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I Have Been In An Abusive Relationship

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 11,495 People

    I was in an abusive relationship.

    I was afraid all the time. While pregnant. They say to just leave. But leaving is not easy. When I did leave, I was scared. I'm still afraid of him. Even though I'm in a new and better relationship, with someone that shows me what real love truly is, I'm afraid to make a move...
    Singlemother78 Singlemother78 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 1

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    The assault on a female case has been continued

    once again. It happened June 3. I'm so tired of this. It's draining energy I don't have to spare! Because every time court date draws near, exH panics and annoys the sh*t out of me. I have an order of protection. I have been slack about enforcing it. But I'm going to be a...
    NCheartinNY NCheartinNY 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 3

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    Insecurities

      i have not been in a physically abusive relationship, but it was a very mentally abusive relationship.. the scars were deep in my mind and heart.. i was with a girl and for the first 6 months we had the best time.. i love to laugh and make jokes and tell funny stories of...
    breastlover81 breastlover81 26-30, M 23 Responses Nov 9, 2012

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    Take a Look At My Girlfriend...

    I was 15, she was 17. You don't hear about abuse in gay relationships much, but there you are. I had never been with a girl before, and I was so in love and so sure I could never feel the same way again with anyone else. I stayed two years. I will never be the same person. I...
    ParselyTree ParselyTree 16-18, F 4 Responses Feb 20, 2008

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    My ex used to yell at me

    and accuse me of infidelity. I really was faithful to the jerk. Then he started to hit me one day. I called the police. That is when he left me. That night I found a new guy and started sleeping around (a lot), by weeks end I had slept with four guys, Then the breakup of...
    BarbarBabcox BarbarBabcox 36-40, F 10 Responses Sep 24

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    My husband knows how much I love him.

    My love is unconditional. And yet every single weekend he tells me he's done with me and he wants a divorce. I don't understand how someone can hurt the one they love so much. I am constantly improving myself for him and being a loving wife. What am I doing wrong?
    sfm21 sfm21 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 1

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    I've Been In Two Abusive Relationships.

    You would think I would learn from the 1st abusive relationship, but it really was a different situation the 2ND time. When I was 18yrs I became pregnant and chose to marry.  At that time we were both clean & sober.  On the night my child was born my...
    WarriorMom WarriorMom 51-55, F 21 Responses Dec 7, 2008

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    I'm still with my abuser.

    Some of the things he's done to me caused me to have nightmares. I love him dearly and even though I know he is poisonous to my life I can't leave. Iv given him everything a person can give to another I'm currently pregnant with his first child. He still treats me like...
    Stiggyb Stiggyb 26-30, F 10 Responses Jul 20

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    I really don't want to talk too much about it

    but I married a controlling psychopath. He changed as soon as we were married and went on a spiral of abuse and menial torture. He was a drunk and would vanish for a day returning to take out his anger o me. I was raped, humiliated, degraded and beaten. The cycle of abuse...
    deleted deleted 26-30 11 Responses Jul 10

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    iv been in abusive relationship

    and It took me awhile to leave it .I carried that persom into my relationship ship now.It has ruined the relationship between me and my boyfriend and I keep it alive.The relationship now I would say is emotional abuse. My bf manipulates me knowing my weeknesses, he gets mad when...
    theobserver5 theobserver5 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 11

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    I Have Been In Several Abusive Relationships.

    I came from an abusive family so when I became an adult I didn't know any different. I have been in abusive relationships or marriages over the past years. I want to tell a story about one abusive marriage I was in: I was pretty much to the point were I couldn't take it anymore...
    butterfly628 butterfly628 51-55, F 3 Responses Feb 12, 2011

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    just a little over a year ago I was goning out

    with a kid I grew up with it was going really well I felt like he was the one then he started doing herion and got abusive so when he went to jail for violating probation I took the opportunity to get away from him and now im with a wonderful guy
    godsgift1993 godsgift1993 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 2

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    I have read some stories on here under this

    experience. I tend to find that 100% of them are pretty much the same, the only difference is it's two different people. I was once myself in an abusive relationship, lasted for 2 years until I decided enough was enough. It was finally having a friend that respected me that...
    Gemz2411 Gemz2411 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 13

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    My husband is a bully.

    The worst bully I've ever had. It's gotten so bad that he has pushed me to attack him twice,which makes me the abuser.....he loves it. I hate myself,i hate him and I'm so scared that I'll never have anything diferant.
    HearMeRoarrr HearMeRoarrr 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 12

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    I am a man that has been in an abusive

    relationship. My ex girlfriend was, in many ways, not a nice person. For whatever reason, I have always been a little timid, non-confrontational, however you like to describe it. She was verbally abusive, emotionally manipulative, generally unstable and even sometimes physically...
    MisterE12 MisterE12 22-25, M 1 Response Oct 17

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    I've been in an abusive relationship.

    I hate it when guys even want hugs because of it...I guess I'm scared of almost all men :(
    randicandi456 randicandi456 16-17, F 6 Responses Oct 26

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    Everyone kept telling me

    that I was so lucky to be with such a lovely guy and that he was so gentle and so nice. "Wow you're so lucky your first boyfriend is so nice" . I don't know why I didn't say it sooner . That he wasn't all he appeared to be. My whole family loved him. I know it's been over for...
    xosecretidentityxo xosecretidentityxo 16-17, F 5 Responses Aug 5

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    I date women. Mom was a single mother.

    She dated, a lot. Has childhood matters of her own. I never grew up around a man that didnt drink, scream, hit, beat, do drugs, and im certain my bisexuality is a result of it. BUT women can be abusive too!! She is recently divorced, was a housewife who suffers from Anger, ADD...
    ScaredButterfly75 ScaredButterfly75 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 14

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    Well this could fit under several experiences.

    How can he be so clueless as to why I'm in a crappy mood?!?! For years I hid when I was really upset and saddened by this loveless, lonely, and mentally abusive marriage. But all he asks is if I feel good or am I sick. I guess I should have no other reason to be so visible...
    Wantfreedom67 Wantfreedom67 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 23

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    Why are men like it? You sleep with them

    and they think they own you! What was more, he was older than me, by ten years! I'm sure a seventeen years old woman is more mature then some, maybe most, twenty seven years old men!
    Paca24 Paca24 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 7

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    I met my ex-husband at the age of 17.

    I never saw the red flags, mainly because I endured abuse growing up. I thought it was pretty normal when he got jealous of my friends, mad when he thought I did something wrong, and even ok when he broke things around the house. But with time, like every abusive relationship...
    lexy82 lexy82 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 30

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    I just went through the divorce.

    It was awful. The judge did see past the lies I think. It was just so hard to hear people that I used to think were my friends his family standing up there beside him, and having no one standing beside me. I did have pictures of the physical abuse up until he had found out and...
    Cheetah2210 Cheetah2210 26-30, F 10 Responses Nov 14

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    Hello, I am a 21 year old girl

    who can proudly say that one year and 7 days ago I made the decisions to finally be strong and leave my abusive boyfriend. This is not the easiest thing for me to do, I have never really opened up to anyone about it because I thought once it was done and he was cut out of my...
    brittany122 brittany122 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 6

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    I just typed up my whole experience

    and it got removed for not being appropriate. Don't have a section, dealing with abusive relationships, if I can't tell what happened to me. It's not like I said anything bad, I just said what I did to myself, what he did in response to me wanting to leave, and what he did once...
    kelly1796 kelly1796 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 13

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    Court24 Court24 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 26

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    ~20 Years Later~ . So,

    that guy I dated when I was 16-17 yrs old and again when I was about 20-23 yrs old (cause I thought he might had changed during that time but didn’t), apparently has not changed much 20 years later either. In some ways perhaps but his attitude is very interesting to me – 20...
    OlivePhire OlivePhire 36-40, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Young Love... Not

    When I was a junior in high school (so not too long ago) there was a reserved, ridiculously beautiful, private, and extremely quiet guy. I think the reason why I was so attracted to him is because I was so much like him. Minus the ridiculously beautiful part of course. So long...
    IntoYourArms IntoYourArms 70+, F 9 Responses Nov 16, 2013

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    I don't think I'm ever going to be able to find

    a good relationship...I know it sounds sad and negative; however, all I keep seeing are the warning signs that I ignored in my last abusive relationship. Once I feel I'm heading down a similar path, I jump off. I guess that's why it's easier to just seek out sex.
    eduray eduray 31-35, M 1 Response Nov 12

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    Ugly

    I was 15 years old when I met Pat* the first time. I wasn't blown over by his looks, or his charm. Looking back, I don't know exactly WHAT it was that attracted me to him. In truth, I suppose it was an exit strategy from my dysfunctional home. Pat* was 11 years my senior. Of...
    MissBehaviour MissBehaviour 36-40, F 14 Responses Mar 18, 2012

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    Im Thankful That Im Still Alive...

    I met my abusive ex when I was 19 and I was with him for 11 miserable years. I really should have read the warning signs early, I guess I know better now. To anyone new that he met he would come accross as the most charming funny outgoing individual you could meet. Behind closed...
    archangelgirl archangelgirl 31-35 8 Responses Jan 15, 2012

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    Can It Get Any Worse?

    Well Im a much different  person now then I was back when I was young and stupid. As many people put it! Or labled me. I had my first child when I was 15 years old. I dont regret that what so ever, he is the love and pride and joy of my life!! Hes gonna be 15 this...
    shy30 shy30 26-30, F 8 Responses May 7, 2007

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    He had always made me happy,

    I remember when we first met - I was one of those who believed in love at first sight. After dating for six months he started to become very aggressive towards me and I always believed it was my fault. Then one night I came home from work and he called me saying he had a few...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Sep 11

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    Ages 16-19 I was in an emotionally

    and physically abusive relationship. While I've grown past and become a stronger person, I'm really struggling with dating now. I'm in a new relationship, and the guy for the most part has been amazing. But today I noticed some behavioral tendencies that were the same as my ex...
    BabyBlondeOne BabyBlondeOne 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 2

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    My first boyfriend ever ruined me.

    We dated for 2 years and we lived a pretty good distance away but always saw each other and at one point I was staying with him. First, he was too good to be true. Sweet, loving, caring, spoiled me rotten, brought me any and everything, took me out, traveled constantly, dealt...
    cokimsta cokimsta 22-25, F Nov 12

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    I am still in an abusive relationship.

    My husband says to me that he has been torn apart every weekend because every weekend of his has been ruined. (Weekends where he screams at me, insults me, etc). He says it would not happen if I wasn't here. I see that as him blaming me for his abusive behavior. It hurts so...
    sfm21 sfm21 22-25, F 6 Responses Oct 18

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    Worthless

    I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years. Me and Jacob had been together for 5 years but it wasnt until the third year that he beat me. He had a temper and he had hit me a few times... but it was nothing compared to when he beat me. He has put me in the hospital 7 times. He...
    sucknswallow sucknswallow 22-25, F 16 Responses Mar 23, 2012

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    We all have scars, I'm nothing special.

    I neither need help nor support. I don't ask for pity or advice. I understand the pain in your eyes before I see your bruises. I have been used as an ashtray, a séx toy, a punch bag. The scars are on the outside for all to see. But hear this; those of us that have been...
    JaneBloodyAusten JaneBloodyAusten 31-35, F 6 Responses Jul 28

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    Holding On

    Why do I keep holding oneven though I know it will never beWhy do I keep holding onwhen what we have is killing meWhy do I keep holding onwishing the dream were still aliveWhy do I keep holding onrealizing our love will never surviveWhy do I keep holding onto the feeling I have...
    texastomboy texastomboy 36-40, F 6 Responses Jul 3, 2012

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    i have been with my abusive husband

    for 21years from the age of 16 (he was then 18). I am sharing my story in the hope that it will help you if you are facing something like this, that there is always a way to get out, it is scary but there is hope. For a long time he was so charming and he wanted to see me...
    KirstyF KirstyF 36-40, F 5 Responses Dec 13, 2013

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    I was in a verbally abuse relationship

    for almist 6 year just got out of it a few months ago and moved a way we have two kids together I still feel controlled by him and let him make the calls. I have scars and a lot of problems cause of all the abuse
    mt2015 mt2015 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 13

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    I still can't sleep. I keep replaying

    everything in my head 14 years of verbal and physical abuse. It would be nice to talk to a counselor but they aren't free. I finally left him in April but divorce is ongoing and contested by him. I'm scared of what will happen next. I need someone to talk to that has been...
    Cheetah2210 Cheetah2210 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 6

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    Maybe my story can give hope to someone else.

    I was in a relationship with this handsome, smart, funny guy. Then one day that guy changed. Maybe not one day, maybe one week, or one year, I don't know, or maybe he was always the jerk he became I just didn't know it or see it because he hid it well. Well he started being...
    SamanthaSweet SamanthaSweet 22-25, F 9 Responses Jul 8

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    Today I was reminded of how completely trapped

    I used to feel; but how I didn't realize just how trapped I felt until I was out. Today, a rather new friend and I were watching a news story on the Ray Rice incident, and how an ESPN anchor got suspended over calling the commissioner a liar. She then began to tell me about...
    lovelyss lovelyss 22-25, F Sep 25

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    A long time ago I was married to an abusive man.

    When we first met he would throw his jacket over a puddle so I didn't have to walk in muddy water. He focused on my every need. We married 9 months after meeting. The abuse started as soon as the wedding was completed. He didn't even come home for 3 days after the wedding...
    yooper01 yooper01 56-60, F 6 Responses Nov 8

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    Sad thing is that now I am used to it

    and there are no more complaints. It just feels natural. :(
    SinglemomPuff SinglemomPuff 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 24

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    http://m.wikihow.com/Spot-a-Sociopath This is

    insanely spot on to a guy I dated who verbally and physically abused me and who would lie and cheat. I did all the wrong things during that relationship because I am a naturally emotional person and allowed him to get to me! Worst combination of he and I.
    alexncohen alexncohen 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 13

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    Surreal

    I remember his smell. The way his voice would waiver when he was on the verge of one of his episodes . I tried to stay out of his way. I remember the last time he put his hands on me. He had ran through all his usual insults. Fat, ugly , disgusting, imperfect, lazy, and whatever...
    ALL4SMILES ALL4SMILES 31-35, F 12 Responses Nov 18, 2012

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    We get married for almost 3 years

    and after wed my MIL and SIL lives with us. They dont even contribute any penny for either bills, foods, grocery... almost nothing. We both feed them and serve them. My in laws consider me as a slave. I'm only allowed to cook what they like and by the way they want. They use...
    jacquelinepham jacquelinepham 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 11

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    After being separated

    for 4 and a half months, 10 months of counseling, a supportive family, and a new man who loves me unconditionally: I still catch myself feeling guilt. The years of being controlled, blamed, and made to feel unworthy don't vanish. Just because I know, intellectually, that I didn...
    NCheartinNY NCheartinNY 36-40, F 3 Responses Oct 15

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    I grew up with abuse.

    it was always around me of every kind. I swore to myself that when I grew up I'd never let me and children live the type of life my mother and I had lived, but i guess that was just a wish of a little girl. my husband is wonderful. He truly is. I live him with all of my heart...
    openlycurious openlycurious 18-21, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    it took everything i had to leave,

    i couldn't tell anyone he hit me.though im sure people knew. i left the only way i knew how. and that was to fly across the country where i knew he couldn't reach me, without telling anyone.
    christajean christajean 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 11

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