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I Have Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 852 People

    Today my BDD is acting up extremely bad,

    I hate mirrors and I feel completely fat. I hate this constant feeling of sadness hurt, fatness and ugliness. I really wish I didn't have BDD it's the only thing that runs through my head from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes. I don't want to take meds I need...
    TattedPrincess89 TattedPrincess89 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 16, 2014

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    I've always struggled with my weight

    and never being the skinny girl. I used to pretend it didn't bother me, and I was able to deal with it that way. A year go I started dieting and losing weight and thats when I came to find out I have BDD. I've lost nearly 50 pounds, yet I see no difference in the mirror. The...
    katey907 katey907 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 24, 2014

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    I am an almost 21 year old female.

    5'7" and 115 pounds. I have struggled with severe self esteem issues for years, basically my whole adolescent and teenage life and since I was around 18, it has gotten progressively worse. It wasn't until the last year at a half or so that I self diagnosed myself with Body...
    Iambekah Iambekah 18-21, F Oct 20, 2014

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    I have always had issues with myself

    for as long as I can remember. My weight is terrible (doesn't help I have had anorexia and relapsed into EDNOS though I am over weight), I hate my hair, I hate my boobs, my arms, my legs, my stomach - everything. I constantly try change my appearance searching for that...
    OnyxHeart OnyxHeart 18-21, F Jan 15

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    It hurts having to get up at 5am every morning,

    to spend 3 hours fully on makeup to only be called 'ugly' that day or not be noticed. It hurts spending loads of money on clothes, to only be told you look weird wearing it. It hurts when people point out your flaws, although you're already fully self conscious of them. It hurts...
    SilkyDoughnut SilkyDoughnut 16-17, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2014

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    I hate my body. And the crazy part is,

    people tell me I'm hot all the time. I just don't see it. When I look in the mirror, all I see is how fat I look. It makes me really depressed sometimes. I consider becoming anorexic a lot. If I don't eat, then I won't feel discusting. I know it bad not to eat and it will just...
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 17, 2014

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    (I Do Not Own Anything)

    Mirror, Mirror by xXxHeatherAnnxXx (from devian art) That girl you see, look at her face. Not an imperfection lies in place. Look into her eyes so bright, Look closer, something isn't right. In her distorted mind, this young girl, Dwells a fear that others see mutations, Enough...
    marylight098 marylight098 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    I know I'm not severely obese

    nor overweight at all but it's like my eyes don't want me to see the real me with my body. All I see is fat literally everywhere and I feel like I'm getting bigger every single day. I've recovered from anorexia with bulimic tendencies and I'm eating correctly and exercising but...
    blossomingMe blossomingMe 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 24, 2014

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    I have to wear makeup 24/7,

    even to sleep or else I feel so ugly that depression overwhelms me. Taking a shower gives me a lot of anxiety because I never want my makeup to come off
    Tessasanders Tessasanders 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 27, 2014

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    I've just been diagnosed with BDD.

    It sucks. I obsess over how white my teeth are, how my hair looks, what clothes I wear, etc. I worry that when people see me, they see the frizzy hair, the acne, my not-so-white teeth. I also obsess with how skinny I am. I see myself as being extremely underweight and I'm always...
    killyourhero killyourhero 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 1, 2014

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    I dread looking in mirrors.

    I hate what I see. I look hideous. I try to tell myself that I'm beautiful everyday to gain some confidence, but I always go back to feeling ugly. My friends, my family and some strangers would say that I'm beautiful, but I just don't see it. I don't see what they see. Is the...
    msladyt757 msladyt757 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 8, 2014

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    I had this really bad

    but I overcame it, it may seem impossible but it is possible! Don't be afraid to speak out about it!
    wheelsxoxo wheelsxoxo 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    Facial Assymetry

    I was a very pretty girl. I would get compliments daily. I have long black hair, olive skin and exotic looking. I used to model. I got a bad outbreak of acne in my early 20's. A few months ago, i got silikon 1000 for my acne scarring from a very reputable doctor in New york...
    msmmm msmmm 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 2, 2013

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    My BDD was under control

    for one month and now it's back again. It was triggered after looking at my Facebook profile picture. At the time I uploaded it I really liked how I looked in it. Now I can't stand it and it literally drives me to tears. I'm so embarrassed that I ever uploaded it in the first...
    fluffyunicorn fluffyunicorn 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 21, 2014

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    Not a lot of people seem to have heard about

    BDD. I've even had a few psychiatrists and therapists who had not heard of it. To quickly explain it before I really talk about how it's affected me, I'll just paste this small part from Wikipedia: "Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a chronic mental illness, wherein the afflicted...
    SailingwithSparrows SailingwithSparrows 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 24, 2014

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    Today I'm supposed to go to my dance practice

    but I don't want to leave the house. I finally thought I felt good about my body but reminiscing last night of all the fat shaming my mum has done to me made me remember things. And now I hate looking at the mirror I don't want to. I look fat and stupid honestly. I know I'm more...
    MusicalGirl24 MusicalGirl24 13-15, F Mar 15

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    Everyday is torture to compare myself to every

    person I see and think I'm deformed and disgusting. My fiance compliments me all the time but I still know I'm ugly. This makes me a jealous, controlling person because I know he can find a girl prettier. Any girl really. I have nothing going for me. I'm short (5"0), fat...
    Tessasanders Tessasanders 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 27, 2014

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    How Can You Have Bdd and Date?

    Hello, this is my first entry on this site, and I am happy to have found a place where I'm not the only person who feels like this. I have been dealing with BDD since I was 14, or 15. I'm 23 now, and I can honestly say it gets worse with age. I know a lot of ppl say they are...
    remy90 remy90 22-25 24 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    I don't know if I have this

    or not. I mean yes, I have an ED and I know these go hand in hand. I do think I'm fat tho..it's all I see
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 29, 2014

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    You called her beautiful But she never did hear

    you. Mascara bleeds down Her tear stained cheeks. You brushed your lips on hers Showed her you care Yet her lips still quiver Beneath blotchy cheeks You whisper admiration Cherish her, love her Hoping to fill that gaping void Yet still she’s ‘finding’ her cracks You try to...
    mlynnikens mlynnikens 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 27, 2014

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    I have never gone a full day without eating at

    least something. The other day, Ana took over my mind so badly I decided I wasn't gonna eat at all for 24 hours. I went all day without eating. At work I pretended I woke up late so I couldn't pack a lunch. That night my fiancé and I were out and he asked if I wanted to go out...
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli 22-25, F Jan 19

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    I lost 6 pounds in the past 2 weeks.

    I was feeling super confident for the first time in a long time! I hadn't weighed myself in a few days so I got back on the scale today, and I had gained it all back. These are the moments that make me want to stop eating
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 6, 2014

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    I lost a ton of weight,

    I felt like I was looking good. But I don't have perfect pecs and I think my head is too big. I also always feel like when I eat non healthy food my face gets fatter. I know I sound like a girl, it's hard to say this to people. I know people don't notice the changes I notice...
    tomcunnington tomcunnington 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 10, 2014

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    I have BDD - I remember being 5 years old

    and wanting to rip my face off with a knife. I suffered with it in my teens horribly and took the initiative to see the school social worker in high school. Despite having tons of guys wanting me and getting endless compliments, eventually ending up running posh, upscale spas...
    Scorpio701 Scorpio701 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 27, 2014

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    I have never been diagnosed,

    but I'm sure I have this along with depression and anxiety. I came across this blog and decided to post to see if anyone can relate. Okay, so. Most of the time I'm satisfied with the way I look in person (in real life, when I look in the mirror). However, it's when I take...
    flusteredbunny flusteredbunny 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    Okay, so I don't personally have Body

    Dysmorphic Disorder but I have a boyfriend who does. We're both 18 years old and have been together for almost 2 years now and we both met when I was 15. Throughout my time with him as his girlfriend I knew something was wrong with his self esteem but I didn't think much of it...
    hannie96 hannie96 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 12

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    I have body dysmorphic disorder

    and it's taking over my life.
    SkinnyLovex SkinnyLovex 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 15, 2014

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    New To Bdd

    My name is Kat and I have had BDD my entire life. I'm finally deciding at the age of 21 to get help for this disorder because it has progressively gotten worse and I never even knew it existed. I wasn't diagnosed until now because I never spoke up about my symptoms since i feel...
    katinthehat3 katinthehat3 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 3, 2012

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    I'm a recovering suicide survivor with BDD

    and severe depression. I think I've got the hang of handling this thing. For anyone who has questions I'd be happy to answer them to the best of my ability.
    YourMayaBear YourMayaBear 16-17, F Mar 6

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    It Gets Better!

    I've suffered with BDD for as long as I can remember. When I was very young I used to draw faces and cut them out, wearing them for days until they became as ugly as I thought I was. I wanted to change everything about myself. My name, my face, my body... to some point? I still...
    ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc 18-21, F Jan 23, 2013

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    I am 21 years old and suffer from body

    dysmorphic disorder. I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I get complimented and told how beautiful I am by people on almost a daily basis, and the people I'm closest to who actually know how insecure about myself don't seem to understand how I could feel the way I do. I...
    tgeex3 tgeex3 18-21 1 Response Oct 22, 2014

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    She's convinced that she is also part he but

    nothings incomplete the charts read that she's just fine just her spine is just a little wide She puts the coffee on the table but catches her reflection, able to see a glimpse of somethings that's admis "No, that's not right!" she cries Those hips too narrow, that bosom too...
    Freak0Zoida Freak0Zoida 26-30, F Feb 4

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    I've been battling with hating myself

    for a very long time, years! And it's all now become too much, it's ruining my relationship.. So I've decide to finally seek help by talking to people with the same problem as me. It's occurred to me before that I may have BDD but I just thought I was being silly and that's what...
    belle87 belle87 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 23, 2014

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    I've been feeling extremely low this weekend.

    I had a bad BDD attack. This was triggered by me taking pictures of myself and looking at them. I break down into tears when I look at pictures of me. I always look so ugly and hideous. Funnily enough the weekend before I went clubbing and was getting lots of male attention and...
    fluffyunicorn fluffyunicorn 18-21, F Jan 4

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    This is one of those stories.

    .I struggled so hard to find a name for this...I always was insecure.Never wanted to take photosNever wanted to have sex (it controlled my love life)Thought i was fatwas constantly looking in the mirror and finding things on my face/body that surgery could hopefully "fix."Hating...
    cbeneath cbeneath 22-25, F 6 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    I've known I have bdd

    for a long time but I have never told my doctors, friends, family because I am afraid if I tell them the flaws I obsess over they will start noticing them more and see how ugly I am. I know it is the real reason for my depression but I don't know how it will ever get better...
    Roseandrea Roseandrea 18-21, F 7 Responses Jun 19, 2014

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    Relationships And Bdd

    I have BDD and my boyfriend of (going on) 2 years knows it's truly real and can take over my day if not my life for weeks on end. I am not sure how he can handle it or how well he really does but he makes a true effort to try to understand where i am coming from and what i see...
    lisra lisra 18-21, F 11 Responses Nov 16, 2010

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    I lost weight. Got the shingles,

    and after medication and some eating , I got fat .... At the gym today I was greeted with : you got fatter by my trainer , did you gain weight by my friend
    Almondface Almondface 31-35 1 Response Sep 18, 2014

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    Facial Hatred

    The vast majority of the time I want to rip my face off. Extreme, yes but I cannot even think about myself without wanting to vomit
    brogues brogues 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 16, 2010

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    Any one else struggling with BDD (Body

    Dysmorphic disorder)? how does it affect you? I don't want to feel so isolated
    CrystallizedxTears CrystallizedxTears 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    I've always been a quiet not

    so secure person since my earliest memories I first discovered my body dysmorphic disorder in 9th grade (3 years ago) I just couldn't go to school my body was telling me no but I didn't know why yet after a few weeks of being house bound I saw true life: I hate my face on MTV...
    highheelsandtattoos highheelsandtattoos 18-21, F Feb 19, 2014

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    Recently I have come to terms with my moderate

    body dysmorphic disorder. I have just realized that it is bad enough that I need to see a professional for help. Not because I have developed an eating disorder or exercise addiction, but because it has resulted in extremely low self-esteem. My low self-esteem has pushed away...
    smilemoonbright smilemoonbright 26-30, F 3 days ago

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    I wish I didn't hate my body

    so much. People tell me that I have nothing to worry about, and I am beautiful. I still find so many things wrong with my body and the way I look. Hopefully, as time goes by, my mentality will change. My husband is very supportive. He and others reassure me of my beauty everyday...
    PreciousAngel27 PreciousAngel27 36-40, F 14 Responses Oct 29, 2014

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    This Is The Worst Disease

    I have been dealing with this for years now, I'm a little ashamed to say but yes I am a man, some man I am, When I was 17 I started to find my flaws because I was curious as to why I was getting such limited attention from women. It was my nose that I was concerned with and its...
    iknowhowyoufeel490 iknowhowyoufeel490 22-25, M 6 Responses May 3, 2012

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    I Am Dying With It, Yet Cant Live Without It.

    It's both frustrating and confusing to know that the world sees a different person when they look at me than I do. A lot of people don't take me seriously when I tell them about my BDD... They either don't believe me, and assume that I'm just seeking some sort of attention, or...
    OblitusAuri OblitusAuri 22-25, F 20 Responses May 1, 2010

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    It feels weird that I've actually gotten to a

    stage where I feel the need to post about this. As I've grown up over the past few years I've become far more aware of how ridiculous many things are - how women are airbrushed to perfection in media, how conventionally attractive people are treated altogether differently from...
    mimimoon mimimoon 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 22, 2013

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