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I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 708 People

    Did you ever got drunk?

    If so, did it affected your system? How?
    AhtnamasH AhtnamasH 18-21, F 1 Response May 11

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    My Headmates

    I have DID. I have had this ever since I was eleven, and I don't know how to really explain them all, so I'll make a list (much like my alter egos. The sad thing about my alter egos is that they receded into their world [Yes, I have a world in my head. It's much like Wonderland...
    ManicAttack ManicAttack 18-21, F 7 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    There is me, Chantel (I'm always here)

    and then there is: C.C.- She is pink in color. She is single digits but is an age-slider (can be very young or mid-child). She is the most concrete. She is a playful and loving child. But she is also very wounded. MotherMii - She is green. She is the motherly, nurturing part...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 1

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    does anyone have tips

    for creating a healthy daily routine??
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 14

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    Not Doing Well...8/6/13

    The part of me/us that thinks "She just needs to not exist," is active again. It's scary. This part wants me dead, because I'm the problem. I'm also fighting not to self-injure. This is all a very familiarly unpleasant place, but I thought we were doing better, here.
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 12 Responses Aug 6, 2013

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    Don't Even Know Who I Am

    That is right, I don't even know who I am. Am I the host of this body or not? What is going on inside makes no sense to me. Our supposed host doesn't even know who she is so how are we supposed to know who we are or why? Nothing makes much sense no more. Confused and alone
    Rachel4now Rachel4now 31-35, F 21 Responses Feb 16, 2008

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    We're Doing WHAT????

    Katherine, who appears to be my internal self helper? She wants us to integrate. She doesn't care how much chaos this causes, because she wants us to "shine."I asked her how long this will take, she said two years...... 8[ ...That's fast. Really fast.Basically...to de...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 9 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    Afraid Of Losing Someone...

    This has always been a fear of mine and my alters. I lost my parents at a young age. My father died in a fire and my mother died of a brain hemmorage. My grandpa passed away at a young age and my grandma just died recently. I am always afraid of someone I love dying, especially...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 3 Responses Jan 21, 2012

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    WeSleepToMuch WeSleepToMuch 18-21 Apr 5

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    I do not know how others do it,

    I mean,survive have lives and routines, my life is an apocalyptic mess, I do not remember where I lived before, I think on the west coast but then I moved multiple times and now I am not in America any more, I live in the Middle East, I can hear gun fire in the distance, I ask...
    Dyzan7 Dyzan7 41-45 May 5

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    I don't know how many there are.

    I know without a shadow of a doubt about the strongest one. He was in full control for five years, then off and on with me for about a year to a year and a half. It's just been me for about a year now, even alone in my head, but I can feel him again. I can feel him getting...
    dontyouunderstand dontyouunderstand 18-21 4 Responses Apr 26

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    okay so this is just a random question,

    but can a host and alter date eachother when they are aware of eachother their presence?
    Domi16 Domi16 18-21, T 2 Responses May 2

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    I an almost done watching a kdrama based upon

    our disorder and I am crying because even though it's a show it brings things back. I have started to remember my past memories and they scare me quite a lot. I've gotten so attached to it so if you want to watch it too it's called kill me heal me
    DarkHappiness DarkHappiness 16-17, F Mar 17

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    I've had DID all my life,

    but disscovvered this last year through therapy. I have at least 8 alters but only know 6 of their names. I fully understand now why my life has Never normal. I am very glad to finally know and accept them. I do however need much support. Because I could not continue therapy...
    JanaMG JanaMG 61-65, F 4 Responses Jan 30, 2014

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    Sometimes I Feel Possessed

    There are many times the people in my head are talking to me and in the middle of their sentence their words would continue out my mouth without me knowing what they were going to say. I know this sounds completely weird. I have lost all my outside friends because of this problem...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    hi domi here I'm not the host,

    but I was wondering if you guy s call your alters anything else than alters. My host calls us for example: players or voices.
    Domi16 Domi16 18-21, T 4 Responses Apr 10

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    Healthy Multiplicity

    I have a case of what I like to call extremely mild DID. Others call it "Healthy Multiplicity". Basically, it's a form of DID that isn't considered to be a disorder, but just a condition. It doesn't cause any problems for me, and I am actually really glad I have it. I just wish I...
    saltyshelley saltyshelley 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    I switched for the first time in quite a

    while while out at a concert with my girl friend. L came out to dance and was shut down immediately and told to go back by my gf, and he listened right away. I'm proud of him for listening, but now L is feeling sad that he didn't get to dance. I can feel the walls melting away...
    owletsoutlet owletsoutlet 22-25, M 1 Response Apr 21

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    I am not some made up person

    for this weakling's coping mechanisms, despite what this fool has already stated. I am me. I exist. I existed in Kiel, Schlesswig-Holstein, Deuschland in my real, physical body, as me. I was born in 1993 to a woman named Jaime. My hair was black, and my eyes were crystal ice...
    dontyouunderstand dontyouunderstand 18-21 May 9

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    So I've been me for a while.

    My alter, who changes her name every so often, "Connie" allowed me access to her most recent memories without too much of a headache. It's the ones from the past I still can't access and when I push my head feels fuzzy or like it's going to explode. Everything has been quiet...
    Thingsunseen Thingsunseen 22-25, F Mar 15

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    We are a family here.

    And we keep the host protected and alive. The littles help a lot too. And the guys protect fiercely. It's great actually. :)
    krystalkool84 krystalkool84 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    I'm just so sad :( ..

    ............
    Celasta Celasta 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    DarkHappiness DarkHappiness 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    Hey guys, my name is Felix,

    and I believe I am the core personality. We've been searching for a place to easily talk to others with D.I.D. and perhaps obtain advice or reassurance. There's a whole mess of us in here and it's been becoming progressively difficult to feel comfortable without a community...
    Toxins Toxins 18-21 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Hey im wanting to talk to people around my age

    who also have DID please please add me on skype or google+ hangouts so we can chat :D SnowAngelFrostPup
    SweetAngelFrostPup SweetAngelFrostPup 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 3

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    I hate how blown up DID is in the media.

    I have it, it is no walk in the park... It's not easy... And no one should EVER wish to have it... But I am far from crazy. I just can't deal with things.
    iMinnow iMinnow 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2014

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    It was hard for me to admit

    and talk to the others I share my mind with, but we all manage to get along now. Mostly. Our biggest struggle now is trying to figure how all seven of us can agree on one future. Not to mention one communicating what happened during the others' blackouts, living with someone who...
    Venialia Venialia 18-21, F 1 Response May 12

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    Does anyone else live in,

    or has ever lived in an environment that doesn't support their illness? I'm trying my best to keep everything under control around my family but it's not working. I just keep getting more depressed and less functional. I don't know how to communicate with them in an effective...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    I have a whole playlist of songs

    that make me feel understood, these are the ones that focus on my DID... "Animal I have Become" Three Days Grace "Monster" Skillet "I am an Illusion" Rob Thomas "All These Years" Adema "Let Me Be Myself" 3 Doors Down "One X" Three Days Grace "Chameleon Boy" Blue October "Ugly...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 Aug 1, 2014

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    So yesterday during lunch at my high school,

    a freshman was acting all tough and ****, I ******* hate the freshmens this year, can't believe Alpha has to put up with this ****. Anyways, Alpha got his food from the lunch line and then the kid walked up to Alpha and started calling him weak and fat and a freak, (our secret...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 2 Responses Oct 16, 2014

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    DID

    For years speaking about my disorder has been taboo but know its time to make a stand. I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) i have a system of 7 functioning personalities with their own thought process likes dislikes etc. Together we map out on how to get through one day...
    Pablo89 Pablo89 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    Jaqueline's Story

     My name is Jaqueline. I am around 16 years old and havebeen for a very long time.  I am one of the vast manyin the system that goes here by Truth_Speaks.Recently, in emails, a very good friend of ours here onEP has been talking about feeling like things were herfault...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 7 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    Being DID and BiPolar feels like this to me.

    ..(I'm probably going to switch half-way through writing this, so bear with me) I live in this physical world that's just so-so and nothing fantastic ever happens, nothing exciting, everything just feels flat. I have my manic days or weeks where I feel ok and then ultra...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 1 Response Oct 2, 2014

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    About Me: Medi

    This is the first in a series of writings everybody in this body will participate in (assuming they go on EP at all). Its intent is to allow the reader to get to know each person in this body better, with information about the writer coming directly from the writer, thus avoiding...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 26, 2013

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    Im sitting here and Boy is screaming at the top

    of his lungs BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD NOOOO NOOO NOO BAD BAD and kicking and hitting anyone that try to touch him and get him to calm down....my head is killing me
    SweetAngelFrostPup SweetAngelFrostPup 16-17, M Mar 20

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    My Inners/Alters Whatever...

    I am currently up to 6. My therapist says I am not DID, this p1ssed the kids off, so they made me forget appointments for a month. ...They basically thought she was saying they aren't real... ...I LIKE my "kids", whatever they are. They helped me survive.  They STILL help me...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 5 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    Yes I do and I'm not ashamed of it!

    When I'm emotional or tired or just insecure I can switch without me wanting it. I have 4 known alters and a few I don't know yet. The 4 who show themselves the most are the ones I like the less (does that make sense?) Some are really draining, when they are in the back again I...
    Celasta Celasta 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 6

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    does anyone else with DID constantly find

    themselves talking out loud all day? I'm either having a one sided conversation out loud talking to the alters that are inside of me or the worst is when two or more are out and you can hear yourself carrying on conversations between your alters all day but totally out loud! its...
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F 6 Responses Mar 12

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    My different personalities

    and their ages. Remi (female) - 5000+ Kevin (male) - 16 Ian (male) - 16 Kaitlyn (Can change at will) - 16 Bell (female) - 12 Burnt (unknown) - 60 Toastenhall (male) - 60 Tettenhall (Unknown) - (Unknown) Joshua (male) (inner world only) - Unknown Enoch (male) (inner world only...
    WeSleepToMuch WeSleepToMuch 18-21 2 Responses Mar 31

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    himenoko143 himenoko143 18-21, F 2 Responses May 14

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    New... I Am A Hotel-Head who just spent 2 hours retype what we accidentially deleted the first time!! LOL

    Hello to the Group! I'm "M", and I am a "Hotel-Head". This is a term the kids came up with to describe the number of people in here and the chaos that follows them. Some of ours "check out" (deal with the "real" world), while some seem to have "do not disturb" signs wielded to...
    MoriBlue MoriBlue 46-50 3 Responses May 30, 2013

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    Ok, so I haven't been officially diagnosed with

    DID but this is the most active place for dissociative issues and I need some input. Hope I don't offend anyone. Thanks. Here goes: I've been drinking A LOT lately. Smoked weed, a lot of it. It was really good, but I did feel guilty at the same time only because I'm a nurse...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 12, 2014

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    Dating Someone With Dissociative Identity Disorder

      I am currently seeing someone with DID.The man I am seeing is wonderful!Lets call him Gavin.Gavin is happy-go-lucky, easy to talk to, understanding, optimistic, and so many more things…We have an amazing bond, unlike any I have ever shared with another human being...
    Neenie907 Neenie907 22-25, F 11 Responses Nov 4, 2009

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    hi my name is georgie i am 32 f

    and i have DID also. i am here to help other ppl out with their DID. if u and everyone there want to talk about any thing at all u all can talk to me about any thing at all. i am not a DID dr or a T that everyone go to. but i am here when everyone do not go to their Ts
    helpingmpdout8387 helpingmpdout8387 31-35, F 1 Response May 9

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    My Experience of a D.i.d (multilpe) Life

       I'm a 40 year old woman (but really I feel like a lot of much younger on inside) . Ive been aware of my system for 12 years .. I am poly multiple which means I keep splitting.  I have family groups within me but countless alters .I have Some (12 )well...
    thruthelookinglass thruthelookinglass 36-40, F 4 Responses May 17, 2009

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    Hm, May As Well Make A Post.

    Well, I figured I'd post something to get to know other people who live under similar-ish circumstances, and possibly make friends with them (well, I suppose that's a no brainer). I guess I'll tell you guys about, uh, my body's life? (I think that's the most appropriate way of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Mar 9, 2013

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