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I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,527 People

    I'M Scared.

    I'm having trouble figuring myself out, who I am or what I want to be. I'm trying to make friends and keep them and have something more than what I know I'm not happy with now. I'm very depressed, I'm confused, I'm unable to see the positive side of things. It's scaring me...
    Iyric Iyric 18-21, F 24 Responses Feb 5, 2013

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    today is the worst day ever!

    ! :'( my paranois is really starting to hit me hard I just wanna break down..I hate feeling like this not good enough I hate having these thoughts in my head...I just wanna escape...
    DalaKumono DalaKumono 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Some Ppl Shouldn't Be Here

    OK....I am starting to realize that some people on this page shouldn't be here. This is not a joke. It is where some of us who really need to get advice and release pain,to turn to for strength and support. This group is callled "I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER." . If you...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 8 Responses Sep 5, 2012

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    sometimes i hate being on her enot you guys i

    have to force myself to i feel like crap nothing helps so much pain i want to give up i feel lost and i dont know waht im tired of people hurting ot abusing me i want peopel like that pay they are bad people i wan tto i feel ldea dand poison insid ei know i put myself to the...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    vishar vishar 18-21, M 1 Response May 14

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    SoulSearcherLover SoulSearcherLover 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    Borderline Are Extremely Intelligence And Creative.

    Borderline are extremely intelligence and creative. We struggle to create and give birth to ourselves through our work and intellectual pursuit instead of mundane (...) normal people standards. Everyday, Every Night, we splinted and twisted into multiple personalities that...
    triratna triratna 31-35 3 Responses Oct 5, 2013

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    Well, I did it again.

    I let my thoughts bubble up into a fit of rage. I am so bitter and cold today. It all started this morning. Waking up , realizing this is it for now. I am stuck at home almost always. This doesn't bother me everyday because I love being a full time mom. What I don't love is...
    ashless ashless 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    How Can You Bring Someone Into This Nightmare?

    I feel great now, and I'm determined to be better, but I know I'll fall. I know I'll make mistakes. How do I let someone close to me when I know I'll hurt them at some point and feel hurt by them? I'm so afraid I'm destined to forever be alone, just so I'm the only one hurt. I...
    chiamonkie chiamonkie 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 1, 2012

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    Positive traits of those with BPD: 1.

    Passionate-experience extreme intensity of passion when we find something that interests us 2. Individual-strongly cultivate our individuality and enjoy applying our abilities to new tasks 3. Spontaneous-we live in the moment doing whatever it is we feel we want to do at that...
    kavlynn99 kavlynn99 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    BPD. A disorder that is relatively common,

    but can ruin a life in a matter of months. My life was ruined, but a lot of people don't understand how. I have no friends, and have been in multiple abusive situations. Verbal and sexual. Do you know whats it's like to have to explain to people when they ask about the scar...
    annfgates annfgates 18-21, F 7 Responses Feb 8, 2014

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    I am have been diagnosed

    as with borderline personality disorder last year.Such a relief.I think I have had it for 10 years and have inherited it from my mother.Who I forgive,If she goes through that much emotional pain as me,I forgive her. We tend to bear more than we can actually take.Very few people...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 9

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    I just have to accept the fact

    that no guy is ever gonna want to keep me around. I used to say I live for love, and now i don't know what the **** I live for. Life is one ****** up cycle of ****** up **** happening in ****** up orders because of ****** up circumstances and everything is ******. And I feel...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 10 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    Borderline Personality Disorder.

    People with borderline personality disorder are unstable in several areas, including interpersonal relationships, behavior, mood, and self-image. Abrupt and extreme mood changes, stormy interpersonal relationships, an unstable and fluctuating self-image, unpredictable and self...
    ReachingNirvana ReachingNirvana 22-25, M 5 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    One of the hardest things about it is not

    really knowing who yiu truly are
    yesiigarciaa yesiigarciaa 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 25, 2014

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    im not sure i have bpd

    but this is the best category i could think to post in. i feel like a sheet of paper. blank. i emulate other people and fictional characters but they dont represent me. i feel like i am nothing. i... dont know how to explain myself
    gemmed gemmed 13-15, F 1 Response May 20

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    I NEED TO VENT IM FEELING CRAPPY IM TIRED AND

    WORN OUT AS THEDAY HASNT BEGUN YET I HAVENT SLEPT A WEEK I HAVE TO GO TO MENTAL HEALTH I FEEL LIKEI JUST DONT WANT TO GO O I LOATHE GOING THERE AS I DONT GET NOTHING OUT OF IT IM FRICKEN ANGRY THAT I LOST MY FATHER IM ALSO FEELING REALLY SCRED MY BASCK HURTS I HURT IM ALLOWE DTO...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 3 days ago

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    Rev #1 Normal

    Normal? Normal: A self-created standard in the American household. Is there any idea left such as this? It was as if I craved nothing more than to be considered as so. It has no meaning left to someone in a world so full of ever-changing standards. In my mind I was far from the...
    LostInBPD LostInBPD 22-25, M 9 Responses Feb 6, 2013

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    i just feel really bad today.

    ..i keep taking sleeping pills so that i will just go back to sleep but its not working....i wish i could disappear...i wish i was never born....i hate who i am. today is a really bad day, no amount of distraction is helping right now. i wish this would end....
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I just hate feeling so alone

    but also feeling like its my fault.
    SoulSearcherLover SoulSearcherLover 18-21, F May 17

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    My Final Ep Story

    Well everyone, I found what I was looking for. I didn’t even realize I was looking for anything, or that it would take so damn long to find. But I found it. Peace. I’m finally at peace with everything. With myself, my future, my political beliefs, my religious beliefs...
    tangledx22 tangledx22 22-25, F 7 Responses Mar 10, 2012

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    i need to vent i needed my dad see

    now im buried it i needed my father he was always at work i was blow drying my hair and i felt like i was goin goff the deepend no pain i gues si dont want to feel the pain but i wan tto im tired of being sick i want to go to bed im a fat ugly popig i have a cold and allergies i...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F 30 mins ago

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    My borderline is getting worse these few days.

    I have sort of over dosing on anxiety pills.Between the trade off of being in extreme pain,and being somewhat okay I chose whatever sense of sanity I get.But I am on 6 pills a day nowadays.I need to find real life substitutes.Hey,at least I am not suicidal. I hate letting people...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses May 17

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    I get into so many fights with my good friends

    - like yelling at the top of my lungs fighting. My temper/desperation for love and approval are a horrible mix.
    SoulSearcherLover SoulSearcherLover 18-21, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    It sucks. If you even feel a tinge of

    abandonment, you turn into this insecure, self-destructive monster. You start fights or start thinking that it'll never end & everyone will leave. You start wondering if you're even good enough. I hate it. I hate this feeling.
    Susananais Susananais 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    SoulSearcherLover SoulSearcherLover 18-21, F 8 hrs ago

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    needing to vent not that it helps i was worried

    about brother as he hasnt been on face book i told him about mom hes i create drama all i did was reach out nobody see if he cares i hatew the mANstarts bringing up things like bad choices weve made and mu mpom that wa sher past 39 years ago react to him he said im not a...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F May 18

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    Those of us who suffer BPD know

    where hell really is. It's inside us. No escaping the agony, pain and torture. No reprieve. It's in every moment of our day, our dreams and our thoughts. It infects everything. It controls everything. It poisons every aspect of our life. It must be the loneliest condition there...
    AussieAZ AussieAZ 41-45, M 4 Responses Aug 28, 2014

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    I've noticed that my borderline traits pretty

    much go away when I'm not in a relationship, but as soon as I fall in love I go crazy. Having bpd is hell, I'd rather be single and not have to deal with it.
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9

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    nessa88 nessa88 26-30, F May 16

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    In the past month, a lot has happened.

    I'll warn you in advance that this is a long post, but I think it might help some of you to feel less alone. I hope it does. So. I dated a guy named Shawn for about 5 months last year. One day, he told me he had been talking about our relationship problems with his female...
    Rosaalie Rosaalie 18-21, F 6 Responses May 10

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    i am afraid of people.

    ..being around them, talkng to them... is anyone else this way? if so...how do you deal with it?
    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F 1 Response May 15

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    I'm sorry. I'm sorry

    that you have to go through BPD And I'm sorry I have to go through BPD It's not easy at all. And it's hard for people to understand that what we do, or how we feel, it very hard for us to control. I'm sorry, you don't deserve to live with BPD I'm sorry, I don't deserve to live...
    betelgeusex3 betelgeusex3 22-25, F 1 Response May 24, 2014

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    I realize now how much having borderline

    personality puts a damper on your relationships. It makes everything feel so unstable. And it's like I am scared to lose anybody in my life, that I try too hard to make them stay and it ends up having the opposite effect. I used to think I was more than my mental illness. But I...
    KairiKipling KairiKipling 18-21, F 1 Response May 18

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    So an interesting thing was brought up to me.

    .. We tend to focus so much on the downside of BPD we don't often see the positive things. We're passionate, creative, to the point, individualistic, protective of others, empathetic, forgiving, full of love, loyal, and never boring. Of course each of these may not apply to...
    EngulfingBreeze EngulfingBreeze 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 3, 2014

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    I hate how I can feel a sad episode coming on

    yet there is nothing I can do to stop it from coming.
    aligain aligain 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 7, 2014

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    Over time I've realised

    that BPD has made me a Chameleon. I change my colours depending on who I'm with. I've done this for as long as I can remember. I've realised that I don't do this because I want to impress people or to get people to like me but because of 2 reasons, 1) so people can't get too...
    LewisCollins LewisCollins 31-35 4 Responses Jul 7, 2014

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    Is anyone else a "quiet borderline?

    " I'm an introvert, which makes it kind of hard to relate to other bpd sufferers sometimes. Many people (especially family members) underestimate my emotional instability because I turn it all inward (most of the time) I was just wondering if anyone has a similar issue.
    SlothSweater SlothSweater 13-15, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    Update....

    To all borderliners,I feel compelled to write to you, but what I want to say isn't clear yet in my head.  I'm just going to go with it.  Bear with me.For a couple of weeks I've been getting dialectical behaviour therapy, this is similar to CBT in as much as it teaches you...
    charlie248 charlie248 36-40, F 33 Responses May 8, 2012

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    The Joyful Life of a Borderline/sociopath.

    I live in a world where everyone is a cardboard cutout, a puppet, a means to an end, a fling to be discarded, a way to find connection, to plaster-over the lonelyness of my irreperable disconnection from mankind. I'm a borderline, but I'm also a sociopath. It's a really weird...
    Phage Phage 26-30, F 142 Responses Feb 18, 2009

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    bloodRedd bloodRedd 26-30, F May 13

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    I'm really trying this time

    but if he does not walk out the door and leave me eventually he will die. So either way he will leave me.
    SirsKnottyGirl SirsKnottyGirl 26-30, F 1 Response May 13

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    i need to vent im feeling funny

    and screwed this is scarying me ihav eno energy no nothing i need to kick a ball no i nee dto kick people i dont know wha tim feeling im disconnected from em im feeling so screwed up that i could off myself right now
    hannahabbie hannahabbie 46-50, F a week ago

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    Alone With Bpd

    I was just recently diagnosed with BPD after a third suicide attempt. I was diagnosed as Bipolar considering my father was Bipolar and shot himself a few years ago. I am 26 years old and so far my life has been filled with pain no matter how much I try to fight it. I have been on...
    lissa lissa 46-50, F 11 Responses Jun 15, 2007

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    I'm at the point where I've wrecked my whole

    life and I'm only 26. I had to change and now I'm trying to figure it all out in therapy and using stepping stones...
    kayleisma kayleisma 22-25, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    If you're in Northern New Jersey

    and have a high degree of empathy, join my meetup group. Http://meetup.com/NNJ-Empathy-Meetup/ We already have over 40 members. Our next Meetup is June 10 in Fairlawn, NJ and over 10 people have RSVPed. Why should you join our group? So that you can connect with similar...
    Roxvox Roxvox 31-35, F a week ago

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