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I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,522 People

    nessa88 nessa88 26-30, F May 16

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    today is the worst day ever!

    ! :'( my paranois is really starting to hit me hard I just wanna break down..I hate feeling like this not good enough I hate having these thoughts in my head...I just wanna escape...
    DalaKumono DalaKumono 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    vishar vishar 18-21, M 1 Response May 14

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    im not sure i have bpd

    but this is the best category i could think to post in. i feel like a sheet of paper. blank. i emulate other people and fictional characters but they dont represent me. i feel like i am nothing. i... dont know how to explain myself
    gemmed gemmed 13-15, F 1 Response May 20

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    my borderline seems to differ in alot of ways

    from the experiences I'm reading. i have other issues that help to form this mess in my head but i dont identify with the normal discription of BPD.....i internalize everything. im not into manipulating others..myself...yea, i have to to get stuff done. i do have server...
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 2 Responses May 11

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    I hate how I can feel a sad episode coming on

    yet there is nothing I can do to stop it from coming.
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 7, 2014

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    Ah,so shared vision turns out my founder is

    delusional.He wants this grand idea of a vision to be executed and cant even put a ******* business plan. Meanwhile he is derailing all my ideas as lame,won't work,blah blah,and taking ones he likes to talk to specific mentors who will give him intel who will then mysteriously...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 1 Response May 13

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    Borderline Are Extremely Intelligence And Creative.

    Borderline are extremely intelligence and creative. We struggle to create and give birth to ourselves through our work and intellectual pursuit instead of mundane (...) normal people standards. Everyday, Every Night, we splinted and twisted into multiple personalities that...
    triratna triratna 31-35 3 Responses Oct 5, 2013

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    I realize now how much having borderline

    personality puts a damper on your relationships. It makes everything feel so unstable. And it's like I am scared to lose anybody in my life, that I try too hard to make them stay and it ends up having the opposite effect. I used to think I was more than my mental illness. But I...
    KairiKipling KairiKipling 18-21, F 1 Response May 18

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    I am have been diagnosed

    as with borderline personality disorder last year.Such a relief.I think I have had it for 10 years and have inherited it from my mother.Who I forgive,If she goes through that much emotional pain as me,I forgive her. We tend to bear more than we can actually take.Very few people...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 9

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    Rev #1 Normal

    Normal? Normal: A self-created standard in the American household. Is there any idea left such as this? It was as if I craved nothing more than to be considered as so. It has no meaning left to someone in a world so full of ever-changing standards. In my mind I was far from the...
    LostInBPD LostInBPD 22-25, M 9 Responses Feb 6, 2013

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    Okay,so saw fatal attraction,

    and let me put out some stuff,as a bpd sufferer myself,I will never do,and it is very unlikely most average bpd people might. 1.I love animals.Absolutely love them,I was traumatized when she boiled that thing.I would never,ever,I mean ,come on! 2. I would never ,have never even...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    One of the hardest things about it is not

    really knowing who yiu truly are
    yesiigarciaa yesiigarciaa 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 25, 2014

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    Alone With Bpd

    I was just recently diagnosed with BPD after a third suicide attempt. I was diagnosed as Bipolar considering my father was Bipolar and shot himself a few years ago. I am 26 years old and so far my life has been filled with pain no matter how much I try to fight it. I have been on...
    lissa lissa 46-50, F 11 Responses Jun 15, 2007

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    i am afraid of people.

    ..being around them, talkng to them... is anyone else this way? if so...how do you deal with it?
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F May 15

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    SoulSearcherLover SoulSearcherLover 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    i need to vent im feeling funny

    and screwed this is scarying me ihav eno energy no nothing i need to kick a ball no i nee dto kick people i dont know wha tim feeling im disconnected from em im feeling so screwed up that i could off myself right now
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 6 days ago

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    To all the people who look down on,

    degrade and ridicule people with BPD I would like to invite you to come walk a mile in our shoes!
    Yu12 Yu12 26-30, M 4 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    Update....

    To all borderliners,I feel compelled to write to you, but what I want to say isn't clear yet in my head.  I'm just going to go with it.  Bear with me.For a couple of weeks I've been getting dialectical behaviour therapy, this is similar to CBT in as much as it teaches you...
    charlie248 charlie248 36-40, F 33 Responses May 8, 2012

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    I'M Scared.

    I'm having trouble figuring myself out, who I am or what I want to be. I'm trying to make friends and keep them and have something more than what I know I'm not happy with now. I'm very depressed, I'm confused, I'm unable to see the positive side of things. It's scaring me...
    Iyric Iyric 18-21, F 24 Responses Feb 5, 2013

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    Anyone else have that one person in your life

    that you try to avoid because she triggers every emotion you try to bottle up? Her very presence ignites the most intense BPD emotions I've ever felt and somehow I can't get her out of my head.
    tribe1855 tribe1855 22-25, M 4 Responses May 10

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    sometimes i hate being on her enot you guys i

    have to force myself to i feel like crap nothing helps so much pain i want to give up i feel lost and i dont know waht im tired of people hurting ot abusing me i want peopel like that pay they are bad people i wan tto i feel ldea dand poison insid ei know i put myself to the...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I just have to accept the fact

    that no guy is ever gonna want to keep me around. I used to say I live for love, and now i don't know what the **** I live for. Life is one ****** up cycle of ****** up **** happening in ****** up orders because of ****** up circumstances and everything is ******. And I feel...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 10 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    Well, I did it again.

    I let my thoughts bubble up into a fit of rage. I am so bitter and cold today. It all started this morning. Waking up , realizing this is it for now. I am stuck at home almost always. This doesn't bother me everyday because I love being a full time mom. What I don't love is...
    ashless ashless 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    Positive traits of those with BPD: 1.

    Passionate-experience extreme intensity of passion when we find something that interests us 2. Individual-strongly cultivate our individuality and enjoy applying our abilities to new tasks 3. Spontaneous-we live in the moment doing whatever it is we feel we want to do at that...
    kavlynn99 kavlynn99 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    I NEED TO VENT IM FEELING CRAPPY IM TIRED AND

    WORN OUT AS THEDAY HASNT BEGUN YET I HAVENT SLEPT A WEEK I HAVE TO GO TO MENTAL HEALTH I FEEL LIKEI JUST DONT WANT TO GO O I LOATHE GOING THERE AS I DONT GET NOTHING OUT OF IT IM FRICKEN ANGRY THAT I LOST MY FATHER IM ALSO FEELING REALLY SCRED MY BASCK HURTS I HURT IM ALLOWE DTO...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 2 days ago

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    I can't have normal relationships.

    Any good relationship I get myself into, I end up becoming destructive and craving intensity. I don't like nice guys, nice girls. I want something stupid and impulsive and ridiculously intense
    borderlineeverything borderlineeverything 16-17, F 1 Response May 10

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    I just hate feeling so alone

    but also feeling like its my fault.
    SoulSearcherLover SoulSearcherLover 18-21, F May 17

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    himenoko143 himenoko143 18-21, F 1 Response May 11

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    I'm really trying this time

    but if he does not walk out the door and leave me eventually he will die. So either way he will leave me.
    SirsKnottyGirl SirsKnottyGirl 26-30, F 1 Response May 13

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    Right now any time there is mention of death,

    my brain goes "that's a great idea, let's die, you want to die" which is highly unhelpful when you're trying to be happy. Why do I have to be like this?
    Ambernonymous Ambernonymous 18-21, F 2 Responses May 14

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    Escape From Borderland

       I wrote an essay on borderline personality disorder awhile ago, I hope it helps some of you. I realize that it's kind of long but I included some information as well as my experience with it. Enjoy!!      A person...
    Skyyyy Skyyyy 18-21, F 24 Responses Jun 16, 2010

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    Over time I've realised

    that BPD has made me a Chameleon. I change my colours depending on who I'm with. I've done this for as long as I can remember. I've realised that I don't do this because I want to impress people or to get people to like me but because of 2 reasons, 1) so people can't get too...
    LewisCollins LewisCollins 31-35 4 Responses Jul 7, 2014

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    wher eis everyone i feel like im carrying the

    world inside i feel like i cabt do this anymor ei went to the foodbank today walked alot and worke din friends store when im not well im tired i feel like i dont wan to grow up i just cant do this anymor e what do i do
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 1 Response May 19

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    I'm scared to be in friendships

    or relationships because I turn into an emotionally manipulative codependent mess and I don't want to ruin anybody
    borderlineeverything borderlineeverything 16-17, F May 15

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    Some Ppl Shouldn't Be Here

    OK....I am starting to realize that some people on this page shouldn't be here. This is not a joke. It is where some of us who really need to get advice and release pain,to turn to for strength and support. This group is callled "I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER." . If you...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 8 Responses Sep 5, 2012

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    So an interesting thing was brought up to me.

    .. We tend to focus so much on the downside of BPD we don't often see the positive things. We're passionate, creative, to the point, individualistic, protective of others, empathetic, forgiving, full of love, loyal, and never boring. Of course each of these may not apply to...
    EngulfingBreeze EngulfingBreeze 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 3, 2014

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    Like the Hoover Dam Collapsed...

    I have no idea how long I have had BPD, but I've known what it was for eight years now. I started working to fix myself from that moment on. For about five years, I have felt like it was completely under control. But then yesterday was a bad day. Subjectively I can look at it...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 45 Responses Apr 1, 2008

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    Borderline Personality Disorder.

    People with borderline personality disorder are unstable in several areas, including interpersonal relationships, behavior, mood, and self-image. Abrupt and extreme mood changes, stormy interpersonal relationships, an unstable and fluctuating self-image, unpredictable and self...
    ReachingNirvana ReachingNirvana 22-25, M 5 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    Is anyone else a "quiet borderline?

    " I'm an introvert, which makes it kind of hard to relate to other bpd sufferers sometimes. Many people (especially family members) underestimate my emotional instability because I turn it all inward (most of the time) I was just wondering if anyone has a similar issue.
    SlothSweater SlothSweater 13-15, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Does anyone else constantly feel like you're

    not good enough, not important enough, not loved enough when you're in a relationship, even if the person you're with does all they can to show you otherwise? I have this feeling of desperation that I can't let go of.. He has so many friends and he's always so busy, and I just...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 12 Responses Apr 23

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    I've Noticed Something...

    That infuriates me to the core. (Isn't uncontrollable anger a symptom? Hahaaaaaa, I don't care.) It seems that whenever BPD is brought up by someone who does not have it or has witnessed emotionally distraught/unstable people that do have BPD, it's always "Run for the hills! They...
    AmandaMarlee AmandaMarlee 18-21, F 6 Responses May 12, 2013

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    BPD. A disorder that is relatively common,

    but can ruin a life in a matter of months. My life was ruined, but a lot of people don't understand how. I have no friends, and have been in multiple abusive situations. Verbal and sexual. Do you know whats it's like to have to explain to people when they ask about the scar...
    annfgates annfgates 18-21, F 7 Responses Feb 8, 2014

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    It sucks. If you even feel a tinge of

    abandonment, you turn into this insecure, self-destructive monster. You start fights or start thinking that it'll never end & everyone will leave. You start wondering if you're even good enough. I hate it. I hate this feeling.
    Susananais Susananais 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    I'm sorry. I'm sorry

    that you have to go through BPD And I'm sorry I have to go through BPD It's not easy at all. And it's hard for people to understand that what we do, or how we feel, it very hard for us to control. I'm sorry, you don't deserve to live with BPD I'm sorry, I don't deserve to live...
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F 1 Response May 24, 2014

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    My borderline is getting worse these few days.

    I have sort of over dosing on anxiety pills.Between the trade off of being in extreme pain,and being somewhat okay I chose whatever sense of sanity I get.But I am on 6 pills a day nowadays.I need to find real life substitutes.Hey,at least I am not suicidal. I hate letting people...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses May 17

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