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I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 693 People

    Being DID and BiPolar feels like this to me.

    ..(I'm probably going to switch half-way through writing this, so bear with me) I live in this physical world that's just so-so and nothing fantastic ever happens, nothing exciting, everything just feels flat. I have my manic days or weeks where I feel ok and then ultra...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 1 Response Oct 2, 2014

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    So Ash has gone back to the inside world he

    been "host" for like 3 weeks now all of us have been just staying in the inside world often but we realize he need a break so he just staying inside for now on so Ice will be playing host, an Ash will be coming out every so often to do something or if u ask for him. James~
    SweetAngelFrostPup SweetAngelFrostPup 16-17, M 6 days ago

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    I an almost done watching a kdrama based upon

    our disorder and I am crying because even though it's a show it brings things back. I have started to remember my past memories and they scare me quite a lot. I've gotten so attached to it so if you want to watch it too it's called kill me heal me
    DarkHappiness DarkHappiness 13-15, F Mar 17

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    Has anyone had any parts integrate before?

    I've had a few minor parts merge with me or another part. Now 4 of my main parts are ready to integrate. It's wonderful but also very scary. I don't know if I am strong enough to go through with it.
    dreshany dreshany 41-45, F 4 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    I hate how blown up DID is in the media.

    I have it, it is no walk in the park... It's not easy... And no one should EVER wish to have it... But I am far from crazy. I just can't deal with things.
    iMinnow iMinnow 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2014

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    The room isn't right,

    I don't remember being here, or falling asleep. My other half keeps talking me through it to calm me down. His voice in my head isn't doing me any justice. I know this is my house but it doesn't look right, it's all off. We're both lost, and I'm flipping through my journal...
    Edg3Runn3r Edg3Runn3r 26-30, M 4 Responses Feb 16

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    Hi, I'm new on here. Things have been

    overwhelming, real overwhelming. I told someone close to me I have DID and everything is chaotic. I question my diagnosis when certain ppl in my life only know one part of me, how is that possible? I have a lot of parts, but each one can be out for certain things so it's...
    roaminglostsoul roaminglostsoul 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 23

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    About Me: Medi

    This is the first in a series of writings everybody in this body will participate in (assuming they go on EP at all). Its intent is to allow the reader to get to know each person in this body better, with information about the writer coming directly from the writer, thus avoiding...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 26, 2013

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    My Experience of a D.i.d (multilpe) Life

       I'm a 40 year old woman (but really I feel like a lot of much younger on inside) . Ive been aware of my system for 12 years .. I am poly multiple which means I keep splitting.  I have family groups within me but countless alters .I have Some (12 )well...
    thruthelookinglass thruthelookinglass 36-40, F 4 Responses May 17, 2009

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    does anyone else with DID constantly find

    themselves talking out loud all day? I'm either having a one sided conversation out loud talking to the alters that are inside of me or the worst is when two or more are out and you can hear yourself carrying on conversations between your alters all day but totally out loud! its...
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 12

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    DarkHappiness DarkHappiness 13-15, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Dating Someone With Dissociative Identity Disorder

      I am currently seeing someone with DID.The man I am seeing is wonderful!Lets call him Gavin.Gavin is happy-go-lucky, easy to talk to, understanding, optimistic, and so many more things…We have an amazing bond, unlike any I have ever shared with another human being...
    Neenie907 Neenie907 22-25, F 11 Responses Nov 4, 2009

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    How to communicate with my alters?

    Anyone willing to share a technique to communicate with our own alters?
    Shabee74 Shabee74 41-45, F 4 Responses Feb 1

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    Yes I do and I'm not ashamed of it!

    When I'm emotional or tired or just insecure I can switch without me wanting it. I have 4 known alters and a few I don't know yet. The 4 who show themselves the most are the ones I like the less (does that make sense?) Some are really draining, when they are in the back again I...
    Celasta Celasta 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 6

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    does anyone have tips

    for creating a healthy daily routine??
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 14

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    Healthy Multiplicity

    I have a case of what I like to call extremely mild DID. Others call it "Healthy Multiplicity". Basically, it's a form of DID that isn't considered to be a disorder, but just a condition. It doesn't cause any problems for me, and I am actually really glad I have it. I just wish I...
    saltyshelley saltyshelley 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    Did-nos-wtf

    Apparently I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified....The kids in my head are all like "We TOLD you so!" Well, they were right. ...I was reminded we may not have found everyone yet... That's a little ominous. Maybe that's where the intrusive thoughts come...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 2 Responses Jun 24, 2013

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    Ok, so I haven't been officially diagnosed with

    DID but this is the most active place for dissociative issues and I need some input. Hope I don't offend anyone. Thanks. Here goes: I've been drinking A LOT lately. Smoked weed, a lot of it. It was really good, but I did feel guilty at the same time only because I'm a nurse...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 12, 2014

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    DID

    For years speaking about my disorder has been taboo but know its time to make a stand. I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) i have a system of 7 functioning personalities with their own thought process likes dislikes etc. Together we map out on how to get through one day...
    Pablo89 Pablo89 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    Jaqueline's Story

     My name is Jaqueline. I am around 16 years old and havebeen for a very long time.  I am one of the vast manyin the system that goes here by Truth_Speaks.Recently, in emails, a very good friend of ours here onEP has been talking about feeling like things were herfault...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 7 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    dont know where the host has gone,

    its like our system is collapsing on itself now and all i can hear is mika saying stuff like, "i told you so! i told you so!" euggh i dont even know what to do anymore cause this wasnt even my fault to begin with
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Feb 18

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    New... I Am A Hotel-Head who just spent 2 hours retype what we accidentially deleted the first time!! LOL

    Hello to the Group! I'm "M", and I am a "Hotel-Head". This is a term the kids came up with to describe the number of people in here and the chaos that follows them. Some of ours "check out" (deal with the "real" world), while some seem to have "do not disturb" signs wielded to...
    MoriBlue MoriBlue 46-50 3 Responses May 30, 2013

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    well once again things have gone a bit overly

    complicated for me. I went to the hospital on the 24th of December got stitches in my arm the cut was really deep again. didn't get out till the 25th I walked home in the dark alone and then got back to the house. I'm in a new house again by the way. I don't know why I can't...
    tallestshadow tallestshadow 22-25, T 2 Responses Jan 12, 2014

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    They Aren't The Problem, I Am

    I always envied how when something bad happens my fiancé asks to speak to my alters. It was never me. I could work things out if given the time. I just want to be given the chance to help. :( Sometimes I feel that no one wants me, like if I disappeared it'd be fine. They wouldn...
    Lexy5 Lexy5 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 19, 2012

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    woke up today and noticed someone did something

    to the body..i cant even recognize it
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Feb 21

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    Hey everyone if you would like I have this

    Korean drama people should watch that might help or might remind you of things. It's called hyde jekyll me and once you watch the show you'll understand what I'll mean, I'm super obsessed with the show.
    DarkHappiness DarkHappiness 13-15, F Feb 12

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    I think i just figured out

    why boy is soo upset.... someone said i need to shut up an lay still an it set him off i dont know wat to do! Ice~
    SweetAngelFrostPup SweetAngelFrostPup 16-17, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Two Peas In A Pod

    For a long time in my life, I knew I shared my mind with someone else. It wasn't until my late teens that I was determined to actually be co-conscious. My experience with this 'disorder' has been so incredibly positive, I've gained a friend and a new outlook on life. In my mind...
    TheDreamQueen TheDreamQueen 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 24, 2013

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    Our system is going down.

    Queen needs more recruits to hopefully keep her line down. It's ******* hell here now. So many panic attacks and death in our realm that it's making her into someone I don't recognize. We've even developed a painful stress node which hurts like hell when I touch it. ~Stone
    DarkHappiness DarkHappiness 13-15, F Feb 9

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    Hm, May As Well Make A Post.

    Well, I figured I'd post something to get to know other people who live under similar-ish circumstances, and possibly make friends with them (well, I suppose that's a no brainer). I guess I'll tell you guys about, uh, my body's life? (I think that's the most appropriate way of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Mar 9, 2013

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    The Alter that found this website,

    created this profile hadn't been around in a while, it's been about a month and They feel like They did when they joined, alone. In a few days there will be an abortion, everyone in us will be having an abortion, Nicki will be having an abortion, as will Phoenix. Phoenix is very...
    Anubis111 Anubis111 22-25, T 1 Response Mar 2

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    anyone have experience,

    maybe through therapy, working with alters that come from your ID EGO??
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F Feb 28

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    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Feb 4

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    Don't Even Know Who I Am

    That is right, I don't even know who I am. Am I the host of this body or not? What is going on inside makes no sense to me. Our supposed host doesn't even know who she is so how are we supposed to know who we are or why? Nothing makes much sense no more. Confused and alone
    Rachel4now Rachel4now 31-35, F 21 Responses Feb 16, 2008

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    Is it possible for a person with DID to be

    happily married?I'm having difficulties to remain married. It felt like my husband doesn't understand me and i just want out.
    Shabee74 Shabee74 41-45, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    I mean, I guuuuuuuuuuuess I'll be host

    for a little while~ I won't like it though.
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Feb 28

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    i remember the host who made this account.

    what a ******* ******* im so glad we are past ****** hosts. thats including myself when i was host hehe.
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Mar 9

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    Bad Day

    we are really struggling not to hurt ourself right now.we want to soooo badly. we won't.  we can't.  it's notallowed.  the protectors have a rule.  noone can harmthemselves, each other, or the body.  when the protectorsset a rule we all have to follow it whether we want to...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 3 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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    Weekend weekend I love the weekend!

    I get to have so much fun! Do you like the weekend? Of course you do it's the weekend ^_^ ~Theta
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M Jan 24

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    So there's a new alter all of a sudden.

    .. He appeared a couple of hours after a fight with the only person who knows about them (everything's okay now :)) and he's... Weird... He has made no outward appearance, or inner verbal. But he stands in our inner house and stares at one wall, he's been there six days...
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 5 Responses Mar 4

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    Afraid Of Losing Someone...

    This has always been a fear of mine and my alters. I lost my parents at a young age. My father died in a fire and my mother died of a brain hemmorage. My grandpa passed away at a young age and my grandma just died recently. I am always afraid of someone I love dying, especially...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 21, 2012

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    We are a family here.

    And we keep the host protected and alive. The littles help a lot too. And the guys protect fiercely. It's great actually. :)
    krystalkool84 krystalkool84 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    I'm just so sad :( ..

    ............
    Celasta Celasta 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I have an alter, Shelia,

    who is a true rebel!!!!! free spirit, runs wild, wants her independence, holds anger toward herself and her past. I am the hardest on her and she feels put down and frowned upon. I am supposed to be moving me and my three boys into my fiances house soon but Shelia is determined...
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 10

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    We're Doing WHAT????

    Katherine, who appears to be my internal self helper? She wants us to integrate. She doesn't care how much chaos this causes, because she wants us to "shine."I asked her how long this will take, she said two years...... 8[ ...That's fast. Really fast.Basically...to de...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 9 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    Shabee74 Shabee74 41-45, F Feb 1

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    Anybody As Full As I Am? Lol

    Hello i am living with 19 alters...some good...some bad...and i really would like to talk to somebody else who has them...its really awkward for me to talk about this but i figure if im going to this is the best place to do so
    MissRabbit MissRabbit 22-25, F