I Have Bulimia

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,758 People

    And it's back... :/ I cried

    because I haven't had a scale in 4 days... I ate quite a bit today... And I want to throw it all up... Once I'm back at home and alone... This habit is coming back... I'm too fat... And I won't be for too much longer... Oh Mia, how I've missed you... <3
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile
    22-25, M
    Jan 8, 2015

    People always say I'm

    so lucky because I'm 'so skinny' and 'eat loads'. What they don't know is I don't even swallow my food most of the time, I must be so lucky.
    deleted deleted
    Feb 2, 2016

    It really sucks :') I've had bulimia

    for almost six years and I've hated every minute of it! Trying to stay positive is pretty hard! The hardest thing is trying to live a normal life! I was starting to get better, then boom! Here we go again :') Oh well, wish me luck! :)
    Marc99 Marc99
    18-21, M
    5 Responses Aug 17, 2014

    Hey I'm trying to recover from bulimia

    and talking to other people who are struggling helps me more than anything else. Kinda weird. Anyways if you want to talk call me, 7074990617.
    CaitlinScof CaitlinScof
    22-25, F
    Jan 5, 2016

    So, my Bulimia used to be about control.

    ...a way to stop my emotions. If I was upset or hurt I would B/P so I could somewhat stop feeling. I have started keeping track of what I eat, exercising, and I am losing weight. Downfall, now my Bulimia is because I DON'T want to gain weight. I get hungry for food, fast food for...
    angelpumpkin36 angelpumpkin36
    36-40, F
    1 Response Apr 4, 2016

    I've been purge free

    for 1 year as of today❀️ recovery is possible.
    beccuh beccuh
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 10, 2015

    After I thought I was done some how I'm pulled

    back in again when I look at food all I can hear is your FAT! My secret will make me sick, so I'm confronting it before I'm too far in to be pulled out.
    babybuckeye babybuckeye
    22-25, F
    7 Responses Jun 7, 2014

    I ate more "junk" tonight

    than normal...I'm really struggling not to go throw up right now :'(
    angelpumpkin36 angelpumpkin36
    36-40, F
    Mar 11, 2016

    I want to binge and purge and binge

    and purge. And fxcking splurge. Then purge. But I don't want to, I want to be normal, But I'm feeling shaky hands reach in that pantry, Gotta pull it back, Can't have it, I'm having an attack, In my brain, Too much pain, Feeling drained. Gotta fill my self up So I can't...
    BrokeAssBxtch BrokeAssBxtch
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 7, 2015

    Let me tell you a story.

    Once upon a time, Not that long ago A little girl so empty Wanted to fill her sorrow. She stuffed and filled Right to the top So full and sick But unable to stop Until she gagged She spewed her sorrow Into a bag
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Aug 10, 2014

    I've been struggling w bulimia

    for about two years now but I am starting to get help with it. I wanna be happy with my body but bulimia only makes me feel guilty and hate myself. The thought of being able to eat a normal sized meal and feel ok about myself knowing I don't have to throw it up after is all I...
    yuuung yuuung
    18-21, F
    Jun 26, 2014

    Today 2 years ago I entered recovery

    for bulimia. I have not binged and purged once since. Two years free from mia!!! It's so nice and the struggle was really hard. But I made it!!!
    JenMarie97 JenMarie97
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 28, 2014

    I have started back again.

    ...trying not to..but does anyone else get headaches? Every since I started back I always get a headache the next day.... :( it's been every day for about a week now. just trying to see if anyone experiences this
    angelpumpkin36 angelpumpkin36
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Mar 13, 2016

    Last night was a "You shall suffer the

    consequences of all your actions" night. I was racked with pain and loneliness. Physical pain from acid, and loneliness as I had to divorce my husband. I lost the support of much of my family when I came out as pansexual. I don't know what hurt worse. I took all the mess I had...
    tygerseye tygerseye
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jan 7, 2016

    I Am Bulimic

    All my life I wasn't too fat, I was just tall and built like my father who was very athletic.  I went through puberty a little faster than my friends, and on top of that I loved food.  I always ate junk and fried food and didnt really care about healthy...
    morgan521 morgan521
    18-21, F
    10 Responses Jun 14, 2009

    I have never received treatment despite

    diagnosis from a psychiatrist; however through treatment and medication for anxiety, depression and insomnia, as well as a general improvement in my confidence and happiness, turning to ED behaviours has become less frequent and I feel like I have come a long way in terms of...
    fromlighttodarkness fromlighttodarkness
    18-21, F
    Mar 24, 2014
    beccahayley beccahayley
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jan 22, 2016
    beccahayley beccahayley
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jan 22, 2016

    Where do I start? To be completely honest,

    I don't know how long I have been living with this big Bulimic secret. It's been so many years, I've lost count. I turn 26 in a few months, and I know it started when I was still in high school--I guess if I had to approximate, I'd say it's been roughly 8 or 9 years, tops. It...
    siomariet siomariet
    2 Responses Jun 27, 2014

    Hey everyone. I'm new to this site

    so you have to bear with me :))! I have had bulimia for over a year. I have bpd and depression alongside bulimia but for me, Bulimia ruins my life. I love it but I hate it. I want it gone but then I want it back. I am in control, then it is all lost, and partially regained...
    rhiamia rhiamia
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Oct 13, 2014

    Hi all, I am 25 years old

    and have had an eating disorder for about 10 years. It started with anorexic behaviors as a teenager and a noticeable weight loss, but I was never underweight. This slowly developed into periods of extreme over-eating, followed by self-induced vomiting. In college, my disorder...
    meganexplainsitall meganexplainsitall
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Dec 24, 2013

    This is a journal I wrote on August 17,

    2012 about my parents finding out about my bulimia: they found out! my secrets are all out! I have no more privacy no more dignity and all I'm left with is regret and shame. but am I really the one to blame. they know my secret. they brung me in their bathroom to talk. they...
    BrokeAssBxtch BrokeAssBxtch
    18-21, F
    Dec 17, 2014

    Bulimic In Recovery

    I guess i was always a binge eater; i don't remember when i became bulimic.  i remember doing it occasionally in university, and after i graduated when i was alone all the time.  it seemed like i had no friends at all to lean on, except myself.  it got really bad...
    findaway findaway
    26-30, F
    21 Responses Aug 6, 2007

    it's become that addiction,

    everytime i eat too much i go straight to the bathroom, i plan my binges to be honest. But now ive done it so much that my throat is so swollen it hurts so much, i wish i could stop but how do you stop such an addiction??
    confusednormalness confusednormalness
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 30, 2015

    It is so much better

    than in years past. But when I am nauseous/sick with an illness or drunk, my hand always finds its way down my throat to relieve the discomfort.
    Godlevel Godlevel
    Jan 20, 2016

    I'm drowning...I have little hope,

    outside of residential treatment centers, which want $3000 up front. I'm ******* ******.
    fight4life fight4life
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Jan 7, 2016

    I've discharged and am flying home from an

    eating disorder treatment center tomorrow morning and I want nothing more than to purge right now. I'm so anxious about returning home and doing this on my own and going back to work. Ahhhh!!!
    fight4life fight4life
    31-35, F
    1 Response Mar 17, 2016

    I Feel Ashamed

    It started when I was in high school. I would eat when I was stressed out, once a day after school. I quit for a couple of years and then it crept back into my life somehow a couple of years ago. It happens now usually at least twice a day. I even pretend that I don't want to be...
    sammy sammy
    22-25, F
    24 Responses Jun 11, 2007

    I started a new school in tenth grade

    and for the first time in my life I found it so hard to find meaningful company at all, I wasn't overweight but another new girl used to call me the chubby new girl which I hadn't thought about before, I slowly developed anorexia nervosa over the semester and when I slipped I...
    zoehammo zoehammo
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Aug 19, 2014

    I've had quite a rough time this past year.

    I began starving myself in middle school but it soon became throwing up whatever I had eaten. It never went away and has gradually subsided in the past 5 years until recently. Usually I would only throw up if I had had a big enough meal, after all these years I cannot stand the...
    verylostcause verylostcause
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Mar 29, 2016

    i ate and and then vomited 6 doughnuts 😣 i

    need to learn to chew and spit...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Dec 11, 2015

    I have struggled with eating disorders

    for 3 years now. It started when my swimming coach asked my to drop some pounds, even though i was healthy. This man started a hell for me, and sometimes I feel he stole a big part of me life. Today I feel bulimi has taking over every part of my life. I have lost all control...
    sarlpede sarlpede
    22-25, F
    2 Responses May 18, 2015

    I really want to recover from bulimia.

    I'm too scared though, I don't want to follow a diet plan and gain weight. I know gaining weight is better then constantly thinking about food all the time but I can't push myself to do it.
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Feb 16, 2015

    So trying not to go throw up!

    :'( I ate too much... it wasn't even that much but my body is not used to eating at night! *sigh* is this what my life has become???
    angelpumpkin36 angelpumpkin36
    36-40, F
    Mar 20, 2016

    I eat because I'm happy,

    I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious circle. . Does anyone recognize this feeling?
    jeanine281 jeanine281
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 23, 2015

    I cooked a box if mac

    and cheese, a veggie burger, and Ramon noodles so I can throw it up. Because throwing up always helped me when I felt terrible. But my mom banged on the door saying she needed something when I was mid throwing up. So I couldn't finish and now I'm contemplating if I should finish...
    BrokeAssBxtch BrokeAssBxtch
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 10, 2015

    I just purged the first full I've eaten in like

    a week or maybe two. Idk. But whatever.
    BrokeAssBxtch BrokeAssBxtch
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 19, 2016
    butterflykisses11 butterflykisses11
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 21, 2016

    I have had a eating disorder

    for 3 years now and it's been over a year and a half since I've kept a meal down, can't help but wonder what's happening to my body and what's going to happen to me. Crazy to think that I haven't kept a meal down for so long but at the same time I'm super proud of myself.
    mariya843 mariya843
    18-21, F
    Sep 2, 2014

    Introducing My Closest Friends, Ana And Mia.

    --First time openly talking about this, so here is a monologue to describe what goes on inside my head. Please let me know what you think, or if you are going through something similar!-- Allow me to introduce you to my two closest friends. They are always there for me. Ana tries...
    ThisOneGirlX ThisOneGirlX
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Nov 3, 2012

    Goodbye Bulimia

    i have been bulimic for several years now, and i've never looked on blogs or anything before to read other people's stories. mostly i just googled information on the body and read health forums and whatnot. but now that i've read other stories i realize bulimia is so completely...
    sabrina0418 sabrina0418
    18-21, F
    24 Responses Sep 26, 2009

    I really need help. During July I lost a lot of

    weight without realising and became comfortable with my size. Although, before this I was already pretty thin. I was a size 8 and still am a size 8 however, my legs and belly are a lot thinner. It wasn't until September time when I started to binge eat without realising...
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Nov 24, 2014

    well it's starting again

    and this time I'm serious about it, I want to lose a lot of weight and become beautiful and skinny, I want ppl to be terrified of looking at me, they keep telling me that my body is perfect, but I hate it so much I want to be so thin that I can see all my bones, I hate food, I...
    Silentsuffer Silentsuffer
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Dec 12, 2015

    I traded in my razor blades

    for my finger tips. I struggled with bulimia for years but it was only on and off. These days the idea of not throwing up my meals scares me.
    LadyAmbrosia LadyAmbrosia
    22-25, F
    Apr 16, 2016

    Am I the only one who can hear her voice?

    The voice of "Mia" reminding you how disgusting you actually are? Reminding you of the things you should do when you eat? What the consequences are when you do eat? And screaming at you not to eat at all? I feel insane when I try to tell others about her, and its almost like...
    JustMeKaila JustMeKaila
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Feb 22, 2014

    byfar the worst thing about bulimia is how some

    refuse to acknowledge it is a true addiction. "you're so selfish", my mom told me, after my 3rd bowl of popcorn. despite my calm demeanor, commenting on how all the things she was saying to me weren't helping build me as a person, she still railed on; trampling over my feelings...
    katalina22 katalina22
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Mar 21, 2016

    I feel like I'm living hell,

    I can't eat fruits anymore cuz my stomach hurt like hell so I purge it, I can't drink milk or eat yoghurt, If I eat something more than a cup I throw it up without wanting to, I wanna recover I really do but I just can't, I try to eat and then those demons start talking again...
    Silentsuffer Silentsuffer
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Jan 18, 2016

    I really trying not to purge right

    now **** it's hard not too
    lonerforlife2 lonerforlife2
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Feb 17, 2016

    Shhh, false promises.

    How many times have you said, "I promise THIS will be the last?" ... Just a few more bites please! Gobble gobble gone. In this disease I play hide and seek, just me and my "best friend" bulimia.
    deleted deleted
    Mar 14, 2016

    I haven't thrown up in a week!

    But, a lot of that is because my teeth hurt. I hate that I ****** my mouth up so how I'm fat and I have bad teeth.
    miabell33 miabell33
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 31, 2016

    I've been bulimic for about 3

    and a half years now, since I was 12 (I'm 15 now). my lowest weight From being an extreme bulimic was 81 lbs at 5'4... I'm not as bad as I used to be because I was in hospital for two months gaining weight, but it still haunts me.. I remember at my most bulimic point in my life...
    katsed katsed
    16-17, F
    2 Responses May 22, 2015

    This Is My Story.......

    W ell my names Serena , im 22, and i believe bulimic. No i havent been diagnosed professionally, just self. I dont remember when it all started, i do remember i used to just bring food up to make people squirm in elementry school, and it went from there. I can control my inside...
    itsbeenajourney itsbeenajourney
    22-25, F
    53 Responses Jan 7, 2008

    I'm suppose to get married in 7 months.

    I need to lose weight. Like a ton. I just started purging and I want to continue to do so just until I lose weight! I'm sick of being fat. 😞😞😞
    kamykamz94 kamykamz94
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 24, 2016

    i can't decide if i should go to residential.

    has anyone been in an adult residential treatment? i've only ever gone as a minor against my will. my bmi is currently 13.5. will they keep me longer than i want and force me to gain to a "healthy" amount? i just want to stay for a bit to get my head together and take a break...
    cymmetry cymmetry
    22-25, T
    2 Responses Mar 21, 2016

    The Painful Journey

    I have had bulimia for 4 years now. As a child I was molested so there was a trigger for my bulimia, but at that stage I just didn't eat for a period of time and then went back to regular eating. I had never told anyone I was molested so in 2008 when I started having nightmares...
    MirandaForever MirandaForever
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Oct 11, 2012

    I Was Ana, Now I Am Mia

    I have bulimia, I thre up three times today.  I wish I could control my eating and that I would stop feeling so guilty for eating.  Does anyone else feel this way?  I used to weigh 85 pounds and now i am so much heavier.  I wish I had someone to talk to that...
    girlkitty79 girlkitty79
    26-30, F
    31 Responses Jun 9, 2007

    I'm almost 29 years old,

    and I've been struggling with bulimia since I was 14. I'm just now finally starting to understand it--where it comes from, how deep it goes, what sets it off for me--and trying to beat it is seriously taking a toll on me, my body, my relationship, everything. That said, if...
    deleted deleted
    4 Responses Dec 4, 2015

    I am 36 yrs old. I have been bulimic

    since I was 14. I used to say I wasn't a "true" bulimic because I didn't throw up every day or every week. problem is once I do start, it's hard to stop. I hate who I've become. I know why I do it and what my triggers are yet I still do it. so, my question: do you think therapy...
    angelpumpkin36 angelpumpkin36
    36-40, F
    1 Response Mar 10, 2016
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