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I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,501 People

    im feeling really funny i dont feel real like

    im just a body around walking around my apartment so tired as usual going to bed is this being disonnected it freaks me out my mond is tired im tired hate being alone i feel like i just cant cope like other people i wan to move away so people wont see my fat body i need a...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 6 days ago

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    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    i feel like i cant go on i have apart in me

    well the depressed kid has rejected everything doesnt have the will to go on life is passing me bad i look for a home i never had i dont do well with people leaving what i meant living with people i wished imy parents neve rhad kids i hav eneve rbeen so depresse din my life like...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 19 hrs ago

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    Well, I did it again.

    I let my thoughts bubble up into a fit of rage. I am so bitter and cold today. It all started this morning. Waking up , realizing this is it for now. I am stuck at home almost always. This doesn't bother me everyday because I love being a full time mom. What I don't love is...
    ashless ashless 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    Someone should check my posts

    and their dramatic change of emotional stand for explanation of borderline pd.I am much better now.And while my emotional self is still cringing at the abandonment,my rational self finally sees the light at the end of the tunnel,and I get to see the disastrous "diary" entries I...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 14

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    hollaem hollaem 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 16

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    To all the people who look down on,

    degrade and ridicule people with BPD I would like to invite you to come walk a mile in our shoes!
    Yu12 Yu12 26-30, M 4 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    Like the Hoover Dam Collapsed...

    I have no idea how long I have had BPD, but I've known what it was for eight years now. I started working to fix myself from that moment on. For about five years, I have felt like it was completely under control. But then yesterday was a bad day. Subjectively I can look at it...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 45 Responses Apr 1, 2008

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    i cant fet out of this my mood is

    so low i hate this im in a dark painful place i just dont wan tto do this anymorei dont really wan tto talk to anyone i feel so lonely i got up early but i went back to bed as im a bed of hell i just dont care anymore some time si cant face reality i think why go out when you...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Apr 19

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    I'm in the hospital again

    after another suicidal freak out last night. My bf restrained me from overdosing. He knocked on my sisters bedroom door and said he needs help because I'm suicidal. My sisters bf basically told us to **** off and my sister didn't even get up to try and help. I know they both had...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 3 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    I am have been diagnosed

    as with borderline personality disorder last year.Such a relief.I think I have had it for 10 years and have inherited it from my mother.Who I forgive,If she goes through that much emotional pain as me,I forgive her. We tend to bear more than we can actually take.Very few people...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 9

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    I just have to accept the fact

    that no guy is ever gonna want to keep me around. I used to say I live for love, and now i don't know what the **** I live for. Life is one ****** up cycle of ****** up **** happening in ****** up orders because of ****** up circumstances and everything is ******. And I feel...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 10 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    I don't understand how I can care

    so deeply about people and then as soon as I feel rejected in any way I cut them off like they don't exist. A big part of me is sad about it and misses them but that's overshadowed by pain and anger. There's so much fear I just go numb and want everyone to **** off. I know I'll...
    ArtemisAncestor ArtemisAncestor 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 22

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    My Final Ep Story

    Well everyone, I found what I was looking for. I didn’t even realize I was looking for anything, or that it would take so damn long to find. But I found it. Peace. I’m finally at peace with everything. With myself, my future, my political beliefs, my religious beliefs...
    tangledx22 tangledx22 22-25, F 7 Responses Mar 10, 2012

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    One of the hardest things about it is not

    really knowing who yiu truly are
    yesiigarciaa yesiigarciaa 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 25, 2014

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    Positive traits of those with BPD: 1.

    Passionate-experience extreme intensity of passion when we find something that interests us 2. Individual-strongly cultivate our individuality and enjoy applying our abilities to new tasks 3. Spontaneous-we live in the moment doing whatever it is we feel we want to do at that...
    kavlynn99 kavlynn99 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    I've noticed that my borderline traits pretty

    much go away when I'm not in a relationship, but as soon as I fall in love I go crazy. Having bpd is hell, I'd rather be single and not have to deal with it.
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 9

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    I have BPD. Usually I'm quite depressed

    or apathetic. Occasionally, for no reason, I will wake up feeling great. Energetic, joyful, smart, and insightful. Music has deeper meaning. Them next day I realize I was acting strange and doing things that are out of character for me. Almost like I was drunk. Is this normal...
    caly94 caly94 31-35, F 5 Responses Apr 12

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    Hey guys, I'm new here,

    so I'm not exactly sure how this goes.. But I figured I'd give it a shot. Here's a little bit about me: My name is Sara, I'm 19 years old, I live with my boyfriend & his family, I work part time, and I have BPD. I've had depression my entire life, although I wasn't diagnosed...
    darling1925 darling1925 18-21, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I was having a great day at work

    and coming towards the end of the day I started feeling pathetic knowing that once I left work I'd have no to call or text me. Most people constantly have friends texting and calling them but not me. I cut myself off from everyone. I called my one friend and he text back that he...
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 13

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    hello good morning im

    so struggling im so fricken depressed it isnt funny i just cant take it any more i dont wan to live like this my mood is so loww i feel likea kid that cant get out of this i feel likei need help now why doesnt the pain come out i dont understand this i must go out for awalk all...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 20

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    This May Make You Happy

    I have been in dark places ,I have felt glory ,I have been no where at all.All these places I will go again.That is guaranteed but i hope I never gain the seed of hatred or greed. Never 100% if it can or not.I had this real clear thought for a second.I wanted to write this down...
    decept decept 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 22, 2012

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    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Apr 20

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    How Can You Bring Someone Into This Nightmare?

    I feel great now, and I'm determined to be better, but I know I'll fall. I know I'll make mistakes. How do I let someone close to me when I know I'll hurt them at some point and feel hurt by them? I'm so afraid I'm destined to forever be alone, just so I'm the only one hurt. I...
    chiamonkie chiamonkie 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 1, 2012

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    i feel liikei just dont want to goon anymor ei

    stayed up late just so i couldnt face the day i feel tired all the time in such a dark spot but im stubborn and wont open up i feel like i cant take this anymor ei hate life i hate that im like a teenager why cant live on her own i feel like i hate my parents some part of me...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Apr 18

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    Those of us who suffer BPD know

    where hell really is. It's inside us. No escaping the agony, pain and torture. No reprieve. It's in every moment of our day, our dreams and our thoughts. It infects everything. It controls everything. It poisons every aspect of our life. It must be the loneliest condition there...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 4 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    im not sure im o her ei just cant cope like

    everyone else i dont understand this i cant stand fetting up everyday i feel angry inside im tempted to go to hospital as much as i hate it there but i feel like i cant go on anymore i just dont understand this even though i was diagnosed 20 years ago jus t so so angry my kid...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Apr 24

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    Does anyone else constantly feel like you're

    not good enough, not important enough, not loved enough when you're in a relationship, even if the person you're with does all they can to show you otherwise? I have this feeling of desperation that I can't let go of.. He has so many friends and he's always so busy, and I just...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 12 Responses Apr 23

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    I'M Scared.

    I'm having trouble figuring myself out, who I am or what I want to be. I'm trying to make friends and keep them and have something more than what I know I'm not happy with now. I'm very depressed, I'm confused, I'm unable to see the positive side of things. It's scaring me...
    Iyric Iyric 18-21, F 24 Responses Feb 5, 2013

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    Alone With Bpd

    I was just recently diagnosed with BPD after a third suicide attempt. I was diagnosed as Bipolar considering my father was Bipolar and shot himself a few years ago. I am 26 years old and so far my life has been filled with pain no matter how much I try to fight it. I have been on...
    lissa lissa 46-50, F 11 Responses Jun 15, 2007

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    I'm sorry. I'm sorry

    that you have to go through BPD And I'm sorry I have to go through BPD It's not easy at all. And it's hard for people to understand that what we do, or how we feel, it very hard for us to control. I'm sorry, you don't deserve to live with BPD I'm sorry, I don't deserve to live...
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F 1 Response May 24, 2014

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    hello im feeling dark miserabkevery lonely my

    mind im tired of fighting this i dont know how to cope with this i think i feel angry im not sure whant to be set free my angry teenager is miserable in pain i dont know how to heal myself i keep looking for father figures im not healthy my mood is up and down i wanto cry i want...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    Rev #1 Normal

    Normal? Normal: A self-created standard in the American household. Is there any idea left such as this? It was as if I craved nothing more than to be considered as so. It has no meaning left to someone in a world so full of ever-changing standards. In my mind I was far from the...
    LostInBPD LostInBPD 22-25, M 9 Responses Feb 6, 2013

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    It sucks. If you even feel a tinge of

    abandonment, you turn into this insecure, self-destructive monster. You start fights or start thinking that it'll never end & everyone will leave. You start wondering if you're even good enough. I hate it. I hate this feeling.
    Susananais Susananais 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    I'm mostly always mean to people especially my

    mom. I would get irriated and annoyed if she ask me about something that I think it's very obvious and it answers itself or think that is so dumb what's she saying and think that she is stupid. Then I go and start to be sarcastic or to answer in a bad way and ridicule her. I...
    AndreaCulea AndreaCulea 22-25, F 3 days ago

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    Some Ppl Shouldn't Be Here

    OK....I am starting to realize that some people on this page shouldn't be here. This is not a joke. It is where some of us who really need to get advice and release pain,to turn to for strength and support. This group is callled "I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER." . If you...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 8 Responses Sep 5, 2012

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    We fight every night

    for something. When the sun sets were both the same. Half draped in the shadows. Half burned in flames.
    JohnVBlackburn JohnVBlackburn 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 14

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    I hate my anxieties. I hate my self destructive

    persona. I hate how I am on the outside. I hate how I am on the inside.
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F a week ago

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    i dont really know what to qt to write really i

    feel like im not connected ive beenwatching tv havent been able to cope barely hangoing on i have a stubborn kid in me who refuses to go on the list at times as some times i just hate having to reach out although i find alot of people dont really seem to wqrite back havent been...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Borderliners?Wanna try this?

    I am gonna make this the new script for my diary entries format.So I will start filling these,instead of the pain I normally do.Oh,and the flow thing is hilarious. Borderliners are always in flow,we need to stop being focused at the problem that is eating us.Thus ,perhaps...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F Apr 15

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    Escape From Borderland

       I wrote an essay on borderline personality disorder awhile ago, I hope it helps some of you. I realize that it's kind of long but I included some information as well as my experience with it. Enjoy!!      A person...
    Skyyyy Skyyyy 18-21, F 24 Responses Jun 16, 2010

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    Borderline Are Extremely Intelligence And Creative.

    Borderline are extremely intelligence and creative. We struggle to create and give birth to ourselves through our work and intellectual pursuit instead of mundane (...) normal people standards. Everyday, Every Night, we splinted and twisted into multiple personalities that...
    triratna triratna 31-35 3 Responses Oct 5, 2013

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    The other day, I was in a mood

    and arguing with my husband (as is common anymore) and before I could catch it, I said something pretty awful, even for me. I said, "Lately, I spend most of my time considering suicide just to get out of a relationship with you." I feel like I'm spiralling more and more lately...
    justarandom justarandom 22-25, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I've Noticed Something...

    That infuriates me to the core. (Isn't uncontrollable anger a symptom? Hahaaaaaa, I don't care.) It seems that whenever BPD is brought up by someone who does not have it or has witnessed emotionally distraught/unstable people that do have BPD, it's always "Run for the hills! They...
    AmandaMarlee AmandaMarlee 18-21, F 6 Responses May 12, 2013

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    The Joyful Life of a Borderline/sociopath.

    I live in a world where everyone is a cardboard cutout, a puppet, a means to an end, a fling to be discarded, a way to find connection, to plaster-over the lonelyness of my irreperable disconnection from mankind. I'm a borderline, but I'm also a sociopath. It's a really weird...
    Phage Phage 26-30, F 142 Responses Feb 18, 2009

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