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I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,667 People

    "To love is a dangerous path

    for me." —Michael (Me)
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Do any of you guys find yourself easily

    obsessed with subjects, ppl, objects. places ect. ??
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    So an interesting thing was brought up to me.

    .. We tend to focus so much on the downside of BPD we don't often see the positive things. We're passionate, creative, to the point, individualistic, protective of others, empathetic, forgiving, full of love, loyal, and never boring. Of course each of these may not apply to...
    WindsomeFlurry WindsomeFlurry 26-30 6 Responses Apr 3, 2014

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    I'm sorry. I'm sorry

    that you have to go through BPD And I'm sorry I have to go through BPD It's not easy at all. And it's hard for people to understand that what we do, or how we feel, it very hard for us to control. I'm sorry, you don't deserve to live with BPD I'm sorry, I don't deserve to live...
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F 1 Response May 24, 2014

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    Some Ppl Shouldn't Be Here

    OK....I am starting to realize that some people on this page shouldn't be here. This is not a joke. It is where some of us who really need to get advice and release pain,to turn to for strength and support. This group is callled "I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER." . If you...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 9 Responses Sep 5, 2012

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    OMG emotional roller coaster im

    so fucken drained. I was obviously to happy/manic today n now here comes the come down grrr!!!!. im so mad upset n exausted at the same time. can you seriously not just let me be happy for 1 whole day!!!!
    LJglasgow LJglasgow 26-30, F 6 Responses Aug 18

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    Update....

    To all borderliners,I feel compelled to write to you, but what I want to say isn't clear yet in my head.  I'm just going to go with it.  Bear with me.For a couple of weeks I've been getting dialectical behaviour therapy, this is similar to CBT in as much as it teaches you...
    charlie248 charlie248 36-40, F 32 Responses May 8, 2012

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    I hate how I can feel a sad episode coming on

    yet there is nothing I can do to stop it from coming.
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 7, 2014

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    The Joyful Life of a Borderline/sociopath.

    I live in a world where everyone is a cardboard cutout, a puppet, a means to an end, a fling to be discarded, a way to find connection, to plaster-over the lonelyness of my irreperable disconnection from mankind. I'm a borderline, but I'm also a sociopath. It's a really weird...
    Phage Phage 26-30, F 143 Responses Feb 18, 2009

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    I hate my husband today!

    I wish he would pay for what he has done.
    arachmichel arachmichel 26-30, F 3 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Im struggling with self harm

    and anxiety. All while being recently diagnosed with bpd and dealing with being gay, there's so much going on. Sometimes i get so over whelmed by everything. Its like anything can push me over the edge.
    thatonekid07 thatonekid07 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 18

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    I just have to accept the fact

    that no guy is ever gonna want to keep me around. I used to say I live for love, and now i don't know what the **** I live for. Life is one ****** up cycle of ****** up **** happening in ****** up orders because of ****** up circumstances and everything is ******. And I feel...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 9 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    Question- has anyone found any good coping

    strategies that help them deal with BPD ?
    LJglasgow LJglasgow 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 20

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    I hate this feelings.

    Idk what's triggering all these bad feelings in me today but I wish I never woke up from my sleep. I just wanna be alone but I wanna talk. I feel hatred but then again I don't. I wanna hit something but I don't wanna hurt anything myself.~ I just wanna cry and vent but I really...
    xMellowButterflyx xMellowButterflyx 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I'M Scared.

    I'm having trouble figuring myself out, who I am or what I want to be. I'm trying to make friends and keep them and have something more than what I know I'm not happy with now. I'm very depressed, I'm confused, I'm unable to see the positive side of things. It's scaring me...
    Iyric Iyric 18-21, F 24 Responses Feb 5, 2013

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    In the past month, a lot has happened.

    I'll warn you in advance that this is a long post, but I think it might help some of you to feel less alone. I hope it does. So. I dated a guy named Shawn for about 5 months last year. One day, he told me he had been talking about our relationship problems with his female...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 6 Responses May 10

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    Nothingness!!! I woke up to flat,

    numb, nothingness. As much as I hate being manic or on a really bad low I think id rather have either of them right now. This feeling or lack of feeling I really cant handle, I hate this and I dont know how to deal with it!!!
    LJglasgow LJglasgow 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 24

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    I am (almost can't believe it) peaceful

    since yesterday night and today.I am usually a lot of emotions,but never peaceful,never.The instances where I have been peaceful,I can probably count them on my fingers.Usually peace in me ,is replaced by emptiness,hollowness,and a yearning for something i don't understand,like...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 3

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    Yeah I remember why I don't let myself feel

    for ppl. Ppl will always cause you pain. It's best to just wall yourself up and stay in your cell alone and lonely. It's a duller pain. Anyone else feel this way??
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Do any of you (those with borderline) find you

    feel like you have to be in a relationship?? You're always on the prowl for one? For me I'm this way big time. If I sense a relationship is ending, by my hands or the others, I make sure I have a back up relationship. This time I feel lost because I'm having a hard time...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 3 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    I think because of bpd,

    when I experience any thoughts of judgments against myself, they are magnified by ten. The father of my three children is engaged to be married. I want to be genuinely happy for him because he is a good father and man. My thoughts are attacking each other. Half my thoughts...
    ms5271115 ms5271115 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    I have not been diagnosed officially,

    but both my psycholigist and psychiatrist believe that I have a personality disorder. My psycholigist thinks it may be Bi-Polar II but does not want to make a diagnosis until I am through the grieving process. Reading up on and looking at the boards on various sites and reading...
    Myzery Myzery 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 21

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    I first started to notice I wasn't 'normal'

    when I was 14 years old. I would flip out so quickly over small things, and I don't mean just have a temper tantrum.. I would break things, punch walls, scream, scratch myself and pull my hair out. It was like I wasn't in my body and couldn't control it. I then started to drink...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I was diagnosed with bpd over a year ago.

    I am currently dealing with a flood of self judgment after finding out my kids father is engaged now I am struggling to not make this about me. I can't even type right now because I have a lot of distractions around me and in my mind. This too shall pass.
    ms5271115 ms5271115 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    How do you deal with getting pushed away?

    It's hard to even survive those moments.
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 2 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Over time I've realised

    that BPD has made me a Chameleon. I change my colours depending on who I'm with. I've done this for as long as I can remember. I've realised that I don't do this because I want to impress people or to get people to like me but because of 2 reasons, 1) so people can't get too...
    LewisCollins LewisCollins 31-35 4 Responses Jul 7, 2014

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    This is a lil excerpt from a comment I made.

    "you can over come it. its a matter of retraining ur brain. and reassuring urself. what ur experiencing is probably not real.like for instance she he said he'd call back in 10 mins and now its been an hr. and our thoughts start thinking. "oh god he's tired of me. he doesn't...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Alone With Bpd

    I was just recently diagnosed with BPD after a third suicide attempt. I was diagnosed as Bipolar considering my father was Bipolar and shot himself a few years ago. I am 26 years old and so far my life has been filled with pain no matter how much I try to fight it. I have been on...
    lissa lissa 46-50, F 11 Responses Jun 15, 2007

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    Borderline Are Extremely Intelligence And Creative.

    Borderline are extremely intelligence and creative. We struggle to create and give birth to ourselves through our work and intellectual pursuit instead of mundane (...) normal people standards. Everyday, Every Night, we splinted and twisted into multiple personalities that...
    triratna triratna 31-35 3 Responses Oct 5, 2013

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    If you want to what Borderline Personality

    feels like watch the links below. It'll give you an inside look. Watch "Borderline Personality Disorder - What it feels like" on YouTube - https://youtu.be/PzpIzXShHeg Watch "Borderline Personality Disorder" on YouTube - https://youtu.be/KeQuZyTkyFw
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 1 Response a week ago

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    So like I've noticed

    that through out myself, especially as I've gotten older, I have gotten very terrified about ppl leaving me. Which is of course the abandonment issues with our disorder, something I never understood until recently. I'm realizing if someone can give me a plan and stick with it...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 24

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    I think one of the hardest parts about 'having

    borderline' (I say it like this because you are of course not defined by it) is that you have this chronic feeling of inadequacy. This of course makes you prone to being jealous and obsessive. I absolutely hate it....I never want to ever get into a relationship again as I know...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 24

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    Rev #1 Normal

    Normal? Normal: A self-created standard in the American household. Is there any idea left such as this? It was as if I craved nothing more than to be considered as so. It has no meaning left to someone in a world so full of ever-changing standards. In my mind I was far from the...
    LostInBPD LostInBPD 22-25, M 10 Responses Feb 6, 2013

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    My mother and her family emotionally abused me

    until I was in my early twenties. Therefore I often feel worthless, like I was born a bad person, and that no one likes/cares about me. I was diagnosed almost 9 years ago. My older sister was borderline and killed herself 6 years ago. BPD sucks and I'm really tired of losing...
    OnyxOrOrion OnyxOrOrion 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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    Those of us who suffer BPD know

    where hell really is. It's inside us. No escaping the agony, pain and torture. No reprieve. It's in every moment of our day, our dreams and our thoughts. It infects everything. It controls everything. It poisons every aspect of our life. It must be the loneliest condition there...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 4 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    Does anyone else constantly feel like you're

    not good enough, not important enough, not loved enough when you're in a relationship, even if the person you're with does all they can to show you otherwise? I have this feeling of desperation that I can't let go of.. He has so many friends and he's always so busy, and I just...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 11 Responses Apr 23

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    I've Noticed Something...

    That infuriates me to the core. (Isn't uncontrollable anger a symptom? Hahaaaaaa, I don't care.) It seems that whenever BPD is brought up by someone who does not have it or has witnessed emotionally distraught/unstable people that do have BPD, it's always "Run for the hills! They...
    AmandaMarlee AmandaMarlee 18-21, F 6 Responses May 12, 2013

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    I have had so much to be ungrateful

    and so very little to be thankful for.. I am living in a world where i am not in control.. I hate everything about my stupid illness and i cant seem to get away from it.. To get away from my mind that seems to take everything from me.. Look at me? Can you look me in the eye and...
    xxcaylaxx xxcaylaxx 16-17, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I hate this ******* disorder!

    I hate getting attached to people, I hate feeling lonely and unwanted, I hate being so needy. I just want someone to look after me but my social anxiety is so bad and I get so irritated with people that I feel like I'll never even make friends.
    princesabecca princesabecca 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 16

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    It sucks. If you even feel a tinge of

    abandonment, you turn into this insecure, self-destructive monster. You start fights or start thinking that it'll never end & everyone will leave. You start wondering if you're even good enough. I hate it. I hate this feeling.
    Susananais Susananais 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Tattooedgirl864 Tattooedgirl864 31-35 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    i dont feel like writng

    as nothing seems to help im having trouble getting up to face the day dont feel like showering yesterday was different the nothing helps i feel nothing i geel like nothing so lonely i feel likeim stubborn just dont want to the work anymor eits too hard im tired of this anyone...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Aug 23

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    I was just in emotion mind RAGE,

    ANGER.. everyone in my path got a taste of it and I didn't care. I get fed up with being ran all over sometimes and I explode! People need to learn to stay away from me when Im in that state. I feel kinda bad now.
    ms5271115 ms5271115 36-40, F Aug 24

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    Borderline Personality Disorder.

    People with borderline personality disorder are unstable in several areas, including interpersonal relationships, behavior, mood, and self-image. Abrupt and extreme mood changes, stormy interpersonal relationships, an unstable and fluctuating self-image, unpredictable and self...
    ReachingNirvana ReachingNirvana 22-25, M 5 Responses