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I Have Abuse Flashbacks

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 122 People

    I Cant Believe What I Did. And I Cant Believe The Reason.

    Being abused mentally and physically is something i got used to. Its just something that happened in my house. My Father was around, always was. But he wasnt a dad. He hates me. Hes told me so. The only memorys i have are of being screamed at or hit. So when a guy that was old...
    foreverashamed foreverashamed 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 14, 2012

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    Abuse Flashbacks Are Here Again.

    I wondered if my abuse memories would start up again. It's like they have a separate life of their own.  In 1993, I had 12 yrs of sobriety and 7yrs of counseling.  The memories would increase in severity.  Abuse memories can be different...
    WarriorMom WarriorMom 51-55, F 4 Responses Oct 28, 2008

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    Oh I Remember...

    its always at night, i lay my head on my soft comfy pillow and in flows the thoughts of life and questions and then the memories and flashbacks.oh i remember when i was even younger than today maybe 7 or so. i remember the stove, fire , my fathes bellowing voice, and my burning...
    apml apml 16-17, F Feb 28, 2012

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    Many Times Flash Backs Are Like The Seasons

    they come and go witht he time of the year basic when they happened i thing. many times things in our life trigger them or if we are under stress they seem to be able to attack easyer which there was a pill to make them stop or to remove some of the feelings but so far never...
    rickibrat2 rickibrat2 61-65, M Jun 19, 2011

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    Good Times and Bad, They Are There

    I've wrote a few stories briefly explaining some of the abuse I dealt with as a child, I guess it's time to talk about the flashbacks and triggers. My flashbacks can be so real, so graphic, they cause tunnel vision and take me to my knees. I can most times feel the same feelings...
    ImminentDisaster ImminentDisaster 26-30, M 8 Responses Jul 28, 2009

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    I dated a murderer

    I once dated someone who I loved so much, I would have done anything for . I was 21 years old, he was 22 . We were the most inseperable couple out there . There wasn't a day that we weren't together . To me it felt like a relief to have someone that close to me in my life . I was...
    remember22 remember22 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 12, 2013

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    I Don'T Think I Can Do This

    It's so hard. I just want to be able to drive down the road, go to the grocery store, have coffee, lunch with a friend, a hug, a kiss. I am tortured by my own memories. Some of which I don't even remember properly. I am afraid all the time. I don't want to be here. I don't want...
    LolahP LolahP 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 29, 2013

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    Just Like It's Happening Again.

    The lights are off. Almost asleep, have to get the rest for work in the morning. I shut my eyes, and im back. Back to being 4, remembering exactly, as if it was now. Standing on the side walk. Doing something to make him mad. I cant remember what, but then theres a hand coming at...
    foreverashamed foreverashamed 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 14, 2012

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    Is It Real? Or Just A Dream.

    ***Animal cruetly triggers*** I've been having dreams about my uncle laltely. My mom has 7 brothers, this one is stranger than all of her brothers. He's the second oldest brother ( I think) and he acts more childish than all of them. He says strange things to my sister, like...
    LivDragonfly LivDragonfly 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 1, 2011

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    And I Desperately Wish My Mind Would Just Stay In The Present.

    I don't have flashbacks as much as I used to and of that I am very grateful, but sometimes the triggers are simply everywhere...which means that so are my mind and emotions. My family was horribly abusive; those who didn't actively abuse me neglected me, and friends of the...
    ManuNani ManuNani 31-35 Sep 2, 2012

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    The Ultimate Form Of Deception

    Rough night...childhood flashbacks...again. Can't pinpoint any one particular trigger...just seems to be accumulative...the whole big picture...both then and now. Like a ton of bricks it levels you. Out of the blue...blindsided...again...when you thought you were doing fine. Will...
    Solitaire1 Solitaire1 46-50, M 5 Responses Dec 22, 2011

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    Do Not Read If You Don't Want to Know Part of What Happens In the Movie Gran Torino

    I don't really get them a lot.  They're actually very, very, very rare, but when they happen they're pretty nuts.  They last for a couple minutes and then after that I realize that it's stupid to let it plague my mind so I tell myself to stop.  And so I stop. The...
    yoyy yoyy 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 27, 2009

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    They Are the Worse...

    I suffer from abuse flashhbacks, they are no fun living with, and having to deal with on a basis. I hate it more than anyone can possibly understand. I was diagnossed with PTSD, and it explains why I get the flashbacks, as bad as I do. I don't like dealing with them at all...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 27, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    i binge eat. i starve. i slide razors on my skin. i go hungry for days. i cry till my face tingles so vigorously it goes numb. i stick with people who can break my heart. i go...
    meowshelbs meowshelbs 16-17, F Jul 11

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    My body has become a symbol for who I am. I'm so small showing my deepest desire to slip away into nothingness. I have cut my arms to mar the skin as if to be a constant reminder...
    PoetGirl97 PoetGirl97 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 8

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    I have been at both extreme and still am near an extreme I have cut but now I abuse my body with the amount of work and training I but it through If anyone has any ideas how I can...
    ryanmona ryanmona 18-21, M Jul 8

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    Bad food, hard drinks, questionable drugs, sharp knives, ice, fire, needles, and just plain wearing it down...each of these things hasn't killed me and therefore makes me stronger...
    Sinjintiger Sinjintiger 41-45, M Jul 8

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    I have flashbacks all the time. They used to be just to bad points in my life that I didn't want to remember, like the "my parents arguing" kind of thing. But recently, they've...
    MissSheila MissSheila 16-17, F Jul 10

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    More recent, I was in Manchester. I don't go out that often due to work and everything. So this was a once in a blue moon event. I called at a bar and ordered a bottle of bud. I...
    jetetter jetetter 41-45, M 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    I met my ex-husband at the age of 17. I never saw the red flags, mainly because I endured abuse growing up. I thought it was pretty normal when he got jealous of my friends, mad...
    lexy82 lexy82 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 30

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    Recently I have been having really bad flashbacks from my childhood. My dad left me on my grandmothers doorstep at 9 months old, at 2 years old he met a woman and took me back...
    HerrExpierience HerrExpierience 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 10

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    What do you consider the line between abuse and discipline? Who believes spanking is wrong?
    alphajake alphajake 26-30, M 4 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I want to start taking abused animals and slowly introduce them to nice families Starting with mine and then once their condition improves enough let them be adopted into a loving...
    poketeen poketeen 16-17, M 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    I'm over you, I really am. But when I see you married and I'm laughing along with your husbands jokes, I remember how someone used to laugh at mine. You. I guiltily admit that I...
    Incognit05 Incognit05 22-25, F Jul 10

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    You beat my mother up whilst she was pregnant with me & screamed that you didn't want a baby. I was born on the 5th of February 1994 and for a second, you had changed your mind. So...
    EBAAA EBAAA 18-21, F 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    My last two relationships have ended in violence. The first in hindsight wasn't a massive surprise but the last, if you had told me what he would do a month ago I would have...
    Magdamay Magdamay 26-30, F 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    It seems like every time I have a good day and anxiety is no longer apparent it comes back worse than before. I was totally ready to fall asleep, and then I started having...
    TheSongPlaysWithin TheSongPlaysWithin 16-17, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Once u was abused, i tell u honestly- u will never get over it. Never. You can do a therapy , it will help you to bring all the repressed hurt out but it wouldnt make the abuse...
    angel8i angel8i 31-35, F a week ago

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    Once u was abused, i tell u honestly- u will never get over it. Never. You can do a therapy , it will help you to bring all the repressed hurt out but it wouldnt make the abuse...
    angel8i angel8i 31-35, F a week ago

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    I created this facebook page called Breaking My Silence Now I Am Using My Voice. I wrote this a while ago, but I wanted to share...I created this page because I want to break the...
    mamabutterfly mamabutterfly 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 13

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    I was emotionally abused by my mother all of my life. The abuse started as i was 9 and continued till last year. As i lived with my parents in my mother country i was hurt every...
    angel8i angel8i 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 8

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    I'm having one right now :'( I'm having horrible flashbacks of the day a guy asked my love to prom and they started dating :'(
    ywilliam31 ywilliam31 16-17, M 2 days ago

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    I was molested and raped by my step grandfather when I was 5 years old to 7 years old. I live with PTSD and have horrible dreams and flashbacks. He never got what he deserved...
    ngutman22 ngutman22 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 3

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    I was diagnosed with chronic insomnia at the age of 13. The longest I have gone without sleep is 6 days, I was 16. On day 6 I was taken to the ER and my parents were told that they...
    TryingToLoveLifeNow TryingToLoveLifeNow 18-21, F Jul 4

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    Today my one of my best friends was like "just be happy uk that some people have it worse than u " Or he will be like " it's in the past move on " or "why are you sad it happened a...
    Hiddenamoungus Hiddenamoungus 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    So here is my story all my life I seeked attention I wanted to be the cemter of attention : talking loud .acting dramaticly .fighting with teacher to make them noticing me born in...
    aryela aryela 18-21, F Jul 10

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    When my son was born in '95, I shocked my whole family, even my husband. The reason for, I wasn't going to keep. I had social workers ready to take him as I put him up for...
    EyeDontGiveAHoot EyeDontGiveAHoot 36-40, F 5 Responses Jul 13

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    really :/ , when i have nothing to do , those embarrasing moments come to mind and i think "how on hell can you do such an idiotic thing? what was going on our mind in that time...
    Hugo655 Hugo655 18-21, M a week ago

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    After reading someones story about a rape the other night it got me thinking a little about my past. I laid in bed thinking about it and started to drift off to sleep. Suddenly my...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 3 days ago

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    I had a horrible father when I was young. He never cared about me, he kicked, punched, and slapped me everyday. I remembered he one time broke my arm when I had ask him to play...
    96Samuel96 96Samuel96 18-21, M 1 day ago

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    Finding out that someone else within the family was abused by the same person as I was as a child breaks my ******* heart. I would never wish abuse of any sort on my worst enemy...
    herebutinvisible herebutinvisible 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 21

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    I cheated on my husband, then i left him. He was mean, and I'm tired of repeating the details, but by mean I intend to say that he fits into many of the descriptors of an...
    Regrets472 Regrets472 26-30, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I cheated on my husband, then i left him. He was mean, and I'm tired of repeating the details, but by mean I intend to say that he fits into many of the descriptors of an...
    Regrets472 Regrets472 26-30, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I cheated on my husband, then i left him. He was mean, and I'm tired of repeating the details, but by mean I intend to say that he fits into many of the descriptors of an...
    Regrets472 Regrets472 26-30, F a week ago

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    I wish she instead asked, " Are a Child Abuse Survivor". It is a Statement. How she made it a choice for all. I was never ABUSED as a Child. My Abuse began when I was 35.
    paradisequeen paradisequeen 41-45, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Boy everyone here is really taking a stand. Ooooh you are against child abuse! So edgy! How can you stand to be so daring?? Does this even need to be said? Does anyone like child...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 3

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    I was sexually abused and raped by my cousin age 2-14, my dad was murdered when I was 7, my brother who is 12 years older then me physically abused me, I was drugged and raped in...
    claireoblast claireoblast 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 4

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    Im now 9 years using the internet. I was trying to put my feelings on EP, other forums online, but i met rarelly any victims of abuse.Either they have shame to come out and talk...
    angel8i angel8i 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 8

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