG!!! I AM THE GREAT HUMONGOUS!!!!!!!" "Yes... yes we all know you're The Great Humongous..." "I was just saying." "Oh you're always just saying!"
    Mike389 Mike389 31-35, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    "I had a dream about you." "Awww..." "Yeah, you died."
    SuicidalSilence SuicidalSilence 13-15 5 Responses Jan 10

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    So I've been asked by a friend, "Why are you still single? You're 20 years old and haven't had a girlfriend? What are you looking for?" I answered, "Nothing special, I just want a...
    Ansonicchi Ansonicchi 18-21, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    Hahahahhaah - HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA Lol im sooooo bored hahahahaahhaha
    Ashey16 Ashey16 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 27, 2013

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    I have a less than average sense of humor but I live every minute of it
    Maddya Maddya 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    It began last friday, i was excited. I was going to pick up my kawasaki Ninja 500 that i had paid for a day earlier. I had already left the house and went to my boys and we would...
    taze99 taze99 36-40, M 2 Responses Apr 1

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    The guy next door just arrogantly challenged me to a water balloon fight..so i thought id write this as i wait for the water to boil..
    ThePursuitOfHappiness ThePursuitOfHappiness 18-21, M 6 Responses Mar 17

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    I got 99 problems..... and theyre all due monday -.- #CollegeSucks
    ThePursuitOfHappiness ThePursuitOfHappiness 18-21, M 4 Responses Apr 4

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    Divorce Hearing. - A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he asks...
    onelife4u onelife4u 41-45, M 5 Responses Dec 26, 2013

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    Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee... - - You answer the door before people knock. - Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. - You ski uphill. - You grind your coffee beans in your...
    SilentBluemoon SilentBluemoon 36-40, F 5 Responses May 5, 2013

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    I told my mom to move her purse because it was invading my personal space. HA! Heart if you get it.
    HeartOfNature HeartOfNature 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 6

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    A women and child was sitting across from me on the bus. The mother was ignoring the kid and texting, the child was jumping about and misbehaving. The kid then came over and...
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 11 Responses 1 day ago

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    I am not ugly... God just challenged me to pick up women in legendary mode
    ThePursuitOfHappiness ThePursuitOfHappiness 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 6

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    Do you enjoy traveling? Well, I guess you won't after you've seated next to me in a public transportation vehicle. I took a bus yesterday as I was going home, and to my surprise...
    Ansonicchi Ansonicchi 18-21, M 3 Responses Apr 5

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    bad jokes crack me up better than a good joke
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 8 Responses 4 days ago

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    I Just Found Out I'm Not A Lesbian -   An old cowboy named Marty sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.  As he sat sipping his coffee, a young...
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 66 Responses Feb 28, 2010

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    Yea. Anti jokes, creepy jokes, jokes that probably aren't considered jokes. I guess I'm just weird. Oh, yea we can't forget my horrible/loud laugh that really tops things off...
    ashley359 ashley359 13-15, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    Do I have a date for Valentine's day? Of course ! February 14
    lostCake lostCake 22-25, F 10 Responses Feb 13

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    It's wonderful having a daft, childish sense of humour. Seeing the funny side of life, even if it's dark humour, helps me get through even the baddest of days.
    RicRaver RicRaver 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 4

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    Is This Joke Funny Or Is It Just Me? - A young man began his career as a magician on a cruise ship. Vital to his act was his pet parrot - the bird would always steal his act by...
    thatguy1970 thatguy1970 41-45, M 24 Responses Jan 2, 2012

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    Please respond with authenticity,