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I Have Battled Depression Since Childhood

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,759 People

    Planned My Death, I Was So Depresseed

    I cant say for sure when I actually became 'depressed'. I know I spent most of my adolescence contemplating ending my life. I remember aquiring knives from the kitchen and scratching my wrists, wishing I could actually do it. I would be sat alone in my bedroom. For hours. just...
    taffytats taffytats 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 8, 2010

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    So, this is the first post Im making on my

    account and I feel like it is something that should be said. Let's start off with my story. I have battled depression as long as I can remember. Though it was never truly addressed, medically or in a family related setting, one can know if he or she has depression. No I dont...
    longlost20 longlost20 16-17, F Nov 29, 2015

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    I wish I would have been diagnosed

    as a child. It was suggested to me but I didn't want to listen or believe it. I had such a struggle concentrating and caring about anything. I was at the doctor many times for physical ailments that could not be explained or treated. Everyone thought I was just lazy, bad or...
    455cargirl 455cargirl 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 1, 2015

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    aliadele aliadele 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 8, 2015

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    I've only very recently just realized I've been

    depressed my entire life. It's never gone away, and it never will. I can recall those times in my childhood, about third grade when I had my first suicidal thoughts. I was upset all the time because my parents are neglectful, and emotionally abusive and at the time I was dealing...
    CarnivalCannibal CarnivalCannibal 18-21, T 1 Response Jan 18

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    I spend most of my time sitting on the internet

    and not leaving my house, or attending parties people invite me to. Some days I can't even dress myself. I can't leave the house without someone coming with me, like I'd make it past the drive and turn around. I don't even like visiting my parents without someone coming with me...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 7, 2014

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    I've had terrible depression

    for a long time.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 30, 2015

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    Since i was like 4, i can remember only

    that far back, ive been to therapist since i was like 13 n i used to go at school in elemantry, been on meds since like 14, tryna get off of them
    theresajanelle theresajanelle 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 15, 2015

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    Each and everyday I face a demon,

    a demon known as depression, each and every day it chisels away at me bit by bit, everyday I lose more hope, more strength to carry on, it sucks my energy drains my life force, each and everyday I die slowly more and more, but I know that I have to keep building myself up even...
    nathchalk97 nathchalk97 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 13, 2015

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    Saw things. And got called wrong But bill

    maher proves me right. https://youtu.be/Q-Ls31RiooQ
    JustBipolarMe JustBipolarMe 46-50, M Sep 28, 2015

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    When I was seven I first came down with a

    period of inexplicable sadness. I couldn't play; I would sit around all day crying and brooding. At night I would become afraid and unable to sleep. Since then, I have battled depression off and on like a severe migraine headache.
    depressedrecluse777 depressedrecluse777 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 7, 2015

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    I always feel like I'm walking around in a

    dream. This life is so much like a night mare and it's slowly smothering me.
    thugkaylee thugkaylee 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 8, 2014

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    I'M Scared Of Going Back.

    I was once in a very dark place. Every time I felt alone I called it "The black hole" because whenever I looked up I saw the room getting swallowed in darkness. 1 year later and two months I'm a whole different person. Happy and smiling again, I even got a bf. But after that...
    Deepess Deepess 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 29, 2013

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    Being diagnosed with depression really suck on

    days like this. When you sit in the bed wondering how life would be like if you didn't mess up, if you had that one person who would help you through thick and thin, and if you didn't make poor decisions. I don't tell my mom or anyone this but it's hard for me to sleep at night...
    ILoveBacon23 ILoveBacon23 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 19

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    Shocking But true. Headed

    for shower. Saw my aged body. So old. So saggy. Never wanted 21. But am 48.
    JustBipolarMe JustBipolarMe 46-50, M Sep 27, 2015

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    It's an ongoing thing.

    Today has been one of my good days. . So, l decided to try and think logically, about it all.. True..whatever the source is that's causing the depression shouldn't matter today, in this moment in time. All that is in the past... distant past. And although it does bother me a...
    MistyGoddess MistyGoddess 46-50, F 10 Responses Jul 28, 2015

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    I still am. I hate myself.

    I don't want this life anymore. Everyone thinks that I have gotten better, I haven't, I just have gotten better at hiding it. Nobody cares about me, i mean why would they? Look at me I am just a stupid, ugly, worthless 12 year old looking for a way out. It's funny the only...
    Vivian54321 Vivian54321 13-15, F 3 Responses Oct 4, 2015

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    I felt neutral today,

    not excited or down, just sort of middle of the road, knowing my mood could take off in any direction. I knew IT was lurking in the background, as it always is, waiting, for the "right" moment to pounce. Me. '.. l know your there. .. waiting... We need to talk! ' IT...
    MistyGoddess MistyGoddess 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 28, 2015

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    People don't understand how much work it is

    living with chronic mental illness. It is entirely different than going through a period of depression due to problems in your life (which still sucks.) But depression is a debilitating illness... To maintain my health I take medication, see a therapist regularly, and have to be...
    mothzi mothzi 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 19, 2015

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    The Monarchs Whisper

    Hello, my name is Deep Williams and I am a filmmaker. About a year ago a story came to my mind when I was sitting quietly. 'Do a movie about suicide". I could not believe the overwhelming feeling I had after that encounter. I immediately began to write a screenplay and never...
    deepwilliams deepwilliams 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 14, 2011

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    "You're strong, and I admire you.

    " Words I want so desperately to be said to me.
    emiveritas emiveritas 22-25, F 11 Responses Feb 12, 2015

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    Just gonna cry myself to sleep tonight then

    deal with school tomorrow sounds like a plan...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Sep 7, 2015

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    I was depressed before I knew what depression

    was. It started at such a young age, but with my family I'm surprised it didn't come sooner. I was 9 when I wanted to die- though back then I didn't even know what death was. All I knew was that I wanted to "sleep forever and never wake up". And now here I am, 10 years later...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 12, 2015

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    I have been dealing with depression

    for as long as I can remember. From before I even knew what to call it. I am thankful that my darker periods are less frequent and don’t last as long as they used to, but I have come to accept that I will be dealing with it for the rest of my life. It’ll always be a part...
    AnonymousEP77 AnonymousEP77 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 5, 2014

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    I can't Tell you the conversation we had .

    But I think I just made a new friend ... And he's very sweet & caring person . I applaud you for that & I Thank you for listening to me .
    MonsterOfDevil MonsterOfDevil 16-17, M 2 Responses Jun 1, 2014

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    I don't know how it started.

    I was in second grade and I became sensitive to teasing. It came out of nowhere. I had not been like this in the first grade. I had a teacher -- a Dominican nun -- who decided that the cure was to tease me more so that I developed a thicker skin. Of course, this only made...
    emperornorton47 emperornorton47 56-60, M Jul 29, 2015

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    so depressed . I'm so tired to feeling this way.

    why can't it be happiness instead of sadness
    flowergirl1997 flowergirl1997 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 23, 2015

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    I don't know how to be happy,

    I try so hard. But not many things in my life are worth it, I have stress, anxiety and depression. So I eat, a lot. The only reason I'm not any fatter than 2014 is because I have bulimia, I take laxatives, everyday sometimes twice if I get really piggish. But I don't lose any...
    SadlySafe SadlySafe 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 12

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    I'm not sure how I'll find a sense of

    self-worth. I'm a "fair weather friend" to myself. I don't support my own decisions. I don't believe myself. I doubt my intentions. I doubt my abilities. I doubt my worth. I doubt myself. There's hardly a moment I'm satisfied with where I am, hardly ever a sense of peace, of...
    ODSi ODSi 18-21, M Jan 23

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    My depression has always been with me,

    unfortunately its been one of the few things that have never changed in my life. Sometimes its a bit muted so more tolerable, but never gone. I often wonder whats it like to not have this ominous presence in my life. More often then not I feel fine, as long as I can comfort...
    Emmy508 Emmy508 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 26, 2015

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    I would say my depression sorta set in

    when my parents got divorced, it absolutely tore me apart. then I started middle school, and those were the worst 2 years of my life, I would cry myself to sleep many nights because of the bullying. finally last year as a high school freshman, I went to see the school counselor...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 6, 2015

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    I was molested, abused,

    bullied, betrayed etc. I didn't always believe in GOD. I used to blame him for everything wrong. Why are you doing this to me? Why is this happening to me? Turns out GOD wasn't harming me. I never thanked for the good he's done, I just cursed his name when something bad happened...
    dashuria dashuria 16-17, F 5 Responses Nov 9, 2014

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    I've uploaded a new video on my channel

    and I would like it if people watched it because it might help those who are struggling and I want it to each the people it needs to reach so if you like this video then give it a thumbs up, comment on it and share and don't forget to subscribe :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
    TheMadHatteri TheMadHatteri 18-21, M Aug 3, 2015

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    My life hasn't been all

    that happy since my parents divorced when I was 5. I am now 16 and I still feel like the divorce was my fault. and now my father has recently divorced my step mom, my life is pretty ****** now. my mom gets drunk every night now on liquor cuz of her marriage with my step-dad. and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 7, 2015

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    I honestly don't know to feel right now.

    I've battled with depression nearly all my life. Even as a young child I excluded myself from others and kept very quiet. I was always so scared, I'd have nightmares, and trouble sleeping. Now things are far worse than that, but my depression only lasts about 2 weeks out of...
    alicefloe alicefloe 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 2, 2014

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    i have honestly been suffering from depression

    and anxiety since i was 4. horrible i know. i grew up at 7, i was forced. i never got to be kid. i was discussing budgets and bills, accommodation etc since i was 10. i didn't get a childhood, didnt get happiness. but now i ahve more life experience than most, and i am...
    butterflykisses11 butterflykisses11 16-17, F 2 Responses May 6, 2015

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    I have made a decision to surround myself only

    with people who are not detrimental to my mental health right now. Too many people are having a negative effect on my right now. They may not mean it and I'm not throwing out accusations but I need space, lot's of it.
    Eggyegg Eggyegg 46-50, F 4 Responses Jul 6, 2015

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    ?ady grey tea it works drink every time you

    feel bad or down or thinking in your head when you do so keep busy and do diffrent thing and concerntrate on that rather than thoughts do this daily in 2 weeks youll thank me ots how i over came mine
    Jbj1 Jbj1 31-35, F Aug 6, 2015

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    My battle with depression has been a major

    focus most of my life. Once you are able to learn what triggers the most severe symptoms you can at least get through the day. The unfortunate thing is that others are most likely in control of those triggers. My wife has been the worst to send me into the despair and pain for...
    Nazareth2000 Nazareth2000 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 5, 2015

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    Stopped my meds awhile back,

    n now depressions back! I'm soo tired all the time
    theresajanelle theresajanelle 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 22

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    Insecurity I have a lot of insecurities ever

    since I was young. I hated being the big girl in class and I hated that my hair never was like the other girls in school. I had acne before everyone and it was a nightmare. Middle school, I lost lots of weight and then came high school. I was skinny when I started out then...
    xojenz xojenz 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 5, 2015

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    I have always been depressed sence I could

    remember I always act ok and never let on how I truly feel I don't take meds for it though I probably should but I just find the fact that given my personality I might abuse the meds so I don't take any
    Toyx Toyx 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 27, 2014

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    Ever since I was 13, I've battled depression.

    It's really hit me hard over these years. Especially, now.. I'm so lost. Confused, really. I just don't know what to do or say or think. When people ask me what's wrong now, I just don't feel like wasting my breath anymore. What's the point? It's not like talking will make the...
    Nevershoutkourtnii Nevershoutkourtnii 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 23, 2014

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    I haven't really been happy

    since my early teen years. I've never gotten professional help because I feel like no one will believe me. Over the last few months my anxiety and depression has gotten worse and school is useless. Maybe my parents will suspect something is wrong with me after I fail all of my...
    ndfan97 ndfan97 18-21, M 3 Responses Sep 21, 2015

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    I have and I believe

    that I won that battle a while back. Not quite fitting for this experience but I actually want to say out loud how much I love life: its quirks, its difficulties, all of it because I chose it. I hit the wall of depression at about 13, I 'emerged' at about 28. 'Emerged' is in...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses May 28, 2014

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