Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,584 People

    Having BPD, depression

    and social anxiety and trying to be a good wife and good mother is a big struggle. I know I'm not good enough for my husband, he deserves the world, someone who absolutely adores him and loves him. I'm always in doubt of my feelings, half of the time I barely want to get out of...
    queenofdragons8 queenofdragons8 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    In the past month, a lot has happened.

    I'll warn you in advance that this is a long post, but I think it might help some of you to feel less alone. I hope it does. So. I dated a guy named Shawn for about 5 months last year. One day, he told me he had been talking about our relationship problems with his female...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 6 Responses May 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hope this helps. I came across a question

    somewhere about a guy who seemed to have textbook signs of bpd,and was in pain.I could not answer that question then,but I will answer it here. How do you get things done as a bpd? Do one thing.I mean,one browser sort of one thing.Do it all the time.I know other people do...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am so empty feel lonely I love my husband

    like crazy then we fight and my love turns to anger and hate them I get depressed love him again it's a horrible cycle. Sometimes I feel like he should move on with his life I do stupid things in the moment that make me feel better but in the end it messes with my head and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Rev #1 Normal

    Normal? Normal: A self-created standard in the American household. Is there any idea left such as this? It was as if I craved nothing more than to be considered as so. It has no meaning left to someone in a world so full of ever-changing standards. In my mind I was far from the...
    LostInBPD LostInBPD 22-25, M 10 Responses Feb 6, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Borderline Are Extremely Intelligence And Creative.

    Borderline are extremely intelligence and creative. We struggle to create and give birth to ourselves through our work and intellectual pursuit instead of mundane (...) normal people standards. Everyday, Every Night, we splinted and twisted into multiple personalities that...
    triratna triratna 31-35 3 Responses Oct 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's as if I'm drowning in a sea of pain.

    I don't understand anything when it comes to this disorder. I don't understand why it has to make us feel the way we do. I know we all deal with rejection poorly (to put it lightly) but for some reason it hits me especially hard. Anytime i have tried to flirt with a girl and...
    ginganinja33 ginganinja33 18-21, M 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Those of us who suffer BPD know

    where hell really is. It's inside us. No escaping the agony, pain and torture. No reprieve. It's in every moment of our day, our dreams and our thoughts. It infects everything. It controls everything. It poisons every aspect of our life. It must be the loneliest condition there...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 4 Responses Aug 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate how I can feel a sad episode coming on

    yet there is nothing I can do to stop it from coming.
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've noticed that my borderline traits pretty

    much go away when I'm not in a relationship, but as soon as I fall in love I go crazy. Having bpd is hell, I'd rather be single and not have to deal with it.
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Over time I've realised

    that BPD has made me a Chameleon. I change my colours depending on who I'm with. I've done this for as long as I can remember. I've realised that I don't do this because I want to impress people or to get people to like me but because of 2 reasons, 1) so people can't get too...
    LewisCollins LewisCollins 31-35 4 Responses Jul 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'M Scared.

    I'm having trouble figuring myself out, who I am or what I want to be. I'm trying to make friends and keep them and have something more than what I know I'm not happy with now. I'm very depressed, I'm confused, I'm unable to see the positive side of things. It's scaring me...
    Iyric Iyric 18-21, F 24 Responses Feb 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Alone With Bpd

    I was just recently diagnosed with BPD after a third suicide attempt. I was diagnosed as Bipolar considering my father was Bipolar and shot himself a few years ago. I am 26 years old and so far my life has been filled with pain no matter how much I try to fight it. I have been on...
    lissa lissa 46-50, F 11 Responses Jun 15, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    To all the people who look down on,

    degrade and ridicule people with BPD I would like to invite you to come walk a mile in our shoes!
    Yu12 Yu12 26-30, M 4 Responses Sep 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Me and my mum clash! She thinks I'm attention

    seeking, needy and self absorbed. I resent my mum, she brought me into this world against my will, and she shows me no love. I have never felt wanted or loved. Around her I feel on edge, I can never live up to her expectations and no matter how hard I try I can never be...
    busybrain busybrain 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It sucks. If you even feel a tinge of

    abandonment, you turn into this insecure, self-destructive monster. You start fights or start thinking that it'll never end & everyone will leave. You start wondering if you're even good enough. I hate it. I hate this feeling.
    Susananais Susananais 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Final Ep Story

    Well everyone, I found what I was looking for. I didn’t even realize I was looking for anything, or that it would take so damn long to find. But I found it. Peace. I’m finally at peace with everything. With myself, my future, my political beliefs, my religious beliefs...
    tangledx22 tangledx22 22-25, F 7 Responses Mar 10, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Am i the only one who compares my life to

    that of others?.... And wish i had a different one? Feels alone so much?... I dont get the meaning of this.
    nexusevangelion nexusevangelion 18-21, M Jun 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    One of the hardest things about it is not

    really knowing who yiu truly are
    yesiigarciaa yesiigarciaa 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 25, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Some Ppl Shouldn't Be Here

    OK....I am starting to realize that some people on this page shouldn't be here. This is not a joke. It is where some of us who really need to get advice and release pain,to turn to for strength and support. This group is callled "I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER." . If you...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 9 Responses Sep 5, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm obsessed with a man in a different country

    who doesn't want me so I'm intent on ruining his life.
    janiegirlUK janiegirlUK 41-45, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Joyful Life of a Borderline/sociopath.

    I live in a world where everyone is a cardboard cutout, a puppet, a means to an end, a fling to be discarded, a way to find connection, to plaster-over the lonelyness of my irreperable disconnection from mankind. I'm a borderline, but I'm also a sociopath. It's a really weird...
    Phage Phage 26-30, F 142 Responses Feb 18, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Saw the movie shame.That is exactly how it is

    being borderline.I think I am somewhere in between.Being Demisexual,empath and borderline is a strange **** up of emotions.You have love addiction,you chase men like a drug,you fall for the ones who you know can't love you,yet you trade sex for a connect.And break down when it...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses May 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm in this state of euphoria at the moment

    where everything is going to be okay and I'm going to get a job and find somebody who'll love me but I'm lying to myself and i know deep down I'm really quite sad
    snowflxke snowflxke 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    BPD. A disorder that is relatively common,

    but can ruin a life in a matter of months. My life was ruined, but a lot of people don't understand how. I have no friends, and have been in multiple abusive situations. Verbal and sexual. Do you know whats it's like to have to explain to people when they ask about the scar...
    annfgates annfgates 18-21, F 7 Responses Feb 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Rules for dating someone with Borderline

    Personality Disorder: 1. Do not invalidate our feelings 2. Do not leave us alone for extended periods of time 3. Always make us feel like the number one priority 4. Make plenty of time to spend with us, alone 5. Do not get angry when we fail to see the gray 6. Be supportive 7...
    shoxic shoxic 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So, I wake up to find out my mom stopped my

    therapy. Told them I didn't need it anymore. I have bpd, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, ptsd, and 2 eating disorders.. I need my therapy. Why the hell would you do that? Stupid *****.
    Suicidekisses Suicidekisses 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've Noticed Something...

    That infuriates me to the core. (Isn't uncontrollable anger a symptom? Hahaaaaaa, I don't care.) It seems that whenever BPD is brought up by someone who does not have it or has witnessed emotionally distraught/unstable people that do have BPD, it's always "Run for the hills! They...
    AmandaMarlee AmandaMarlee 18-21, F 6 Responses May 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    sadpotatochip sadpotatochip 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's not in my plans to "have" this condition

    forever. I will keep working on myself but today I'm just wondering how many more friendships will I lose and how many more chaotic relationships until I conquer this ? I sort of just lost someone very important today, the girl I am in love with, but we were just friends. She...
    DifferentbyNature DifferentbyNature 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There's nothing worse

    than trying to be happy, when ur not happy. Trying to be okay, when's nothings okay. Trying to live when everything makes you suffocate. Wanting to live but not being able 2. Having... you can't trust. Holding a knife to your wrist but can't cut. Realizing ur ****** up and...
    kayleisma kayleisma 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just have to accept the fact

    that no guy is ever gonna want to keep me around. I used to say I live for love, and now i don't know what the **** I live for. Life is one ****** up cycle of ****** up **** happening in ****** up orders because of ****** up circumstances and everything is ******. And I feel...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 10 Responses Nov 12, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I haven't been diagnosed with borderline

    personality but I know my behaviour isn't normal. I have an overwhelming feeling of emptiness. As a teenager I was anorexic, and I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. Three suicide attempts But I'm still here and I'm walking in the darkness of...
    busybrain busybrain 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Just found out that I have Histronic P.

    O. not the bipolar I've been taking meds for years for. So down. What a mess I've become and what a fricken fool I've made over the years of myself.
    shaymenae shaymenae 46-50, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I think I should just die.

    No one gets alone with the real me. I have 1 friend and am losing a lover... * sigh*
    BurnMyDread BurnMyDread 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm sorry. I'm sorry

    that you have to go through BPD And I'm sorry I have to go through BPD It's not easy at all. And it's hard for people to understand that what we do, or how we feel, it very hard for us to control. I'm sorry, you don't deserve to live with BPD I'm sorry, I don't deserve to live...
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F 1 Response May 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Lying in bed, I feel

    as though the life has been sucked out of me. No energy. My rooms smells of cigarettes and there are empty wine bottles on my floor. I lie in bed full clothed. Emotionally drained. I feel disabled with depression. I can't pull myself together to function today. I...
    busybrain busybrain 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    anyone with bpd on certain meds?

    im 40mg daily on prozac but i still have radical shift in mood and behavior so should i be on a mood stabilizer or antipsychotic?
    bloodyborgiabastard bloodyborgiabastard 26-30, M 4 Responses Jun 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Does anyone else constantly feel like you're

    not good enough, not important enough, not loved enough when you're in a relationship, even if the person you're with does all they can to show you otherwise? I have this feeling of desperation that I can't let go of.. He has so many friends and he's always so busy, and I just...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 12 Responses Apr 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm sitting here on my own sipping wine

    straight out the bottle, with the television playing in the background. I can feel a rage bubbling inside of me, I feel angry, hurt and let down by certain people. These are the people who are supposed to care for me, but they show me no love. I'm tired of being alone, I...
    busybrain busybrain 26-30, F 1 Response 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Borderline personality disorder is ruining

    my life.The disorder make me very afraid of abandonment and have mood swings.I have a lot of anger and can't stand when people rejected me. I keep falling in love with authority figure woman i can never have. Right now i am in love with my social worker. :( Whenever i am...
    Iloveowl Iloveowl 26-30, F 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What an awful existence.

    A combination of childhood traumas and inherited brain chemistry, making one sad sack of a human being. Always jumping to the worst conclusion, always a wreck. How is it that I'm 29 and married to my best friend? Why would he put up with me for all these years?! I have good days...
    BigBaddaBoom BigBaddaBoom 26-30, F 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So I'm due on Friday to get a diagnosis

    for what I'm sure will be borderline personally disorder. When I was younger I had a psychiatric assessment done and borderline was suggested but that I was to young for them to diagnose me being 17 at the time. Now 24 and a lot of unstable relationships later I'm determined to...
    Livingwithbpd Livingwithbpd 22-25, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Positive traits of those with BPD: 1.

    Passionate-experience extreme intensity of passion when we find something that interests us 2. Individual-strongly cultivate our individuality and enjoy applying our abilities to new tasks 3. Spontaneous-we live in the moment doing whatever it is we feel we want to do at that...
    kavlynn99 kavlynn99 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 21, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am.beginning to feel I should not tell

    professionals I have borderline personality disorder. I should just say clinical depression.
    molliebawn31 molliebawn31 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Like the Hoover Dam Collapsed...

    I have no idea how long I have had BPD, but I've known what it was for eight years now. I started working to fix myself from that moment on. For about five years, I have felt like it was completely under control. But then yesterday was a bad day. Subjectively I can look at it...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 45 Responses Apr 1, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel