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I Have Avoidant Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 510 People

    I first discovered this in my junior year of

    high school. Being trans in high school is probably the worst, but being trans and having a personality disorder in high school is just a double-whammy of awful. An acquaintance of mine brought it up, and being that I'm interested in psychology and never heard of it, I looked it...
    noyoubro noyoubro 18-21, T 4 Responses Mar 25

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    I've been feeling horrific

    for the past few hours. embarressed around everybody and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm in hell.
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 3 Responses Jun 10

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    I have various symptoms of this.

    especially sweaty palms, which has dogged me for several years, as well as sweating generally. As you can imagine, this has severely hampered my ability to do anything, and it is caused I think by feeling shame, or embarrassment. I feel sorry for people. I compete with everyone...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 3 Responses Jun 9

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    I will never bother you I will never promise

    to I will never follow you I will never bother you Never speak a word again I will crawl away for good I will move away from here You wont be afraid of fear No thought was put in to this I always knew it would come to this Things have never been so swell I have...
    Tbone33 Tbone33 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    My Symptoms Of Avpd

    I'm supposed to name 5 things I like about myself and my life a day, but it's nearly impossible. These are the negatives. These are my struggles with my disorder. -I hate everything about my physical appearance. There is nothing beautiful about me, even the ones I like are so...
    Hilarie91 Hilarie91 22-25, F 8 Responses Oct 10, 2012

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    Avoidant 4ever

    We avoidants are often depressed, lonely, self-pitying thinking how bad is our life. But is it really so bad? We could end up worse. Because of AVPD I never had real close friends, never had any girl-friend, nor get laid. Geez.. I'm 26 so you can say "holy sh*t do something about...
    Crematory Crematory 26-30, M Sep 14, 2011

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    I have spent so many years with this

    dysfunctional state that I have grown comfortable in a state of anxiety. Can ANYBODY relate to this feeling?? e.g im not sweating, sat outside, weathers nice and i'm waiting for the sweat to come...its coming...coming...it comes every time. But my mind feels oddly relaxed on one...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 11

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    AvPD At 30

    I hit the 'BIG THREE OH' this year. It really is a shame that all birthdays after the age of 21, seem to have diminishing returns in terms of being desirable landmarks. I am sure that I, like many other sufferers/endurers of AvPD, need little prompting to partake in a spot of...
    andyjjj andyjjj 26-30, M 7 Responses Oct 16, 2012

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    It's All So Clear Now. . .

    So there I was, in my usual spot. All by myself against the wall during lunch. I was reading my psychology book, as I have no friends that I talk to at school and I had that class next. I came across a really interesting bit in that book: "People with avoidant personality...
    aday4evr aday4evr 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2012

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    Hi! I think I have APD.

    I've never been diagnosed because I don't tell anybody about my problems and defeniatly don't want to visit a psychologe. I recognize all symptoms of APD in myself and I hope I can share experiences here ✌️
    xForgottenOne xForgottenOne 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 10

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    Seems To Fit

    It is hard to admit it but I think this is me. Most of the symptoms match. Years ago I discovered the word Introvert and thought it fitted quite well. I always thought of myself as a rather extreme introvert though. APD seems to fit even better.
    wraithorn wraithorn 46-50, M 6 Responses Apr 15, 2012

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    My Life And Avoidant Personality Disorder

    I have never been diagnosed with this disorder and at this point I don't feel the need to see a psychiatrist, as from experiece, I think that their medications do more harm than good for a person such as myself. I certainly don't want this disorder, it doesn't suit me to have a...
    andyjjj andyjjj 26-30, M 9 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    how can a person have apd

    and be a narcissist. anyone elce have these two disorders? the vulnerable narcissist? im a rare breed .. im self obsessed and avoidant and anxious.
    nikeboy488 nikeboy488 26-30, M 2 Responses Jan 24, 2014

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    I know what could have made me like this.

    I've never been tested for reasons behind my problems, (I was told I have social phobia and I know that but I'm sure I also have APD too) but I don't think I need no examination to prove it. For one thing there is my DNA. My grandmother was in the war and had gotten physical and...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 2 Responses Jan 14

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    I have been suffering with APD (avoidant

    personality disorder) for a while now. I've stopped answering calls, text messages. I'm scared of social interaction with people and feel I'm not welcome even though friends constantly try to contact me. I've driven away so many people and it breaks my heart to think about...
    Briahj Briahj 13-15 4 Responses Jun 11

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    Its Like Looking In the Mirror

    Reading the description of Avoidant Personality Disorder is like looking in the mirror. I am an Adult Child of Alcholics who is struggling to outgrow her shyness and fear of rejection. I'd forgotten I had this disorder until I went to church tonight and they were discussing the...
    awannabe74 awannabe74 31-35, F 5 Responses Jul 30, 2008

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    Were supposed to go out tonight.

    Me my wife, and our roommate to a local bar. Im just hoping i dont make an *** out of myself. Im going to try not to drink too much but i get so damn nervous i tend to do that. Just want to have fun, but ive been in this funk the past few weeks i cant seem to shake. Just tired...
    shinjorai shinjorai 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 1, 2014

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    Right now, I'm a senior in high school----

    sitting in the bathroom for lunch 😥
    oinkoink3 oinkoink3 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    I just got diagnosed with APD at my

    psychiatrist's office. I knew I had ADD early on, Social Anxiety Disorder in highschool, but not until now, some 10 years later do I finally get to understand why. All the pain and suffering is finally explained, and why I have never met anyone else like me. All the symptoms...
    sakurakil sakurakil 26-30, M 3 Responses May 7

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    It took me years of searching,

    but I finally found it. The answer to pretty much everything wrong with me. Why I do what I do. It's beautiful. In an awful, you have a personality disorder, kind of way. I have never identified with anything as much as I do AvPD. I found the list of symptoms and said yes to...
    jaisikae jaisikae 26-30, F 5 Responses Nov 23, 2014

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    Why I'm Thankful

    This disease more even more than others causes us to focus on what goes wrong in life. Rarely do think about what went wrong. So I decided I’m going to list what is good in my life. I’m a hard worker. I go to a first rate university in a booming city. I’m taking steps...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 15, 2011

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    My whole existence is based on other people.

    ..every thought, every action. Every movement I make is to make people think I'm cool...Every activity I do is to impress people, and to earn their praise
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 6 Responses Jun 24

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    I just had a horrific interview at McDonald's.

    On the way had thoughts that people from school days were laughing at me. Then felt so embarressed, such shame, like the interviewer could see through me. Nearly ran out of there. Is this just how I am...do I just need to man up?? Family have been good about this but I feel I...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 6

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    I was recently diagnosed with AvPD.

    This is how I responded when my therapist read the traits. DSM-IV Criteria for Avoidant Personality Disorder (301.82)* A pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation, beginning by early adulthood and present in a...
    Beth403 Beth403 41-45, F 1 Response Feb 11, 2014

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    A Lone Wolf

    Damn I hate this disorder. I'm afraid of talking to anybody about it because I've been criticized by my parents my whole childhood, adolescents, and even now and I'm 19! I just can't talk to anyone, whenever someone around me is talking about a subject I like and want to say...
    Tbone33 Tbone33 18-21, M 4 Responses Mar 8, 2013

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    I Think Too Much.

    I was diagnosed a little over a year ago? It's probably been longer, actually. Back then i had a boyfriend who could deal with me being that way, but then again i took on his personality to escape from my own. Now i'm a lot stronger, i do a lot more things - But i still have...
    AkaiKarasu AkaiKarasu 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 17, 2012

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    I've always had the feeling of being superior

    to people I have to keep myself under control and realize it's not a good thing. I always have to be careful of where I step and how I stand on a subject, over the years I've gotten better. I'm proud of my improvements that I have made. But nobody seems to understand I struggle...
    Autumnflowers Autumnflowers 18-21 May 2, 2014

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    I find being social extremely tiring

    and a bit timid to bring the stress on myself. It's not that I don't act myself around friends, I do. It's just a constant battle with myself to do so. You know how sometimes you can second guess yourself? Well for me that negative voice works overtime. I can get...
    93Armand 93Armand 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 2

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    Preoccupied With The Approval Of Others

    Hello everyone.  I've not been formally diagnosed with this disorder, and as I understand, many of the symptoms are comorbid with many other psychological disorders.  I'm researching the DSM right now, and trying to figure out what I think may be going on with me...
    somegirl12345678 somegirl12345678 26-30 3 Responses May 9, 2010

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    At every social event I've gone to they want to

    make EVERYONE feel included, no wallflowers allowed. There always seem to be that one bubbly extrovert who just needs to know all about you, and she doesn't want any party poopers. Once she's pried some information out of you she introduces you to the next interrogator, oops...
    Beth403 Beth403 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 24, 2014

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    Well its that time again,

    my monthly therapy appointment to try and deal with the monsterous multiflavored monkey on my back called APD. I almost feel its useless to go but i keep going because at least im doing something and it beats the heck out of doing nothing i suppose. Its such a weird illness...
    shinjorai shinjorai 36-40, M 2 Responses Oct 2, 2014

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    I'm so lonely. Yet it is

    for the best. The best of myself, and the people who force themselves to be around me due to pity. I spent the most part of my life being so scared, so terrified of people hating who I am. It has been proven by those that are supposed to love you, your family, that I am not...
    SilentJamie SilentJamie 18-21, M 5 Responses Jul 2, 2014

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    And sometimes it feels like a death sentence on

    long nights like tonight when you realize your only friends in the world are on other continents or halfway across the country all because you cant talk to people like a "normal" person. Ive been living this way so damn long sometimes i dont even feel human. The loneliness...
    shinjorai shinjorai 36-40, M 3 Responses Sep 13, 2014

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    I don't know if any of you identify with this,

    but I'm not sure if I WANT to get better...I don't know if I'm scared...or it's a defense mechanism or what...I've been working on my relationships with people close to me and challenging my completely dysfunctional thought patterns, and then when I try to dismiss the anxiety...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 3 Responses Jun 21

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    Today,I found a few self-help tips

    and was excited to try them and change my life but then I looked at a few pictures of me and I thought why bother, I would still remain ugly. And all my hopes were shattered :(
    uglyshyguy uglyshyguy 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 3

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    I've always had it. I never played with the

    other kids at recess from pre school to 5th grade. Middle school was a living hell and now I go to an alternative high school. I have a lot of mental disorders, but then again so do my parents.
    classAteam classAteam 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 30, 2014

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    I find that whenever I am on the cusp of

    getting better, I think I am acting like other people. This is the aspect of AVPD where I have for years been appraising the movements of people who I felt had made it and were confident people. Now, whenever I feel good, I find myself acting like them. Is this on purpose? I don...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 10

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    Apd

    OK, my story.. I was fine until I reached 13. Something changed in me. I developed what seemed like a school phobia (up all night worrying, withdrawn at school, terrified...) It was a dark time for me. Too much to say... I changed again and seemed ok for a while, for about a...
    zita27 zita27 36-40, F 6 Responses Sep 25, 2012

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    I sometimes wonder if I'm just an extremely

    gifted/cursed empath. It's almost as if I can read people too well...I'm falling apart over it lately. Life used to be so easy and then all of a sudden here I am...quit my job, just left and can't answer the phone, won't even pick up my check, all my friends are gone because I...
    SoCalSoBeIt SoCalSoBeIt 26-30, M Apr 30, 2014

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    Hallo everybody. I'm not sure

    if i have APD, because my doctor said i have BPD. Well, i never get angry on people, i don't change my opinions about them, and i don't change often my mood. My problem is my sensitivity on criticism, i always think people are watching me and think bad things about me. I don't...
    Almano1008 Almano1008 22-25, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I Love To Meet You But I'd Probably Avoid You

    I don't have a story about this. I don't know how I got it, probably from my childhood experiences. I avoid everything and everyone. I avoid my roommates, I avoid the people at work. It's crazy, I'm charming and liked, but I still avoid everything. Too much anxiety, most like. It...
    Cryptifly Cryptifly 26-30, M 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    I have spent most of my life by myself.

    I never really had much for fiends. There are very few people i keep in regular contact with only 3/4 if you count my brother who lives with me. I try to get out I go to the ymca to work out or play basketball but I never talk to anyone just keep to myself criticize myself when...
    Deathofall Deathofall 31-35, M 3 Responses Oct 22, 2014

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    For The New Semester

    College is a horrible nightmare. You're surrounded by the same people day in and day out. You see them in the dorm. You see them in class. You even see them at the library where you try to fence yourself off from the world and relax so you can get some damn work done. After a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 26, 2011

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    Ya Think?

    Yes, I avoid social situations. I don't work. I assume I wouldn't pass an interview because I could not respond in the way I used to. Takes quick thinking. And I haven't worked since 2008 and don't know how to explain that. Basically, I don't like leaving the house anymore. Its...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Feb 9, 2012

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    I am worried about how I view others.

    it is like they are either above or below me. I was just at a football game and was thinking about others as commoners / stupid. I felt apart from them, separate. how can I survive with these attitudes??
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M Jul 18

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    I find it easier to talk with strangers in the

    grocery store than to talk to my next door neighbors.
    Beth403 Beth403 41-45, F Feb 11, 2014

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