I Have Borderline Personality Disorder Forum & Chat Board | What do you do when you feel alone in a room full of people?

I feel so alone. There's not really a room full of people right now, just my sister, but this is how I always feel. Wherever I go, I feel alone. I can't stand it anymore. I keep thinking I need a boyfriend, but I don't want to put this kind of pressure on anyone, and I know I am not ready. I am willing to be used at this point. I just want to be held. I want to feel needed. I want to feel love. I'm in a new state and I don't know anyone. I don't know how to make friends either, so I sit in the house everyday. I met a guy online from where I am, and we went on a date... He was texting me everyday, but then we took it a little too far. I thought it was a mutual decision of just being friends, but he hasn't texted me, and when I text him.... Gahh, I can't even keep my thoughts straight. I won't let myself cry right now like I want to because I don't want my sister to ask what's wrong. She doesn't understand at all what's going on. She took one psychology class in HS, and now thinks she gets it. It's the most annoying thing in the world because nobody who doesn't have this "gets it". I have a reoccuring problem with overdosing, and I can feel the need to do it. It gets me away for awhile, and reminds me of my will to live. I don't know what to do anymore. My mom is a million miles away, in school, and works.. I have no one... I have to stop writing now because I can feel the tears coming to my eyes... will someone please tell me what I can do.....