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I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,617 People

    I hate this ******* disorder!

    I hate getting attached to people, I hate feeling lonely and unwanted, I hate being so needy. I just want someone to look after me but my social anxiety is so bad and I get so irritated with people that I feel like I'll never even make friends.
    princesabecca princesabecca 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 16

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    The Joyful Life of a Borderline/sociopath.

    I live in a world where everyone is a cardboard cutout, a puppet, a means to an end, a fling to be discarded, a way to find connection, to plaster-over the lonelyness of my irreperable disconnection from mankind. I'm a borderline, but I'm also a sociopath. It's a really weird...
    Phage Phage 26-30, F 142 Responses Feb 18, 2009

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    Some Ppl Shouldn't Be Here

    OK....I am starting to realize that some people on this page shouldn't be here. This is not a joke. It is where some of us who really need to get advice and release pain,to turn to for strength and support. This group is callled "I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER." . If you...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 9 Responses Sep 5, 2012

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    I am have been diagnosed

    as with borderline personality disorder last year.Such a relief.I think I have had it for 10 years and have inherited it from my mother.Who I forgive,If she goes through that much emotional pain as me,I forgive her. We tend to bear more than we can actually take.Very few people...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 9

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    seeairahx seeairahx 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 8

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    I get attached to people on here

    and then they disappear and I feel upset and lonely again. I just want someone to look after me :(
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 14

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    Well, I did it again.

    I let my thoughts bubble up into a fit of rage. I am so bitter and cold today. It all started this morning. Waking up , realizing this is it for now. I am stuck at home almost always. This doesn't bother me everyday because I love being a full time mom. What I don't love is...
    ashless ashless 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    Yeah. Very clearly so.

    For as long as I can remember. Which is really only as far back as 13 and bits and pieces beforehand. I was under 18 when they wanted to officially diagnose me but couldnt because of my age. So now I need to go back. I don't know. I used to be medicated. Which helped some but...
    Faett Faett 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 13

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    Has anyone ever tried DBT?

    can someone explain this to me or give me some tips?
    Kikiana1 Kikiana1 18-21, F Jul 17

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    I am (almost can't believe it) peaceful

    since yesterday night and today.I am usually a lot of emotions,but never peaceful,never.The instances where I have been peaceful,I can probably count them on my fingers.Usually peace in me ,is replaced by emptiness,hollowness,and a yearning for something i don't understand,like...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 3

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    One of the hardest things about it is not

    really knowing who yiu truly are
    yesiigarciaa yesiigarciaa 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 25, 2014

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    Can Anyone Relate?

    I'm not going to write out my long history because to be honest I've worked hard to try to block out alot of it. I fear opening that door to my memories would be risky and dangerous. My first incident/hospitalization was at 9 years old. After doing research I diagnosed myself at...
    deleted deleted 26-30 13 Responses Feb 2, 2009

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    And it's awful. There are constantly shifting

    identities it's like being in a constant love/hate triangle with three cartoonishly exaggerated versions of myself. I say horrible things that I may or may not mean, I hurt people I care about, I feel everything and nothing all at once, I'm prone to emotional outbursts, and my...
    PersonalApocalypse PersonalApocalypse 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 11

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    So lately everyday has been a struggle.

    Everyday with some kind of episode and I can't snap out of it for long before I plunge back into it. My boyfriend is more than understanding and tells me how much he loves me how beautiful I am and let's me full blown lash out at him then say sorry... Now I'm in a depressed hate...
    xoxoFireyIcexoxo xoxoFireyIcexoxo 26-30, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    I'm in nursing school

    and supposed to graduate in December. But I'm scared bc I'm so emotional. I'm afraid I'll have a full on breakdown or be stuck in a black hole and not recognize something wrong with a patient. Even though I feel I'm competent as far as skills, sometimes I have really bad days...
    theresnotone theresnotone 31-35, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    BPD. A disorder that is relatively common,

    but can ruin a life in a matter of months. My life was ruined, but a lot of people don't understand how. I have no friends, and have been in multiple abusive situations. Verbal and sexual. Do you know whats it's like to have to explain to people when they ask about the scar...
    annfgates annfgates 18-21, F 7 Responses Feb 8, 2014

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    Tomorrow I have group.

    We were suppose to count our judgements. Every time I think about it I say I'll do it when time is right. That is my life. I wait until everything is right. I work for it to be perfectly right. And I never get anything done, therefore, life passes me by as I chase for "Right."
    allinlove allinlove 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 20

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    sometimes i dont feel like writing i find every

    fricken dau is the same i hate getting up mood is so low all the time i just dont like going out i feel like a fat pig as i eat for boredom or to fill the hole so lonely want o hide from the world i neededa home with adad and a mom why do i feel like this im 48 sorry for...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F Jul 17

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    Lately , I've been trying to cover up my

    feelings a lot, most of them consist of social anxiety and everything feeling surreal, and anger/ irritation that can't be relieved. Honestly I thought that I had gotten a lot better than I was before , but it's just been escalating recently, I still haven't self-harmed in over...
    athenalovlies athenalovlies 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 13

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    I'm hanging on thread

    that I want to cut so much. But I can't because even though I know I'm of no real value to my children if I slit my wrist and let all the pain drain out, I would scar my children forever.
    theresnotone theresnotone 31-35, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I just have to accept the fact

    that no guy is ever gonna want to keep me around. I used to say I live for love, and now i don't know what the **** I live for. Life is one ****** up cycle of ****** up **** happening in ****** up orders because of ****** up circumstances and everything is ******. And I feel...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 10 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    Update....

    To all borderliners,I feel compelled to write to you, but what I want to say isn't clear yet in my head.  I'm just going to go with it.  Bear with me.For a couple of weeks I've been getting dialectical behaviour therapy, this is similar to CBT in as much as it teaches you...
    charlie248 charlie248 36-40, F 32 Responses May 8, 2012

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    Alone With Bpd

    I was just recently diagnosed with BPD after a third suicide attempt. I was diagnosed as Bipolar considering my father was Bipolar and shot himself a few years ago. I am 26 years old and so far my life has been filled with pain no matter how much I try to fight it. I have been on...
    lissa lissa 46-50, F 11 Responses Jun 15, 2007

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    I've noticed that my borderline traits pretty

    much go away when I'm not in a relationship, but as soon as I fall in love I go crazy. Having bpd is hell, I'd rather be single and not have to deal with it.
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9

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    Does anyone else constantly feel like you're

    not good enough, not important enough, not loved enough when you're in a relationship, even if the person you're with does all they can to show you otherwise? I have this feeling of desperation that I can't let go of.. He has so many friends and he's always so busy, and I just...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 11 Responses Apr 23

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    Borderline Are Extremely Intelligence And Creative.

    Borderline are extremely intelligence and creative. We struggle to create and give birth to ourselves through our work and intellectual pursuit instead of mundane (...) normal people standards. Everyday, Every Night, we splinted and twisted into multiple personalities that...
    triratna triratna 31-35 3 Responses Oct 5, 2013

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    Like the Hoover Dam Collapsed...

    I have no idea how long I have had BPD, but I've known what it was for eight years now. I started working to fix myself from that moment on. For about five years, I have felt like it was completely under control. But then yesterday was a bad day. Subjectively I can look at it...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 45 Responses Apr 1, 2008

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    this is why our husbands have no idea

    why we are made at them. *hit blunt *smoking a cig thinking, i would go in there and watch tv with him if he would just let me watch what i want to watch every once in a while. i walk in bed room and say are you done with the remote yet?
    LITVET LITVET 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 6

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    So an interesting thing was brought up to me.

    .. We tend to focus so much on the downside of BPD we don't often see the positive things. We're passionate, creative, to the point, individualistic, protective of others, empathetic, forgiving, full of love, loyal, and never boring. Of course each of these may not apply to...
    EngulfingBreeze EngulfingBreeze 26-30, F 6 Responses Apr 3, 2014

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    To all the people who look down on,

    degrade and ridicule people with BPD I would like to invite you to come walk a mile in our shoes!
    Yu12 Yu12 26-30, M 4 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    Borderline Personality Disorder.

    People with borderline personality disorder are unstable in several areas, including interpersonal relationships, behavior, mood, and self-image. Abrupt and extreme mood changes, stormy interpersonal relationships, an unstable and fluctuating self-image, unpredictable and self...
    ReachingNirvana ReachingNirvana 22-25, M 5 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    If people stopped complaining And give more

    attentions And care And love . Allot people with ( disorders 😣i hate that word) dont have to take meds , so they Will be accepteble in others peoples life
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 6

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    I cry when people die in the movies.

    Not because I'm sad for the loss, but because I'm jealous.
    missmalky missmalky 18-21, T 1 Response Jul 9

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    Saw the movie shame.That is exactly how it is

    being borderline.I think I am somewhere in between.Being Demisexual,empath and borderline is a strange **** up of emotions.You have love addiction,you chase men like a drug,you fall for the ones who you know can't love you,yet you trade sex for a connect.And break down when it...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses May 8

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    So the appointment I had on Monday got cancelled

    because of something to do with my insurance. This is the second time I've made an appointment and it has been cancelled on me. There's only one person in my area who specializes in BPD and she is fully booked. I've made so many phone calls to find help and its not working. I've...
    Kikiana1 Kikiana1 18-21, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    It feels like this is pretty much the only

    group I post anymore, I just feel like everything I go through can be understood by the people here. Anyway, I had another ER visit, and now I'm in the hospital. I've been admitted to a unit and I'm on a Form 1 (for those of you outside of Canada, that means I'm an involuntary...
    missmalky missmalky 18-21, T Jul 14

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    I hate how I can feel a sad episode coming on

    yet there is nothing I can do to stop it from coming.
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 7, 2014

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    Back to ep after a while.

    So I put down my to do list as only one item a day,to make my life a little less hellish.I think it is working.Let me see how that goes.I have created few blogs on wordpress for bpd.I will link all of you in time. Love and hugs to everyone.
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F Jul 12

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    Escape From Borderland

       I wrote an essay on borderline personality disorder awhile ago, I hope it helps some of you. I realize that it's kind of long but I included some information as well as my experience with it. Enjoy!!      A person...
    Skyyyy Skyyyy 18-21, F 25 Responses Jun 16, 2010

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    I'm a twenty two year old slightly overweight

    single lesbian woman who is mainly looking for friends of older age. I battle borderline personality disorder, which makes socializing of many kinds, including support groups, an uphill battle. I struggle to see the good in people who are well meaning but don't understand how...
    rainbowsmangos2015 rainbowsmangos2015 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Over time I've realised

    that BPD has made me a Chameleon. I change my colours depending on who I'm with. I've done this for as long as I can remember. I've realised that I don't do this because I want to impress people or to get people to like me but because of 2 reasons, 1) so people can't get too...
    LewisCollins LewisCollins 31-35 4 Responses Jul 7, 2014

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    Me right. You agree you right.

    You bark at me how me is wrong. Me call you moron. And say go hump cactus.
    Converted Converted 46-50, M 1 Response Jul 7

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    It sucks. If you even feel a tinge of

    abandonment, you turn into this insecure, self-destructive monster. You start fights or start thinking that it'll never end & everyone will leave. You start wondering if you're even good enough. I hate it. I hate this feeling.
    Susananais Susananais 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    My Final Ep Story

    Well everyone, I found what I was looking for. I didn’t even realize I was looking for anything, or that it would take so damn long to find. But I found it. Peace. I’m finally at peace with everything. With myself, my future, my political beliefs, my religious beliefs...
    tangledx22 tangledx22 22-25, F 7 Responses Mar 10, 2012

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    In the past month, a lot has happened.

    I'll warn you in advance that this is a long post, but I think it might help some of you to feel less alone. I hope it does. So. I dated a guy named Shawn for about 5 months last year. One day, he told me he had been talking about our relationship problems with his female...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 6 Responses May 10

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    how come i'm constantly wanting love

    and affection and pushing people away when they show the tiniest bit of uninterest
    seeairahx seeairahx 16-17, F 4 Responses Jul 8

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