I Have Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 944 People

    hellos random moments of depression.

    triggered due to being on Instagram. why the **** so I keep comparing myself to others? "I wish I had what she had" "I wish I could do that" "I'm not that pretty" along with my BDD it's so hard. I don't hate people; putting them down all because I don't have what they have isn't...
    mentallyhigh mentallyhigh
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Oct 7, 2015

    21 male, just finished University.

    Always been a self conscious person, looked extremely young until about 16 and still look younger than my age. Always had this obsession with my face and hair and constantly have to touch and look in any reflection, which I know is an odd thing to do. People think it's vanity...
    hewitt101 hewitt101
    22-25, M
    Jul 1, 2015

    Never would I have believed,

    not in a million years, that there was some mental disorder out there that could completely destroy someone, inside and out. Now, it's getting harder to look in the mirror at my drug addicted, depressed, and suicidal self. But it's not like looking in the mirror is easy for me...
    joshknows66 joshknows66
    16-17, M
    1 Response Feb 9, 2015

    Having a particularly bad day with these

    feelings. I just feel so lonely because of it and would just love to talk to someone who has it too. Most of my day is taken up by obsessing with my appearance. I'm just exhausted.
    Lolaface54 Lolaface54
    26-30, F
    Feb 20, 2016

    I can't get a formal diagnosis of BDD

    because my flaws aren't imaginary, they're not minor and there's nothing I can do about it so I don't try. I have three beautiful sisters and I had to be the too-tall, too-bony one with the disgusting crooked and broken teeth and big ugly nose and bug eyes, with an utterly flat...
    arachnoalae arachnoalae
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Aug 2, 2015

    I dread looking in mirrors.

    I hate what I see. I look hideous. I try to tell myself that I'm beautiful everyday to gain some confidence, but I always go back to feeling ugly. My friends, my family and some strangers would say that I'm beautiful, but I just don't see it. I don't see what they see. Is the...
    msladyt757 msladyt757
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Jul 8, 2014

    It Starts Off Cute Trying To Be Little Miss Perfect... Then It Gets Ugly.

    I'm 17 years old, and I've always been depicted as a perfectionist, perfect grades, handwriting, anything i could learn i would make sure i became "perfect" at it. However, the thing i cannot learn is how to accept the unsymmetrical flaws in my face + body. I hate the flaws, i...
    MissLorii MissLorii
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 28, 2013

    I was just recently diagnosed with BDD

    but it's definitely getting worse as I get older. My flaws aren't 'imaginary' they are very real. I have a bag under one of my eyes which makes my face asymmetric. I have no idea what's causing it and I've tried every method under the sun to get rid of it to no avail. The...
    Crazygirl664 Crazygirl664
    18-21, F
    Sep 19, 2015

    How Can You Have Bdd and Date?

    Hello, this is my first entry on this site, and I am happy to have found a place where I'm not the only person who feels like this. I have been dealing with BDD since I was 14, or 15. I'm 23 now, and I can honestly say it gets worse with age. I know a lot of ppl say they are...
    remy90 remy90
    24 Responses Jul 6, 2008

    I tend to focus on different things at

    different times, because I really don't like anything about my looks. But today I am completely disgusted by my mouth. I have these marionette lines so I always look like I'm frowning. I hate it! I look so horribly old!! Worst of all my husband says not to worry about it...
    PinkHeartCrystals PinkHeartCrystals
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jul 3, 2015

    BDD destroyed my hopes,

    dreams, everything. I never felt good enough for anyone. I was ashamed of my nose. I would stare in the mirror for hours, cry and scream "Why was I born? I'm so ugly I will never be loved!" I got fed up I couldn't live live like this any longer (7 yrs). I turned this anger into...
    AshyleeTheLittleBunny AshyleeTheLittleBunny
    22-25, F
    15 Responses Jun 13, 2015

    My name jay I suffer from body dismorhic

    for 2years now I wanted to get breast implants but I tried breast pill instead I became quite I'll after that I suffered body dismorhic I felt hideous and deformed I thought the tablets did somethink to me, living in fear with my demonds can't look in the mirrow. Life been a...
    jadeygrz jadeygrz
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Jun 9, 2015

    the day is starting off very insecure.

    or I am at least, I looked in the mirror today and now i really feel like I'm gonna cry. I tried taking a picture of myself on snapchat and nearly threw my iPod. I hate my skin, it's gross to me sadly. I hate feeling it. I hate how dark my lips are. I hate that I look like my...
    mentallyhigh mentallyhigh
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 21, 2015

    It all began when I was in my teens

    because I was bullied a lot , I started becoming obsessed with my appearance spending hours putting on make up and then I got scared of people looking At my face, so I started covering up my face with my hand or scarves . I was just to scared of letting people see my face .
    Hotsexychick222 Hotsexychick222
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Aug 11, 2015

    What it is like to be the only ugly woman.

    Every time I see any random woman anywhere, I think of things that people close to her might love about her. Maybe it's the way her eyes light up when she finds something interesting. Maybe it's how great she looks in her pink floral skirt, hugging her curves perfectly. Maybe...
    brriittttaannyy brriittttaannyy
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Apr 14, 2015

    I thought I would post up a little bit more

    about myself and my BDD experiences, hopefully connect with some people who may feel the same. I’m 24, from Ireland. My obsession with my makeup/hair/everything has been completely snowballing and exacerbating the past few years. It just feels like the standards I set for...
    Lolaface54 Lolaface54
    26-30, F
    Feb 21, 2016

    (I Do Not Own Anything)

    Mirror, Mirror by xXxHeatherAnnxXx (from devian art) That girl you see, look at her face. Not an imperfection lies in place. Look into her eyes so bright, Look closer, something isn't right. In her distorted mind, this young girl, Dwells a fear that others see mutations, Enough...
    marylight098 marylight098
    18-21, F
    Dec 2, 2013

    I Am Dying With It, Yet Cant Live Without It.

    It's both frustrating and confusing to know that the world sees a different person when they look at me than I do. A lot of people don't take me seriously when I tell them about my BDD... They either don't believe me, and assume that I'm just seeking some sort of attention, or...
    OblitusAuri OblitusAuri
    22-25, F
    18 Responses May 1, 2010

    Hi everyone, so basically this is quite tough

    for me to talk about because it pains me to do so... But I feel I have to share in order to 'tackle' this issue and try to solve it. I was a fat kid and had always been fat through out my childhood, and had been bullied before. until I hit about 15-16 when I started exercising...
    Iduneven Iduneven
    22-25, M
    1 Response Jun 19, 2015

    I have suffered from this

    for years. But every time I try to talk with anyone about how bad I feel because I hate my boobs or any other part I may be focused on, they will dismiss my feelings as if my feelings don't matter! I have been told to grow up, that I don't have any real problems if something...
    PinkHeartCrystals PinkHeartCrystals
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Jun 10, 2015

    Today my BDD is acting up extremely bad,

    I hate mirrors and I feel completely fat. I hate this constant feeling of sadness hurt, fatness and ugliness. I really wish I didn't have BDD it's the only thing that runs through my head from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes. I don't want to take meds I need...
    TattedPrincess89 TattedPrincess89
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jan 16, 2014

    You called her beautiful But she never did hear

    you. Mascara bleeds down Her tear stained cheeks. You brushed your lips on hers Showed her you care Yet her lips still quiver Beneath blotchy cheeks You whisper admiration Cherish her, love her Hoping to fill that gaping void Yet still she’s ‘finding’ her cracks You try to...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Oct 27, 2014

    I hate my nose, I don't have the energy to do

    anything, I just want to sleep all day. I don't want to go to school, I don't want anyone to see my nose. I can't understand how other people can have pretty noses, it's like a blessing.
    2mes 2mes
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 27, 2016

    As a child I grew up in a household with an

    alcoholic father, who was very much a dictator in the household, had anger problems, consistently cheated on my mom and would get into alcohol rages. My mother was depressed and passive. Hardly standing up for herself. My brother and I acted out a lot in our unstable...
    CountryPrincess88 CountryPrincess88
    26-30, F
    Apr 26, 2015

    I know I'm not severely obese

    nor overweight at all but it's like my eyes don't want me to see the real me with my body. All I see is fat literally everywhere and I feel like I'm getting bigger every single day. I've recovered from anorexia with bulimic tendencies and I'm eating correctly and exercising but...
    blossomingMe blossomingMe
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jul 24, 2014

    I hate my body. And the crazy part is,

    people tell me I'm hot all the time. I just don't see it. When I look in the mirror, all I see is how fat I look. It makes me really depressed sometimes. I consider becoming anorexic a lot. If I don't eat, then I won't feel discusting. I know it bad not to eat and it will just...
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jul 17, 2014

    I look at myself, and I see garbage.

    A pile of ugliness. If someone snaps a picture of me, it ends with me sobbing, or yelling at them without them knowing what they did wrong. School pictures leave me a wreck. Think of all the people who will flip to that page and point me out, laughing about how hideous I am...
    Junebug249 Junebug249
    18-21, F
    Jun 8, 2015

    This Is The Worst Disease

    I have been dealing with this for years now, I'm a little ashamed to say but yes I am a man, some man I am, When I was 17 I started to find my flaws because I was curious as to why I was getting such limited attention from women. It was my nose that I was concerned with and its...
    iknowhowyoufeel490 iknowhowyoufeel490
    22-25, M
    6 Responses May 3, 2012

    I lost a ton of weight,

    I felt like I was looking good. But I don't have perfect pecs and I think my head is too big. I also always feel like when I eat non healthy food my face gets fatter. I know I sound like a girl, it's hard to say this to people. I know people don't notice the changes I notice...
    tomcunnington tomcunnington
    22-25, M
    1 Response Jan 10, 2014

    Recently I have come to terms with my moderate

    body dysmorphic disorder. I have just realized that it is bad enough that I need to see a professional for help. Not because I have developed an eating disorder or exercise addiction, but because it has resulted in extremely low self-esteem. My low self-esteem has pushed away...
    smilemoonbright smilemoonbright
    26-30, F
    Mar 27, 2015

    I've always been a quiet not

    so secure person since my earliest memories I first discovered my body dysmorphic disorder in 9th grade (3 years ago) I just couldn't go to school my body was telling me no but I didn't know why yet after a few weeks of being house bound I saw true life: I hate my face on MTV...
    highheelsandtattoos highheelsandtattoos
    18-21, F
    Feb 19, 2014

    Relationships And Bdd

    I have BDD and my boyfriend of (going on) 2 years knows it's truly real and can take over my day if not my life for weeks on end. I am not sure how he can handle it or how well he really does but he makes a true effort to try to understand where i am coming from and what i see...
    lisra lisra
    18-21, F
    12 Responses Nov 16, 2010

    I've been battling with hating myself

    for a very long time, years! And it's all now become too much, it's ruining my relationship.. So I've decide to finally seek help by talking to people with the same problem as me. It's occurred to me before that I may have BDD but I just thought I was being silly and that's what...
    belle87 belle87
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Mar 23, 2014

    I have body dysmorphic disorder

    and it's taking over my life.
    SkinnyLovex SkinnyLovex
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jun 15, 2014

    New To Bdd

    My name is Kat and I have had BDD my entire life. I'm finally deciding at the age of 21 to get help for this disorder because it has progressively gotten worse and I never even knew it existed. I wasn't diagnosed until now because I never spoke up about my symptoms since i feel...
    katinthehat3 katinthehat3
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jun 3, 2012

    I am convinced I am hideous.

    I spend hours putting on makeup throughout the day and constantly check myself in the mirror. I spend so much time obsessing about my face being even (makeup wise) and always worrying about how it looks/what other people think of it. It's annoying because I have a good figure...
    pageee pageee
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 7, 2015

    okay so I'm really happy today!

    I told my mom about how worse I feel about my looks and how it gets in my everyday life. I told her about how it fvcks up my confidence levels and is kinda making me anti-social. yes she's seen me struggle with clothes and stuff, she's seen me not wanting to step out, she's seen...
    slytheringuy slytheringuy
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Jan 25, 2016

    I thought I would post in here.

    I havn't had a formal diagnosis but I do strongly feel like I suffer from this. Every time I look in the mirror, I look at my body and am never happy. I look at my hair and am never happy. I look for all the little things I see as flaws. I delay leaving the house, sometimes...
    lonelyguybc lonelyguybc
    31-35, M
    1 Response Sep 14, 2015

    I am 21 years old and suffer from body

    dysmorphic disorder. I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I get complimented and told how beautiful I am by people on almost a daily basis, and the people I'm closest to who actually know how insecure about myself don't seem to understand how I could feel the way I do. I...
    tgeex3 tgeex3
    Oct 22, 2014

    I have never been diagnosed,

    but I'm sure I have this along with depression and anxiety. I came across this blog and decided to post to see if anyone can relate. Okay, so. Most of the time I'm satisfied with the way I look in person (in real life, when I look in the mirror). However, it's when I take...
    flusteredbunny flusteredbunny
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Nov 17, 2014

    Facial Assymetry

    I was a very pretty girl. I would get compliments daily. I have long black hair, olive skin and exotic looking. I used to model. I got a bad outbreak of acne in my early 20's. A few months ago, i got silikon 1000 for my acne scarring from a very reputable doctor in New york...
    msmmm msmmm
    26-30, F
    1 Response Sep 2, 2013

    Hello, I’m a casting director in NYC

    and I'm working on a new TV show centered around BDD. The premise of the show is to help viewers understand BDD and to provide help to those cast and the viewers at home that may be suffering from BDD. The project is in the development stages right now and will not be broadcast...
    ahecht101 ahecht101
    46-50, M
    Apr 18, 2016

    I've just been diagnosed with BDD.

    It sucks. I obsess over how white my teeth are, how my hair looks, what clothes I wear, etc. I worry that when people see me, they see the frizzy hair, the acne, my not-so-white teeth. I also obsess with how skinny I am. I see myself as being extremely underweight and I'm always...
    killyourhero killyourhero
    18-21, F
    Jun 1, 2014

    I'm doing a project. I need words associated

    with body image problems tht I can write on my body. For example, fat, ugly, thigh gap, depressed. Please help me come up with more words!
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 15, 2015

    It feels weird that I've actually gotten to a

    stage where I feel the need to post about this. As I've grown up over the past few years I've become far more aware of how ridiculous many things are - how women are airbrushed to perfection in media, how conventionally attractive people are treated altogether differently from...
    mimimoon mimimoon
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 22, 2013

    I've just been diagnosed with BDD.

    I find it hard to accept because I look at photos of myself and think NAH IM JUST UGLY. Anyone been diagnosed that think that?
    megpeg megpeg
    22-25, F
    6 Responses May 19, 2015

    Facial Hatred

    The vast majority of the time I want to rip my face off. Extreme, yes but I cannot even think about myself without wanting to vomit
    brogues brogues
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jan 16, 2010

    BDD has torn my chances of a stable future.

    I cannot have any close relationships due to it, in fear that I will be discovered as revolting, and inevitably be uncared about. Logically, I am aware that these are not truthful ideas, yet my mind encourages this. I'm afraid to leave my house, nor do I feel like I can do the...
    Rissterr Rissterr
    22-25, F
    Dec 3, 2015

    It Gets Better!

    I've suffered with BDD for as long as I can remember. When I was very young I used to draw faces and cut them out, wearing them for days until they became as ugly as I thought I was. I wanted to change everything about myself. My name, my face, my body... to some point? I still...
    ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc
    18-21, F
    Jan 23, 2013

    ...and I feel like I am letting my boyfriend

    down. He has told me time and time again that he doesn't need naughty pictures from me. He never pressures me or makes me feel bad about the fact that I do not like to take pictures. But he lives further away and it feels like I SHOULD. I should send him pictures. I try. But...
    xenaphobic xenaphobic
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 18, 2016

    Well... Mine developed in middle school,

    unbeknownst to me. I was severely bullied at school and church. This was also when the abuse started from my mother. Verbal abuse. I was so self-conscious I would pretend to be sick so I didn't have to go to school. Wearing make-up and getting braces made me feel better, but...
    MidnightLaughter MidnightLaughter
    22-25, F
    Sep 17, 2015

    I've been feeling extremely low this weekend.

    I had a bad BDD attack. This was triggered by me taking pictures of myself and looking at them. I break down into tears when I look at pictures of me. I always look so ugly and hideous. Funnily enough the weekend before I went clubbing and was getting lots of male attention and...
    fluffyunicorn fluffyunicorn
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 4, 2015

    It hurts having to get up at 5am every morning,

    to spend 3 hours fully on makeup to only be called 'ugly' that day or not be noticed. It hurts spending loads of money on clothes, to only be told you look weird wearing it. It hurts when people point out your flaws, although you're already fully self conscious of them. It hurts...
    SilkyDoughnut SilkyDoughnut
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 5, 2014

    I feel almost free. and it wouldn't have

    happened if it were not for my friends, my brothers it wasn't until just now that I looked it up. lol one of the symptoms was avoiding the topic and i ignored that and just wanted to finally know the truth. turns out I was afraid of nothing I'm about just average. when I...
    SeriousSquirrel SeriousSquirrel
    26-30, M
    Dec 14, 2015

    Its been a while now

    since I wrote here. I have changed a LOT. I see life in a different way now. I feel lost, hopeless and empty. Its funny cause I started to look at the stuff I wrote here like a year ago and I cant believe does things preocupied me.A lot has happen since then. I overcame my Body...
    marylight098 marylight098
    18-21, F
    Jan 8, 2016

    I had no idea what I was dealing with on a

    daily basis was such a serious thing. I would wake up early and spend hours getting ready just to go to school. I would go look in the mirror after every class. I would sit in the mirror for hours a day picking out the things I hate about myself. My skin has acne scars and red...
    maddylionnn maddylionnn
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 26, 2015
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