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I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,517 People

    Ah,so shared vision turns out my founder is

    delusional.He wants this grand idea of a vision to be executed and cant even put a ******* business plan. Meanwhile he is derailing all my ideas as lame,won't work,blah blah,and taking ones he likes to talk to specific mentors who will give him intel who will then mysteriously...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 1 Response May 13

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    Right now any time there is mention of death,

    my brain goes "that's a great idea, let's die, you want to die" which is highly unhelpful when you're trying to be happy. Why do I have to be like this?
    Ambernonymous Ambernonymous 18-21, F 2 Responses May 14

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    i am afraid of people.

    ..being around them, talkng to them... is anyone else this way? if so...how do you deal with it?
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F May 15

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    Is anyone else a "quiet borderline?

    " I'm an introvert, which makes it kind of hard to relate to other bpd sufferers sometimes. Many people (especially family members) underestimate my emotional instability because I turn it all inward (most of the time) I was just wondering if anyone has a similar issue.
    SlothSweater SlothSweater 13-15, F 2 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Like the Hoover Dam Collapsed...

    I have no idea how long I have had BPD, but I've known what it was for eight years now. I started working to fix myself from that moment on. For about five years, I have felt like it was completely under control. But then yesterday was a bad day. Subjectively I can look at it...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 45 Responses Apr 1, 2008

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    SoulSearcherLover SoulSearcherLover 18-21, F 2 Responses May 11

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    Positive traits of those with BPD: 1.

    Passionate-experience extreme intensity of passion when we find something that interests us 2. Individual-strongly cultivate our individuality and enjoy applying our abilities to new tasks 3. Spontaneous-we live in the moment doing whatever it is we feel we want to do at that...
    kavlynn99 kavlynn99 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    My Final Ep Story

    Well everyone, I found what I was looking for. I didn’t even realize I was looking for anything, or that it would take so damn long to find. But I found it. Peace. I’m finally at peace with everything. With myself, my future, my political beliefs, my religious beliefs...
    tangledx22 tangledx22 22-25, F 7 Responses Mar 10, 2012

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    Those of us who suffer BPD know

    where hell really is. It's inside us. No escaping the agony, pain and torture. No reprieve. It's in every moment of our day, our dreams and our thoughts. It infects everything. It controls everything. It poisons every aspect of our life. It must be the loneliest condition there...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 4 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    sometimes i hate being on her enot you guys i

    have to force myself to i feel like crap nothing helps so much pain i want to give up i feel lost and i dont know waht im tired of people hurting ot abusing me i want peopel like that pay they are bad people i wan tto i feel ldea dand poison insid ei know i put myself to the...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Escape From Borderland

       I wrote an essay on borderline personality disorder awhile ago, I hope it helps some of you. I realize that it's kind of long but I included some information as well as my experience with it. Enjoy!!      A person...
    Skyyyy Skyyyy 18-21, F 24 Responses Jun 16, 2010

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    needing to vent not that it helps i was worried

    about brother as he hasnt been on face book i told him about mom hes i create drama all i did was reach out nobody see if he cares i hatew the mANstarts bringing up things like bad choices weve made and mu mpom that wa sher past 39 years ago react to him he said im not a...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F May 18

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    One of the hardest things about it is not

    really knowing who yiu truly are
    yesiigarciaa yesiigarciaa 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 25, 2014

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    Some Ppl Shouldn't Be Here

    OK....I am starting to realize that some people on this page shouldn't be here. This is not a joke. It is where some of us who really need to get advice and release pain,to turn to for strength and support. This group is callled "I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER." . If you...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 8 Responses Sep 5, 2012

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    vishar vishar 18-21, M 1 Response May 14

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    My borderline is getting worse these few days.

    I have sort of over dosing on anxiety pills.Between the trade off of being in extreme pain,and being somewhat okay I chose whatever sense of sanity I get.But I am on 6 pills a day nowadays.I need to find real life substitutes.Hey,at least I am not suicidal. I hate letting people...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses May 17

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    I recently started therapy up again

    and that seems to be helping tremendously. Socially and mood wise I have been a lot more outgoing and grounded This is such a change from the last 3 yrs of my life. I also met a really great guy and we seem to be hitting it off. What's better is he is encouraging that we take...
    poodahpop poodahpop 18-21, T 1 Response May 17

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    How Can You Bring Someone Into This Nightmare?

    I feel great now, and I'm determined to be better, but I know I'll fall. I know I'll make mistakes. How do I let someone close to me when I know I'll hurt them at some point and feel hurt by them? I'm so afraid I'm destined to forever be alone, just so I'm the only one hurt. I...
    chiamonkie chiamonkie 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 1, 2012

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    i just feel really bad today.

    ..i keep taking sleeping pills so that i will just go back to sleep but its not working....i wish i could disappear...i wish i was never born....i hate who i am. today is a really bad day, no amount of distraction is helping right now. i wish this would end....
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I am (almost can't believe it) peaceful

    since yesterday night and today.I am usually a lot of emotions,but never peaceful,never.The instances where I have been peaceful,I can probably count them on my fingers.Usually peace in me ,is replaced by emptiness,hollowness,and a yearning for something i don't understand,like...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 3

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    I realize now how much having borderline

    personality puts a damper on your relationships. It makes everything feel so unstable. And it's like I am scared to lose anybody in my life, that I try too hard to make them stay and it ends up having the opposite effect. I used to think I was more than my mental illness. But I...
    KairiKipling KairiKipling 18-21, F 1 Response May 18

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    Rev #1 Normal

    Normal? Normal: A self-created standard in the American household. Is there any idea left such as this? It was as if I craved nothing more than to be considered as so. It has no meaning left to someone in a world so full of ever-changing standards. In my mind I was far from the...
    LostInBPD LostInBPD 22-25, M 9 Responses Feb 6, 2013

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    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F May 13

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    I just have to accept the fact

    that no guy is ever gonna want to keep me around. I used to say I live for love, and now i don't know what the **** I live for. Life is one ****** up cycle of ****** up **** happening in ****** up orders because of ****** up circumstances and everything is ******. And I feel...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 10 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    I'm sorry. I'm sorry

    that you have to go through BPD And I'm sorry I have to go through BPD It's not easy at all. And it's hard for people to understand that what we do, or how we feel, it very hard for us to control. I'm sorry, you don't deserve to live with BPD I'm sorry, I don't deserve to live...
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F 1 Response May 24, 2014

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    himenoko143 himenoko143 18-21, F 1 Response May 11

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    In the past month, a lot has happened.

    I'll warn you in advance that this is a long post, but I think it might help some of you to feel less alone. I hope it does. So. I dated a guy named Shawn for about 5 months last year. One day, he told me he had been talking about our relationship problems with his female...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 6 Responses May 10

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    If you're in Northern New Jersey

    and have a high degree of empathy, join my meetup group. Http://meetup.com/NNJ-Empathy-Meetup/ We already have over 40 members. Our next Meetup is June 10 in Fairlawn, NJ and over 10 people have RSVPed. Why should you join our group? So that you can connect with similar...
    Roxvox Roxvox 31-35, F 4 days ago

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    I've noticed that my borderline traits pretty

    much go away when I'm not in a relationship, but as soon as I fall in love I go crazy. Having bpd is hell, I'd rather be single and not have to deal with it.
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 9

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    Okay,so saw fatal attraction,

    and let me put out some stuff,as a bpd sufferer myself,I will never do,and it is very unlikely most average bpd people might. 1.I love animals.Absolutely love them,I was traumatized when she boiled that thing.I would never,ever,I mean ,come on! 2. I would never ,have never even...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I'm really trying this time

    but if he does not walk out the door and leave me eventually he will die. So either way he will leave me.
    SirsKnottyGirl SirsKnottyGirl 26-30, F 1 Response May 13

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    I'm scared to be in friendships

    or relationships because I turn into an emotionally manipulative codependent mess and I don't want to ruin anybody
    borderlineeverything borderlineeverything 16-17, F May 15

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    I'M Scared.

    I'm having trouble figuring myself out, who I am or what I want to be. I'm trying to make friends and keep them and have something more than what I know I'm not happy with now. I'm very depressed, I'm confused, I'm unable to see the positive side of things. It's scaring me...
    Iyric Iyric 18-21, F 24 Responses Feb 5, 2013

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    Saw the movie shame.That is exactly how it is

    being borderline.I think I am somewhere in between.Being Demisexual,empath and borderline is a strange **** up of emotions.You have love addiction,you chase men like a drug,you fall for the ones who you know can't love you,yet you trade sex for a connect.And break down when it...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses May 8

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    Over time I've realised

    that BPD has made me a Chameleon. I change my colours depending on who I'm with. I've done this for as long as I can remember. I've realised that I don't do this because I want to impress people or to get people to like me but because of 2 reasons, 1) so people can't get too...
    LewisCollins LewisCollins 31-35 4 Responses Jul 7, 2014

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    my borderline seems to differ in alot of ways

    from the experiences I'm reading. i have other issues that help to form this mess in my head but i dont identify with the normal discription of BPD.....i internalize everything. im not into manipulating others..myself...yea, i have to to get stuff done. i do have server...
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 2 Responses May 11

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    nessa88 nessa88 26-30, F May 16

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    Borderline Are Extremely Intelligence And Creative.

    Borderline are extremely intelligence and creative. We struggle to create and give birth to ourselves through our work and intellectual pursuit instead of mundane (...) normal people standards. Everyday, Every Night, we splinted and twisted into multiple personalities that...
    triratna triratna 31-35 3 Responses Oct 5, 2013

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    I just hate feeling so alone

    but also feeling like its my fault.
    SoulSearcherLover SoulSearcherLover 18-21, F May 17

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    I've Noticed Something...

    That infuriates me to the core. (Isn't uncontrollable anger a symptom? Hahaaaaaa, I don't care.) It seems that whenever BPD is brought up by someone who does not have it or has witnessed emotionally distraught/unstable people that do have BPD, it's always "Run for the hills! They...
    AmandaMarlee AmandaMarlee 18-21, F 6 Responses May 12, 2013

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    Update....

    To all borderliners,I feel compelled to write to you, but what I want to say isn't clear yet in my head.  I'm just going to go with it.  Bear with me.For a couple of weeks I've been getting dialectical behaviour therapy, this is similar to CBT in as much as it teaches you...
    charlie248 charlie248 36-40, F 33 Responses May 8, 2012

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    I'm at the point where I've wrecked my whole

    life and I'm only 26. I had to change and now I'm trying to figure it all out in therapy and using stepping stones...
    kayleisma kayleisma 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I hate how I can feel a sad episode coming on

    yet there is nothing I can do to stop it from coming.
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 7, 2014

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    Well, I did it again.

    I let my thoughts bubble up into a fit of rage. I am so bitter and cold today. It all started this morning. Waking up , realizing this is it for now. I am stuck at home almost always. This doesn't bother me everyday because I love being a full time mom. What I don't love is...
    ashless ashless 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    To all the people who look down on,

    degrade and ridicule people with BPD I would like to invite you to come walk a mile in our shoes!
    Yu12 Yu12 26-30, M 4 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    It sucks. If you even feel a tinge of

    abandonment, you turn into this insecure, self-destructive monster. You start fights or start thinking that it'll never end & everyone will leave. You start wondering if you're even good enough. I hate it. I hate this feeling.
    Susananais Susananais 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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