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I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,661 People

    I'M Scared.

    I'm having trouble figuring myself out, who I am or what I want to be. I'm trying to make friends and keep them and have something more than what I know I'm not happy with now. I'm very depressed, I'm confused, I'm unable to see the positive side of things. It's scaring me...
    Iyric Iyric 18-21, F 24 Responses Feb 5, 2013

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    you make me feel like hell could be a relief

    from all the grief and the abandonment and the loss that i feel from you.
    angiede angiede 26-30, F Aug 12

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    Question- has anyone found any good coping

    strategies that help them deal with BPD ?
    LJglasgow LJglasgow 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 20

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    Borderline Are Extremely Intelligence And Creative.

    Borderline are extremely intelligence and creative. We struggle to create and give birth to ourselves through our work and intellectual pursuit instead of mundane (...) normal people standards. Everyday, Every Night, we splinted and twisted into multiple personalities that...
    triratna triratna 31-35 3 Responses Oct 5, 2013

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    Alone With Bpd

    I was just recently diagnosed with BPD after a third suicide attempt. I was diagnosed as Bipolar considering my father was Bipolar and shot himself a few years ago. I am 26 years old and so far my life has been filled with pain no matter how much I try to fight it. I have been on...
    lissa lissa 46-50, F 11 Responses Jun 15, 2007

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    I hate how I can feel a sad episode coming on

    yet there is nothing I can do to stop it from coming.
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 7, 2014

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    two days ago i was ready to divorce my husband.

    this am, he made love to me and i loved it. i don't want a divorce. i want security. i don't want to talk to anyone else in the mornings but him but i also don't want to have to worry how the mortgage will be paid. it sucks to have such a biological need for security but then...
    LITVET LITVET 41-45, F 3 days ago

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    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow 18-21, T Aug 8

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    I was recently "diagnosed,

    " meaning my psychiatrist and therapists and family and friends and I all unanimously came to the conclusion that this is my official diagnosis. Only I'm 17 and you have to be 18 to be diagnosed. Either way, I've struggled with this for a long time; I was born with what my mom...
    lovelyrice lovelyrice 16-17, T Aug 7

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    One of the hardest things about it is not

    really knowing who yiu truly are
    yesiigarciaa yesiigarciaa 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 25, 2014

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    would it be a good idea to meet other BPD?

    after I learn that I hv BPD, I found that I am not the only one.. but every one seems to be just a online name.. never knew anyone around me who has it.. how real could these people be? i just feel so alone..
    arachmichel arachmichel 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 12

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    Update....

    To all borderliners,I feel compelled to write to you, but what I want to say isn't clear yet in my head.  I'm just going to go with it.  Bear with me.For a couple of weeks I've been getting dialectical behaviour therapy, this is similar to CBT in as much as it teaches you...
    charlie248 charlie248 36-40, F 32 Responses May 8, 2012

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    craigslist504 craigslist504 36-40 Aug 18

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    I'm sorry. I'm sorry

    that you have to go through BPD And I'm sorry I have to go through BPD It's not easy at all. And it's hard for people to understand that what we do, or how we feel, it very hard for us to control. I'm sorry, you don't deserve to live with BPD I'm sorry, I don't deserve to live...
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F 1 Response May 24, 2014

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    Like the Hoover Dam Collapsed...

    I have no idea how long I have had BPD, but I've known what it was for eight years now. I started working to fix myself from that moment on. For about five years, I have felt like it was completely under control. But then yesterday was a bad day. Subjectively I can look at it...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 45 Responses Apr 1, 2008

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    "To love is a dangerous path

    for me." —Michael (Me)
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    So like I've noticed

    that through out myself, especially as I've gotten older, I have gotten very terrified about ppl leaving me. Which is of course the abandonment issues with our disorder, something I never understood until recently. I'm realizing if someone can give me a plan and stick with it...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I have not been diagnosed officially,

    but both my psycholigist and psychiatrist believe that I have a personality disorder. My psycholigist thinks it may be Bi-Polar II but does not want to make a diagnosis until I am through the grieving process. Reading up on and looking at the boards on various sites and reading...
    Myzery Myzery 31-35, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I just have to accept the fact

    that no guy is ever gonna want to keep me around. I used to say I live for love, and now i don't know what the **** I live for. Life is one ****** up cycle of ****** up **** happening in ****** up orders because of ****** up circumstances and everything is ******. And I feel...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 9 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 10

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    Im struggling with self harm

    and anxiety. All while being recently diagnosed with bpd and dealing with being gay, there's so much going on. Sometimes i get so over whelmed by everything. Its like anything can push me over the edge.
    thatonekid07 thatonekid07 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 18

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    I was just in emotion mind RAGE,

    ANGER.. everyone in my path got a taste of it and I didn't care. I get fed up with being ran all over sometimes and I explode! People need to learn to stay away from me when Im in that state. I feel kinda bad now.
    ms5271115 ms5271115 36-40, F 4 days ago

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    Rev #1 Normal

    Normal? Normal: A self-created standard in the American household. Is there any idea left such as this? It was as if I craved nothing more than to be considered as so. It has no meaning left to someone in a world so full of ever-changing standards. In my mind I was far from the...
    LostInBPD LostInBPD 22-25, M 10 Responses Feb 6, 2013

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    Well, I did it again.

    I let my thoughts bubble up into a fit of rage. I am so bitter and cold today. It all started this morning. Waking up , realizing this is it for now. I am stuck at home almost always. This doesn't bother me everyday because I love being a full time mom. What I don't love is...
    ashless ashless 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    BPD. A disorder that is relatively common,

    but can ruin a life in a matter of months. My life was ruined, but a lot of people don't understand how. I have no friends, and have been in multiple abusive situations. Verbal and sexual. Do you know whats it's like to have to explain to people when they ask about the scar...
    annfgates annfgates 18-21, F 7 Responses Feb 8, 2014

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    OMG emotional roller coaster im

    so fucken drained. I was obviously to happy/manic today n now here comes the come down grrr!!!!. im so mad upset n exausted at the same time. can you seriously not just let me be happy for 1 whole day!!!!
    LJglasgow LJglasgow 26-30, F 6 Responses Aug 18

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    I look. this up its almost me

    but its not really but it gave me some info
    etdragonstrom etdragonstrom 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 8

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    I am (almost can't believe it) peaceful

    since yesterday night and today.I am usually a lot of emotions,but never peaceful,never.The instances where I have been peaceful,I can probably count them on my fingers.Usually peace in me ,is replaced by emptiness,hollowness,and a yearning for something i don't understand,like...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 3

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    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I've Noticed Something...

    That infuriates me to the core. (Isn't uncontrollable anger a symptom? Hahaaaaaa, I don't care.) It seems that whenever BPD is brought up by someone who does not have it or has witnessed emotionally distraught/unstable people that do have BPD, it's always "Run for the hills! They...
    AmandaMarlee AmandaMarlee 18-21, F 6 Responses May 12, 2013

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    Hi all! I do not have BPD

    but I am getting worried about Sarah, who is a friend of mine, and I am wondering if you could please help me? I think she has BPD because of the following and I would like your input, please: 1) Sarah was always very moody during her teen years but during her adult life her...
    Thia999 Thia999 56-60, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    Borderline Personality Disorder.

    People with borderline personality disorder are unstable in several areas, including interpersonal relationships, behavior, mood, and self-image. Abrupt and extreme mood changes, stormy interpersonal relationships, an unstable and fluctuating self-image, unpredictable and self...
    ReachingNirvana ReachingNirvana 22-25, M 5 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    Nothingness!!! I woke up to flat,

    numb, nothingness. As much as I hate being manic or on a really bad low I think id rather have either of them right now. This feeling or lack of feeling I really cant handle, I hate this and I dont know how to deal with it!!!
    LJglasgow LJglasgow 26-30, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Saw the movie shame.That is exactly how it is

    being borderline.I think I am somewhere in between.Being Demisexual,empath and borderline is a strange **** up of emotions.You have love addiction,you chase men like a drug,you fall for the ones who you know can't love you,yet you trade sex for a connect.And break down when it...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses May 8

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    I think one of the hardest parts about 'having

    borderline' (I say it like this because you are of course not defined by it) is that you have this chronic feeling of inadequacy. This of course makes you prone to being jealous and obsessive. I absolutely hate it....I never want to ever get into a relationship again as I know...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Over time I've realised

    that BPD has made me a Chameleon. I change my colours depending on who I'm with. I've done this for as long as I can remember. I've realised that I don't do this because I want to impress people or to get people to like me but because of 2 reasons, 1) so people can't get too...
    LewisCollins LewisCollins 31-35 4 Responses Jul 7, 2014

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    Some Ppl Shouldn't Be Here

    OK....I am starting to realize that some people on this page shouldn't be here. This is not a joke. It is where some of us who really need to get advice and release pain,to turn to for strength and support. This group is callled "I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER." . If you...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 9 Responses Sep 5, 2012

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    I am have been diagnosed

    as with borderline personality disorder last year.Such a relief.I think I have had it for 10 years and have inherited it from my mother.Who I forgive,If she goes through that much emotional pain as me,I forgive her. We tend to bear more than we can actually take.Very few people...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 9

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    The Joyful Life of a Borderline/sociopath.

    I live in a world where everyone is a cardboard cutout, a puppet, a means to an end, a fling to be discarded, a way to find connection, to plaster-over the lonelyness of my irreperable disconnection from mankind. I'm a borderline, but I'm also a sociopath. It's a really weird...
    Phage Phage 26-30, F 143 Responses Feb 18, 2009

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    I think because of bpd,

    when I experience any thoughts of judgments against myself, they are magnified by ten. The father of my three children is engaged to be married. I want to be genuinely happy for him because he is a good father and man. My thoughts are attacking each other. Half my thoughts...
    ms5271115 ms5271115 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    If you want to what Borderline Personality

    feels like watch the links below. It'll give you an inside look. Watch "Borderline Personality Disorder - What it feels like" on YouTube - https://youtu.be/PzpIzXShHeg Watch "Borderline Personality Disorder" on YouTube - https://youtu.be/KeQuZyTkyFw
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I was diagnosed with bpd over a year ago.

    I am currently dealing with a flood of self judgment after finding out my kids father is engaged now I am struggling to not make this about me. I can't even type right now because I have a lot of distractions around me and in my mind. This too shall pass.
    ms5271115 ms5271115 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    i dont feel like writng

    as nothing seems to help im having trouble getting up to face the day dont feel like showering yesterday was different the nothing helps i feel nothing i geel like nothing so lonely i feel likeim stubborn just dont want to the work anymor eits too hard im tired of this anyone...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 5 days ago

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    Here lately I have been struggling

    so much. I was hospitalized a few weeks ago. They put me on all new medicine hoping that would help. I am back to work but its hard especially when no one thought I was coming back. A couple of girls took all of my stuff down in my office and change my email signature to...
    lostpedal lostpedal 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 6

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    Do any of you guys find yourself easily

    obsessed with subjects, ppl, objects. places ect. ??
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Escape From Borderland

       I wrote an essay on borderline personality disorder awhile ago, I hope it helps some of you. I realize that it's kind of long but I included some information as well as my experience with it. Enjoy!!      A person...
    Skyyyy Skyyyy 18-21, F 25 Responses