Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Have a Weird Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 159,189 People

SEND TO A FRIEND:

    A group of people with erectile dysfunction

    attend a local meeting. No one came...
    KindredKings KindredKings 13-15, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    usedandabused73 usedandabused73 41-45, M 5 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ok. So, this is very immature

    and classless and pretty hilarious all rolled into one! Tonight I taught my dog to raise his paw when asked "who farted?" He does it so good! Hahaha! He looks so silly! I'm still giggling....
    Femininewiles Femininewiles 26-30, F 19 Responses Dec 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't care for dogs.

    A nurse that I'm not well acquainted with was telling someone that her dog ate her fiancé's passport causing them to choose someplace domestic for honeymoon. Before I could even stop myself I looked over and said "Oh, you should take him to the vet and have him put down". She...
    Abayoumi Abayoumi 26-30, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell

    you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't...
    OrphanBlackFan OrphanBlackFan 26-30, F 14 Responses Mar 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Exercise is something we all take

    for granted at some point in our lives. I'll tell you right now that I do one sit up a day, I get out of bed and that's a half of one and when I go to bed that's the other half. I know, it's hard work and all but you can do it!
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Normal people flirting: Hey you're cute we

    should go out sometime Me trying to flirt: So.... do you like bread?.... ~.~
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 27 Responses Mar 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    tbt to when my aunt told me my septum piercing

    was unnatural and then i told her that her penciled eyebrows are unnatural and she stayed quiet
    jamespasio26 jamespasio26 18-21, M 4 Responses 3 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm listening to Aqua

    and dancing alone in my room... So naturally I'm recording weird videos of myself dancing and making strange faces and sending them to random people in my phone. Sorry Trudy, you're going to wake up to all this *rubs hands all over body* getting down something fierce. Yeeehaw...
    anhonestgirl anhonestgirl 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    don't cheat on your spouse,

    kuz if you do when you get old and are dying they have the right to have the nursing staff hold your pain meds. ouch should've thought that one through a little better.
    darktigeress darktigeress 26-30, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When Miley Cyrus is naked

    and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
    onelife4u onelife4u 41-45, M 8 Responses Feb 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I doubt Vodka is the answer,

    but it's worth a shot
    CestLaVegan CestLaVegan 22-25, F 13 Responses Feb 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Tastymeat Tastymeat 41-45, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Just charged my vibrator

    now I need some motivation lol I need some real **** it's been 9 months
    Kriszie Kriszie 22-25, F 12 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm forming a group for those with an interest

    in flagellation,necrophilia and beastuality, honestly its like flogging a dead horse
    deg1965 deg1965 46-50, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    3nita3 3nita3 46-50, F 6 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My male friend went to doctors the other day to

    ask what's the best treatment for baldness. The doctor said "I have the same problem and the best thing is female love juices". My friend looked at the doctor and replied "but doctor,you are balder than me"?. Doctor looked and said to my friend "but you must admit,I have one...
    Shellster69 Shellster69 31-35, F 11 Responses Sep 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to

    go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 7 Responses Mar 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If a girl says "First of all",

    run. There's never been a good "first of all". You've never heard a girl say "First of all, I'm gonna suck your ****". And you never will. "First of all" means that girl has done research, has data and her pie charts ready and you are done. xD
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 9 Responses Nov 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Once, It Almost Got Me Fired

    When putting myself through school, years ago, I supported myself by working various retail jobs.  I quite enjoyed retail...liked working with people, helping people find what they were looking for.  Christmas, however, was not the most enjoyable time of year while working in...
    Whym Whym 36-40, F 61 Responses Jun 10, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    We had a hearing test at work

    and this older guy brought a "cheat sheet" along with him. He came up telling us, "I'm going to pass it this year guys! I've got the answers right here!" We look at the cheat sheet and it has, "Beep! Beep! Beep!" on a post-it. I guess when you get old, you're willing to do...
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My boyfriend is like February the 30th.

    . . . . . . . . . . He doesn't exist!
    lilacadventures lilacadventures 18-21, F 4 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have a rude sense of humor,

    which completely contradicts peoples' initial impression of me.
    eminemlover123 eminemlover123 13-15, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 11 Responses Jan 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I often wonder when you get accupuncture is

    there a voodoo doll screaming in an alternate universe.?
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Aug 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't like people,

    but I get upset when people don't talk to me
    iamme1992 iamme1992 22-25, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I know it's cruel, but I like saying to me

    female friends "Guess who just got a date this weekend?" They get all excited thinking I got a date, and I just say, "Why are you getting all excited? I never said it was me." They're mad at first, but they end up laughing. Sometimes. Alright, that's a lie. They usually tell me...
    Spyro93 Spyro93 18-21, M 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Fifty shades of Grey is only considered romantic

    because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal Minds episode.
    CestLaVegan CestLaVegan 22-25, F 36 Responses Feb 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Isn't it weird that we have one hand

    that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like "Idk to how to hold a pencil.." O.O
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 18 Responses Jan 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Luvz yu grammer natziz.

    . becuz of uz I kin now right like a perfessional edjucated righter. thankz to all youz fer yur help.
    akajum2 akajum2 51-55, M 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Does the term "Come early on your first day"

    apply in the **** business? Lol
    HeyyMrsCarter HeyyMrsCarter 22-25, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    People don't think I'm cool,

    but that's OK because my teachers said I didn't think at all.
    Spyro93 Spyro93 18-21, M 1 Response a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    We live in a society

    where pizza gets to your house before the police.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 10 Responses Jan 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Your call is very important to us.

    Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 17 Responses Mar 9

    Your Response

    Cancel
    twerkingnarwhals twerkingnarwhals 16-17, M 8 Responses Dec 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My girlfriend just left me.

    The fact that she's imaginary makes it worse.
    deleted deleted 26-30 17 Responses Mar 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Library lost power. Fancy library.

    Parking lot is solar. But still a power outage. Me asks if solar goes to city. And if city charges them for power. Lol.
    Converted Converted 46-50, M 1 Response a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Duct tape can't fix stupidity

    but it can muffle its sound.
    FinnyFunny FinnyFunny 22-25, F 11 Responses Jan 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm not as stupid as people think,

    but damn am I close.
    Spyro93 Spyro93 18-21, M 1 Response 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A burp is just a fart

    that took the elevator :p
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can

    go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home.
    esmer2496 esmer2496 18-21, F 14 Responses Jan 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I think Crocs are the best contraceptive

    invented. Who would get turned on seeing someone on those ?
    breathingeasy breathingeasy 41-45, M 21 Responses Jul 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    20 years ago we had Johnny cash,

    bob hope, and Steve jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs. Please... Never let Kevin bacon die..
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 6 Responses Dec 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    courtcourt94 courtcourt94 18-21, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    figdryjbdtikvxthb figdryjbdtikvxthb 41-45, F 11 Responses