I Have Depersonalization Disorder

A Depersonalization Disorder anonymous support group with information on diagnosis, treatment, symptoms, along with personal stories and experiences with Depersonalization Disorder. You're not alone. 699 People

    I guess I'll try this website again with hope

    that someone might answer me. can someone please just help me. reading some stories on here really made me feel hopeless. I know there's an answer out there somewhere that doesn't involve medication & I will not give up until I find it. it's only been about two weeks, but 6 days...
    katieruddy katieruddy
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Dec 30, 2015

    Listen to me please, you reading this right

    now I know you're going through a very very hard time but you will get better you will get through this, you're growing as a person I had this "disorder" for 5 years I smoked pot had a very bad experience and that's when it all started probably like many of you reading this, it...
    Itsgoingtobeokayipromise Itsgoingtobeokayipromise
    22-25, M
    Aug 1, 2015

    it's to the point where i'm responding to my

    name by instinct not because i believe thats who I am. i've never been in a serious relationship because I dont even know myself. its so weird to feel like your in someone elses body watching them do things and hear what they say. im locked in my mind and i know who i am INSIDE...
    jdors45 jdors45
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Nov 5, 2015

    I just recently learned a name

    for this, but I've felt it as long as I can remember. I look in the mirror and I don't recognize the person looking back at me. Logically, I know it's me, but it's also not me at the same time. I take a selfie and, again, I know it's me, but I don't feel any connection to the...
    AmayaTsuki AmayaTsuki
    26-30, F
    Dec 26, 2015

    I feel so confused most days,

    I just don't feel like im really here, I feel like Im in a movie watching myself or something. I don't know it's weird, I feel disconnected from my body. it's like my mind and my body are separate. when I look in a mirror I don't recognise myself. like I know it's me but it...
    EnjoyTheSilenceX EnjoyTheSilenceX
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jul 3, 2014

    Read This.

    You've heard a lot about perception I'm guessing. But probably more along the lines of "oh that's what you think, that's your perception", as if it's solely about opinions. Turns out treating your problems as a label, calling it a disorder, or whatever that's victimizing you, is...
    eyeopening eyeopening
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Apr 27, 2013

    I don't have it, but it interests me.

    I am here to talk to anybody who wants to talk about what it's like, or even just to chat. I've never experienced it, but I know of and a bit about it. Basically, just anyone who needs to chat, message me.
    Profclouseau Profclouseau
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Aug 1, 2014

    New Thoughts

    I dont expect anyone to believe in me or to even agree with me and i dont really care for that matter. maybe someone will read this and maybe it will help them in dealing with what i went through or maybe it'll make it that much worse for them, who knows..but i'll keep on writing...
    lmpulsive lmpulsive
    22-25, M
    32 Responses Feb 17, 2011

    After years of deleting my profile

    and moving on from this site convincing myself I didnt need it anymore, here I am in the same group that got me started. I'm glad to see this group and community has grown so much since then. I spoke and met with so many amazing people that have encouraged me to be strong at the...
    livefree93 livefree93
    22-25, M
    1 Response Apr 10, 2016

    I have had this disorder

    for a little over 11 months now. It's taken over me, taken who I used to be, the happy young girl. Sociable, empathetic and caring, all gone. What is left is this empty shell working on its own accord, everything on autopilot. And then I look at my hands. These strangers hands...
    Stemperence Stemperence
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Nov 28, 2013

    The psychiatrist that I spoke with today also

    said that doctors who would have to do autopsies on people that they knew back in the day and they would have to depersonalize theirselves to be able to operate on these people. Because they wouldn't be able to do it without depersonalizing themselves. So found that interesting...
    Jackinabox123 Jackinabox123
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jul 29, 2015

    I feel so worthless and alone right now.

    I don't want to bother anyone close to me with my issues because I know they are all going through their own stuff so they shouldn't have to deal with my stuff too.
    tubbycat1234 tubbycat1234
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 5, 2016

    When depersonalizing,

    am I the only one who questions their body parts? To me, when it happens I feel like I'm inside a movie, sort of. And I'll look at my hand and it doesn't feel like mine, and it looks strange to me. And say if I get up to walk, I'll be like "are these REALLY my legs? How am I...
    n0ceur n0ceur
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Feb 10, 2015

    I'm 17, and I've been suffering with this

    for a little over a year. It has been the worst thing to ever happen to me. This is the scariest mental illness I have ever experienced, and I'm hoping through this site to gain a little hope. Right now, it feels like it's never going to get better. I'm going to college next...
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Oct 5, 2014

    I have depersonalization disorder we believe to

    be the result of complex post traumatic stress disorder. I have a very rare and life threatening disease and my near death experiences and lack of appriopriate care at times have lead me to disassociate. When things get particularly stressful, I disengage and start convincing...
    saltloveandlight saltloveandlight
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jun 19, 2014

    I went to my first therapist appointment today

    and I think it went okay. All that I could keep thinking though was that she wasn't going to be able to help me and this horrible feeling would never go away. I've read before that this is a common feeling during dp/dr so I'm not too worried. But then I came home from the...
    tubbycat1234 tubbycat1234
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 4, 2016

    Hello everyone, I was told about 5 years ago

    that I suffered from depersonalization. Then life happened, well... it seems like I've watched it happen. I'm not writing to complain about this, I'm actually looking to see if anyone would want to chat with my about their experiences. with love p
    tryingtofigureitout95 tryingtofigureitout95
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jun 23, 2015

    My Story....

    i had a really bad childhood. for me personally i find it hard to deal with and i am not peapred to write it down just yet out in the open. but i believe that my bad childhood, is the root of my problem. it started when i was 13. one night after watching a movie. i fetl suddenly...
    lmpulsive lmpulsive
    22-25, M
    16 Responses Sep 3, 2009

    Well here goes.....This is my story/life with

    Bpd/depersonalisation etc.Windmenschen, is the german word for depersonalisation, and it means "People of the wind" or "People made of wind."I guess I have had it most of my life, feeling spaced out, not connected to my body,...i would look at 'my' hands and they feel & look...
    cakejumper cakejumper
    36-40, M
    3 Responses Sep 21, 2015

    Recoverd Depersonalization

    I just want to let everyone know there is hope to get over dp and dr. i had it for over two years and the recovery process took like 6 mos or so. i will be blogging about before recovery, what i went through during recovery, and now :)
    kendra198907 kendra198907
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Mar 24, 2012

    I had another episode the other day.

    I had to go all day freaking out that people could tell I "wasn't there". It felt like I was in a movie. I could touch something but not feel it. My face was disappearing in the mirror. I was walking on air. I had so many panic attacks. It's gone now, but I hate when it comes...
    saviscool saviscool
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jun 23, 2014

    Living the Dream, Literally.

    All of the stories posted before me are basically the same, and I don't blame anyone who has written before me, because i feel exactly the same way.  I just want to ask a question and would really appreciate if someone could reply to it: are there groups for...
    HisNameisFrank HisNameisFrank
    18-21, M
    14 Responses Feb 14, 2009

    Anyone Who Has Dp...please Read!!!

    I developed my anxiety/panic/ DP/DR after smoking a joint when I was 13...It was like the movie "NUMB" (which if you guys haven't seen you should) It is all about this...It stars...OMG..ummm Chandler from friends and it is about a guy who smokes too much pot one night and then...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses May 30, 2011

    I have never felt particularly connected to the

    world, it had always been like I was floating slightly above it, not really feeling, not really seeing, not really living. But it is getting better. I used to look at myself in the mirror and my mind would start to panic about the stranger looking back at me, even though I...
    acealien acealien
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 11, 2015

    Just had my biggest fear come true I completely

    lost control of myself and went crazy.. All I remember is I was laying on the bathroom floor cause I was feeling a bit nauseous then I got really anxious and starting having an episode then all of a sudden I'm in my room balling my eyes out on my bed and my dad is screaming at...
    Mayleehawkeye Mayleehawkeye
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 7, 2014

    I've been dealing with depersonalization

    for about 4 months. It hit me totally random one night, I was standing there and all of the sudden my vision changed and I felt like I wasn't a real person and as if life wasn't real. I wasn't in my body and everything was fake. Sometimes things will get blurry and move back and...
    graciouslove graciouslove
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 15, 2015

    I remember experiencing it during classes,

    and I'd think and be tempted of doing something highly inappropriate and illogical just so I can feel something (guilt, fear embarrassment..), to get myself out of the ghost state. It was like all the emotions and ideas are floating behind some imaginary wall. That I can't...
    Puresadness Puresadness
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 30, 2015

    The Pure Truth.

    I'm not letting anything behind this time. This is me. I have been feeling like this for about year and a half. It is part of what I think might be Depersonalization Disorder. And if it isn't, it's damn close. The thing is that I only feel half-aware of what I do, like I can...
    AZChomp644 AZChomp644
    22-25, M
    4 Responses Oct 4, 2013

    Does anyone have control issues?

    I walk around my house or life in general and just don't feel in control... Like I feel like I'm a robot or something? Not the out of body experience, just the feeling of not being in control at all... And I have existence issues like what does it really mean to "be" and what is...
    Rusty2324 Rusty2324
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Aug 27, 2014

    I hope someone on here

    that has gotten rid of this horrible feeling can help me be rid of it also. I remember the first time I ever experienced it. I was about seven years old standing in my aunts kitchen after just moving to a different place, but I didn't really know much I was upset because I was...
    katieruddy katieruddy
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 29, 2015

    My boyfriend is in the military

    and we are currently long distance and I know I love him, but my head keeps distancing me from him. I'm loosing emotions for him like missing him and all that jazz. But I know in my heart and when we talk and when I really try hard to think about him that I do love him. I just...
    semperfigirlfriendxo semperfigirlfriendxo
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 2, 2015

    Cured And A Better Person Now

    hey how are you doing you dont know me but i decided to come back and read about people going through depersonalization , why ? 1 year ago it happened to me and i felt the same way you are feeling right now i literary though i was dying and i felt i had no...
    reinaldocastellanos reinaldocastellanos
    22-25, M
    4 Responses Jan 11, 2013

    I Used To Have No Identity Until...

    I invited the PERSON of Jesus Resurrected to Come and Live inside of me and take over this body... And He Did! A Marriage occured! Two becoming One. He is now the Head of this body. I felt dead before, and now I am Alive Forever! It is what I was designed for from the beginning...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Feb 13, 2013

    I am 50 years old and I have had DPD

    since I was 14. I just found out yesterday that DPD exists and that I am not the only one on the planet that has this condition. I suffered from anxiety/panic attacks ever since I can remember (pre-kindergarten), they called it being "shy" it got unbearable in my pre-teens and...
    arleneat50 arleneat50
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Oct 15, 2015

    A Living Hell: My Depersonalization Story

    I'm gonna tell you about this kid who's life had been traumatized by negative events, how his ego had been crushed, how his confidence had simply diminished into thin air, and how his strive for life itself completely stopped. Then I'm gonna tell you how he came out of all of...
    ThatOneGuy57 ThatOneGuy57
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Sep 19, 2013

    I am and 18 year old female.

    I guess my depersonalization set in after I smoked weed this one time. It was pretty "loud" you could say but anyways I smoked and felt fine and ever since even after the high was gone I havent felt the same. I feel like i am just floating inside my body a lot of the time and...
    hateraidwontmakemefaid hateraidwontmakemefaid
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 3, 2016

    Just A Tidbit For People Newly Going Through This Disorder....

    I, too, have depersonalization/derealization disorder. I used to have it constantly, then it became intermittent, and like you, I was terrified of what happened, when and if it would happen again, and I spent my days in fear, fear of the event itself, and fear of the return...
    Mytherapystsayz Mytherapystsayz
    26-30, F
    1 Response Aug 20, 2011

    I honestly thought something this could happen

    to me. I'm a 17 year old male and this really sucks. So I'll start from the beginning. I was probably the healthiest I've ever been in my whole life physically and mentally. After 10th grade I lost about 45 lbs Bc of wrestling and I honestly felt great. My life was pretty much...
    Jeffaking Jeffaking
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Nov 4, 2015
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Oct 4, 2015

    I have been struggling with dp/dr my entire

    life. Ive struggled every day but the dp/dr lasts no more than 10 hours. I just recovered from a 5 day 'episode.' I am now using my knowledge of this disorder to talk to others. Please feel free to ask questions and share your story. I would love to talk
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Aug 15, 2015
    faithinmyself faithinmyself
    18-21, F
    Nov 12, 2015

    Over the past year or two,

    I've been finding it more and more difficult to distinguish between when I'm dreaming and when I'm conscious. My dreams feel more vivid than real life. Kind of like an alternate reality. When I look in the mirror, I rarely recognize that it's me, and I often have to remind...
    Surreal657 Surreal657
    26-30, F
    1 Response Aug 28, 2015

    I decided to say my story about my

    Depersonalization Disorder. I began to be really depressed when i moved away from my family and really good friends. I got into this horrible depression and wanted to die so bad. So, my parents decided to move to another state which btw im in right know and my depression has...
    Arlenev Arlenev
    18-21, F
    1 Response Sep 22, 2014

    Attention to anyone with DPD/DRD

    that wants their sex drive back! I started taking an herbal supplement from GNC called steel libido and it totally helps. I was hesitant at first but I did research and nothing in it is harmful. I take 4 before my boyfriend and I hook up and it totally does the trick. Takes a...
    reenab29 reenab29
    22-25, F
    Sep 21, 2014

    Um hi. So. I actually haven't been diagnosed

    with this (because I won't see my therapist and yeah) but I have talked about it before to my doctor and therapist and they told me I could possibly have it. It's something that comes and goes. I can be like this for 4 or 5 months and I snap out of it for awhile. But I don't...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Sep 3, 2014

    I was 16, angry alone

    and suicidal. I went to my neighbors place to smoke some weed in his garage. the smoke session got cut short by me ending up phasing in and out of consciousness while standing. I don't know what death feels like but it certainly felt like i didnt exist one moment, and the next...
    Phrozzen Phrozzen
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Sep 2, 2015

    I've been this way for a

    while now, but only received a diagnosis a couple of weeks ago. It's as if you're a pair of eyes sat inside a body, watching yourself move and watching life go by. My senses are affected by it: while I can feel pain, it feels detached from me, if that makes sense. It acts up...
    reversi reversi
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Dec 27, 2014

    It all started with a panic attack a year ago.

    But I've started suffering from DP and DR for about 8 months now. Sometimes I look at my parents and don't even know who they are or I look at myself and don't even know who I am. Its gotten a lot better but sometimes I still can't shake the feeling of it all. Am I real? Is this...
    Helensworld Helensworld
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Sep 10, 2015

    Its been 5, almost 6 years.

    You learn to live with it. But it still sucks.
    faithinmyself faithinmyself
    18-21, F
    1 Response Sep 23, 2015

    Feeling Fleeting To my embarrassment,

    it was only recently that I discovered depersonalization-derealization is classified as its own disorder. I've spent many years falling into episodes of complete removal from my body and surroundings; I would wake up, look in the mirror, and fail entirely to make the connection...
    SourPennies SourPennies
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 3, 2016

    I've never been diagnosed officially,

    but my shrink acknowledges what I experience. I smoked weed for years and years, but never experienced it when I was sober or not smoking. The weed catalysed the latent schizo gene and my head and it took two episodes in the looney bin for me to finally convince myself to quit...
    Iscarpia87 Iscarpia87
    26-30, M
    1 Response Feb 20, 2016

    Welcome to My So Called Reality

    I suffer from depersonalization . I basicaly feel detached from the world, its kind of a dream like feeling that comes and goes, but seems to come more often rather than goes. Anyway if anyone knows what i mean let me know
    deftone deftone
    26-30, M
    39 Responses Nov 19, 2008

    * not sure if I do * Last summer my friend

    Danielle & I decided to go by our friend Jasie's house and hang out with her. When we got there Jasie asked us if we wanted to pitch in and get some weed. It was a while since Dani & I had smoked so we said sure. About an hour later we were chilling on the couch smoking...
    kaynic26 kaynic26
    18-21, F
    1 Response Sep 9, 2015

    I'm honestly so tired of feeling this way.

    When I try to explain to people how being depersonalized feels I often use the phrase " Almost like you're high but not" and I usually get a "Lucky" or an "Thats awesome" but it's really not. It sucks so badly. I don't like this and I would do almost anything to have this feel...
    faithinmyself faithinmyself
    18-21, F
    Sep 9, 2014

    I think it's gone... It's been 4 years.

    I got high on anti anxiety and anti depression medication and as I'm coming down I feel normal again...
    faithinmyself faithinmyself
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 8, 2015

    I'm 16 and I've been suffering from a severe

    depersonalization disorder for just over a year now. At first I pushed it away as being tired, but when it never got better, we went to the doctor (many doctors I might add) and I was diagnosed. It makes me feel like I'm going insane, and it actually got so bad that in January...
    xxChloeMxx xxChloeMxx
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Aug 12, 2014

    I hate it. I developed depersonalization

    disorder when I was 13 yrs old, I've always had bad anxiety and mild depression, then when I was 13 I developed this disorder. At first it was just a few episodes here and there, but then it progressed so I have it 24/7. I remember being so scared, I was worried I was going...
    Cheshiregrin116 Cheshiregrin116
    18-21, F
    Oct 15, 2015

    When you feel like nothing is real.

    When you have no sort of emotion at all... you can't feel happy or sad , mad , you feel like you are just there .. and you completely lost yourself . You dont know who you are.. or anyone else.. not your family your bf.. your Co workers.. you are stuck in time ... not knowing...
    adrihurs adrihurs
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 3, 2015
More Stories