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I Have Battled Depression Since Childhood

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,597 People

    The Same Battles

    I am turning 19 in December and find myself facing the same battles I did when I was 14. Nothing's changed. I feel like I am still that little girl, who felt unfair and furious while she was kicked into that gigantic black hole and asked God "Why me?", who curled up in...
    SomewhereTomorrow SomewhereTomorrow 18-21, F 7 Responses Aug 19, 2009

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    Forty Years Of Depression-what Helps Sometimes?

     Many times just reading about how someone else interprets depression helps me to understand and accept my own in a new light.  Depression is not who you are, depression is something that interferes with who you are...like a separate entity.  Some people will...
    FuschiaTulip FuschiaTulip 51-55, F 1 Response Mar 7, 2010

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    I give up when depression creeps up.

    I sleep when I know it's coming because if I let my depression settle in, she takes over and destroys everything I've built up while she was gone.
    getoutsideofmyhead getoutsideofmyhead 16-17, F Jan 12

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    When I Was Lost, I Found The Light Out Of This Darkness

    Long Story But A True Story: This Is My Story I was born in the 70's I came from a broken family, I grew up in a poor family but we are all a very loving family. I struggled growing up, I was picked on in school, and I was bullied when I was in grade school up until I reached...
    mamabutterfly mamabutterfly 36-40, F 4 Responses Jun 8, 2012

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    Family Photos

    When I was 9, my dad and my brother and I took family photos for my mom for Christmas. We went out for breakfast and everyone had a great time before we took the pictures. Before that, i stayed with my grandparents for a week. They've hated me my whole life. my grand parents...
    sarahrosee sarahrosee 18-21, F Jul 24, 2013

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    I was diagnosed with depression at eight years

    old and have lived with it in such a way that it has crippled nearly every aspect of my life. I have never been on medication to help me deal with depression and I have always battled it alone. My family never took my diagnosis seriously. It was always something else to them...
    Scorpio018 Scorpio018 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 26

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    Depression, My Friend

    Childhood, so lovely and fragile Like a hummingbird's wing Childhood, fresh and full of hope Bright, white, no black smudges Childhood, a period full of possibilities A time when you believe anything can happen Love, Hope, Growth, Pure Childhood , a time of no regrets But I...
    fuglygirlonthebench fuglygirlonthebench 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 29, 2012

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    My Earliest Memory

    One of my earliest memories is when I was bullied a lot in middle school. I remember how I wanted to fit in with the “cool” kids, the popular ones. I was a very quiet little girl, and very shy too. The other kids knew that about me and therefore thought that I was the...
    mrjmel mrjmel 22-25, F Sep 29, 2013

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    Why Can't I Change These Feelings

    The first realization of depressive thoughts started when I entered my teens.  Rage and anger is all I can recall and did not know why.  As an adult, I know my mother suffered from depression.  And realize my daughter as a child also showed signs at a very...
    AnnieLynn AnnieLynn 51-55, F 4 Responses Jul 9, 2007

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    No Fixing It

    Depression. It isn’t a question as to if I have it. I have known I was depressed since the fifth grade. By then, I was in a habit of hurting myself, and I had tried several times to kill myself, unknown to my parents, and unsuccessful in every use of the word. I hate myself. I...
    Swanfirefly Swanfirefly 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 30, 2013

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    Med Merry Go Round

    I was diagnosed as Manic-depressive or Bipolar when I was 10, in 1992. The immediately put me on Prozac which gave me severe insomnia. I quit taking them so my parents started putting them in my food. I ran away when I was 15 due mostly to this. Since then I've been on many other...
    paigegurl paigegurl 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2010

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    Not Since My Childhood, But For About a Decade.

    My depression began when I was older.  I'm not sure exactly when, but it really spiked when my daughter started having medical problems.  I didn't want to take any medication because my mother had just had a nervous breakdown and the consensus in the family was that her...
    Oouie Oouie 36-40, F 3 Responses Apr 5, 2008

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    A Problem Shared, A Problem Halved; They Say

    First of all I wanna kind of challenge this saying that a lot of people are more than likely familiar with. Yes, although I do agree getting things of your chest and ranting it to someone else makes you feel better, how is it making the receiver feel, and how does the receiver...
    XanthiaJo XanthiaJo 22-25, F 1 Response May 7, 2013

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    Sometimes no matter what I do,

    I find myself down for no reason. I just had a WONDERFUL day and I have this overwhelming urge to just sit and cry. About what? I have no idea. It was so overwhelming that I had to leave my friends at karaoke early. I lied to my best friend and told her she can't spend the night...
    vault101 vault101 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 2

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    I have came to complete acceptance

    that depression will likely always be apart of me., a piece of me I carry through my days here as an earthling . This is not me saying, hey I give up. I have learned to become one with this soul-dissecting disease of melancholy. It at the very least has been a struggle, the...
    Allissaxxx Allissaxxx 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 28

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    I'M Scared Of Going Back.

    I was once in a very dark place. Every time I felt alone I called it "The black hole" because whenever I looked up I saw the room getting swallowed in darkness. 1 year later and two months I'm a whole different person. Happy and smiling again, I even got a bf. But after that...
    Deepess Deepess 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 29, 2013

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    Childhood

    I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember.
    mailmanshadow mailmanshadow 51-55, M 3 Responses Sep 23, 2011

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    It's hard to continually ignore.

    It's always been there and it almost destroyed me once, when I was still just a kid. Now, though I really feel certain ill always be stuck with it. I can get picked up for a period of minutes, but usually the days just seem to drift in and out with varying degrees of pain...
    someoneandstuff someoneandstuff 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 12

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    Ever since I had the very first signs of

    puberty I have been an emotional wreck. It's been ten years now and I'm 18 years old. I can't even keep a smile on my face. I was always been bullied and rejected as a kid, and others avoided me. When I was 12 I admitted to my mother that I felt suicidal and I wanted help...
    Twichl Twichl 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 16

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    I've always been depressed .

    Being bullied when I was younger being molested throughout my life & raped once . I do everything in my power to forget about being depressed . Bad good idc all I wanna do is forget . I forget sometimes but then I remember an I don't feel like this will ever go away
    byancax33 byancax33 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

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    I was diagnosed with clinical depression

    when I was about fourteen years old, but I have dealt with it my whole life. From my experience, it feels like it is something that will never be cured-- merely something I have to learn to work around and live with. A chemical imbalance that is much like any other physical...
    CarryonPigeon CarryonPigeon 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 30, 2013

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    I Was Sad!!

    yep, thats right, pretty much from the time i remember, when i was in my younger years in school and so on, i remember having days where i was pretty happy, and then there would be other days when i would have to try put on a fake smile, and hide my true feelings, cos at that age...
    cowshed123 cowshed123 31-35, M 16 Responses Nov 4, 2011

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    It's like a void where there had to be actual

    feelings. I s suffered and still suffer alone, far from home, trying to find myself a way in my life. So, basically, the only persons in my life that think of me are my Mom, my brother and my best friend. I am afraid to sleep or enjoy music for example, I feel guilty for not...
    suns3ta suns3ta 18-21, F Mar 22

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    I don't wanna feel this way anymore.

    I wasn't happy being a child, and today a teenager. I'm tired of hiding it.
    97hefi 97hefi 16-17, F Feb 25

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    I have been dealing with depression

    for as long as I can remember. From before I even knew what to call it. I am thankful that my darker periods are less frequent and don’t last as long as they used to, but I have come to accept that I will be dealing with it for the rest of my life. It’ll always be a part...
    AnonymousEP77 AnonymousEP77 41-45, M Apr 5

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    “I’Ve Killed Someone, You See

    “I’ve Killed Someone, you see I used to be normal, as normal as I could be, with many simple morals, but I’ve killed someone, you see. My parents are divorced, but that’s not quite a shock. Enjoying life is forced, you’ll see some pieces interlock. Though I was never...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 22, 2013

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    I Was Depressed

    *people always tell me I have no idea how they feel about being depressed... but I do!!! Well, my name is Kendall. I'm 15 years old. I've got 2 brothers. One is 12, and the other is 16. I loveee life. God is my number 1 best friend (: he always listens <33 I've got tons of...
    cutebutterfly cutebutterfly 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 5, 2012

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    I Admire All Of You.

    I can't understand how you all have the strength to talk about it. I haven't had an experience a quarter as bad as some others' have, and yet it's still hard for me to go back so far.  I can think back, yes; I remember a time I nearly committed suicide in 4th grade (I was just...
    ThePlisken ThePlisken 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 27, 2013

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    My Depressing Past Life

    Introduction: Back in the days or years when I was a young toddler I was physically abused I have no memory during those years I was living with a foster family they neglected me and my medical needs also there was another foster child living with me and the family her needs were...
    ShadowTheDark ShadowTheDark 18-21, M Oct 16, 2013

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    Sometimes It Just Helps To Get It All Out

    I went from being a happy, cheerful child who believed the world was a safe place full of well-meaning people to an anxious, guilt-ridden child with bouts of depression and a few panic attacks. I was ten years old in 1981, I had one brother, Andrew, who was eight. We literally...
    lauren71 lauren71 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 24, 2013

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    Childhood

    My parents and sister died in a car accident when I was four years old. Instead of walking into kindergarten, I was wheeled in my wheel chair because I had broken both of my thighs in the crash. Everyone asked me why my grandparents came to school for my parent functions. I didn...
    mslice714 mslice714 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 18, 2013

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    I Have Had Depression Since...

    I have had depression since I was at least 10. probably before that, but it wasn't diagnosed.
    turtlemusic28 turtlemusic28 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 5, 2008

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    Not A Story...Comics About Depression

    http://acidcow.com/pics/50796-comics-about-depression-21-pics.html
    veralynn veralynn 26-30, F 3 Responses Oct 28, 2013

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    needlessthings needlessthings 31-35, M Mar 28

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    I Don't Really Understand What Is The Purpose Behind Depression

    My name is Saoud and i've been suffering from Depression for 3 years. I don't really know whats the purpose behind my Depression, i don't know how i got it and why i got it but i am depressed. Depression to a lot of people it sounds like sadness but its not its this emptiness you...
    saoudmohamed saoudmohamed 18-21, M 3 Responses Aug 2, 2013

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    Pain

    I wish I could chip the pain away layer by layer To get to the core Of this problem This problem that makes me cringe And cry And run from fright This pain Holds me like a clutch So tight I might Just be to in over My head This fence This cage This nightmare Will never let me go...
    shutupbehappy shutupbehappy 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 11, 2011

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    I have lived in the darkness all my life.

    At every train station I would get close and hear the tracks calling me. Upon every balcony the ground was the only thing of interest to me. Yet something remarkable has happened. I decided to be honest, to be true to myself and act bravely according to it. Now when I stand on...
    passion4writing passion4writing 22-25, M 2 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    Just Another Story About Dark Times...

    I've battle depression since I was 12 or 13. My life has never been very easy for many reasons, but it turned into hell with my step-father's alcoholism. I can't even tell you how terrible that was. I remember myself 13-year-old, standing with a noose on my neck and now I feel I...
    Juuli Juuli 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 30, 2011

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    The Death Of A Culture

      I'm too young to feel this old. In less than 50 years of life, I've seen the culture I grew up with die before my very eyes, and it took with it most of my family members. My parents are gone; my oldest brother is gone, my aunt recently passed away; she was the last of my...
    northguy northguy 46-50, M 4 Responses Oct 4, 2012

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    Lost Childhood

    I have had depression since I was about 11-12. I feel like I have lost most of my childhood because of it. No one has taken any notice until just recently and even then it feels like they don't really want to have to deal with it anymore. My parents have never been supportive...
    NFW92 NFW92 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    I remember near the end of last year I was

    so deeply in depression. This might sound odd but everything was shades of gray. I find this odd but it's true. I hope to never go to that state. But I have to say sometimes I get so depressed I have no emotion. Nothing and it's nice bc no pain or sadness but then again staring...
    Indiegirl3 Indiegirl3 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 8

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    I've Always Had Depression

    I'm actually ok at the moment, probably the most well I've ever been. I've had depression as far back as I remember though. What I don't understand is why no one ever noticed it when I was a child. I used to isolate myself from other children at school, I'd walk up and...
    BlueberryMunchkin BlueberryMunchkin 31-35, F 6 Responses Aug 9, 2009

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    I am so tired of feeling like this.

    I pray everyday to feel better I just don't know how.
    Tamona35 Tamona35 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 1

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    Wondering...

    what the hell is wrong with me? Why has there been this dark cloud hanging over me since the beginning of time (or so it seems)? I wonder if I experienced some trauma as a baby/child that plunged me into this deep dark hole that I can't find my way out of. It started as emotional...
    shylamarais shylamarais 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 26, 2012

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    Ever since I was 13, I've battled depression.

    It's really hit me hard over these years. Especially, now.. I'm so lost. Confused, really. I just don't know what to do or say or think. When people ask me what's wrong now, I just don't feel like wasting my breath anymore. What's the point? It's not like talking will make the...
    Nevershoutkourtnii Nevershoutkourtnii 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 23

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    Planned My Death, I Was So Depresseed

    I cant say for sure when I actually became 'depressed'. I know I spent most of my adolescence contemplating ending my life. I remember aquiring knives from the kitchen and scratching my wrists, wishing I could actually do it. I would be sat alone in my bedroom. For hours. just...
    taffytats taffytats 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 8, 2010

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    It's only since I went down into a very dark

    hole a few years ago that I began to realise that I've fought this for as long as I can remember. The world and life can be so full of distractions that you don't have time,energy and mental space to grow any kind of awareness that something is wrong. Until it becomes too much...
    Kynkanjis Kynkanjis 36-40, M Dec 7, 2013

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    A Losing Battle

    yeah it seems like I have always battled with depression. i was great in school, had lots of "friends" but always felt alone. at 13 when my mother threw me out of the house and i ended up in Children's Aid is when things got really bad and i was officially diagnosed with major...
    NobodiesDaughter NobodiesDaughter 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 4, 2012

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    Depressed Since I Was 13.

    I am now a 45 YR old woman and I have been depressed for the most part since I was 13.It all started when I was 13 and the bullying in school began. I was teased, called names, beat up, spit on, tripped, laughed at, etc. This went on for 2 1/2 YRS. My life has been full of...
    IMPogueMahone IMPogueMahone 46-50, F 2 Responses Aug 10, 2012

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    13 And Grown

    Hi I'm almost 14 and here is my story. When I was born 1999 I was born into a family with a mom, a dad, 2 sisters, an a brother. Ashlynn,Madison and Jacob, I am the youngest. When I was born my dad was a severe Alcoholic and would always come home from work angry and drunk.(he...
    Redlover248 Redlover248 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 3, 2013

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    The Monarchs Whisper

    Hello, my name is Deep Williams and I am a filmmaker. About a year ago a story came to my mind when I was sitting quietly. 'Do a movie about suicide". I could not believe the overwhelming feeling I had after that encounter. I immediately began to write a screenplay and never...
    deepwilliams deepwilliams 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 14, 2011

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    My Depressing Life Story

    I was adopted by a family for whom doesn't care about me (I was born in Germany as a infant and came to america at the age of 5). I never really made any friends and kept to my self. I made a friend who was basically my twin but not biologically, he looked and acted like me...
    herohtrix herohtrix 22-25, M 2 Responses Nov 10, 2013

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    My Story

    Here I am again.  I'm having writer's block yet again just when I want to put down what I have been struggling with for years now.  It happened so often before.  I can't seem to chose the right words nor find the right, most...
    ValR ValR 41-45, F 7 Responses Aug 2, 2009

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    Rather than self-destruction I sleep.

    I don't know what to do. I just had the best week I've had in a long time. I've lived with my aunt and uncle for four months now, before I never knew them. My mother and father struggle with work and money and it makes me cry and feel overwelmed. Anyways I have school tomorrow...
    getoutsideofmyhead getoutsideofmyhead 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 12

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    I Thought It Was All Over

    At one point I thought somehow my psychosis, clinical depression, anxiety and god knows what else had suddenly went away. I was so wrong... I can't stand it... the depression, the self harming, the hallucinations, the voices, the panic attacks... My Finnish penpal, my Autistic...
    Cantoiii Cantoiii 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 17, 2013

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    I Haven't Won, But I'm Not Giving Up

    It recently occurred to me that while I've written to people about my experiences with depression, and about my life in general, I've never really summarized it in one place, so here it goes. I was born to a teenaged pregnancy. My mother had met a guy in her small town high...
    Sleaxor Sleaxor 18-21, M 3 Responses Oct 3, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    i have had depression since high school cause i use to get bullied and i take everything at heart all the time no matter what people say to me i let it get to me, i have had help...
    westlife213 westlife213 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 2