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I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 775 People

    I am the host of airea,

    Zane and a other girl that is really shy
    Summerdogs Summerdogs 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 9, 2015

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    finally I am learning to communicate with my

    helping alters more. before I never understood why people loved some of their alters, now I do :)
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 20, 2015

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    Finally I found someone I could ask some

    questions about my childhood, fill the black holes, and now....only more questions
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 24

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    My Inners/Alters Whatever...

    I am currently up to 6. My therapist says I am not DID, this p1ssed the kids off, so they made me forget appointments for a month. ...They basically thought she was saying they aren't real... ...I LIKE my "kids", whatever they are. They helped me survive.  They STILL help me...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 5 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    Oh it's been such a long time.

    .. Locked away in my own head, out of sight out of mind. Forgotten... But the core personality is back! Finally freed, and now that I'm back... Things are gonna change. For better and worse... But oh it feels so good to have the air on my skin again, to feel things... Oh it's...
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 16-17, M 2 Responses Oct 23, 2015

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    Did-nos-wtf

    Apparently I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified....The kids in my head are all like "We TOLD you so!" Well, they were right. ...I was reminded we may not have found everyone yet... That's a little ominous. Maybe that's where the intrusive thoughts come...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 2 Responses Jun 24, 2013

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    My personalities made a mess out of things in

    the past and every once in a while someone from the past shows up again and I have to pick up the pieces
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F Oct 12, 2015

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    anyone here integrated

    or working on it and starting a new relationship, either friends or dating? does it trigger you to split up again?
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 3, 2015

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    fatallysilent fatallysilent 18-21, T Sep 23, 2015

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    Anybody As Full As I Am? Lol

    Hello i am living with 19 alters...some good...some bad...and i really would like to talk to somebody else who has them...its really awkward for me to talk about this but i figure if im going to this is the best place to do so
    MissRabbit MissRabbit 22-25, F 13 Responses Mar 8, 2012

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    Hey there..I feel uncomfortable sharing my real

    name here, but you can just call me Lux. I'm the host. I have two fully developed alters- one who I've been conscious of since I was about 8 years old, another who I have only become aware of this past year. They're Ris (female) and Jasper (male). I know that I have more alters...
    luxmeta luxmeta 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 17, 2015

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    Hm, May As Well Make A Post.

    Well, I figured I'd post something to get to know other people who live under similar-ish circumstances, and possibly make friends with them (well, I suppose that's a no brainer). I guess I'll tell you guys about, uh, my body's life? (I think that's the most appropriate way of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Mar 9, 2013

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    i have many alters..but mike.

    .. hes been bothersome recently..i dont like the things he does..he hurts people and me..
    fatallysilent fatallysilent 18-21, T 1 Response Sep 22, 2015

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    Bad Day

    we are really struggling not to hurt ourself right now.we want to soooo badly. we won't.  we can't.  it's notallowed.  the protectors have a rule.  noone can harmthemselves, each other, or the body.  when the protectorsset a rule we all have to follow it whether we want to...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 3 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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    I feel disconnected from reality,

    from myself. Like i'm floating around in another beings reality. I feel nothing, no empathy, no sympathy and no emotions. I've had no trauma in my life what so ever. I show classic signs of psychopathy. But somehow i believe i have dissociative identity disorder. I guess i would...
    kleptonic kleptonic 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 1

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    started to see a therapist again,

    but every time they hint towards a disassociation, I panic and change the subject. I have never been properly diagnosed but the others aren't ready for me to expose them yet
    Thingsunseen Thingsunseen 22-25, F Jul 6, 2015

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    Sometimes I Feel Possessed

    There are many times the people in my head are talking to me and in the middle of their sentence their words would continue out my mouth without me knowing what they were going to say. I know this sounds completely weird. I have lost all my outside friends because of this problem...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    Jaqueline's Story

     My name is Jaqueline. I am around 16 years old and havebeen for a very long time.  I am one of the vast manyin the system that goes here by Truth_Speaks.Recently, in emails, a very good friend of ours here onEP has been talking about feeling like things were herfault...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 8 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    DID

    For years speaking about my disorder has been taboo but know its time to make a stand. I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) i have a system of 7 functioning personalities with their own thought process likes dislikes etc. Together we map out on how to get through one day...
    Pablo89 Pablo89 26-30, F 7 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    Two Peas In A Pod

    For a long time in my life, I knew I shared my mind with someone else. It wasn't until my late teens that I was determined to actually be co-conscious. My experience with this 'disorder' has been so incredibly positive, I've gained a friend and a new outlook on life. In my mind...
    TheDreamQueen TheDreamQueen 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 24, 2013

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    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 17, 2015

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    After I realized yesterday

    that I'm an alter things start to make sense but I just can't understand it, how on earth did I believe I was the core person for so long??
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 16, 2015

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    I have a whole playlist of songs

    that make me feel understood, these are the ones that focus on my DID... "Animal I have Become" Three Days Grace "Monster" Skillet "I am an Illusion" Rob Thomas "All These Years" Adema "Let Me Be Myself" 3 Doors Down "One X" Three Days Grace "Chameleon Boy" Blue October "Ugly...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 Aug 1, 2014

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    I want to share my entire experience with this

    disorder, as I have mostly had it for my entire life. I want to reflect, because most don't understand it. I am 28 now, and I have had symptoms of this disorder since I was 6 or 7, my name is Bill. Growing up, I lost my father when I was six years old, I was often in the...
    Edg3Runn3r Edg3Runn3r 26-30, M 1 Response May 28, 2015

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    Has anyone had any parts integrate before?

    I've had a few minor parts merge with me or another part. Now 4 of my main parts are ready to integrate. It's wonderful but also very scary. I don't know if I am strong enough to go through with it.
    dreshany dreshany 41-45, F 4 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    dissociative identity problem #1: switching at

    inappropriate times. This is just a experience to vent about a problem you have with D.I.D
    Domi16 Domi16 18-21, T 2 Responses Jul 13, 2015

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    Hi! I am Ashley and this is my first post on

    here. I thought I'd share a little about myself and our system. Please excuse typos as I'm doing this from our phone lol. I am an alter, our host is a 36 year old male. I am 27, female, and I'm the social one in our system. There are 7 of us total. Brandon, the host/main...
    SystemofShadows SystemofShadows 36-40, M 1 Response Nov 6, 2015

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    Yeah, I do too. I told my parents about it

    and they still think I'm not real. I mean, they try to understand make me feel better but I can still feel them judging me and it hurts. :/
    pannaa02 pannaa02 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 4, 2015

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    I'm scared........what will happen

    if my core is awake again
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 14, 2015

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    We are divided into two factions,

    I can see it... We all can but no one will admit it. And if there was a war, I'm not sure who would win... And a war is something I don't want. -John
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 22, 2015

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    Hello everyone. I think my first experience

    should explain who I am exactly. I'm not the "host", original or whatever you wish to call the person who supposedly this body belongs to, but I like to think of myself as the "protector" of this body. (Its a term I saw that best describes me I think.) I basically make sure...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 10, 2015

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    Hey I'm Jessy. So this is a little weird

    for me because I usually keep to myself when I'm around but honestly I'm getting tired of being an embarrassment to my dearest host. She is afraid of what people will think of her so I have to stay home and not be seen by anyone but her husband. I hate it because I don't get to...
    BornFromShadows BornFromShadows 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 31, 2015

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    Don't Even Know Who I Am

    That is right, I don't even know who I am. Am I the host of this body or not? What is going on inside makes no sense to me. Our supposed host doesn't even know who she is so how are we supposed to know who we are or why? Nothing makes much sense no more. Confused and alone
    Rachel4now Rachel4now 31-35, F 21 Responses Feb 16, 2008

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    Hello. Rather new to this website

    but I believe that it should hopefully let be socialise with people more in a controlled environment. Looking around, i'm surprised to see young teenagers here. I struggled to get diganosed at my age, mainly because they kept thinking it was something else and I had no idea...
    WeSleepToMuch WeSleepToMuch 18-21 4 Responses Mar 28, 2015

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    Does anyone else live in,

    or has ever lived in an environment that doesn't support their illness? I'm trying my best to keep everything under control around my family but it's not working. I just keep getting more depressed and less functional. I don't know how to communicate with them in an effective...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    Ok, so I haven't been officially diagnosed with

    DID but this is the most active place for dissociative issues and I need some input. Hope I don't offend anyone. Thanks. Here goes: I've been drinking A LOT lately. Smoked weed, a lot of it. It was really good, but I did feel guilty at the same time only because I'm a nurse...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 12, 2014

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    People should stop to believe

    that the ultimate goal for people with DID is integration. it's not. we decided not to integrate, never
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 12, 2015

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    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 25

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    i don't believe i have this condition.

    But then on rare occasions there are conversations i don't remember having and things i don't remember doing and time i've had trouble accounting for. There was this one time someone was talking sexually to a guy on EP and i got in trouble for it. It was on my account and i...
    shimmeringrose shimmeringrose 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 21

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    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 8, 2015

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    I was recently diagnosed with Dissociative

    Identity Disorder. Anyone feel like talking about it or sharing their stories. I see a lot of people posting saying stuff like "host here" or "alter posting" I just am trying to understand my condition the best I can.
    DegenerateCrow DegenerateCrow 13-15, M 2 Responses Nov 26, 2015

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    Afraid Of Losing Someone...

    This has always been a fear of mine and my alters. I lost my parents at a young age. My father died in a fire and my mother died of a brain hemmorage. My grandpa passed away at a young age and my grandma just died recently. I am always afraid of someone I love dying, especially...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 3 Responses Jan 21, 2012

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    how do I get help if no one believes me?

    lately I have been going threw absolute hell. my doctor wont listen when I talk about the side effects my medication is causing, the psychiatrist doesn't believe I have DID and no one else will treat me or help me without that freaking diagnosis. I try to go for even just...
    oceansix oceansix 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 19, 2015

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    It can be overwhelming,

    I don't even think we have a core anymore. Since childhood the experience of what ever is considered normal is unfathomable to me. Now that we are getting older at 26 years old, I find it all just feels like a dream. I used to try to convince myself I was in control, that I wasn...
    annKat annKat 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 20, 2015

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    I feel weird, really weird.

    We have been doing journaling so all of the others have the chance to draw or write what is on their mind, well tonight someone did, a 4 page story about how she felt that I wasn't there for them, that she had the feeling she always had to rescue me and that she doesn't...
    Meliantha Meliantha 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 11, 2015

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