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I Have Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 881 People

    I dread looking in mirrors.

    I hate what I see. I look hideous. I try to tell myself that I'm beautiful everyday to gain some confidence, but I always go back to feeling ugly. My friends, my family and some strangers would say that I'm beautiful, but I just don't see it. I don't see what they see. Is the...
    msladyt757 msladyt757 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 8, 2014

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    It hurts having to get up at 5am every morning,

    to spend 3 hours fully on makeup to only be called 'ugly' that day or not be noticed. It hurts spending loads of money on clothes, to only be told you look weird wearing it. It hurts when people point out your flaws, although you're already fully self conscious of them. It hurts...
    SilkyDoughnut SilkyDoughnut 16-17, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2014

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    I have to wear makeup 24/7,

    even to sleep or else I feel so ugly that depression overwhelms me. Taking a shower gives me a lot of anxiety because I never want my makeup to come off
    Tessasanders Tessasanders 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 27, 2014

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    Facial Assymetry

    I was a very pretty girl. I would get compliments daily. I have long black hair, olive skin and exotic looking. I used to model. I got a bad outbreak of acne in my early 20's. A few months ago, i got silikon 1000 for my acne scarring from a very reputable doctor in New york...
    msmmm msmmm 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 2, 2013

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    (I Do Not Own Anything)

    Mirror, Mirror by xXxHeatherAnnxXx (from devian art) That girl you see, look at her face. Not an imperfection lies in place. Look into her eyes so bright, Look closer, something isn't right. In her distorted mind, this young girl, Dwells a fear that others see mutations, Enough...
    marylight098 marylight098 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    Any one else struggling with BDD (Body

    Dysmorphic disorder)? how does it affect you? I don't want to feel so isolated
    CrystallizedxTears CrystallizedxTears 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    You called her beautiful But she never did hear

    you. Mascara bleeds down Her tear stained cheeks. You brushed your lips on hers Showed her you care Yet her lips still quiver Beneath blotchy cheeks You whisper admiration Cherish her, love her Hoping to fill that gaping void Yet still she’s ‘finding’ her cracks You try to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 27, 2014

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    How Can You Have Bdd and Date?

    Hello, this is my first entry on this site, and I am happy to have found a place where I'm not the only person who feels like this. I have been dealing with BDD since I was 14, or 15. I'm 23 now, and I can honestly say it gets worse with age. I know a lot of ppl say they are...
    remy90 remy90 22-25 24 Responses Jul 6, 2008

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    This is one of those stories.

    .I struggled so hard to find a name for this...I always was insecure.Never wanted to take photosNever wanted to have sex (it controlled my love life)Thought i was fatwas constantly looking in the mirror and finding things on my face/body that surgery could hopefully "fix."Hating...
    cbeneath cbeneath 22-25, F 6 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    21 male, just finished University.

    Always been a self conscious person, looked extremely young until about 16 and still look younger than my age. Always had this obsession with my face and hair and constantly have to touch and look in any reflection, which I know is an odd thing to do. People think it's vanity...
    hewitt101 hewitt101 22-25, M 3 days ago

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    My name jay I suffer from body dismorhic

    for 2years now I wanted to get breast implants but I tried breast pill instead I became quite I'll after that I suffered body dismorhic I felt hideous and deformed I thought the tablets did somethink to me, living in fear with my demonds can't look in the mirrow. Life been a...
    jadeygrz jadeygrz 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 9

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    New To Bdd

    My name is Kat and I have had BDD my entire life. I'm finally deciding at the age of 21 to get help for this disorder because it has progressively gotten worse and I never even knew it existed. I wasn't diagnosed until now because I never spoke up about my symptoms since i feel...
    katinthehat3 katinthehat3 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 3, 2012

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    I am convinced I am hideous.

    I spend hours putting on makeup throughout the day and constantly check myself in the mirror. I spend so much time obsessing about my face being even (makeup wise) and always worrying about how it looks/what other people think of it. It's annoying because I have a good figure...
    pageee pageee 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 7

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    Okay, so I don't personally have Body

    Dysmorphic Disorder but I have a boyfriend who does. We're both 18 years old and have been together for almost 2 years now and we both met when I was 15. Throughout my time with him as his girlfriend I knew something was wrong with his self esteem but I didn't think much of it...
    hannie96 hannie96 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 12

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    I know I'm not severely obese

    nor overweight at all but it's like my eyes don't want me to see the real me with my body. All I see is fat literally everywhere and I feel like I'm getting bigger every single day. I've recovered from anorexia with bulimic tendencies and I'm eating correctly and exercising but...
    blossomingMe blossomingMe 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 24, 2014

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    I was reading an anxiety book to help me get

    through my anxiety when it said about BDD and it turns out I have it which is causing me social anxiety since I was a little kid. just great...and its getting worse with the way I look at my body too. the only thing I like about myself is my personality and thats it.
    ShadowWolf01 ShadowWolf01 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 5

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    I've been battling with hating myself

    for a very long time, years! And it's all now become too much, it's ruining my relationship.. So I've decide to finally seek help by talking to people with the same problem as me. It's occurred to me before that I may have BDD but I just thought I was being silly and that's what...
    belle87 belle87 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 23, 2014

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    Facial Hatred

    The vast majority of the time I want to rip my face off. Extreme, yes but I cannot even think about myself without wanting to vomit
    brogues brogues 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 16, 2010

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    Today my BDD is acting up extremely bad,

    I hate mirrors and I feel completely fat. I hate this constant feeling of sadness hurt, fatness and ugliness. I really wish I didn't have BDD it's the only thing that runs through my head from the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes. I don't want to take meds I need...
    TattedPrincess89 TattedPrincess89 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 16, 2014

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    What it is like to be the only ugly woman.

    Every time I see any random woman anywhere, I think of things that people close to her might love about her. Maybe it's the way her eyes light up when she finds something interesting. Maybe it's how great she looks in her pink floral skirt, hugging her curves perfectly. Maybe...
    brriittttaannyy brriittttaannyy 16-17, F 5 Responses Apr 14

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    I had this really bad

    but I overcame it, it may seem impossible but it is possible! Don't be afraid to speak out about it!
    wheelsxoxo wheelsxoxo 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    I lost a ton of weight,

    I felt like I was looking good. But I don't have perfect pecs and I think my head is too big. I also always feel like when I eat non healthy food my face gets fatter. I know I sound like a girl, it's hard to say this to people. I know people don't notice the changes I notice...
    tomcunnington tomcunnington 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 10, 2014

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    It Gets Better!

    I've suffered with BDD for as long as I can remember. When I was very young I used to draw faces and cut them out, wearing them for days until they became as ugly as I thought I was. I wanted to change everything about myself. My name, my face, my body... to some point? I still...
    ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc 18-21, F Jan 23, 2013

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    I've been feeling extremely low this weekend.

    I had a bad BDD attack. This was triggered by me taking pictures of myself and looking at them. I break down into tears when I look at pictures of me. I always look so ugly and hideous. Funnily enough the weekend before I went clubbing and was getting lots of male attention and...
    fluffyunicorn fluffyunicorn 18-21, F Jan 4

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    I have always had issues with myself

    for as long as I can remember. My weight is terrible (doesn't help I have had anorexia and relapsed into EDNOS though I am over weight), I hate my hair, I hate my boobs, my arms, my legs, my stomach - everything. I constantly try change my appearance searching for that...
    OnyxHeart OnyxHeart 18-21, F Jan 15

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    I have suffered from this

    for years. But every time I try to talk with anyone about how bad I feel because I hate my boobs or any other part I may be focused on, they will dismiss my feelings as if my feelings don't matter! I have been told to grow up, that I don't have any real problems if something...
    kcyata kcyata 41-45, F 2 Responses Jun 10

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    I tend to focus on different things at

    different times, because I really don't like anything about my looks. But today I am completely disgusted by my mouth. I have these marionette lines so I always look like I'm frowning. I hate it! I look so horribly old!! Worst of all my husband says not to worry about it...
    kcyata kcyata 41-45, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I've always been a quiet not

    so secure person since my earliest memories I first discovered my body dysmorphic disorder in 9th grade (3 years ago) I just couldn't go to school my body was telling me no but I didn't know why yet after a few weeks of being house bound I saw true life: I hate my face on MTV...
    highheelsandtattoos highheelsandtattoos 18-21, F Feb 19, 2014

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    I'm doing a project. I need words associated

    with body image problems tht I can write on my body. For example, fat, ugly, thigh gap, depressed. Please help me come up with more words!
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 15

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    I'm a recovering suicide survivor with BDD

    and severe depression. I think I've got the hang of handling this thing. For anyone who has questions I'd be happy to answer them to the best of my ability.
    YourMayaBear YourMayaBear 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 6

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    I look at myself, and I see garbage.

    A pile of ugliness. If someone snaps a picture of me, it ends with me sobbing, or yelling at them without them knowing what they did wrong. School pictures leave me a wreck. Think of all the people who will flip to that page and point me out, laughing about how hideous I am...
    Junebug249 Junebug249 13-15, F Jun 8

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    Today I'm supposed to go to my dance practice

    but I don't want to leave the house. I finally thought I felt good about my body but reminiscing last night of all the fat shaming my mum has done to me made me remember things. And now I hate looking at the mirror I don't want to. I look fat and stupid honestly. I know I'm more...
    MusicalGirl24 MusicalGirl24 13-15, F Mar 15

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    It Starts Off Cute Trying To Be Little Miss Perfect... Then It Gets Ugly.

    I'm 17 years old, and I've always been depicted as a perfectionist, perfect grades, handwriting, anything i could learn i would make sure i became "perfect" at it. However, the thing i cannot learn is how to accept the unsymmetrical flaws in my face + body. I hate the flaws, i...
    MissLorii MissLorii 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2013

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    This Is The Worst Disease

    I have been dealing with this for years now, I'm a little ashamed to say but yes I am a man, some man I am, When I was 17 I started to find my flaws because I was curious as to why I was getting such limited attention from women. It was my nose that I was concerned with and its...
    iknowhowyoufeel490 iknowhowyoufeel490 22-25, M 6 Responses May 3, 2012

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    It feels weird that I've actually gotten to a

    stage where I feel the need to post about this. As I've grown up over the past few years I've become far more aware of how ridiculous many things are - how women are airbrushed to perfection in media, how conventionally attractive people are treated altogether differently from...
    mimimoon mimimoon 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 22, 2013

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    She's convinced that she is also part he but

    nothings incomplete the charts read that she's just fine just her spine is just a little wide She puts the coffee on the table but catches her reflection, able to see a glimpse of somethings that's admis "No, that's not right!" she cries Those hips too narrow, that bosom too...
    Freak0Zoida Freak0Zoida 26-30, F Feb 4

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    I am 21 years old and suffer from body

    dysmorphic disorder. I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I get complimented and told how beautiful I am by people on almost a daily basis, and the people I'm closest to who actually know how insecure about myself don't seem to understand how I could feel the way I do. I...
    tgeex3 tgeex3 22-25 1 Response Oct 22, 2014

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    I have never gone a full day without eating at

    least something. The other day, Ana took over my mind so badly I decided I wasn't gonna eat at all for 24 hours. I went all day without eating. At work I pretended I woke up late so I couldn't pack a lunch. That night my fiancé and I were out and he asked if I wanted to go out...
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli 22-25, F Jan 19

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    Recently I have come to terms with my moderate

    body dysmorphic disorder. I have just realized that it is bad enough that I need to see a professional for help. Not because I have developed an eating disorder or exercise addiction, but because it has resulted in extremely low self-esteem. My low self-esteem has pushed away...
    smilemoonbright smilemoonbright 26-30, F Mar 27

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    What's to hate.. Everything from head to toe.

    Missing those days when as a little kid it did not affect me of what I looked like or what I eat. Now I wish I would've taken care of myself. I am not the age where I should be lazy but it's hard living in depression over my bodyily issues. Everyone is bound to have an answer to...
    VenomOfMadrid VenomOfMadrid 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 23

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    I have never been diagnosed,

    but I'm sure I have this along with depression and anxiety. I came across this blog and decided to post to see if anyone can relate. Okay, so. Most of the time I'm satisfied with the way I look in person (in real life, when I look in the mirror). However, it's when I take...
    flusteredbunny flusteredbunny 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    I am an almost 21 year old female.

    5'7" and 115 pounds. I have struggled with severe self esteem issues for years, basically my whole adolescent and teenage life and since I was around 18, it has gotten progressively worse. It wasn't until the last year at a half or so that I self diagnosed myself with Body...
    Iambekah Iambekah 18-21, F Oct 20, 2014

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    I've just been diagnosed with BDD.

    It sucks. I obsess over how white my teeth are, how my hair looks, what clothes I wear, etc. I worry that when people see me, they see the frizzy hair, the acne, my not-so-white teeth. I also obsess with how skinny I am. I see myself as being extremely underweight and I'm always...
    killyourhero killyourhero 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 1, 2014

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    I hate my body. And the crazy part is,

    people tell me I'm hot all the time. I just don't see it. When I look in the mirror, all I see is how fat I look. It makes me really depressed sometimes. I consider becoming anorexic a lot. If I don't eat, then I won't feel discusting. I know it bad not to eat and it will just...
    Tiffanyportelli Tiffanyportelli 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 17, 2014

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    BDD destroyed my hopes,

    dreams, everything. I never felt good enough for anyone. I was ashamed of my nose. I would stare in the mirror for hours, cry and scream "Why was I born? I'm so ugly I will never be loved!" I got fed up I couldn't live live like this any longer (7 yrs). I turned this anger into...
    AshyleeTheLittleBunny AshyleeTheLittleBunny 22-25, F 6 Responses Jun 13

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    I've just been diagnosed with BDD.

    I find it hard to accept because I look at photos of myself and think NAH IM JUST UGLY. Anyone been diagnosed that think that?
    megpeg megpeg 22-25, F 5 Responses May 19

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