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I Have An Eating Disorder

This isn't a "pro" Eating Disorder (ED) Group. If you are "pro-ANA" or "pro-MIA" this Group isn't for you. This group is here for healing and helping. 3,024 People

    RECOVERING...

    I have struggled with bulimia for30 years on and off. (I am 47) Finally this past December I joined a group through my HMO for EDO people. 2 therapists lead the group & we learn "Cognitive behavioral therapy" which I have never been a believer in. I've also been...
    RebeccaRSR RebeccaRSR 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 29, 2008

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    Ok so last night I saw my friend do Cinderella

    ballet. Well after that her family took me and my other friend to dinner......at 11 pm. We went to Denny's and it was the first time I've been to a restaurant with out my parents since I've came home. Well never really been to Denny's at got two pancakes. Well eating the first...
    broadwaybabe99 broadwaybabe99 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 29

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    I Cant Eat Till Im Full and Keep My Food Down.

    In my family being full up is a sign of a good meal.  like after every sunday roast my dad always leans back in his chair pats his stomach proudly and says something about being full and how good a meal it was. Im not sure if I have ever liked being full like the rest...
    pine90apple pine90apple 18-21, F 4 Responses May 13, 2009

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    I recently found a few Pro-ana

    and Mia websites, it's like it flipped a switch in my head that has been dormant for some time. Mia and Ana came back louder then ever, and it's hard to obey both of them! Mia tells me to eat and purge while Ana SCREAMS to starve. It's been three days since my last purge, at...
    FarrahRelates FarrahRelates 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    Ive been greeting help

    but it's hard a hard road to travail on when your bulimic
    Imbatgirl Imbatgirl 22-25, F Apr 2

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    I find my biggest confliction with my eating

    disorder is my weed habit. I smoke pot for my insomnia/depression and I love it. I was on a whole bunch of meds that made me feel zombified and actually pushed me to try to commit suicide, marijuana is an amazing alternative to that. But sadly pot does give me MAJOR munchies...
    FarrahRelates FarrahRelates 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    So usually it goes along the lines of overeat,

    eat only a little bit, spend a day having nothing UNTIL right at the end where I finally snap, but oddly enough, i'm about to go to sleep and I haven't touched a piece of food. I feel kinda happy about that, to be honest. :)
    Narfypoitzort Narfypoitzort 18-21, F Apr 9

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    How Do You Tell Someone.

    How do you tell someone that your worst nightmare is gaining just alittle bit of weight. Or you're afraid to to eat something due to the calories in it. How do you tell someone that you have been making your self throw up every time after you eat! Binging then purging for hours...
    CowgurlLexi CowgurlLexi 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 21, 2013

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    ''when U Feel Out Of Control''

    Remind yourself "I'm going to be ok" and "I'm not crazy"... this is a normal part of the recovery process Plant your feet firmly on the ground Count up 1 to 10 then back 10 to 1 Say out loud things you see and smell Touch the wall, the floor and objects close to you...
    amysangels amysangels 22-25, F 17 Responses Dec 11, 2010

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    Wanna Know What It Feels Like? Wanna Know How Much It Hurts?

    Step into a tanning booth and fry yourself for two or three days. After your skin bubbles and peels off, roll in coarse salt, then pull on long underwear woven from spun glass and razor wire. Smoke gunpowder and go to school to jump through hoops, sit up and beg, and roll over on...
    NotTheAmericanAveragexx NotTheAmericanAveragexx 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2013

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    Eating Disorders/ My Life And Eating Disorders

    Why do people get eating disorders? IN my opinion, it has nothing to do with losing weight, but is to do with control, because food is one of the only things you can control in your life. You can choose to eat, or choose not to, but in reality it's a slow long drawn out suicide...
    roadofdarkness roadofdarkness 36-40 1 Response May 27, 2012

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    I'm tired of this cycle diet > cheating >

    purging > diet and so on. I eat 1300 cal a day and burn 400 at the gym and can't seem to keep this diet going no more than a month of gluten free, no canola oil, no corn, no soy, no sugar unless from fruits; I use truvia. I just want to be 10lbs lighter I'm 5'5 and 130 I'm not...
    domezainparis domezainparis 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    Ana And Mia

    Ana and Mia, a friendly word to call anorexia and bulimia. Both are devastating me, both are waiting for me around the corner ready to jump into my life. Ana, she is so quiet; she is so discrete, but so powerful. She dominates my thoughts, she dominates Mia. She set the rules...
    petitalexange petitalexange 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 24, 2013

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    Now I'm nearly 30 and I was pretty sure this

    **** would be over by now. I actually have a healthy-ish diet now because I worry about my health too much and I can't hold down my job and indulge my desire to starve. So I eat - but generally I hate myself and feel guilty when I dont exercise enough, and it is never enough...
    tenyearsonstillhurting tenyearsonstillhurting 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    500 calories a day. I should eat no more

    than 500 a day, but always push for less. I am gaining control. I need to be 45kg again. I WILL.
    discoveringisabel discoveringisabel 13-15, F Apr 5

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    A comment was made about my "rolls" today

    and honestly I haven't stopped thinking about it since. It wasn't made in any harmful manner but it stuck. While I know my friend was joking it absolutely made me feel like ****. I definitely did not eat anymore after that moment. Afterwords I really wanted to go in a dark...
    jasonpw jasonpw 16-17, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I Wrote This a Year Ago...

    And I hate this vicious cycle that has come to be. This strong urge keeps coming over me. Thought I could stop it, but it keeps coming back. This “disease” is just a self inflicted attack. I’ve been in denial for...
    thethingitself thethingitself 16-17 2 Responses Nov 11, 2008

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    the

    stuffing/puking/stuffing/puking/stuffing/puking didn't make her skinny, it made her cry
    Skirefly Skirefly 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 2

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    I am at war... with myself.

    Actually, it's more like tug-of-war. My Life is in a long game of tug-of-war with My Body (either way, I consider myself a soldier, but you can think of me however you'd like). Like many wars (and games) there is always the main initiator or problem around which it revolves...
    Amsch95 Amsch95 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 28

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    Waste

    I eat  and throw up when I feel depressed.  I know this is wrong but I cannot seem to stop it.  It's a waste of money and bad for my health but sometimes I don't even provoke it, I just feel nausea after eating and I have to let it out.  This time is even...
    shitsuren shitsuren 26-30, F 4 Responses Apr 18, 2007

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    I'm seriously crying.

    Just because I'm very cautious with my food I eat doesn't mean I'm not grateful for the food. But no one understands what it like to be scared if food. Geez people can be so mean on here
    broadwaybabe99 broadwaybabe99 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 25

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    I have never truly came out about my eating

    disorder. I have been on and off with anorexia for a while. I recently became bulimic and I also binge eat a lot. I'm 17 and gay and want someone who has a similar struggle with this. You can message me or kick me at:ryanboy1996
    rchris96 rchris96 16-17, M 1 day ago

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    Will It Ever End?

    When I was 16 I went on a diet to lose a couple of pounds.  I wasn't overweight, mind you, just wanted to do something right for my mom.  She has always had a hard time showing me love, and nothing I ever did seemed good enough for her.  I lost about 10 pounds and...
    Jynx Jynx 31-35, F 25 Responses Jul 1, 2007

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    Hi, I just need to get this off my chest

    because it's been weighing on my brain. My dad constantly weighs me, tells me to lose weight, and takes away my food. I've lost about 40 pounds and am 5'10 and 112 pounds. I'm hoping to get small enough for him so he will love me like he loves my brothers. That's all. Thanks
    wanderlustblaire wanderlustblaire 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    sarah3232 sarah3232 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 28

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    I Love You

    While looking in the mirror staring into my own eyes and I could barely say it. My body convulsed and I started having a panic attack. I was crying and shaking.This happened to me a few weeks ago when I was at my psychiatric appointment. The doctor had ask me to do it and I was...
    nothingfollows nothingfollows 51-55, F 1 Response Mar 21, 2013

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    Absence. I've been gone due to my eating

    disorder and its repurcussions. I apologize to my friends.
    Toukos Toukos 18-21 Apr 11

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    My anxiety is going haywire with all the stress

    from exams and negative experiences with other people, and I can't tell if my dietary habits are getting better or worse. I averaged about 700 calories before university started and now I eat either that amount, or around 2000 (which stresses me out even more). Why is being...
    Skadiv Skadiv 18-21 1 Response Apr 9

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    Well my dad used to tell me off

    for eating. I always had a revved up metabolism which continued well into my teens. I could rival any teenage boy. But I was active- I never missed an opportunity to try out a sport. I trained for karate 3-4 times a week, walked everywhere and was hoping to join the military...
    NekroNomikon NekroNomikon 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    I've used the binge/purge cycle

    since I've been 14. Recently I found drugs and an easier way to lose weight and I was 5'5" 123 lbs. I went to rehab and now I weigh 150. And i can't get this weight off and it's literally killing me.
    coolbeansdani coolbeansdani 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    Lying In Weight

    I suffered from anorexia nervosa as a teenager. You may have heard that before. You may be like me. I fell into that cadre of teens in the 1980’s, who followed the Jane Fonda doctrine of compulsive fitness. Ever the overachiever, I starved and exercised as well as I, a premed...
    tgura tgura 46, F 13 Responses Jul 2, 2007

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    I threw up multiple times a day every day from

    the time I was 15 until I was 20. I was 5'10 and weighed 103 lbs at one point and I remember being so pleased that I could fit into quadruple 0 skinny jeans at hot topic. People would say I was too skinny but I took it as a compliment, I could barely move most of the time and...
    Tak88 Tak88 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 28

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    Every time I start to have progress.

    .... I fall back in the b/p cycle. I just want to be skinny. :'(
    looking4wonderland looking4wonderland 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 24

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    There is a girl who sits next to me in my

    ceramics class and I always thought she must be a lot younger than me. She is really really short and tiny. Today, I talked to her for the first time and she is actually my age. She was born with multiple organs outside of her body and only one ear.. She told me all about her...
    SadKittenOnLine SadKittenOnLine 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 23

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    I've had an ED for about a year

    and a few months now. I'm not exactly sure, though... But since I started starving myself, binging and purging, over exercising and everything I've lost a significant amount of weight, but I feel worse about myself now than I did before. It's always "I'm so fat. Why am I just...
    sarahjade123 sarahjade123 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    You'd Think....

    after so many good days, weeks, months, really, i am having one hell of a bad food day.  i know that i have to eat to stay well, but at this moment, i cannot force myself to.  the specter of the "perfect 24" hours without food is hanging, only 7 hours away...
    SunnyKris SunnyKris 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 24, 2007

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    Stuck In It

    I can't feel... I can't sleep... I can't think... damn it feels like I can barely breathe at all! My mind is empty and my heart's just missing. I'm such a quitter. I got afraid, and went back again. I retreated or relapsed or whatever you call it. Even though I am supposed to...
    inhale123exhale inhale123exhale 18-21, F 10 Responses Mar 2, 2011

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    Hoping For The Best

    I'm 15 years old, almost 16. All my life I've moved backwards and fowards between my back-country farm in New Zealand and my glitzy city life in Paris. As a result i never really fit in that much anywhere. But things all got worse one year ago. I had always been a good student...
    Liptongal Liptongal 16-17, F 3 Responses May 4, 2012

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    I Had An Eating Disorder

    Im Stefanie, im 15, barely 5'2" and im finally able to say im a recovered anorexic. i was anorexic for 2 years of my life because i felt worthless. Every guy i had ever liked told me i was hideous and ugly and gross and i believed them. then, being the dumb, 13 year old girl i...
    wishingforrecovery wishingforrecovery 16-17, F Sep 8, 2013

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    Day three of my fast,

    broken. My boyfriend had a day off from work and he's with me all day, 24/7. I was able to blow off breakfast and lunch but he insisted we went grocery shopping an forced me to eat with him. I feel disgusting and awful, I couldn't pure all of it up, not while he is down my neck...
    FarrahRelates FarrahRelates 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    I purged, but didn't technically binge.

    I just got scared after having honey with chia pudding. 😷 I smell like puke and so does my whole room. I am a mess.
    discoveringisabel discoveringisabel 13-15, F Apr 5

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    Love/hate Relationship

    I purposely skipped a meal for the first time when I was twelve. It felt good knowing I could control something. My parents were divorced but still were (and are) bitterly battling each other, my sister was extremely wild (and still is), I was teased a...
    yisrael yisrael 18-21, F Feb 25, 2009

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    Bulimia And Anorexia Define Me

    It gives me a high, a sense of accomplishment. Food is evil. Throwing up is like throwing out all the evil, it's like all bad energy is leaving your body, you feel refreshed and new. people say bulimia is like a prison or like a hell, but bulimia is my heaven. Hell is eating...
    abbywhitaker abbywhitaker 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 11, 2010

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    Fading Away Day By Day.

    I have always have problems with eating disorders in my life... Last year I began to get much better, I began to eat healthy, became more energetic and fortunate! everything was great, I ate what I wanted and did not care about any calories, it was all so great, I felt so...
    Fezzii Fezzii 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2013

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    I have an eating disorder,

    but know one in my family takes me seriously. I know I have Binge Eating Disorder and I have had it for a long time now. I can't stop putting food in my mouth. I eat normal meals with my family, but then I sneak food between meals and at night. I have food stashed everywhere in...
    Marisa67002 Marisa67002 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    The Road To Recovery And Life After

    The biggest loser, Dr.Oz,Herbal Magic ,Weight Watchers these are just a few of the people that stole my money and infected my brain for years. I was in a game and at war with my weight and the scale, the addiction had taken over and ED became my friend, my Best friend. Watching...
    christymello christymello 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 13, 2013

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    Help !

    i have struggled with my weight my whole life. i am now at a 'healthy weight' . it takes a lot for me just to maintain it, but i want to loose more. i cant help it. i weight myself all the time, and i go for days without really eating anything, then days when i binge eat. i...
    daxil daxil 31-35, F 8 Responses Jun 28, 2010

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    I was in 3rd grade when my best friend moved

    across the country. I began emotional over eating and gained 64 pounds. I was obese for my age and everyone at my tiny private school knew it. I was bullied for years until 6th grade in March I decided I needed to leave. My parents transferred me to a large public school and...
    BrittneyJean15 BrittneyJean15 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 1

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    Anorexia And Bulimia.

    Ive been struggling with eating disordered behaviors for 11 years that have run the gamut from restricting, binging and purging, laxative abuse, ipecac syrup on one occasion, and over exercizing. I pretty much have it beat except for the occasional relapse when i feel the need to...
    Lilcuppa Lilcuppa 70+ 6 Responses Sep 19, 2012

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    I'm 32 years old, 5'3 & 96lbs.

    I just don't eat. I'm a single mom of two and I think the stress I've been going through caused me to relapse. I was doing good for almost 6 years. I felt healthy but fat at 115lbs. Now I'm down to about 300 calories a day. I feel weak lately and I'm scared that I'm doing damage...
    SuzieChapstick SuzieChapstick 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    Need to lose more weight

    but all I seem to do is lose myself whilst trying!!
    LoraJane LoraJane 22-25, F Apr 3

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    My daughter's birthday is the same day

    as my recovery birthday. When I tell people that my daughter my angel, I mean exactly that. When she was born, it was the happiest day of my life. Recently, she had her third birthday. Her third birthday and 5 years of ED recovery for me. Every year of her birthday, I am...
    Inherownwords Inherownwords 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    So, I think my anorexia is coming back.

    I've been eating a lot recently, but throwing it all up. I'm sick of doing that. All I want is to be skinny. I hate myself and when I look in the mirror, I feel disgusting. Honestly, I don't think my eating disorder really ever went away, I just kept it at bay. But now, I...
    just1a2girl3 just1a2girl3 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 3

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    Umm... Where Do I Begin Or Where Did I Begin?

    Okay, well, I have strugled with bulimia for almost two years now.  I've struggled with anorexia for eight months.  I have lost so many things to this eating disorder.  I regret doing it everyday.  Yet it's so hard to stop.  I started at 130 pounds. ...
    Arisha09 Arisha09 16-18, F 19 Responses Apr 8, 2007

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    I have gone weeks without eating a single bite.

    I have no clue why I do this. I mean I'm small. Like 4'0" and weigh around 95 pounds. It's not like I'm overweight. I just do it.
    Samchezz Samchezz 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    ...and I Am Still Overweight

    I am obsessed with putting food into my mouth. I haven't even finished chewing my first bite before I am thinking about the next. I am also thinking about how much I will need to throw up after I am done eating. I stay up later than I want to so that no one will hear me puking. I...
    sammy sammy 21-25, F 2 Responses Jun 12, 2007

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    I'm so pissed! I went to the doctors

    and I lost two pounds with in a day. My doctor is like if you keep loosing we'll send you back to treatment. Next week is your last chance to gain weight. Like come on! I do eat, I no longer do my behaviors! You're blaming me for loosing weight well that's not my fault. Then...
    broadwaybabe99 broadwaybabe99 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 28

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