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I Have Battled Depression Since Childhood

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,266 People

    I have lived in the darkness all my life.

    At every train station I would get close and hear the tracks calling me. Upon every balcony the ground was the only thing of interest to me. Yet something remarkable has happened. I decided to be honest, to be true to myself and act bravely according to it. Now when I stand on...
    passion4writing passion4writing 22-25, M 2 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    I've Always Had Depression

    I'm actually ok at the moment, probably the most well I've ever been. I've had depression as far back as I remember though. What I don't understand is why no one ever noticed it when I was a child. I used to isolate myself from other children at school, I'd walk up and...
    BlueberryMunchkin BlueberryMunchkin 31-35, F 6 Responses Aug 9, 2009

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    When I Was Lost, I Found The Light Out Of This Darkness

    Long Story But A True Story: This Is My Story I was born in the 70's I came from a broken family, I grew up in a poor family but we are all a very loving family. I struggled growing up, I was picked on in school, and I was bullied when I was in grade school up until I reached...
    mamabutterfly mamabutterfly 36-40, F 4 Responses Jun 8, 2012

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    Planned My Death, I Was So Depresseed

    I cant say for sure when I actually became 'depressed'. I know I spent most of my adolescence contemplating ending my life. I remember aquiring knives from the kitchen and scratching my wrists, wishing I could actually do it. I would be sat alone in my bedroom. For hours. just...
    taffytats taffytats 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 8, 2010

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    Each and everyday I face a demon,

    a demon known as depression, each and every day it chisels away at me bit by bit, everyday I lose more hope, more strength to carry on, it sucks my energy drains my life force, each and everyday I die slowly more and more, but I know that I have to keep building myself up even...
    nathchalk97 nathchalk97 18-21, M 3 Responses Mar 13

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    She's to young </3 Not

    yet do the parents know that they will soon be the youngest grandparents on the block. Walking through the store, everyone stares but no one says a thing. The girl tries to conceal her secret from the world, but this eight months will not allow her that simple pleasure. She...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 25

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    I wrote this in three minutes at 2am

    when I was crying myself to sleep. It's like all my feelings just fell on the page.
    BriBel BriBel 16-17, F 6 days ago

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    Even though I only started being told by

    psychologists the past few years that i have depression, i definitely think its been a life long experience. when i was younger i think i hid it wel and nobody really took notice until a few years ago when i finally snapped and ended up going to my doctor who then got me to see...
    mattywheels25 mattywheels25 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 5

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    recently I've tried to stay happy.

    ...I finally broke wjen i saw my little sisters face when she saw me holding a loaded gun to my head
    angeldope17 angeldope17 18-21, F Mar 9

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    "You're strong, and I admire you.

    " Words I want so desperately to be said to me.
    emiveritas emiveritas 18-21, F 10 Responses Feb 12

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    The Link Between Bullying And Depression

    Bullying can cause many long-term effects and depression is definitely one of the problems caused by bullying. Being bullied is a humiliating experience for anybody to go through and it can destroy a persons confidence and self-esteem. When a person has low self-esteem and their...
    bullyhelp bullyhelp 31-35, M 3 Responses Oct 10, 2011

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    I hate my life. I can't get over all the bad

    mistakes I've made and I feel like I'm worthless and going nowhere.
    Paratrooper94 Paratrooper94 18-21, M 2 Responses May 4

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    I spend most of my time sitting on the internet

    and not leaving my house, or attending parties people invite me to. Some days I can't even dress myself. I can't leave the house without someone coming with me, like I'd make it past the drive and turn around. I don't even like visiting my parents without someone coming with me...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 7, 2014

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    I pretty much had no reason to be alive

    as a kid. That's something I'm starting to work on now. Is that depression ?? I don't know.
    consistentshift consistentshift 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 12

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    I have been going through depression

    since i was a child and past few years its gone a lot worse so i went to the doctors and he referred me to healthy minds but issue is I'm on a waiting list that's going to take weeks until there ready to see me so i have to cope with the depression for ages before they will help...
    ymasxatl ymasxatl 22-25, F Jun 6

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    Sometimes when I face the world I feel

    even more ****. People can be horrible. I'm too sensitive and it's my fault for letting myself be affected by the way people think and talk about me. Maybe they are right though and I'm just a **** person. I lack so much confidence and self esteem that it scares me and I'm not...
    Heyyo1 Heyyo1 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    My friend has started her own blog about

    suffering depression and anxiety. Check it out! https://karabethb.wordpress.com/
    SupernovaxxGirl SupernovaxxGirl 26-30, F Jun 11

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    I have struggled with major depression,

    as a direct result of complex high betrayal trauma, ever since I was a little girl. From the time I was 7 years old until the time I was 9 years old, I endured one traumatic occurrence after another in my family of origin. I have pretty much never been the same ever since. The...
    Aimee17 Aimee17 41-45, F 26 Responses Nov 18, 2014

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    It doesn't matter how painful life is at the

    moment, I always put others before myself. Nobody is there when I need support most, though.
    oodleskaboodles oodleskaboodles 16-17, F Apr 14

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    I take medicine to sleep,

    it's an Indian version of seroquel.
    kiddishguypete kiddishguypete 26-30, M May 19

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    I Was Depressed

    *people always tell me I have no idea how they feel about being depressed... but I do!!! Well, my name is Kendall. I'm 15 years old. I've got 2 brothers. One is 12, and the other is 16. I loveee life. God is my number 1 best friend (: he always listens <33 I've got tons of...
    cutebutterfly cutebutterfly 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 5, 2012

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    so depressed . I'm so tired to feeling this way.

    why can't it be happiness instead of sadness
    flowergirl1997 flowergirl1997 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 23

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    sigh.................

    .......................................!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is really very hard for me to talk about that , but i would like to do , when i was a child i missed the sympathy of my mother and father , since i lived far away from them with my grandmother(they were always abroad) , in...
    umayyad umayyad 31-35, M 4 Responses Feb 13

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    Depressed Since I Was 13.

    I am now a 45 YR old woman and I have been depressed for the most part since I was 13.It all started when I was 13 and the bullying in school began. I was teased, called names, beat up, spit on, tripped, laughed at, etc. This went on for 2 1/2 YRS. My life has been full of...
    IMPogueMahone IMPogueMahone 46-50, F 2 Responses Aug 10, 2012

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    Hi, I'm a 21 year old medical student living

    abroad, I was diagnosed with bipolar nearly 3 years ago, and before that I struggled a lot. I let it get quite far before my family told me to seek medical help, and finally gave me the courage to take a step forward. I've dealt with severe depression and bipolar for as long as...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 26

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    I've been able to recover from a deep

    depression the lasted for several years. I had no hope, I tried lots of medication, but any seemed to work. I have come back to life again...
    estrella77 estrella77 36-40, F 1 Response May 31

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    i have honestly been suffering from depression

    and anxiety since i was 4. horrible i know. i grew up at 7, i was forced. i never got to be kid. i was discussing budgets and bills, accommodation etc since i was 10. i didn't get a childhood, didnt get happiness. but now i ahve more life experience than most, and i am...
    butterflykisses11 butterflykisses11 16-17, F 1 Response May 6

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    SleepingWithMyChemicalVeil SleepingWithMyChemicalVeil 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    Moweb95 Moweb95 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 21

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    It's hard to explain to

    even a therapist what it feels like to not belong to your own future. To feel as though you weren't meant to be, a mistake only you can rectify. I spent time in a mental institution when I was 18 after my therapist feared I would attempt suicide. I didn't spend long there, and...
    HansFizzlebeef HansFizzlebeef 18-21, M Mar 7

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    I have always been depressed sence I could

    remember I always act ok and never let on how I truly feel I don't take meds for it though I probably should but I just find the fact that given my personality I might abuse the meds so I don't take any
    Toyx Toyx 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 27, 2014

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    I was molested, abused,

    bullied, betrayed etc. I didn't always believe in GOD. I used to blame him for everything wrong. Why are you doing this to me? Why is this happening to me? Turns out GOD wasn't harming me. I never thanked for the good he's done, I just cursed his name when something bad happened...
    dashuria dashuria 16-17, F 5 Responses Nov 9, 2014

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    I don't suffer from depression,

    but I met somebody on ep last year who does, and whose life has been dominated by it since early childhood. We conversed for around nine months, with ups and downs, as you would expect. At first, it was difficult to extract any information, but gradually we opened up to each...
    KitFornay KitFornay 51-55, M Apr 22

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    The Monarchs Whisper

    Hello, my name is Deep Williams and I am a filmmaker. About a year ago a story came to my mind when I was sitting quietly. 'Do a movie about suicide". I could not believe the overwhelming feeling I had after that encounter. I immediately began to write a screenplay and never...
    deepwilliams deepwilliams 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 14, 2011

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    I've been fighting depression

    since I can remember, I was beaten by my father, bullied, hated and laughed at called names because im bisexual. I've danced with death and it has come to 19 years of being pushed to the edge. I can't fight this on my own and i've come to realise that, so it's time to make this...
    TheMadHatteri TheMadHatteri 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 19

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    The Same Battles

    I am turning 19 in December and find myself facing the same battles I did when I was 14. Nothing's changed. I feel like I am still that little girl, who felt unfair and furious while she was kicked into that gigantic black hole and asked God "Why me?", who curled up in...
    SomewhereTomorrow SomewhereTomorrow 18-21, F 7 Responses Aug 19, 2009

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    I Was Sad!!

    yep, thats right, pretty much from the time i remember, when i was in my younger years in school and so on, i remember having days where i was pretty happy, and then there would be other days when i would have to try put on a fake smile, and hide my true feelings, cos at that age...
    cowshed123 cowshed123 31-35, M 16 Responses Nov 4, 2011

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    For me, it is waves. Big waves,

    little waves- no discrimination in size, cause or timing. It can feel so random. Or it can feel as if it was triggered. It can last hours, days, weeks or months at a time. Similarly, it can stay away for hours, days, weeks or months at a time. I cannot remember the last time it...
    fromthegirlonthewall fromthegirlonthewall 22-25, F May 3

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    I accidentally forgot my meds two days in a row.

    .. Im not feeling too good. I remember being told coming off of them could sometimes be worse than the original depression. But *******. My face is wet before I know Im crying, and that just makes me sob harder. I break my own heart by how sad I can become, by the lows Ive known...
    RebeccaJane00 RebeccaJane00 18-21, F Apr 27

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    When I was four years old,

    I developed depression issues due to the fact that I was treated like my life meant nothing and because I was physically abused. Then, when I was 11, I lost my maternal grandmother, which then cause my mother to plummet into a major depression; she has tried to commit suicide at...
    TheKatAttack TheKatAttack 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 19

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    I have been dealing with depression

    for as long as I can remember. From before I even knew what to call it. I am thankful that my darker periods are less frequent and don’t last as long as they used to, but I have come to accept that I will be dealing with it for the rest of my life. It’ll always be a part...
    AnonymousEP77 AnonymousEP77 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 5, 2014

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    I Admire All Of You.

    I can't understand how you all have the strength to talk about it. I haven't had an experience a quarter as bad as some others' have, and yet it's still hard for me to go back so far.  I can think back, yes; I remember a time I nearly committed suicide in 4th grade (I was just...
    ThePlisken ThePlisken 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 27, 2013

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    I've been dealing with this

    for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be before my depression. Recently I have been able to see some light. It's not easy, and I have bad days but I have after 10...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F Mar 6

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    I always feel like I'm walking around in a

    dream. This life is so much like a night mare and it's slowly smothering me.
    thugkaylee thugkaylee 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 8, 2014

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    Why Can't I Change These Feelings

    The first realization of depressive thoughts started when I entered my teens.  Rage and anger is all I can recall and did not know why.  As an adult, I know my mother suffered from depression.  And realize my daughter as a child also showed signs at a very...
    AnnieLynn AnnieLynn 51-55, F 4 Responses Jul 9, 2007

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    My birthday is coming up.

    It's the worst day of the year for me. People are supposed to be happy on their birthdays. I can't be happy about the day I came into existence when I just wish I didn't exist.
    sansabri sansabri 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 18

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