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I Have Abused My Body

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,729 People

    Self harm, substance abuse,

    starving, binge eating, reckless behaviour. Miss them all.
    iaintcomingupwithausername iaintcomingupwithausername 18-21, F Aug 17

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    Where Do I Start.

    When i was young i was used to skate. Inline. I got first place in competition in a local skate park. If you don't fall you aren't trying hard enough was the general theme of this period of my life. During this time i also played drums. Bad for the wrists. Then i picked up...
    PreferAnAstronaut PreferAnAstronaut 22-25, M Jul 2, 2011

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    I've been a cutter since I was 12 years old.

    My life isn't the worse, but i didn't have the greatest childhood. Cutting got rid of the pain.
    babykaykez19 babykaykez19 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 27

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    I am so blessed to still be alive!

    For years I was a drug addict and alcoholic. The veins in my arms collapsed and hid under the muscles so that now, after being clean for over 7 years, the doctors can't draw blood using the usual procedure. Last time I had blood work done the nurses stuck me 4 times before...
    somerbunni703 somerbunni703 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 20

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    I have abused my body

    so much and it's only been on earth for seventeen years . I have cut , scratched , smoked , drugged and many more , I let my body be ruined , scars everywhere , the drugs and alcohol who know what they've done to my body , I'm starved for days , purged everything I ate , let...
    brookieboo8090 brookieboo8090 16-17, F 2 Responses May 16

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    Cut💨 Scratched💨 Bitten💨 Burned💨 Starved💨 Bruised💨 Scarred.... You name it and I've probably done it. I have been self harming since the age of seven and still continue to do it to this day. I've always been alone😔 and always will be. My mother hates...
    XxBellabixtch49xX XxBellabixtch49xX 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    Yep

    I've slit my wrists I've tried to die, I've smothered myself I've carved names into my skin. The funny thing is the marks fade the memories don't. You would not guess I have this darkness if you saw me I am happy you would think that I am a good kid because I hide my real self...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 13, 2013

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    At the moment I'm feeling

    so f*cking angry that for the first time in YEARS I'm thinking about cutting myself again. Goddamnit, I'm lost for words right now and that's the reason why I feel like hurting myself. Why can't my mom be only ONCE the f*cking adult of the two of us?! Why am I always giving in...
    Sorfarina Sorfarina 26-30, F 1 Response May 31

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    I use to cut.........

    .................
    thatonegirl156 thatonegirl156 16-17, F Jul 29

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    My body has become a symbol

    for who I am. I'm so small showing my deepest desire to slip away into nothingness. I have cut my arms to mar the skin as if to be a constant reminder of the failure I constant am. But the scars don't remain they go away so I continue to suffer in my pain and loneliness. The...
    PoetGirl97 PoetGirl97 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 8

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    With the type of work I do,

    my knees are almost "shot". I still have a good, strong back, but my joints are starting to ache due to the line of work I do. I should have taken better care of myself, and I do now by working out and exercising.
    BobFrost BobFrost 36-40, M May 4

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    Your body is sacred. Don't give it away to

    anyone who can finesse you for the moment. You'll feel used and empty. Even though you want to be connected make him work for you. Know your worth. Look how hard you work to be you, no one deserves that in one second.
    healthybeautysquad healthybeautysquad 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 29

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    I have only eaten 140 calories today

    and cut up both my arms. I can't take this. Time to drink and take sleeping pills. Sleep is the closest I can come to death so lets sleep.
    blahlahblah599 blahlahblah599 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    I Missed My Razor

    My razor.. Some Poeple might refer to it as there best friend. It was mine. Then I just threw it away like it was nothing. It kept calling to me and the urge became stronger and stronger Until I lost. Until I cut. The blade won. I cut. Tonight I cut. That blade.. The pain.. Was...
    GuardianAngel9400 GuardianAngel9400 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 15, 2012

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    Rampage

    the sad truth about life is that the diseas know as humanity is a struggle. a cruel fight for your life. the victor loses him or herself in the procces sometimes. the loser goes through a perssonal hell everyday. thinking about what could have been. what should have been. they...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 29, 2012

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    "i Have Abused My Body"

    i know anyone reading this might be sick of hearing the same stories over and over, and it probably won't matter you, but i guess it helps to type on here rather than talk where somebody can judge you, i have bulimia, and i know its wrong, but started cutting myself a few months...
    alishhaaa alishhaaa 16-17 2 Responses Nov 27, 2011

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    I Did It All... Almost

    In my on darkness... I had did much abuse to myself, in response to the abuse I suffered from others. It doesn't make sense nor am I proud of it! I have hurt myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. :-/ I use to cut myself, throw myself in walls in rage...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 4, 2009

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    Living With This Fate..

    It's nothing I am proud of believe me, but sometimes I feel there is no other way. I love pain and always have apparently. I used to get beat and my dad left and I start beating myself, kinda ****** up and I don't know it started, but I feel like it is never going to stop. I like...
    SecretSpirit SecretSpirit 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 14, 2011

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    I used to abuse my body.

    I cut, i hit, i punch walls just to feel pain. But then i realized how stupid i was. Appreciate your body, what you have. Appreciate what God has given you. If you feel like cutting i suggest you get a journal and express your feelings in the journal instead of cutting. Say no...
    nanantsha nanantsha 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 12

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    I have done some questionable

    and painful things to my body. I don't think I have it in me to take care of a body I don't want or care about. I should care but I honestly don't.
    poeticdiva poeticdiva 22-25, F 3 Responses May 19

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    Everyday It Seems

    I cut my arms and repeat the cut in the same spot, going as deep as I can before the pain makes me drop the knife. I've made my own cat--nine tails whip, which i fling over my shoulders onto my back. I take thumb tacks and jab them into my legs through my pants. I punch myself...
    Rysdullieth Rysdullieth 18-21, M 2 Responses May 17, 2010

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    Not Sure Where To Start

    To be honest i'm not sure what to say on here but i want to get this out somewhere, For a number of years now i have abused my body, it started with burning myself by putting my cigarettes out on my arms when the pain inside was just to much, almost like a relief almost like...
    pleaseneverfindout pleaseneverfindout 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 7, 2011

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    And I'm Amazed At The Recovery!

    When it comes to doing dumb things and taking way too many chances by keeping that atttitude of adolescent invincablitiy for far too long, I'm sure there are some with bigger and better stories, but I doubt there are many. In my case, when I turned 40, I knew it was time to...
    AlbertSAT AlbertSAT 66-70, M 2 Responses Jun 13, 2011

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    I Used To Cut Myself.

    It was stupid I was a teenager and I felt like I deserved it. I still have the scars on my forearm.. they get itchy sometimes, especially irritated when my arm rubs against my bosoms while I tye on my computer at work if I'm wearing a thick sweater. its so annoying. I wish I...
    DecemberLady DecemberLady 22-25, F 2 Responses May 6, 2012

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    It Has Been Through A Lot.

    I have been abusing my body for along time. Internal and external. When I was 9 I started cutting my left calf. Luckily, all the scars have faded by now. You can only see the remnants of them in the dark under a light . I moved onto my wrist when I was about 11. My left wrist has...
    KawaiiDoll KawaiiDoll 18-21, F 1 Response May 28, 2011

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    Self Mutilation.

    I have cut since sophomore year of high school. I just finished my junior year of college. I have been in and out of eating disorders since sophomore year of high school. First semester this passed school year, I started uncontrollably drinking in the middle of the day out of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jun 9, 2012

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    Right Index Finger

    Winter is coming and my right index finger will be turning white soon. It's because when I was about 13 I decided to hold my finger in ice water for a long time. I thought it would kill the nerves and have to be amputated and then I would "have an excuse" and people would feel...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 27, 2012

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    My Problem

    I have trictotilimania (probably spelled that wrong) which means I obsessively pull out my hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, ect. I don't know what to do.
    leftykat8 leftykat8 16-17, F 4 Responses Nov 17, 2009

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    i binge eat. i starve.

    i slide razors on my skin. i go hungry for days. i cry till my face tingles so vigorously it goes numb. i stick with people who can break my heart. i go through situations that has a bad influence on my mind. i have abused my body … 🔫
    meowshelbs meowshelbs 16-17, F Jul 11

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    My New Blog..

    This is the first time I decided to tell the world about how I truly feel on the inside, dunno if I'll be able to though.. Wel if anyone's interested, check it out: justashadow.blog.com Maybe it will help :)
    niaa niaa 18-21, F Mar 30, 2013

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    My Bodies Punishment.

    I made my body suffer for events in my life I blamed myself for. For such a long time I blamed myself and as a consequence punished myself. I abused alcohol and drugs, I self harmed and I had an eating disorder. Even though I have come out the winner from these battles I did...
    randomdriftwood randomdriftwood 21-25, F 4 Responses Aug 4, 2007

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    A Girl's Best Friend!

    A girl's best friend that's how i used to see the blade. Everytime something would go wrong i would cut myslef led myself to bleed and for a a little while all my worries would disappear. My counsellor used to say that was my way of coping with things happening around me and i...
    bornconfused bornconfused 18-21, F 12 Responses Oct 31, 2012

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    I've done pretty much everything to harm my

    body. I cut myself for eight years, ate too much, ate too little and did drugs. I'm literally scarred for life. Only about one year ago I started to feel all the pain I did to my body. I felt and still feel so deeply sorry for her. This was the point in my life when the...
    Sorfarina Sorfarina 26-30, F 2 Responses May 19

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    Your Personal Pleasure Doll

    Play with me, use me, do whatever you want. I can pleasure you, I can fulfill your needs. Just tell me what to do and you'll have it. I was stupid. No, I'm still stupid up to now. I was a s/ut, a wh0re, name it. I give my body to strangers or friends. I let them use me. I even...
    GirlWithThePWSBM GirlWithThePWSBM 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 13, 2013

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    Here We Go Again!

    I've shared my story of why and how I started and then stopped cutting. Truth is the urge is coming back and im having a hard time dealing with it. I feel like **** for the fact I can't stop thinking about putting something in my arm that will feel me better if U want. I feel...
    bornconfused bornconfused 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 24, 2013

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    I Still ..

    Cut my wrists but I just hide it better .
    morganx97 morganx97 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 23, 2013

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    For some who have switched religions

    or have started eating healthy, taking care of themselves, treating their bodies as temples. To that I say, this what makes this country great, because I treat my body like an amusement park.
    Dantescircle Dantescircle 36-40, M 2 Responses Aug 20

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    The Young Me

    The young me was very naive, easily manipulated, gullible and quite often stupid; yet I was a very quiet, soft spoken, recluse child. I had somewhat of a difficult childhood and certain things I was unable to cope or deal with. I have abused my body in several ways, as means to...
    wildonedreaming wildonedreaming 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 26, 2012

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    Burned, cut, scraped,

    bruised, you name it. I have been a self mutilator since I was 9 or 10. I started getting serious in seventh grade. By serious I mean actual self harming. I would give myself second degree burns, cut to where you could see past the white layer of skin and leave large gashes, and...
    IamMorbid IamMorbid 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 5

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    I have many scars from self infliction.

    I was a drug addict, I was a cutter, I would punch walls, I would burn myself with my lite cigarettes, I'd punch myself in the face etc. I felt better if I caused pain to myself, and man do I have the scars to prove it. I don't do all the stuff anymore I fight my way not to hurt...
    UnstableSammi UnstableSammi 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    I overcame abusing my body

    when is was 12 years old. I used to cut the back of my thighs because I didn't want anyone to see my pain. I had a tough time with my home life and bullying. Things got out of my control and I panicked and began to cut myself. I regret doing that and if I could go back and re do...
    oliviathesmall oliviathesmall 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 17

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    Soul And Body

    Voluntary and involuntary. Most of the times my body is hurt from falling up stairs or off of stages or tripping over my own feet. My poor body even has to endure walking into poles, tables, chairs, walls and trees (in my defence, the trees jump in front of me). Or my hair...
    Floydess Floydess 18-21, F Aug 25, 2012

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    Dont Stop

    My body is abused by myself I scratch at my skin till theirs blood I cut nyself until all my thoughts are drained I don't feed it I don't let it drink it's suffering and it's because of me
    Shayalex Shayalex 18-21 1 Response Jan 9, 2013

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    Not In The Physical Sense

    I would never intentionally harm myself physically, but sometimes I wonder if not taking care of yourself is a kind of self abuse. I've used alcohol and cigarettes to fill in the blanks in my life, if that makes any sense. I don't drink hard liquor or get wasted, and I only do it...
    455cargirl 455cargirl 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 10, 2013

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    My Body Is A Temple

    My behavioursDon't do it any favours.My bad habitsAnnoy it.A future immersed in formaldehydeAwaits my traits.Poisons, burns,I've treasonously filled it with germs.I've starved it, carved it and laughed at it.And worse,I tried to outsmart it.
    CrookedMan CrookedMan 46-50 Jan 17, 2011

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    Bad food, hard drinks,

    questionable drugs, sharp knives, ice, fire, needles, and just plain wearing it down...each of these things hasn't killed me and therefore makes me stronger, tougher, but also bitter and scarred. It's amazing what a human can live through. I haven't had a bullet yet, but I'm...
    Sinjintiger Sinjintiger 41-45, M Jul 8

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    Sorry, Body

    I kind of feel bad, really, when I think over it all. Whoever or whatever being or bad luck put me in this body must be really pissed off at the way I've treated it thus far into my life. From when I was young and used to romp around with my sisters or my friends, skinning...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 3, 2011

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    More Than Anyone Will Ever Know.

    Iv abused my body beyond what anyone around me could think, since age 8 Iv hurt myself, inflicting pain when I couldnt cope, banging my head untill I became unconscious, ripping my hair out, digging my nails into my skin, but as I got older it got worse, I began cutting and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    "It's Been a While Since I Could Say That I Wasn't Addicted and It's Been a While Since I Could Say I Love Myself As Well."

    I'd always assumed the inclination toward self-destruction started when I was thirteen, when I woke up that morning on April the first, and suddenly found myself without the will to live. I'd always thought I had been okay prior to that morning. When I think on it, though, I...
    SheistheLorax SheistheLorax 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 2, 2009

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    I have been at both extreme

    and still am near an extreme I have cut but now I abuse my body with the amount of work and training I but it through If anyone has any ideas how I can relax more without saying just not doing it, that probably would help because I'm always exhausted and I don't think it's to...
    ryanmona ryanmona 18-21, M Jul 8

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    Related Experiences

    Ever since I was 14/15, I've always felt like I am not supposed to be male. I feel almost as if my body and mind are out of sync, like my mind is closer to female than male, but my...
    spartanlord1014 spartanlord1014 18-21, M 6 days ago

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    So much built up tension was released the other day, i had so much going round in my head and it had to all come out. I have sat for 15 years and observed, and listened and taken...
    Gentleandlovingsoul Gentleandlovingsoul 36-40, F 5 days ago

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    So I couldn't sleep for 2 days straight and I tried to fall asleep by I taking so much sleeping drugs and washed it down with alcohol and I was just going insane. In about 40 mins...
    Angrysalads Angrysalads 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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