I Have Battled Depression Since Childhood

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,702 People

    People don't understand how much work it is

    living with chronic mental illness. It is entirely different than going through a period of depression due to problems in your life (which still sucks.) But depression is a debilitating illness... To maintain my health I take medication, see a therapist regularly, and have to be...
    mothzi mothzi
    18-21, M
    1 Response Dec 19, 2015

    My depression has always been with me,

    unfortunately its been one of the few things that have never changed in my life. Sometimes its a bit muted so more tolerable, but never gone. I often wonder whats it like to not have this ominous presence in my life. More often then not I feel fine, as long as I can comfort...
    Emmy508 Emmy508
    31-35, F
    1 Response Aug 26, 2015

    I Admire All Of You.

    I can't understand how you all have the strength to talk about it. I haven't had an experience a quarter as bad as some others' have, and yet it's still hard for me to go back so far.  I can think back, yes; I remember a time I nearly committed suicide in 4th grade (I was just...
    ThePlisken ThePlisken
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Apr 27, 2013

    What! You mean it's

    as easy as thinking positive thoughts ... Gee, l never knew. .that's where I've been going wrong! I'm getting rather tired of the assumptions that postive thinking is a cure for depression. Of course, it helps those of certain mindset but for those of us who think deeper and...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses Jul 26, 2015

    I have and I believe

    that I won that battle a while back. Not quite fitting for this experience but I actually want to say out loud how much I love life: its quirks, its difficulties, all of it because I chose it. I hit the wall of depression at about 13, I 'emerged' at about 28. 'Emerged' is in...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses May 28, 2014

    The Monarchs Whisper

    Hello, my name is Deep Williams and I am a filmmaker. About a year ago a story came to my mind when I was sitting quietly. 'Do a movie about suicide". I could not believe the overwhelming feeling I had after that encounter. I immediately began to write a screenplay and never...
    deepwilliams deepwilliams
    46-50, M
    1 Response Dec 14, 2011

    I'm not sure how I'll find a sense of

    self-worth. I'm a "fair weather friend" to myself. I don't support my own decisions. I don't believe myself. I doubt my intentions. I doubt my abilities. I doubt my worth. I doubt myself. There's hardly a moment I'm satisfied with where I am, hardly ever a sense of peace, of...
    ODSi ODSi
    18-21, M
    Jan 23

    Each and everyday I face a demon,

    a demon known as depression, each and every day it chisels away at me bit by bit, everyday I lose more hope, more strength to carry on, it sucks my energy drains my life force, each and everyday I die slowly more and more, but I know that I have to keep building myself up even...
    nathchalk97 nathchalk97
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Mar 13, 2015

    I remember at 3 years old moving into a new

    house and saying to my mother "when are we going home". I am now 40 i still want go home. I dont know were home is now. but i still want to go back there. That is when i was first diagnosed.
    Coolcat1974 Coolcat1974
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Nov 7, 2015

    So, this is the first post Im making on my

    account and I feel like it is something that should be said. Let's start off with my story. I have battled depression as long as I can remember. Though it was never truly addressed, medically or in a family related setting, one can know if he or she has depression. No I dont...
    longlost20 longlost20
    16-17, F
    Nov 29, 2015

    I have made a decision to surround myself only

    with people who are not detrimental to my mental health right now. Too many people are having a negative effect on my right now. They may not mean it and I'm not throwing out accusations but I need space, lot's of it.
    Eggyegg Eggyegg
    46-50, F
    4 Responses Jul 6, 2015

    Each night, the suicidal thoughts get worse.

    Today is bad. I don't think I'd act on the suicidal thoughts, but it's getting scary and too much to handle. The thoughts of self harming and medicating and suicide are starting to become a huge burden. I'm leaning closer and closer to getting help but I just don't know. I know...
    cconstellations cconstellations
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 15

    I have lived in the darkness all my life.

    At every train station I would get close and hear the tracks calling me. Upon every balcony the ground was the only thing of interest to me. Yet something remarkable has happened. I decided to be honest, to be true to myself and act bravely according to it. Now when I stand on...
    passion4writing passion4writing
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Dec 21, 2013

    After a year being off of medications,

    I think it's time to go back. I'm experiencing anger, feeling isolated, sadness, lack of motivation, and I want to sleep all day on the weekends. It's a challenge to get dressed and go out on the weekends just to run errands. I've tired Celexa, Prozac, and Prozac with...
    doniest doniest
    26-30, F
    Mar 10

    I have always been depressed sence I could

    remember I always act ok and never let on how I truly feel I don't take meds for it though I probably should but I just find the fact that given my personality I might abuse the meds so I don't take any
    Toyx Toyx
    22-25, F
    1 Response Aug 27, 2014

    When I was four years old,

    I developed depression issues due to the fact that I was treated like my life meant nothing and because I was physically abused. Then, when I was 11, I lost my maternal grandmother, which then cause my mother to plummet into a major depression; she has tried to commit suicide at...
    TheKatAttack TheKatAttack
    13-15, F
    1 Response Apr 19, 2015

    Stopped my meds awhile back,

    n now depressions back! I'm soo tired all the time
    theresajanelle theresajanelle
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 22

    I felt neutral today,

    not excited or down, just sort of middle of the road, knowing my mood could take off in any direction. I knew IT was lurking in the background, as it always is, waiting, for the "right" moment to pounce. Me. '.. l know your there. .. waiting... We need to talk! ' IT...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jul 28, 2015

    I still am. I hate myself.

    I don't want this life anymore. Everyone thinks that I have gotten better, I haven't, I just have gotten better at hiding it. Nobody cares about me, i mean why would they? Look at me I am just a stupid, ugly, worthless 12 year old looking for a way out. It's funny the only...
    Vivian54321 Vivian54321
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Oct 4, 2015

    I have struggled with major depression,

    as a direct result of complex high betrayal trauma, ever since I was a little girl. From the time I was 7 years old until the time I was 9 years old, I endured one traumatic occurrence after another in my family of origin. I have pretty much never been the same ever since. The...
    Aimee17 Aimee17
    41-45, F
    21 Responses Nov 18, 2014

    Death was never really explained to be

    that perfect when I was really young.. I guess after seeing somebody that means the world to you..suddenly passes away..or is"called home easily" I never ever understood what that ment..my first really experience with death was when I was about 5 years old..my 14 year old cus...
    MyraTomPhil MyraTomPhil
    26-30, F
    1 Response Sep 21, 2015

    I was depressed before I knew what depression

    was. It started at such a young age, but with my family I'm surprised it didn't come sooner. I was 9 when I wanted to die- though back then I didn't even know what death was. All I knew was that I wanted to "sleep forever and never wake up". And now here I am, 10 years later...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Oct 12, 2015

    My battle with depression has been a major

    focus most of my life. Once you are able to learn what triggers the most severe symptoms you can at least get through the day. The unfortunate thing is that others are most likely in control of those triggers. My wife has been the worst to send me into the despair and pain for...
    Nazareth2000 Nazareth2000
    51-55, M
    1 Response Aug 5, 2015

    When I was seven I first came down with a

    period of inexplicable sadness. I couldn't play; I would sit around all day crying and brooding. At night I would become afraid and unable to sleep. Since then, I have battled depression off and on like a severe migraine headache.
    depressedrecluse777 depressedrecluse777
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Nov 7, 2015

    Imagine yourself in the ocean,

    slowly drowning. The deeper you fall, the harder it is to breath. You want to escape, but you feel your mind stopping you. You want to be free, but fate has another plan for you. You feel your body hit the bottom, and instantly you run out of breath. Suddenly your just...
    amylouexoh amylouexoh
    18-21, F
    Sep 21, 2015

    Just gonna cry myself to sleep tonight then

    deal with school tomorrow sounds like a plan...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Sep 7, 2015

    It's an ongoing thing.

    Today has been one of my good days. . So, l decided to try and think logically, about it all.. True..whatever the source is that's causing the depression shouldn't matter today, in this moment in time. All that is in the past... distant past. And although it does bother me a...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    8 Responses Jul 28, 2015

    I've uploaded a new video on my channel

    and I would like it if people watched it because it might help those who are struggling and I want it to each the people it needs to reach so if you like this video then give it a thumbs up, comment on it and share and don't forget to subscribe :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
    TheMadHatteri TheMadHatteri
    18-21, M
    Aug 3, 2015

    My life hasn't been all

    that happy since my parents divorced when I was 5. I am now 16 and I still feel like the divorce was my fault. and now my father has recently divorced my step mom, my life is pretty ****** now. my mom gets drunk every night now on liquor cuz of her marriage with my step-dad. and...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Sep 7, 2015

    Since i was like 4, i can remember only

    that far back, ive been to therapist since i was like 13 n i used to go at school in elemantry, been on meds since like 14, tryna get off of them
    theresajanelle theresajanelle
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 15, 2015
    aliadele aliadele
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 8, 2015

    ?ady grey tea it works drink every time you

    feel bad or down or thinking in your head when you do so keep busy and do diffrent thing and concerntrate on that rather than thoughts do this daily in 2 weeks youll thank me ots how i over came mine
    Jbj1 Jbj1
    31-35, F
    Aug 6, 2015

    Ever since I was 13, I've battled depression.

    It's really hit me hard over these years. Especially, now.. I'm so lost. Confused, really. I just don't know what to do or say or think. When people ask me what's wrong now, I just don't feel like wasting my breath anymore. What's the point? It's not like talking will make the...
    Nevershoutkourtnii Nevershoutkourtnii
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 23, 2014

    Planned My Death, I Was So Depresseed

    I cant say for sure when I actually became 'depressed'. I know I spent most of my adolescence contemplating ending my life. I remember aquiring knives from the kitchen and scratching my wrists, wishing I could actually do it. I would be sat alone in my bedroom. For hours. just...
    taffytats taffytats
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Nov 8, 2010

    My name is Jamie. I currently suffer from

    untreated bipolar disorder, depression, addiction. I am in college and I am going for an OT (occupational therapy) degree. If I make it, I'll be getting my doctorate in that field. However, I have been struggling with mental illness for years now. Over the last year, I thought...
    cconstellations cconstellations
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Feb 14

    so depressed . I'm so tired to feeling this way.

    why can't it be happiness instead of sadness
    flowergirl1997 flowergirl1997
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jun 23, 2015

    I was molested, abused,

    bullied, betrayed etc. I didn't always believe in GOD. I used to blame him for everything wrong. Why are you doing this to me? Why is this happening to me? Turns out GOD wasn't harming me. I never thanked for the good he's done, I just cursed his name when something bad happened...
    dashuria dashuria
    16-17, F
    5 Responses Nov 9, 2014

    I would say my depression sorta set in

    when my parents got divorced, it absolutely tore me apart. then I started middle school, and those were the worst 2 years of my life, I would cry myself to sleep many nights because of the bullying. finally last year as a high school freshman, I went to see the school counselor...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Aug 6, 2015

    I don't know how it started.

    I was in second grade and I became sensitive to teasing. It came out of nowhere. I had not been like this in the first grade. I had a teacher -- a Dominican nun -- who decided that the cure was to tease me more so that I developed a thicker skin. Of course, this only made...
    emperornorton47 emperornorton47
    56-60, M
    Jul 29, 2015

    I honestly don't know to feel right now.

    I've battled with depression nearly all my life. Even as a young child I excluded myself from others and kept very quiet. I was always so scared, I'd have nightmares, and trouble sleeping. Now things are far worse than that, but my depression only lasts about 2 weeks out of...
    alicefloe alicefloe
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Oct 2, 2014

    I pretty much had no reason to be alive

    as a kid. That's something I'm starting to work on now. Is that depression ?? I don't know.
    consistentshift consistentshift
    22-25, F
    6 Responses Feb 12, 2015

    I can't Tell you the conversation we had .

    But I think I just made a new friend ... And he's very sweet & caring person . I applaud you for that & I Thank you for listening to me .
    MonsterOfDevil MonsterOfDevil
    16-17, M
    2 Responses Jun 1, 2014

    As do a lot of these stories,

    mine starts with my father. He was an abusive drunk. He liked me more than my older sister but he didn't ever physically hurt her like he did to me. He called me his advocate. It was a huge burden. And when I couldn't defend him well enough I got blamed. He always had drunken...
    messj messj
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jul 29, 2015

    Insecurity I have a lot of insecurities ever

    since I was young. I hated being the big girl in class and I hated that my hair never was like the other girls in school. I had acne before everyone and it was a nightmare. Middle school, I lost lots of weight and then came high school. I was skinny when I started out then...
    xojenz xojenz
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Aug 5, 2015

    And just now, l feel I'm participating in life

    and doing what I'm supposed to be doing, but at the same time, l feel I'm detached. I can't muster up the enthusiasm for anything much. Everything seems like an effort. Today is yet another day to get through..to reach ..what? The end? Tonight l confided in my partner how l...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Jul 13, 2015

    i have honestly been suffering from depression

    and anxiety since i was 4. horrible i know. i grew up at 7, i was forced. i never got to be kid. i was discussing budgets and bills, accommodation etc since i was 10. i didn't get a childhood, didnt get happiness. but now i ahve more life experience than most, and i am...
    butterflykisses11 butterflykisses11
    16-17, F
    2 Responses May 6, 2015

    I've only very recently just realized I've been

    depressed my entire life. It's never gone away, and it never will. I can recall those times in my childhood, about third grade when I had my first suicidal thoughts. I was upset all the time because my parents are neglectful, and emotionally abusive and at the time I was dealing...
    CarnivalCannibal CarnivalCannibal
    18-21, T
    Jan 18

    I have never truly been happy

    as a person, but I'm getting better. I wish i my parents were home from their cruise. I love life, but I have struggled and still. I'm so scared that I will not be able to handle it and succumb to suicide as I have tried before. Be STRONG. Kali!
    kalicospito kalicospito
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Sep 12, 2015

    I have been dealing with depression

    for as long as I can remember. From before I even knew what to call it. I am thankful that my darker periods are less frequent and don’t last as long as they used to, but I have come to accept that I will be dealing with it for the rest of my life. It’ll always be a part...
    AnonymousEP77 AnonymousEP77
    41-45, M
    1 Response Apr 5, 2014

    I've had terrible depression

    for a long time.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Nov 30, 2015

    I remember being just barely able to hear my

    family doctor talk to my mom about starting me on antidepressants. I was 15. My mom still doesn't understand my depression. She has admitted, though, that if they had known "what I was as a child" (her words) that maybe I would be better than I am now.
    CharryICT CharryICT
    31-35, F
    Jan 9

    I haven't really been happy

    since my early teen years. I've never gotten professional help because I feel like no one will believe me. Over the last few months my anxiety and depression has gotten worse and school is useless. Maybe my parents will suspect something is wrong with me after I fail all of my...
    ndfan97 ndfan97
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Sep 21, 2015

    I'M Scared Of Going Back.

    I was once in a very dark place. Every time I felt alone I called it "The black hole" because whenever I looked up I saw the room getting swallowed in darkness. 1 year later and two months I'm a whole different person. Happy and smiling again, I even got a bf. But after that...
    Deepess Deepess
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 29, 2013

    I always feel like I'm walking around in a

    dream. This life is so much like a night mare and it's slowly smothering me.
    thugkaylee thugkaylee
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jun 8, 2014

    "You're strong, and I admire you.

    " Words I want so desperately to be said to me.
    emiveritas emiveritas
    22-25, F
    9 Responses Feb 12, 2015

    I spend most of my time sitting on the internet

    and not leaving my house, or attending parties people invite me to. Some days I can't even dress myself. I can't leave the house without someone coming with me, like I'd make it past the drive and turn around. I don't even like visiting my parents without someone coming with me...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Sep 7, 2014
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