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I Have Been To Hell And Back More Than Once

For those have have fought, fought again, and are still fighting. 268 People

    You ask me to stop being myself To say

    that you are right, when you aren't I know who I am, and I will do things my way You will not control me If you get in my way, I will turn against you Leave me to my thoughts, for their are my only true company in this darkness called life But I dare you, to try and help me, it...
    berserkerwolf berserkerwolf 16-17, M Feb 13

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    The Demon Of Chaos

    I'm Anethoth, the demon of chaos, I have come back from hell to find my soldiers, if you have any questions feel free....
    Anethoth6 Anethoth6 13-15 Oct 17, 2013

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    But Different Now....

    I didn't give up, and now am cruising the road of peace and love.......the happy road of destiny. I believe we are all destined to be happy and at peace....this is God's wish for us, and if we believe and want it-it is ours for the taking....
    peacefulprincess peacefulprincess 31-35, F Aug 11, 2011

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    I am a survivor of self harm

    and have not self harmed in more than 20 years now. I now have better outlets for dealing with my guilt and sadness over past events, usually writing and sometimes painting. It does strengthen me to realize that I'm a survivor even though much of the time I don't feel...
    lauren71 lauren71 41-45, F Mar 2

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    Only The Once

    I'd like to go again, it was a very nice flight from Oslo. ;)
    Rachel70 Rachel70 41-45, F 3 Responses Aug 15, 2013

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    Having panic attacks?

    Here's some advice from Tyler Durden. 
    Lifeafterpanic566 Lifeafterpanic566 31-35, M Mar 7

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    The Pain

    I have been to hell and back far too many times. There has been so many moments where i have thought ''i just can't take anymore'' and then something else happens, weighing me down ... laying heavy on my shoulders. Sometimes too many little things build up ... which makes up a...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Jul 10, 2013

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    What is a Panic AttackA very important question

    if you're struggling with this condition. You should really understanding exactly what's going on behind the scenes.So what is a PA?A sudden feeling of acute and disabling anxiety.`Ok, that's the textbook definition, but i don't think that clears things up too much so let's go l...
    Lifeafterpanic566 Lifeafterpanic566 31-35, M Feb 23

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    Hell?

    Hell Hole, AZ...is that what you are talking about?.....Helltown, CA,.yes, nice little ghost town......sometimes feel like I fought the the Hellfighters...haven't had the chance to tour Hell, Michigan ( the place where Hell freezes over)... even eaten in Hell's Kitchen, N.Y...
    PoppaBear53 PoppaBear53 56-60, M Mar 22, 2012

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    Lullaby Of The Dead

    Ring around the Rosie Pocket full if posies Ashes, Ashes We all fall down.... Ring around the Rosie What do you suppose we Can do to fight the darkness In which we drown? Ring around the Rosie This evil thing it KNOWS me..... Lost ghosts surround me.... I. Can't...
    Anethoth6 Anethoth6 13-15 Oct 21, 2013

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    Booze And Drugs,my Friends

    When i first started drinking it wasn't to bad.Then my hell started.Getting drunk once a month to every weekend.Then killing a half pint of whiskey in the morning before going to work.Carring a half pint into work and killing it with what ever else someone brought.Popping pills...
    cindyloulove cindyloulove 56-60, M Aug 11, 2011

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    Back Home And Having An Existential Crisis

    I went abroad for a few years, got my graduate degree, took a job and had a semi-serious relationship. After a few years, I came back home to my country cuz my company wouldn't sponsor visas and also partially because I wanted to because I hated my job. I wanted to try to stay in...
    Ravinman Ravinman 22-25, M Apr 12, 2013

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    Does fear cause real diarrhea

    or does it cause the feeling only ? http://livelifetothefullest.live-panic-free.com/2014/03/03/does-fear-cause-real-diarrhea-or-does-it-cause-the-feeling-only-.aspx Hey guys, sorry if this seems spammy, not my intention at all. I used to just paste my experiences in several...
    Lifeafterpanic566 Lifeafterpanic566 31-35, M Mar 4

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    My Story

    My story doesn't begin in a magical place, nor does it end with a 'happily ever after'. There where no super hero's to save the day, only evil that haunts each chapter. My story will make you cry before it makes you laugh, and.. I'm not even sure I have what it takes to speak...
    BreathingInBlades BreathingInBlades 18-21, F Aug 7, 2011

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    I Am A Real Demon

    Hello, I am Azethoth, te demon of chaos, born from hell....if anyone has any questions to ask, feel free....
    Anethoth6 Anethoth6 13-15 Oct 6, 2013

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    My Pain, Story

    I have always had this awful feeling, one that I couldn't point to, one that made me think that I was crazy, I was imagining it, I've had a rough life, I won't go into details, but I have a very high pain tolerance because of my misfortune, I have lived with the feeling for 19...
    Just1a1nameless1soul Just1a1nameless1soul 18-21 Dec 2, 2012

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    Help Me! I Obsess Over Everything!

    Question: I have been living with panic attacks and anxiety for about 16 years. It started after I stopped using drugs. I constantly thought I was going to or was in the act of having a heart attack. Then, it started me checking windows and doors repeatedly every night, and the...
    Lifeafterpanic566 Lifeafterpanic566 31-35, M Sep 9, 2013

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    And I'M Going Back Again

    .... Yet again... I must venture to hell by myself.... I refuse help from others on this journey that I must take.... My emotions are growing stronger and are showing more.... I must hide them deeper... So I must being them together again, just to push them away... Hell: it is...
    berserkerwolf berserkerwolf 16-17, M 1 Response Aug 23, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    And I am going to do it again tonight.. Letting it all out.. Hopefully I'll have a good night sleep.. then feel better by morning 😉
    TearfulNights22 TearfulNights22 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 3

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    I've done it many times when I can't sleep. And when I can't sleep it means I think so many things. So many things about the future, the present, my mistakes. And then, I just cry...
    Kitzami Kitzami 13-15, M Mar 21

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    it only happens on certain days. As corny as it sounds its normally because of a missing my tbdl mom in one way or another or b wanting a real tbdl life not just online. u other...
    jaxianrhyder jaxianrhyder 18-21, T Apr 1

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    My grade in Spanish class is the reason I cry myself to sleep... Also my extreme loneliness and awful personality but of course, those don't matter as much.
    Girlinthefloweredskirt Girlinthefloweredskirt 16-17, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm trying to figure out how I got to be the person I am, what brought me to this place. I know that I'm the sum of my experiences, so perhaps exploring them will help me better...
    zyffdog zyffdog 56-60, M 2 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    A Decision I Made... Years Ago. To have and to hold from this day forward. Sept 15, 2001 on this date I informed my spouse and said "I was going to transition into a woman, many...
    Trisha60ts Trisha60ts 61-65, T 3 Responses Mar 24

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    Ok, this was the scariest thing of my life... I was in a library, with a friend, and we were having a good time, until we noticed that creepy guy that was following us. Wherever...
    Litany43 Litany43 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    It it interesting to see the reactions of others to my situation. My family, friends, strangers, everyone has an opinion and a strong one at that. I married my hubby for the wrong...
    unexpectedlove15 unexpectedlove15 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    More than once (Written on March 25) I re posted this I have been lead on about four times. Twice the other person found someone else and kicked me to the curb like trash. One I...
    musiclover2014x musiclover2014x 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    For a little over a year I have been trying to explain the reasons and motivations behind the way I have lived my life since I married my husband. I have never been able to explain...
    isis55 isis55 56-60, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    In complete denial....... Hello all. I have read many posts of yalls dealing with this issue. I came searching for answers and help/support because I feel very alone and scared. I...
    ashoryb ashoryb 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 7

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    I will write about this. I actually kind of want to have at least one story for each experience I've got listed, but I doubt I will ever manage all of that. I will preface the...
    Lgl700 Lgl700 51-55, M 5 days ago

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    Everybody who I've told what she does to me says that she is abusive, but I'm still not sure. I know that she's narcissistic because in all the articles I read about it almost all...
    jules401 jules401 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 29

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    I have been to Europe on several separate occasions for work and pleasure with my family. I love to sight see, visit castles, shop, eat different types of foods, going to...
    femalesimplybeautiful femalesimplybeautiful 41-45, F 2 hrs ago

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    it is infuriating to receive mail from E P Allie telling me that once again a group I belonged to was deleted for a policy violation...is it unreasonable to believe someone...
    warstorm warstorm 46-50, M 1 Response Apr 9

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    I feel more love from this guy than I do from my actual family... I still remember when I found him. It was one of the times I had completely given up on my family... Finished Done...
    Awakened92 Awakened92 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 3

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    6 months, 377 applications sent, 18 weeks of unemployment, 3 in-person interviews and 1 lump sum severance check later, I, Jai Ferrell, a 10-year entertainment marketing...
    jaiferrell jaiferrell 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 11

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    Well, if you want to get technical, I still am. I'm still in and out of a few of the shelters in my area. However, I know this is a temporary situation that was meant to teach me...
    Mariposa85 Mariposa85 26-30, F Apr 8

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    I was bullied alot in my elementary years ... And I didn't have many friends ... I kept moving alot and was bullied due to my weight...I've also have been called ugly , and stupid...
    emmawinterfrost emmawinterfrost 13-15, F a week ago

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    I first met Brad when I was 11 & he was 13. His family came to vacation during 4th of July at the beach where I lived. After several summers & hundreds of letters (way before the...
    mermaid27 mermaid27 36-40 Apr 3

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    I was a wild dancer that loved to do powermoves. I am a member of a Breakers Crew. However I consider myself an ex dancer. Years ago I wanted to continue practicing powermoves, and...
    HandsomeRocker HandsomeRocker 18-21, M Apr 7

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    Travelling in India.I had heard how dangerous the roads are. So was prepared to be nervous, scared, even with a local driver.Traffic in India is chaotic. Much hooting as " nobody...
    avatarunknown avatarunknown 51-55, F 3 Responses Mar 28

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    I am a young mother. I have made many, many mistakes in my past, true. I was a wild teen who came from a broken home. Both of my parents were/are drug addicts. My father was in and...
    shoxic shoxic 22-25, F Mar 31

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    I am a correctional officer. Have been for 13 years. I personally despise my job. Imagine the worst bastard you work with { everyone has one } Now imagine having to cater to that...
    winchester64 winchester64 70+, M 14 hrs ago

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    I wanted to share a couple of excerpts from the book "Getting Past the Affair- A Program To Help You Cope, Heal and Move On---Together or Apart" by Douglas K. Snyder, PhD, Donald...
    Selfhelpme Selfhelpme 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 10

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    It's an empty feeling that I feel. It's with me everyday,it's a feeling that returns to me Whenever you're away,I simply miss you being there. Life seems dull and flat, Without you...
    vansai vansai 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    okay so there's a neighbor I like more than a friend(for privacy in this story im going to say their name is Andee) One night I was really bored so I walked by this bar near my...
    like0Rlove like0Rlove 18-21, F Mar 26

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    I was walking into hollister when I saw the cutest floral print bra, a flower skirt, and some flats. I wanted the but I did not have money for either. I went into the dressing...
    girlygirl0069 girlygirl0069 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 29

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    My dog is perfect. He is just like me in every way. Stubborn to no end. Sweet when he wants to be. Likes to be alone when he needs to but know that you are right there. Loves to go...
    adelaider adelaider 26-30, F Apr 4

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    I began my first relationship when I was 12. We were off and on ( mostly on ) for over 11 years. I spent more than half my life with him.. I got up at 5am for hockey practices and...
    AlynaBean AlynaBean 36-40, F 4 Responses Apr 8

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    I feel like crying, screaming, swearing, punching, thrashing, sprinting to the other side of the world and back again, I feel hot, I feel desperate.... I feel like I don't know...
    jeweldoggy jeweldoggy 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    These past 5 months have been a very emotional roller coaster as I've spoken to someone everyday, through xbox. We then proceeded to using viber, which wasn't working to well, so I...
    LaParee LaParee 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 20

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    I have been to Canada several times, to see Niagara Falls and last year I went to Toronto for the first time. I really like it up there, but only in the warmer times of the year...
    greatgig91 greatgig91 22-25, M Mar 20

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    Close and trusted friends are definitely preferred over acquaintances. I guess I have been stabbed in the back too many times by both but usually acquaintances. So I let very few...
    ballen0420 ballen0420 36-40, M Apr 2

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