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I Have Bulimia

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,610 People

    I started a new school in tenth grade

    and for the first time in my life I found it so hard to find meaningful company at all, I wasn't overweight but another new girl used to call me the chubby new girl which I hadn't thought about before, I slowly developed anorexia nervosa over the semester and when I slipped I...
    zoehammo zoehammo 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 19, 2014

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    Ashamed And Exhausted

    A short intro: I'm 25, a native of New York, currently living in Hamburg, and perhaps the greatest source of my shame, a man. By no means do I intend to come across as sexist or mysoginist, I just know the statistics and the majority of bulimics are female. In my pivotal teen...
    andrewj1023 andrewj1023 22-25, M 3 Responses Mar 18, 2012

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    Great =/

    I've had bulimia for 3 years but finally got control of it about 7 months ago. I was doing so good with resisting the urge every single day...But now I'm purging again like crazy and I can't stop. =.=
    KawaiiDoll KawaiiDoll 18-21, F 6 Responses Mar 30, 2011

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    And it's back... :/ I cried

    because I haven't had a scale in 4 days... I ate quite a bit today... And I want to throw it all up... Once I'm back at home and alone... This habit is coming back... I'm too fat... And I won't be for too much longer... Oh Mia, how I've missed you... <3
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M Jan 8

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    Bulimia seems to be taking hold again.

    I just look at my body and want to cry. All I see is fat. I feel horrible and want to cut.
    Brokenheartblacksoul Brokenheartblacksoul 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 5

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    Super happy! Went to the park with fam.

    At first I wanted to be alone but then I sucked it up and my dad got me to have fun. I was on cloud 9! Held a baby alligator. We went eat out afterwards but I only ate guacamole with chips bc I was kinda full from breakfast and I didn't wanna feel like purging or have the urge...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 29, 2014

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    I purged last night. Purged

    so much blood it was just gushing out. But it didn't scare me. I'm used to purging blood even if its not usually that much. I know I should be scared for my life but I can't make myself feel it. All I feel is apathy and this overwhelming emptiness that drowns me. I know, if I...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Nov 27, 2014

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    I Know I Know

    I have it, i chose it and it does not define me. i lost 76.2lbs(35kgs) in three months while i was ana.... I'm what you would call a jumper, i get really big then really small. and i hate it. you see when i start i cant stop. normally something gets me jumping, always something...
    skyefyre17 skyefyre17 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 10, 2009

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    Let me tell you a story.

    Once upon a time, Not that long ago A little girl so empty Wanted to fill her sorrow. She stuffed and filled Right to the top So full and sick But unable to stop Until she gagged She spewed her sorrow Into a bag
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 10, 2014

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    After I thought I was done some how I'm pulled

    back in again when I look at food all I can hear is your FAT! My secret will make me sick, so I'm confronting it before I'm too far in to be pulled out.
    babybuckeye babybuckeye 18-21, F 7 Responses Jun 7, 2014

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    Introducing My Closest Friends, Ana And Mia.

    --First time openly talking about this, so here is a monologue to describe what goes on inside my head. Please let me know what you think, or if you are going through something similar!-- Allow me to introduce you to my two closest friends. They are always there for me. Ana tries...
    ThisOneGirlX ThisOneGirlX 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 3, 2012

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    I'm so stupid and ugly

    and fat fat FATTTT!!!!!!!!
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 8, 2014

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    I really need to tell someone about the

    struggle I am going through and I thought this was a good place to start. I was bulimic for 6 years, sometimes purging up to 4 times a day. It had completely taken over my life, my mind was filled with thoughts about how to smuggle more food into my house and binge/purge without...
    needhelp03 needhelp03 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I've only had bulimia got around 4/5 months,

    unlike most people who have had it years. However, I was wondering how long it might take for my period to come back? I know it's indefinite but most people said around 3 months. I've only recently stopped being sick too.
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    I wish I could openly talk about it with my

    friends and family but very few people know. It's completely ruined my life and is ruining my families lives simultaneously. I feel so ashamed even though I know it's not something I have any control over at this point, but I'm so scared of judgement.
    Nethaly Nethaly 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2014

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    I Am Bulimic

    All my life I wasn't too fat, I was just tall and built like my father who was very athletic.  I went through puberty a little faster than my friends, and on top of that I loved food.  I always ate junk and fried food and didnt really care about healthy...
    morgan521 morgan521 18-21, F 12 Responses Jun 14, 2009

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    I Was Ana, Now I Am Mia

    I have bulimia, I thre up three times today.  I wish I could control my eating and that I would stop feeling so guilty for eating.  Does anyone else feel this way?  I used to weigh 85 pounds and now i am so much heavier.  I wish I had someone to talk to that...
    girlkitty79 girlkitty79 26-30, F 32 Responses Jun 9, 2007

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    Today 2 years ago I entered recovery

    for bulimia. I have not binged and purged once since. Two years free from mia!!! It's so nice and the struggle was really hard. But I made it!!!
    JenMarie97 JenMarie97 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    it has been 4 years since beginning of my

    recovery ! yes 4 continuous years :) I was bulimic too , or let's say used to be bulimic . Bulimia can be recovered , you can recover too . sometimes I get flashbacks of my life right before bulimia . I was desperate for people's acceptance , I wanted everyone to like me .and...
    developer developer 22-25 Dec 9, 2014

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    The Painful Journey

    I have had bulimia for 4 years now. As a child I was molested so there was a trigger for my bulimia, but at that stage I just didn't eat for a period of time and then went back to regular eating. I had never told anyone I was molested so in 2008 when I started having nightmares...
    MirandaForever MirandaForever 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 11, 2012

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    I have never received treatment despite

    diagnosis from a psychiatrist; however through treatment and medication for anxiety, depression and insomnia, as well as a general improvement in my confidence and happiness, turning to ED behaviours has become less frequent and I feel like I have come a long way in terms of...
    fromlighttodarkness fromlighttodarkness 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 24, 2014

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    I got through Thanksgiving dinner easy peesey.

    I ate a lil bit so I wouldn't feel like purging. Though I still do but I'm going Black Friday shopping later so I hope I burn cals.
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Nov 27, 2014

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    I first purged about a year ago,

    and by now it's full fledge bulimia. I am getting no help for it, but I'm trying to help myself. Unfortunately my family support network isn't great.
    Istaysecret Istaysecret 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 27, 2014

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    It's been 9 months since I last purged,

    but recently I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror and I just feel so fat. For the first time in months, I have felt like I need to purge. I'm so scared, but I feel like k can't tell anyone. I don't want anyone to know because I'm embarrassed, but I just want to loose...
    Madscheers512 Madscheers512 13-15 1 Response Jan 5

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    This is a journal I wrote on August 17,

    2012 about my parents finding out about my bulimia: they found out! my secrets are all out! I have no more privacy no more dignity and all I'm left with is regret and shame. but am I really the one to blame. they know my secret. they brung me in their bathroom to talk. they...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Dec 17, 2014

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    3 days since I ate. I legitmently wasn't

    interested in food especially after Cory. He's a bad influence on my eating since he hardly eats himself. After a judgement lapse on my part this morning though, I broke down and shoved my face. Felt disgusting and purged. All I could think after the episode was my self control...
    poodahpop poodahpop 18-21, T Dec 1, 2014

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    After turning 18, the big 1 8 you know,

    I only saw a big fatty in the mirror. I was obese and I even had an appointment at my doctor for a gastric. When I got the letter with the time to see my doctor I was so disgusted with myself so I just said '**** the doctor, I can do it for real this time!'. I did, the first 6...
    Skrattdamp Skrattdamp 18-21, F Dec 12, 2014

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    You Can Win The Fight Against Bulimia, I Did 10years Ago!

    Hi there.My name is Amanda and I am 27years old. I had bulimia in high school (almost 10 years ago) and I really struggled with it. I have realized that I am a living testimony that you can win the battle against bulimia and that by telling my story I can help others in need.It...
    akmarais akmarais 26-30 3 Responses Jul 26, 2011

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    How much do people purge

    after bingeing?
    theratlady theratlady 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 19

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    I Feel Ashamed

    It started when I was in high school. I would eat when I was stressed out, once a day after school. I quit for a couple of years and then it crept back into my life somehow a couple of years ago. It happens now usually at least twice a day. I even pretend that I don't want to be...
    sammy sammy 21-25, F 23 Responses Jun 11, 2007

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    Me, a bulimic? No, not me.

    Fast forward a few years and I am no longer a bulimic but it's still hard for me to accept that I was. denial still? Maybe. But I am proud to say that I have not purged in a year and a half and I have no intention of ever doing it again. what made me stop was when I started to...
    ladyfierce ladyfierce 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 14

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    It really sucks :') I've had bulimia

    for almost six years and I've hated every minute of it! Trying to stay positive is pretty hard! The hardest thing is trying to live a normal life! I was starting to get better, then boom! Here we go again :') Oh well, wish me luck! :)
    Marc99 Marc99 16-17, M 7 Responses Aug 17, 2014

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    This Is My Story.......

    W ell my names Serena , im 22, and i believe bulimic. No i havent been diagnosed professionally, just self. I dont remember when it all started, i do remember i used to just bring food up to make people squirm in elementry school, and it went from there. I can control my inside...
    itsbeenajourney itsbeenajourney 22-25, F 54 Responses Jan 7, 2008

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    Why I'm Bulimic

    People may judge me. But they don't know what it's like to be 16 and 5'8/ 346 lbs. they don't know what it's like for your parents to be ashamed of you. So ashamed that all they do it take you to buffets, because they don't want to be seen anywhere else with you. So you start...
    chicin chicin 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 24, 2010

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    Goodbye Bulimia

    i have been bulimic for several years now, and i've never looked on blogs or anything before to read other people's stories. mostly i just googled information on the body and read health forums and whatnot. but now that i've read other stories i realize bulimia is so completely...
    sabrina0418 sabrina0418 16-17, F 24 Responses Sep 26, 2009

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    Does anyone know how long

    after you recover from bulimia your stomach stops bloating?
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 10

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    Am I the only one who can hear her voice?

    The voice of "Mia" reminding you how disgusting you actually are? Reminding you of the things you should do when you eat? What the consequences are when you do eat? And screaming at you not to eat at all? I feel insane when I try to tell others about her, and its almost like...
    JustMeKaila JustMeKaila 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 22, 2014

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    I haven't purged in 4 days,

    mostly due to eating below my limit but my stomach feels slightly better and I have actually lost some weight. I'm sure I'll binge any day soon and **** everything up though. I'm tired of thinking about this constantly.
    poodahpop poodahpop 18-21, T 1 Response Dec 27, 2014

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    I have had bulimia for almost 8 years.

    Starting when I was 16/17. I don't throw up everyday. I go through stages where it can be everyday or more for a week then a week or two of nothing. But I don't think I have ever gone over 2 weeks without throwing up. I have the knuckle thing happening, it's actually quite...
    scarlettsunday scarlettsunday 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    I've been struggling with bulimia

    for just under a year now, but it's really starting to take its toll on me. My hair is falling out, my teeth are yellowing, my throat is burning, I can't keep down any food, not even the healthy ones, and I haven't gotten my period in two months. While I'm four pounds away from...
    BlackIrises BlackIrises 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2014

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    I had a great realization today.

    It has been longer since the last time I made myself sick (6 years) then I actually struggled with bulimia. This realization was soothing, almost a final moment of healing, so it prompted me to share. My story is different than most I read about, mostly because I am a man. I...
    Josh5656 Josh5656 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 5

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    hate seeing girls like this,

    breaks my heart, please message me if your suffering maybe I can help <3
    BeKinD2Ev1 BeKinD2Ev1 22-25, M Jan 6

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    My problem is that even

    after two years I am not able to say "No more, STOP!" ok I tried a lot but whenever I see the amount of food I've eaten I fail. But nowadays I'm really scared because I can see my swollen cheeks and neck and the slight burning in my stomach. I just hope everything will be fine
    HSoonrich HSoonrich 16-17, F Dec 25, 2014

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    I have had a eating disorder

    for 3 years now and it's been over a year and a half since I've kept a meal down, can't help but wonder what's happening to my body and what's going to happen to me. Crazy to think that I haven't kept a meal down for so long but at the same time I'm super proud of myself.
    mariya843 mariya843 16-17, F Sep 2, 2014

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    One thing that caused me to progress to bulimia

    was the thought of having a thigh gap. I don't even know why I would want one, not everyone has them and they're not very appealing, most boys say they're not bothered about them as well. For some reason I've got into my head that boys prefer girls with stick thin legs. It's a...
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 4 Responses Nov 27, 2014

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    I'm more determined to get over bulimia then I

    was before. Does anyone know how I can get over the 'bulimia thoughts'? At school I'm constantly looking at the clock and saying "It's only 20 minutes until lunch" and "What should I have to eat?" I want these thoughts and feelings to go away. I've read that I should think of...
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 28

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    The Journey

     Seven weeks ago i would never have seen myself here and a year earlier i wouldnt have seen myself where i was seven weeks ago.    I found a diary entry from myself today from 2006 when i was fifteen and started purging. Slowly and gradually it got worse. Seven...
    stopthis stopthis 18-21, F 8 Responses Nov 17, 2009

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    I really need help. During July I lost a lot of

    weight without realising and became comfortable with my size. Although, before this I was already pretty thin. I was a size 8 and still am a size 8 however, my legs and belly are a lot thinner. It wasn't until September time when I started to binge eat without realising...
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 6 Responses Nov 24, 2014

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    Hey everyone. I'm new to this site

    so you have to bear with me :))! I have had bulimia for over a year. I have bpd and depression alongside bulimia but for me, Bulimia ruins my life. I love it but I hate it. I want it gone but then I want it back. I am in control, then it is all lost, and partially regained...
    rhiamia rhiamia 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    I really want to recover from bulimia.

    I'm too scared though, I don't want to follow a diet plan and gain weight. I know gaining weight is better then constantly thinking about food all the time but I can't push myself to do it.
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 16

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    Bulimia Is Best Thing Happened To Me :)

    I know it sounds really strange to say that bulimia is the best thing happened in my life , because through recovery i had known many things about myself , i knew that i am good caring sensitive girl like most of us bulimics , and instead of being hurt because of my sensitivity...
    developer developer 22-25 5 Responses Mar 22, 2010

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