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I Have Battled Depression Since Childhood

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,366 People

    i have honestly been suffering from depression

    and anxiety since i was 4. horrible i know. i grew up at 7, i was forced. i never got to be kid. i was discussing budgets and bills, accommodation etc since i was 10. i didn't get a childhood, didnt get happiness. but now i ahve more life experience than most, and i am...
    butterflykisses11 butterflykisses11 16-17, F 1 Response May 6

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    I wrote this in three minutes at 2am

    when I was crying myself to sleep. It's like all my feelings just fell on the page.
    BriBel BriBel 16-17, F Jun 26

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    When I was four years old,

    I developed depression issues due to the fact that I was treated like my life meant nothing and because I was physically abused. Then, when I was 11, I lost my maternal grandmother, which then cause my mother to plummet into a major depression; she has tried to commit suicide at...
    TheKatAttack TheKatAttack 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 19

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    Ever since I was 13, I've battled depression.

    It's really hit me hard over these years. Especially, now.. I'm so lost. Confused, really. I just don't know what to do or say or think. When people ask me what's wrong now, I just don't feel like wasting my breath anymore. What's the point? It's not like talking will make the...
    Nevershoutkourtnii Nevershoutkourtnii 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 23, 2014

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    I always feel like I'm walking around in a

    dream. This life is so much like a night mare and it's slowly smothering me.
    thugkaylee thugkaylee 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 8, 2014

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    And just now, l feel I'm participating in life

    and doing what I'm supposed to be doing, but at the same time, l feel I'm detached. I can't muster up the enthusiasm for anything much. Everything seems like an effort. Today is yet another day to get through..to reach ..what? The end? Tonight l confided in my partner how l...
    MistyGoddess MistyGoddess 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 13

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    I was molested, abused,

    bullied, betrayed etc. I didn't always believe in GOD. I used to blame him for everything wrong. Why are you doing this to me? Why is this happening to me? Turns out GOD wasn't harming me. I never thanked for the good he's done, I just cursed his name when something bad happened...
    dashuria dashuria 16-17, F 5 Responses Nov 9, 2014

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    I wish I would have been diagnosed

    as a child. It was suggested to me but I didn't want to listen or believe it. I had such a struggle concentrating and caring about anything. I was at the doctor many times for physical ailments that could not be explained or treated. Everyone thought I was just lazy, bad or...
    455cargirl 455cargirl 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 1

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    I felt neutral today,

    not excited or down, just sort of middle of the road, knowing my mood could take off in any direction. I knew IT was lurking in the background, as it always is, waiting, for the "right" moment to pounce. Me. '.. l know your there. .. waiting... We need to talk! ' IT...
    MistyGoddess MistyGoddess 41-45, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I've been in foster care

    since the beginning of the first grade. It's hard because I still get memories of someone choking my mother. :( I don't like remembering...
    KidBi13 KidBi13 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 16

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    I spend most of my time sitting on the internet

    and not leaving my house, or attending parties people invite me to. Some days I can't even dress myself. I can't leave the house without someone coming with me, like I'd make it past the drive and turn around. I don't even like visiting my parents without someone coming with me...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 7, 2014

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    I've been fighting depression

    since I can remember, I was beaten by my father, bullied, hated and laughed at called names because im bisexual. I've danced with death and it has come to 19 years of being pushed to the edge. I can't fight this on my own and i've come to realise that, so it's time to make this...
    TheMadHatteri TheMadHatteri 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 19

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    I think my own cure for depression is having a

    best friend. Someone who is there for me, and enjoys similar things. I felt depressed and alone for so long, it was normal. While I enjoy being alone, it is my worst nightmare. I was a quiet girl, loved games and tried to stay out of gossip and drama. I kept to myself for my...
    Maihowl Maihowl 22-25, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Each and everyday I face a demon,

    a demon known as depression, each and every day it chisels away at me bit by bit, everyday I lose more hope, more strength to carry on, it sucks my energy drains my life force, each and everyday I die slowly more and more, but I know that I have to keep building myself up even...
    nathchalk97 nathchalk97 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 13

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    I don't know how it started.

    I was in second grade and I became sensitive to teasing. It came out of nowhere. I had not been like this in the first grade. I had a teacher -- a Dominican nun -- who decided that the cure was to tease me more so that I developed a thicker skin. Of course, this only made...
    emperornorton47 emperornorton47 56-60, M 4 days ago

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    I have struggled with major depression,

    as a direct result of complex high betrayal trauma, ever since I was a little girl. From the time I was 7 years old until the time I was 9 years old, I endured one traumatic occurrence after another in my family of origin. I have pretty much never been the same ever since. The...
    Aimee17 Aimee17 41-45, F 26 Responses Nov 18, 2014

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    It's an ongoing thing.

    Today has been one of my good days. . So, l decided to try and think logically, about it all.. True..whatever the source is that's causing the depression shouldn't matter today, in this moment in time. All that is in the past... distant past. And although it does bother me a...
    MistyGoddess MistyGoddess 41-45, F 11 Responses 5 days ago

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    Mine is simple. I didn't have many friends,

    grew up in the ghetto and got beat up pretty bad by bullies in elementary. Been bullied and a loner since the third grade. It continues into high school but bullies have stopped. Now I just get the occasional hater. But hey, doesn't everybody? Ever since I have found my love in...
    KatarinaWu KatarinaWu 16-17, F Jul 12

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    My friend has started her own blog about

    suffering depression and anxiety. Check it out! https://karabethb.wordpress.com/
    SupernovaxxGirl SupernovaxxGirl 26-30, F Jun 11

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    I have been dealing with depression

    for as long as I can remember. From before I even knew what to call it. I am thankful that my darker periods are less frequent and don’t last as long as they used to, but I have come to accept that I will be dealing with it for the rest of my life. It’ll always be a part...
    AnonymousEP77 AnonymousEP77 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 5, 2014

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    I have always been depressed sence I could

    remember I always act ok and never let on how I truly feel I don't take meds for it though I probably should but I just find the fact that given my personality I might abuse the meds so I don't take any
    Toyx Toyx 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 27, 2014

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    When I was a little one,

    I was abused. Tormented u could say. I felt miserable and frail, like I wasn't worth anything. But there was and still is one person who saved me. My friend dessere, she has been my friend for life and battles leukemia. She have 11 months and a 42% chance of living. These things...
    saraluvdom saraluvdom 13-15, F Jul 12

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    What! You mean it's

    as easy as thinking positive thoughts ... Gee, l never knew. .that's where I've been going wrong! I'm getting rather tired of the assumptions that postive thinking is a cure for depression. Of course, it helps those of certain mindset but for those of us who think deeper and...
    MistyGoddess MistyGoddess 41-45, F 10 Responses a week ago

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    I Admire All Of You.

    I can't understand how you all have the strength to talk about it. I haven't had an experience a quarter as bad as some others' have, and yet it's still hard for me to go back so far.  I can think back, yes; I remember a time I nearly committed suicide in 4th grade (I was just...
    ThePlisken ThePlisken 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 27, 2013

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    For me, it is waves. Big waves,

    little waves- no discrimination in size, cause or timing. It can feel so random. Or it can feel as if it was triggered. It can last hours, days, weeks or months at a time. Similarly, it can stay away for hours, days, weeks or months at a time. I cannot remember the last time it...
    fromthegirlonthewall fromthegirlonthewall 22-25, F May 3

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    I have been going through depression

    since i was a child and past few years its gone a lot worse so i went to the doctors and he referred me to healthy minds but issue is I'm on a waiting list that's going to take weeks until there ready to see me so i have to cope with the depression for ages before they will help...
    ymasxatl ymasxatl 22-25, F Jun 6

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    Why Can't I Change These Feelings

    The first realization of depressive thoughts started when I entered my teens.  Rage and anger is all I can recall and did not know why.  As an adult, I know my mother suffered from depression.  And realize my daughter as a child also showed signs at a very...
    AnnieLynn AnnieLynn 51-55, F 4 Responses Jul 9, 2007

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    saraluvdom saraluvdom 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 15

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    "You're strong, and I admire you.

    " Words I want so desperately to be said to me.
    emiveritas emiveritas 18-21, F 11 Responses Feb 12

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    Awesome read and helpful tips!

    https://karabethb.wordpress.com/2015/06/17/getting-caught-up-in-the-storm/
    SupernovaxxGirl SupernovaxxGirl 26-30, F Jun 17

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    BreeezeBlocks BreeezeBlocks 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    I have and I believe

    that I won that battle a while back. Not quite fitting for this experience but I actually want to say out loud how much I love life: its quirks, its difficulties, all of it because I chose it. I hit the wall of depression at about 13, I 'emerged' at about 28. 'Emerged' is in...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses May 28, 2014

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    I have lived in the darkness all my life.

    At every train station I would get close and hear the tracks calling me. Upon every balcony the ground was the only thing of interest to me. Yet something remarkable has happened. I decided to be honest, to be true to myself and act bravely according to it. Now when I stand on...
    passion4writing passion4writing 22-25, M 2 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    I accidentally forgot my meds two days in a row.

    .. Im not feeling too good. I remember being told coming off of them could sometimes be worse than the original depression. But *******. My face is wet before I know Im crying, and that just makes me sob harder. I break my own heart by how sad I can become, by the lows Ive known...
    RebeccaJane00 RebeccaJane00 18-21, F Apr 27

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    As do a lot of these stories,

    mine starts with my father. He was an abusive drunk. He liked me more than my older sister but he didn't ever physically hurt her like he did to me. He called me his advocate. It was a huge burden. And when I couldn't defend him well enough I got blamed. He always had drunken...
    messj messj 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I pretty much had no reason to be alive

    as a kid. That's something I'm starting to work on now. Is that depression ?? I don't know.
    consistentshift consistentshift 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 12

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    I have made a decision to surround myself only

    with people who are not detrimental to my mental health right now. Too many people are having a negative effect on my right now. They may not mean it and I'm not throwing out accusations but I need space, lot's of it.
    Eggyegg Eggyegg 46-50, F 3 Responses Jul 6

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    She's to young </3 Not

    yet do the parents know that they will soon be the youngest grandparents on the block. Walking through the store, everyone stares but no one says a thing. The girl tries to conceal her secret from the world, but this eight months will not allow her that simple pleasure. She...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 25

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    Sometimes when I face the world I feel

    even more ****. People can be horrible. I'm too sensitive and it's my fault for letting myself be affected by the way people think and talk about me. Maybe they are right though and I'm just a **** person. I lack so much confidence and self esteem that it scares me and I'm not...
    Heyyo1 Heyyo1 18-21, F Jul 1

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    so depressed . I'm so tired to feeling this way.

    why can't it be happiness instead of sadness
    flowergirl1997 flowergirl1997 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 23

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    The Monarchs Whisper

    Hello, my name is Deep Williams and I am a filmmaker. About a year ago a story came to my mind when I was sitting quietly. 'Do a movie about suicide". I could not believe the overwhelming feeling I had after that encounter. I immediately began to write a screenplay and never...
    deepwilliams deepwilliams 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 14, 2011

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    every day feels like a battle I can't win.

    even on a good day I end up anxious or feeling like crying. every thing I love eventually becomes something I hate. my job, my school, my life and even at times those I love. I'm so lost...
    Thingsunseen Thingsunseen 22-25, F Jun 2

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    I go through phases where I feel

    so sad and out of place in the world. I have two friends I really care about but I think for the most part I am their "backup" friend. They only want to do stuff with me when they have nothing else to do. Even my sister doesn't care to hang out with me. I've been working in bars...
    Yousahoe Yousahoe 22-25, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I don't suffer from depression,

    but I met somebody on ep last year who does, and whose life has been dominated by it since early childhood. We conversed for around nine months, with ups and downs, as you would expect. At first, it was difficult to extract any information, but gradually we opened up to each...
    KitFornay KitFornay 51-55, M Apr 22

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    I hate my life. I can't get over all the bad

    mistakes I've made and I feel like I'm worthless and going nowhere.
    Paratrooper94 Paratrooper94 18-21, M 2 Responses May 4

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    I've been able to recover from a deep

    depression the lasted for several years. I had no hope, I tried lots of medication, but any seemed to work. I have come back to life again...
    estrella77 estrella77 36-40, F 1 Response May 31

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