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I Have Depersonalization Disorder

A Depersonalization Disorder anonymous support group with information on diagnosis, treatment, symptoms, along with personal stories and experiences with Depersonalization Disorder. You're not alone. 531 People

    I have had depersonalization disorder

    since I was a young child, around age 8 or 9. It would hit in phases but now that I am older, it is constant. I am also talking to a man who has depersonalization. I like him and he says he loves me, but it is so difficult to ever find a time we are both connected enough. How do...
    twotees twotees 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 11

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    Just discovered I have this

    when I went back into therapy. It's very hard to deal with the question of Who Am I? I feel like I'm going to hurt my loved ones because it's hard to care about anything anymore, especially when I don't feel real.
    bripolar bripolar 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 17

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    I've been battling this thing

    for two years now. I've come from medication, to meditation, to pointless therapy sessions with no results. I can't say it's been easy to cope with depersonalization. However, I can tell you that it's definitely possible to still enjoy life. Move on. Don't feel like you're...
    phoenixrisen25 phoenixrisen25 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 3

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    My Story....

    i had a really bad childhood. for me personally i find it hard to deal with and i am not peapred to write it down just yet out in the open. but i believe that my bad childhood, is the root of my problem. it started when i was 13. one night after watching a movie. i fetl suddenly...
    lmpulsive lmpulsive 18-21, M 18 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    Or at least I think I do,

    and I wouldn't be surprised if I did. I have been diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression a while ago, maybe 5 or 6 years ago. I always feel out of it and feel almost out of my body at times. I'll be walking in the hallways in school and feel disconnected, and often times I am...
    Vahzify Vahzify 13-15, M Feb 24

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    I haven't actually been diagnosed,

    so maybe it's premature. I've never found anything that I have identified with more in my life. My husband agreed fully, which is also a first for what is exactly going on with me. For long as I can remember, I have been this way. I feel like I am essentially in two parts...
    Eadie916 Eadie916 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 15

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    Nothing seems real anymore.

    I havent slept in 3 nights and before that i dont know how many. I just want to wake up. I know i feel like this and i know its wrong but what if its not wrong? What if i really am just dreaming? This all started i think a year and a half ago when i was kidnapped. I used to live...
    Insomniac77 Insomniac77 16-17, M 3 Responses May 22

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    Just A Tidbit For People Newly Going Through This Disorder....

    I, too, have depersonalization/derealization disorder. I used to have it constantly, then it became intermittent, and like you, I was terrified of what happened, when and if it would happen again, and I spent my days in fear, fear of the event itself, and fear of the return...
    Mytherapystsayz Mytherapystsayz 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 20, 2011

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    Read This.

    You've heard a lot about perception I'm guessing. But probably more along the lines of "oh that's what you think, that's your perception", as if it's solely about opinions. Turns out treating your problems as a label, calling it a disorder, or whatever that's victimizing you, is...
    eyeopening eyeopening 18-21, M 3 Responses Apr 27, 2013

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    I have recently developed depersonilization

    disorder, I don't know why it started but I've been feeling this way for a few months now and it is still pretty scary, I don't know how to deal with it yet but it was pretty relieving to know theres a name for it and that I'm not the only one who feels this way and was just...
    jamespr jamespr 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 21

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    To People Who Are Wondering.."am I Crazy?"

    I completely understand how you must be feeling right now.  I also wonder the same thing now and then.  In fact, I've been wondering it now more often than not.  But this is what we all need to know, and remember:  depersonalization, and derealization can be caused by a...
    TheLadyMissKatie TheLadyMissKatie 16-17 2 Responses Apr 17, 2012

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    I think I have PD but I'm not entirely sure.

    I tried to explain it to my family/friends but they don't seem to get it. I'm frustrated half the time and it seems to get worse with stress, lack of sleep and coffee. I feel like I'm so aware of my existence that I'm barely living. It sucks, and am really terrified I'm losing...
    hani91 hani91 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 29

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    Summer Of Dreams

    My experience with depersonalization, and derealization as well, began when I was six years old. At that time of course, and up until the past couple of years, I didn't know that's what I was experiencing. Any kind or symptom of dissosication disorders can be TERRIFYING, at any...
    twentyhundredheartbeats twentyhundredheartbeats 18-21 3 Responses Jun 22, 2011

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    Welcome to My So Called Reality

    I suffer from depersonalization . I basicaly feel detached from the world, its kind of a dream like feeling that comes and goes, but seems to come more often rather than goes. Anyway if anyone knows what i mean let me know
    deftone deftone 26-30, M 39 Responses Nov 19, 2008

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    My depersonalization disorder was revealed to

    me by a hefty dose of MDMA and magic mushrooms. I realized during the experience that as a child, I repressed my true self to fit in with the rest of society. I'm gay, and used to be very flamboyant. I was a victim of bullying and instead of fighting back, I let them all win...
    wewanderers wewanderers 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 13

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    I'm only 14 years old

    and it started about 4 months ago but it wasn't serious then it started to progress it's making me fail school not do any of my work and it ruined my trip to nc and my Christmas I only told one person and it was my mom about 2 days ago and she was worried every time I'm at the...
    jayyr jayyr 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 29

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    New Thoughts

    I dont expect anyone to believe in me or to even agree with me and i dont really care for that matter. maybe someone will read this and maybe it will help them in dealing with what i went through or maybe it'll make it that much worse for them, who knows..but i'll keep on writing...
    lmpulsive lmpulsive 18-21, M 33 Responses Feb 17, 2011

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    I am so confused about how to "be" in reality I

    don't know how to act or what to do. I can never be by myself and always have to be connected to something I know is in reality like another person or even just having the tv on and when I don't have that connection I have no idea how to just be and exist in reality by myself...
    psych22 psych22 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 5

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    These last two school years are the years I

    cannot ever forget. Why it happened to me of all people, i will never know, but what i do know is that it was a life changing experience and it strengthened me and changed me in every possible way. It was the summer of 2012, and i was under a lot of stress over multiple...
    yildiz96 yildiz96 16-17 1 Response Jun 19

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    About 6 months ago I went into hospital

    for a tumor removal on my ovary. I ended up in intensive care for 2 weeks and suffered with extreme depersonalisation. I felt like I was living in purgatory (as I imagine it to be). Since then, I constantly feel that life isn't real. My life is filled with too many weird...
    MrsSutherland MrsSutherland 36-40, F Feb 22

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    I'm FNing sick of this.

    My ears moving all over my head, my eyes...everything is distorted. Why? Ya know... This is absolutely ridiculous. I know it won't last now. I've learned to accept it, but it's very frustrating. The End
    Forget2Trust Forget2Trust 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 24

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    Time Flies...

    Every night around 12 I go outside to smoke. I look around me and I get a feel of what life should be. So calm and peaceful..but just as fast as my cigarette burns, so does life. An hour feels like seconds. A day, minutes. And I'm wondering if our disorder is just our bodies...
    speckle456 speckle456 16-17, F Aug 23, 2013

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    In A Daze..

    I'm in a daze, no idea what I'm looking at, just looking. Nothing makes much sense and the world around me is completely alien. I look at my hands and see they're not my hands. My face doesn't belong to me. I think it's familiar, but it's not mine. It's as if everything is...
    SarcasmIsAnArt SarcasmIsAnArt 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 4, 2012

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    Synesthesia. I think

    that 'depersonalization' and synesthesia are related. It occurred to me though that I never specifically inquired about other peoples experience on this particular board. Does anyone else have both? I have mild grapheme and mirror-touch (or, kind of like a combo of motion-touch...
    AerinK AerinK 36-40, F Apr 7

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    Does anyone know of a support group in

    chicagoland area for depersonalization disorder?
    shanmom shanmom 36-40, F Mar 5

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    I had another episode the other day.

    I had to go all day freaking out that people could tell I "wasn't there". It felt like I was in a movie. I could touch something but not feel it. My face was disappearing in the mirror. I was walking on air. I had so many panic attacks. It's gone now, but I hate when it comes...
    saviscool saviscool 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 23

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    Wow I haven't been on here in a long time.

    I wish I could say things have changed over time with my dp but it hasn't. This is my life now.
    speckle456 speckle456 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 27

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    Cured And A Better Person Now

    hey how are you doing you dont know me but i decided to come back and read about people going through depersonalization , why ? 1 year ago it happened to me and i felt the same way you are feeling right now i literary though i was dying and i felt i had no...
    reinaldocastellanos reinaldocastellanos 22-25, M 3 Responses Jan 11, 2013

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    The Pure Truth.

    I'm not letting anything behind this time. This is me. I have been feeling like this for about year and a half. It is part of what I think might be Depersonalization Disorder. And if it isn't, it's damn close. The thing is that I only feel half-aware of what I do, like I can...
    AZChomp644 AZChomp644 18-21, M 4 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    This Is The Stuff I Think About

    So this perceptual experience generally makes it easy for me to recognize that everything I see/hear/feel is actually just some passive part of my mind reacting to 'outside' things (not a solipsistic argument at all, rather that 'outside' is real, but can only be experienced and...
    AerinK AerinK 36-40, F Sep 19, 2013

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    It's to the point where I can put myself in

    this state. People say that most cases of depersonalization disorder are the result of traumatic events. I'm not sure I believe that it's most of the time. And I especially don't think anything so traumatic happened to me. When I'm in this state, I don't want to talk to anyone...
    VoiceofRain VoiceofRain 16-17, F May 27

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    A Living Hell: My Depersonalization Story

    I'm gonna tell you about this kid who's life had been traumatized by negative events, how his ego had been crushed, how his confidence had simply diminished into thin air, and how his strive for life itself completely stopped. Then I'm gonna tell you how he came out of all of...
    ThatOneGuy57 ThatOneGuy57 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 19, 2013

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    I knew something was up with me!

    I kept having a change in perception after exercising or times I was relaxed and it felt so good. It was like seeing for real the first time. I started practicing kundalini breathing to deal with all my anxiety and cleansed my body of all the stress and pressure. It was like...
    reenab29 reenab29 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    I Hope It Ends

     I feel like ive had it so long. it just makes life so numb and on hold. Everyday i wake up i feel like its the same dull thing everyday and that nothing is good enough to make me want live my day out. I havent noticed DP until things in school went down hill and i find my...
    Livefree93 Livefree93 18-21, M 11 Responses Jan 15, 2010

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    I used to love freedom.

    The exciting possibilities. Now I'm at a crossroads in my life and had so much motivation to change but wasted it because I don't know what I want? How can you be motivated when you don't know what you like. You don't feel anything. Months go by like days. Those occasional...
    buddhajay buddhajay 18-21, M 1 Response May 19

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    My Story

    I was recently diagnosed with DPD. I feel like my life is a movie and constantly stare into space and feel detached from my surroundings. I thought joining this forum would help me so I can hear from other people with DPD and their stories and advice.
    Serenitysmiles Serenitysmiles 16-17 1 Response Dec 6, 2008

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    I have had this disorder

    for a little over 11 months now. It's taken over me, taken who I used to be, the happy young girl. Sociable, empathetic and caring, all gone. What is left is this empty shell working on its own accord, everything on autopilot. And then I look at my hands. These strangers hands...
    Stemperence Stemperence 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 28, 2013

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    I have had this come

    and go through life, I remember being about 8/9 years of age. I was standing in a shop and I was looking at of the door window and suddenly it was like I was detached from the world like I wasn't really there in a sense. As I got older It happened a lot and when I had my first...
    Gentleandlovingsoul Gentleandlovingsoul 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 1

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    So I'm currently battling with this disorder

    and I noticed that nowadays it's getting better. I'm socializing with people and it makes the world more "real" for me. It's like I'm getting back to normal. I read about people that they still have depersonalization even after 7 years and this worries me. Mine started on August...
    KarnevalNiji KarnevalNiji 18-21, F May 13

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    Just had my biggest fear come true I completely

    lost control of myself and went crazy.. All I remember is I was laying on the bathroom floor cause I was feeling a bit nauseous then I got really anxious and starting having an episode then all of a sudden I'm in my room balling my eyes out on my bed and my dad is screaming at...
    Mayleehawkeye Mayleehawkeye 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 7

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    Recoverd Depersonalization

    I just want to let everyone know there is hope to get over dp and dr. i had it for over two years and the recovery process took like 6 mos or so. i will be blogging about before recovery, what i went through during recovery, and now :)
    kendra198907 kendra198907 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 24, 2012

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    Anyone Who Has Dp...please Read!!!

    I developed my anxiety/panic/ DP/DR after smoking a joint when I was 13...It was like the movie "NUMB" (which if you guys haven't seen you should) It is all about this...It stars...OMG..ummm Chandler from friends and it is about a guy who smokes too much pot one night and then...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 30, 2011

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    Living In A Dream About Life

    Last October, I started feeling a little funny, things would seem kind of pointless, I would start to feel disconnected from everyone. I thought it was my iron levels (I have been anemic in the past) so I started taking iron medication again. After starting to question my own...
    emmaxavier emmaxavier 16-17 2 Responses Apr 13, 2011

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    I suffer from depersonalization disorder

    and I also love psychology. I found this amazing book researching about DPD and just wanted to share it for anyone out there looking for more info about it or trying to understand it better. The guy who wrote it actually has DPD himself and it's a wonderful book not only for...
    psych22 psych22 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 6

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    What Was Never Normal Will Always Be The Norm... I Hope Not

    Hello, my name is Michael, I'm 22 years old, and I think I have depersonalization disorder. I, like many others with the illness, have had a horrible childhood- molested, neglected, beaten, and severely emotionally abused, all day long, for 13 years. Growing up, I didn't have...
    pointofthought pointofthought 22-25 4 Responses Jul 25, 2010

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    I Used To Have No Identity Until...

    I invited the PERSON of Jesus Resurrected to Come and Live inside of me and take over this body... And He Did! A Marriage occured! Two becoming One. He is now the Head of this body. I felt dead before, and now I am Alive Forever! It is what I was designed for from the beginning...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Feb 13, 2013

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    I've had this for a long time,

    but up until this year I never knew what it was, or whether or not other people experienced it. I remember being quite young, probably 7, when I first got it. I can make it come on command, but it doesn't go away for a while. Usually it only lasts a few minutes, but it comes and...
    LeavesOfSunshine LeavesOfSunshine 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 30

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    Living the Dream, Literally.

    All of the stories posted before me are basically the same, and I don't blame anyone who has written before me, because i feel exactly the same way.  I just want to ask a question and would really appreciate if someone could reply to it: are there groups for...
    HisNameisFrank HisNameisFrank 18-21, M 13 Responses Feb 14, 2009

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    ibd always had this. I've always felt detached

    from everything and everyone since I was a little girl. always been different. it's been a sad and scary joinery
    motherearth227 motherearth227 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 2

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    I feel detached from my self.

    like I watch myself do things like an outside observer and it borders me.
    havilah havilah 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 19

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    I have depersonalization disorder we believe to

    be the result of complex post traumatic stress disorder. I have a very rare and life threatening disease and my near death experiences and lack of appriopriate care at times have lead me to disassociate. When things get particularly stressful, I disengage and start convincing...
    saltloveandlight saltloveandlight 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 19

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    I feel so confused most days,

    I just don't feel like im really here, I feel like Im in a movie watching myself or something. I don't know it's weird, I feel disconnected from my body. it's like my mind and my body are separate. when I look in a mirror I don't recognise myself. like I know it's me but it...
    silentgirl1234 silentgirl1234 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 3

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    Related Experiences

    I have bipolar disorder 1 & adult ADHD combined type. I'm 27, married 7 year son& 6 year stepdaughter. My life seems normal.... On the outside. On the inside it's turmoil...
    mrojas27 mrojas27 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 28

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