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I Have Built My Walls So High That They Will Never Come Down

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 625 People

    And I Hate It!

    I don't even have a viable reason for it. It's something that has been sucking the fun out of life. I think my defense mechanisms are working overtime for some weird reason. I will not let this get the best of me. I don't want to be taken advantage of by others...
    wack1985 wack1985 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2009

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    These Walls I Built

    I have built my Walls so high I know one can get in so thick know one can break thru I have been let down a lot in my life the only people that I came to trust where my friends for years we where always really close everything to geather there was about 18 of us when we where...
    TheDevilsOwn TheDevilsOwn 22-25, M 3 Responses Feb 16, 2011

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    Closed Off, They Say

    I'm not sure what made me so closed off....I think maybe it's because I am afraid that if people get to know me, really get to know me, and see how much I am suffering inside, that they would either be apalled or they would pity me.  I don't want people...
    Lumos Lumos 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 22, 2009

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    And It Chases Them All Away !

    I'm so afraid of someone seeing the real me. It sucks. noone will fight to tear them down. I can't blame them either.
    CDebes1988 CDebes1988 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 4, 2009

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    These Walls

    These walls stay up to protect and keep the pain away These walls I built from tears and hurt will keep you all out These walls know secrets I will NEVER tell and in my nightmares stay These walls enclose me and are my prison cell These walls echo all you said and made me...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 15, 2012

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    Constant Fight Or Flight

    I am on constant fight or flight. I have walls so high that I cant see over them. I have so many self protection mechanisms that it would shock you. I have so many things i do uncontiously to protect myself. I cant let anyone else in. The doors locked and bars. Trust hurts so i...
    Lilibuth12 Lilibuth12 18-21, F May 18, 2010

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    The Closer You Get, The More I'll Build

    Walls aren't thing that come down.  They just get moved back.  The closer you get to me, the more likely you'll hurt me, so the higher and closer my walls get.  They are unbrakeable.  You can't climb over them, dig under them or go around them.  You jsut...
    cassrowen cassrowen 26-30 5 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    I am not aware of how else to live?

    ? Those who I loved most have all gone to be in Heaven. Yes I have good friends here. I still get lonely. I have tried to be in relationships but nothing ever sticks. I can only take rejection so much before you just give up hope and don't even want to try at all. I hate feeling...
    nettyg nettyg 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 6

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    These Walls Are My Only Protection From Hurt

    i have taken down my walls a few times for some people but to find that all they do is attack me with spears and daggers.these walls around me are my only protection from hurt and disappointment.why should i bring them down when i just get attacked?
    heartwolf heartwolf 13-15, F Jun 16, 2011

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    Im Just Sick Of Getting Hurt

    Its like what is the point of putting down those walls if you just get hurt in the end?There is a reason why we have walls, some have taller thicker walls than others, and that's just because wehave felt that pain and we do not want to feel it again.I have lowered my walls a few...
    UmbraEyes UmbraEyes 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 17, 2012

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    Brick And Cement

    I can definitely relate to this. Over the years, i have had so much happen 2 me that i built this wall that's literally indestructible!& all that wall is 2 me is my security blanket. It protects me from getting hurt, betrayed, abandoned or any other negative feeling! & after...
    punty punty 26-30, F Jan 22, 2013

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    Have You Earned It?

    He's been slowing breaking them down piece by piece. But I don't know if he'll ever fully bring it down.. It's not even that I'm trying to keep it this way. It's just that I have taught myself not to let them come down. It's hard to be honest and tell everything that has...
    Amay408 Amay408 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 2, 2010

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    Protection

    In what way do you build your walls to protect you from other people? I suppose I zone out, I ignore everything that's happening around me and avoid getting into conversations, and if a conversation finds me, the person loses interest quickly, I suppose I must scare them...
    nowayjose87 nowayjose87 22-25, M 3 Responses Dec 1, 2010

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    Walls Can Only Go So High But A Pit Always Has Deeper To Go.

    I didn't build my walls. I dug them. I'm not in a fortress I'm in a hole. I dug this hole because its safe down here. No-one and nothing can touch me. I don't even know why but I'm scared to let people near me, I don't want to be hurt or let down so I'm too far away for that to...
    AgeonAngel AgeonAngel 18-21 Aug 9, 2010

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    So Soothing

    I still have my first guitar. I named her freya. I've had her for about 4 years now. I'm getting a tattoo of freya on my back, only she will have a microphone attached to her. I have it all planned out and I'm excited. :) I pick freya up whenever I feel an emotion, regardless of...
    Dulcette Dulcette 22-25, F Aug 7, 2011

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    Sounds Like A Job For Acme

    Purdy sure they have a ladder that'll reach. Or a rocket, or........free falling Anvils to break the barriers... I don't know, But I think they do. Or food traps,..gotta come out for a little seed from time to time..
    PrettyOldSoul PrettyOldSoul 41-45, F 10 Responses Jun 16, 2011

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    Highest Walls Thatll Never Break

    I was alwasy one to protect myself when it came to feelings i always had a wall up but never a strong one. Well i recently had a life changeing experience as most of you may know if you see my stories. lol it wasn't like death but to me it felt like my death so I built my walls...
    browneyegirl89 browneyegirl89 18-21, F 22 Responses Nov 14, 2009

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    Well, I got what I wished.

    I wanted to experience what is it like to be liked by somebody. Felt it. Wasn't cool. :) Met someone who is so NOT my type. We don't match each other at ALL. It was obvious! But I don't know what's going through his mind. I have to always admit that I am wrong and apologize. It...
    fuglygirlonthebench fuglygirlonthebench 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 25

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    Keeps Going Higher

    It seems that every time that someone hurts me I just keep building it higher, and if they happen to be that one who doesnt hurt me I still build it up just so that incase they ever decide to want to hurt me the wall will be ready for them. I dont even know if that one person...
    Dragonflywings Dragonflywings 26-30, F Dec 5, 2009

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    Me Myself And Walls

    I have walls, they are built pretty highthey are pretty freakin' highI keep everything in, keeping everyone from getting into my life. It sorta just happened; if you get put in that position to be on your own then you just grow So into being solo. I'm the one who could be...
    SoSwSh SoSwSh 16-17, M Oct 30, 2011

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    The Wall That Never Comes Down Again

    i have been keeping my wall up even more strongly after i have been hurt both physical  and mentally, i built my wall up so hugh then i started to let someone in, they then blackmailed me with the information i let them see and hear so i have learnt not to let people in as it...
    207103anglegirl 207103anglegirl 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 28, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    The scars are not easily visible. They are etched into my heart and I fear they will never fade. My life was plagued with sadness, loss and anger.
    NeoxExor NeoxExor 22-25, M Nov 12

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    I'm beginning to see the choices I have made throughout my life come full circle. I tried desperately to outrun them, and now, only later am I about to reap the consequences of my...
    breannajust breannajust 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 5

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    As you all know there was a man in my life who persecuted me and made my life a living hell . I wish if I was a talented author to write the whole story with all the details but...
    lostsouluk lostsouluk 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 31

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    I will never marry again, and I can say that with a very high percentage of certainty. My divorce will officially begin today (On Halloween). I filled out the paperwork online two...
    miryam57 miryam57 56-60, F 1 Response Oct 31

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    And it is absolutely destroying me. I did not know how she felt, and was afraid of the way she made me feel, so I pushed her away a couple years ago. We remained close, even...
    TheFeral TheFeral 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    I will never give up my love to the man who I ever loved. Despite with all the trauma that he have caused me from the past problem he brought on our life. I will never just give...
    aj2333 aj2333 41-45, F Oct 27

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    You gave one more chance of yourself. You told and gave another person and the last person to do it right and protected it from any more damage. That person promised to keep it...
    masmelo masmelo 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 27

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    Ill never forget the day we met the day my hole life changed I remember what you were wearing I remember your smile I remember how we were goofing off in class I also will never...
    joe395271 joe395271 13-15, M 3 days ago

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    All the concerts I go to are crazy as I am a metal head and my metal head fam jam always go to crazy kick *** concerts ;) All of them will never be forgotten! I've seen, Alice...
    ModifiedMamaofTwo ModifiedMamaofTwo 16-17, F Nov 9

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    Yup. That's right. I will never be able to look like a Victoria Secret model so yeah, get over it. To be honest, I don't think I am that interested in looking like one.
    TeresaChanaki TeresaChanaki 13-15, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    To my Future Ex Husband I know you’re busy right now. I also reckon that you need to finish your work today. Yes, I understand that you must go out-of-town for business...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 6

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    ...mostly because I'm looked at as one of the guys, a friend, or not at all. Every guy I know or date ends up just seeing me as another buddy, someone to have a cold one with and...
    themissmoxie themissmoxie 26-30, F 7 Responses Nov 11

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    I never wanted to get married growing up. I talked about it with a couple of friends because that's what girls are "supposed" to do, but I truly wasn't interested. Now that I'm...
    chickiebos chickiebos 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 23

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    He's my oldest brother and unfortunately he was affiliated with a gang and it will be dangerous for him to ever come back to New Jersey so I never met him before and probably never...
    BrownSugar96 BrownSugar96 18-21, F Nov 3

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    So I've decided I'm probably never gonna marry. I love my job and it keeps me traveling (to were I'm never home for more than a month at a time) so my relationships fail apart fast...
    KnoxvilleStrong KnoxvilleStrong 26-30, M 1 Response Oct 24

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    I've always tested at or near 145. Statistically, they say only one in every 407 people are rated that high. I used to be impressed with that, but I know a lot of people in the 100...
    Ernie14 Ernie14 51-55, M 6 days ago

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    I am still getting over my past, flash backs come back to me randomly.
    Brookedrumm Brookedrumm 16-17, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Many years ago, I lost a friend. She died in a car crash in the country. I was really cut up about it for ages. I hadn't realised just how much I missed her. Anyway. One day I'm in...
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Oct 25

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    I have friends they say I love you but I know they are lieing just to make me feel better.I have a boyfriend and he says he loves me but I don't know if I believe him.i mean...
    bree8989 bree8989 13-15, F 2 Responses Oct 27

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    I look in society and see so many people happy and it makes me jealous and hurt. I don't think that I'll never find that person that will be interested in me like I'm interested...
    brady120378 brady120378 31-35, M 2 Responses Oct 28

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    I'll never be able to find the words to describe how much I love you. You've had my heart since August. Even though we're not together, nothing will stop me from loving you and...
    whyusteens whyusteens 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 3

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    Even though I am not from the states or was a teenager in the late 90's, there are still questions in ur head why they did this. I watched 'bowling for columbine' and 'Zero Hour...
    90slove 90slove 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 11

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    I met this guy more than a year ago. He is a photographer. I was a cosplayer at that event. When we met, he asked to take my picture and I said 'yes'. Little did I know that I'm...
    kerencc11 kerencc11 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 11

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    Even though I like to eat vegetables, Brussels Sprouts are just .. No matter what sauce and herbs I add to it... I've never enjoyed eating them, and never will I am sure...
    AngelicLights AngelicLights 26-30, F a week ago

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    I dont think ill ever be happy or have love or be cared for on this planet. Ive never had parents the family i had treated me bad, my past relationsips are a reflection of abuse i...
    foreverlonelygirl foreverlonelygirl 22-25, F 2 days ago

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    Well besides my age I talked to older people and they can't talk to minors so I had to put an older age
    Twincrue Twincrue 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 24

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    All I've learned from my first love, is love is evil, love brings pain. Oh yes it may feel good but once it's over you start to wonder if there ever was love. I'll never love again...
    Datenshi Datenshi 16-17, F 1 Response