Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,536 People

    Well, I did it again.

    I let my thoughts bubble up into a fit of rage. I am so bitter and cold today. It all started this morning. Waking up , realizing this is it for now. I am stuck at home almost always. This doesn't bother me everyday because I love being a full time mom. What I don't love is...
    ashless ashless 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How Can You Bring Someone Into This Nightmare?

    I feel great now, and I'm determined to be better, but I know I'll fall. I know I'll make mistakes. How do I let someone close to me when I know I'll hurt them at some point and feel hurt by them? I'm so afraid I'm destined to forever be alone, just so I'm the only one hurt. I...
    chiamonkie chiamonkie 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 1, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Therapy doesn't help me,

    people are always trying to change what you are. I just need people that will understand. Preferably someone that's in New York, but that's not a necessity.
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Does anyone else constantly feel like you're

    not good enough, not important enough, not loved enough when you're in a relationship, even if the person you're with does all they can to show you otherwise? I have this feeling of desperation that I can't let go of.. He has so many friends and he's always so busy, and I just...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 12 Responses Apr 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i just feel really bad today.

    ..i keep taking sleeping pills so that i will just go back to sleep but its not working....i wish i could disappear...i wish i was never born....i hate who i am. today is a really bad day, no amount of distraction is helping right now. i wish this would end....
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 3 Responses May 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am have been diagnosed

    as with borderline personality disorder last year.Such a relief.I think I have had it for 10 years and have inherited it from my mother.Who I forgive,If she goes through that much emotional pain as me,I forgive her. We tend to bear more than we can actually take.Very few people...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just have to accept the fact

    that no guy is ever gonna want to keep me around. I used to say I live for love, and now i don't know what the **** I live for. Life is one ****** up cycle of ****** up **** happening in ****** up orders because of ****** up circumstances and everything is ******. And I feel...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 10 Responses Nov 12, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i need to vent im feeling funny

    and screwed this is scarying me ihav eno energy no nothing i need to kick a ball no i nee dto kick people i dont know wha tim feeling im disconnected from em im feeling so screwed up that i could off myself right now
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F May 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    today is the worst day ever!

    ! :'( my paranois is really starting to hit me hard I just wanna break down..I hate feeling like this not good enough I hate having these thoughts in my head...I just wanna escape...
    DalaKumono DalaKumono 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate how I can feel a sad episode coming on

    yet there is nothing I can do to stop it from coming.
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    wher eis everyone i feel like im carrying the

    world inside i feel like i cabt do this anymor ei went to the foodbank today walked alot and worke din friends store when im not well im tired i feel like i dont wan to grow up i just cant do this anymor e what do i do
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 1 Response May 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Like the Hoover Dam Collapsed...

    I have no idea how long I have had BPD, but I've known what it was for eight years now. I started working to fix myself from that moment on. For about five years, I have felt like it was completely under control. But then yesterday was a bad day. Subjectively I can look at it...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 45 Responses Apr 1, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Update....

    To all borderliners,I feel compelled to write to you, but what I want to say isn't clear yet in my head.  I'm just going to go with it.  Bear with me.For a couple of weeks I've been getting dialectical behaviour therapy, this is similar to CBT in as much as it teaches you...
    charlie248 charlie248 36-40, F 33 Responses May 8, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My borderline is getting worse these few days.

    I have sort of over dosing on anxiety pills.Between the trade off of being in extreme pain,and being somewhat okay I chose whatever sense of sanity I get.But I am on 6 pills a day nowadays.I need to find real life substitutes.Hey,at least I am not suicidal. I hate letting people...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses May 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So an interesting thing was brought up to me.

    .. We tend to focus so much on the downside of BPD we don't often see the positive things. We're passionate, creative, to the point, individualistic, protective of others, empathetic, forgiving, full of love, loyal, and never boring. Of course each of these may not apply to...
    EngulfingBreeze EngulfingBreeze 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Borderline Personality Disorder.

    People with borderline personality disorder are unstable in several areas, including interpersonal relationships, behavior, mood, and self-image. Abrupt and extreme mood changes, stormy interpersonal relationships, an unstable and fluctuating self-image, unpredictable and self...
    parthrunax1 parthrunax1 22-25, M 5 Responses Jun 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    nessa88 nessa88 26-30, F May 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I get into so many fights with my good friends

    - like yelling at the top of my lungs fighting. My temper/desperation for love and approval are a horrible mix.
    SoulSearcherLover SoulSearcherLover 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Rev #1 Normal

    Normal? Normal: A self-created standard in the American household. Is there any idea left such as this? It was as if I craved nothing more than to be considered as so. It has no meaning left to someone in a world so full of ever-changing standards. In my mind I was far from the...
    LostInBPD LostInBPD 22-25, M 9 Responses Feb 6, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm at the point where I've wrecked my whole

    life and I'm only 26. I had to change and now I'm trying to figure it all out in therapy and using stepping stones...
    kayleisma kayleisma 22-25, F 1 Response a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Some Ppl Shouldn't Be Here

    OK....I am starting to realize that some people on this page shouldn't be here. This is not a joke. It is where some of us who really need to get advice and release pain,to turn to for strength and support. This group is callled "I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER." . If you...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 8 Responses Sep 5, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Are any of you in New York?

    I'm trying assemble a group of mutual understanding, and yes i have BPD myself.
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm sorry. I'm sorry

    that you have to go through BPD And I'm sorry I have to go through BPD It's not easy at all. And it's hard for people to understand that what we do, or how we feel, it very hard for us to control. I'm sorry, you don't deserve to live with BPD I'm sorry, I don't deserve to live...
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F 1 Response May 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've noticed that my borderline traits pretty

    much go away when I'm not in a relationship, but as soon as I fall in love I go crazy. Having bpd is hell, I'd rather be single and not have to deal with it.
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i am afraid of people.

    ..being around them, talkng to them... is anyone else this way? if so...how do you deal with it?
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 2 Responses May 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Escape From Borderland

       I wrote an essay on borderline personality disorder awhile ago, I hope it helps some of you. I realize that it's kind of long but I included some information as well as my experience with it. Enjoy!!      A person...
    Skyyyy Skyyyy 18-21, F 24 Responses Jun 16, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Do you ever just read a book about whatever you

    have and feel that much more upset thinking "That's really great. I am literally everything this thing is talking about from what's happened in the past to how I'm doing things now. I'm a living poster-child for this." You don't feel special, you don't feel happy that you aren't...
    EngulfingBreeze EngulfingBreeze 22-25, F 4 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am (almost can't believe it) peaceful

    since yesterday night and today.I am usually a lot of emotions,but never peaceful,never.The instances where I have been peaceful,I can probably count them on my fingers.Usually peace in me ,is replaced by emptiness,hollowness,and a yearning for something i don't understand,like...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    SoulSearcherLover SoulSearcherLover 18-21, F 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    SoulSearcherLover SoulSearcherLover 18-21, F 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    im not sure i have bpd

    but this is the best category i could think to post in. i feel like a sheet of paper. blank. i emulate other people and fictional characters but they dont represent me. i feel like i am nothing. i... dont know how to explain myself
    gemmed gemmed 13-15, F 1 Response May 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I recently started therapy up again

    and that seems to be helping tremendously. Socially and mood wise I have been a lot more outgoing and grounded This is such a change from the last 3 yrs of my life. I also met a really great guy and we seem to be hitting it off. What's better is he is encouraging that we take...
    poodahpop poodahpop 18-21, T 1 Response May 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Saw the movie shame.That is exactly how it is

    being borderline.I think I am somewhere in between.Being Demisexual,empath and borderline is a strange **** up of emotions.You have love addiction,you chase men like a drug,you fall for the ones who you know can't love you,yet you trade sex for a connect.And break down when it...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses May 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've Noticed Something...

    That infuriates me to the core. (Isn't uncontrollable anger a symptom? Hahaaaaaa, I don't care.) It seems that whenever BPD is brought up by someone who does not have it or has witnessed emotionally distraught/unstable people that do have BPD, it's always "Run for the hills! They...
    AmandaMarlee AmandaMarlee 18-21, F 6 Responses May 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just hate feeling so alone

    but also feeling like its my fault.
    SoulSearcherLover SoulSearcherLover 18-21, F May 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Joyful Life of a Borderline/sociopath.

    I live in a world where everyone is a cardboard cutout, a puppet, a means to an end, a fling to be discarded, a way to find connection, to plaster-over the lonelyness of my irreperable disconnection from mankind. I'm a borderline, but I'm also a sociopath. It's a really weird...
    Phage Phage 26-30, F 142 Responses Feb 18, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Is anyone else a "quiet borderline?

    " I'm an introvert, which makes it kind of hard to relate to other bpd sufferers sometimes. Many people (especially family members) underestimate my emotional instability because I turn it all inward (most of the time) I was just wondering if anyone has a similar issue.
    SlothSweater SlothSweater 16-17, F 6 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    needing to vent not that it helps i was worried

    about brother as he hasnt been on face book i told him about mom hes i create drama all i did was reach out nobody see if he cares i hatew the mANstarts bringing up things like bad choices weve made and mu mpom that wa sher past 39 years ago react to him he said im not a...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F May 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I realize now how much having borderline

    personality puts a damper on your relationships. It makes everything feel so unstable. And it's like I am scared to lose anybody in my life, that I try too hard to make them stay and it ends up having the opposite effect. I used to think I was more than my mental illness. But I...
    KairiKipling KairiKipling 18-21, F 1 Response May 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I became extremely depressed to the point of

    suicide and I lied to my friend about having schizophrenia and then I lied to her about getting help 3 times, because I didn't have schizophrenia and couldn't see I had a real problem. I messaged her more than enough a couple times. She called my parents and they took me to the...
    breakfreex breakfreex 26-30, F 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Okay,so saw fatal attraction,

    and let me put out some stuff,as a bpd sufferer myself,I will never do,and it is very unlikely most average bpd people might. 1.I love animals.Absolutely love them,I was traumatized when she boiled that thing.I would never,ever,I mean ,come on! 2. I would never ,have never even...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 3 Responses May 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It sucks. If you even feel a tinge of

    abandonment, you turn into this insecure, self-destructive monster. You start fights or start thinking that it'll never end & everyone will leave. You start wondering if you're even good enough. I hate it. I hate this feeling.
    Susananais Susananais 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    sometimes i hate being on her enot you guys i

    have to force myself to i feel like crap nothing helps so much pain i want to give up i feel lost and i dont know waht im tired of people hurting ot abusing me i want peopel like that pay they are bad people i wan tto i feel ldea dand poison insid ei know i put myself to the...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 1 Response May 24

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The most painful symptom of BPD is the emptiness

    that I feel inside. No matter how much love and assurance I receive from people, I still feel stranded on an island by myself. I still feel afraid. It's a constant state of fear, and unlike to moods swings, the fear never subsides. Infact, If I sit completely still and close my...
    Mulhollandrive Mulhollandrive 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If you're in Northern New Jersey

    and have a high degree of empathy, join my meetup group. Http://meetup.com/NNJ-Empathy-Meetup/ We already have over 40 members. Our next Meetup is June 10 in Fairlawn, NJ and over 10 people have RSVPed. Why should you join our group? So that you can connect with similar...
    Roxvox Roxvox 31-35, F May 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's fear. BPD= Fear

    and trembling.
    Mulhollandrive Mulhollandrive 26-30, F 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel