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I Have Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 955 People

    I was just recently diagnosed with BDD

    but it's definitely getting worse as I get older. My flaws aren't 'imaginary' they are very real. I have a bag under one of my eyes which makes my face asymmetric. I have no idea what's causing it and I've tried every method under the sun to get rid of it to no avail. The...
    Crazygirl664 Crazygirl664 18-21, F Sep 19, 2015

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    My name jay I suffer from body dismorhic

    for 2years now I wanted to get breast implants but I tried breast pill instead I became quite I'll after that I suffered body dismorhic I felt hideous and deformed I thought the tablets did somethink to me, living in fear with my demonds can't look in the mirrow. Life been a...
    jadeygrz jadeygrz 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 9, 2015

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    New To Bdd

    My name is Kat and I have had BDD my entire life. I'm finally deciding at the age of 21 to get help for this disorder because it has progressively gotten worse and I never even knew it existed. I wasn't diagnosed until now because I never spoke up about my symptoms since i feel...
    katinthehat3 katinthehat3 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 3, 2012

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    I lost a ton of weight,

    I felt like I was looking good. But I don't have perfect pecs and I think my head is too big. I also always feel like when I eat non healthy food my face gets fatter. I know I sound like a girl, it's hard to say this to people. I know people don't notice the changes I notice...
    tomcunnington tomcunnington 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 10, 2014

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    the day is starting off very insecure.

    or I am at least, I looked in the mirror today and now i really feel like I'm gonna cry. I tried taking a picture of myself on snapchat and nearly threw my iPod. I hate my skin, it's gross to me sadly. I hate feeling it. I hate how dark my lips are. I hate that I look like my...
    xdizzybutterflyx xdizzybutterflyx 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 21, 2015

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    okay so I'm really happy today!

    I told my mom about how worse I feel about my looks and how it gets in my everyday life. I told her about how it fvcks up my confidence levels and is kinda making me anti-social. yes she's seen me struggle with clothes and stuff, she's seen me not wanting to step out, she's seen...
    slytheringuy slytheringuy 16-17, M 2 Responses Jan 25

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    BDD destroyed my hopes,

    dreams, everything. I never felt good enough for anyone. I was ashamed of my nose. I would stare in the mirror for hours, cry and scream "Why was I born? I'm so ugly I will never be loved!" I got fed up I couldn't live live like this any longer (7 yrs). I turned this anger into...
    AshyleeTheLittleBunny AshyleeTheLittleBunny 22-25, F 18 Responses Jun 13, 2015

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    I've been battling with hating myself

    for a very long time, years! And it's all now become too much, it's ruining my relationship.. So I've decide to finally seek help by talking to people with the same problem as me. It's occurred to me before that I may have BDD but I just thought I was being silly and that's what...
    belle87 belle87 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 23, 2014

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    Never would I have believed,

    not in a million years, that there was some mental disorder out there that could completely destroy someone, inside and out. Now, it's getting harder to look in the mirror at my drug addicted, depressed, and suicidal self. But it's not like looking in the mirror is easy for me...
    joshknows66 joshknows66 16-17, M 1 Response Feb 9, 2015

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    I have never been diagnosed,

    but I'm sure I have this along with depression and anxiety. I came across this blog and decided to post to see if anyone can relate. Okay, so. Most of the time I'm satisfied with the way I look in person (in real life, when I look in the mirror). However, it's when I take...
    flusteredbunny flusteredbunny 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    I hate my body. And the crazy part is,

    people tell me I'm hot all the time. I just don't see it. When I look in the mirror, all I see is how fat I look. It makes me really depressed sometimes. I consider becoming anorexic a lot. If I don't eat, then I won't feel discusting. I know it bad not to eat and it will just...
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 17, 2014

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    Facial Assymetry

    I was a very pretty girl. I would get compliments daily. I have long black hair, olive skin and exotic looking. I used to model. I got a bad outbreak of acne in my early 20's. A few months ago, i got silikon 1000 for my acne scarring from a very reputable doctor in New york...
    msmmm msmmm 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 2, 2013

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    I have body dysmorphic disorder

    and it's taking over my life.
    SkinnyLovex SkinnyLovex 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 15, 2014

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    Hi everyone, so basically this is quite tough

    for me to talk about because it pains me to do so... But I feel I have to share in order to 'tackle' this issue and try to solve it. I was a fat kid and had always been fat through out my childhood, and had been bullied before. until I hit about 15-16 when I started exercising...
    Iduneven Iduneven 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 19, 2015

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    BDD has torn my chances of a stable future.

    I cannot have any close relationships due to it, in fear that I will be discovered as revolting, and inevitably be uncared about. Logically, I am aware that these are not truthful ideas, yet my mind encourages this. I'm afraid to leave my house, nor do I feel like I can do the...
    Rissterr Rissterr 22-25, F Dec 3, 2015

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    Relationships And Bdd

    I have BDD and my boyfriend of (going on) 2 years knows it's truly real and can take over my day if not my life for weeks on end. I am not sure how he can handle it or how well he really does but he makes a true effort to try to understand where i am coming from and what i see...
    lisra lisra 18-21, F 12 Responses Nov 16, 2010

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    I've always been a quiet not

    so secure person since my earliest memories I first discovered my body dysmorphic disorder in 9th grade (3 years ago) I just couldn't go to school my body was telling me no but I didn't know why yet after a few weeks of being house bound I saw true life: I hate my face on MTV...
    highheelsandtattoos highheelsandtattoos 18-21, F Feb 19, 2014

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    Recently I have come to terms with my moderate

    body dysmorphic disorder. I have just realized that it is bad enough that I need to see a professional for help. Not because I have developed an eating disorder or exercise addiction, but because it has resulted in extremely low self-esteem. My low self-esteem has pushed away...
    smilemoonbright smilemoonbright 26-30, F Mar 27, 2015

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    Its been a while now

    since I wrote here. I have changed a LOT. I see life in a different way now. I feel lost, hopeless and empty. Its funny cause I started to look at the stuff I wrote here like a year ago and I cant believe does things preocupied me.A lot has happen since then. I overcame my Body...
    marylight098 marylight098 16-17, F Jan 8

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    I know I'm not severely obese

    nor overweight at all but it's like my eyes don't want me to see the real me with my body. All I see is fat literally everywhere and I feel like I'm getting bigger every single day. I've recovered from anorexia with bulimic tendencies and I'm eating correctly and exercising but...
    blossomingMe blossomingMe 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 24, 2014

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    It feels weird that I've actually gotten to a

    stage where I feel the need to post about this. As I've grown up over the past few years I've become far more aware of how ridiculous many things are - how women are airbrushed to perfection in media, how conventionally attractive people are treated altogether differently from...
    mimimoon mimimoon 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 22, 2013

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    I can't get a formal diagnosis of BDD

    because my flaws aren't imaginary, they're not minor and there's nothing I can do about it so I don't try. I have three beautiful sisters and I had to be the too-tall, too-bony one with the disgusting crooked and broken teeth and big ugly nose and bug eyes, with an utterly flat...
    arachnoalae arachnoalae 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 2, 2015

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    I've just been diagnosed with BDD.

    It sucks. I obsess over how white my teeth are, how my hair looks, what clothes I wear, etc. I worry that when people see me, they see the frizzy hair, the acne, my not-so-white teeth. I also obsess with how skinny I am. I see myself as being extremely underweight and I'm always...
    killyourhero killyourhero 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 1, 2014

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    I tend to focus on different things at

    different times, because I really don't like anything about my looks. But today I am completely disgusted by my mouth. I have these marionette lines so I always look like I'm frowning. I hate it! I look so horribly old!! Worst of all my husband says not to worry about it...
    kcyata kcyata 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 3, 2015

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    I am convinced I am hideous.

    I spend hours putting on makeup throughout the day and constantly check myself in the mirror. I spend so much time obsessing about my face being even (makeup wise) and always worrying about how it looks/what other people think of it. It's annoying because I have a good figure...
    pageee pageee 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 7, 2015

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    It all began when I was in my teens

    because I was bullied a lot , I started becoming obsessed with my appearance spending hours putting on make up and then I got scared of people looking At my face, so I started covering up my face with my hand or scarves . I was just to scared of letting people see my face .
    Hotsexychick222 Hotsexychick222 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 11, 2015

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    Well... Mine developed in middle school,

    unbeknownst to me. I was severely bullied at school and church. This was also when the abuse started from my mother. Verbal abuse. I was so self-conscious I would pretend to be sick so I didn't have to go to school. Wearing make-up and getting braces made me feel better, but...
    MidnightLaughter MidnightLaughter 22-25, F Sep 17, 2015

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    21 male, just finished University.

    Always been a self conscious person, looked extremely young until about 16 and still look younger than my age. Always had this obsession with my face and hair and constantly have to touch and look in any reflection, which I know is an odd thing to do. People think it's vanity...
    hewitt101 hewitt101 22-25, M Jul 1, 2015

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    hellos random moments of depression.

    triggered due to being on Instagram. why the **** so I keep comparing myself to others? "I wish I had what she had" "I wish I could do that" "I'm not that pretty" along with my BDD it's so hard. I don't hate people; putting them down all because I don't have what they have isn't...
    xdizzybutterflyx xdizzybutterflyx 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 7, 2015

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    Today my BDD is acting up extremely bad,

    I hate mirrors and I feel completely fat. I hate this constant feeling of sadness hurt, fatness and ugliness. I really wish I didn't have BDD it's the only thing that runs through my head from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes. I don't want to take meds I need...
    TattedPrincess89 TattedPrincess89 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 16, 2014

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    I've been feeling extremely low this weekend.

    I had a bad BDD attack. This was triggered by me taking pictures of myself and looking at them. I break down into tears when I look at pictures of me. I always look so ugly and hideous. Funnily enough the weekend before I went clubbing and was getting lots of male attention and...
    fluffyunicorn fluffyunicorn 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 4, 2015

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    What it is like to be the only ugly woman.

    Every time I see any random woman anywhere, I think of things that people close to her might love about her. Maybe it's the way her eyes light up when she finds something interesting. Maybe it's how great she looks in her pink floral skirt, hugging her curves perfectly. Maybe...
    brriittttaannyy brriittttaannyy 16-17, F 4 Responses Apr 14, 2015

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    (I Do Not Own Anything)

    Mirror, Mirror by xXxHeatherAnnxXx (from devian art) That girl you see, look at her face. Not an imperfection lies in place. Look into her eyes so bright, Look closer, something isn't right. In her distorted mind, this young girl, Dwells a fear that others see mutations, Enough...
    marylight098 marylight098 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    Facial Hatred

    The vast majority of the time I want to rip my face off. Extreme, yes but I cannot even think about myself without wanting to vomit
    brogues brogues 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 16, 2010

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    I dread looking in mirrors.

    I hate what I see. I look hideous. I try to tell myself that I'm beautiful everyday to gain some confidence, but I always go back to feeling ugly. My friends, my family and some strangers would say that I'm beautiful, but I just don't see it. I don't see what they see. Is the...
    msladyt757 msladyt757 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 8, 2014

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    I look at myself, and I see garbage.

    A pile of ugliness. If someone snaps a picture of me, it ends with me sobbing, or yelling at them without them knowing what they did wrong. School pictures leave me a wreck. Think of all the people who will flip to that page and point me out, laughing about how hideous I am...
    Junebug249 Junebug249 16-17, F Jun 8, 2015

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    What's to hate.. Everything from head to toe.

    Missing those days when as a little kid it did not affect me of what I looked like or what I eat. Now I wish I would've taken care of myself. I am not the age where I should be lazy but it's hard living in depression over my bodyily issues. Everyone is bound to have an answer to...
    VenomOfMadrid VenomOfMadrid 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 23, 2015

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    As a child I grew up in a household with an

    alcoholic father, who was very much a dictator in the household, had anger problems, consistently cheated on my mom and would get into alcohol rages. My mother was depressed and passive. Hardly standing up for herself. My brother and I acted out a lot in our unstable...
    CountryPrincess88 CountryPrincess88 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 26, 2015

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    I'm a recovering suicide survivor with BDD

    and severe depression. I think I've got the hang of handling this thing. For anyone who has questions I'd be happy to answer them to the best of my ability.
    YourMayaBear YourMayaBear 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 6, 2015

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    Today I'm supposed to go to my dance practice

    but I don't want to leave the house. I finally thought I felt good about my body but reminiscing last night of all the fat shaming my mum has done to me made me remember things. And now I hate looking at the mirror I don't want to. I look fat and stupid honestly. I know I'm more...
    MusicalGirl24 MusicalGirl24 13-15, F Mar 15, 2015

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    It hurts having to get up at 5am every morning,

    to spend 3 hours fully on makeup to only be called 'ugly' that day or not be noticed. It hurts spending loads of money on clothes, to only be told you look weird wearing it. It hurts when people point out your flaws, although you're already fully self conscious of them. It hurts...
    SilkyDoughnut SilkyDoughnut 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2014

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    I'm doing a project. I need words associated

    with body image problems tht I can write on my body. For example, fat, ugly, thigh gap, depressed. Please help me come up with more words!
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 15, 2015

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    I've just been diagnosed with BDD.

    I find it hard to accept because I look at photos of myself and think NAH IM JUST UGLY. Anyone been diagnosed that think that?
    megpeg megpeg 22-25, F 6 Responses May 19, 2015

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    It Starts Off Cute Trying To Be Little Miss Perfect... Then It Gets Ugly.

    I'm 17 years old, and I've always been depicted as a perfectionist, perfect grades, handwriting, anything i could learn i would make sure i became "perfect" at it. However, the thing i cannot learn is how to accept the unsymmetrical flaws in my face + body. I hate the flaws, i...
    MissLorii MissLorii 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2013

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    I am 21 years old and suffer from body

    dysmorphic disorder. I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I get complimented and told how beautiful I am by people on almost a daily basis, and the people I'm closest to who actually know how insecure about myself don't seem to understand how I could feel the way I do. I...
    tgeex3 tgeex3 22-25 1 Response Oct 22, 2014

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