Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Have Bdd

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 439 People

    I know people tell me

    that there's something wrong with me, that my appearance is fine, but I can't argue with what I see in the mirror, I don't see how people don't see what I see because it's right there! Maybe it's just different definitions of 'fat' or 'big' but even so the fact is I'm not happy...
    princessfenty princessfenty 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I see myself in the mirror

    and i wish i could take a knife and cut every inch of fat of my body and all the skin off of my face. Im so hideous. I dont want to go out, i dont want to go to school, i dont want people to see me. Im the ugliest person alive.
    mialotta mialotta 16-17, F 4 Responses Nov 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am a 17 year old girl,

    and i suffer from severe BDD. It all started with my nose. One day i looked in the mirror( i was 13) and i just had a moment of self realisation and disgust. How could I have been walking around with this disgusting nose?! I was so horrified, my nose looks big, hooked, very...
    Ririfan Ririfan 16-17, F 23 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have had since I was in my early teens.

    It's not something that is widely accepted or easy to talk about. People make their own minds up about your vanity, self obsession whatever. When I was a kid I would spend hours trying to look different in the mirror before getting hysterical and refusing to leave my room...
    GalateaSpheres GalateaSpheres 36-40, F 6 Responses Aug 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I spent half my day in the mirror.

    Make videos of myself because I don't think what I'm seeing in the mirror is right. Spent time putting makeup on and then taking it off because I look uglier. My eyes and skin get so irritated) cut, sleep, mirror, cut, sleep, mirror. It never seems to end I just wanna go to...
    Zezebabe Zezebabe 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have bdd and would like to talk to others

    who share the same experience.
    pixielite pixielite 51-55, F 3 Responses Dec 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    BDD is horrible, I have had it the majority of

    my life and i just do not understand why I have it. I am 33, married( to a very pretty woman and 3 beautiful kids). I am now on citalophram 20mg. The meds seem to help a little, but how they help just isnt enough for me. The meds just helps me not to think about the ugliness I...
    bddsufferer33 bddsufferer33 31-35 3 Responses Jan 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I discovered earlier today

    that I have bdd, specifically muscle dysmorphia. I had always assumed it was natural to never be happy with your body. To always be chasing something out of your reach. I figured it was part of being human. Y'know, that there's always a bigger fish in the sea, so even though you...
    Strass Strass 18-21, M Mar 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My issues with my body are my deepest

    and most painful secret. I have struggled with this for most of my adult life. I am fortunate to have gotten myself to a place where I want to share what I go through with the people closest to me, yet I feel an incredible amount of fear and shame over it. I feel as if no one...
    ohjoyousone ohjoyousone 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Don't Believe That I'm Beautiful Even Though I've Been Told That I Am.

    When people tell me that I'm attractive, I always assume that they are lying. It's just how my mind works. Most of the time, I hate hearing people compliment my appearance because of this. I would rather have people be honest with me rather than tip-toeing around the truth or...
    slightlynerdy slightlynerdy 22-25, F 23 Responses Feb 13, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm new to this lols

    but I just wanted to share a really terrible experience with a doctor today. Basically I've had bdd Since I was around 12 and it's quite severe as I've had to leave school and am unable to work as most days I am housebound. So I have a sore throat so I went to the doctors which...
    rebeccah26 rebeccah26 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Hate It

    I get so upset after eating a big meal because I automatically think that I've gained 5lbs since ingesting my food. I know that's just crazy, but that's how my mind works. I always have to weigh myself when I wake up in the morning to see if I've gained any weight, and if I've...
    Illyria02 Illyria02 22-25, F 4 Responses Feb 16, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hi, my name is Karen.

    I have never told anyone my experiences. I have always held my emotions inside of me but now I think it is time that I tell my story. I am 16. I am a junior in high school. I have had BDD since I was a freshman. I have never been the prettiest of girls. I was always...
    healtyfood2020 healtyfood2020 18-21, F Apr 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There's A Monster In The Mirror..

    I call body dysmorphia a monster. My monster. Its like this big dark cloud hanging over me when others have the sunshine.First, in the early days, its at the back of your mind. Then as time goes on, it creeps closer and closer until its right behind you. It digs deeper and more...
    rachlove23 rachlove23 22-25, F 1 Response May 10, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Help .

    Im 13 years old and i have BDD. Most days are better than other but today is just a really bad day. It picture day and everything as fine until i started getting dressed. I picked out the outfit last night, and i put it on this morning and i didnt like it. So like always i tryed...
    legohouseedsheeran legohouseedsheeran 13-15 1 Response Sep 13, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate BDD. I hate it.

    I can never even look at myself without crying at what I see. I have to look down every time I wash my hands in the bathroom so I won't have to see myself in the mirror. Everyone thinks I'm vain but I'm not. Vain people love themselves. I don't. It's awful.
    saddeena saddeena 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Does anyone else ever wonder how someone can

    look at one of their flaws and not think any worse of themselves for it? Because I do. A lot. And I don't get it. Here I am obsessing over the amount of fat on my stomach, going through fits of depression, anger, fear, and self-consciousness, but at the same time, there are...
    Strass Strass 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Think I Have Bdd But I am Not Sure

       I have a bitter story to tell. It haunts me day and night. It controls me. It manipulates me. It has beaten me into submission. I suspect I have BDD, but I am not totally convinced. My story will explain my suspicion.      I am unlike almost...
    RNPAIN RNPAIN 66-70, M 13 Responses Apr 13, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    To be honest, I never been diagnosed,

    but I have a very sour idea of what I think I look like. I honestly see myself as the ugliest person. Someone could carry the same features as me, and I would call them beautiful, but not myself. I find compliments uncomfortable, and if someone looks at me for too long or smiles...
    DevilDollie DevilDollie 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Don't Wait So Long

    Although I've always known what BDD was, and have always been painfully aware of my own symptoms, I've never actually put the two together and realized that I have BDD until right now.  I remember crying in nursery school because people were looking at me.  And it wasn't...
    njbean njbean 31-35 10 Responses Aug 16, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hello, I think i have BDD

    and I do not know how to tell anyone. Not even my parents. I worry about my apperance constantly and hate the way i look. Alot about my bad skin and the amount of hair on my body. I pick at my skin and pull my hair out. I always think that when people look at me they think...
    HeIsDead HeIsDead 13-15, F 2 Responses May 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    21 Years...

    I have been dealing with BDD for the past 21 years. It all started when I was 10. I would compare myself to other girls at school, and I didn't think I looked like them. Somehow I was different. It also doesn't help that I have a younger sister who is very pretty and very...
    Jennifer136 Jennifer136 31-35, F 3 Responses May 9, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Have Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

    I've had bdd for a few years now, but I didn't know until about a year ago. This year has been the hardest of my life, and also the scariest. I've never felt so alone, anxious and disgusting. I haven't been diagnosed, but I just know. I looked it up late one night after I had...
    deleted deleted 26-30 13 Responses Mar 7, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have recently been diagnosed with BDD.

    Quite frankly, it is ruining my life. I spend 90% of my time comparing myself to others and berating myself for not being as slim or "normal looking" as them. It is a horrible feeling to look back at photos of myself and see myself as thin as I was, and still know that in my...
    wriggling2 wriggling2 22-25, F Oct 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

    This condition is a curse. It is, from what i have heard and read one of worst conditions someone can have. I always wondered why i always felt so weird and when i looked at myself in the mirror things only got stranger in terms of looks. Alright i was young and my body was, and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 22, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic

    Disorder for over 3 years now and it sucks. I can feel myself slowly improving, but I always have ups and downs which need fixing. It's awful having no idea what people see when they look at me, it makes me feel like I don't know who I am. It makes me feel like I'm in a body I...
    meganbxiley meganbxiley 16-17, F Jul 16, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hi, I would like to talk to others about their

    experiences of BDD. I have been told for years by numerous people that they think I have it. I do go through phases of obsessing over certain body parts i.e., nose, ears, whether one thigh is bigger than the other. Recently I am starting to feel like my body is twisting. It...
    newbiealibi newbiealibi 41-45, F May 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hey there. This is my first post to any group

    on this site. I'm 17 and suffer from severe BDD and an eating disorder. Currently homeschooled due to the anxiety associated with my body dysmorphia. Wondering if anyone out there can relate?
    tangerines97 tangerines97 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Hate Having Bdd

    Well, I have suffered from BDD for about 15 years, and it's taken a serious toll on the quality of my life!  The major flaw that I'm concerned with is my skin.  I was very out-going when I was a teenager, and only had what would be considered "normal" acne for...
    sdnova sdnova 31-35, M 7 Responses Dec 7, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Walking in an airport with bdd feels like

    everyone is staring at you because you look like a monster. Look at that freak. That poor girl. Sigh
    Iriegirlpj Iriegirlpj 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Don't you just hate it

    when nobody understands you... I tell my mom about my problem and tell her to take me to a physiologist and she just ignores it, knowing that the reason why I'm failing in school is because of that...she really thinks that i can control my mind. I feel so freaking alone right...
    marylight098 marylight098 13-15, F 3 Responses Feb 25, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Feel So Alone, I Look So Deformed In The Camera But Not The Mirror

    I recently just back from a residential treatment center in Utah for my depression and BDD. I tried to kill myself 4 months ago because I thought I was so ugly. It's very difficult, there are days when I just am like "I don't have BDD. Obviously what I am seeing is real. !" I see...
    Snackson Snackson 16-17, M 7 Responses Dec 17, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I can't look in the mirror without the urge to

    rip my face off. I just wan't to hide forever. Why did this happen to me?
    lintunen lintunen 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate having to explain bdd (body dysmorphic

    disorder) to my friends as you can't really understand what it is unless you have it. Just having to say 'I hate my appearance' or 'I see myself differently to how others see me' sounds silly. And the usual reply I get after I explain is 'I hate how I look too so I probably have...
    SilkyDoughnut SilkyDoughnut 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 5, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i have recently lost 72 lbs.

    .. i went from 205 lbs to 133... great right? i am 5'6" i should be happy with how i look. but i am not. i stress almost every second of the day about where i stand calories in vs calories out... i look in the mirror and see these monster thighs that i can feel jiggle every step...
    schaeffermichelle schaeffermichelle 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Think I Am Suffering From Bdd

    I am pretty young, 17, and I just came across a video on youtube about BDD. I realized that i acted just as those with it also: constantly checking the mirror, spending hours on my appearance to not be satisfied in the end, comparing myself with others, and constantly wondering...
    smw321 smw321 16-17, F Jul 25, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    21 male, just finished University.

    Always been a self conscious person, looked extremely young until about 16 and still look younger than my age. Always had this obsession with my face and hair and constantly have to touch and look in any reflection, which I know is an odd thing to do. People think it's vanity...
    hewitt101 hewitt101 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've always been a quiet not

    so secure person since my earliest memories I first discovered my body dysmorphic disorder in 9th grade (3 years ago) I just couldn't go to school my body was telling me no but I didn't know why yet after a few weeks of being house bound I saw true life: I hate my face on MTV...
    highheelsandtattoos highheelsandtattoos 18-21, F Feb 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dealing With Imperfections...Horribly

    I am a  caucasion  23 year old female, I wieght 107lbs and am 5'3. I have BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) and I can usually control it. I used to cut my hair all the time whenever I started to feel stressed and imperfect but in the past couple of years I moved onto my...
    singinbeauty singinbeauty 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 16, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A couple of nights ago,

    I woke up from a deep sleep and had a weird epiphany about myself. I've always really enjoyed taking and being in pictures, but as of late, I've really pushed the importance of this on my husband, family, and friends when we're at social gatherings or just hanging around...
    ohjoyousone ohjoyousone 31-35, F Jul 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate always feeling ugly

    and fat. I keep trying to see myself as beautiful, but I just cant. I feel like no one could ever love me or even find me attractive at all. I feel like if I knew at least one person thought I was pretty, I would feel better. But no one does. All through school, I always hear...
    jezebelmm jezebelmm 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am 21 years old and suffer with BDD.

    It has become worse over the past year. I just can't look into the mirror anymore without being disgusted. Its as if a deformed creature is looking back at me. I feel manly and less of a woman. I get complimented almost every time I go out and told I'm beautiful by strangers all...
    malissamalu malissamalu 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 5, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Likely Have Bdd.

    My friends often tell me that I am too self-conscious of my appearance, and I would in return, deny it. I don't want to be regarded as self-conscious and with low self-esteem/low confidence, but I suffer from obsessing about my facial and body features. And the ironic thing is, I...
    kloygyn kloygyn 18-21 2 Responses May 26, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate Body Dysmorphia.

    .. If I see my reflection my heart beat races and I get really nervous. My family always asks,"Why don't you like being on camera?" Well, this is why. God I'm so ugly . I hate myself
    tm0801 tm0801 16-17, M 1 Response Dec 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Too Ugly For Bdd

    There is very little i am content with about my body so it's difficult to say what i am most discontented with. It's the disproportion of one part of me in relation to another that bothers me the most. The configuration of  me. I will try to explain. -my head/skull? is...
    welham88 welham88 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Since my last post i forgot to add

    that the wierd thing is people say that my nose is very small when i ask them, and some even say that they want my nose? This makes me confused as i don't even know what i look like anymore. I have never been bullied so i don't know where this came from. My BDD has made me have...
    Ririfan Ririfan 16-17, F 23 hrs ago