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I Have Chronic Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 155 People

    October 2002

    I was sitting out in the woods where I most loved to be, in my new truck which I had ust bought in July,with a gun I had just bought a couple of days earlier stuck in my mouth......I had "camped out" there for three days wanting so desperately to end it all and hoping...
    IndyJoe IndyJoe 41-45, M 6 Responses May 28, 2008

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    Down and Out

    I have alot of ups and downs. I am now finally getting a handle on my chronic depression. I am finally on the right meds that make me feel like a human again. Plus I have the right doctor to talk to and to evaluate me. I still have good days and bad days. But not like they used...
    picgirl picgirl 31-35, F 8 Responses Mar 3, 2008

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    I'm not going to try

    and write down how I feel because It's hard to explain what's going on in your head to someone when you don't even know your self. I was diagnosed with depression last may although I could have gotten tablets to help me along the road to recovery I didn't take them I wanted it...
    whatevestbh whatevestbh 16-17, F Jan 20

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    I need to admit this.

    Nobody else knows this, but now you do. Keep it close, so close that it almost steals your breath: Sometimes... Just sometimes I feel like I want to wander into traffic. Stumble from the sidewalk and get hit by a car. In some irrational wavelength this makes sense to me. It's...
    AddyAddyAddy AddyAddyAddy 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 20

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    I'm sixteen years old,

    and my depression is overwhelming. It interferes with my daily life, and I don't know how to control it. Most days feel hopeless. And I'm stuck this way for the rest of my life.
    Kenliye Kenliye 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 17, 2014

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    The Curse

    This haunting is unbearable Years later and it still remains The sounds get louder, the steps get closer, I can't get away. Every time I move, It follows. Every time I run, It becomes faster. Will I ever be free? These demons chase me into my lightest days and bring their...
    Canadian45 Canadian45 22-25 Nov 15, 2012

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    Still Undiagnosed

    Hearing your stories is valuable for me, so I thought I would share mine just in case it hits a nerve with someone else. I just turned 42 and by all accounts, I have what some would call a "pretty good" life. I've checked off many of those "boxes" you are supposed to by the time...
    TMichael1220 TMichael1220 41-45, M 1 Response Jan 30, 2013

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    I Can't Be Saved

    I have been depressed since my early teens. It has never gone away, in fact it gets progressively worse each year I live on this earth. I am now 23, soon to be 24 and I can't help but feel broken and empty when I think about a lifetime I have spent depressed. Well, maybe not a...
    muffintop muffintop 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    Alone. Afraid And Wondering

    I have been depressed most, if not all my life, terrible mental illness on both sides of the family and it appears that I have inherited traits from each group. To say that life has been a struggle is an understatement. Since about a year ago I have had some major disruption in...
    Excitablegirl Excitablegirl 51-55 2 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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    I'm a 17 year old girl

    and even if i'm young i feel empty and dead. My dad was an alcoholic and he died when i was nine. My mother devorced from him because he was beeing mean to my sister all the time and she couldn't take it any more. She hated me because our dad was good to me but not to her...
    kitkat1612 kitkat1612 18-21, F 2 Responses May 4, 2014

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    My greatest fear is there is no bottom.

    When I think I've hit bottom, that wasn't really bottom. Chronic depressed is eating me alive.
    Stephnobody Stephnobody 26-30, F Jan 19

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    Lost, Trapped, Faded.

    I'm feeling cool and even rather calm, I feel almost nothing, a few hits of gloom, I'm like an ocean with lots of waves. A rough ride indeed, from calm to rocky, Stuck in the middle of the ocean, with no way out, Not sure if I will ever find the shore. I am lost. Then suddenly...
    Canadian45 Canadian45 22-25 Nov 14, 2012

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    I have depression. I can be short with people.

    Sometimes I want to lay in bed all day. I can't get excited about anything. I am not good at having a conversation. I don't have motivation and it effects my work. I get bored
    gypsy1983 gypsy1983 31-35, F Jun 26, 2014

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    Each day gets harder

    and harder, coming into work, having no motivation, feeling like I am moving in really slow motion. I see everyone around me being successful yet I feel like such a failure. It seems all the effort I put in to advance in my life it just doesn't matter it is never enough. I can't...
    NiteOwlet NiteOwlet 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 20, 2014

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    i am so sick of being numb.

    i cant connect with others anymore. i cant feel happiness. holidays are horrible for me because everyone is so cheerful and happy and here i am being lame and numb. i am sick of living. i just want to die honestly. it never goes away. i plan ways to die all the time. ive been...
    maddisonn maddisonn 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2014

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    I Have Chronic Depressiion

    Hi, I'm at the point in my history with anxiety/depression that I can see the benefit of accepting that I have chronic depression. Most of my life has been a struggle. It is quite interesting to read the available research regarding how many people do not recover or are...
    Resilience Resilience 36-40, M 3 Responses Nov 1, 2009

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    Fighting the Black Dog

    About sixteen years ago I sat in the bathroom sobbing. I had meds out to take and the only thing that stopped me was the fact that my husband was out of town for the night, and my kids were only 6,5, and 1. and I didn't want them to be left without an adult in the house. If my...
    kelleah kelleah 41-45, F 5 Responses Oct 25, 2008

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    Sleep I want you forever!

    I never want to wake up again!
    Littlebikiechick Littlebikiechick 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 6, 2014

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    There are so many mornings

    that I'm disappointed that I woke up again.
    WWB82 WWB82 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 23

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    WWB82 WWB82 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 23

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    Related Experiences

    I have chronic pain, fatigue, migraines, sinus infections, etc. Not to mention I'm allergic to nearly everything. I'm sick of taking 20 pills with each meal. No one believes me...
    magicalenby magicalenby 16-17, T 1 Response Jan 19

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    I have had, depression, bi polar, and anxiety since I was 10 yrs old when my dad died I am now 38 and just lost my grandma that raised me I try not to be for my wife and son which...
    bert102176 bert102176 36-40, M 1 Response Jan 23

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    ive never been diagnosed but i think i have PTSD. i think my child birth brought it out. i had a long scary horribly painful delivery and almost had a c section cause we were...
    brebauer brebauer 18-21, F 1 hr ago

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    As if being bi-polar and having insomnia wasn't enough, I've had to deal with chronic migraines since the age of seven. Yeah there's a good enough reason as to why they probably...
    PepsiPlunge PepsiPlunge 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 4

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    im suffering from chronic back pain for three years..i visited more than 15 doctors for my back pain..my MRI & Xray reports all are normal..some doctors told me to take...
    zarin006 zarin006 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 17

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    Please read, I have a question for anyone who suffers from mental disorders. But first, a little bit (briefly) about my mental health history: I was diagnosed with ADHD...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 3

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    So for many reasons I'm weaning off of my medication for my migraines. Surprisingly it's going pretty well. I've been on keppra for about 2 years my dose was 1000 mg extended...
    WynonnaMarye WynonnaMarye 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    Ok so this is important for anyone who has CFS or anything like it. I have had this illness for 4 1/2 years now, and I've been to a fair number of doctors. But it took awhile to...
    Invisibleninja12 Invisibleninja12 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 14

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    My depression is my most reliable companion. No matter what I achieve on any given day, no matter how far I've come in reaching my goals, it's always there whispering bitter...
    SourPennies SourPennies 18-21, T Jan 19

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    I am so tired of feeling like I have to put on a front for everyone and pretend that everything is ok and all rainbows and sunshine so cps doesn't take my daughter away cause...
    RedsSaphire RedsSaphire 31-35, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I have come to realize I have depression. I remember growing up as a kid I would start crying being sad for no reason. Now I try my best to pull through
    love9494 love9494 18-21 1 Response Jan 4

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    Ever since I was a young child I have battled social anxiety disorder. Social situations always made me anxious and at times panicky. When I was a teen I came to realize that I was...
    tormentedinternally tormentedinternally 26-30, M 2 Responses Jan 12

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    i have on and off depression since i was 12. its starting to come back again, i feel like self harming again. but i promised my bestfriend i wouldnt do that anymore, an im not...
    crazyhyperkid crazyhyperkid 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 18

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    I have had all 3 from when I was just a child my mom when you was around would kick and hit me, my grandma and grandparents were raising me I called him dad because we were so...
    bert102176 bert102176 36-40, M 2 Responses Jan 23

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    I know there just fireworks but they bring me back to that scary day where I used to live alone when I had my first apartment at 19. I lived upstairs so the guy under me had a meth...
    kjonesr kjonesr 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 1

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    She's to young </3 Not yet do the parents know that they will soon be the youngest grandparents on the block. Walking through the store, everyone stares but no one says a...
    AlphaBloodMoon AlphaBloodMoon 13-15, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I have been feeling truly alone lately I have no one to talk to or I feel I can trust
    Mallexx Mallexx 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    How do you guys manage CFS? Seems like I can't live a normal life like I used to.
    awesomesauce2 awesomesauce2 22-25, M 4 Responses Jan 8

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    Found a very good read! Check it out http://www.drmyhill.co.uk/wiki/CFS_-_The_Central_Cause:_Mitochondrial_Failure#Explanation_of_the_Fatigue_Problems_in_CFS_Patients
    awesomesauce2 awesomesauce2 22-25, M Jan 18

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    Diagnosed at age 16. It's been hell. I hate my bladder. So dang painful!!
    slar515 slar515 22-25, F 4 days ago

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    I wish I could go a day without crying or hating myself 😔
    hannahthewhovian hannahthewhovian 13-15, F Jan 8

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    Reason - parents were cool but narcissists and left us alone to fend for ourselves at age 4,6 and 9. They go to Peru, Equador .. Whatever struck their fancy. All in all I lucked...
    Warmways Warmways 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 12

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    Sed te amo, nunquam me amas.... Something's are hard to say </3 if you actually try to figure it out then you must care. Even if it's a little bit.
    AlphaBloodMoon AlphaBloodMoon 13-15, F 6 days ago

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    I am tired. Tired of living, trying to get out of bed. I don't want to do anything but sleep until I die. And the older I get the more I realize that it will never end. I will...
    nothingandno1 nothingandno1 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    It's hard. Sometimes it'll go away for months and I'll be the happiest person in the world, but then there are times like these where I get so depressed, I contemplate my reason...
    1Nanotherlife 1Nanotherlife 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I started battling chronic depression since I was 7. I was a quiet kid and I trusted easily until that day. This guy that lived down the street from me came to my house. This guy...
    Ashton146 Ashton146 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 11

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    A time before I was truly depressed, I was worried about depression. I thought I was happy, bubbly, I liked living. Those moments where I would stare in the bathroom mirror with an...
    BridieNM BridieNM 13-15, F Jan 1

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    I have battled depression for the majority of my life. It started when I was 7 years old from the death of my father. We were best buddies and when he passed away it sent me into a...
    srb76 srb76 36-40, M 4 Responses 6 days ago