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I Have Bulimia

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,764 People

    I feel like I'm living hell,

    I can't eat fruits anymore cuz my stomach hurt like hell so I purge it, I can't drink milk or eat yoghurt, If I eat something more than a cup I throw it up without wanting to, I wanna recover I really do but I just can't, I try to eat and then those demons start talking again...
    Silentsuffer Silentsuffer 13-15, F 3 Responses Jan 18

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    I really want to recover from bulimia.

    I'm too scared though, I don't want to follow a diet plan and gain weight. I know gaining weight is better then constantly thinking about food all the time but I can't push myself to do it.
    FrickenChicken FrickenChicken 16-17, F 4 Responses Feb 16, 2015

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    I Am Bulimic

    All my life I wasn't too fat, I was just tall and built like my father who was very athletic.  I went through puberty a little faster than my friends, and on top of that I loved food.  I always ate junk and fried food and didnt really care about healthy...
    morgan521 morgan521 18-21, F 12 Responses Jun 14, 2009

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    I cried almost all day

    when I got home till I fell asleep because I had a small portion of lasagne, with like two carrots, and an ice cream bar. I wanna throw it up soooo badly but I know I can't go back to doing that so I just starve my self and avoid binging as much as possible. :'(
    whenwherewhat whenwherewhat 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 18, 2015

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    I started a new school in tenth grade

    and for the first time in my life I found it so hard to find meaningful company at all, I wasn't overweight but another new girl used to call me the chubby new girl which I hadn't thought about before, I slowly developed anorexia nervosa over the semester and when I slipped I...
    zoehammo zoehammo 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 19, 2014

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    Goodbye Bulimia

    i have been bulimic for several years now, and i've never looked on blogs or anything before to read other people's stories. mostly i just googled information on the body and read health forums and whatnot. but now that i've read other stories i realize bulimia is so completely...
    sabrina0418 sabrina0418 16-17, F 24 Responses Sep 26, 2009

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    I Was Ana, Now I Am Mia

    I have bulimia, I thre up three times today.  I wish I could control my eating and that I would stop feeling so guilty for eating.  Does anyone else feel this way?  I used to weigh 85 pounds and now i am so much heavier.  I wish I had someone to talk to that...
    girlkitty79 girlkitty79 26-30, F 31 Responses Jun 9, 2007

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    I'm almost 29 years old,

    and I've been struggling with bulimia since I was 14. I'm just now finally starting to understand it--where it comes from, how deep it goes, what sets it off for me--and trying to beat it is seriously taking a toll on me, my body, my relationship, everything. That said, if...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Dec 4, 2015

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    I eat because I'm happy,

    I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious circle. . Does anyone recognize this feeling?
    jeanine281 jeanine281 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 23, 2015

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    Hi all, I am 25 years old

    and have had an eating disorder for about 10 years. It started with anorexic behaviors as a teenager and a noticeable weight loss, but I was never underweight. This slowly developed into periods of extreme over-eating, followed by self-induced vomiting. In college, my disorder...
    meganexplainsitall meganexplainsitall 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    purged 3 times today.

    finally just took a sleeping pull so I'll hopefully go to sleep soon and not eat again so I don't purge again. I know my risks...it's just not enough today.
    fight4life fight4life 31-35, F Nov 22, 2015

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    Seizures from purging.

    ..that's what my treatment team is worried about. I'm on medications that lower my threshold for seizures, and on a medication that can directly cause seizures due to purging. The fear was finally put in me that a seizure could happen to me, so purging has been at a minimum, but...
    fight4life fight4life 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 19, 2015

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    everything in me is screaming at me to rid

    myself of my lunch. I feel extremely nauseated and know purging will solve this feeling. I hate being back in this place, that I can't tolerate food.
    fight4life fight4life 31-35, F Dec 1, 2015

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    My bulimia is killing me slowly.

    I can't handle it anymore.
    eternal22talibat eternal22talibat 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 1, 2015

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    And it's back... :/ I cried

    because I haven't had a scale in 4 days... I ate quite a bit today... And I want to throw it all up... Once I'm back at home and alone... This habit is coming back... I'm too fat... And I won't be for too much longer... Oh Mia, how I've missed you... <3
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M Jan 8, 2015

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    I've been struggling w bulimia

    for about two years now but I am starting to get help with it. I wanna be happy with my body but bulimia only makes me feel guilty and hate myself. The thought of being able to eat a normal sized meal and feel ok about myself knowing I don't have to throw it up after is all I...
    yuuung yuuung 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 26, 2014

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    i ate and and then vomited 6 doughnuts 😣 i

    need to learn to chew and spit...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 11, 2015

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    Hey I'm trying to recover from bulimia

    and talking to other people who are struggling helps me more than anything else. Kinda weird. Anyways if you want to talk call me, 7074990617.
    CaitlinScof CaitlinScof 22-25, F Jan 5

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    This Is My Story.......

    W ell my names Serena , im 22, and i believe bulimic. No i havent been diagnosed professionally, just self. I dont remember when it all started, i do remember i used to just bring food up to make people squirm in elementry school, and it went from there. I can control my inside...
    itsbeenajourney itsbeenajourney 22-25, F 53 Responses Jan 7, 2008

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    I want to binge and purge and binge

    and purge. And fxcking splurge. Then purge. But I don't want to, I want to be normal, But I'm feeling shaky hands reach in that pantry, Gotta pull it back, Can't have it, I'm having an attack, In my brain, Too much pain, Feeling drained. Gotta fill my self up So I can't...
    BrokeAssBxtch BrokeAssBxtch 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 7, 2015

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    It hurts. It hurts to see your 135 pound

    friend with a flat stomach It hurts to weigh 170-175 pounds It hurts to see her thin waist and nice ***, it hurts so fuking bad. It hurts to pinch all my fat on my stomach. It hurts to be fat... It hurts to puke, but being fat is worse.
    SadlySafe SadlySafe 13-15, F 3 Responses Nov 27, 2015

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    I have had a eating disorder

    for 3 years now and it's been over a year and a half since I've kept a meal down, can't help but wonder what's happening to my body and what's going to happen to me. Crazy to think that I haven't kept a meal down for so long but at the same time I'm super proud of myself.
    mariya843 mariya843 18-21, F Sep 2, 2014

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    It is so much better

    than in years past. But when I am nauseous/sick with an illness or drunk, my hand always finds its way down my throat to relieve the discomfort.
    Godlevel Godlevel 18-21 Jan 20

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    beccahayley beccahayley 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 22

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    Does anyone else also get

    so jealous of people when they have a stomach bug or something and they're throwing up? I have no sympathy for them. I wish I had that bug. In my head I'm like "Oh! So it's okay for you to throw up but when I throw up it's a disorder??" I can't even throw up when I'm sick cause...
    Lemons2000 Lemons2000 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 19, 2015

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    so it all started a few months back,

    during the beginning of summer. my entire life I was a heavy kid. and well I used it to an advantage, so I thought, I played football and powerlifted, to be honest this was my excuse to be fat. I was this all the way through highschool until I decided to do something about this...
    Eazy63 Eazy63 18-21 2 Responses Dec 4, 2015

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    This is a journal I wrote on August 17,

    2012 about my parents finding out about my bulimia: they found out! my secrets are all out! I have no more privacy no more dignity and all I'm left with is regret and shame. but am I really the one to blame. they know my secret. they brung me in their bathroom to talk. they...
    BrokeAssBxtch BrokeAssBxtch 18-21, F Dec 17, 2014

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    Where do I start? To be completely honest,

    I don't know how long I have been living with this big Bulimic secret. It's been so many years, I've lost count. I turn 26 in a few months, and I know it started when I was still in high school--I guess if I had to approximate, I'd say it's been roughly 8 or 9 years, tops. It...
    siomariet siomariet 26-30 2 Responses Jun 27, 2014

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    I Feel Ashamed

    It started when I was in high school. I would eat when I was stressed out, once a day after school. I quit for a couple of years and then it crept back into my life somehow a couple of years ago. It happens now usually at least twice a day. I even pretend that I don't want to be...
    sammy sammy 18-21, F 24 Responses Jun 11, 2007

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    I'm not overweight or anything (at least I

    don't think I am) but I just hate my body, and right now I'm really struggling with how it looks. Which is weird for me considering I have gone through most of my teen years with confidence. I just want to lose a few extra pounds but they just aren't coming off... I cut sugar...
    Ken7ny Ken7ny 16-17, F Nov 10, 2015

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    it's become that addiction,

    everytime i eat too much i go straight to the bathroom, i plan my binges to be honest. But now ive done it so much that my throat is so swollen it hurts so much, i wish i could stop but how do you stop such an addiction??
    confusednormalness confusednormalness 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 30, 2015

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    I THINK I HAVE BULIMIA.

    .. i decided to start eating 100 calories a day. ANY TIPS?
    omgitsmeariel omgitsmeariel 13-15, F 3 Responses Nov 23, 2015

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    After I thought I was done some how I'm pulled

    back in again when I look at food all I can hear is your FAT! My secret will make me sick, so I'm confronting it before I'm too far in to be pulled out.
    babybuckeye babybuckeye 18-21, F 7 Responses Jun 7, 2014

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    I've been bulimic for about 3

    and a half years now, since I was 12 (I'm 15 now). my lowest weight From being an extreme bulimic was 81 lbs at 5'4... I'm not as bad as I used to be because I was in hospital for two months gaining weight, but it still haunts me.. I remember at my most bulimic point in my life...
    katsed katsed 13-15, F 2 Responses May 22, 2015

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    People always say I'm

    so lucky because I'm 'so skinny' and 'eat loads'. What they don't know is I don't even swallow my food most of the time, I must be so lucky.
    FJolly97 FJolly97 18-21, F Feb 2

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    I cooked a box if mac

    and cheese, a veggie burger, and Ramon noodles so I can throw it up. Because throwing up always helped me when I felt terrible. But my mom banged on the door saying she needed something when I was mid throwing up. So I couldn't finish and now I'm contemplating if I should finish...
    BrokeAssBxtch BrokeAssBxtch 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2015

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    Tell someone 2 or so years ago is

    when I first started the cycle of binge and purge. Now that's not to say I never before binged, that'd be disingenuous. I've always been somewhat of a heavy eater and at one point I prided myself on my buffet ability. However, my first purge proved to diminish what little self...
    Dylan0C Dylan0C 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2015

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    This is quite hard for me.

    I tried eating a small baggy of pretzels today without throwing up but then my stomach hurt.. It's like it knows I need to..😞
    Newgirl9999 Newgirl9999 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 18, 2015

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    The Painful Journey

    I have had bulimia for 4 years now. As a child I was molested so there was a trigger for my bulimia, but at that stage I just didn't eat for a period of time and then went back to regular eating. I had never told anyone I was molested so in 2008 when I started having nightmares...
    MirandaForever MirandaForever 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 11, 2012

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    Last night was a "You shall suffer the

    consequences of all your actions" night. I was racked with pain and loneliness. Physical pain from acid, and loneliness as I had to divorce my husband. I lost the support of much of my family when I came out as pansexual. I don't know what hurt worse. I took all the mess I had...
    tygerseye tygerseye 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    Am I the only one who can hear her voice?

    The voice of "Mia" reminding you how disgusting you actually are? Reminding you of the things you should do when you eat? What the consequences are when you do eat? And screaming at you not to eat at all? I feel insane when I try to tell others about her, and its almost like...
    JustMeKaila JustMeKaila 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 22, 2014

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    I've been purge free

    for 1 year as of today❤️ recovery is possible.
    beccuh beccuh 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2015

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    Introducing My Closest Friends, Ana And Mia.

    --First time openly talking about this, so here is a monologue to describe what goes on inside my head. Please let me know what you think, or if you are going through something similar!-- Allow me to introduce you to my two closest friends. They are always there for me. Ana tries...
    ThisOneGirlX ThisOneGirlX 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 3, 2012

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    well it's starting again

    and this time I'm serious about it, I want to lose a lot of weight and become beautiful and skinny, I want ppl to be terrified of looking at me, they keep telling me that my body is perfect, but I hate it so much I want to be so thin that I can see all my bones, I hate food, I...
    Silentsuffer Silentsuffer 13-15, F 5 Responses Dec 12, 2015

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    I just purged the first full I've eaten in like

    a week or maybe two. Idk. But whatever.
    BrokeAssBxtch BrokeAssBxtch 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 19

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