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I Have Bulimia

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,629 People

    I've been struggling with bulimia

    for just under a year now, but it's really starting to take its toll on me. My hair is falling out, my teeth are yellowing, my throat is burning, I can't keep down any food, not even the healthy ones, and I haven't gotten my period in two months. While I'm four pounds away from...
    BlackIrises BlackIrises 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    I hadnt beated bulimia.

    I enjoy eating but then I regret it...
    rebeccava rebeccava 22-25 1 Response Mar 18

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    I want to be so thin

    that people whisper about how skinny I've gotten behind my back.
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    urgh i just binged real baaaaaaddddd

    because of all the family stress and im so mad with myself because i was finally losing some weight! now i've probably gained everything back.. and i cant purge coz my dad is here urgh i feel so sick :( i hate these moments when you feel weak and you let yourself do these...
    confusednormalness confusednormalness 18-21, F Apr 10

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    I have never received treatment despite

    diagnosis from a psychiatrist; however through treatment and medication for anxiety, depression and insomnia, as well as a general improvement in my confidence and happiness, turning to ED behaviours has become less frequent and I feel like I have come a long way in terms of...
    fromlighttodarkness fromlighttodarkness 16-17, F Mar 24, 2014

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    Where do I start? To be completely honest,

    I don't know how long I have been living with this big Bulimic secret. It's been so many years, I've lost count. I turn 26 in a few months, and I know it started when I was still in high school--I guess if I had to approximate, I'd say it's been roughly 8 or 9 years, tops. It...
    siomariet siomariet 26-30 2 Responses Jun 27, 2014

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    I Am Bulimic

    All my life I wasn't too fat, I was just tall and built like my father who was very athletic.  I went through puberty a little faster than my friends, and on top of that I loved food.  I always ate junk and fried food and didnt really care about healthy...
    morgan521 morgan521 18-21, F 12 Responses Jun 14, 2009

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    Hi all, I am 25 years old

    and have had an eating disorder for about 10 years. It started with anorexic behaviors as a teenager and a noticeable weight loss, but I was never underweight. This slowly developed into periods of extreme over-eating, followed by self-induced vomiting. In college, my disorder...
    meganexplainsitall meganexplainsitall 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    I really want to recover from bulimia.

    I'm too scared though, I don't want to follow a diet plan and gain weight. I know gaining weight is better then constantly thinking about food all the time but I can't push myself to do it.
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 16

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    It really sucks :') I've had bulimia

    for almost six years and I've hated every minute of it! Trying to stay positive is pretty hard! The hardest thing is trying to live a normal life! I was starting to get better, then boom! Here we go again :') Oh well, wish me luck! :)
    Marc99 Marc99 16-17, M 6 Responses Aug 17, 2014

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    Hey everyone. I'm new to this site

    so you have to bear with me :))! I have had bulimia for over a year. I have bpd and depression alongside bulimia but for me, Bulimia ruins my life. I love it but I hate it. I want it gone but then I want it back. I am in control, then it is all lost, and partially regained...
    rhiamia rhiamia 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    I haven't purged in 4 days,

    mostly due to eating below my limit but my stomach feels slightly better and I have actually lost some weight. I'm sure I'll binge any day soon and **** everything up though. I'm tired of thinking about this constantly.
    poodahpop poodahpop 18-21, T 1 Response Dec 27, 2014

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    I've been struggling w bulimia

    for about two years now but I am starting to get help with it. I wanna be happy with my body but bulimia only makes me feel guilty and hate myself. The thought of being able to eat a normal sized meal and feel ok about myself knowing I don't have to throw it up after is all I...
    yuuung yuuung 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 26, 2014

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    I eat because I'm happy,

    I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious circle. . Does anyone recognize this feeling?
    jeanine281 jeanine281 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    hate seeing girls like this,

    breaks my heart, please message me if your suffering maybe I can help <3
    BeKinD2Ev1 BeKinD2Ev1 22-25, M Jan 6

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    My problem is that even

    after two years I am not able to say "No more, STOP!" ok I tried a lot but whenever I see the amount of food I've eaten I fail. But nowadays I'm really scared because I can see my swollen cheeks and neck and the slight burning in my stomach. I just hope everything will be fine
    HSoonrich HSoonrich 16-17, F Dec 25, 2014

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    It's been 9 months since I last purged,

    but recently I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror and I just feel so fat. For the first time in months, I have felt like I need to purge. I'm so scared, but I feel like k can't tell anyone. I don't want anyone to know because I'm embarrassed, but I just want to loose...
    Madscheers512 Madscheers512 13-15 1 Response Jan 5

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    Me, a bulimic? No, not me.

    Fast forward a few years and I am no longer a bulimic but it's still hard for me to accept that I was. denial still? Maybe. But I am proud to say that I have not purged in a year and a half and I have no intention of ever doing it again. what made me stop was when I started to...
    ladyfierce ladyfierce 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 14

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    Holding this in for so long

    and I think this is a good place to let it out. If anyone reads this or not it's still helping me out tremendously. High school I was athletic and thin...5ft 7in tall weighing 135 to 138 at my lowest. I didn't worry about my weight. Then I went off to college and quickly gained...
    valley2412 valley2412 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 10

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    Am I the only one who can hear her voice?

    The voice of "Mia" reminding you how disgusting you actually are? Reminding you of the things you should do when you eat? What the consequences are when you do eat? And screaming at you not to eat at all? I feel insane when I try to tell others about her, and its almost like...
    JustMeKaila JustMeKaila 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 22, 2014

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    I really need to tell someone about the

    struggle I am going through and I thought this was a good place to start. I was bulimic for 6 years, sometimes purging up to 4 times a day. It had completely taken over my life, my mind was filled with thoughts about how to smuggle more food into my house and binge/purge without...
    needhelp03 needhelp03 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 22

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    I had a great realization today.

    It has been longer since the last time I made myself sick (6 years) then I actually struggled with bulimia. This realization was soothing, almost a final moment of healing, so it prompted me to share. My story is different than most I read about, mostly because I am a man. I...
    Josh5656 Josh5656 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 5

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    Goodbye Bulimia

    i have been bulimic for several years now, and i've never looked on blogs or anything before to read other people's stories. mostly i just googled information on the body and read health forums and whatnot. but now that i've read other stories i realize bulimia is so completely...
    sabrina0418 sabrina0418 16-17, F 24 Responses Sep 26, 2009

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    Introducing My Closest Friends, Ana And Mia.

    --First time openly talking about this, so here is a monologue to describe what goes on inside my head. Please let me know what you think, or if you are going through something similar!-- Allow me to introduce you to my two closest friends. They are always there for me. Ana tries...
    ThisOneGirlX ThisOneGirlX 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 3, 2012

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    I Was Ana, Now I Am Mia

    I have bulimia, I thre up three times today.  I wish I could control my eating and that I would stop feeling so guilty for eating.  Does anyone else feel this way?  I used to weigh 85 pounds and now i am so much heavier.  I wish I had someone to talk to that...
    girlkitty79 girlkitty79 26-30, F 31 Responses Jun 9, 2007

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    I struggled with bulimia

    when i was a teenager and again in my mid twenties,managed to overcome it or so i thought. 18 months ago i started slimming world as i was massively overweight,at nearly 21stone managed by sticking to plan 100% to lose 7 and a half stone by this last xmas. Had to stop going as...
    swanmere swanmere 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    I really need help. During July I lost a lot of

    weight without realising and became comfortable with my size. Although, before this I was already pretty thin. I was a size 8 and still am a size 8 however, my legs and belly are a lot thinner. It wasn't until September time when I started to binge eat without realising...
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 6 Responses Nov 24, 2014

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    I have had bulimia for almost 8 years.

    Starting when I was 16/17. I don't throw up everyday. I go through stages where it can be everyday or more for a week then a week or two of nothing. But I don't think I have ever gone over 2 weeks without throwing up. I have the knuckle thing happening, it's actually quite...
    scarlettsunday scarlettsunday 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 2

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    And it's back... :/ I cried

    because I haven't had a scale in 4 days... I ate quite a bit today... And I want to throw it all up... Once I'm back at home and alone... This habit is coming back... I'm too fat... And I won't be for too much longer... Oh Mia, how I've missed you... <3
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M Jan 8

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    I wish I could openly talk about it with my

    friends and family but very few people know. It's completely ruined my life and is ruining my families lives simultaneously. I feel so ashamed even though I know it's not something I have any control over at this point, but I'm so scared of judgement.
    Nethaly Nethaly 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2014

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    Ive had it for a year now,

    and a lot has happened during that time, my weight has been at its lowest as well as its highest, my stomach has stopped digesting food and ive lost so much hair. Yet I cant stop. I have this love/hate relationship to food, when im happy i hardly eat - because i want to lose the...
    confusednormalness confusednormalness 18-21, F Mar 30

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    How much do people purge

    after bingeing?
    theratlady theratlady 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 19

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    This Is My Story.......

    W ell my names Serena , im 22, and i believe bulimic. No i havent been diagnosed professionally, just self. I dont remember when it all started, i do remember i used to just bring food up to make people squirm in elementry school, and it went from there. I can control my inside...
    itsbeenajourney itsbeenajourney 22-25, F 53 Responses Jan 7, 2008

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    Why I'm Bulimic

    People may judge me. But they don't know what it's like to be 16 and 5'8/ 346 lbs. they don't know what it's like for your parents to be ashamed of you. So ashamed that all they do it take you to buffets, because they don't want to be seen anywhere else with you. So you start...
    chicin chicin 16-17, F 6 Responses Mar 24, 2010

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    The Painful Journey

    I have had bulimia for 4 years now. As a child I was molested so there was a trigger for my bulimia, but at that stage I just didn't eat for a period of time and then went back to regular eating. I had never told anyone I was molested so in 2008 when I started having nightmares...
    MirandaForever MirandaForever 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 11, 2012

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    Bulimic In Recovery

    I guess i was always a binge eater; i don't remember when i became bulimic.  i remember doing it occasionally in university, and after i graduated when i was alone all the time.  it seemed like i had no friends at all to lean on, except myself.  it got really bad...
    findaway findaway 26-30, F 21 Responses Aug 6, 2007

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    I wanted to share an important discovery

    after recovering from ed for several years. after years of unexplainably losing my appetite, I know learn it's the first trigger to my depression. i thought it was the first sign of ED coming back. so the first signs of my shift in mood and mental stability is my sudden lack of...
    Amy1286 Amy1286 26-30, F Mar 6

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    I'm more determined to get over bulimia then I

    was before. Does anyone know how I can get over the 'bulimia thoughts'? At school I'm constantly looking at the clock and saying "It's only 20 minutes until lunch" and "What should I have to eat?" I want these thoughts and feelings to go away. I've read that I should think of...
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 28

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    Does anyone know how long

    after you recover from bulimia your stomach stops bloating?
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 10

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    I Feel Ashamed

    It started when I was in high school. I would eat when I was stressed out, once a day after school. I quit for a couple of years and then it crept back into my life somehow a couple of years ago. It happens now usually at least twice a day. I even pretend that I don't want to be...
    sammy sammy 18-21, F 23 Responses Jun 11, 2007

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    I started a new school in tenth grade

    and for the first time in my life I found it so hard to find meaningful company at all, I wasn't overweight but another new girl used to call me the chubby new girl which I hadn't thought about before, I slowly developed anorexia nervosa over the semester and when I slipped I...
    zoehammo zoehammo 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 19, 2014

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    This is a journal I wrote on August 17,

    2012 about my parents finding out about my bulimia: they found out! my secrets are all out! I have no more privacy no more dignity and all I'm left with is regret and shame. but am I really the one to blame. they know my secret. they brung me in their bathroom to talk. they...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Dec 17, 2014

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    I Know I Know

    I have it, i chose it and it does not define me. i lost 76.2lbs(35kgs) in three months while i was ana.... I'm what you would call a jumper, i get really big then really small. and i hate it. you see when i start i cant stop. normally something gets me jumping, always something...
    skyefyre17 skyefyre17 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 10, 2009

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    Much better day today.

    Had lunch with a friend and then dinner and a snack. Had urges but No trips to the bathroom. I got this :)
    poodahpop poodahpop 18-21, T Mar 11

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    Bulimia seems to be taking hold again.

    I just look at my body and want to cry. All I see is fat. I feel horrible and want to cut.
    Brokenheartblacksoul Brokenheartblacksoul 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 5

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    After I thought I was done some how I'm pulled

    back in again when I look at food all I can hear is your FAT! My secret will make me sick, so I'm confronting it before I'm too far in to be pulled out.
    babybuckeye babybuckeye 18-21, F 7 Responses Jun 7, 2014

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