I Have Bpd

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 286 People

    How I Feel.

    I have to share this with you.Because I sincerely doubt that I'm the only person in the whole world who has reached nearly 40 and found themselves stood on the very edge of a cliff knowing with absolute certainty that she, finally, can fly ~ but she has no clue whatsoever where...
    charlie248 charlie248
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Nov 12, 2012

    I just don't know how to cope with my emotions

    and mood swings anymore. I can't stand myself so how can other people even bare to be around me? I'm so sad and scared and confused.
    Brokenheartblacksoul Brokenheartblacksoul
    26-30, F
    Dec 23, 2014

    I'm realizing all the harm I've caused other

    people especially my kids. I blamed people for hurting me and I've blown up more times than I can count. I'm ashamed of myself. I don't know how to think and I don't trust myself or my judgment about anything. I'm afraid to give advice to my kids because I don't know if it's...
    beansmean beansmean
    51-55, F
    Mar 24, 2015

    Iam feeling very emotional

    for no reason...I can't get the past out of my head. Remembering being in the past like im there and wondering how I got here. Missing people, places and things, remembering smells and what it felt like to be me in different moments. Regretting so much. I've ****** up so much...
    MushroomFaerie148 MushroomFaerie148
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Dec 14, 2015
    binkscesaille binkscesaille
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Jul 31, 2015

    I have had more personal insight from reading

    the experiences of others on ep than in any therapy session. I noticed lately that I used to feel highly paranoid about sexual relationships and although I still do, I suddenly want to have some casual encounter that requires little to no emotional attachment. I am not even...
    merrygentry merrygentry
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Feb 23, 2014

    Im looking for people

    that are willing to share their experience of being in a Psychiatric hospital due to bpd. ie pros n cons if it was a good, bad, useful or helpful experience.
    LJglasgow LJglasgow
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Aug 20, 2015

    I was recently diagnosed with BPD.

    About 3 weeks ago. I have been dealing with these crazy exhausting irrational emotions for about 10 years now. Now that i have a reason behind it i feel a sense of relief.... but then i think about all the work i have a head of me... and then i think about my kids and how much...
    jln1424 jln1424
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 26, 2016

    ...I love the fact I sound like a different

    person in any post I make. /sarcasm
    Emzies Emzies
    Dec 19, 2015

    I always feel so sad

    and alone , I have no one to talk to and I also feel like no one understands what goes on in my head and it hurts me so much 😪. I can't do this on my own
    BeautyAndRage BeautyAndRage
    18-21, F
    Aug 4, 2015

    I Don't Mind Being Alone Because I Have No Motivation For Anything

    Hey I was diagnosed with BPD this year and was hospitalised for a month. My impulsivity caused me to repeatedly call a lecturer I was obsessed with. The only thing the woman didn't do was call the cops on me. Since then I've been struggling to keep it together. I have cut off all...
    bpdstruggles2012 bpdstruggles2012
    1 Response Aug 5, 2013

    Hi, I'M BPD Bob!

    Hi there, I am a fictitious EPer, created to represent a new support group founded by EPers' with a great attitude to fighting and conquering BPD. The Bob stands for Band of Brothers. If you would like to join, please add BPDBob to your circle. Here's what BPDBob has to offer...
    BPDBob BPDBob
    46-50, M
    May 19, 2013

    Have any of you done DBT?

    Has it been helpful? What can I do to help myself?
    Jlb13592 Jlb13592
    26-30, M
    Feb 15, 2016

    I have bpd, pstd and complex ptsd.

    I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder earlier this year and i was heartbroken. It felt almost as if i had been betrayed by myself. I knew there was a high risk of developing it after i got ptsd and i worked hard, but i still managed to get it. i'm now on...
    Whitehaven Whitehaven
    18-21, F
    1 Response Sep 30, 2015

    I joined a few BPD groups on FB thinking I

    would meet people like me. What I realise is I dont want to meet people like me! 1 person puts up a post and they all follow looking for attention for themselves.... All those years looking for a label and i look from the outside. ..its the last label i want! Listening to them...
    BrokenDreamsSilentScreams BrokenDreamsSilentScreams
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Jul 20, 2015

    Bpd will have me so emotionally disconnected at

    times literally all feelings switched off
    blasianalien blasianalien
    26-30, F
    May 10, 2015

    Sometimes it just really throws me off because,

    you know, I have those days when I feel normal. Maybe it's just a lucky coincidence; more likely it's the mood stabilizer I've been taking since October; but regardless I sometimes feel normal, like maybe I'm actually a part of what's going on in the rest of the world. Maybe I...
    showusyoursouls showusyoursouls
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 5, 2014

    I completely surrendered my life to Jesus Christ

    and He has straightened my paths. He soothes the pain and fills the void within. I was a believer who had yet to put all of my trust in Him. However, since then I have grown so much because I let Him take the wheel and not just sit passenger. I had to completely die to self. BPD...
    Mulhollandrive Mulhollandrive
    26-30, F
    Nov 4, 2015

    Anyone Else Going Through This - Please Dont Feel Alone.

    I have recently been diagnosed with BPD (earlier this year) after years of not knowing why the hell I was like I was. At first a psychologist thought it was aspergers syndrome, but then my destructive and sometimes "out-there" impulsive behaviour ruled that out. My mother and...
    Daisypie Daisypie
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Oct 19, 2011

    How I Feel. Now. ( As In, Not Then, In The First Story ~ Yeah.)

    Well good evening my beautiful ep buds!You remember where I was last time we chatted about this? I was standing on the edge of that cliff, knowing I could fly but having no clue where I wanted to fly to......kinda?......right well, then a friend of mine suggested perhaps i was...
    charlie248 charlie248
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Dec 10, 2012

    Today I have gone from sad,

    to happy to sad again. Bpd is tiring!
    Brokenheartblacksoul Brokenheartblacksoul
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 21, 2015

    Something I wrote to describe what it's like

    being me sometimes. You're on a swing. You've been at it for a bit, you've built momentum. You are way up there, right near the sky. For a moment you believe that if you just stretch your feet out all the way, you just might be able to brush up against it. You hold your breath...
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow
    18-21, T
    1 Response Sep 21, 2014

    BPD: I'm co-dependant

    yet non trusting. That's the struggle. I can't comfort myself. I can't take care of myself. I need others, but I don't want to be a burden. God is keeping me here and trusting Him, but it gets really lonely. He is my comforter, but there are times like right now that I wish more...
    Mulhollandrive Mulhollandrive
    26-30, F
    1 Response May 31, 2015

    I have to remind myself to feel certain

    emotions- guilt especially- and even then I'm not really feeling them, I'm just telling myself to seem like I'm feeling them. The main ones are guilt and excitement, I hardly ever feel them automatically... I always thought I was just heartless until I figured it out haha
    caitlinmae513 caitlinmae513
    16-17, F
    Aug 10, 2015

    Hey all, I have BPD and I wanted to share my

    experience thus far. When I was 13, I was diagnosed with severe depression and put on Prozac. But I knew even then that depression didn't fit me; I wasn't sad for days and weeks on end, in fact I had this wide range of emotions that I couldn't control. Throughout highschool, I...
    harvesterofsorrow6247 harvesterofsorrow6247
    22-25, F
    1 Response May 25, 2014
    blasianalien blasianalien
    26-30, F
    May 8, 2015

    Living with BPD is extremely difficult

    and tiring. I am tired of being unstable, I am tired of the stigma, I am tired of feeling unloved and empty. I can honestly say, all I want to do is be normal, I spent time with a friend of mine today and I envied her because she has such a seemingly normal life.
    zeenj26 zeenj26
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Feb 17, 2014

    Mania: Who Has The Time?

    Hi again, I am now on day 4 of a manic state. I just want to shop, meet new people, go back to school, get back to therapy, NEVER sleep because who has time for that? My mind wanders, I sit with my phone, computer and TV all doing something different. I often dwell on things...
    justanotherface22 justanotherface22
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Dec 2, 2012

    To Outsiders, I Have The Perfect Life, They Say I'm Beautiful And Talented. Nope

    My husband encouraged me to join a BPD support group. My story is so long, and complicated I don't know where to start, what to leave out or where to end. Brief Synopsis I s'pose 1998 Married my 3rd and current husband. Adopted his birth daughter (5 yrs old) Her...
    perfecsunist perfecsunist
    4 Responses Mar 17, 2012

    ive wondered for years

    why i freaked out and ruined relationships and why everybody seemed "so cold" to me. ive always admitted my faults and feel so guilty. now it's been years of me being alone because of guilt, fear and not being able to handle emotions very well. im not sure what the **** to do
    MushroomFaerie148 MushroomFaerie148
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 16, 2015

    For My Friends With Bpd.....

    I found this quotation and it rang true with me, I hope it works for you too.....' Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger.  If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take...
    charlie248 charlie248
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jul 7, 2012

    Lose your mind if that's what's happening,

    but give your heart to God and let Him restore it.
    Mulhollandrive Mulhollandrive
    26-30, F
    May 31, 2015

    I am never gonna have real true friends.

    With Bipolar BPD & social anxiety living in me it's just impossible
    blasianalien blasianalien
    26-30, F
    May 13, 2015

    I also have no friends

    because of my bpd. I want to be normal and I can't be.
    bigal1994 bigal1994
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Sep 3, 2015
    wkoutwifey wkoutwifey
    41-45, F
    Mar 5, 2015
    polarbearlove polarbearlove
    18-21, F
    Jan 11, 2016

    I get so angry sometimes,

    it drives me mad. And i lose control. I feel like, this is it, I'm gonna kill myself later, and i better lose myself and have fun before i die. And i do something crazy, and later get depressed and become worse at controlling myself. And i just have so many questions about the...
    deleted deleted
    Jun 7, 2015

    More of a question. .

    I can't figure out why its hard for me to attach to people. I've only been seriously attached to 3 people in my life and when it happened with them it was instant. Is this normal for bpd? I feel like it's just not happening quick enough and i give up so fast. What did they have...
    Crazysometimes Crazysometimes
    26-30, F
    1 Response Aug 11, 2015

    I always used to think it was hard to describe

    myself because I was autistic- you know, we're usually not able to express ourselves very well or be able to put into words how we feel and all that. That gets frustrating very quickly especially when someone misunderstands me or I'm trying to tell the doctor something's wrong...
    Emzies Emzies
    1 Response Nov 18, 2015


    Bpd is so crippling, it takes any relationship i'm in and just murders it. I love to love and I know I can do it so well but then it happens... I have an episode, and I panic and I think he is leaving me and all I can think is oh god you have done it now chased away another one...
    haley1017 haley1017
    3 Responses Jul 2, 2013

    i dont know if i can handle this anymore im in

    such a dark place im screaming inside i feel sick insid e i cant open up sorry death would be better than this why cant people cry i fee i think angry inside i dont care anymore i would rather not being in this world i feel so ill and hide and so depressed want to sleep to...
    hannahabbie hannahabbie
    51-55, F
    Jan 5, 2015

    Me and my ex girlfriend

    both have bpd. I could only attach to her and understand her and I actually felt everything with her like my bpd wasn't there you know? She couldn't give the same commitment back her bpd was too much. Anyone else had similar problems?! I feel like my bpd is getting worse now I...
    bigal1994 bigal1994
    22-25, F
    Sep 3, 2015

    I'm stuck in a cubicle of Starbucks,

    trying to phone my brother (he's rlly understanding) because i feel abandoned by my friends. **** bpd.
    NaomilyShipper NaomilyShipper
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Aug 10, 2015

    This morning my husband got up

    for work and since I knew he was leaving soon I started my baby talk and fake crying to get him to listen that I had a stomach ache and I need him. Wow it sounds so dumb now because as soon as he eventually drive away I was completely fine and strong as I am until he gets home...
    Ryahlips Ryahlips
    22-25, F
    Nov 13, 2015

    I think I am going to be diagnosed with bpd,

    I had a therapist once tell me" to Google the disorder and tell me if I thought it sounded like me" so I stopped seeing him, not because of the diagnosis but of how care less he was. My mother is schizophrenic and my father is a recovering alcoholic, I was adopted by my aunt and...
    Unknownbuthopeful Unknownbuthopeful
    26-30, F
    1 Response Oct 2, 2015

    That's Life

    I'm currently having one of my 'episodes'. I'm sure anyone else with BPD knows exactly what I'm saying. one minute your fine, breezy, then one tiny thing happens and your blood is filled with so much anguish and agony that all you want to do is end your life. Its not just the...
    EllenBear EllenBear
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Dec 21, 2012
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