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I Have Bulimia

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,698 People

    I've never been good enough

    for anyone. Ever. I have low self esteem, I self harm, I have bulimia nervosa and I starve myself. I'm suicidal. See? A lot of problems. I've been losing a lot of weight lately, which is great, but I feel so weak.
    TeenieGirl TeenieGirl 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 3

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    **** I ate too much..

    . :'( I'm trying to recover from bulimia... I don't want to feel like this. :'(
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 20

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    Where do I start? To be completely honest,

    I don't know how long I have been living with this big Bulimic secret. It's been so many years, I've lost count. I turn 26 in a few months, and I know it started when I was still in high school--I guess if I had to approximate, I'd say it's been roughly 8 or 9 years, tops. It...
    siomariet siomariet 26-30 2 Responses Jun 27, 2014

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    I Feel Ashamed

    It started when I was in high school. I would eat when I was stressed out, once a day after school. I quit for a couple of years and then it crept back into my life somehow a couple of years ago. It happens now usually at least twice a day. I even pretend that I don't want to be...
    sammy sammy 18-21, F 23 Responses Jun 11, 2007

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    Hey everyone. I'm new to this site

    so you have to bear with me :))! I have had bulimia for over a year. I have bpd and depression alongside bulimia but for me, Bulimia ruins my life. I love it but I hate it. I want it gone but then I want it back. I am in control, then it is all lost, and partially regained...
    rhiamia rhiamia 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    I've struggled with eating disorders

    since I was 14, recently, I've put on a tonne of weight and my bulimia seems to have got worse. I find myself over the toilet bowl before I can even think about it after eating ANYTHING. I hate it, but I can't help it.
    Lello37 Lello37 22-25, F 1 Response May 26

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    I really need help. During July I lost a lot of

    weight without realising and became comfortable with my size. Although, before this I was already pretty thin. I was a size 8 and still am a size 8 however, my legs and belly are a lot thinner. It wasn't until September time when I started to binge eat without realising...
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 6 Responses Nov 24, 2014

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    This is a journal I wrote on August 17,

    2012 about my parents finding out about my bulimia: they found out! my secrets are all out! I have no more privacy no more dignity and all I'm left with is regret and shame. but am I really the one to blame. they know my secret. they brung me in their bathroom to talk. they...
    Smelyalata97 Smelyalata97 18-21, F Dec 17, 2014

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    I have had a eating disorder

    for 3 years now and it's been over a year and a half since I've kept a meal down, can't help but wonder what's happening to my body and what's going to happen to me. Crazy to think that I haven't kept a meal down for so long but at the same time I'm super proud of myself.
    mariya843 mariya843 16-17, F Sep 2, 2014

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    tonight... was the first night in a month

    that I puked.... I did it 4times....
    Zellaplayzcreepypasta Zellaplayzcreepypasta 18-21, T 1 Response Apr 26

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    It really sucks :') I've had bulimia

    for almost six years and I've hated every minute of it! Trying to stay positive is pretty hard! The hardest thing is trying to live a normal life! I was starting to get better, then boom! Here we go again :') Oh well, wish me luck! :)
    Marc99 Marc99 16-17, M 6 Responses Aug 17, 2014

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    When you first became bulimic,

    did you start off by only throwing up a little bit? I've been throwing food up for almost 3 years now minus about 10 months where I thought I was clean... And now I've been throwing up every day... Except I've been slowly increasing how much I throw up each day.. Has anyone else...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 27

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    I threw up some of my food today.

    . It was the first time in a long time!! :( I thought I could fight it.. Turns out I can't... :/
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M Apr 26

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    it's become that addiction,

    everytime i eat too much i go straight to the bathroom, i plan my binges to be honest. But now ive done it so much that my throat is so swollen it hurts so much, i wish i could stop but how do you stop such an addiction??
    confusednormalness confusednormalness 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 30

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    New to this group. Anyone struggling with this

    as an adult with children? I'm married and have two children.
    apalemess apalemess 31-35, F 6 Responses Jul 8

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    I Was Ana, Now I Am Mia

    I have bulimia, I thre up three times today.  I wish I could control my eating and that I would stop feeling so guilty for eating.  Does anyone else feel this way?  I used to weigh 85 pounds and now i am so much heavier.  I wish I had someone to talk to that...
    girlkitty79 girlkitty79 26-30, F 31 Responses Jun 9, 2007

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    Haven't eaten yet today.

    Plan to keep it that way. But if I do eat, I'll just throw it up. It'll be okay. :) I'll get skinny soon. :)
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 26

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    I eat because I'm happy,

    I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious circle. . Does anyone recognize this feeling?
    jeanine281 jeanine281 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    After a decade of living with this

    and another decade without it, we're back there again. The punishment feels good, I wonder how far this will go. I don't care.
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 24

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    I have never received treatment despite

    diagnosis from a psychiatrist; however through treatment and medication for anxiety, depression and insomnia, as well as a general improvement in my confidence and happiness, turning to ED behaviours has become less frequent and I feel like I have come a long way in terms of...
    fromlighttodarkness fromlighttodarkness 16-17, F Mar 24, 2014

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    After I thought I was done some how I'm pulled

    back in again when I look at food all I can hear is your FAT! My secret will make me sick, so I'm confronting it before I'm too far in to be pulled out.
    babybuckeye babybuckeye 18-21, F 7 Responses Jun 7, 2014

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    Goodbye Bulimia

    i have been bulimic for several years now, and i've never looked on blogs or anything before to read other people's stories. mostly i just googled information on the body and read health forums and whatnot. but now that i've read other stories i realize bulimia is so completely...
    sabrina0418 sabrina0418 16-17, F 24 Responses Sep 26, 2009

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    I've had bulimia for about 2

    and a half years now.. There was a time for about 10 months or so that I thought I had fought through it... I thought I got past it... But it's back... And it's back harder and stronger than ever... I actually pulled over on the side of a highway so that I could vomit... :/ I...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M Apr 27

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    I Am Bulimic

    All my life I wasn't too fat, I was just tall and built like my father who was very athletic.  I went through puberty a little faster than my friends, and on top of that I loved food.  I always ate junk and fried food and didnt really care about healthy...
    morgan521 morgan521 18-21, F 12 Responses Jun 14, 2009

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    I've been struggling w bulimia

    for about two years now but I am starting to get help with it. I wanna be happy with my body but bulimia only makes me feel guilty and hate myself. The thought of being able to eat a normal sized meal and feel ok about myself knowing I don't have to throw it up after is all I...
    yuuung yuuung 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 26, 2014

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    You Can Win The Fight Against Bulimia, I Did 10years Ago!

    Hi there.My name is Amanda and I am 27years old. I had bulimia in high school (almost 10 years ago) and I really struggled with it. I have realized that I am a living testimony that you can win the battle against bulimia and that by telling my story I can help others in need.It...
    akmarais akmarais 26-30 3 Responses Jul 26, 2011

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    I need to tell someone

    that I burn myself and that I'm bulimic.. But I love the pain of the hot metal on my skin, and I've lost 5kg from being bulimic, so I don't know what to do.
    markinggold markinggold 18-21, F 3 Responses May 25

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    Hi all, I am 25 years old

    and have had an eating disorder for about 10 years. It started with anorexic behaviors as a teenager and a noticeable weight loss, but I was never underweight. This slowly developed into periods of extreme over-eating, followed by self-induced vomiting. In college, my disorder...
    meganexplainsitall meganexplainsitall 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    I'm a little worried about myself.

    Do I have bulimia? I've only purged once or twice. But I hated it so much that now I just fast for a day and a half. This happens once a week or so where I'll just eat everything and anything in sight. It gets triggered even worse if I'm so much around chocolate and sugary...
    MermaidCurry MermaidCurry 18-21, F 1 Response May 5

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    I don't really know how these support forums

    work or whether anyone cares or understands but I am struggling so much. I fell like I'm suffocating and don't know where to turn. I have suffered with Bulimia for 12 years. As a teenager/young adult I suffered for 56 years before a devastating dentist appointment alerted my...
    maxi101 maxi101 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    Am I the only one who can hear her voice?

    The voice of "Mia" reminding you how disgusting you actually are? Reminding you of the things you should do when you eat? What the consequences are when you do eat? And screaming at you not to eat at all? I feel insane when I try to tell others about her, and its almost like...
    JustMeKaila JustMeKaila 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 22, 2014

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    This Is My Story.......

    W ell my names Serena , im 22, and i believe bulimic. No i havent been diagnosed professionally, just self. I dont remember when it all started, i do remember i used to just bring food up to make people squirm in elementry school, and it went from there. I can control my inside...
    itsbeenajourney itsbeenajourney 22-25, F 53 Responses Jan 7, 2008

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    I want to be so thin

    that people whisper about how skinny I've gotten behind my back.
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 16

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    I am 48. 15 years of this disease.

    Have reached out to a psychiatrist and am on different meds. I feel happy and positive for the first time in a LONG TIME. And I have not vomited at all in TWO days. Those who have bulimia bad know how much those 2 days mean to me. Dr says I should go to residential treatment...
    FattaBiggs FattaBiggs 46-50 2 Responses Aug 19

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    I started a new school in tenth grade

    and for the first time in my life I found it so hard to find meaningful company at all, I wasn't overweight but another new girl used to call me the chubby new girl which I hadn't thought about before, I slowly developed anorexia nervosa over the semester and when I slipped I...
    zoehammo zoehammo 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 19, 2014

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    Let me tell you a story.

    Once upon a time, Not that long ago A little girl so empty Wanted to fill her sorrow. She stuffed and filled Right to the top So full and sick But unable to stop Until she gagged She spewed her sorrow Into a bag
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 10, 2014

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    Hi all,

    This is really different. I have always been uncomfortable in my skin, but lately now been more extreme. Today I made myself bring up two meals yesterday one. I have been eating small portions and already have clothes fitting me that recently were tight...
    Bluesky1995 Bluesky1995 18-21, F Jul 30

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    Today 2 years ago I entered recovery

    for bulimia. I have not binged and purged once since. Two years free from mia!!! It's so nice and the struggle was really hard. But I made it!!!
    JenMarie97 JenMarie97 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    Bulimic In Recovery

    I guess i was always a binge eater; i don't remember when i became bulimic.  i remember doing it occasionally in university, and after i graduated when i was alone all the time.  it seemed like i had no friends at all to lean on, except myself.  it got really bad...
    findaway findaway 26-30, F 21 Responses Aug 6, 2007

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    urgh i just binged real baaaaaaddddd

    because of all the family stress and im so mad with myself because i was finally losing some weight! now i've probably gained everything back.. and i cant purge coz my dad is here urgh i feel so sick :( i hate these moments when you feel weak and you let yourself do these...
    confusednormalness confusednormalness 18-21, F Apr 10

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    I hadnt beated bulimia.

    I enjoy eating but then I regret it...
    rebeccava rebeccava 22-25 1 Response Mar 18

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    Ive had it for a year now,

    and a lot has happened during that time, my weight has been at its lowest as well as its highest, my stomach has stopped digesting food and ive lost so much hair. Yet I cant stop. I have this love/hate relationship to food, when im happy i hardly eat - because i want to lose the...
    confusednormalness confusednormalness 18-21, F Mar 30

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    I've been bulimic for about 3

    and a half years now, since I was 12 (I'm 15 now). my lowest weight From being an extreme bulimic was 81 lbs at 5'4... I'm not as bad as I used to be because I was in hospital for two months gaining weight, but it still haunts me.. I remember at my most bulimic point in my life...
    katsed katsed 13-15, F 2 Responses May 22

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    The Painful Journey

    I have had bulimia for 4 years now. As a child I was molested so there was a trigger for my bulimia, but at that stage I just didn't eat for a period of time and then went back to regular eating. I had never told anyone I was molested so in 2008 when I started having nightmares...
    MirandaForever MirandaForever 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 11, 2012

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    I Just turned 28, and I can fit in a pair of

    size 2 jeans. What I cant do is go out to eat with friends (or be the one sitting there, not eating while they all enjoy) , have a drink at ANY kind of function, or drive a car by myself. I take a buttload of pills 4 times a day just so that I can pee. I recently learned I...
    StoneColdJaneAusten StoneColdJaneAusten 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    Mia is creeping up on me again.

    .. I was getting better. I thought I was over it. I thought I'd get through it. But out of nowhere she came back. And next thing I know I'm in the bathroom at work, self inducing vomiting. And for the first time In a long time, I brought my food up. Just a little bit though. But...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M Apr 26