I Have An Eating Disorder

This isn't a "pro" Eating Disorder (ED) Group. If you are "pro-ANA" or "pro-MIA" this Group isn't for you. This group is here for healing and helping. 4,424 People

    I honest to god don't remember the last time

    I've had a healthy relationship with food. It's either I'm scared of it and my mind convinces me I'm not worthy of eating, or I eat so much that I can't move.
    houseofgold houseofgold
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 26, 2016

    Umm... Where Do I Begin Or Where Did I Begin?

    Okay, well, I have strugled with bulimia for almost two years now.  I've struggled with anorexia for eight months.  I have lost so many things to this eating disorder.  I regret doing it everyday.  Yet it's so hard to stop.  I started at 130 pounds. ...
    Arisha09 Arisha09
    18-21, F
    19 Responses Apr 8, 2007

    I get the impulse to eat even

    after I've gotten full. It becomes so strong it's all I can think about. It's caused my weight to balloon up to a massive weight and I also Have bulimia because it makes me feel so bad that I eat so much. My family doesn't know but I've been trying to get better. I hate it, I...
    GothicSkeleton GothicSkeleton
    16-17, F
    Mar 12, 2016

    I relapsed into anorexia about two months ago.

    I've lost about 12 pounds in less than two weeks, I'm cold all of the time and I abuse amphetamines. Religiously. Trying to be happier.
    twisteduniverse twisteduniverse
    22-25, F
    Feb 15, 2016


    Indigo27 Indigo27
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Apr 8, 2016

    i just could really use some support rn.

    idk what triggered it, but my ed seems to be getting worse again. it's completely consumed me. i can't stop purging & i'm compelled to lose 10 more lbs which i dont think i can survive. my bmi rn is 13.5 & i was content w that for a while but now i just want to whither away. i...
    cymmetry cymmetry
    22-25, T
    Mar 5, 2016

    It's not a "cool" new thing it's a genuine

    problem. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy and if sickens me that people treat disorders as a trend or as though I made a choice and in some cases people even wish they had them. I would do anything to get back the years I've wasted. You can lose all the weight in the world...
    Nethaly Nethaly
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 26, 2014

    I feel so guilty after eating everything I put

    in my mouth, even water. I feel so lonely every time all day. I wish there's someone who knew how I felt and just don't nag at me every time I don't eat.. Anyone up for a chat? In the age of 13-18?
    LookAtThatLlama LookAtThatLlama
    16-17, F
    6 Responses Apr 28, 2015

    I try to get better and i try to eat

    but everyone makes it impossible right when me, my brother, and my mom came home my dad started yelling at my brother for no reason and then threatened to hit my mom and then any appetite i had was ruined every time i try to eat my dad starts yelling and starts threatening to...
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123
    13-15, F
    Mar 11, 2016

    I'm not sur if I really have an eating disorder,

    but, sometimes when I eat to much, I feel bad ´cause I havé à stomach ache, but I also feel bad because I dont want to gain weight. So at that moment I sometimes think of making me throw up. I never did it but sometimes I really think of it and it kinda scares me.
    PokeNams PokeNams
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 17, 2016

    I'm in trouble and need immediate support.

    .. Long story short, I'mtrying to quit my habit I have done for years, eating something bad when I get mad. problem is, when I can't escape the situation, like now, how do I replace this habit? (No time to exit the situation I or go for a walk or whatever. )
    WeirdHammer WeirdHammer
    51-55, F
    3 Responses Feb 21, 2016

    The hardest part is probably all the people

    who try to help and it just makes it harder. I don't want to even think about it myself, let alone talk about it all the time.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Apr 1, 2016

    I am looking for a friend,

    gender/location/age doesn't matter as long as you won't hurt my feelings. I'm struggling with eating disorder and anxiety. I can be supportive and my illness does not define me. I don't have anyone around me currently and this loneliness slowly kills me. xx
    veronicarosy veronicarosy
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jul 28, 2015

    I have always been so self concious of my weight

    and was bullied when I was younger about it. I've got to the point now where i just find my body disgusting. Last year i started purging and i know how bad it is but no matter how hard i try to stop doing it the urge is to strong. It's not bulimia because i don't binge. I will...
    lunamoon135 lunamoon135
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 23, 2016

    Lying In Weight

    I suffered from anorexia nervosa as a teenager. You may have heard that before. You may be like me. I fell into that cadre of teens in the 1980’s, who followed the Jane Fonda doctrine of compulsive fitness. Ever the overachiever, I starved and exercised as well as I, a premed...
    tgura tgura
    46-50, F
    13 Responses Jul 2, 2007

    Fading Away Day By Day.

    I have always have problems with eating disorders in my life... Last year I began to get much better, I began to eat healthy, became more energetic and fortunate! everything was great, I ate what I wanted and did not care about any calories, it was all so great, I felt so...
    Fezzii Fezzii
    18-21, F
    7 Responses Nov 13, 2013

    I've been doing great

    for the past six months. But today something changed. The dark cloud appeared in my head and behind my eyes and the anger came back. I'm angry at myself and everyone else and everything. The dark, dark thoughts are back. Perhaps they'll go away again when I'm finished dealing...
    kayla459 kayla459
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jan 30, 2016

    is there anyone here whos eating disorder has a

    lot 2 do w gender dysphoria? i cant handle having curves or looking like a "woman" or having a period. being severely underweight calms my gender dysphoria a bit.
    cymmetry cymmetry
    22-25, T
    2 Responses Feb 16, 2016

    After 2 years of being absolutely fine,

    I have relapsed into my old ways, don't even recognise myself anymore.
    breakersflow breakersflow
    22-25, F
    Apr 13, 2016
    jackjack600 jackjack600
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jul 27, 2014

    Sometimes I try to eat what a normal person

    would. I really do. But then the fears come back and I can't do it any longer.
    eemoo eemoo
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Mar 22, 2016

    I've decided today, that im going to fight this

    eating disorder... I'm not gonna let it win... I've talked with my sister and she's gonna help plan healthy meals for me. Taking into account healthy calorie and fat intake. I'm not gonna let this illness consume me. I want to get out! I want to rise from the ashes and become...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile
    22-25, M
    3 Responses May 4, 2015

    Hi, I kinda need to say what I keep keeping

    to myself, and here is the only place I could think of to express all this. So yeah, I know that I don't eat like everybody, I'm aware I have a bit of an " eating disorder " but I don't consider myself as an ana. I just, keep my weight low, control how many kcal I eat a day...
    BleedingPanda BleedingPanda
    22-25, M
    Apr 20, 2016

    One of my teachers pulled me aside the other day

    and asked if I've been eating. I'm in recovery. I don't know how to react to that.
    galaxyle galaxyle
    18-21, F
    Mar 3, 2015

    OMG can I please eat a ******* apple with out

    hating myself?? What the **** ED can you please leave me alone?!?!? FUCKK.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Aug 14, 2014

    If one more person tells me that

    if you have an eating disorder you are an attention seeker I am going to go mad! I didn't ask to not want to eat, I didn't ask to go round the shop looking at all the calories in food checking that I don't eat above 300 because I feel fat or that sometimes I'll sit there and...
    gingexx gingexx
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jun 12, 2014

    I hate myself for giving into food.

    I feel empty when I throw it up but not empty enough. Because I'm so fat, I'm not taken seriously. I despise myself everyday because of it.
    Nicolebullymiax Nicolebullymiax
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Feb 15, 2016

    Been In Recovery For Almost A Year,

    I Actually Thought I Was Getting SomeWhere But Nope. These Past Few Days I've Been Pushing My Body On 200 Calories And I'm Starting To Feel The Buzz. I Guess Recovery Is Over, Now Onto Relapse
    justwaitingtobethin justwaitingtobethin
    16-17, F
    1 Response Feb 8, 2016

    I have an eating disorder.

    I am perfectly fine with it too. I think you should do whatever you need to do in order to become thin. I am pro Ana and I respect those who are not, but let me have my own opinion, while I respect yours. If you need anyone to talk to, I'd love a pro Ana Mia buddy
    Kristenbeane Kristenbeane
    1 Response Nov 13, 2014

    I just started going through recovery a few

    weeks ago. It's so difficult. Some days I'm so proud of myself & loving my weight-restored body. Other days my head's dark & I'm so close to relapse. Are there any kik groups for recovery? I know there are for those still suffering, but what about for those currently trying to...
    kchristine7 kchristine7
    18-21, F
    Feb 2, 2016

    I like the feeling of an empty stomach,

    even though it can be uncomfortable at times.
    rumblingheart rumblingheart
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 4, 2015

    Hello! My name is T. For about 4 months

    now I've suffered from an eating disorder. But I wouldn't call it "suffered" actually, because I'm enjoying it. I like feeling in control of my body. I eat as little as possible and exercise excessively. But don't worry, I'm still healthy. I guess I just love the feeling of...
    SkinnyIsPerfect SkinnyIsPerfect
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Nov 9, 2014
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123
    13-15, F
    5 Responses Feb 10, 2016

    I didn't eat today. I ate a little yesterday.

    I lost 15 pounds. Idk what I'm doing.
    BrokeAssBxtch BrokeAssBxtch
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 3, 2016

    I'm relapsing. Bad. I have purged pretty much

    everything this week and haven't eaten in two days. I never want to eat again. I must go back to my lowest weight. Do you know what recovery has granted me? A sixty pound weight increase. That's ridiculous. I was just eating healthily, or as healthily as I could. It's not fair...
    punicorn1 punicorn1
    16-17, F
    1 Response Feb 10, 2016

    I go about 3 days between each meal.

    I haven't eaten for 28 hours and counting. I get so angry with myself when I have to eat something, but I can't be passing out all of the time. People would notice. It's hard because I feel like I still need to keep up with everyone else even though I feel so tired. I've lost 20...
    JudeHauser JudeHauser
    18-21, T
    Mar 11, 2016

    Hi there. My name is Bulim-- wait nope.

    My name is Larkin and I was diagnosed with Bulimia halfway through my sophomore year of high school. I bet you're wondering about the second sentence.. it's really quite simple. When I was diagnosed, my mother was heartbroken. However, when we returned home from the dreaded...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Feb 5, 2016

    So tired of seeing people.

    . Mainly girls 'self diagnose' anorexia, coming from somebody who's spent a year being force fed through a tube. On 1:1 staff support for 6 months to make sure i wasn't secretly exercising.. & now suffering many health issues because of it I'm quite offended that people feel...
    alyssiabeth alyssiabeth
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Dec 3, 2015

    It annoys me so much,

    it really is ruining my life. I don't understand these girls that say there 'pro mia' god. I wish I wasn't like this and it makes me feel so sad for young girls who will read that. I weigh 90 pounds and I'm 5ft7, my blood results are bad, my heart is slow and I have problems...
    GeorgiaAlicee GeorgiaAlicee
    22-25, F
    7 Responses Jan 30, 2015

    It's the only constant in my life.

    I know I am sick, but I am comfortable being sick. I'm good at it. I need it. It started when I was 12. I had my period, and I was developing. I suddenly had breasts, lots of weight pilled on. I was looking similar to my older cousins. I hate that. I liked my boyish body...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Mar 23, 2016

    I Had An Eating Disorder

    Im Stefanie, im 15, barely 5'2" and im finally able to say im a recovered anorexic. i was anorexic for 2 years of my life because i felt worthless. Every guy i had ever liked told me i was hideous and ugly and gross and i believed them. then, being the dumb, 13 year old girl i...
    wishingforrecovery wishingforrecovery
    18-21, F
    Sep 8, 2013

    Someone please help me.

    Please. I need to lose this weight. Please help me. Please. I'm desperate.
    Kelnea Kelnea
    18-21, F
    53 Responses Dec 26, 2014

    The Brighter Side

    Well, my actual story needs to be said at some point and somewhere...so why not here? :) Food and I have been at war for about two years and I had lost a lot of weight at times. I have lost over 5 pounds in just two days before. The pounds never came back and for some reason I...
    jackjack600 jackjack600
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Aug 27, 2013

    Ya know. I'm sick of people judging anorexics

    and bulimics. Plus all the others. Those are just the most common. They tell you you're not fat. And grow meat on them bones. But you can't. You feel so fat. You see a massive number on the scale. You compare. They call you stubborn. Maybe it's not that easy. To just eat when...
    Kailenalovesyou Kailenalovesyou
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Jul 29, 2014

    As Eating Disorders Awareness week is upon us,

    I'd just like to send love to ALL survivors and warriors affected by these disorders, if you've survived an eating disorder or you're fighting your way through recovery, or even if you haven't taken that first step to recover yet. Keep fighting because you are worthy and amazing...
    MissQueenB MissQueenB
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 21, 2016
    lockedsweetheart lockedsweetheart
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Aug 4, 2014

    I struggle with the lingering habits of

    starvation I developed during a 5 year bout with adult-onset anorexia. I have realized lately that, even though I'm doing much better, I am still restricting too much. The weirdest thing is, my illness presented without any body-image issues. It's actually the opposite for me...
    Aimee17 Aimee17
    41-45, F
    2 Responses May 5, 2014

    I have an ED but I'm obese - I'm afraid no one

    will believe me if they found out
    omgawesomeusername omgawesomeusername
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Oct 27, 2014

    I need to explain this to those

    who are not listening or severely don't get it: I am anorexic. This means that I take part in starving and restricting myself so that I can become thinner and more beautiful as a person so that people will be more inclined to see me as beautiful as a person on the inside. This...
    EmpowermentProject EmpowermentProject
    31-35, F
    6 Responses Jun 23, 2014
    BooBear99 BooBear99
    18-21, F
    19 Responses Mar 21, 2014

    I just ate for the first time today,

    and indeed so gross I feel like I could explode. I feel like I should go and throw up, but I feel like I want to recover.
    deathbysadness deathbysadness
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 27, 2016

    Will It Ever End?

    When I was 16 I went on a diet to lose a couple of pounds.  I wasn't overweight, mind you, just wanted to do something right for my mom.  She has always had a hard time showing me love, and nothing I ever did seemed good enough for her.  I lost about 10 pounds and...
    Jynx Jynx
    31-35, F
    24 Responses Jul 1, 2007

    I feel so fat. I've been binge eating nearly

    all day, it's weird having being a comfort eater. go mainly eat wen you're very bored, lonely, sad, happy etc. even when I'm completely stuffed and my stomach hurts I'll keep eating hut slowly. then after awhile, a few days, I barely eat at all.--I beat myself up so bad mentally...
    mentallyhigh mentallyhigh
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Feb 27, 2016

    I don't think of it as a disorder.

    I've been skipping meals and I'm tryigbto go for my go of one day without eating then the next day I'll eat but I'm just trying to get healthier by forcing myself to drink more water and eat less unhealthy things. I also need to exercise more.
    XDeadxNxAliveX XDeadxNxAliveX
    16-17, F
    1 Response Feb 10, 2016

    3 months in. I've had a lot of good days,

    I've had more bad. The more time that passes, the good days happen more frequently & the bad days happen less. I find I'm able to deal with things that would almost break me toward the beginning. Sometimes when I eat, my stomach bloats like crazy. I call it a "food baby...
    kchristine7 kchristine7
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 5, 2016
    jackjack600 jackjack600
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jan 11, 2015

    How do u purge quietly?

    So my mom won't hear me
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jan 30, 2016

    You'd Think....

    after so many good days, weeks, months, really, i am having one hell of a bad food day.  i know that i have to eat to stay well, but at this moment, i cannot force myself to.  the specter of the "perfect 24" hours without food is hanging, only 7 hours away...
    SunnyKris SunnyKris
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Aug 24, 2007

    For about a year now,

    I have suffered from an eating disorder. During that time I have gone from a beautiful, healthy girl to a grossly, thin stick. At first it was great being slim, but I became obsessed with my appearance and further loosing weight. But now I am on the road to recovery, no longer...
    Emilymay100 Emilymay100
    16-17, F
    2 Responses May 30, 2015
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