I Have Avoidant Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 542 People

    I'm starting to avoid talking again please

    don't try to talk to me because chances are I'll block you or I'm going to reply to you after four years
    avemvogel avemvogel
    16-17, T
    Dec 3, 2015

    I haven't been clinically diagnosed with it

    but I'm 99% sure I have it, and it really is restricting in life, and when people say "just get over it" it's not as simple as that, people who don't have it don't understand how restricting it is, it's not just something you can "get over", the picture explains exactly how it...
    Fred363 Fred363
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jan 3

    I Love To Meet You But I'd Probably Avoid You

    I don't have a story about this. I don't know how I got it, probably from my childhood experiences. I avoid everything and everyone. I avoid my roommates, I avoid the people at work. It's crazy, I'm charming and liked, but I still avoid everything. Too much anxiety, most like. It...
    Cryptifly Cryptifly
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

    Ya Think?

    Yes, I avoid social situations. I don't work. I assume I wouldn't pass an interview because I could not respond in the way I used to. Takes quick thinking. And I haven't worked since 2008 and don't know how to explain that. Basically, I don't like leaving the house anymore. Its...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    8 Responses Feb 9, 2012

    At every social event I've gone to they want to

    make EVERYONE feel included, no wallflowers allowed. There always seem to be that one bubbly extrovert who just needs to know all about you, and she doesn't want any party poopers. Once she's pried some information out of you she introduces you to the next interrogator, oops...
    Beth403 Beth403
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Mar 24, 2014

    I find that whenever I am on the cusp of

    getting better, I think I am acting like other people. This is the aspect of AVPD where I have for years been appraising the movements of people who I felt had made it and were confident people. Now, whenever I feel good, I find myself acting like them. Is this on purpose? I don...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jun 10, 2015

    I just had a horrific interview at McDonald's.

    On the way had thoughts that people from school days were laughing at me. Then felt so embarressed, such shame, like the interviewer could see through me. Nearly ran out of there. Is this just how I am...do I just need to man up?? Family have been good about this but I feel I...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001
    18-21, M
    4 Responses Jul 6, 2015

    I was recently diagnosed with AvPD.

    This is how I responded when my therapist read the traits. DSM-IV Criteria for Avoidant Personality Disorder (301.82)* A pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation, beginning by early adulthood and present in a...
    Beth403 Beth403
    46-50, F
    1 Response Feb 11, 2014

    For The New Semester

    College is a horrible nightmare. You're surrounded by the same people day in and day out. You see them in the dorm. You see them in class. You even see them at the library where you try to fence yourself off from the world and relax so you can get some damn work done. After a...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Jul 26, 2011

    My Symptoms Of Avpd

    I'm supposed to name 5 things I like about myself and my life a day, but it's nearly impossible. These are the negatives. These are my struggles with my disorder. -I hate everything about my physical appearance. There is nothing beautiful about me, even the ones I like are so...
    Hilarie91 Hilarie91
    22-25, F
    8 Responses Oct 10, 2012

    I've always had the feeling of being superior

    to people I have to keep myself under control and realize it's not a good thing. I always have to be careful of where I step and how I stand on a subject, over the years I've gotten better. I'm proud of my improvements that I have made. But nobody seems to understand I struggle...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    May 2, 2014

    It's All So Clear Now. . .

    So there I was, in my usual spot. All by myself against the wall during lunch. I was reading my psychology book, as I have no friends that I talk to at school and I had that class next. I came across a really interesting bit in that book: "People with avoidant personality...
    aday4evr aday4evr
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Apr 28, 2012

    I don't know if any of you identify with this,

    but I'm not sure if I WANT to get better...I don't know if I'm scared...or it's a defense mechanism or what...I've been working on my relationships with people close to me and challenging my completely dysfunctional thought patterns, and then when I try to dismiss the anxiety...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Jun 21, 2015

    My whole existence is based on other people.

    ..every thought, every action. Every movement I make is to make people think I'm cool...Every activity I do is to impress people, and to earn their praise
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001
    18-21, M
    6 Responses Jun 24, 2015

    Seems To Fit

    It is hard to admit it but I think this is me. Most of the symptoms match. Years ago I discovered the word Introvert and thought it fitted quite well. I always thought of myself as a rather extreme introvert though. APD seems to fit even better.
    wraithorn wraithorn
    46-50, M
    5 Responses Apr 15, 2012

    I only learned about this term a few months ago.

    Honestly it felt good to have it named, as its been the largest single determining influence overall in my life as I look back. ie. not persueing opportunities and relationships that I regret. I also understand when ppl mention putting up a front or facade... the last thing...
    zenn7 zenn7
    56-60, M
    Feb 13

    It took me years of searching,

    but I finally found it. The answer to pretty much everything wrong with me. Why I do what I do. It's beautiful. In an awful, you have a personality disorder, kind of way. I have never identified with anything as much as I do AvPD. I found the list of symptoms and said yes to...
    jaisikae jaisikae
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Nov 23, 2014

    I have spent so many years with this

    dysfunctional state that I have grown comfortable in a state of anxiety. Can ANYBODY relate to this feeling?? e.g im not sweating, sat outside, weathers nice and i'm waiting for the sweat to come...its coming...coming...it comes every time. But my mind feels oddly relaxed on one...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jun 11, 2015

    I have been recently diaginosed with AvPD.

    I'm nearly completely isolated and I don't have a social life. I'm tired of being trapped in this tiny box. I'm so terrified of being judged and rejected that I don't give much effort into socializing.
    PainfullyAvoidant PainfullyAvoidant
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Aug 4, 2015

    I haven't been professionally diagnosed with it,

    but I highly suspect that I do have it. First and foremost, I believe it makes me prone to being dependent of others because it makes me inept to do things on my own that involves people. For example, I have to make important phones calls for a hospital bill, but what is...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Mar 8

    The Curse

    Before I say anything I would like to add that I was never diagnosed with this, but I do have almost every single symptom of it and live it every single day of my life. But since it isn't curable, I find no real reason to seek help for it. If you have APD I'm sure you will...
    KnightOfJustice KnightOfJustice
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Jul 25, 2013

    how can a person have apd

    and be a narcissist. anyone elce have these two disorders? the vulnerable narcissist? im a rare breed .. im self obsessed and avoidant and anxious.
    nikeboy488 nikeboy488
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Jan 24, 2014

    Dont you hate the feeling of incapable of

    trusting people around you, just because you think they would never love you like you did to them?
    TroglodyteWallflower TroglodyteWallflower
    31-35, F
    1 Response May 17, 2014

    I am worried about how I view others.

    it is like they are either above or below me. I was just at a football game and was thinking about others as commoners / stupid. I felt apart from them, separate. how can I survive with these attitudes??
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jul 18, 2015

    Avoidant 4ever

    We avoidants are often depressed, lonely, self-pitying thinking how bad is our life. But is it really so bad? We could end up worse. Because of AVPD I never had real close friends, never had any girl-friend, nor get laid. Geez.. I'm 26 so you can say "holy sh*t do something about...
    Crematory Crematory
    26-30, M
    Sep 14, 2011

    I'm often lonely because of lack of social

    interactions. My fear of rejection is to much to bare and yet the pain of being alone is also to painful.. anyone else?..
    PainfullyAvoidant PainfullyAvoidant
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 18, 2015

    I have various symptoms of this.

    especially sweaty palms, which has dogged me for several years, as well as sweating generally. As you can imagine, this has severely hampered my ability to do anything, and it is caused I think by feeling shame, or embarrassment. I feel sorry for people. I compete with everyone...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Jun 9, 2015

    It's so bad, I keep missing classes

    because I'm afraid everyone will stare at me if I walk in a few minutes late. So I don't go at all. I know it's irrational, but I feel like the professor will think I don't care about his class & by not going at all they will assume something came up. I don't know. I'm trying...
    kchristine7 kchristine7
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 22

    Apd

    OK, my story.. I was fine until I reached 13. Something changed in me. I developed what seemed like a school phobia (up all night worrying, withdrawn at school, terrified...) It was a dark time for me. Too much to say... I changed again and seemed ok for a while, for about a...
    zita27 zita27
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Sep 25, 2012

    Hallo everybody. I'm not sure

    if i have APD, because my doctor said i have BPD. Well, i never get angry on people, i don't change my opinions about them, and i don't change often my mood. My problem is my sensitivity on criticism, i always think people are watching me and think bad things about me. I don't...
    Almano1008 Almano1008
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Jul 25, 2015

    I just got diagnosed with APD at my

    psychiatrist's office. I knew I had ADD early on, Social Anxiety Disorder in highschool, but not until now, some 10 years later do I finally get to understand why. All the pain and suffering is finally explained, and why I have never met anyone else like me. All the symptoms...
    sakurakil sakurakil
    26-30, M
    3 Responses May 7, 2015

    I have been suffering with APD (avoidant

    personality disorder) for a while now. I've stopped answering calls, text messages. I'm scared of social interaction with people and feel I'm not welcome even though friends constantly try to contact me. I've driven away so many people and it breaks my heart to think about...
    Briahj Briahj
    13-15
    7 Responses Jun 11, 2015

    I only learned about this term a few months ago.

    Honestly it felt good to have it named, as its been the largest single determining influence overall in my life as I look back. ie. not persueing opportunities and relationships that I regret. I also understand when ppl mention putting up a front or facade... the last thing...
    zenn7 zenn7
    56-60, M
    1 Response Feb 13

    hi guys, I have found an amazing way to

    confront this...it is called Brahma kumaris. essentially is spirituality to confront negative beliefs we have built up. please please give this a go if you struggle with avpd. search bk Shivani on YouTube...there is usually an English summary at the end of her videos. search...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001
    18-21, M
    1 Response Sep 20, 2015

    As soon as I update anything on my social

    account I feel like everybody is judging me and I'll think the reason no one interacts with my posts is because I said something offensive and wrong and rude and it all spirals down my gut until I feel like all I can do is bring no interaction towards myself or pull unwanted...
    avemvogel avemvogel
    16-17, T
    Dec 3, 2015

    I Think Too Much.

    I was diagnosed a little over a year ago? It's probably been longer, actually. Back then i had a boyfriend who could deal with me being that way, but then again i took on his personality to escape from my own. Now i'm a lot stronger, i do a lot more things - But i still have...
    AkaiKarasu AkaiKarasu
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 17, 2012

    I will never bother you I will never promise

    to I will never follow you I will never bother you Never speak a word again I will crawl away for good I will move away from here You wont be afraid of fear No thought was put in to this I always knew it would come to this Things have never been so swell I have...
    Tbone33 Tbone33
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Dec 5, 2013

    Someone talking to me: Says something in a tone

    that might or might not be indicating that they are annoyed Me: They hate me. That's it. I have descended to my lowest. The Lowest. They hate me because I bring bad influence to them, no wonder. I should go away, far. I should avoid every living thing I find. I should not...
    avemvogel avemvogel
    16-17, T
    1 Response Dec 3, 2015

    Why I'm Thankful

    This disease more even more than others causes us to focus on what goes wrong in life. Rarely do think about what went wrong. So I decided I’m going to list what is good in my life. I’m a hard worker. I go to a first rate university in a booming city. I’m taking steps...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Sep 15, 2011

    I only learned about this term a few months ago.

    Honestly it felt good to have it named, as its been the largest single determining influence overall in my life as I look back. ie. not persueing opportunities and relationships that I regret. I also understand when ppl mention putting up a front or facade... the last thing...
    zenn7 zenn7
    56-60, M
    Feb 13

    I didn't even know this was a thing up

    until like a few mins ago but reading everyones posts about it, I'm absolutely sure I have it to. the people I want most in my life, for whatever reason, I often send off body language that rejects them. and I hold on go the stupidest things for like literally months on end. I...
    dathglas dathglas
    13-15, M
    1 Response Feb 14

    I hate having this because

    after one bad experience I have to "rationally"(to me) figure out if I want to put myself in certain situations. I miss out on so much befause I feel if it's too much of a risk I will avoid answering if I'm coming along, avoid the (possible) bad situation. (will I do something...
    jdrockstheak jdrockstheak
    26-30, F
    Dec 4, 2015

    I have spent most of my life by myself.

    I never really had much for fiends. There are very few people i keep in regular contact with only 3/4 if you count my brother who lives with me. I try to get out I go to the ymca to work out or play basketball but I never talk to anyone just keep to myself criticize myself when...
    Deathofall Deathofall
    31-35, M
    4 Responses Oct 22, 2014

    Its Like Looking In the Mirror

    Reading the description of Avoidant Personality Disorder is like looking in the mirror. I am an Adult Child of Alcholics who is struggling to outgrow her shyness and fear of rejection. I'd forgotten I had this disorder until I went to church tonight and they were discussing the...
    awannabe74 awannabe74
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Jul 30, 2008
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Aug 3, 2015

    I just realized after many years of isolation

    that I have AvPD. I have always wished I could "get out more" or have more friends but it was too difficult for me to take action. Talking to people is such a chore for me because I am constantly analyzing and judging everything I say and trying to figure out what the other...
    ekatt123 ekatt123
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Dec 10, 2015

    I wanted to message someone I knew way back

    but I decided not to and deleted the message and stared at my fingers for a really, really long time. It was unreal. I thought I've ascended.
    avemvogel avemvogel
    16-17, T
    Dec 3, 2015

    I find it easier to talk with strangers in the

    grocery store than to talk to my next door neighbors.
    Beth403 Beth403
    46-50, F
    Feb 11, 2014

    Hi! I think I have APD.

    I've never been diagnosed because I don't tell anybody about my problems and defeniatly don't want to visit a psychologe. I recognize all symptoms of APD in myself and I hope I can share experiences here ✌️
    xForgottenOne xForgottenOne
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 10, 2015

    I've been feeling horrific

    for the past few hours. embarressed around everybody and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm in hell.
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Jun 10, 2015

    there is something addicting about this highly

    charged feeling I have whenever I am outside. I don't want to lose it and go to a mediocre boring life. even if I change, I know I am not good enough...so why not experience this high, even though it means repeated embarrassment?
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001
    18-21, M
    1 Response Aug 12, 2015

    And sometimes it feels like a death sentence on

    long nights like tonight when you realize your only friends in the world are on other continents or halfway across the country all because you cant talk to people like a "normal" person. Ive been living this way so damn long sometimes i dont even feel human. The loneliness...
    shinjorai shinjorai
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Sep 13, 2014

    A Lone Wolf

    Damn I hate this disorder. I'm afraid of talking to anybody about it because I've been criticized by my parents my whole childhood, adolescents, and even now and I'm 19! I just can't talk to anyone, whenever someone around me is talking about a subject I like and want to say...
    Tbone33 Tbone33
    22-25, M
    4 Responses Mar 8, 2013

    I only learned about this term a few months ago.

    Honestly it felt good to have it named, as its been the largest single determining influence overall in my life as I look back. ie. not persueing opportunities and relationships that I regret. I also understand when ppl mention putting up a front or facade... the last thing...
    zenn7 zenn7
    56-60, M
    Feb 13

    As much as I hate having this disorder,

    I kind of feel like I deserve it. When I hear people say, "life isn't easy", I feel like telling them, "No ****". They should try to living life with Avoidant Personality Disorder and see how life is. Having to struggle with the fear of rejection and humiliation is an everyday...
    UnwantedLoser UnwantedLoser
    36-40, M
    4 Responses Dec 11, 2015
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