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I Have An Xxx Rated Sense of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 129 People

    Lexus Lexus
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Oct 19, 2007

    For Shitz N' Giggles!!

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!
    prettynpunk prettynpunk
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 19, 2007

    Heheheheheee

    "When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute."
    spungirl spungirl
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Dec 12, 2007

    The Perfect Drinking Hole

    I thought this was funny.....
    spungirl spungirl
    26-30, F
    Dec 12, 2007

    Some Mo Giggles....

    1.)   "Coincident" A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor?...What's wrong...
    spungirl spungirl
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jan 13, 2008

    Boilshave

      A beard isn’t all it’s whacked up to be               For years now I have been trimming my beard with a 1960’s-vintage electric clipper that sounds like a 500-pound mosquito and has so much...
    4Dogger 4Dogger
    56-60, M
    Oct 14, 2009

    Hip Hop

    I've Set Up This Video Clip But It's Really X-Rated Give Your Comments
    Dex116 Dex116
    18-21
    Jun 9, 2009

    Morning Laughs

    #1.) Three men answered and ad for CIA agents.  The ad stated the men were to bring their wives. The first man was called in for the interview.  The Agent in charge handed him a gun, then said, "We must have absolute loyalty in this service. ...
    spungirl spungirl
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 27, 2007

    This Is Too Funny

    A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out. The egg mutters to no one in particular, "I guess we answered that question."
    Snookybear Snookybear
    36-40, M
    Mar 14, 2011

    New Laughs For the New Year

    1.)  "Porch Gossip" Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?" The other replies, "Oh, sure I do." The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it...
    spungirl spungirl
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 4, 2008

    Some Funny Lil' Jokes.....

    1.)  "Arkansas Bar" A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee queer. The bartender looks up and says, "You ain't from around here, are ya...
    spungirl spungirl
    26-30, F
    8 Responses Dec 13, 2007

    3 Nuns

    Three nuns were sitting on a bench discussing the new priest. "I don't like that new priest," the first nun told the others, "So I cut holes in all of his **** magazines." "I don't like him either," the second nun agreed, "So I cut hole in all...
    BleedingMascara BleedingMascara
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 22, 2008

    XXX

    Women and Children First A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Protestant Minister are on a cruise. Suddenly the boat begins to sink. The Protestant Minister yells, "Abandon ship! Women and children first!" The Rabbi says, "Screw the children." The Priest then replys...
    spungirl spungirl
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 12, 2008

    LOL

    1.   "Eligible Oldsters" Two dapper old men sit on the porch of the retirement home every single afternoon. Two marriage-minded old ladies who move to the home set their sights on these most eligible of bachelors. The first day, they dress up in...
    spungirl spungirl
    26-30, F
    Jan 8, 2008

    I Can't Be the Only One With Jokes Around Here?!!

    1.  *The Trip* Saturday morning a man got up early, put on his long johns, dressed quietly, made lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the...
    spungirl spungirl
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 9, 2008

    Heavenly Gifts

    3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven". The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St...
    InsideMan InsideMan
    22-25, M
    1 Response Oct 9, 2007

    Screwed

    Think you can get screwed? Watch this......And sorry, probably not want you think it would be.... http://tv.gawker.com/5453348/cocos-revenge-obrien-reunites-with-the-************-bear-and-makes-nbc-pay-big-while-leno-and-letterman-trade-insults  
    RichieRich78 RichieRich78
    51-55, M
    1 Response Jan 21, 2010

    I Hope Someone Is Getting Some Giggles Out of My Foolishness!

    Laying Off Sarah or Jack Mr. Smith owned a small business. He had two employees, Sarah and Jack. They were both extremely good employees - always willing to work overtime and chip in where needed.  Mr. Smith was looking over his books one day and decided that he wasn't...
    spungirl spungirl
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 9, 2008

    Jack and Jill

    Jack and Jill had to go up the hill and they decided to take a horse so it would go much faster. The trip went just fine until the very end. Jill got off the horse just fine but Jack got stuck. Will you help Jack off the horse?
    BleedingMascara BleedingMascara
    18-21, F
    Feb 28, 2008

    Who's Da Man??

    1.  "Please take the following Manliness Assessment:" 1) In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as: a) lovemaking b) screwing c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town 2) You should make love to a woman for the first time only...
    spungirl spungirl
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Jan 12, 2008
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