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I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 694 People

    Not Doing Well...8/6/13

    The part of me/us that thinks "She just needs to not exist," is active again. It's scary. This part wants me dead, because I'm the problem. I'm also fighting not to self-injure. This is all a very familiarly unpleasant place, but I thought we were doing better, here.
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 12 Responses Aug 6, 2013

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    I really hate it! I have borderline

    and DID and my boyfriend dumped me because of it. OF COURSE I know it's hard sometimes but I've been in therapy and everything and it's very difficult for me to trust people but I just don't know why it is so hard to accept me the way I am.
    Lerione Lerione 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Dating Someone With Dissociative Identity Disorder

      I am currently seeing someone with DID.The man I am seeing is wonderful!Lets call him Gavin.Gavin is happy-go-lucky, easy to talk to, understanding, optimistic, and so many more things…We have an amazing bond, unlike any I have ever shared with another human being...
    Neenie907 Neenie907 22-25, F 11 Responses Nov 4, 2009

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    Hm, May As Well Make A Post.

    Well, I figured I'd post something to get to know other people who live under similar-ish circumstances, and possibly make friends with them (well, I suppose that's a no brainer). I guess I'll tell you guys about, uh, my body's life? (I think that's the most appropriate way of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Mar 9, 2013

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    Afraid Of Losing Someone...

    This has always been a fear of mine and my alters. I lost my parents at a young age. My father died in a fire and my mother died of a brain hemmorage. My grandpa passed away at a young age and my grandma just died recently. I am always afraid of someone I love dying, especially...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 21, 2012

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    Has anyone had any parts integrate before?

    I've had a few minor parts merge with me or another part. Now 4 of my main parts are ready to integrate. It's wonderful but also very scary. I don't know if I am strong enough to go through with it.
    dreshany dreshany 41-45, F 4 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    anyone have experience,

    maybe through therapy, working with alters that come from your ID EGO??
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F 2 days ago

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    How to communicate with my alters?

    Anyone willing to share a technique to communicate with our own alters?
    Shabee74 Shabee74 41-45, F 4 Responses Feb 1

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    Healthy Multiplicity

    I have a case of what I like to call extremely mild DID. Others call it "Healthy Multiplicity". Basically, it's a form of DID that isn't considered to be a disorder, but just a condition. It doesn't cause any problems for me, and I am actually really glad I have it. I just wish I...
    saltyshelley saltyshelley 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    My old therapist moved out of state.

    She really understood me and my alters and had spoken to most of them at least once. My new therapist? hes a skeptic. Joy. He insists that I'm delusional and a malingerer (someone who makes things up to get medical attention) now i really have nobody to talk to about it on a...
    dianadra dianadra 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 25, 2014

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    My Inners/Alters Whatever...

    I am currently up to 6. My therapist says I am not DID, this p1ssed the kids off, so they made me forget appointments for a month. ...They basically thought she was saying they aren't real... ...I LIKE my "kids", whatever they are. They helped me survive.  They STILL help me...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 5 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Feb 4

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    My Headmates

    I have DID. I have had this ever since I was eleven, and I don't know how to really explain them all, so I'll make a list (much like my alter egos. The sad thing about my alter egos is that they receded into their world [Yes, I have a world in my head. It's much like Wonderland...
    ManicAttack ManicAttack 18-21, F 7 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    We're Doing WHAT????

    Katherine, who appears to be my internal self helper? She wants us to integrate. She doesn't care how much chaos this causes, because she wants us to "shine."I asked her how long this will take, she said two years...... 8[ ...That's fast. Really fast.Basically...to de...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 9 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    I don't even know where to begin.

    It sounds like me but I don't want to believe it. I know what I'm being told by my partner and my therapist. It makes sense with my past and I know I lose time. I just don't know what to think or do with all of this. I'm tired of the confusion and the noise in my head. I...
    NDS1979 NDS1979 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 5

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    I have a whole playlist of songs

    that make me feel understood, these are the ones that focus on my DID... "Animal I have Become" Three Days Grace "Monster" Skillet "I am an Illusion" Rob Thomas "All These Years" Adema "Let Me Be Myself" 3 Doors Down "One X" Three Days Grace "Chameleon Boy" Blue October "Ugly...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 Aug 1, 2014

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    I have just been recently diagnosed,

    and this is really kind of scary. I always knew that I had missed time, but I just assumed that I had really bad memory. I am just wondering if any of you are moms and how you deal.
    mybeautifulwisdom mybeautifulwisdom 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 16

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    From what I can tell this disorder,

    disease, adventure, experience (whatever you want to call it) is highly personalized. Everyone who is diagnosed has a very different experience. I think that really contributes to the confusion that most of the people with DID already live with. I'm just coming to realize that...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F Feb 8, 2014

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    The Alter that found this website,

    created this profile hadn't been around in a while, it's been about a month and They feel like They did when they joined, alone. In a few days there will be an abortion, everyone in us will be having an abortion, Nicki will be having an abortion, as will Phoenix. Phoenix is very...
    Anubis111 Anubis111 22-25, T 19 hrs ago

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    Sometimes I Feel Possessed

    There are many times the people in my head are talking to me and in the middle of their sentence their words would continue out my mouth without me knowing what they were going to say. I know this sounds completely weird. I have lost all my outside friends because of this problem...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    I've had DID all my life,

    but disscovvered this last year through therapy. I have at least 8 alters but only know 6 of their names. I fully understand now why my life has Never normal. I am very glad to finally know and accept them. I do however need much support. Because I could not continue therapy...
    JanaMG JanaMG 61-65, F 4 Responses Jan 30, 2014

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    I mean, I guuuuuuuuuuuess I'll be host

    for a little while~ I won't like it though.
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 2 days ago

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    Our system is going down.

    Queen needs more recruits to hopefully keep her line down. It's ******* hell here now. So many panic attacks and death in our realm that it's making her into someone I don't recognize. We've even developed a painful stress node which hurts like hell when I touch it. ~Stone
    DarkHappiness DarkHappiness 13-15, F Feb 9

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    celes is usually fronting

    while i'm just co-fronting but it's switched! it's a little too real for me
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 3 Responses Jan 4

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    Ok, so I haven't been officially diagnosed with

    DID but this is the most active place for dissociative issues and I need some input. Hope I don't offend anyone. Thanks. Here goes: I've been drinking A LOT lately. Smoked weed, a lot of it. It was really good, but I did feel guilty at the same time only because I'm a nurse...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 12, 2014

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    Being DID and BiPolar feels like this to me.

    ..(I'm probably going to switch half-way through writing this, so bear with me) I live in this physical world that's just so-so and nothing fantastic ever happens, nothing exciting, everything just feels flat. I have my manic days or weeks where I feel ok and then ultra...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 1 Response Oct 2, 2014

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    I think I may have a new alter I've had four

    alters for a while but today I had slightly dual consciousness for a bit and was someone new. Different voice, different drives, different attitude. Does this mean I'm getting worse or better?
    Thingsunseen Thingsunseen 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 4

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    In my system I find that my alters are

    varyingly different. But they pair up in a ways... like harry and Arthur pair up because they both express levels of control over people and are masters of using words to effect people, however they are different because Arthur does it for good and harry for bad... John and Hyde...
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 3

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    I'm back! For awhile at least.

    It's been awhile since I last updated or posted anything. So far if some of you remember my problem about this girl I met during childhood and how I wanted to ask her out but also tell her about alters and asked for your advice, we're dating and she's so accepting and caring for...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 1 Response Jan 21

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    New... I Am A Hotel-Head who just spent 2 hours retype what we accidentially deleted the first time!! LOL

    Hello to the Group! I'm "M", and I am a "Hotel-Head". This is a term the kids came up with to describe the number of people in here and the chaos that follows them. Some of ours "check out" (deal with the "real" world), while some seem to have "do not disturb" signs wielded to...
    MoriBlue MoriBlue 46-50 3 Responses May 30, 2013

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    Does anyone else live in,

    or has ever lived in an environment that doesn't support their illness? I'm trying my best to keep everything under control around my family but it's not working. I just keep getting more depressed and less functional. I don't know how to communicate with them in an effective...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    dont know where the host has gone,

    its like our system is collapsing on itself now and all i can hear is mika saying stuff like, "i told you so! i told you so!" euggh i dont even know what to do anymore cause this wasnt even my fault to begin with
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Feb 18

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    Did-nos-wtf

    Apparently I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified....The kids in my head are all like "We TOLD you so!" Well, they were right. ...I was reminded we may not have found everyone yet... That's a little ominous. Maybe that's where the intrusive thoughts come...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 2 Responses Jun 24, 2013

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    We are a family here.

    And we keep the host protected and alive. The littles help a lot too. And the guys protect fiercely. It's great actually. :)
    krystalkool84 krystalkool84 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    Weekend weekend I love the weekend!

    I get to have so much fun! Do you like the weekend? Of course you do it's the weekend ^_^ ~Theta
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M Jan 24

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    Don't Even Know Who I Am

    That is right, I don't even know who I am. Am I the host of this body or not? What is going on inside makes no sense to me. Our supposed host doesn't even know who she is so how are we supposed to know who we are or why? Nothing makes much sense no more. Confused and alone
    Rachel4now Rachel4now 31-35, F 21 Responses Feb 16, 2008

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    Does anyone know of an inpatient treatment

    center for Dissociative Identity by any chance??
    puffingdandelions puffingdandelions 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    well once again things have gone a bit overly

    complicated for me. I went to the hospital on the 24th of December got stitches in my arm the cut was really deep again. didn't get out till the 25th I walked home in the dark alone and then got back to the house. I'm in a new house again by the way. I don't know why I can't...
    tallestshadow tallestshadow 22-25, T 2 Responses Jan 12, 2014

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    My Experience of a D.i.d (multilpe) Life

       I'm a 40 year old woman (but really I feel like a lot of much younger on inside) . Ive been aware of my system for 12 years .. I am poly multiple which means I keep splitting.  I have family groups within me but countless alters .I have Some (12 )well...
    thruthelookinglass thruthelookinglass 36-40, F 4 Responses May 17, 2009

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    woke up today and noticed someone did something

    to the body..i cant even recognize it
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 2 Responses Feb 21

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    They Aren't The Problem, I Am

    I always envied how when something bad happens my fiancé asks to speak to my alters. It was never me. I could work things out if given the time. I just want to be given the chance to help. :( Sometimes I feel that no one wants me, like if I disappeared it'd be fine. They wouldn...
    Lexy5 Lexy5 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 19, 2012

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    Two Peas In A Pod

    For a long time in my life, I knew I shared my mind with someone else. It wasn't until my late teens that I was determined to actually be co-conscious. My experience with this 'disorder' has been so incredibly positive, I've gained a friend and a new outlook on life. In my mind...
    TheDreamQueen TheDreamQueen 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 24, 2013

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    who am I ?? am I number three.

    .. why is everything so empty
    toasty420 toasty420 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 13

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    Jaqueline's Story

     My name is Jaqueline. I am around 16 years old and havebeen for a very long time.  I am one of the vast manyin the system that goes here by Truth_Speaks.Recently, in emails, a very good friend of ours here onEP has been talking about feeling like things were herfault...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 7 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    About Me: Medi

    This is the first in a series of writings everybody in this body will participate in (assuming they go on EP at all). Its intent is to allow the reader to get to know each person in this body better, with information about the writer coming directly from the writer, thus avoiding...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 26, 2013

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    Good things usually and up being bad.

    Now that EVERYONE knows about my alters, my girlfriend and my best friends are being treated like **** and calling them names. My girlfriend broke down and had a panic attack because of some other girls and their guy friends were picking on her for dating me. Of course I saw...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 2 Responses Jan 23

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    ill miss you but changes happen

    for a reason ill just have to hope its for the better(why is a system shift so upsetting?)
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Feb 7