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I Have Commitment Issues

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 371 People

    I really want to focus on one person like I did

    years ago, but after that 7 year disaster and having to start over I just can't seem to commit. I say I do, but it's as if I have one foot outside the door already. I feel like I'm waiting for them to mess up so I don't have to commit bc every time I get close to trying they do...
    VanitySux VanitySux 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 29

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    I used to . I knew it is

    because of my child abuse experience and later on my self esteem was low and I got depressed. I failed to love myself and all I had is : hatred, disgust and anger. I wanted myself to die and I prayed for many nights for that to happen. I couldn't see my self worth and I just...
    StrongWoman9 StrongWoman9 26-30, F Jul 30

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    Why do I only want someone

    until I have them? I hate this feeling, I want to be with someone but, often, when I get them I start to feel detached. It's gotten to the point that I'm afraid to pursue a relationship because I don't want to hurt someone. I want to love someone with out any inhibition, I've...
    RobertE22 RobertE22 31-35 1 Response Apr 5

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    I am recently divorced

    and began a new relationship right away. I have been dating this man for 1 and 1/2 years and have been living with him for a year. I love him very much and he is the perfect boyfriend. The only issue that really bothers me is that he is significantly older than be by 27 years...
    mcsmilz88 mcsmilz88 31-35, F Jun 9, 2014

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    I don't know what's wrong with me.

    .I hurt men. Commitment scares me.. like I'm being strangled...to the point where I can feel my tummy in knots... I play games...I flirt with no guilt...I lead people on. My thoughts of real love have dimished...
    Amichi Amichi 41-45, F 2 Responses May 12, 2014

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    Shes Always On My Mind

    I have a fear of commitment. I push people away when they show me a little bit of love. Even though I desperately need their love. I fear that when I am in front of them they wont like what they see. They will reject me and that would just crush me. Im crazy about this girl, and...
    TadaAsatoorian TadaAsatoorian 22-25, M Jun 21, 2013

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    ι aм aғraιd oғ coммιтмenт ιтѕ

    noт a pнoвιa, ιтѕ jυѕт мe ι donт ѕee мyѕelғ wιтн ѕoмeone ι alwayѕ pιcтυre мy relaтιonѕнιpѕ endιng wιтн eιтнer мy нearт вroĸen or мe вreaĸιng ѕoмeone'ѕ нearт мoѕтly тнeιr нearт вroĸen
    KinqqSavae KinqqSavae 13-15, F Apr 28

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    It makes life in general harder.

    I want to date and have friends that are my friends more than a few months but it's extremely difficult for me because I'm either too trusting and I get hurt or I'm not trusting at all which is a recipe for disaster. I also have a problem committing to projects.
    Anonymoussouthernbabe Anonymoussouthernbabe 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 18

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    How can I over come my commitment issues?

    I'm currently single and looking but when someone comes around I want out of it faster then lightning. I have no idea where it all started, and I would love to be in a real committed relationship. How do I overcome these fears and actually feel normal? 😥
    theshellofthesea theshellofthesea 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 9, 2014

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    Not afraid to commit actually,

    I'm full on board if/when the time comes. I guess the "non commital" part comes from the fact I'm afraid I'll never make him happy for one. Two, we will get bored of one another...of course this is the fearful side of me talking. The future always makes me fearful.
    Lov3intheasylum Lov3intheasylum 31-35, F Aug 22

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    I'm a tedious selfish pit

    but I want her to gravitate closer
    Mittons Mittons 18-21 Jul 12

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    So I'll be honest here

    and just say that I dislike commitment. It's a problem that I've always wrestled with and is actually one of the reasons that makes dating hard because I just don't really get into the relationship as much as the other person. This is aggravating to both sides because on my side...
    NeonAf NeonAf 13-15, F May 30

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    A Monster'S Dilemma

    I just realized that I am incapable of "being in love" and that I am also thoroughly incapable of commitment to other people. In short, I just like the company/companionship - but it never goes anywhere.Also, I also found out a major turn off - I hate it when I am "smarter" than...
    MonsterBeneathYourBed MonsterBeneathYourBed 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 6, 2013

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    My record of dating a guy

    so far is 4 days, I always end up dumping them.
    PointlessSafety PointlessSafety 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    I Can't Commit to Anything In Life

    I have commitment problems in relationships and with places. I can't seem to stay in one place physically or emotionally long enough to forge anything of real value. I love people, but can't stay, because i'm always on the move, I relocate about every six months, because i...
    username8 username8 22-25 25 Responses Feb 15, 2009

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    This Is Sad

    my longest relationship has been like 4 months and im never really completely happy, I know by now that its not the woman and its all me and I dont know what to do to fix it but my views currently are that im never going to get married and have kids because I wouldnt want to...
    sayiwont sayiwont 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 31, 2009

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    Every time I get into a relationship,

    a couple of days later, I just feel like I'm not good enough and it just makes me want to break it off. I'm either out of their social class or I can't be who they want me to be. I think I have commitment issues. Somebody once told me that a long time ago, but I didn't want to...
    MaryRiddle3 MaryRiddle3 16-17, F Apr 12, 2014

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    My relationships have turned into 2 months max,

    I quickly end up resenting the people I'm with for not being able to fulfill my wants and needs, I'm difficult and rare but I don't want to make myself simple just to settle. I keep having mediocre relationships and the last 3 ended with them not texting or calling me back, ever...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 22

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    He has commitment issues not me.

    I want to help him but I don't know how and he keeps pushing me away. If you have commitment issues how would you want someone to help you?
    pankakes33 pankakes33 22-25, F May 30, 2014

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    I don't know why I do,

    but I always had it to be honest it gets quite annoying. No matter how much I loved, I always drifted myself apart and was on my own journey. I enjoy the feeling of love, but it doesn't control me nor it overwhelms me. Its when it gets deep into being with someone, I leave. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 8

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    Marriage

    So today a friend of mine got married. I'm happy for her and I know it's what she wants but, I found out that I am definately terrified of marriage. So she had a very intimate ceremony with just close friends and a commisioner, and I was one of her witnesses. So I was sitting...
    RedIce15 RedIce15 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 31, 2011

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    I also have a shared experience being a

    hopeless romantic.I think the simplest way to say is,I am wary to trust,but once I fall in I give my all.I think that movie Breakfast At Tiffany was based on my life (In a bit modern context,with guys who use "sup?" and I am too clumsy to pretend I'm Audrey Hepburn)
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F Jan 15

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    What does it feel like to commit yourself to

    another human being? Do you have expectations of that person going into a relationship? What are you hoping to gain from that relationship as a result? As a result of giving yourself to another? What has your experience been like with commitment overall? In any relationship...
    AquariusLife AquariusLife 26-30, F 5 Responses Sep 30, 2014

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    I know . I'm indecisive.

    I don't trust anyone . I'm aware . I'm working on it but if you know you can't work with it don't work with me .
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 18

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    It would be so easy for you to break the

    happiness in me, It would be so easy for you make me yearn and scream, It would be so easy,If I let you in . Where the trust I give becomes my enemy , every moment I love,becomes my imprisonment, and my happiness becomes a game to your whims. I don't like the loneliness that...
    aquabunny aquabunny 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 14

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    I've been hurt and damaged.

    I have self esteem issues and don't know if I'll ever fully believe any man can truly love me with all my imperfections. Every time I meet a good man, a genuinely nice man, you actually gives a **** about me, I push them away. I hurt and I hurt until they've had enough. Why...
    mitted mitted 18-21, F 2 Responses May 12, 2014

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    Because of a disease

    that is stable in essence, but can change almost instantly, I am pretty much forced to live day by day. I hardly plan anything more than a month ahead and there is a reasonable chance I won't be around in 5 years anymore. That makes it hard to commit to anything big. Another...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 22, 2014

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    Maybe I'm Just Retarded.

    I don't know. Maybe it's the thought of being with the wrong person that freaks me out. Maybe I'm heartless and unworthy of love. Maybe I can't open up to someone. Maybe I fear being rejected after I express my love. Maybe I'm a wuss. Maybe I'm a *****. Maybe I'm still a little...
    imsohorridithurts imsohorridithurts 18-21 5 Responses Jan 5, 2011

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    I've lived in five countries,

    gone to five schools. In these schools I've always had a lot of friends. This isn't me trying to show off or anything, but people always wanted me to work with them, or to help them with something or they would just want to talk to me. But after I left, they would all try to...
    TxSS TxSS 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 28, 2014

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    I seem to be unable to handle a relationship.

    I realize this after having three boyfriends within this year.... ( ._.) Like I want romance and a good relationship, but when I'm actually in the relationship, I want to get out as soon as possible. I get freaked out and want to bail. Why is that? O.o I feel like I'm not even...
    InvaderGashloog InvaderGashloog 70+, F 2 Responses Aug 31, 2014

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    Ok guys! This is bad.

    I don't wanna commit to my bf cuz I'm scared. I told him that I like him but I don't wanna commit. And he says it's either u commit or we are just friends. I mean I really like him but ugh I don't want to commit idk why! How!? He just doesn't get it.. #its complicated
    Froths Froths 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    Okay so basically i have really bad commitment

    issues.... I think and i really don't know why. Basically i have two parents and they have been together for almost 30 years And i thought commitment issues would only be a thing single parent children would have. But honestly the thought of short term relationships, or...
    cutiepatootie96 cutiepatootie96 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 19, 2014

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    An Aversion To Men

    To fall in love is to lose control, and to lose control is to lose your life… “Dooo do do do dooododo doot doot dodoot dodoot do do” Mario’s theme song is playing from my cell phone. Another text. How do I say I’m not interested anymore without actually having to say it...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 4, 2011

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    How Do I Not Be Afraid Of Men And Commitment?

    When I was in high school, I practically ran from every guy the asked me out. I rejected EVERY single one. Not because I didn't find them attractive (most of them were actually really cute) I just were scared of them. I am only 17 years old and I think I am at least attractive...
    PharaohAzul PharaohAzul 16-17, F 1 Response May 20, 2013

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    My Predicament

    Now, I had my heart shattered to pieces about 10 months ago... and I truly want love and feel I would have lot's to offer to a partner. I so badly want that feeling. Now I've had men interested in me some whom are very good guys and good to me. but I cannot commit.. It's like I...
    adorablue adorablue 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 9, 2012

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    Nope!

    i hadn't really been on ep for some time, until recently, so i thought i'de have a look at the experience groups i was a member of. and i found this one!  ha!  i don't feel this way anymore.  on the contrary, i think i'm ready!  for something deep, lasting, meaningful, and...
    natasha9 natasha9 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 28, 2012

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    I'm 27 and I've been in 6 relationships

    that have only ever lasted a year or just over, I've broke it off with them all.. Seem to have a good reason at the time but really its me picking silly little faults about them, I'm not perfect and I know that, why do I keep pushing these great guys away? I've never been in...
    ssjosie87 ssjosie87 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 19, 2014

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    It's extremely hard for me to form long lasting

    intimate relationships with a man. I fear letting anyone get close to me. And it's getting in the way of the relationship. I hold myself back...for whatever reason :(
    NightOwl076 NightOwl076 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 30, 2014

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    So. Just came here after doing a bunch of

    quizzes to help me figure out if I am a commitment phobe or not :) I can't say I tick all the boxes. I am currently in a long term relationship (4 yrs) and have endured long term relationships in the past (2 yrs max). So I know I can have relationships. I can enter relationships...
    yellowtrees yellowtrees 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 1, 2014

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    00Broken00 00Broken00 18-21, F 1 Response May 1

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    Oneder81 Oneder81 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 2, 2014

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