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I Have Abuse Flashbacks

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 121 People

    And I Desperately Wish My Mind Would Just Stay In The Present.

    I don't have flashbacks as much as I used to and of that I am very grateful, but sometimes the triggers are simply everywhere...which means that so are my mind and emotions. My family was horribly abusive; those who didn't actively abuse me neglected me, and friends of the...
    ManuNani ManuNani 31-35 Sep 2, 2012

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    They Are the Worse...

    I suffer from abuse flashhbacks, they are no fun living with, and having to deal with on a basis. I hate it more than anyone can possibly understand. I was diagnossed with PTSD, and it explains why I get the flashbacks, as bad as I do. I don't like dealing with them at all...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 27, 2009

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    Many Times Flash Backs Are Like The Seasons

    they come and go witht he time of the year basic when they happened i thing. many times things in our life trigger them or if we are under stress they seem to be able to attack easyer which there was a pill to make them stop or to remove some of the feelings but so far never...
    rickibrat2 rickibrat2 61-65, M Jun 19, 2011

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    Oh I Remember...

    its always at night, i lay my head on my soft comfy pillow and in flows the thoughts of life and questions and then the memories and flashbacks.oh i remember when i was even younger than today maybe 7 or so. i remember the stove, fire , my fathes bellowing voice, and my burning...
    apml apml 16-17, F Feb 28, 2012

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    The Ultimate Form Of Deception

    Rough night...childhood flashbacks...again. Can't pinpoint any one particular trigger...just seems to be accumulative...the whole big picture...both then and now. Like a ton of bricks it levels you. Out of the blue...blindsided...again...when you thought you were doing fine. Will...
    Solitaire1 Solitaire1 46-50, M 5 Responses Dec 22, 2011

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    I Cant Believe What I Did. And I Cant Believe The Reason.

    Being abused mentally and physically is something i got used to. Its just something that happened in my house. My Father was around, always was. But he wasnt a dad. He hates me. Hes told me so. The only memorys i have are of being screamed at or hit. So when a guy that was old...
    foreverashamed foreverashamed 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 14, 2012

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    I Don'T Think I Can Do This

    It's so hard. I just want to be able to drive down the road, go to the grocery store, have coffee, lunch with a friend, a hug, a kiss. I am tortured by my own memories. Some of which I don't even remember properly. I am afraid all the time. I don't want to be here. I don't want...
    LolahP LolahP 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 29, 2013

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    Do Not Read If You Don't Want to Know Part of What Happens In the Movie Gran Torino

    I don't really get them a lot.  They're actually very, very, very rare, but when they happen they're pretty nuts.  They last for a couple minutes and then after that I realize that it's stupid to let it plague my mind so I tell myself to stop.  And so I stop. The...
    yoyy yoyy 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 27, 2009

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    Is It Real? Or Just A Dream.

    ***Animal cruetly triggers*** I've been having dreams about my uncle laltely. My mom has 7 brothers, this one is stranger than all of her brothers. He's the second oldest brother ( I think) and he acts more childish than all of them. He says strange things to my sister, like...
    LivDragonfly LivDragonfly 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 1, 2011

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    I dated a murderer

    I once dated someone who I loved so much, I would have done anything for . I was 21 years old, he was 22 . We were the most inseperable couple out there . There wasn't a day that we weren't together . To me it felt like a relief to have someone that close to me in my life . I was...
    remember22 remember22 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 12, 2013

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    Abuse Flashbacks Are Here Again.

    I wondered if my abuse memories would start up again. It's like they have a separate life of their own.  In 1993, I had 12 yrs of sobriety and 7yrs of counseling.  The memories would increase in severity.  Abuse memories can be different...
    WarriorMom WarriorMom 51-55, F 4 Responses Oct 28, 2008

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    Good Times and Bad, They Are There

    I've wrote a few stories briefly explaining some of the abuse I dealt with as a child, I guess it's time to talk about the flashbacks and triggers. My flashbacks can be so real, so graphic, they cause tunnel vision and take me to my knees. I can most times feel the same feelings...
    ImminentDisaster ImminentDisaster 26-30, M 8 Responses Jul 28, 2009

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    Just Like It's Happening Again.

    The lights are off. Almost asleep, have to get the rest for work in the morning. I shut my eyes, and im back. Back to being 4, remembering exactly, as if it was now. Standing on the side walk. Doing something to make him mad. I cant remember what, but then theres a hand coming at...
    foreverashamed foreverashamed 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 14, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I was sexually abused by my biological mother when I was 5 years old. She also took me to her "close friends", and her friends raped me. They were also abusive in other ways. I...
    Saram13 Saram13 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 7

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    I am 54 and have a strong family history of pancreatic cancer. My GI is a very well-known pancreatic cancer specialist who emphasizes screening and early detection, so he suggested...
    MP1960 MP1960 51-55, F 6 days ago

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    I can't forget what he's done to me physically or what he's said verbally. The words he said....that's where the real scars are found when you look into my eyes...that is if I can...
    lonewolf2323 lonewolf2323 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 24

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    My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. The whole time even when we dated has been full of abusive ways. I am so lost by the fact that he doesn't exactly...
    Anyonehome Anyonehome 26-30, F 19 hrs ago

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    Since I was 10 I witnessed the first signs of abuse . Not only me , but my brother and my mother . Today was awful , he hit all of us and we had a physical fight . It didn't end...
    secretxx1 secretxx1 13-15, F 2 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I am so ******* sick of seeing child abuse every time I turn on the news! Who the hell can harm their child, or kill their child. It also sickens me all these poor underage women...
    nursingstudentxo nursingstudentxo 22-25, F 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    as a man now aged 31 I never thought I could admit that my older sister abused me when I was around 5yrs old she would have been 16. I can barely look at her now but glad this...
    gamer3613 gamer3613 31-35, M 3 hrs ago

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    It shouldn't hurt to be a child. No child should feel like they are alone in the world, and nothing that they can do is right, but so many do, and the ones who do, feel like they...
    SouthernBella89 SouthernBella89 22-25, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    I hate discussing topics of rape, it makes me feel sick and uncomfortable. Maybe because I'm a victim, or maybe because it's a horrid and disgusting act. A few days ago I was...
    HerrExpierience HerrExpierience 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    Haven't written about it in a while, so I guess I should again. To this day no one knows who took away my innocents except for him and some of my family. One person outside of my...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 9

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    It all goes back to my childhood, I loved my mom and dad with all my heart but yet never received love back from them . The only person to ever love me as much , if not more , as...
    imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty 18-21, F 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    Her mother, past con artist turned highly conservative pseudo christian fruitcake, recently started beating my friend which resulted in her leaving to go live with her dad who is a...
    DataDiver DataDiver 16-17, F 7 hrs ago

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    I'm so tired of the flashbacks...just please make them stop! ...please I feel as if they are gonna be here all day :(
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    Drug abusers and alcoholics and psychopaths .. But everyone have children
    nonorawi nonorawi 13-15, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    Unless they would be the most caring and wonderful human beings in the world. They don't have to be perfect but abuse and neglect is a big no no
    90slove 90slove 18-21, F 4 hrs ago

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    I hate flashbacks. I was having a normal day, almost a happy day, for once. Then I went to bed last night and as I was laying there it all came rushing back. It's not even like a...
    betruetoyourself14 betruetoyourself14 13-15, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I was catching up on eastenders (yes I watch it don't judge) then I saw the part where Dean took advantage of Linda...**** I cried and cried and cried. I know they're just actors...
    betruetoyourself14 betruetoyourself14 13-15, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I don't have any children of my own but I can not imagine being able to abuse my own flesh and blood. I was never abused as a child by my parents but I was sexually molested by...
    Gemz2411 Gemz2411 18-21, F Sep 30

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    I often feel abused. I went online and took an abuse test. It was obviously for couples, but I scored really high and likely of being abused. I scream at myself, punish myself...
    innerself000 innerself000 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    It's horrible how the littlest things can remind you. A hairbrush that was within your sight, duct tape he used, the Lynx he wore, someone wearing the same tshirt he once shoved in...
    betruetoyourself14 betruetoyourself14 13-15, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Been not well. Have such intense feelings of disgust to the point where I want and need to just claw my skin off. It feels like I am going to go absolutely insane. I was driving...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    Since i was a little girl i have had nothing but trouble. I'm 18 now i have issues but if i say i need help my brother tells me there's nothing wrong and i just want something...
    EmoNekoNiki EmoNekoNiki 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 23

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    Moms and dads on EP if you don't have time to take care of your young children please choose the nanny carefully. I have a nanny almost all my life because my elder sister has...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 8

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    I'm actually still being abused. Yes, physically. By my brothers. When I tell people they say "every sibling PICKS on the other. It's normal" the thing that no one notices is it...
    lexrae lexrae 13-15, F 7 Responses Oct 13

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    I was emotionally abused, emotionally blackmailed, and thanks to my friends and family I left him. But I miss it. I want to be abused like that again. I want to be physically...
    Gallowsweet Gallowsweet 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 22

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    Since i was young i never really had a family along with my fathers physical and sexual abuse he emotionally abused me. He'd yell and call me a worthless piece of **** ***** and a...
    EmoNekoNiki EmoNekoNiki 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 23

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    Mary the victim was my predator. She tries to act like she never is at fault by making me the villain. The only reason she has to hate me is because I betrayed her a single time...
    FunnyLookingCorpse FunnyLookingCorpse 18-21 1 Response Oct 12

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    Doesn't seem to matter how much time passes or how much more damage is done. The thing that never seems to change is that my parents refuse to acknowledge the abuse that has...
    wbmw wbmw 31-35, F Oct 13

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    I really need to share/vent my story...my "mom" denies everything she has done to me. I wish I could stop calling her "mom", she doesn't deserve that title. Her name is Mary. I...
    OTexperience OTexperience 22-25, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    You know my name, but not my story. I am strong, yet also weak. I am independent, yet also dependent. I am optimist, yet pessimist. I am many different things, which make me who I...
    SimplySecure SimplySecure 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    You know my name, but not my story. I am strong, yet also weak. I am independent, yet also dependent. I am optimist, yet pessimist. I am many different things, which make me who I...
    SimplySecure SimplySecure 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Hello everyone, I need to vent and hopefully gain some practical advice from you, who have been in similar shoes. I was with an abusive man, physical a couple of times, but...
    ChooseToLive ChooseToLive 31-35, F 3 days ago

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    My stupid psychological nasty abusive mother came to me in my room and said how she could be charged with man slaughter and neglect for me staying in my room. Oh. Is that what it...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 70+, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    As a child I was sexually abused by my father it went on for year I was eight when it first happened nine when I ended it first I really didn't know what was going on he would call...
    Somechick47 Somechick47 18-21, F 5 Responses Sep 23

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    I read a story on deviantart but it was a gay gentlemen calling the domestic abuse hotline, he was explaining that his boyfriend was beating him but the operator said this was only...
    ArcticPotato ArcticPotato 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 24

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