I Have Depression, Anxiety, and Self-mutilation Issues

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,917 People

    I used to look at my double edged razor

    and see my best friend. I still would, I suppose, if I wasn't on a blood thinner for my heart. I have a wonderful supportive family and the greatest boyfriend but somehow, at night I still feel so alone. I'm afraid I'm pushing those closest to me away, I cry all the time and...
    BionicCarole1985 BionicCarole1985
    31-35, F
    May 24, 2015
    sunuii sunuii
    18-21, F
    Jul 20, 2015

    I self harm my mom saw the cuts on my wrist

    and she cussed me out and said if I ever cut again she'll beat me so I cut where she wouldn't be able to see it. I have depression and anxiety and I'm just a total ******* mess I can't help it she said she don't get me she thinks I'm crazy but I'm not I'm just a ****** up mess...
    marie2020 marie2020
    16-17, F
    Aug 13, 2015

    The End Too Near

    A mask of a smile. The stories they tell. Laughter unreal. Lies of hope. Dreams of a child, sunken away Gasping for air. Screams of help. Silenced cries. Feeling as though, there is nothing more. But life goes on, Is what they say. Yet the past is forever, the future too near...
    GraceyD GraceyD
    22-25, F
    Jul 30, 2013

    night is the worst part of the day the feelings

    I'm trying to hide come out and I cry I cry till I'm weak and there's tears on my bed the pain I hide comes out at night and it scares me the pain I want to get rid of and hide
    neonpinkcupcakelover neonpinkcupcakelover
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 12, 2015

    People don't understand

    that I can't just "be happy". I can't just "stop worrying". I trust very few people and hate life, even though I'm afraid of death and no one really enjoys talking to me...
    blacksnowflakeromance blacksnowflakeromance
    13-15, F
    1 Response Dec 5, 2015

    i dont have any ****** emotions i have no

    friends i have nothing to do any day because i have no one this is my life same thing day after day just drowning in my own depression and tears does anything really matter anymore my life is a rerun never stopping this emotional pain and suffering how long do i have to be...
    neonpinkcupcakelover neonpinkcupcakelover
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jul 3, 2015

    I Thought I Had Beaten All Of This

    All of this started when I was 13 and I kept it hidden that I was depressed and self harming. I was later diagnosed with high anxiety as well and after moving to a different school (a much better school in my opinion) I thought it was all over. I stopped cutting for two years...
    The2ndLaw The2ndLaw
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 30, 2012

    Living For Today Is So Hard..

    i see people smile and laugh, they burst out with so much joy and excitement, but are they really happy? is anyone ever truly happy? what is happiness? well, i know it to be when im all alone and its silent. happiness! being alone. depression? yes. sighh.. i wish i cud be likie...
    kevinalex kevinalex
    18-21, M
    7 Responses Apr 23, 2011

    Ive loat the plot i carnr tell my reality from

    non ffs kill me please or luck after me please xx
    Lasbutterfly Lasbutterfly
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Aug 21, 2015

    This Story Is Why I Have Depression, Anxiety, And Self-abuse Issues

    When I was in elementary school i remember I had some friends but I never felt like i was close to them, i never felt like they accepted me, or wanted to be my friend. On the first day of sixth grade in middle school, i felt some hope that my social life would improve; my mom let...
    JessicaC777 JessicaC777
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Apr 27, 2012

    I'm already broken and

    now I feel as though I'm crumbling. I want to disappear until the hurting is gone.
    curioustiff curioustiff
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Feb 17, 2015

    apparently I have fat elbows now,

    too. the coworker I've been having my fun with just told me that I have fat on my elbows. go figure someone would point that out someday. I wish I could cut it off, so I'm going to go in the bathroom and do the next best thing: cut my stomach. I love that I now bring a razor to...
    drummergrl06 drummergrl06
    26-30, F
    Feb 24, 2016
    violetangel violetangel
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jun 10, 2014

    Cut my wrists and hope to die Pain fills me

    as I cry Swallow pills Until the end
    Kindheartedsoul Kindheartedsoul
    18-21, F
    Aug 23, 2015

    I hate when people as me

    if I'm "still depressed" like they think depression just leaves.
    Lexikay99 Lexikay99
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Aug 5, 2014

    I hate anxiety so much it stops me from

    everything, meeting new people, talking in class, going to family outings, even coming out to my parents UGH IT SUCKS
    tonythetaurus tonythetaurus
    22-25, M
    1 Response Sep 6, 2015
    Chesher Chesher
    18-21, M
    Jun 8, 2015

    I'm really struggling today.

    .... The continual pen clicking, tapping the desk, eating with mouths open, talking with food in the mouth, whining about work and life. It's just too much!! It's so loud. I can't think. I'm shaking and I feel like I'm about to explode. I want to cut to make it go away...
    rural84 rural84
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Jun 29, 2014

    I just got into a fight with a friend

    and he stopped talking to me and I was really sad. And I used to do this thing where I would shove sharp objects between my gums whenever I got sad.. Because it felt good and also painful. I did it again so they're bleeding bad but ugh am I weird does anyone else do this?
    TheBellaBubbles TheBellaBubbles
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Aug 16, 2015

    A Work In Progress

    As a kid, I was the one who used to stick his fingers into electrical appliances to get electrical shocks. I would crash my bicycle on purpose. I pulled out my own stitches the day after my appendix surgery. At school, I would staple my skin. I would dip fingers into boiling...
    CoopSmith CoopSmith
    31-35, M
    1 Response Apr 22, 2013

    Losing someone you love to the inner thoughts

    of there own mind. You know when you love a person so much and they think about the problems and not the relationship,they always say that it's better to wait. But if u know why it happened you can try again and this time u know what not to do.
    sasukeguns sasukeguns
    18-21, F
    Jul 23, 2015

    Nobody knows about it either.

    My friends, my family...or probably they do know but just shrugs it off and don't give a s-hit.
    TheSwitchIsNowOFF TheSwitchIsNowOFF
    16-17, F
    1 Response Dec 23, 2015

    I'll be the one to put the bullet in your brain.

    I'll be the one to cause your fate, and in the end I'll be the to blame but when it's done I'll be your worst mistake.
    scars13 scars13
    18-21, F
    Jan 26, 2016

    i am only two days clean

    and i've been trying so hard to overcome this but i can't. it's so difficult and i'm so weak..
    holygoth holygoth
    18-21, F
    Sep 20, 2015

    I hide my depression from everyone.

    I'm sick of faking a smile. But I don't like to cry in front of people. A week ago, I was told that I'm bipolar and could be a threat to anyone around me since I have really bad anger issues. It feels like everyone looks at me as if I'm a creep. I cant look in the mirror...
    zbubbly603 zbubbly603
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Mar 2, 2014
    Hesmyvampireking Hesmyvampireking
    13-15, F
    5 Responses Jul 24, 2015

    I wanna let go now...

    I'm so sick of everything and I'm ready to give up and die. I just can't take it anymore.
    SarahLynn712 SarahLynn712
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 10, 2015

    Ghosts and demons live inside us

    and sometimes they win. 😞 #depression#suicidal#self#harm
    depressedgirl2244 depressedgirl2244
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Jun 6, 2014

    Depression is a thief

    and a liar. It steals your friends and convinces you that you're not worth love. It steals your motivation and your dreams, it tells you that you're not worth happiness. It steals your family, your life, you and tells you no one understands and that you are alone. Everything...
    rchkb rchkb
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Oct 31, 2015
    Harley4260 Harley4260
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 24, 2014

    I Don't Really Have A Title. :)

    I've always been kind of a loner. I never really had any friends, because I used to be extremely shy and I panicked whenever someone spoke to me. I still kind of have those issues.. Any who, I've always been anti-social and thought of as different. Grades third through eighth, I...
    Jofrow Jofrow
    18-21, M
    1 Response Oct 7, 2013

    It's been several months

    since the last time I cut. But recently my depression has been getting worse and I don't know what to do. For the past week my urges to cut again have gotten stronger and it's on my mind constantly like it used to be. I don't know what to do anymore...
    MrMobos MrMobos
    18-21, M
    2 Responses May 26, 2015
    shauna571 shauna571
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Jun 12, 2015

    I have been binge eating all afternoon

    because my mom would rather work than be with me.
    deathbysadness deathbysadness
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jul 24, 2015

    I don't want to move back in with my family.

    But I have to because "I'm a danger to myself and others." The thought is unbearable.
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Mar 4, 2015

    Ill Beat It

    I have always been that kind of person who is always happy, had a lot of friends, and didnt care about a thing in the world. Last august i started to notice a change in that though. i had lost a lot of my friends, i had felt alone very often, and i was never happy. nor did i have...
    AllieAnn12 AllieAnn12
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Nov 15, 2012

    Have you ever felt abandoned by your own family?

    Left out? Like its not even worth it? I feel like that every single day mostly. I can be happy but it doesn't last long. I'll try to drown in happiness but sadness sinks into me somehow. I'm not blaming anyone.. But i used to. I remember about a year ago, my cousins family moved...
    AngelOfDarknessAndLight AngelOfDarknessAndLight
    13-15, F
    1 Response Aug 6, 2015

    I'm getting better :) I used to cut pretty often

    and I had it mostly stopped. I say mostly because whenever life got tough I started it again. Which just made me even more upset that I was doing it again after saying I wouldnt. But a year ago I met some really beautiful people that have made me feel so much better. I'm still...
    ShivaCrazy ShivaCrazy
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Oct 13, 2015

    I Hate You More Than I Hate Myself

    this poem was inspired by the immediate reaction i have in my brain whenever i look at a razorblade..its a deep, haunting ache.. i see you i ignore you but its too late   hold my breath hold very still pretend i havent gone rigid   fear in my...
    foamborn foamborn
    18-21, F
    10 Responses Mar 12, 2010

    Depression is when you lay in bed

    and don't want to get up because you're afraid you'll shatter if you stand. Depression is when you lay on the floor, when you're suppose to do chores or be at the store, but you can't move, because your body doesn't believe it can. Sometimes I lay in bed and I don't even have...
    Killamonte Killamonte
    16-17, F
    Feb 24, 2016

    Hush little baby Don't you cry Don't cut your

    arm Don't say goodbye Put down the razor Put down the knife It may be hard But you'll win this fight <3
    Chesher Chesher
    18-21, M
    Feb 23, 2015

    Tired of being alive.

    .. I wanna give up so bad...
    Depressedgirlxxx Depressedgirlxxx
    18-21, F
    Aug 12, 2015

    I'm so severely depressed.

    I don't want to live anymore. No one will ever see me as I see myself - a man... so what's the point? My dysphoria is constantly tearing me apart.. I just got done crying my eyes out because someone told me I'm nothing but an attention seeking confused girl/boy and that I'm not...
    virtualricki virtualricki
    18-21, T
    1 Response Mar 15, 2015

    The pills help the anxiety,

    but the depression stays. i need something new and exiting.
    suddensouthmess suddensouthmess
    22-25, M
    2 Responses May 3, 2015

    So um hi. I'm kinda new to this.

    .. I've never heard about it before but uh I guess I'm going to use this account for venting. So I've been battling depression since 7th grade and a few weeks ago they took me off my medication because my dad read something about it and said he didn't want me taking it. So I...
    ana10120 ana10120
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jul 6, 2015

    Just when you think you're coming close to

    saying 'i'm okay', something always pulls you back down. Then it makes you query whether you were actually going to be 'okay' or whether it was your mind playing tricks on you because it knows that all you want is to be 'okay'. What is 'okay'? Does anyone really know what it's...
    JJSapphire JJSapphire
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 4, 2014

    Idk how to even start this this is my first

    post on here and I'm basically writing because I have nobody to talk to. All these ppl who claim they love me always want me to be there but can't lend a ear for five minutes to hear my problems...where do I start...I'm going through a divorce from an abusive husband. I have...
    Mjkittycass1985 Mjkittycass1985
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Aug 4, 2014

    And ,just because of all of that,

    don't expect me to be a cold hearted, dark, unloving, soulless person.
    sighselly sighselly
    13-15, F
    Oct 23, 2014

    I go through enough of this stuff to understand

    that everyone needs someone to talk to you. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.
    elinorm elinorm
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 11, 2014

    For any one of you is having a moment

    where you just cannot handle it anymore, play the song "Nocturne 20 in C-Sharp Minor" on repeat. It is extremely relaxing and is helping me get through so many serious issues. I love you all. Stay safe.
    Gordonzobeanz Gordonzobeanz
    18-21, M
    Oct 12, 2014
    Kindheartedsoul Kindheartedsoul
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Aug 14, 2015

    being let down makes me sad

    which in turn makes me want to cut/burn I don't want to fight it anymore I want my sweet release
    curioustiff curioustiff
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Mar 4, 2015

    I don't know how to handle my anxiety

    and depression anymore. I feel so lost and different. I have so much going on in my mind lately I just don't know what to do. I just want all these bad feelings to disappear. My mind just goes on and on and on. Non stop. I have nights, many nights where I cant sleep because im...
    ashmuisc ashmuisc
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 24, 2015

    Every day is war to me,

    A struggle to obtain reality. A shower, my breakfast, putting on my shoes. It's hard to see the point some days, And no one has a clue. I have been deemed so many things, by those who wouldn't know. High maintenance, a worrier, A girl putting on a show. I've been trained...
    HypnoticAqua HypnoticAqua
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Jun 25, 2015
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