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I Have Avoidant Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 455 People

    I have spent most of my life by myself.

    I never really had much for fiends. There are very few people i keep in regular contact with only 3/4 if you count my brother who lives with me. I try to get out I go to the ymca to work out or play basketball but I never talk to anyone just keep to myself criticize myself when...
    Deathofall Deathofall 26-30, M 2 Responses Oct 22

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    The thing I hate the most about Avoidant

    Personality Disorder is being in large class rooms. I can feel their gazes pick me apart with acute precision, and when I ask something I make an idiot out of myself by jumbling what I want to say. Crowded classrooms are the bane of my existence. Especially ones where I stick...
    MissMadHatter MissMadHatter 18-21, T Aug 27

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    I just joined this group in hopes of meeting

    people who might understand me a little. But then I thought about it & got to wondering: does anyone in this group actually talk? This is difficult. I trust you understand.
    self2ostracized self2ostracized 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 17

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    I'm so lonely. Yet it is

    for the best. The best of myself, and the people who force themselves to be around me due to pity. I spent the most part of my life being so scared, so terrified of people hating who I am. It has been proven by those that are supposed to love you, your family, that I am not...
    SilentJamie SilentJamie 18-21, M 5 Responses Jul 2

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    About My Avoidant Behavior And Beliefs

    I've joined this group hoping to find other people who identify with the way I see the world. So, I'm going to attempt to write down some of my own observations about myself and my avoidant belief system. I apologize in advance if I ramble. I have actually tried this before on a...
    AlienInDisguise AlienInDisguise 31-35, M 5 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    Why I'm Thankful

    This disease more even more than others causes us to focus on what goes wrong in life. Rarely do think about what went wrong. So I decided I’m going to list what is good in my life. I’m a hard worker. I go to a first rate university in a booming city. I’m taking steps...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 15, 2011

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    Hi beautiful people! I'm new here

    but so far I'm loving it. Well, I don't know if I have this or not. But reading about APD I feel like they were describing me. Being honest, I don't care about it enough to make go to a psychologist or psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis. Why? Because I think society loves to...
    almasolitaria312 almasolitaria312 31-35, F Nov 13

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    Preoccupied With The Approval Of Others

    Hello everyone.  I've not been formally diagnosed with this disorder, and as I understand, many of the symptoms are comorbid with many other psychological disorders.  I'm researching the DSM right now, and trying to figure out what I think may be going on with me...
    somegirl12345678 somegirl12345678 26-30 3 Responses May 9, 2010

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    I Don't Mean To Be Awkward By Avoiding People

    Hahaha, I'm so glad there is a recognized avoidant personality disorder here. I don't know why but I just avoid people when I'm walking through a hallway or anything. I just dont want it to be awkward. Cause it already is awkward. And then it becomes even more awkward because i'm...
    sarisii sarisii 16-17, F Dec 3, 2013

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    I Think Too Much.

    I was diagnosed a little over a year ago? It's probably been longer, actually. Back then i had a boyfriend who could deal with me being that way, but then again i took on his personality to escape from my own. Now i'm a lot stronger, i do a lot more things - But i still have...
    AkaiKarasu AkaiKarasu 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 17, 2012

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    Life Is Taking Forever.

    Hello all. Long time sufferer, first time writer. Having just been diagnosed with this disorder I just wanted to introduce myself. I am 30 years old and have always thought there was something different about me. Something so deeply ingrained that it was not just shyness or...
    Eyesolated Eyesolated 31-35, M 1 Response Oct 22, 2013

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    For The New Semester

    College is a horrible nightmare. You're surrounded by the same people day in and day out. You see them in the dorm. You see them in class. You even see them at the library where you try to fence yourself off from the world and relax so you can get some damn work done. After a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 26, 2011

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    I will never bother you I will never promise

    to I will never follow you I will never bother you Never speak a word again I will crawl away for good I will move away from here You wont be afraid of fear No thought was put in to this I always knew it would come to this Things have never been so swell I have...
    Tbone33 Tbone33 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    AvPD At 30

    I hit the 'BIG THREE OH' this year. It really is a shame that all birthdays after the age of 21, seem to have diminishing returns in terms of being desirable landmarks. I am sure that I, like many other sufferers/endurers of AvPD, need little prompting to partake in a spot of...
    andyjjj andyjjj 26-30, M 7 Responses Oct 16, 2012

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    Has anyone tried daily use of something like

    Ativan? I would much rather develop a benzo addiction and keep my friends / make new friends than be a ******* hermit for the rest of my life.
    StarFox11 StarFox11 22-25, M 2 Responses Apr 11

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    Well its that time again,

    my monthly therapy appointment to try and deal with the monsterous multiflavored monkey on my back called APD. I almost feel its useless to go but i keep going because at least im doing something and it beats the heck out of doing nothing i suppose. Its such a weird illness...
    shinjorai shinjorai 36-40, M 2 Responses Oct 2

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    Apd

    OK, my story.. I was fine until I reached 13. Something changed in me. I developed what seemed like a school phobia (up all night worrying, withdrawn at school, terrified...) It was a dark time for me. Too much to say... I changed again and seemed ok for a while, for about a...
    zita27 zita27 36-40, F 6 Responses Sep 25, 2012

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    animamia animamia 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 3

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    Right now, I'm a senior in high school----

    sitting in the bathroom for lunch 😥
    oinkoink3 oinkoink3 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 19

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    A Lone Wolf

    Damn I hate this disorder. I'm afraid of talking to anybody about it because I've been criticized by my parents my whole childhood, adolescents, and even now and I'm 19! I just can't talk to anyone, whenever someone around me is talking about a subject I like and want to say...
    Tbone33 Tbone33 18-21, M 4 Responses Mar 8, 2013

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    Its Like Looking In the Mirror

    Reading the description of Avoidant Personality Disorder is like looking in the mirror. I am an Adult Child of Alcholics who is struggling to outgrow her shyness and fear of rejection. I'd forgotten I had this disorder until I went to church tonight and they were discussing the...
    awannabe74 awannabe74 31-35, F 5 Responses Jul 30, 2008

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    I haven't actually been diagnosed with this

    disorder but I have all the symptoms of it. And I have a hard time getting close to people. I'm just trying to start to open up more to people. I've only told one person about this and it was really scary for me because I've read people's stories about when they told someone...
    chaos16 chaos16 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 17

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    Seems To Fit

    It is hard to admit it but I think this is me. Most of the symptoms match. Years ago I discovered the word Introvert and thought it fitted quite well. I always thought of myself as a rather extreme introvert though. APD seems to fit even better.
    wraithorn wraithorn 41-45, M 6 Responses Apr 15, 2012

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    And sometimes it feels like a death sentence on

    long nights like tonight when you realize your only friends in the world are on other continents or halfway across the country all because you cant talk to people like a "normal" person. Ive been living this way so damn long sometimes i dont even feel human. The loneliness...
    shinjorai shinjorai 36-40, M 2 Responses Sep 13

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    The Symtoms Of Avoidant Personality Disorder Fit Me To A T.

    As I was growing up, I was always the quiet and shy child. From as long as I can remember it's always been hard for me to make friends, while I saw other people make friends so easily. I struggle in social situations to put my say in because I'm afraid that I'm going to embarrass...
    Gemma8 Gemma8 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 20, 2013

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    Where To Start......

    Hi everyone. I am a 51 y/o married woman with one adult child and I have struggled with this "disorder", as I have just recently learned it is referred, my whole life. This is my first time blogging anything let alone such a personal story, and I hardly know where to start. I...
    MarcyDee MarcyDee 51-55, F 1 Response Jun 2, 2012

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    I was recently diagnosed with AvPD.

    This is how I responded when my therapist read the traits. DSM-IV Criteria for Avoidant Personality Disorder (301.82)* A pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation, beginning by early adulthood and present in a...
    Beth403 Beth403 41-45, F 1 Response Feb 11

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    I'm just not sure....

    I've been playing with the idea that I have Avoidant personality disorder for awhile now. I'm soon to be 21 just for your reference. I've always been a real shy kid, sensitive to other's emotions, and hyper-aware of what people thought of me. I would cry all the time in class if...
    popcorngoo popcorngoo 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    The first time I heard of this was reading

    peoples posts on here. And reading them makes me feel that there's a good chance I have the same thing!!
    Clivedonaldson82 Clivedonaldson82 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 21, 2013

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    I sometimes wonder if I'm just an extremely

    gifted/cursed empath. It's almost as if I can read people too well...I'm falling apart over it lately. Life used to be so easy and then all of a sudden here I am...quit my job, just left and can't answer the phone, won't even pick up my check, all my friends are gone because I...
    SoCalSoBeIt SoCalSoBeIt 22-25, M Apr 30

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    My Symptoms Of Avpd

    I'm supposed to name 5 things I like about myself and my life a day, but it's nearly impossible. These are the negatives. These are my struggles with my disorder. -I hate everything about my physical appearance. There is nothing beautiful about me, even the ones I like are so...
    Hilarie91 Hilarie91 22-25, F 7 Responses Oct 10, 2012

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    Avoidant 4ever

    We avoidants are often depressed, lonely, self-pitying thinking how bad is our life. But is it really so bad? We could end up worse. Because of AVPD I never had real close friends, never had any girl-friend, nor get laid. Geez.. I'm 26 so you can say "holy sh*t do something about...
    Crematory Crematory 26-30, M Sep 14, 2011

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    Social mugging: Held at eye point in a crowded

    room having your interests, hobbies, life story and all other precious and valuable social information demanded of you. At every social event I've gone to they want to make EVERYONE feel included, no wallflowers allowed. There always seem to be that one bubbly extrovert who...
    Beth403 Beth403 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 24

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    I find it easier to talk with strangers in the

    grocery store than to talk to my next door neighbors.
    Beth403 Beth403 41-45, F Feb 11

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    Were supposed to go out tonight.

    Me my wife, and our roommate to a local bar. Im just hoping i dont make an *** out of myself. Im going to try not to drink too much but i get so damn nervous i tend to do that. Just want to have fun, but ive been in this funk the past few weeks i cant seem to shake. Just tired...
    shinjorai shinjorai 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 1

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    Ya Think?

    Yes, I avoid social situations. I don't work. I assume I wouldn't pass an interview because I could not respond in the way I used to. Takes quick thinking. And I haven't worked since 2008 and don't know how to explain that. Basically, I don't like leaving the house anymore. Its...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Feb 9, 2012

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    Diagnosed With Personality Disorder & Ptsd

    I have been diagnosed with a personality disorder and post traumatic stress disorder due to adverse childhood experiences.  I have not been specifically diagnosed with "avoidant" personality disorder, but I'm pretty sure I fit the diagnosis. My disorders seem to overlap, and...
    Supposed2Bhere Supposed2Bhere 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 3, 2011

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    I Love To Meet You But I'd Probably Avoid You

    I don't have a story about this. I don't know how I got it, probably from my childhood experiences. I avoid everything and everyone. I avoid my roommates, I avoid the people at work. It's crazy, I'm charming and liked, but I still avoid everything. Too much anxiety, most like. It...
    Cryptifly Cryptifly 26-30, M 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    Hi, I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality

    Disorder a few months ago. I have always struggled all my life but I also force myself to do things, like go to work, go shopping etc. I have a 8 year old child and I'm a single mum. I recently decided to join a dating website to maybe try to meet Mr Right. I met this guy...
    stephanie29 stephanie29 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 22

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    I Feel Like I'm Wasting My Life And Its Frustrating..

    I'm not too sure where to start, but i've always struggled incredibly in social situations and with extreme negativity.  I've always tried to overcome my difficulties, whether its counselling or hypnosis tapes, but i've been really struggling lately. I started Uni last...
    sarahsummer sarahsummer 18-21 4 Responses Feb 7, 2011

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    The Curse

    Before I say anything I would like to add that I was never diagnosed with this, but I do have almost every single symptom of it and live it every single day of my life. But since it isn't curable, I find no real reason to seek help for it. If you have APD I'm sure you will...
    KnightOfJustice KnightOfJustice 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 25, 2013

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    I've always had the feeling of being superior

    to people I have to keep myself under control and realize it's not a good thing. I always have to be careful of where I step and how I stand on a subject, over the years I've gotten better. I'm proud of my improvements that I have made. But nobody seems to understand I struggle...
    Autumnflowers Autumnflowers 18-21, F May 2

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    Dont you hate the feeling of incapable of

    trusting people around you, just because you think they would never love you like you did to them?
    TroglodyteWallflower TroglodyteWallflower 31-35, F 1 Response May 17

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    Down In A Hole

    Bury me softly in this womb I kept this part of me from you Sand rains down and here I sit Holding rare flowers In a tomb... in bloom Down in a hole and I don't know if I can be saved See my heart I decorate it like a grave Well you don't understand who they Thought I was...
    Tbone33 Tbone33 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 1, 2013

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    An Eternal Struggle?

    As a 27-year old, dealing with my Avoidant Personality Disorder is a constant challenge. As far back as I can remember, I was always a quiet and reserved child. I loved being with my immediate family, but I always felt uncomfortable in some way socializing with other people...
    etherealexistence etherealexistence 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 27, 2012

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    It's All So Clear Now. . .

    So there I was, in my usual spot. All by myself against the wall during lunch. I was reading my psychology book, as I have no friends that I talk to at school and I had that class next. I came across a really interesting bit in that book: "People with avoidant personality...
    aday4evr aday4evr 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2012

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    It took me years of searching,

    but I finally found it. The answer to pretty much everything wrong with me. Why I do what I do. It's beautiful. In an awful, you have a personality disorder, kind of way. I have never identified with anything as much as I do AvPD. I found the list of symptoms and said yes to...
    jaisikae jaisikae 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 23

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    My Life And Avoidant Personality Disorder

    I have never been diagnosed with this disorder and at this point I don't feel the need to see a psychiatrist, as from experiece, I think that their medications do more harm than good for a person such as myself. I certainly don't want this disorder, it doesn't suit me to have a...
    andyjjj andyjjj 26-30, M 9 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Job Interview

    I feel like I need to get my life on the right track, I'm 25 and I had a couple of jobs while i was in college but now I can't seem to convince myself even to go to the interview. I am way too anxious. I had a job interview the other day, great job, well paid, I just couldn't go...
    karmame karmame 26-30 2 Responses Oct 14, 2013

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    Don't Know What That Is.

    I feel myself withdrawing from life. I live a lie every day. Acting how I see as normal, saying I love you, when I'm not sure if I even know what that means. My feelings becoming more and more distant. My heart becoming harder. I've seen a psychiatrist and a psychologist for 10...
    TeresasTears TeresasTears 56-60, F 3 Responses Oct 14, 2013

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    how can a person have apd

    and be a narcissist. anyone elce have these two disorders? the vulnerable narcissist? im a rare breed .. im self obsessed and avoidant and anxious.
    nikeboy488 nikeboy488 26-30, M 2 Responses Jan 24

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