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I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 749 People

    why is it that I dont feel like Rosalynn (my

    birth/legal name) is my name? I'm the host of my body but i don't feel like that is my real name? I am not an alter.
    himenoko143 himenoko143 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 9

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    started to see a therapist again,

    but every time they hint towards a disassociation, I panic and change the subject. I have never been properly diagnosed but the others aren't ready for me to expose them yet
    Thingsunseen Thingsunseen 22-25, F Jul 6

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    Don't Even Know Who I Am

    That is right, I don't even know who I am. Am I the host of this body or not? What is going on inside makes no sense to me. Our supposed host doesn't even know who she is so how are we supposed to know who we are or why? Nothing makes much sense no more. Confused and alone
    Rachel4now Rachel4now 31-35, F 21 Responses Feb 16, 2008

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    My Inners/Alters Whatever...

    I am currently up to 6. My therapist says I am not DID, this p1ssed the kids off, so they made me forget appointments for a month. ...They basically thought she was saying they aren't real... ...I LIKE my "kids", whatever they are. They helped me survive.  They STILL help me...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 5 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    hi....I don't have did

    but my friends do and I want to learn as much as I can.
    ThisPhoenixRose ThisPhoenixRose 51-55, F 2 Responses Aug 2

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    I hate how blown up DID is in the media.

    I have it, it is no walk in the park... It's not easy... And no one should EVER wish to have it... But I am far from crazy. I just can't deal with things.
    iMinnow iMinnow 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2014

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    people who believe that dissociative identity

    disorder can be cured by 'giving yourself to god' and 'stop playing with ghosts (Wtf???) really have no idea how they can hurt people by saying things like that.
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 10

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    one of my younger alters drew ducks,

    butterflies and birds.....on my working paper!
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    himenoko143 himenoko143 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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    I've stopped talking to my friends

    because I don't want them to get hurt. Not that I would on purpose, but I can be very unpredictable at times. When I'm at home I stay in my room so I won't hurt my mom. It's a good thing I don't feel fear, because most people would be terrified of what I've become. Me, I'm just...
    reaperthejack reaperthejack 13-15, M Aug 22

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    My Experience of a D.i.d (multilpe) Life

       I'm a 40 year old woman (but really I feel like a lot of much younger on inside) . Ive been aware of my system for 12 years .. I am poly multiple which means I keep splitting.  I have family groups within me but countless alters .I have Some (12 )well...
    thruthelookinglass thruthelookinglass 36-40, F 4 Responses May 17, 2009

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    Jaqueline's Story

     My name is Jaqueline. I am around 16 years old and havebeen for a very long time.  I am one of the vast manyin the system that goes here by Truth_Speaks.Recently, in emails, a very good friend of ours here onEP has been talking about feeling like things were herfault...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 8 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    I want to share my entire experience with this

    disorder, as I have mostly had it for my entire life. I want to reflect, because most don't understand it. I am 28 now, and I have had symptoms of this disorder since I was 6 or 7, my name is Bill. Growing up, I lost my father when I was six years old, I was often in the...
    Edg3Runn3r Edg3Runn3r 26-30, M 1 Response May 28

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    can I connect with my alter through meditation?

    because I don't know how to communicate with her yet
    himenoko143 himenoko143 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 4

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    Last night faded into a scene of the local club,

    played on a giant screen, the derealization and depersonalization hit, since, my mind is in disconnect. Does anyone else see objects and people misrepresented? Like a normal array of objects being miscomprehended? My floor looks like a desert of wood grain, and the white...
    Edg3Runn3r Edg3Runn3r 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 2

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    Two Peas In A Pod

    For a long time in my life, I knew I shared my mind with someone else. It wasn't until my late teens that I was determined to actually be co-conscious. My experience with this 'disorder' has been so incredibly positive, I've gained a friend and a new outlook on life. In my mind...
    TheDreamQueen TheDreamQueen 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 24, 2013

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    Hm, May As Well Make A Post.

    Well, I figured I'd post something to get to know other people who live under similar-ish circumstances, and possibly make friends with them (well, I suppose that's a no brainer). I guess I'll tell you guys about, uh, my body's life? (I think that's the most appropriate way of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Mar 9, 2013

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    Hello. Rather new to this website

    but I believe that it should hopefully let be socialise with people more in a controlled environment. Looking around, i'm surprised to see young teenagers here. I struggled to get diganosed at my age, mainly because they kept thinking it was something else and I had no idea...
    WeSleepToMuch WeSleepToMuch 18-21 4 Responses Mar 28

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    I am nice. I want good friends to talk to.

    I am an alter who is kind. I want a good life here. I wish I had more friends to talk to. I hide, and only come out on here and with very close friends of my body person. OK.... I am nearly nice. I am good to my friend, Cheri. We are always using her body for friendly...
    navycs navycs 31-35, F Aug 16

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    I'm just a woman who's always been intrigued

    and interested in DID and talking and maybe even helping them. Anyone want to chat? Please message me if you are.
    Psawyer1 Psawyer1 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 28

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    I've come to terms with my DID

    but my family, who I have only told recently because I felt they wouldn't believe me. They act like I never even brought it up. I mean the reaction I got from my grandmother was no surprise she's old school like - still believes in electroshock therapy and being a homosexual...
    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    Does someone know how to clean up permanent

    marker from doors? Some of my other personalities wrote all over my kitchen! They really drive me crazy!
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 23

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    Not Doing Well...8/6/13

    The part of me/us that thinks "She just needs to not exist," is active again. It's scary. This part wants me dead, because I'm the problem. I'm also fighting not to self-injure. This is all a very familiarly unpleasant place, but I thought we were doing better, here.
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 12 Responses Aug 6, 2013

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    dissociative identity problem #1: switching at

    inappropriate times. This is just a experience to vent about a problem you have with D.I.D
    Domi16 Domi16 18-21, T 2 Responses Jul 13

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    why is it so hard for me to believe

    that I have DID.....I don't know how to convince myself....I just feel like I'm crazy rather than this being real....
    himenoko143 himenoko143 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 9

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    Ok, so I haven't been officially diagnosed with

    DID but this is the most active place for dissociative issues and I need some input. Hope I don't offend anyone. Thanks. Here goes: I've been drinking A LOT lately. Smoked weed, a lot of it. It was really good, but I did feel guilty at the same time only because I'm a nurse...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 12, 2014

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    Afraid Of Losing Someone...

    This has always been a fear of mine and my alters. I lost my parents at a young age. My father died in a fire and my mother died of a brain hemmorage. My grandpa passed away at a young age and my grandma just died recently. I am always afraid of someone I love dying, especially...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 3 Responses Jan 21, 2012

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    Bad Day

    we are really struggling not to hurt ourself right now.we want to soooo badly. we won't.  we can't.  it's notallowed.  the protectors have a rule.  noone can harmthemselves, each other, or the body.  when the protectorsset a rule we all have to follow it whether we want to...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 3 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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    Anybody As Full As I Am? Lol

    Hello i am living with 19 alters...some good...some bad...and i really would like to talk to somebody else who has them...its really awkward for me to talk about this but i figure if im going to this is the best place to do so
    MissRabbit MissRabbit 22-25, F 13 Responses Mar 8, 2012

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    Has anyone had any parts integrate before?

    I've had a few minor parts merge with me or another part. Now 4 of my main parts are ready to integrate. It's wonderful but also very scary. I don't know if I am strong enough to go through with it.
    dreshany dreshany 41-45, F 4 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    I think I might have DID

    or DDNOS. I know of alters but I don't always have amnesia when they take over. A lot of the time I feel co-consious but things are sometimes foggy. I've had a lot of emotional trauma in my life and I do not recall large chunks of my childhood. I'm looking to chat with people...
    MikelMourning MikelMourning 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 27

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    Being DID and BiPolar feels like this to me.

    ..(I'm probably going to switch half-way through writing this, so bear with me) I live in this physical world that's just so-so and nothing fantastic ever happens, nothing exciting, everything just feels flat. I have my manic days or weeks where I feel ok and then ultra...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 1 Response Oct 2, 2014

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    We're Doing WHAT????

    Katherine, who appears to be my internal self helper? She wants us to integrate. She doesn't care how much chaos this causes, because she wants us to "shine."I asked her how long this will take, she said two years...... 8[ ...That's fast. Really fast.Basically...to de...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 9 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    DID

    For years speaking about my disorder has been taboo but know its time to make a stand. I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) i have a system of 7 functioning personalities with their own thought process likes dislikes etc. Together we map out on how to get through one day...
    Pablo89 Pablo89 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    Yeah, I do too. I told my parents about it

    and they still think I'm not real. I mean, they try to understand make me feel better but I can still feel them judging me and it hurts. :/
    pannaa02 pannaa02 16-17, F Aug 4

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    So yesterday during lunch at my high school,

    a freshman was acting all tough and ****, I ******* hate the freshmens this year, can't believe Alpha has to put up with this ****. Anyways, Alpha got his food from the lunch line and then the kid walked up to Alpha and started calling him weak and fat and a freak, (our secret...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 2 Responses Oct 16, 2014

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    Iris Iris is one of my alters

    who is really hard to control. She is very strong minded and loves to break people mentally. I've lost some of my best friends because they couldn't deal with Iris. Somehow I can understand that but it also makes me sad. Iris really hates me and absolutely believes we don't...
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 16

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    Dissociative Identity Disorder/DID/formally

    known as MPD or multiple personality disorder. A lot of people have no idea what it means so I decided to write something about it and get some things out of the way. First of all I will answer the questions people ask me most:-So, you are schizophrenic?*No! Absolutely not, that...
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 22

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    We are a family here.

    And we keep the host protected and alive. The littles help a lot too. And the guys protect fiercely. It's great actually. :)
    krystalkool84 krystalkool84 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    Does anyone else live in,

    or has ever lived in an environment that doesn't support their illness? I'm trying my best to keep everything under control around my family but it's not working. I just keep getting more depressed and less functional. I don't know how to communicate with them in an effective...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    I need some help. If anyone could please

    message me; I'd greatly appreciate it. I think I have DID. But I don't blackout when these alters come out. I remember everything but, I feel I can't control my body. I have felt like I have had these alters since 2nd grade, I've always felt like someone else was in my head. I...
    amar2332 amar2332 16-17, F 4 Responses Jul 8

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    Did-nos-wtf

    Apparently I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified....The kids in my head are all like "We TOLD you so!" Well, they were right. ...I was reminded we may not have found everyone yet... That's a little ominous. Maybe that's where the intrusive thoughts come...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 2 Responses Jun 24, 2013

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    I've known ever since I was 7

    but I thought they were ghosts or demons. the first time someone came out in front of others, I was 17. now I'm married to one of the guys who knew already. I switch fairly often and some days it's like constant switching that I can barely keep up. we had name tags but I've...
    lilystone lilystone 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 4

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    It can be overwhelming,

    I don't even think we have a core anymore. Since childhood the experience of what ever is considered normal is unfathomable to me. Now that we are getting older at 26 years old, I find it all just feels like a dream. I used to try to convince myself I was in control, that I wasn...
    annKat annKat 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 20

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    Recently, (I suppose),

    I have been trying to live my life as if I wasn't affected by DID. I have been pretending (more than usual) that I do not even have it. I stopped taking medicine, I stopped going to the doctor...and I felt happy about that. Sometimes I fail to realize that my disorder disrupts...
    MsRebel MsRebel 31-35, F Jul 27

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    I have a whole playlist of songs

    that make me feel understood, these are the ones that focus on my DID... "Animal I have Become" Three Days Grace "Monster" Skillet "I am an Illusion" Rob Thomas "All These Years" Adema "Let Me Be Myself" 3 Doors Down "One X" Three Days Grace "Chameleon Boy" Blue October "Ugly...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35