I Have Borderline Traits

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 276 People

    I Don't Know How I Feel

    The way my mind works has always scared me & I always assumed that was something everyone felt but never voiced. Maybe it is, I really couldn't say. But I was reading something a friend had written about Borderlive Personality Disorder and suddenly I was scared & relieved...
    Timidexcess Timidexcess
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Mar 14, 2010

    I have always had no sense of self,

    no identity. I think this describes is quite nicely. "One of the biggest and most challenging aspects of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is often ‘The Chameleon Effect’ – or ‘mirroring’. This is the constant, unconscious change in the person’s ‘self’, as...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jul 6, 2015

    I Hate This

    I just want this to go away this illness I have and maybe just maybe people wouldn't look down on me.Or maybe they would.Sometimes I cant look at myself in the mirror.I hate what i have become.This monster.No friends or family that care.I'm Angelina and this is how I feel today...
    sexymama42985 sexymama42985
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Aug 9, 2010

    It's getting harder everyday My family don't

    really like me and so they isolate and abandon me I feel so alone...it hurts thinking about love I can't keep a relationship because of my emotional instability I'm impulsive and angry sometimes like I'll do something and just keep crying and telling myself it's not my fault...
    phoenixxrider phoenixxrider
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 11

    One of a Three Or Four Part Series Regarding Bpd

    Growing up with a mother with Borderline Personality Disorder           If you are a parent with borderline personality disorder or any other type of mental illness, do not run away and I hope you don’t take this personally or become defensive...
    ClinicallyClueless ClinicallyClueless
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Jul 26, 2008

    Amae

    “Amae” is a word in Japanese that means sweet dependency. It is a word that embraces our primal need for a sense of oneness and belonging. In the United States, where we work so hard to establish our separateness and independence, our hearts and bodies are left with a deep...
    eagertounfold eagertounfold
    36-40
    1 Response May 19, 2013

    I Do Be The Pittiest Boy, I Do Be That...

    So Ricky, let's think of this as a new slate to write & pour your heart out on, for the world -- ok scratch that, for only those you hold dear...to see. Can you feel anything if the hole is overwhelmingly empty. Does that still count for anything? I feel so discombobulated lately...
    PFRicky PFRicky
    22-25, M
    6 Responses Nov 12, 2011

    My mood has been shifting

    so rapidly today and I've been so irritable, then when I get backlash I immediately feel suicidal, like the scum of the earth. But I still feel stubborn and like I can't back down because the universe is against me. I've gone from idealizing my girlfriend and our relationship to...
    nuagesgris nuagesgris
    18-21
    Jan 8, 2015

    Bikram (Aka Tourniquet Yoga)

    With each new relationship, I throw myself into the fire and beg that I be a flame at least for a little while, before I burn myself to ashes. Bikram yoga is something that is allowing me to tolerate distress in community with others. Never has a practice guaranteed to me that...
    eagertounfold eagertounfold
    36-40
    Mar 9, 2013

    I Hate You,But Please Don'T Leave Me

    so my bf got engaged to me,but i was drunk so i didn't't remember. he didn't't buy me ring, he says he's committed but how do i know,? i feel like hes trying to control me when i am at my weaker points,like when i don't remember things,   now that he has face...
    shayeshaye shayeshaye
    18-21, F
    Feb 1, 2013

    Totally Rational Emotional Reactions In Complete Proportion To The Events They Follow

    NOT! Today I waved my children off, as they return to America to live with their father, on the other side of the Atlantic ocean. I felt a brief dip of sadness and loneliness, totally disproportionate to the level of anguish I should have been feeling. (Remember, Twisted, under...
    MaryIsMyHomeGirl MaryIsMyHomeGirl
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jul 20, 2013

    Extreme Emotions

    I've never actually been officially diagnosed, but sometimes I'm convinced I have BPD. I can get super depressed and emotional over the most trivial things, feeling stuck in this dark cloud of negativity, and even wanting to hurt myself at times. It's something that is hard for...
    annabelle37 annabelle37
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jul 5, 2013

    What I Know Is I Have Been Told That I Am Borderline

    Apparently I have BPD or have Borderline traits. I do have an abandonment issue and abandonment trauma that has to do with my medical trauma from when I was from birth to age 8. During these years I was in and out of the hospital a lot of those years! Anyway, when I get in a...
    carriewolf12 carriewolf12
    26-30, T
    1 Response Dec 24, 2012

    At The Brink

    I am at a place where I am admitting my abuse of substances. I self medicate to try and deal with my deep deep trauma and attempt to hold my life together. Should I quit all that i have accomplished and move home where I can unfold and give up all my pretense and effort? I want...
    eagertounfold eagertounfold
    36-40
    1 Response Oct 18, 2013

    Did You Know You Can Have Borderline Traits Without Actually Having Borderline Personality Disorder?

    It doesnt reall matter anyway. I mean whether you have the traits of the disorder, or the disorder...You feel the same way.  You "need the same therapy". Anyway....My borderline traits have just become apparent to me in the last year despite the fact that I have...
    jawake jawake
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Nov 14, 2007

    Hope For Us

    I am writing because I believe I have been living with BPD since middle school, when I think it begins to manifest. Life has been hell in many ways, and because I come from a neglectful home, I continued to neglect myself and not even permit myself to psychologically fall apart...
    eagertounfold eagertounfold
    36-40
    Mar 6, 2013

    Moving Away From The Pain

    My new mantra is "move away from the pain" . I think us borderlines go towards pain too much. I think it has to do with our underdeveloped skills for self protection and our repetition compulsion. for me the repetition compulsion must be the re-experiencing of abandonment i...
    eagertounfold eagertounfold
    36-40
    2 Responses Jun 9, 2013

    BPD

    For now I only think I have borderline traits. I had more in the past.  When I was in my early 20's I was borderline I think. I was emotionally dependent on my partner, though I tried to avoid showing him. I cut myself. I had rage/anger short moments...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Oct 5, 2009

    The End Part 2

    A few months ago I wrote how my partner told me he could not handle my mental health issues and wanted to leave me. He did not at the time. But he did this weekend. He called me names, blamed me for everything I am, I do, think or believe. He kicked me out of his flat. He was so...
    lostlego lostlego
    22-25
    1 Response Jul 23, 2013

    Do I Have Borderline Personality Disorder?

    I have recently been researching how to cope with some of the things in life that I find difficult and came across a description of Borderline Personality Disorder, and I identify with many of the traits. Maybe someone who has it can tell me if it is likely I have the disorder...
    RemarkablySparkly RemarkablySparkly
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 16, 2012

    A Thought I Didn'T Seriously Consider Until Yesterday Is Becoming An Obsession

    Could I possibly have BDP?.. I honestly don't know what to say, I'm not sure what I'm doing looking for advice/help on an online forum. But things feel so strange to me right now that I'm not even comfortable fully asking for help at the moment. I have always been acutely aware...
    kellydelaney kellydelaney
    22-25, F
    Mar 3, 2013

    BPD Series~part Iv~my Mother and I Have Bpd!

    According to the DSM the criteria to meet borderline personality disorder the five of the following features must be present (however, many people have the traits that are related to other mental health issues or just may not meet the crieteria which means they still have the...
    ClinicallyClueless ClinicallyClueless
    41-45, F
    Aug 12, 2008

    The Blossom Pales In Comparison

         “I recognized within myself the extreme "one or the other" behavioral patterns associated with Borderline Personality Disorder and was able to apply the Mindfulness practices and Dialectical perspective of “DBT” to my life history of extreme "roller coaster...
    gsparky22 gsparky22
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Jun 26, 2013

    http://psychcentral.com/cgi-bin/borderline.

    cgi I took a test. A test to see. I KNOW ITS NOT REAL GOSH. But I scored severe man. I just feel So ANGRY. Must destory something. I stole money to buy something (from parents) HELP. So sad. So angry. Can't control it.... Okay that doesn't keep stuff. Here's a picture...
    AfterFall AfterFall
    22-25, F
    Nov 6, 2014

    I Know That Things Are Broken

    I have always been qualified as a "different" child; one day enjoying my own company, another one mingling and socialising. Shy and quiet but extroverted and loud at the same time. I remember seeing a child psychiatrist when I was about 6 years old. I was being physically and...
    lostlego lostlego
    22-25
    2 Responses Mar 7, 2013

    At first everyone thought it was bipolar what I

    had, but now i'm starting to suspect i have borderline personality disorder and I'm almost so sure of it. I'm a very unstable person and I can go from being so angry and wanting to kill someone to being so calm and peaceful. I can't control my emotions and my emotions are...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses May 2, 2014

    I go to a psychologist

    who says I fit all the criteria for bpd, I'm even doing treatment for it (mbt) but I'm not diagnosed. I don't even understand this.
    xeChloe xeChloe
    13-15, F
    Apr 1, 2014

    My History

    I was born in Southeast Texas. My mother did not want me so she left me in the hospital after I was born. My maternal grandmother who never learned to drive took a cab from the next town over to pick me up and bring me home. I lived with her from then up until I was 11 years old...
    BrokenDamaged BrokenDamaged
    26-30
    3 Responses Dec 11, 2012

    i s/h, i feel flat, im disconnected from people,

    i had psychosis, i question who i am... etc etc
    Pandorazz Pandorazz
    26-30
    1 Response May 9, 2014

    Borderline Personality Disorder

    it feels as if all my life i knew i was different, been to counseling, seen psychiatrists, psychologists all types of counselors and they all had a different answer for me. it wasn't till my husband went to see a pschyologist for his alcoholism, and was given a book called...
    dreamyesterday5 dreamyesterday5
    56-60, F
    3 Responses Dec 29, 2010

    Confusion Over Decisions

    Making decisions is very triggering for me. I get so lost in all my different versions of myself... Even when the decisions are between 2 really good options. Everyone thinks I should feel blessed, but i get angry at how messed up I am. For example, I got a job offer...
    eagertounfold eagertounfold
    36-40
    3 Responses Jun 28, 2013

    I'm not convinced that I'm bipolar II

    as my new doc thinks. It may just as well be BDP. Have you had these mixed up in diagnostics too? What finally answered the question of which one you have? And how did treatment vary?
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce
    41-45, F
    1 Response Oct 31, 2014

    At one point I met criteria

    for BPD but have recovered enough of myself to not quite qualify as borderline...but sometimes I see it in my behavior. It is a reminder to be mindful. My borderline traits creep in when that special person is absent for a little longer than expected and I start to stress. It...
    Doomflower Doomflower
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Mar 6

    Last In Bpd Series~common Issues

    To close my Borderline Personality Disorder Series, I wanted to review some common traits and terms relating to BPD. I hope the series was informative and helpful. Some of the information below comes from two books that I highly recommend which are Stop Walking on Eggshells...
    ClinicallyClueless ClinicallyClueless
    41-45, F
    1 Response Aug 19, 2008

    I Think I May Be Borderline

    Or at least I have so many of the traits attached to it. I've found myself reading through a lot of different sites and stories. So much of the time I'm just thinking that is just how I feel or I know exactly what that is, but for me though I'm missing some very major symptoms...
    Mintallyill Mintallyill
    26-30
    1 Response Mar 11, 2013

    I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 then bpd a few

    years later because the treatment wasn't working. Bpd is very hard to treat with medication it's more about DBT therapy I think
    littleindigoviolet littleindigoviolet
    31-35, F
    1 Response Nov 17, 2014

    Please follow my blog at:

    http://femaleborderlinesociopath.blogspot.ca/
    ClazzyGalXO ClazzyGalXO
    31-35, F
    Jan 8, 2015

    Just yesterday I yearned to get Lar back.

    I wrote him an email detailing all that I believed had been miscommunicated between us, hoping that he would see and believe that it was never my intention to be inconsiderate of his feelings or point of view. I ached and felt desolate at the thought that all of my fantasies...
    MrsGrey MrsGrey
    26-30, F
    Apr 15, 2014
    waterrise waterrise
    22-25
    Jul 20, 2015

    All my life, I've never had a stable sense of

    self. I've always struggled to find out who I was, who I wanted to be. Some days I'd be the punk rocker, other days I'd be the hippie kid. My behaviour, my interests, my thoughts... how I defined myself constantly changed. I never really found an even ground with myself. It's...
    astateofdisarray astateofdisarray
    18-21, F
    May 10, 2015

    Am I Borderline?

    For a long time in my life I've had suspicions that I might be. Ever since I was young, actually. I have a hard time explaining things, so I will just list the traits that relate to me strongly, and try my best to elaborate on it. Fear of Abandonment: This is probably my most...
    s0nder s0nder
    16-17, F
    1 Response Nov 24, 2012

    Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder ~part III ~overview

    This is the third segment in a series on my Blogger blog that I am doing on Borderline Personality Disorder.  Most of the series, I give very personal examples as my mother is a severe BPD without treatment and I have BPD with treatment and I am doing very well. According...
    ClinicallyClueless ClinicallyClueless
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Aug 4, 2008

    I own the DSM-IV so I always read about these

    things.. I have a lot of traits of Borderline Personality Disorder.... The only thing is, I don't get that angry most of the time. I don't let myself. But, looking at the criteria for the diagnoses, I have a lot of the symptoms .-. Oh well.....
    Yourguardianangel9613 Yourguardianangel9613
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 4, 2014

    The Betrayal Trigger

    Tonight i am devastated because I've had to see the friend who betrayed me. She has the nerve to still come to my soccer team, that I invited her to, even after she has betrayed me. I am so triggered by her being there...and even worse, she is trying to make friends with some...
    eagertounfold eagertounfold
    36-40
    2 Responses Mar 19, 2013
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