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I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,851 People

    I have BPD. I am about to lose my partner

    because I am so clingy, then I push him away. I self harm and abuse pills. Is there a self help group out there? I just want to be normal.....
    biffiebabie biffiebabie 36-40, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    My Final Ep Story

    Well everyone, I found what I was looking for. I didn’t even realize I was looking for anything, or that it would take so damn long to find. But I found it. Peace. I’m finally at peace with everything. With myself, my future, my political beliefs, my religious beliefs...
    tangledx22 tangledx22 22-25, F 7 Responses Mar 10, 2012

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    A few days ago I posted how my head hurts

    and how I have to let ago of a relationship. Also to use it as an opportunity to reflect on my issues. So here goes. The thing that sucks about BPD is when I am feeling emotionally vulnerable, usually due to my environment, my interpersonal relationships takes the hardest hit...
    allinlove allinlove 26-30, F Feb 3

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    My boyfriend has been ignoring me all night.

    I'm scared that he is going to leave me for another woman, who is hid friend. I know that I am not normal, I have tried talking to him but I get no response. The urge to self harm is really overwhelming. Help!
    biffiebabie biffiebabie 36-40, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I belw up at someone

    for no reason at all really, I completely over reacted. If I'm honest with myself I think it was because of my own guilt, need for attention and just generally being a brat. Thats pretty pathetic really. Now I'm annoyed at myself for doing it n taking it out on someone who...
    LJglasgow LJglasgow 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 28, 2015

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    I like to see my blood.

    .. I like to vomit after I drunk a lot of wine and hard liquor... I do not like to eat too much and wrong foods, as medicines make me do... I do not like to see my body far, to do not feel, to feel too much... I want create difficulties in my life, I want to destroy it, myself...
    bpd86it bpd86it 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 27

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    I'm sorry. I'm sorry

    that you have to go through BPD And I'm sorry I have to go through BPD It's not easy at all. And it's hard for people to understand that what we do, or how we feel, it very hard for us to control. I'm sorry, you don't deserve to live with BPD I'm sorry, I don't deserve to live...
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F 2 Responses May 24, 2014

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    I can't live like this forever.

    I'm not in physical danger, but I'm feeling hopeless. Is there reason to hope?
    mymaidenname mymaidenname 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 31

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    Some Ppl Shouldn't Be Here

    OK....I am starting to realize that some people on this page shouldn't be here. This is not a joke. It is where some of us who really need to get advice and release pain,to turn to for strength and support. This group is callled "I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER." . If you...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 46-50, M 9 Responses Sep 5, 2012

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    There are days I hate my life.

    In other words hating my life is hating my parents, my father in particular. I was my family's scapegoat. Yep, I inherited that dreadful honorable position. Yesterday, I watched "Divergent" for the first time, and I felt exactly like the protagonist. Everyone was able to conform...
    allinlove allinlove 26-30, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Blueborder21 Blueborder21 18-21, F Feb 2

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    I am have been diagnosed

    as with borderline personality disorder last year.Such a relief.I think I have had it for 10 years and have inherited it from my mother.Who I forgive,If she goes through that much emotional pain as me,I forgive her. We tend to bear more than we can actually take.Very few people...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 9, 2015

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    Borderline Are Extremely Intelligence And Creative.

    Borderline are extremely intelligence and creative. We struggle to create and give birth to ourselves through our work and intellectual pursuit instead of mundane (...) normal people standards. Everyday, Every Night, we splinted and twisted into multiple personalities that...
    triratna triratna 31-35 3 Responses Oct 5, 2013

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    I've Noticed Something...

    That infuriates me to the core. (Isn't uncontrollable anger a symptom? Hahaaaaaa, I don't care.) It seems that whenever BPD is brought up by someone who does not have it or has witnessed emotionally distraught/unstable people that do have BPD, it's always "Run for the hills! They...
    AmandaMarlee AmandaMarlee 22-25, F 6 Responses May 12, 2013

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    Does anybody struggle with feelings of low self

    worth, even though they know it not to be true?
    deej200 deej200 36-40, M Jan 26

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    Today Ive been practicing my DBT skills.

    Lifted some weights.. Did some star jumps.. Made a homemade meal instead of takeaway. Used lavender oil to help me relax... Continued to accept myself/thoughts even the darkest ones and be mindful that for one more day BPD hasnt won
    deej200 deej200 36-40, M 5 Responses Nov 9, 2015

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    I hate this ******* disorder!

    I hate getting attached to people, I hate feeling lonely and unwanted, I hate being so needy. I just want someone to look after me but my social anxiety is so bad and I get so irritated with people that I feel like I'll never even make friends.
    princessisabel princessisabel 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 16, 2015

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    Idontwanttosendyouapic Idontwanttosendyouapic 18-21, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    It took several years

    and soooo many meds to finally get diagnosed with BPD. I only got the dx because I went to an outpatient program and there were 2 doctors looking at my records. I was sitting in session one day and they started describing BPD and it clicked for me, the counselor in the session...
    justme081 justme081 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 26

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    Update....

    To all borderliners,I feel compelled to write to you, but what I want to say isn't clear yet in my head.  I'm just going to go with it.  Bear with me.For a couple of weeks I've been getting dialectical behaviour therapy, this is similar to CBT in as much as it teaches you...
    charlie248 charlie248 36-40, F 32 Responses May 8, 2012

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    Has anyone's moods ever shifted erratically

    for absolutely no clear reason? I would go from being happy for several hours then depressed and emotionally dissonant about something unrelated to what I was happy about and then bitter and angry the next several hours. External events like life stressors and triggers make...
    rainbowsmangos2015 rainbowsmangos2015 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 24, 2015

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    I don't have BPD but my (ex) boyfriend may have

    it so coming here to learn. Hopefully that is okay.
    Lann2015 Lann2015 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 31

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    It All Makes Sense Now.

    A chance encounter and some independent research resulted in my realization that for the last 5 years my behavior, experiences, and relationships would amount to a textbook example of someone suffering with BPD. The Intensity. The Destruction. The Dysfunction. The Self...
    Missluhvlee Missluhvlee 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Rules for dating someone with Borderline

    Personality Disorder: 1. Do not invalidate our feelings 2. Do not leave us alone for extended periods of time 3. Always make us feel like the number one priority 4. Make plenty of time to spend with us, alone 5. Do not get angry when we fail to see the gray 6. Be supportive 7...
    shoxic shoxic 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 6, 2015

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    One day I asked the DBT therapist to lead a

    mindfulness activity as a repair for showing up to the previous group late. My individual therapist encouraged me to give an explanation what mindfulness means to me. Here is the explaination: "When I was younger I acquired certain skills that were needed. This enabled me to...
    allinlove allinlove 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    Alone With Bpd

    I was just recently diagnosed with BPD after a third suicide attempt. I was diagnosed as Bipolar considering my father was Bipolar and shot himself a few years ago. I am 26 years old and so far my life has been filled with pain no matter how much I try to fight it. I have been on...
    lissa lissa 46-50, F 12 Responses Jun 15, 2007

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    Those of us who suffer BPD know

    where hell really is. It's inside us. No escaping the agony, pain and torture. No reprieve. It's in every moment of our day, our dreams and our thoughts. It infects everything. It controls everything. It poisons every aspect of our life. It must be the loneliest condition there...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 46-50, M 4 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    ... Blank ... I feel like

    that sums up me right now. I feel like I'm losing hope.
    Jlb13592 Jlb13592 26-30, M Feb 2

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    My boyfriend dumped me

    because I have too many issues. I don't know what to do. I just want to die.
    biffiebabie13 biffiebabie13 36-40, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    Rev #1 Normal

    Normal? Normal: A self-created standard in the American household. Is there any idea left such as this? It was as if I craved nothing more than to be considered as so. It has no meaning left to someone in a world so full of ever-changing standards. In my mind I was far from the...
    LostInBPD LostInBPD 22-25, M 10 Responses Feb 6, 2013

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    The Joyful Life of a Borderline/sociopath.

    I live in a world where everyone is a cardboard cutout, a puppet, a means to an end, a fling to be discarded, a way to find connection, to plaster-over the lonelyness of my irreperable disconnection from mankind. I'm a borderline, but I'm also a sociopath. It's a really weird...
    Phage Phage 26-30, F 146 Responses Feb 18, 2009

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    Does anybody else here feel

    as though there are two or more of you? One of "me" isa kind loving compassionate outgoing good friend (id like to think) and the other is a self aggressive destructive monster! Apologies in advance if i offend anybody with these words. I feel torn tonight..
    deej200 deej200 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2015

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    My head hurts. For the past couple of months my

    symptoms were being triggered by what I suspect to be a narcissist. I was sucked in to his cycle of discard and being placed on pedestal. Or maybe I was swinging between black and white. Well, somewhere between perceiving abandonment and invalidating my emotions I was on a...
    allinlove allinlove 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 31

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    It sucks. If you even feel a tinge of

    abandonment, you turn into this insecure, self-destructive monster. You start fights or start thinking that it'll never end & everyone will leave. You start wondering if you're even good enough. I hate it. I hate this feeling.
    Susananais Susananais 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    In the past month, a lot has happened.

    I'll warn you in advance that this is a long post, but I think it might help some of you to feel less alone. I hope it does. So. I dated a guy named Shawn for about 5 months last year. One day, he told me he had been talking about our relationship problems with his female...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 6 Responses May 10, 2015

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    I'm taking control of my disorder.

    I'll ride through the emotions it brings me, feel them fully, and let them go as they pass rather than clinging for dear life and desperately attaching to them. I have to take my thoughts, my emotions, and my bodily sensations and say, this is my life. I am in control of it; you...
    twistedxalice twistedxalice 22-25, F Feb 3

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    Well, I did it again.

    I let my thoughts bubble up into a fit of rage. I am so bitter and cold today. It all started this morning. Waking up , realizing this is it for now. I am stuck at home almost always. This doesn't bother me everyday because I love being a full time mom. What I don't love is...
    ashless ashless 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    Recently diagnosed, learning coping strategies.

    .. Feels like if I even go near the thoughts I'm supposed to challenge, it amplifies them and makes them so scary... I fight against not self harming and I'm proud to say I never have even tho I imagine it must feel great... But when I started trying to manage my thoughts it got...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 31

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    I have a question for those of you

    who have also been given this diagnosis. I was diagnosed about 1.5 years ago, and it has certainly been the worst period of my life. I feel like I'm in a fog, and I can never trust my judgement. I'm completely debilitated by it at the moment. My question: Did you find...
    DanicaER DanicaER 36-40, F 7 Responses Jan 29

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    Do you ever notice the closer you get to

    someone (romantically) the stronger your fear of abandonment gets??
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Sep 10, 2015

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    I had a friend who I really liked talking to,

    but for a year now, he repulses me and I hate him. I don't have any interest in talking to him anymore. My brain makes me think he's stuck-up and annoying, which makes me feel awful about myself as a person.
    ghostofthesun ghostofthesun 22-25, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Yes I always stand on Mexican border saying

    hello to different persons...i need Help!!
    Engine9 Engine9 31-35, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Having borderline personality is like being

    normal but intensified. You feel like your mind is pure chaos and you try to act as normal as you can be so no one’s figures it out: That you are different and that you don’t belong.
    Blueborder21 Blueborder21 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 27

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    Like the Hoover Dam Collapsed...

    I have no idea how long I have had BPD, but I've known what it was for eight years now. I started working to fix myself from that moment on. For about five years, I have felt like it was completely under control. But then yesterday was a bad day. Subjectively I can look at it...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 44 Responses Apr 1, 2008

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    I finally know what it's like to feel content

    and not frantically feel the need for someone. It's a very nice feeling. It's a calm in the storm. I've been feeling this way for a couple weeks now. I'm grateful for it. I have even been sleeping at night. Super happy about it all.
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 17, 2015

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