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I Have Built My Walls So High That They Will Never Come Down

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 696 People

    I have always blocked myself off from the world.

    Ever since kindergarten. Now, as I've aged & been beaten down by life / relationships. I now have walls so high I am untrusting and nearly incapable of love.
    Foenix Foenix 36-40, M 1 Response Jan 29

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    I am not aware of how else to live?

    ? Those who I loved most have all gone to be in Heaven. Yes I have good friends here. I still get lonely. I have tried to be in relationships but nothing ever sticks. I can only take rejection so much before you just give up hope and don't even want to try at all. I hate feeling...
    nettyg nettyg 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 6, 2014

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    These Walls I Built

    I have built my Walls so high I know one can get in so thick know one can break thru I have been let down a lot in my life the only people that I came to trust where my friends for years we where always really close everything to geather there was about 18 of us when we where...
    TheDevilsOwn TheDevilsOwn 22-25, M 3 Responses Feb 16, 2011

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    Im Just Sick Of Getting Hurt

    Its like what is the point of putting down those walls if you just get hurt in the end?There is a reason why we have walls, some have taller thicker walls than others, and that's just because wehave felt that pain and we do not want to feel it again.I have lowered my walls a few...
    UmbraEyes UmbraEyes 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 17, 2012

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    Have You Earned It?

    He's been slowing breaking them down piece by piece. But I don't know if he'll ever fully bring it down.. It's not even that I'm trying to keep it this way. It's just that I have taught myself not to let them come down. It's hard to be honest and tell everything that has...
    Amay408 Amay408 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 2, 2010

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    Brick And Cement

    I can definitely relate to this. Over the years, i have had so much happen 2 me that i built this wall that's literally indestructible!& all that wall is 2 me is my security blanket. It protects me from getting hurt, betrayed, abandoned or any other negative feeling! & after...
    punty punty 26-30, F Jan 22, 2013

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    Well, I got what I wished.

    I wanted to experience what is it like to be liked by somebody. Felt it. Wasn't cool. :) Met someone who is so NOT my type. We don't match each other at ALL. It was obvious! But I don't know what's going through his mind. I have to always admit that I am wrong and apologize. It...
    fuglygirlonthebench fuglygirlonthebench 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 25, 2014

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    Protection

    In what way do you build your walls to protect you from other people? I suppose I zone out, I ignore everything that's happening around me and avoid getting into conversations, and if a conversation finds me, the person loses interest quickly, I suppose I must scare them...
    nowayjose87 nowayjose87 22-25, M 3 Responses Dec 1, 2010

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    Highest Walls Thatll Never Break

    I was alwasy one to protect myself when it came to feelings i always had a wall up but never a strong one. Well i recently had a life changeing experience as most of you may know if you see my stories. lol it wasn't like death but to me it felt like my death so I built my walls...
    browneyegirl89 browneyegirl89 18-21, F 22 Responses Nov 14, 2009

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    So Soothing

    I still have my first guitar. I named her freya. I've had her for about 4 years now. I'm getting a tattoo of freya on my back, only she will have a microphone attached to her. I have it all planned out and I'm excited. :) I pick freya up whenever I feel an emotion, regardless of...
    Dulcette Dulcette 22-25, F Aug 7, 2011

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    And It Chases Them All Away !

    I'm so afraid of someone seeing the real me. It sucks. noone will fight to tear them down. I can't blame them either.
    CDebes1988 CDebes1988 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 4, 2009

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    Sounds Like A Job For Acme

    Purdy sure they have a ladder that'll reach. Or a rocket, or........free falling Anvils to break the barriers... I don't know, But I think they do. Or food traps,..gotta come out for a little seed from time to time..
    PrettyOldSoul PrettyOldSoul 41-45, F 10 Responses Jun 16, 2011

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    Keeps Going Higher

    It seems that every time that someone hurts me I just keep building it higher, and if they happen to be that one who doesnt hurt me I still build it up just so that incase they ever decide to want to hurt me the wall will be ready for them. I dont even know if that one person...
    Dragonflywings Dragonflywings 26-30, F Dec 5, 2009

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    And I Hate It!

    I don't even have a viable reason for it. It's something that has been sucking the fun out of life. I think my defense mechanisms are working overtime for some weird reason. I will not let this get the best of me. I don't want to be taken advantage of by others...
    wack1985 wack1985 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2009

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    These Walls

    These walls stay up to protect and keep the pain away These walls I built from tears and hurt will keep you all out These walls know secrets I will NEVER tell and in my nightmares stay These walls enclose me and are my prison cell These walls echo all you said and made me...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 15, 2012

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    I let my walls down and I got hurt.

    I loved someone that didn't love me. He was my everything and he wasn't willing to fight to keep me. I was nothing to him. I'm never letting my walls again.
    kpfoster1985 kpfoster1985 13-15, M 2 Responses Feb 13

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    Constant Fight Or Flight

    I am on constant fight or flight. I have walls so high that I cant see over them. I have so many self protection mechanisms that it would shock you. I have so many things i do uncontiously to protect myself. I cant let anyone else in. The doors locked and bars. Trust hurts so i...
    Lilibuth12 Lilibuth12 18-21, F May 18, 2010

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    These Walls Are My Only Protection From Hurt

    i have taken down my walls a few times for some people but to find that all they do is attack me with spears and daggers.these walls around me are my only protection from hurt and disappointment.why should i bring them down when i just get attacked?
    heartwolf heartwolf 13-15, F Jun 16, 2011

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    Walls Can Only Go So High But A Pit Always Has Deeper To Go.

    I didn't build my walls. I dug them. I'm not in a fortress I'm in a hole. I dug this hole because its safe down here. No-one and nothing can touch me. I don't even know why but I'm scared to let people near me, I don't want to be hurt or let down so I'm too far away for that to...
    AgeonAngel AgeonAngel 18-21 Aug 9, 2010

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    Closed Off, They Say

    I'm not sure what made me so closed off....I think maybe it's because I am afraid that if people get to know me, really get to know me, and see how much I am suffering inside, that they would either be apalled or they would pity me.  I don't want people...
    Lumos Lumos 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 22, 2009

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    The Closer You Get, The More I'll Build

    Walls aren't thing that come down.  They just get moved back.  The closer you get to me, the more likely you'll hurt me, so the higher and closer my walls get.  They are unbrakeable.  You can't climb over them, dig under them or go around them.  You jsut...
    cassrowen cassrowen 26-30 5 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    Me Myself And Walls

    I have walls, they are built pretty highthey are pretty freakin' highI keep everything in, keeping everyone from getting into my life. It sorta just happened; if you get put in that position to be on your own then you just grow So into being solo. I'm the one who could be...
    SoSwSh SoSwSh 16-17, M Oct 30, 2011

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    The Wall That Never Comes Down Again

    i have been keeping my wall up even more strongly after i have been hurt both physical  and mentally, i built my wall up so hugh then i started to let someone in, they then blackmailed me with the information i let them see and hear so i have learnt not to let people in as it...
    207103anglegirl 207103anglegirl 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 28, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    20 years alone sometimes it feels it will never happen it just tares me up inside. you dumb men don't even begin to understand what your passing up
    baprel26 baprel26 36-40, F 1 Response 30 mins ago

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    I am in my late 20's and do not know how to date. I've been in 2 relationships, one which lasted almost 6 years. I guess with this experience, technically I still don't know how to...
    sweetiepoo sweetiepoo 26-30, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    I wish I had never loved like I have. I only love my family and my daughter . She is the reason I live and breathe. If I didn't have her or he takes her away.... I can't think...
    altochick0290 altochick0290 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I need some serious advice. my best friend of 12 years just got engaged to a guy she has been dating off and on for 5 years. the relationship is extremely toxic as they are both...
    drummergrl06 drummergrl06 26-30, F 1 day ago

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    Me either. People don't change. Same clicks as there were in high school. Nothing but drama . Why go when there is Facebook lol
    js1276 js1276 41-45, F 1 day ago

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    "dear, pretty face" looking at a you is like looking at a painting in a museum that I walk by and it grabs me. So many other paintings but this particular one has something I can...
    CandidMic CandidMic 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I'm writing a letter to my aunt who passed away after her battle with cancer. I plan for years to come. That once a year. I write a letter to her telling her about everything that...
    ICanDoMyOwnThing ICanDoMyOwnThing 13-15, T 2 days ago

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    Maybe one day I will write about every single letter I didn't send.
    Clothed Clothed 41-45, M 3 days ago

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    im very loyal never~mind my humor ;)
    miimii0069 miimii0069 26-30, F 3 days ago

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    ...and I'm totally fine with it. I was raised by a single father who was never married so I grew up knowing that there's more to life than saying "I do." Plus, there are so many...
    SunshineMel SunshineMel 26-30, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    I've written letters to dead people--Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Emily Dickinson, and Everett Ruess, if you're wondering. I relate more to dead people and fictional characters than...
    Emeryael Emeryael 26-30, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Back in middle school I got into a fight with 2 jocks who were bullying one of my classmates. Did I get hurt? Yeah. My head got slammed against a brick wall. Did the teacher care...
    Thalassophobic Thalassophobic 18-21, M 3 days ago

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    Someday, you will forget my name, my voice, my laugh and who I am to you. But even if you forget everything about me, just want you to know that I will never forget how much you...
    redDya91 redDya91 22-25, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    my parents have just a hard time telling me they love me or even showing it. my physical form doesn't help it either with how I'm shown lies and pain rather than kindness and...
    LoveLessOne97 LoveLessOne97 18-21, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    When things go wrong as they sometimes will When the road I'm trudging seems all uphill When the funds are low and the debts are high And I want to smile but I have to sigh...
    Ezmee Ezmee 36-40, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Though it saddens me to break our relationship but I think both of us just don't deserve each other. We started as being friends and eventually fell in love with each other. I...
    nbsbgal nbsbgal 22-25, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I only swim in the ocean and now I know why. Just read a study that says 20% of the public admit ******* in the pool. What a bunch of nasty f ers and I am sure it is actually a...
    samhart1 samhart1 36-40, M 5 days ago

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    My experience with God and marriage has been one of complete disappointment and the living proof God uses us like circus shows for his entertainment. I was raised in a Pentecostal...
    bamrelish bamrelish 51-55, M 6 days ago

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    never hurts to hope for something. besides, you never know..
    Azeazal Azeazal 16-17, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I don't know why but I'm always the last choice or completely ignored. Me: "Yeah you can come to my house when it's midnight. No problem. I'll make sure you're happy before I...
    Lcy2472 Lcy2472 13-15, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I will never forgot the day I kissed a boy in 4th grade... or the time I got kicked out the house.. or my first time meeting my nieces and nephews... or the day I met Danielle
    missdramaqueen missdramaqueen 18-21, F 1 Response