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I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,676 People

    In the past month, a lot has happened.

    I'll warn you in advance that this is a long post, but I think it might help some of you to feel less alone. I hope it does. So. I dated a guy named Shawn for about 5 months last year. One day, he told me he had been talking about our relationship problems with his female...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 6 Responses May 10

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    Do any of you guys find yourself easily

    obsessed with subjects, ppl, objects. places ect. ??
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 25

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    Do any of you (those with borderline) find you

    feel like you have to be in a relationship?? You're always on the prowl for one? For me I'm this way big time. If I sense a relationship is ending, by my hands or the others, I make sure I have a back up relationship. This time I feel lost because I'm having a hard time...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I may be a sadistic borderline

    but at least I wouldn't lie, betray or cheat the people I cherish (even if it is a few). I wonder who the real animals are.
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 4 days ago

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    Update....

    To all borderliners,I feel compelled to write to you, but what I want to say isn't clear yet in my head.  I'm just going to go with it.  Bear with me.For a couple of weeks I've been getting dialectical behaviour therapy, this is similar to CBT in as much as it teaches you...
    charlie248 charlie248 36-40, F 32 Responses May 8, 2012

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    It's ironic how I can be completely ruthless to

    some people whereas I can be very gentle, accepting and kind towards those I have chose to cherish.
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 24

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    Does anyone else constantly feel like you're

    not good enough, not important enough, not loved enough when you're in a relationship, even if the person you're with does all they can to show you otherwise? I have this feeling of desperation that I can't let go of.. He has so many friends and he's always so busy, and I just...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 11 Responses Apr 23

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    Idk what happened I suddenly feel like wanting

    to die..I feel weal and tired..I wanna be alone but at the same time I want someone to tell me it'll pass and everything is gonna be okay..Idk why it had to be tonight that I feel like this again..it's been so long..I don't know what to do..
    DalaKumono DalaKumono 18-21, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Is there anyone here

    who has had another former or co existing diagnosis with borderline personality disorder? I was diagnosed with Autism in my childhood but one psychologist I see thinks I have borderline and not Autism.
    rainbowsmangos2015 rainbowsmangos2015 22-25, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I hate this feelings.

    Idk what's triggering all these bad feelings in me today but I wish I never woke up from my sleep. I just wanna be alone but I wanna talk. I feel hatred but then again I don't. I wanna hit something but I don't wanna hurt anything myself.~ I just wanna cry and vent but I really...
    xMellowButterflyx xMellowButterflyx 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Nothingness!!! I woke up to flat,

    numb, nothingness. As much as I hate being manic or on a really bad low I think id rather have either of them right now. This feeling or lack of feeling I really cant handle, I hate this and I dont know how to deal with it!!!
    LJglasgow LJglasgow 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 24

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    I just have to accept the fact

    that no guy is ever gonna want to keep me around. I used to say I live for love, and now i don't know what the **** I live for. Life is one ****** up cycle of ****** up **** happening in ****** up orders because of ****** up circumstances and everything is ******. And I feel...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 9 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    I have had so much to be ungrateful

    and so very little to be thankful for.. I am living in a world where i am not in control.. I hate everything about my stupid illness and i cant seem to get away from it.. To get away from my mind that seems to take everything from me.. Look at me? Can you look me in the eye and...
    xxcaylaxx xxcaylaxx 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    It sucks. If you even feel a tinge of

    abandonment, you turn into this insecure, self-destructive monster. You start fights or start thinking that it'll never end & everyone will leave. You start wondering if you're even good enough. I hate it. I hate this feeling.
    Susananais Susananais 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    Well, I did it again.

    I let my thoughts bubble up into a fit of rage. I am so bitter and cold today. It all started this morning. Waking up , realizing this is it for now. I am stuck at home almost always. This doesn't bother me everyday because I love being a full time mom. What I don't love is...
    ashless ashless 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    I've Noticed Something...

    That infuriates me to the core. (Isn't uncontrollable anger a symptom? Hahaaaaaa, I don't care.) It seems that whenever BPD is brought up by someone who does not have it or has witnessed emotionally distraught/unstable people that do have BPD, it's always "Run for the hills! They...
    AmandaMarlee AmandaMarlee 18-21, F 6 Responses May 12, 2013

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    I am (almost can't believe it) peaceful

    since yesterday night and today.I am usually a lot of emotions,but never peaceful,never.The instances where I have been peaceful,I can probably count them on my fingers.Usually peace in me ,is replaced by emptiness,hollowness,and a yearning for something i don't understand,like...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 3

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    Some Ppl Shouldn't Be Here

    OK....I am starting to realize that some people on this page shouldn't be here. This is not a joke. It is where some of us who really need to get advice and release pain,to turn to for strength and support. This group is callled "I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER." . If you...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 9 Responses Sep 5, 2012

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    How do you deal with getting pushed away?

    It's hard to even survive those moments.
    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I hate my husband today!

    I wish he would pay for what he has done.
    arachmichel arachmichel 26-30, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Rev #1 Normal

    Normal? Normal: A self-created standard in the American household. Is there any idea left such as this? It was as if I craved nothing more than to be considered as so. It has no meaning left to someone in a world so full of ever-changing standards. In my mind I was far from the...
    LostInBPD LostInBPD 22-25, M 10 Responses Feb 6, 2013

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    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 27

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    Borderline Are Extremely Intelligence And Creative.

    Borderline are extremely intelligence and creative. We struggle to create and give birth to ourselves through our work and intellectual pursuit instead of mundane (...) normal people standards. Everyday, Every Night, we splinted and twisted into multiple personalities that...
    triratna triratna 31-35 3 Responses Oct 5, 2013

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    I love/hate in all my relationships with men.

    When things are bad I want to break up and when things are good I'm the happiest person alive. I recently had an episode and broke up with my boyfriend who I know would never leave me but I think I deserve more. I wonder if I will ever be truly satisfied with anyone..
    sexyprincess23 sexyprincess23 22-25, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I was just in emotion mind RAGE,

    ANGER.. everyone in my path got a taste of it and I didn't care. I get fed up with being ran all over sometimes and I explode! People need to learn to stay away from me when Im in that state. I feel kinda bad now.
    ms5271115 ms5271115 36-40, F Aug 24

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    BPD. A disorder that is relatively common,

    but can ruin a life in a matter of months. My life was ruined, but a lot of people don't understand how. I have no friends, and have been in multiple abusive situations. Verbal and sexual. Do you know whats it's like to have to explain to people when they ask about the scar...
    annfgates annfgates 18-21, F 7 Responses Feb 8, 2014

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    Yeah I remember why I don't let myself feel

    for ppl. Ppl will always cause you pain. It's best to just wall yourself up and stay in your cell alone and lonely. It's a duller pain. Anyone else feel this way??
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    OMG emotional roller coaster im

    so fucken drained. I was obviously to happy/manic today n now here comes the come down grrr!!!!. im so mad upset n exausted at the same time. can you seriously not just let me be happy for 1 whole day!!!!
    LJglasgow LJglasgow 26-30, F 6 Responses Aug 18

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    I'm sorry. I'm sorry

    that you have to go through BPD And I'm sorry I have to go through BPD It's not easy at all. And it's hard for people to understand that what we do, or how we feel, it very hard for us to control. I'm sorry, you don't deserve to live with BPD I'm sorry, I don't deserve to live...
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F 1 Response May 24, 2014

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    Calamityy Calamityy 22-25, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    My Final Ep Story

    Well everyone, I found what I was looking for. I didn’t even realize I was looking for anything, or that it would take so damn long to find. But I found it. Peace. I’m finally at peace with everything. With myself, my future, my political beliefs, my religious beliefs...
    tangledx22 tangledx22 22-25, F 7 Responses Mar 10, 2012

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    I'M Scared.

    I'm having trouble figuring myself out, who I am or what I want to be. I'm trying to make friends and keep them and have something more than what I know I'm not happy with now. I'm very depressed, I'm confused, I'm unable to see the positive side of things. It's scaring me...
    Iyric Iyric 18-21, F 24 Responses Feb 5, 2013

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    Those of us who suffer BPD know

    where hell really is. It's inside us. No escaping the agony, pain and torture. No reprieve. It's in every moment of our day, our dreams and our thoughts. It infects everything. It controls everything. It poisons every aspect of our life. It must be the loneliest condition there...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 4 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    Tattooedgirl864 Tattooedgirl864 31-35 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Borderline Personality Disorder.

    People with borderline personality disorder are unstable in several areas, including interpersonal relationships, behavior, mood, and self-image. Abrupt and extreme mood changes, stormy interpersonal relationships, an unstable and fluctuating self-image, unpredictable and self...
    ReachingNirvana ReachingNirvana 22-25, M 5 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    I am have been diagnosed

    as with borderline personality disorder last year.Such a relief.I think I have had it for 10 years and have inherited it from my mother.Who I forgive,If she goes through that much emotional pain as me,I forgive her. We tend to bear more than we can actually take.Very few people...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 9

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    I've noticed that my borderline traits pretty

    much go away when I'm not in a relationship, but as soon as I fall in love I go crazy. Having bpd is hell, I'd rather be single and not have to deal with it.
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9

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    despite all the people around me I've been

    forced to do everything alone. my family are toxic to be around, I have no friends around me and I ended up in a toxic relationship that was emotionally abusive and controlling that's ended now thankfully and I finally meet someone who I think is the one and yet she just told me...
    LewisCollins LewisCollins 31-35 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    two days ago i was ready to divorce my husband.

    this am, he made love to me and i loved it. i don't want a divorce. i want security. i don't want to talk to anyone else in the mornings but him but i also don't want to have to worry how the mortgage will be paid. it sucks to have such a biological need for security but then...
    LITVET LITVET 41-45, F 2 Responses Aug 25

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    I think one of the hardest parts about 'having

    borderline' (I say it like this because you are of course not defined by it) is that you have this chronic feeling of inadequacy. This of course makes you prone to being jealous and obsessive. I absolutely hate it....I never want to ever get into a relationship again as I know...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 24

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    I first started to notice I wasn't 'normal'

    when I was 14 years old. I would flip out so quickly over small things, and I don't mean just have a temper tantrum.. I would break things, punch walls, scream, scratch myself and pull my hair out. It was like I wasn't in my body and couldn't control it. I then started to drink...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 25

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    Alone With Bpd

    I was just recently diagnosed with BPD after a third suicide attempt. I was diagnosed as Bipolar considering my father was Bipolar and shot himself a few years ago. I am 26 years old and so far my life has been filled with pain no matter how much I try to fight it. I have been on...
    lissa lissa 46-50, F 11 Responses Jun 15, 2007

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    The Joyful Life of a Borderline/sociopath.

    I live in a world where everyone is a cardboard cutout, a puppet, a means to an end, a fling to be discarded, a way to find connection, to plaster-over the lonelyness of my irreperable disconnection from mankind. I'm a borderline, but I'm also a sociopath. It's a really weird...
    Phage Phage 26-30, F 144 Responses Feb 18, 2009

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    If you want to what Borderline Personality

    feels like watch the links below. It'll give you an inside look. Watch "Borderline Personality Disorder - What it feels like" on YouTube - https://youtu.be/PzpIzXShHeg Watch "Borderline Personality Disorder" on YouTube - https://youtu.be/KeQuZyTkyFw
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 25

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    So an interesting thing was brought up to me.

    .. We tend to focus so much on the downside of BPD we don't often see the positive things. We're passionate, creative, to the point, individualistic, protective of others, empathetic, forgiving, full of love, loyal, and never boring. Of course each of these may not apply to...
    WindsomeFlurry WindsomeFlurry 26-30 6 Responses Apr 3, 2014

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    One of the hardest things about it is not

    really knowing who yiu truly are
    yesiigarciaa yesiigarciaa 18-21, F 2 Responses