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I Have Abuse Flashbacks

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 121 People

    Just Like It's Happening Again.

    The lights are off. Almost asleep, have to get the rest for work in the morning. I shut my eyes, and im back. Back to being 4, remembering exactly, as if it was now. Standing on the side walk. Doing something to make him mad. I cant remember what, but then theres a hand coming at...
    foreverashamed foreverashamed 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 14, 2012

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    They Are the Worse...

    I suffer from abuse flashhbacks, they are no fun living with, and having to deal with on a basis. I hate it more than anyone can possibly understand. I was diagnossed with PTSD, and it explains why I get the flashbacks, as bad as I do. I don't like dealing with them at all...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 27, 2009

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    I had a bad flashback today

    and I still don't have the memory. I was driving in my car, when there was this loud bang really close behind me. It sounded like, or at least my brain interpreted it as a gun shot. *possible trigger warning! I don't have any memories of a gun being fired but I do remember my...
    dreshany dreshany 36-40, F 5 days ago

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    Is It Real? Or Just A Dream.

    ***Animal cruetly triggers*** I've been having dreams about my uncle laltely. My mom has 7 brothers, this one is stranger than all of her brothers. He's the second oldest brother ( I think) and he acts more childish than all of them. He says strange things to my sister, like...
    LivDragonfly LivDragonfly 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 1, 2011

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    I Don'T Think I Can Do This

    It's so hard. I just want to be able to drive down the road, go to the grocery store, have coffee, lunch with a friend, a hug, a kiss. I am tortured by my own memories. Some of which I don't even remember properly. I am afraid all the time. I don't want to be here. I don't want...
    LolahP LolahP 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 29, 2013

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    The Ultimate Form Of Deception

    Rough night...childhood flashbacks...again. Can't pinpoint any one particular trigger...just seems to be accumulative...the whole big picture...both then and now. Like a ton of bricks it levels you. Out of the blue...blindsided...again...when you thought you were doing fine. Will...
    Solitaire1 Solitaire1 46-50, M 5 Responses Dec 22, 2011

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    I dated a murderer

    I once dated someone who I loved so much, I would have done anything for . I was 21 years old, he was 22 . We were the most inseperable couple out there . There wasn't a day that we weren't together . To me it felt like a relief to have someone that close to me in my life . I was...
    remember22 remember22 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 12, 2013

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    Oh I Remember...

    its always at night, i lay my head on my soft comfy pillow and in flows the thoughts of life and questions and then the memories and flashbacks.oh i remember when i was even younger than today maybe 7 or so. i remember the stove, fire , my fathes bellowing voice, and my burning...
    apml apml 16-17, F Feb 28, 2012

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    The Ranch.

    I was sent to a residential treatment youth ranch. I did not experience physical abuse such as beatings. I was held down and restrained when I fought back, I had my arms and legs duct taped to keep me down, I had gloves taped to my hands to keep me from hurting myself and...
    Nalxx Nalxx 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 18, 2011

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    Abuse Flashbacks Are Here Again.

    I wondered if my abuse memories would start up again. It's like they have a separate life of their own.  In 1993, I had 12 yrs of sobriety and 7yrs of counseling.  The memories would increase in severity.  Abuse memories can be different...
    WarriorMom WarriorMom 51-55, F 4 Responses Oct 28, 2008

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    And I Desperately Wish My Mind Would Just Stay In The Present.

    I don't have flashbacks as much as I used to and of that I am very grateful, but sometimes the triggers are simply everywhere...which means that so are my mind and emotions. My family was horribly abusive; those who didn't actively abuse me neglected me, and friends of the...
    ManuNani ManuNani 31-35 Sep 2, 2012

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    Do Not Read If You Don't Want to Know Part of What Happens In the Movie Gran Torino

    I don't really get them a lot.  They're actually very, very, very rare, but when they happen they're pretty nuts.  They last for a couple minutes and then after that I realize that it's stupid to let it plague my mind so I tell myself to stop.  And so I stop. The...
    yoyy yoyy 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 27, 2009

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    I Cant Believe What I Did. And I Cant Believe The Reason.

    Being abused mentally and physically is something i got used to. Its just something that happened in my house. My Father was around, always was. But he wasnt a dad. He hates me. Hes told me so. The only memorys i have are of being screamed at or hit. So when a guy that was old...
    foreverashamed foreverashamed 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 14, 2012

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    Good Times and Bad, They Are There

    I've wrote a few stories briefly explaining some of the abuse I dealt with as a child, I guess it's time to talk about the flashbacks and triggers. My flashbacks can be so real, so graphic, they cause tunnel vision and take me to my knees. I can most times feel the same feelings...
    ImminentDisaster ImminentDisaster 26-30, M 8 Responses Jul 28, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    Cut💨 Scratched💨 Bitten💨 Burned💨 Starved💨 Bruised💨 Scarred.... You name it and I've probably done it. I have been self harming since the age of seven and...
    bulimicbixtch49 bulimicbixtch49 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    Hi, it's Dakota again. I've already told my story of being raped by my uncle and three strange men last summer, just after I turned 14. One of the men was killed in a bad drug deal...
    mouthdakota mouthdakota 18-21, M 10 Responses Apr 4

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    My abuse started when I was married to my ex-husband. He would make me call him in late for work and then he would rape me. This went on for about three years. I also remember...
    randi123456 randi123456 56-60, F Mar 31

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    Why did he take it all? I was not smart. I knew I was not smart because I was told that every day. Sometimes with words and sometimes it was said with a look or a certain shrug...
    NoDavid NoDavid 46-50 6 days ago

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    Why did he take it all? I was not smart. I knew I was not smart because I was told that every day. Sometimes with words and sometimes it was said with a look or a certain shrug...
    NoDavid NoDavid 46-50 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Where to begin. All I can say is although I have moved out of my fathers toxic home, I am still very nervous as I write this. I can literally feel the anxiety building up. Ok...
    rrrrandom rrrrandom 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    Everybody who I've told what she does to me says that she is abusive, but I'm still not sure. I know that she's narcissistic because in all the articles I read about it almost all...
    jules401 jules401 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 29

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    I'm against all abuse, but I think verbal abuse can be very damaging to a person. If someone were to hit me, I would instantly know that it was wrong. Maybe I would hit them back...
    couldbeheaven couldbeheaven 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 1

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    April 3. I think we often forget the little boys affected by child abuse. We only really think about the boys when there are big cases like Michael Jackson or Jerry Sandusky are in...
    RuthieAnja RuthieAnja 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 3

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    It was 2 years ago today i was beaten up by several guys in a school locker room for being Bi its stupid but im going to tell you my story: i was getting changed into gym clothes...
    LaTeAssassin LaTeAssassin 16-17, M 3 Responses Mar 27

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    April is Child Abuse Awareness Month (at least it is here in the USA). I've made a plan to post a status every day this month on Facebook with information about child abuse. I hate...
    RuthieAnja RuthieAnja 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 2

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    Tonight at work the place I'm working felt they needed to use a bird cannon to scare away the birds trying to mate and build nests around the plant. It's a bit rough and I'm having...
    skeeter0079 skeeter0079 31-35, M 2 Responses Apr 4

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    Many people ask why do you stay in an abusive relationship the answer to that is simple many times with emotional abuse you do not realize you're being abused because the abuser...
    jadelaoch jadelaoch 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    I am against abuse of any kind. Anyone who hurts, and abuses someone else makes me really mad. I can not stand to hear about people being abused, and hurt. I think abusers of any...
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel 26-30, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I was with "him" for almost 30 years. In the beginning I did notice that he was somewhat controlling. Also he could be manipulative. However in those times these actions were...
    Freedom425 Freedom425 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    Oh, I so do. I think about the kids I teach in Sunday school, and if I ever found out that anyone abused them in any way, I don't know what that would do to me. That could very...
    Whoami30 Whoami30 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 25

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    Him - There is this one man who keeps tormenting me in my nightmares to the point that I can't even think of him the same way in real life without having flashbacks of those...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 28

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    I don't believe that spanking is abuse, though. My parents spanked me, and I think I turned out just fine. I had a healthy fear of my parents. I knew who was in charge, and I...
    couldbeheaven couldbeheaven 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 29

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    I'm 14. I was raped last summer by my uncle and three strange men. They've all been punished in some way for what they did. It's all behind me now, but I'm still not over it. I see...
    mouthdakota mouthdakota 18-21, M 5 Responses Mar 29

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    It's honestly the worst thing ever and I would never wish abuse upon my worst enemy. I can't take back this past year and a half and I regret it every day. It truly does suck. I...
    cak22 cak22 18-21, F Mar 31

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    This is something I have a hard time admitting and even though I have talked about the abuse to people I trust, I never let them know it was him. 10 years after the last incident...
    shierahawke88 shierahawke88 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 31

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    Abuse. Something I feel very very very strongly on is wrong ! No matter which form or age group. If you know of anyone getting abused please speak up and seek help; and if your...
    candyliscious candyliscious 18-21, F Apr 1

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    It's April 2! Still Child Abuse Awareness Month. Did you know that child abuse kills four or five children every day in the United States alone? Such a sad statistic. Child abuse...
    RuthieAnja RuthieAnja 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 2

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    It's April 2! Still Child Abuse Awareness Month. Did you know that child abuse kills four or five children every day in the United States alone? Such a sad statistic. Child abuse...
    KortneeAnne KortneeAnne 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 2

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    I just want to curl up in bed with my teddy bear and sleep all day long. I'm tired of the ups and downs and instability. I just want to close my eyes and not feel everything so...
    treasureforever treasureforever 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 4

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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M Apr 8

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    All through my childhood my mother abused me, physically, mentally and sexually. A lot of people never understand that a woman can sexually abuse a child but believe me there are...
    liberosis liberosis 41-45, F 4 Responses Apr 10

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    My dad is my abuser and I didn't know why I felt so dysfunctional until recently. My mom is amazing, and she is a survivor of horrible abuse herself so I never knew that emotional...
    katieowl katieowl 18-21, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I have a heart shaped birthmark on my left ankle and I sometimes wonder of that's because I'm special. At times I still feel like there's a part of me I don't know about or I'm not...
    xDreamerGirlx xDreamerGirlx 13-15, F 3 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I have deep hatred for the MAN abused me sexually when I was just a little kid. I was only 4-5 years old when this guy, this so called relatives sexually abused me. I din't know...
    nobodyn234 nobodyn234 26-30, M 3 Responses Mar 25

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    Happy April! April is Child Abuse Awareness Month. Today, I was reminded of a status I wanted to make while on Spring Break but never got around to. You'll get the connection to...
    RuthieAnja RuthieAnja 18-21, F Apr 2

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    My mom just told me the other day that I might have been sexually abused when I was 4. I was like, "What do you mean, "might" ? " She would drop me off at daycare when she went to...
    innerself000 innerself000 18-21 1 Response Apr 7

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    I was sexually abused by my grandfather and his dog. I have looked on a lot of abuse sites but have never been able to find anyone else who was abuse by using an animal to do the...
    Veraspain Veraspain 16-17, F 5 Responses Apr 10

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    My name is Dakota. I'm 14. I'm a victim of sexual abuse. I'm overcoming this trauma one day at a time. I'm learning to trust again. If you want to know my back story, please read...
    mouthdakota mouthdakota 18-21, M 5 Responses Mar 22

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    A man is no man If He holds abuse in his hands Words full of hate Im sure most of you can relate Some call it discipline Some call him crazy But whatever you call him He...
    lifeinmyeyes13 lifeinmyeyes13 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 28

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    I found this and thought it could be helpful for someone on ep Early signs of abuse in relationships. -Partner tells you who you can see, what clothes to wear, how to have your...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 1 Response Apr 3

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    I really hate people who abuse animals what do they do how could you hurt them there so helpless I would never abuse an animal I couldn't it would hurt me to much
    ILoveBaxter ILoveBaxter 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 21

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    I've been through hell and back with this guy he's been in my life for almost 8 years now. He's done it all; cheat, mental abuse, physical abuse and lies after lies. I really want...
    Ireallycantsay Ireallycantsay 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 28

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