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I Have Bulimia

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,542 People

    Can't Think Of A Tittle For This One (:

    This entry might seem little weird as I interviewed myself while writing it and oh well I decided that I want to share MY THOUGHTS this way so here we go. What can I say regarding this matter?Β  It’s relaxing; it gives an amazing feeling after you are done throwing up what you...
    meme30 meme30 18-21, F 6 Responses May 20, 2012

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    I Know I Know

    I have it, i chose it and it does not define me. i lost 76.2lbs(35kgs) in three months while i was ana.... I'm what you would call a jumper, i get really big then really small. and i hate it. you see when i start i cant stop. normally something gets me jumping, always something...
    skyefyre17 skyefyre17 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 10, 2009

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    Sucking in my tummy until I feel my bones

    when I lay on my back is the best feelingπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜„ but I hate when I have to get up πŸ˜–πŸ˜–πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜©πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜’
    Moonlightwolf6 Moonlightwolf6 13-15, F Aug 17

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    Again with the restricting.

    I haven't successfully restricted in at least a year and I've been doing it so easily. I'm happy about it though. Whatever.
    breathelovexo breathelovexo 18-21, F Aug 15

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    It really sucks :') I've had bulimia

    for almost six years and I've hated every minute of it! Trying to stay positive is pretty hard! The hardest thing is trying to live a normal life! I was starting to get better, then boom! Here we go again :') Oh well, wish me luck! :)
    Marc98 Marc98 16-17, M 8 Responses Aug 17

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    Am I the only one who can hear her voice?

    The voice of "Mia" reminding you how disgusting you actually are? Reminding you of the things you should do when you eat? What the consequences are when you do eat? And screaming at you not to eat at all? I feel insane when I try to tell others about her, and its almost like...
    ThatGurlDailyy ThatGurlDailyy 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 22

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    Dear mother, You have always told me

    that you loved me and would never hurt me. But you have lots of times, and it has made me the person I am today. Forcing myself to throw up so I can be pretty, or pretend that I like myself. Every time I look in the mirror I see a pretty face surrounded by fat. Why would you...
    Vickypearl Vickypearl 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 16

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    I Was Ana, Now I Am Mia

    I have bulimia, I thre up three times today.  I wish I could control my eating and that I would stop feeling so guilty for eating.  Does anyone else feel this way?  I used to weigh 85 pounds and now i am so much heavier.  I wish I had someone to talk to that...
    girlkitty79 girlkitty79 26-30, F 32 Responses Jun 9, 2007

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    I Feel Ashamed

    It started when I was in high school. I would eat when I was stressed out, once a day after school. I quit for a couple of years and then it crept back into my life somehow a couple of years ago. It happens now usually at least twice a day. I even pretend that I don't want to be...
    sammy sammy 21-25, F 23 Responses Jun 11, 2007

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    Today 2 years ago I entered recovery

    for bulimia. I have not binged and purged once since. Two years free from mia!!! It's so nice and the struggle was really hard. But I made it!!!
    JenMarie97 JenMarie97 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 28

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    So I have a question.

    Most of the time I just fast because i am mainly anorexic but recently my fat self has been binging then purging like crazy!! My question is, is there anything to do about the teethe marks on the knuckles?? (Or am I the only one who gets them??) also I have already tried to use...
    FatPig303 FatPig303 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 5

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    to warn you-- this is very long.

    Hi! I am new to this site and I have been looking for a place to vent for quite some time now. I want to share my story of how I became bulimic, and hopefully find support to pull me through recovery (trying to recover on my own at this point.) Let me start of by saying I am a...
    southernpearl southernpearl 22-25, F 4 Responses Aug 5

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    I have never received treatment despite

    diagnosis from a psychiatrist; however through treatment and medication for anxiety, depression and insomnia, as well as a general improvement in my confidence and happiness, turning to ED behaviours has become less frequent and I feel like I have come a long way in terms of...
    fromlighttodarkness fromlighttodarkness 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    the thought that i might never overcome this

    terrifies me. i'm so angry that i started this.
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 17

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    Hey everyone. I'm new to this site

    so you have to bear with me :))! I have had bulimia for over a year. I have bpd and depression alongside bulimia but for me, Bulimia ruins my life. I love it but I hate it. I want it gone but then I want it back. I am in control, then it is all lost, and partially regained...
    rhiamia rhiamia 18-21, F Oct 13

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    It honestly makes me

    such a bad person. I have to cancel plans all time because of it and it must look like i totally dont care when i do. im just incapable of looking after myself.
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F Sep 15

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    I just went through a binge/purge session

    and at the end of my purging vomited up blood, it wasn't much but should I be worried ? :-/
    Leteisha Leteisha 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 6

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    I've been struggling w bulimia

    for about two years now but I am starting to get help with it. I wanna be happy with my body but bulimia only makes me feel guilty and hate myself. The thought of being able to eat a normal sized meal and feel ok about myself knowing I don't have to throw it up after is all I...
    yuuung yuuung 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 26

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    Why I'm Bulimic

    People may judge me. But they don't know what it's like to be 16 and 5'8/ 346 lbs. they don't know what it's like for your parents to be ashamed of you. So ashamed that all they do it take you to buffets, because they don't want to be seen anywhere else with you. So you start...
    chicin chicin 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 24, 2010

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    It's the 26th day of my only attempt to stop

    throwing up, and not every day has been perfect diet and sometimes I haven't done any exercise at all on a few of the days but I haven't thrown up once. I thought if I took away that option to throw up, that i would over-eat and it would spiral with gaining-weight and going back...
    zoehammo zoehammo 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 2

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    I feel terrible... Today I ate someone fried

    potatoes and a little bit of yogurt... Purged all of that. Then I ate some pretzels.. felt disgusting and horrible and fat... I need to have some self control but I don't seem to be able to... Help?
    vyrlox vyrlox 18-21, F 19 hrs ago

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    It's turned it's tables.

    The stress from so so so many things have made me just not be able to swallow anymore. I taste. Spit.. I don't even want to binge anymore. But what's better? 12 years bulimia or anorexia? When does it end? I feel cursed. I counted. I had 700 calories in 4 days. That's...
    skinfeeder skinfeeder 26-30 1 Response Sep 23

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    and recovery feels hopeless.

    trying to stay strong
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 10

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    Ashamed And Exhausted

    A short intro: I'm 25, a native of New York, currently living in Hamburg, and perhaps the greatest source of my shame, a man. By no means do I intend to come across as sexist or mysoginist, I just know the statistics and the majority of bulimics are female. In my pivotal teen...
    andrewj1023 andrewj1023 22-25, M 3 Responses Mar 18, 2012

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    Great =/

    I've had bulimia for 3 years but finally got control of it about 7 months ago. I was doing so good with resisting the urge every single day...But now I'm purging again like crazy and I can't stop. =.=
    KawaiiDoll KawaiiDoll 18-21, F 6 Responses Mar 30, 2011

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    and my parents have started to figure it out.

    prior to my bulimia, I would chew some foods like bread and biscuits and spit them out into bags or mugs and my parents have found these bags or mugs 2 or 3 times and questioned me on them. my mum has noticed i've lost a lot of weight and asked if i keep all my food down, my dad...
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 13

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    This Is My Story.......

    W ell my names Serena , im 22, and i believe bulimic. No i havent been diagnosed professionally, just self. I dont remember when it all started, i do remember i used to just bring food up to make people squirm in elementry school, and it went from there. I can control my inside...
    itsbeenajourney itsbeenajourney 22-25, F 54 Responses Jan 7, 2008

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    I have regular dreams of eating a lot food

    and doing nothing about it then wake up stressing out because I think it's really happened, now i've started having dreams where my boyfriend breaks up with me because he thinks i'm fat/telling me to lose weight/telling me thinks really skinny girls are hot. what is going on in...
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F Sep 12

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    I am freaking out. I just overheard my dad

    saying that the draining is blocked from the shower and it's like "someone has been washing themselves with clay" I know exactly what it is. I'm literally just sitting here waiting for him and my mum to add up all the details - the missing food, me eating a lot and not getting...
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 21

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    Bulimic In Recovery

    I guess i was always a binge eater; i don't remember when i became bulimic.  i remember doing it occasionally in university, and after i graduated when i was alone all the time.  it seemed like i had no friends at all to lean on, except myself.  it got really bad...
    findaway findaway 26-30, F 21 Responses Aug 6, 2007

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    Bulimia Is Best Thing Happened To Me :)

    I know it sounds really strange to say that bulimia is the best thing happened in my life , because through recovery i had known many things about myself , i knew that i am good caring sensitive girl like most of us bulimics , and instead of being hurt because of my sensitivity...
    developer developer 22-25 5 Responses Mar 22, 2010

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    Sometimes I wonder what people really see in me,

    I mean, look at me ...I'm hideous. Most times I just stare at myself in the mirror looking for something I find lovely, but lovely is far from what I perceive myself to be. I am a disaster, or even less, I am like the the aftermath. When I look at my body I see disgust. I see 3...
    alicefloe alicefloe 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 17

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    Let me tell you a story.

    Once upon a time, Not that long ago A little girl so empty Wanted to fill her sorrow. She stuffed and filled Right to the top So full and sick But unable to stop Until she gagged She spewed her sorrow Into a bag
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 10

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    I want to recover so badly

    and am starting to feel like I don't want to purge, like I want to binge but I have to really force myself to purge now. I don't want to binge and purge but I want to eat some of the foods that I binge on but I wouldn't be able to eat small amount and stop/eat small amounts and...
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 26

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    The Journey

     Seven weeks ago i would never have seen myself here and a year earlier i wouldnt have seen myself where i was seven weeks ago.    I found a diary entry from myself today from 2006 when i was fifteen and started purging. Slowly and gradually it got worse. Seven...
    stopthis stopthis 18-21, F 8 Responses Nov 17, 2009

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    I hate when I eat. So I make sure

    when I eat, I take a laxative so it gets out of my body quicker.
    lockedsweetheart lockedsweetheart 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 5

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    I Feel Worthless

    About a year ago i changed schools and started in a really high achieving school.... I didn't fit in. Everyone was so smart and outgoing! I started to isolate myself and make myself throw up. I'm now purging up 4-6 times a day. It's starting to take control of me... I told my...
    Liptongal Liptongal 16-17, F 2 Responses May 4, 2012

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    Goodbye Bulimia

    i have been bulimic for several years now, and i've never looked on blogs or anything before to read other people's stories. mostly i just googled information on the body and read health forums and whatnot. but now that i've read other stories i realize bulimia is so completely...
    sabrina0418 sabrina0418 16-17, F 24 Responses Sep 26, 2009

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    I am 18 years old and I have had bulimia

    for over 2 years now. It all started at the end of grade 10 when i decided i wanted to lose weight (i was 150-155 pounds). I will go through periods of restricting without binge/purge and then have a week or a couple days in a row where i binge/purge several times in a day (4 or...
    becky632 becky632 18-21, F Aug 29

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    Hi all, I am 25 years old

    and have had an eating disorder for about 10 years. It started with anorexic behaviors as a teenager and a noticeable weight loss, but I was never underweight. This slowly developed into periods of extreme over-eating, followed by self-induced vomiting. In college, my disorder...
    meganexplainsitall meganexplainsitall 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    I started a new school in tenth grade

    and for the first time in my life I found it so hard to find meaningful company at all, I wasn't overweight but another new girl used to call me the chubby new girl which I hadn't thought about before, I slowly developed anorexia nervosa over the semester and when I slipped I...
    zoehammo zoehammo 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 19

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    After I thought I was done some how I'm pulled

    back in again when I look at food all I can hear is your FAT! My secret will make me sick, so I'm confronting it before I'm too far in to be pulled out.
    babybuckeye babybuckeye 18-21, F 7 Responses Jun 7

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    Hi there, I am very new to this,

    but i also suffer with bulimia, and have done for about 3 years, it's something no one in my family knows about, except my boyfriend who I live with. He actually diagnosed me and is a psychologist. I was completely unaware of what I was doing was harmful and could essentially...
    lostfairy88 lostfairy88 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 11

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    I can't take it anymore.

    I have just broken down in tears whilst getting ready to go out for the first time in months. I have isolated myself from my friends for so long and barely socialised and was forcing myself to go out but I can't anymore. I know I should try but we'd be drinking and drinking when...
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    I can't tell anyone but I feel like

    if I don't soon I'm going to do something stupid. my mum is constantly on my back about stupid things like organising my room and stuff like that like it is my most important thing in the world, she had absolutely no idea that every day is difficult for me at the moment...
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 11

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    I've struggled with anorexia

    and bulimia for more than 8 years now and i don't think i have in it me to continue like this nor do i have the guts to give up .
    kartupenguin kartupenguin 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 10

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    Introducing My Closest Friends, Ana And Mia.

    --First time openly talking about this, so here is a monologue to describe what goes on inside my head. Please let me know what you think, or if you are going through something similar!-- Allow me to introduce you to my two closest friends. They are always there for me. Ana tries...
    ThisOneGirlX ThisOneGirlX 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 3, 2012

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    I Wish I Could Stop Eating.

    I have tried and tried and TRIED for almost two years to stop myself from eating when I'm not completely starving, but I can't ever find the self-control to stop myself. I wish that food tasted bad, but it doesn't. I like eating but I hate what it does to me. I've tried dieting...
    JayTee11 JayTee11 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 17, 2013

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    You Can Win The Fight Against Bulimia, I Did 10years Ago!

    Hi there.My name is Amanda and I am 27years old. I had bulimia in high school (almost 10 years ago) and I really struggled with it. I have realized that I am a living testimony that you can win the battle against bulimia and that by telling my story I can help others in need.It...
    akmarais akmarais 26-30 3 Responses Jul 26, 2011

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    And I think I've made a breakthrough.

    I just realised that my weight loss is the first thing that my mum has really truly praised me for. she has made it very obvious to me through out my life the type of body she likes and admires - skinny. she was almost obsessed about being slim when she was younger and every...
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 6

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    I have had a eating disorder

    for 3 years now and it's been over a year and a half since I've kept a meal down, can't help but wonder what's happening to my body and what's going to happen to me. Crazy to think that I haven't kept a meal down for so long but at the same time I'm super proud of myself.
    mariya843 mariya843 16-17, F Sep 2

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    It's something I developed at 9/10

    and did get really bad then it was ok and now it's quite bad again I just feel like I have to and I feel compelled to do it.
    littlecrazymia littlecrazymia 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 12

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    Where do I start? To be completely honest,

    I don't know how long I have been living with this big Bulimic secret. It's been so many years, I've lost count. I turn 26 in a few months, and I know it started when I was still in high school--I guess if I had to approximate, I'd say it's been roughly 8 or 9 years, tops. It...
    siomariet siomariet 26-30 1 Response Jun 27

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