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I Have Avoidant Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 510 People

    For The New Semester

    College is a horrible nightmare. You're surrounded by the same people day in and day out. You see them in the dorm. You see them in class. You even see them at the library where you try to fence yourself off from the world and relax so you can get some damn work done. After a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 26, 2011

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    there is something addicting about this highly

    charged feeling I have whenever I am outside. I don't want to lose it and go to a mediocre boring life. even if I change, I know I am not good enough...so why not experience this high, even though it means repeated embarrassment?
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M Aug 12

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    I just recently researched this disorder

    after taking a personality quiz online. My results told me I suffer from APD. I haven't felt like this my whole life up until now. I'm not sure if going through trauma has made this affect on my or not. Every time I'm out with my friends drinking which is not often...
    heaven89 heaven89 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 15

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    I have spent so many years with this

    dysfunctional state that I have grown comfortable in a state of anxiety. Can ANYBODY relate to this feeling?? e.g im not sweating, sat outside, weathers nice and i'm waiting for the sweat to come...its coming...coming...it comes every time. But my mind feels oddly relaxed on one...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 11

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    Avoidant 4ever

    We avoidants are often depressed, lonely, self-pitying thinking how bad is our life. But is it really so bad? We could end up worse. Because of AVPD I never had real close friends, never had any girl-friend, nor get laid. Geez.. I'm 26 so you can say "holy sh*t do something about...
    Crematory Crematory 26-30, M Sep 14, 2011

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    Were supposed to go out tonight.

    Me my wife, and our roommate to a local bar. Im just hoping i dont make an *** out of myself. Im going to try not to drink too much but i get so damn nervous i tend to do that. Just want to have fun, but ive been in this funk the past few weeks i cant seem to shake. Just tired...
    shinjorai shinjorai 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 1, 2014

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    how can a person have apd

    and be a narcissist. anyone elce have these two disorders? the vulnerable narcissist? im a rare breed .. im self obsessed and avoidant and anxious.
    nikeboy488 nikeboy488 26-30, M 2 Responses Jan 24, 2014

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    I'm so lonely. Yet it is

    for the best. The best of myself, and the people who force themselves to be around me due to pity. I spent the most part of my life being so scared, so terrified of people hating who I am. It has been proven by those that are supposed to love you, your family, that I am not...
    SilentJamie SilentJamie 18-21, M 5 Responses Jul 2, 2014

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    I just had a horrific interview at McDonald's.

    On the way had thoughts that people from school days were laughing at me. Then felt so embarressed, such shame, like the interviewer could see through me. Nearly ran out of there. Is this just how I am...do I just need to man up?? Family have been good about this but I feel I...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 4 Responses Jul 6

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    It took me years of searching,

    but I finally found it. The answer to pretty much everything wrong with me. Why I do what I do. It's beautiful. In an awful, you have a personality disorder, kind of way. I have never identified with anything as much as I do AvPD. I found the list of symptoms and said yes to...
    jaisikae jaisikae 26-30, F 5 Responses Nov 23, 2014

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    Well its that time again,

    my monthly therapy appointment to try and deal with the monsterous multiflavored monkey on my back called APD. I almost feel its useless to go but i keep going because at least im doing something and it beats the heck out of doing nothing i suppose. Its such a weird illness...
    shinjorai shinjorai 36-40, M 3 Responses Oct 2, 2014

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    AvPD At 30

    I hit the 'BIG THREE OH' this year. It really is a shame that all birthdays after the age of 21, seem to have diminishing returns in terms of being desirable landmarks. I am sure that I, like many other sufferers/endurers of AvPD, need little prompting to partake in a spot of...
    andyjjj andyjjj 26-30, M 7 Responses Oct 16, 2012

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    Today,I found a few self-help tips

    and was excited to try them and change my life but then I looked at a few pictures of me and I thought why bother, I would still remain ugly. And all my hopes were shattered :(
    uglyshyguy uglyshyguy 22-25, M 2 Responses Jul 3

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    Do you get the disorder

    since you were born or get it in your life time? i believe i dont have this when i was born, i had a lot of friends when i was child. Trauma and bullying that make me feel unsafe to people that make me avoid people.
    chocolattee chocolattee 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 29, 2014

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    I've always had the feeling of being superior

    to people I have to keep myself under control and realize it's not a good thing. I always have to be careful of where I step and how I stand on a subject, over the years I've gotten better. I'm proud of my improvements that I have made. But nobody seems to understand I struggle...
    Autumnflowers Autumnflowers 18-21 May 2, 2014

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    The Curse

    Before I say anything I would like to add that I was never diagnosed with this, but I do have almost every single symptom of it and live it every single day of my life. But since it isn't curable, I find no real reason to seek help for it. If you have APD I'm sure you will...
    KnightOfJustice KnightOfJustice 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 25, 2013

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    I have been suffering with APD (avoidant

    personality disorder) for a while now. I've stopped answering calls, text messages. I'm scared of social interaction with people and feel I'm not welcome even though friends constantly try to contact me. I've driven away so many people and it breaks my heart to think about...
    Briahj Briahj 13-15 6 Responses Jun 11

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    Ya Think?

    Yes, I avoid social situations. I don't work. I assume I wouldn't pass an interview because I could not respond in the way I used to. Takes quick thinking. And I haven't worked since 2008 and don't know how to explain that. Basically, I don't like leaving the house anymore. Its...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Feb 9, 2012

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    Hi! I think I have APD.

    I've never been diagnosed because I don't tell anybody about my problems and defeniatly don't want to visit a psychologe. I recognize all symptoms of APD in myself and I hope I can share experiences here ✌️
    xForgottenOne xForgottenOne 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 10

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    I have been recently diaginosed with AvPD.

    I'm nearly completely isolated and I don't have a social life. I'm tired of being trapped in this tiny box. I'm so terrified of being judged and rejected that I don't give much effort into socializing.
    PainfullyAvoidant PainfullyAvoidant 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 4

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    I have various symptoms of this.

    especially sweaty palms, which has dogged me for several years, as well as sweating generally. As you can imagine, this has severely hampered my ability to do anything, and it is caused I think by feeling shame, or embarrassment. I feel sorry for people. I compete with everyone...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 3 Responses Jun 9

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    My Symptoms Of Avpd

    I'm supposed to name 5 things I like about myself and my life a day, but it's nearly impossible. These are the negatives. These are my struggles with my disorder. -I hate everything about my physical appearance. There is nothing beautiful about me, even the ones I like are so...
    Hilarie91 Hilarie91 22-25, F 8 Responses Oct 10, 2012

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    Apd

    OK, my story.. I was fine until I reached 13. Something changed in me. I developed what seemed like a school phobia (up all night worrying, withdrawn at school, terrified...) It was a dark time for me. Too much to say... I changed again and seemed ok for a while, for about a...
    zita27 zita27 36-40, F 6 Responses Sep 25, 2012

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    I don't know if any of you identify with this,

    but I'm not sure if I WANT to get better...I don't know if I'm scared...or it's a defense mechanism or what...I've been working on my relationships with people close to me and challenging my completely dysfunctional thought patterns, and then when I try to dismiss the anxiety...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 3 Responses Jun 21

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    My whole existence is based on other people.

    ..every thought, every action. Every movement I make is to make people think I'm cool...Every activity I do is to impress people, and to earn their praise
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 7 Responses Jun 24

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    I find being social extremely tiring

    and a bit timid to bring the stress on myself. It's not that I don't act myself around friends, I do. It's just a constant battle with myself to do so. You know how sometimes you can second guess yourself? Well for me that negative voice works overtime. I can get...
    Disobey247 Disobey247 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 2

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    SelfUnaware SelfUnaware 18-21 1 Response Aug 3

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    Dont you hate the feeling of incapable of

    trusting people around you, just because you think they would never love you like you did to them?
    TroglodyteWallflower TroglodyteWallflower 31-35, F 1 Response May 17, 2014

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    Why I'm Thankful

    This disease more even more than others causes us to focus on what goes wrong in life. Rarely do think about what went wrong. So I decided I’m going to list what is good in my life. I’m a hard worker. I go to a first rate university in a booming city. I’m taking steps...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 15, 2011

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    Preoccupied With The Approval Of Others

    Hello everyone.  I've not been formally diagnosed with this disorder, and as I understand, many of the symptoms are comorbid with many other psychological disorders.  I'm researching the DSM right now, and trying to figure out what I think may be going on with me...
    somegirl12345678 somegirl12345678 26-30 3 Responses May 9, 2010

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    I was recently diagnosed with AvPD.

    This is how I responded when my therapist read the traits. DSM-IV Criteria for Avoidant Personality Disorder (301.82)* A pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation, beginning by early adulthood and present in a...
    Beth403 Beth403 41-45, F 1 Response Feb 11, 2014

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    I Think Too Much.

    I was diagnosed a little over a year ago? It's probably been longer, actually. Back then i had a boyfriend who could deal with me being that way, but then again i took on his personality to escape from my own. Now i'm a lot stronger, i do a lot more things - But i still have...
    AkaiKarasu AkaiKarasu 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 17, 2012

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    I've been feeling horrific

    for the past few hours. embarressed around everybody and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm in hell.
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 3 Responses Jun 10

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    A Lone Wolf

    Damn I hate this disorder. I'm afraid of talking to anybody about it because I've been criticized by my parents my whole childhood, adolescents, and even now and I'm 19! I just can't talk to anyone, whenever someone around me is talking about a subject I like and want to say...
    Tbone33 Tbone33 18-21, M 4 Responses Mar 8, 2013

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    Isn't this basically social phobia?

    Or is there some difference? Because I have been diagnosed with social phobia and have had that all my life. But the symptoms are exactly the same as APD.
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 2 Responses Jan 10

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    And sometimes it feels like a death sentence on

    long nights like tonight when you realize your only friends in the world are on other continents or halfway across the country all because you cant talk to people like a "normal" person. Ive been living this way so damn long sometimes i dont even feel human. The loneliness...
    shinjorai shinjorai 36-40, M 3 Responses Sep 13, 2014

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    Seems To Fit

    It is hard to admit it but I think this is me. Most of the symptoms match. Years ago I discovered the word Introvert and thought it fitted quite well. I always thought of myself as a rather extreme introvert though. APD seems to fit even better.
    wraithorn wraithorn 46-50, M 6 Responses Apr 15, 2012

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    I find that whenever I am on the cusp of

    getting better, I think I am acting like other people. This is the aspect of AVPD where I have for years been appraising the movements of people who I felt had made it and were confident people. Now, whenever I feel good, I find myself acting like them. Is this on purpose? I don...
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 10

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    I find it easier to talk with strangers in the

    grocery store than to talk to my next door neighbors.
    Beth403 Beth403 41-45, F Feb 11, 2014

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    My Life And Avoidant Personality Disorder

    I have never been diagnosed with this disorder and at this point I don't feel the need to see a psychiatrist, as from experiece, I think that their medications do more harm than good for a person such as myself. I certainly don't want this disorder, it doesn't suit me to have a...
    andyjjj andyjjj 26-30, M 9 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    I Love To Meet You But I'd Probably Avoid You

    I don't have a story about this. I don't know how I got it, probably from my childhood experiences. I avoid everything and everyone. I avoid my roommates, I avoid the people at work. It's crazy, I'm charming and liked, but I still avoid everything. Too much anxiety, most like. It...
    Cryptifly Cryptifly 26-30, M 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    I've always had it. I never played with the

    other kids at recess from pre school to 5th grade. Middle school was a living hell and now I go to an alternative high school. I have a lot of mental disorders, but then again so do my parents.
    classAteam classAteam 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 30, 2014

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    At every social event I've gone to they want to

    make EVERYONE feel included, no wallflowers allowed. There always seem to be that one bubbly extrovert who just needs to know all about you, and she doesn't want any party poopers. Once she's pried some information out of you she introduces you to the next interrogator, oops...
    Beth403 Beth403 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 24, 2014

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    Right now, I'm a senior in high school----

    sitting in the bathroom for lunch 😥
    oinkoink3 oinkoink3 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    Its Like Looking In the Mirror

    Reading the description of Avoidant Personality Disorder is like looking in the mirror. I am an Adult Child of Alcholics who is struggling to outgrow her shyness and fear of rejection. I'd forgotten I had this disorder until I went to church tonight and they were discussing the...
    awannabe74 awannabe74 31-35, F 5 Responses Jul 30, 2008

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    I am worried about how I view others.

    it is like they are either above or below me. I was just at a football game and was thinking about others as commoners / stupid. I felt apart from them, separate. how can I survive with these attitudes??
    TheGentleman001 TheGentleman001 18-21, M 1 Response