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I Have Avoidant Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 534 People

    AvPD At 30

    I hit the 'BIG THREE OH' this year. It really is a shame that all birthdays after the age of 21, seem to have diminishing returns in terms of being desirable landmarks. I am sure that I, like many other sufferers/endurers of AvPD, need little prompting to partake in a spot of...
    andyjjj andyjjj 26-30, M 7 Responses Oct 16, 2012

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    I just recently researched this disorder

    after taking a personality quiz online. My results told me I suffer from APD. I haven't felt like this my whole life up until now. I'm not sure if going through trauma has made this affect on my or not. Every time I'm out with my friends drinking which is not often...
    heaven89 heaven89 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 15, 2015

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    Its Like Looking In the Mirror

    Reading the description of Avoidant Personality Disorder is like looking in the mirror. I am an Adult Child of Alcholics who is struggling to outgrow her shyness and fear of rejection. I'd forgotten I had this disorder until I went to church tonight and they were discussing the...
    awannabe74 awannabe74 31-35, F 5 Responses Jul 30, 2008

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    how can a person have apd

    and be a narcissist. anyone elce have these two disorders? the vulnerable narcissist? im a rare breed .. im self obsessed and avoidant and anxious.
    nikeboy488 nikeboy488 26-30, M 2 Responses Jan 24, 2014

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    Apd

    OK, my story.. I was fine until I reached 13. Something changed in me. I developed what seemed like a school phobia (up all night worrying, withdrawn at school, terrified...) It was a dark time for me. Too much to say... I changed again and seemed ok for a while, for about a...
    zita27 zita27 36-40, F 5 Responses Sep 25, 2012

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    I have spent most of my life by myself.

    I never really had much for fiends. There are very few people i keep in regular contact with only 3/4 if you count my brother who lives with me. I try to get out I go to the ymca to work out or play basketball but I never talk to anyone just keep to myself criticize myself when...
    Deathofall Deathofall 31-35, M 4 Responses Oct 22, 2014

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    For The New Semester

    College is a horrible nightmare. You're surrounded by the same people day in and day out. You see them in the dorm. You see them in class. You even see them at the library where you try to fence yourself off from the world and relax so you can get some damn work done. After a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 26, 2011

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    At every social event I've gone to they want to

    make EVERYONE feel included, no wallflowers allowed. There always seem to be that one bubbly extrovert who just needs to know all about you, and she doesn't want any party poopers. Once she's pried some information out of you she introduces you to the next interrogator, oops...
    Beth403 Beth403 46-50, F 2 Responses Mar 24, 2014

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    Welp, the therapist suggested I join a forum of

    some kind so here I am. I guess i'll start with the diagnosis. It was back in 2012. I went for an assessment because I had gotten worse since I left the hellhole that was secondary school and my Mum was worried. I talked to a psychologist for about an hour about my history...
    BlueWraith BlueWraith 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 8, 2015

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    I haven't been clinically diagnosed with it

    but I'm 99% sure I have it, and it really is restricting in life, and when people say "just get over it" it's not as simple as that, people who don't have it don't understand how restricting it is, it's not just something you can "get over", the picture explains exactly how it...
    Fred363 Fred363 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 3

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    I find that whenever I am on the cusp of

    getting better, I think I am acting like other people. This is the aspect of AVPD where I have for years been appraising the movements of people who I felt had made it and were confident people. Now, whenever I feel good, I find myself acting like them. Is this on purpose? I don...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 10, 2015

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    I Think Too Much.

    I was diagnosed a little over a year ago? It's probably been longer, actually. Back then i had a boyfriend who could deal with me being that way, but then again i took on his personality to escape from my own. Now i'm a lot stronger, i do a lot more things - But i still have...
    AkaiKarasu AkaiKarasu 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 17, 2012

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    Avoidant 4ever

    We avoidants are often depressed, lonely, self-pitying thinking how bad is our life. But is it really so bad? We could end up worse. Because of AVPD I never had real close friends, never had any girl-friend, nor get laid. Geez.. I'm 26 so you can say "holy sh*t do something about...
    Crematory Crematory 26-30, M Sep 14, 2011

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    I was recently diagnosed with AvPD.

    This is how I responded when my therapist read the traits. DSM-IV Criteria for Avoidant Personality Disorder (301.82)* A pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation, beginning by early adulthood and present in a...
    Beth403 Beth403 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 11, 2014

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    I just realized after many years of isolation

    that I have AvPD. I have always wished I could "get out more" or have more friends but it was too difficult for me to take action. Talking to people is such a chore for me because I am constantly analyzing and judging everything I say and trying to figure out what the other...
    ekatt123 ekatt123 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 10, 2015

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    My Life And Avoidant Personality Disorder

    I have never been diagnosed with this disorder and at this point I don't feel the need to see a psychiatrist, as from experiece, I think that their medications do more harm than good for a person such as myself. I certainly don't want this disorder, it doesn't suit me to have a...
    andyjjj andyjjj 26-30, M 9 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Ya Think?

    Yes, I avoid social situations. I don't work. I assume I wouldn't pass an interview because I could not respond in the way I used to. Takes quick thinking. And I haven't worked since 2008 and don't know how to explain that. Basically, I don't like leaving the house anymore. Its...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Feb 9, 2012

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    hi guys, I have found an amazing way to

    confront this...it is called Brahma kumaris. essentially is spirituality to confront negative beliefs we have built up. please please give this a go if you struggle with avpd. search bk Shivani on YouTube...there is usually an English summary at the end of her videos. search...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 20, 2015

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    Someone talking to me: Says something in a tone

    that might or might not be indicating that they are annoyed Me: They hate me. That's it. I have descended to my lowest. The Lowest. They hate me because I bring bad influence to them, no wonder. I should go away, far. I should avoid every living thing I find. I should not...
    avemvogel avemvogel 16-17, T 1 Response Dec 3, 2015

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    I am worried about how I view others.

    it is like they are either above or below me. I was just at a football game and was thinking about others as commoners / stupid. I felt apart from them, separate. how can I survive with these attitudes??
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 18, 2015

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    As soon as I update anything on my social

    account I feel like everybody is judging me and I'll think the reason no one interacts with my posts is because I said something offensive and wrong and rude and it all spirals down my gut until I feel like all I can do is bring no interaction towards myself or pull unwanted...
    avemvogel avemvogel 16-17, T Dec 3, 2015

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    I know what could have made me like this.

    I've never been tested for reasons behind my problems, (I was told I have social phobia and I know that but I'm sure I also have APD too) but I don't think I need no examination to prove it. For one thing there is my DNA. My grandmother was in the war and had gotten physical and...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 46-50 2 Responses Jan 14, 2015

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    I don't know if any of you identify with this,

    but I'm not sure if I WANT to get better...I don't know if I'm scared...or it's a defense mechanism or what...I've been working on my relationships with people close to me and challenging my completely dysfunctional thought patterns, and then when I try to dismiss the anxiety...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 3 Responses Jun 21, 2015

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    I hate having this because

    after one bad experience I have to "rationally"(to me) figure out if I want to put myself in certain situations. I miss out on so much befause I feel if it's too much of a risk I will avoid answering if I'm coming along, avoid the (possible) bad situation. (will I do something...
    jdrockstheak jdrockstheak 22-25, F Dec 4, 2015

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    I have been suffering with APD (avoidant

    personality disorder) for a while now. I've stopped answering calls, text messages. I'm scared of social interaction with people and feel I'm not welcome even though friends constantly try to contact me. I've driven away so many people and it breaks my heart to think about...
    Briahj Briahj 13-15 7 Responses Jun 11, 2015

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    I've always had the feeling of being superior

    to people I have to keep myself under control and realize it's not a good thing. I always have to be careful of where I step and how I stand on a subject, over the years I've gotten better. I'm proud of my improvements that I have made. But nobody seems to understand I struggle...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 2, 2014

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    A Lone Wolf

    Damn I hate this disorder. I'm afraid of talking to anybody about it because I've been criticized by my parents my whole childhood, adolescents, and even now and I'm 19! I just can't talk to anyone, whenever someone around me is talking about a subject I like and want to say...
    Tbone33 Tbone33 22-25, M 4 Responses Mar 8, 2013

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    I will never bother you I will never promise

    to I will never follow you I will never bother you Never speak a word again I will crawl away for good I will move away from here You wont be afraid of fear No thought was put in to this I always knew it would come to this Things have never been so swell I have...
    Tbone33 Tbone33 22-25, M 3 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    I find it easier to talk with strangers in the

    grocery store than to talk to my next door neighbors.
    Beth403 Beth403 46-50, F Feb 11, 2014

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    My whole existence is based on other people.

    ..every thought, every action. Every movement I make is to make people think I'm cool...Every activity I do is to impress people, and to earn their praise
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 7 Responses Jun 24, 2015

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    I just had a horrific interview at McDonald's.

    On the way had thoughts that people from school days were laughing at me. Then felt so embarressed, such shame, like the interviewer could see through me. Nearly ran out of there. Is this just how I am...do I just need to man up?? Family have been good about this but I feel I...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 4 Responses Jul 6, 2015

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    I Love To Meet You But I'd Probably Avoid You

    I don't have a story about this. I don't know how I got it, probably from my childhood experiences. I avoid everything and everyone. I avoid my roommates, I avoid the people at work. It's crazy, I'm charming and liked, but I still avoid everything. Too much anxiety, most like. It...
    Cryptifly Cryptifly 26-30, M 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    I'm often lonely because of lack of social

    interactions. My fear of rejection is to much to bare and yet the pain of being alone is also to painful.. anyone else?..
    PainfullyAvoidant PainfullyAvoidant 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2015

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    Why I'm Thankful

    This disease more even more than others causes us to focus on what goes wrong in life. Rarely do think about what went wrong. So I decided I’m going to list what is good in my life. I’m a hard worker. I go to a first rate university in a booming city. I’m taking steps...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 15, 2011

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    The Curse

    Before I say anything I would like to add that I was never diagnosed with this, but I do have almost every single symptom of it and live it every single day of my life. But since it isn't curable, I find no real reason to seek help for it. If you have APD I'm sure you will...
    KnightOfJustice KnightOfJustice 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 25, 2013

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    Hi! I think I have APD.

    I've never been diagnosed because I don't tell anybody about my problems and defeniatly don't want to visit a psychologe. I recognize all symptoms of APD in myself and I hope I can share experiences here ✌️
    xForgottenOne xForgottenOne 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 10, 2015

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    I don't have AvPD, but ,

    I have an avoidant style of personality and I relate so much with your experience... I can't imagine how difficult is life for people diagnosed with this disorder.. I always cry because I feel lonely, but I know there are people who know I struggle with social skills and they...
    Daydrm22 Daydrm22 18-21, F Dec 19, 2015

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    I have been recently diaginosed with AvPD.

    I'm nearly completely isolated and I don't have a social life. I'm tired of being trapped in this tiny box. I'm so terrified of being judged and rejected that I don't give much effort into socializing.
    PainfullyAvoidant PainfullyAvoidant 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 4, 2015

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    I have various symptoms of this.

    especially sweaty palms, which has dogged me for several years, as well as sweating generally. As you can imagine, this has severely hampered my ability to do anything, and it is caused I think by feeling shame, or embarrassment. I feel sorry for people. I compete with everyone...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 3 Responses Jun 9, 2015

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    I have spent so many years with this

    dysfunctional state that I have grown comfortable in a state of anxiety. Can ANYBODY relate to this feeling?? e.g im not sweating, sat outside, weathers nice and i'm waiting for the sweat to come...its coming...coming...it comes every time. But my mind feels oddly relaxed on one...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 11, 2015

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    I first discovered this in my junior year of

    high school. Being trans in high school is probably the worst, but being trans and having a personality disorder in high school is just a double-whammy of awful. An acquaintance of mine brought it up, and being that I'm interested in psychology and never heard of it, I looked it...
    noyoubro noyoubro 18-21, T 5 Responses Mar 25, 2015

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    Seems To Fit

    It is hard to admit it but I think this is me. Most of the symptoms match. Years ago I discovered the word Introvert and thought it fitted quite well. I always thought of myself as a rather extreme introvert though. APD seems to fit even better.
    wraithorn wraithorn 46-50, M 6 Responses Apr 15, 2012

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    there is something addicting about this highly

    charged feeling I have whenever I am outside. I don't want to lose it and go to a mediocre boring life. even if I change, I know I am not good enough...so why not experience this high, even though it means repeated embarrassment?
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 12, 2015

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    It's All So Clear Now. . .

    So there I was, in my usual spot. All by myself against the wall during lunch. I was reading my psychology book, as I have no friends that I talk to at school and I had that class next. I came across a really interesting bit in that book: "People with avoidant personality...
    aday4evr aday4evr 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2012

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