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I Have Bulimia

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,569 People

    Let me tell you a story.

    Once upon a time, Not that long ago A little girl so empty Wanted to fill her sorrow. She stuffed and filled Right to the top So full and sick But unable to stop Until she gagged She spewed her sorrow Into a bag
    disasterland disasterland 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 10

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    I'm so stupid and ugly

    and fat fat FATTTT!!!!!!!!
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 8

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    I learned a trick, when you purge,

    immediately rinse your mouth with water and chew a tums antacid so your teeth will rot away at a significantly slower pace. I've had bulimia almost 4 years now, purging from 2-6 times daily, and my teeth do not show noticeable sugns of erosion. Just a little bit that happened...
    confuziiled confuziiled 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 6

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    I have regular dreams of eating a lot food

    and doing nothing about it then wake up stressing out because I think it's really happened, now i've started having dreams where my boyfriend breaks up with me because he thinks i'm fat/telling me to lose weight/telling me thinks really skinny girls are hot. what is going on in...
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 12

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    I am freaking out. I just overheard my dad

    saying that the draining is blocked from the shower and it's like "someone has been washing themselves with clay" I know exactly what it is. I'm literally just sitting here waiting for him and my mum to add up all the details - the missing food, me eating a lot and not getting...
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 21

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    Hi all, I am 25 years old

    and have had an eating disorder for about 10 years. It started with anorexic behaviors as a teenager and a noticeable weight loss, but I was never underweight. This slowly developed into periods of extreme over-eating, followed by self-induced vomiting. In college, my disorder...
    meganexplainsitall meganexplainsitall 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    Can't Think Of A Tittle For This One (:

    This entry might seem little weird as I interviewed myself while writing it and oh well I decided that I want to share MY THOUGHTS this way so here we go. What can I say regarding this matter?  It’s relaxing; it gives an amazing feeling after you are done throwing up what you...
    meme30 meme30 18-21, F 6 Responses May 20, 2012

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    I Know I Know

    I have it, i chose it and it does not define me. i lost 76.2lbs(35kgs) in three months while i was ana.... I'm what you would call a jumper, i get really big then really small. and i hate it. you see when i start i cant stop. normally something gets me jumping, always something...
    skyefyre17 skyefyre17 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 10, 2009

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    it has been 4 years since beginning of my

    recovery ! yes 4 continuous years :) I was bulimic too , or let's say used to be bulimic . Bulimia can be recovered , you can recover too . sometimes I get flashbacks of my life right before bulimia . I was desperate for people's acceptance , I wanted everyone to like me .and...
    developer developer 22-25 Dec 9

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    Why I'm Bulimic

    People may judge me. But they don't know what it's like to be 16 and 5'8/ 346 lbs. they don't know what it's like for your parents to be ashamed of you. So ashamed that all they do it take you to buffets, because they don't want to be seen anywhere else with you. So you start...
    chicin chicin 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 24, 2010

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    Goodbye Bulimia

    i have been bulimic for several years now, and i've never looked on blogs or anything before to read other people's stories. mostly i just googled information on the body and read health forums and whatnot. but now that i've read other stories i realize bulimia is so completely...
    sabrina0418 sabrina0418 16-17, F 24 Responses Sep 26, 2009

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    I really need help. During July I lost a lot of

    weight without realising and became comfortable with my size. Although, before this I was already pretty thin. I was a size 8 and still am a size 8 however, my legs and belly are a lot thinner. It wasn't until September time when I started to binge eat without realising...
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 13-15, F 6 Responses Nov 24

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    Where do I start? To be completely honest,

    I don't know how long I have been living with this big Bulimic secret. It's been so many years, I've lost count. I turn 26 in a few months, and I know it started when I was still in high school--I guess if I had to approximate, I'd say it's been roughly 8 or 9 years, tops. It...
    siomariet siomariet 26-30 1 Response Jun 27

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    It honestly makes me

    such a bad person. I have to cancel plans all time because of it and it must look like i totally dont care when i do. im just incapable of looking after myself.
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F Sep 15

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    Bulimic In Recovery

    I guess i was always a binge eater; i don't remember when i became bulimic.  i remember doing it occasionally in university, and after i graduated when i was alone all the time.  it seemed like i had no friends at all to lean on, except myself.  it got really bad...
    findaway findaway 26-30, F 21 Responses Aug 6, 2007

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    I've been struggling w bulimia

    for about two years now but I am starting to get help with it. I wanna be happy with my body but bulimia only makes me feel guilty and hate myself. The thought of being able to eat a normal sized meal and feel ok about myself knowing I don't have to throw it up after is all I...
    yuuung yuuung 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 26

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    After I thought I was done some how I'm pulled

    back in again when I look at food all I can hear is your FAT! My secret will make me sick, so I'm confronting it before I'm too far in to be pulled out.
    babybuckeye babybuckeye 18-21, F 7 Responses Jun 7

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    Sometimes I wonder what people really see in me,

    I mean, look at me ...I'm hideous. Most times I just stare at myself in the mirror looking for something I find lovely, but lovely is far from what I perceive myself to be. I am a disaster, or even less, I am like the the aftermath. When I look at my body I see disgust. I see 3...
    alicefloe alicefloe 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 17

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    the thought that i might never overcome this

    terrifies me. i'm so angry that i started this.
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 17

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    Bulimia Is Best Thing Happened To Me :)

    I know it sounds really strange to say that bulimia is the best thing happened in my life , because through recovery i had known many things about myself , i knew that i am good caring sensitive girl like most of us bulimics , and instead of being hurt because of my sensitivity...
    developer developer 22-25 5 Responses Mar 22, 2010

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    The Painful Journey

    I have had bulimia for 4 years now. As a child I was molested so there was a trigger for my bulimia, but at that stage I just didn't eat for a period of time and then went back to regular eating. I had never told anyone I was molested so in 2008 when I started having nightmares...
    MirandaForever MirandaForever 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 11, 2012

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    Great =/

    I've had bulimia for 3 years but finally got control of it about 7 months ago. I was doing so good with resisting the urge every single day...But now I'm purging again like crazy and I can't stop. =.=
    KawaiiDoll KawaiiDoll 18-21, F 6 Responses Mar 30, 2011

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    I just went through a binge/purge session

    and at the end of my purging vomited up blood, it wasn't much but should I be worried ? :-/
    Leteisha Leteisha 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 6

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    One thing that caused me to progress to bulimia

    was the thought of having a thigh gap. I don't even know why I would want one, not everyone has them and they're not very appealing, most boys say they're not bothered about them as well. For some reason I've got into my head that boys prefer girls with stick thin legs. It's a...
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 13-15, F 4 Responses Nov 27

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    I Wish I Could Stop Eating.

    I have tried and tried and TRIED for almost two years to stop myself from eating when I'm not completely starving, but I can't ever find the self-control to stop myself. I wish that food tasted bad, but it doesn't. I like eating but I hate what it does to me. I've tried dieting...
    JayTee11 JayTee11 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 17, 2013

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    Ashamed And Exhausted

    A short intro: I'm 25, a native of New York, currently living in Hamburg, and perhaps the greatest source of my shame, a man. By no means do I intend to come across as sexist or mysoginist, I just know the statistics and the majority of bulimics are female. In my pivotal teen...
    andrewj1023 andrewj1023 22-25, M 3 Responses Mar 18, 2012

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    Super happy! Went to the park with fam.

    At first I wanted to be alone but then I sucked it up and my dad got me to have fun. I was on cloud 9! Held a baby alligator. We went eat out afterwards but I only ate guacamole with chips bc I was kinda full from breakfast and I didn't wanna feel like purging or have the urge...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 29

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    I wish I could openly talk about it with my

    friends and family but very few people know. It's completely ruined my life and is ruining my families lives simultaneously. I feel so ashamed even though I know it's not something I have any control over at this point, but I'm so scared of judgement.
    Nethaly Nethaly 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I can't tell anyone but I feel like

    if I don't soon I'm going to do something stupid. my mum is constantly on my back about stupid things like organising my room and stuff like that like it is my most important thing in the world, she had absolutely no idea that every day is difficult for me at the moment...
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 11

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    I Feel Ashamed

    It started when I was in high school. I would eat when I was stressed out, once a day after school. I quit for a couple of years and then it crept back into my life somehow a couple of years ago. It happens now usually at least twice a day. I even pretend that I don't want to be...
    sammy sammy 21-25, F 23 Responses Jun 11, 2007

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    This Is My Story.......

    W ell my names Serena , im 22, and i believe bulimic. No i havent been diagnosed professionally, just self. I dont remember when it all started, i do remember i used to just bring food up to make people squirm in elementry school, and it went from there. I can control my inside...
    itsbeenajourney itsbeenajourney 22-25, F 54 Responses Jan 7, 2008

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    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 12

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    Today's been a really good day

    and I've not wanted to binge at all. I've eaten well and I was just downstairs preparing some potatoes to put in the oven when my dad started criticising the way I was doing it. I stuck to my guns and went with the way I was doing it rather than change to what he was telling me...
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F Nov 19

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    I started a new school in tenth grade

    and for the first time in my life I found it so hard to find meaningful company at all, I wasn't overweight but another new girl used to call me the chubby new girl which I hadn't thought about before, I slowly developed anorexia nervosa over the semester and when I slipped I...
    zoehammo zoehammo 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 19

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    It really sucks :') I've had bulimia

    for almost six years and I've hated every minute of it! Trying to stay positive is pretty hard! The hardest thing is trying to live a normal life! I was starting to get better, then boom! Here we go again :') Oh well, wish me luck! :)
    Marc98 Marc98 16-17, M 8 Responses Aug 17

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    I first purged about a year ago,

    and by now it's full fledge bulimia. I am getting no help for it, but I'm trying to help myself. Unfortunately my family support network isn't great.
    Istaysecret Istaysecret 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 27

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    I feel terrible... Today I ate someone fried

    potatoes and a little bit of yogurt... Purged all of that. Then I ate some pretzels.. felt disgusting and horrible and fat... I need to have some self control but I don't seem to be able to... Help?
    vyrlox vyrlox 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 29

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    I Am Bulimic

    All my life I wasn't too fat, I was just tall and built like my father who was very athletic.  I went through puberty a little faster than my friends, and on top of that I loved food.  I always ate junk and fried food and didnt really care about healthy...
    morgan521 morgan521 18-21, F 12 Responses Jun 14, 2009

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    I haven't purged in nearly over a week!

    It doesn't sound like long but when I used to purge everyday it's a big step! I'd like to say thank you to everyone who was kind enough to help me, I probably wouldn't of done it without them!:)
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    I Was Ana, Now I Am Mia

    I have bulimia, I thre up three times today.  I wish I could control my eating and that I would stop feeling so guilty for eating.  Does anyone else feel this way?  I used to weigh 85 pounds and now i am so much heavier.  I wish I had someone to talk to that...
    girlkitty79 girlkitty79 26-30, F 32 Responses Jun 9, 2007

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    Dear mother, You have always told me

    that you loved me and would never hurt me. But you have lots of times, and it has made me the person I am today. Forcing myself to throw up so I can be pretty, or pretend that I like myself. Every time I look in the mirror I see a pretty face surrounded by fat. Why would you...
    Vickypearl Vickypearl 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 16

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    Introducing My Closest Friends, Ana And Mia.

    --First time openly talking about this, so here is a monologue to describe what goes on inside my head. Please let me know what you think, or if you are going through something similar!-- Allow me to introduce you to my two closest friends. They are always there for me. Ana tries...
    ThisOneGirlX ThisOneGirlX 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 3, 2012

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    3 days since I ate. I legitmently wasn't

    interested in food especially after Cory. He's a bad influence on my eating since he hardly eats himself. After a judgement lapse on my part this morning though, I broke down and shoved my face. Felt disgusting and purged. All I could think after the episode was my self control...
    poodahpop poodahpop 18-21, T Dec 1

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    I have had daily bulimic episodes

    for about 5 months now.. and it's sucking the life out of me i don't know what to do anymore.. i'm distancing myself from my family and from my friends, i think about food all the time, and the stress of it is just so much to bear.. and i can't talk to anyone because they'll...
    xeffyx xeffyx 16-17 2 Responses Nov 9

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    i have a group of best friends

    who are all tiny woth perfect bodys. i am not huge. a 10/12. but i feel like a giant ogre every time i am with them. long story short i have progressively been making myself throw up more and more every day. tonight has been the worst i have binged 5 times and thrown up six...
    lostgirl1991 lostgirl1991 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 1

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    Am I the only one who can hear her voice?

    The voice of "Mia" reminding you how disgusting you actually are? Reminding you of the things you should do when you eat? What the consequences are when you do eat? And screaming at you not to eat at all? I feel insane when I try to tell others about her, and its almost like...
    ThatGurlDailyy ThatGurlDailyy 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 22

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    This is a journal I wrote on August 17,

    2012 about my parents finding out about my bulimia: they found out! my secrets are all out! I have no more privacy no more dignity and all I'm left with is regret and shame. but am I really the one to blame. they know my secret. they brung me in their bathroom to talk. they...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I purged last night. Purged

    so much blood it was just gushing out. But it didn't scare me. I'm used to purging blood even if its not usually that much. I know I should be scared for my life but I can't make myself feel it. All I feel is apathy and this overwhelming emptiness that drowns me. I know, if I...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Nov 27

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    After turning 18, the big 1 8 you know,

    I only saw a big fatty in the mirror. I was obese and I even had an appointment at my doctor for a gastric. When I got the letter with the time to see my doctor I was so disgusted with myself so I just said '**** the doctor, I can do it for real this time!'. I did, the first 6...
    Skrattdamp Skrattdamp 18-21, F Dec 12

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    The Journey

     Seven weeks ago i would never have seen myself here and a year earlier i wouldnt have seen myself where i was seven weeks ago.    I found a diary entry from myself today from 2006 when i was fifteen and started purging. Slowly and gradually it got worse. Seven...
    stopthis stopthis 18-21, F 8 Responses Nov 17, 2009

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    It's turned it's tables.

    The stress from so so so many things have made me just not be able to swallow anymore. I taste. Spit.. I don't even want to binge anymore. But what's better? 12 years bulimia or anorexia? When does it end? I feel cursed. I counted. I had 700 calories in 4 days. That's...
    skinfeeder skinfeeder 26-30 1 Response Sep 23

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