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I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 740 People

    can I connect with my alter through meditation?

    because I don't know how to communicate with her yet
    himenoko143 himenoko143 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 4

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    I have recently been diagnosed with DID,

    however when I looked it up to learn more about it, it didn't really seem to fit what my host and I fall into. Rather than blacking out or having lost moments when we switch, it's more like we just take turns taking the back seat. We are aware of each other at nearly all times...
    Calem545 Calem545 22-25, T 3 Responses May 25

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    just got done with someone copying some of the

    alters in this system. my mental illness isn't a joke you ******* *******.
    marusu marusu 70+ 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I have a whole playlist of songs

    that make me feel understood, these are the ones that focus on my DID... "Animal I have Become" Three Days Grace "Monster" Skillet "I am an Illusion" Rob Thomas "All These Years" Adema "Let Me Be Myself" 3 Doors Down "One X" Three Days Grace "Chameleon Boy" Blue October "Ugly...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 Aug 1, 2014

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    Recently, (I suppose),

    I have been trying to live my life as if I wasn't affected by DID. I have been pretending (more than usual) that I do not even have it. I stopped taking medicine, I stopped going to the doctor...and I felt happy about that. Sometimes I fail to realize that my disorder disrupts...
    MsRebel MsRebel 31-35, F 3 days ago

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    I've come to terms with my DID

    but my family, who I have only told recently because I felt they wouldn't believe me. They act like I never even brought it up. I mean the reaction I got from my grandmother was no surprise she's old school like - still believes in electroshock therapy and being a homosexual...
    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    So yesterday during lunch at my high school,

    a freshman was acting all tough and ****, I ******* hate the freshmens this year, can't believe Alpha has to put up with this ****. Anyways, Alpha got his food from the lunch line and then the kid walked up to Alpha and started calling him weak and fat and a freak, (our secret...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 2 Responses Oct 16, 2014

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    Does anyone else live in,

    or has ever lived in an environment that doesn't support their illness? I'm trying my best to keep everything under control around my family but it's not working. I just keep getting more depressed and less functional. I don't know how to communicate with them in an effective...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    It was hard for me to admit

    and talk to the others I share my mind with, but we all manage to get along now. Mostly. Our biggest struggle now is trying to figure how all seven of us can agree on one future. Not to mention one communicating what happened during the others' blackouts, living with someone who...
    Venialia Venialia 22-25, F 2 Responses May 12

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    Hm, May As Well Make A Post.

    Well, I figured I'd post something to get to know other people who live under similar-ish circumstances, and possibly make friends with them (well, I suppose that's a no brainer). I guess I'll tell you guys about, uh, my body's life? (I think that's the most appropriate way of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Mar 9, 2013

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    I want to share my entire experience with this

    disorder, as I have mostly had it for my entire life. I want to reflect, because most don't understand it. I am 28 now, and I have had symptoms of this disorder since I was 6 or 7, my name is Bill. Growing up, I lost my father when I was six years old, I was often in the...
    Edg3Runn3r Edg3Runn3r 26-30, M 1 Response May 28

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    We're Doing WHAT????

    Katherine, who appears to be my internal self helper? She wants us to integrate. She doesn't care how much chaos this causes, because she wants us to "shine."I asked her how long this will take, she said two years...... 8[ ...That's fast. Really fast.Basically...to de...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 9 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    I posted the intro to my DID over in the MPD

    page. But I just came across an eighth "alter" as you all call them. I introduce you all to Lilly (also known as Tiger Lilly to our boyfriend). She's a strong soul, but filled with overall negativity. She's afraid of most things and breaks out in serious spouts of depression...
    Venialia Venialia 22-25, F May 22

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    Ok, so I haven't been officially diagnosed with

    DID but this is the most active place for dissociative issues and I need some input. Hope I don't offend anyone. Thanks. Here goes: I've been drinking A LOT lately. Smoked weed, a lot of it. It was really good, but I did feel guilty at the same time only because I'm a nurse...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 12, 2014

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    I'm just a woman who's always been intrigued

    and interested in DID and talking and maybe even helping them. Anyone want to chat? Please message me if you are.
    Psawyer1 Psawyer1 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 28

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    Sometimes I Feel Possessed

    There are many times the people in my head are talking to me and in the middle of their sentence their words would continue out my mouth without me knowing what they were going to say. I know this sounds completely weird. I have lost all my outside friends because of this problem...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    Hey guys, my name is Felix,

    and I believe I am the core personality. We've been searching for a place to easily talk to others with D.I.D. and perhaps obtain advice or reassurance. There's a whole mess of us in here and it's been becoming progressively difficult to feel comfortable without a community...
    Toxins Toxins 18-21 2 Responses May 19

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    being a alter is one of the most boring

    experiences in my life that i have ever had the privilege of experiencing nothing happens almost everyday because this person hardly has a god damn life We literally spend most of the day indoors inside their house wasting the bodies life away and the worst part is because...
    Gerios Gerios 18-21, T Jun 1

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    dissociative identity problem #1: switching at

    inappropriate times. This is just a experience to vent about a problem you have with D.I.D
    Domi16 Domi16 18-21, T 2 Responses Jul 13

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    started to see a therapist again,

    but every time they hint towards a disassociation, I panic and change the subject. I have never been properly diagnosed but the others aren't ready for me to expose them yet
    Thingsunseen Thingsunseen 22-25, F Jul 6

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    Healthy Multiplicity

    I have a case of what I like to call extremely mild DID. Others call it "Healthy Multiplicity". Basically, it's a form of DID that isn't considered to be a disorder, but just a condition. It doesn't cause any problems for me, and I am actually really glad I have it. I just wish I...
    saltyshelley saltyshelley 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    In the beginning, there was just me.

    The one born in the body as a baby. Then, there was "Niemo" (codename for use on this site). And then Y, V, T, Danny, Crave, Aeli, B, Zakk, Barry, Liza, Tony, Mommy, Daddy, Tomi, Billa, Kehl Rabenstein, Puppet Master, Lucifer, Tobi, Jack, Andres, Flyboys (group), Lilith, Gabriel...
    dontyouunderstand dontyouunderstand 18-21 May 28

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    I am not some made up person

    for this weakling's coping mechanisms, despite what this fool has already stated. I am me. I exist. I existed in Kiel, Schlesswig-Holstein, Deuschland in my real, physical body, as me. I was born in 1993 to a woman named Jaime. My hair was black, and my eyes were crystal ice...
    dontyouunderstand dontyouunderstand 18-21 May 9

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    Hello there. I am a alter,

    I came on here because I have been feeling quite lonely lately. I don't have many people to talk to, even though it is a big system. They are all afraid of me because of how I was a long time ago. Although I have memories of a past life, I realise that they were not real. It...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses May 26

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    Anybody As Full As I Am? Lol

    Hello i am living with 19 alters...some good...some bad...and i really would like to talk to somebody else who has them...its really awkward for me to talk about this but i figure if im going to this is the best place to do so
    MissRabbit MissRabbit 22-25, F 13 Responses Mar 8, 2012

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    Being DID and BiPolar feels like this to me.

    ..(I'm probably going to switch half-way through writing this, so bear with me) I live in this physical world that's just so-so and nothing fantastic ever happens, nothing exciting, everything just feels flat. I have my manic days or weeks where I feel ok and then ultra...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 1 Response Oct 2, 2014

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    hi my name is georgie i am 32 f

    and i have DID also. i am here to help other ppl out with their DID. if u and everyone there want to talk about any thing at all u all can talk to me about any thing at all. i am not a DID dr or a T that everyone go to. but i am here when everyone do not go to their Ts
    helpingmpdout8387 helpingmpdout8387 31-35, F 1 Response May 9

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    I need some help. If anyone could please

    message me; I'd greatly appreciate it. I think I have DID. But I don't blackout when these alters come out. I remember everything but, I feel I can't control my body. I have felt like I have had these alters since 2nd grade, I've always felt like someone else was in my head. I...
    amar2332 amar2332 16-17, F 4 Responses Jul 8

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    i feel like ill /never/ figure out how to

    explain to people that they really werent talking to who they thought they were. well i used to enjoy pretending to be our old host up until now since our current host isnt someone i can mimic as easy or am comfortable with doing since they would get really mad at me >____<...
    lonqu lonqu 16-17 1 Response Jun 15

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    the walls are getting bigger!

    it's scaring me really cause all i have is kaito to tell me what's going on and i can hardly remember anything anymore! i mean it was quiet bad before but now it's just getting worse! therapy later today too 😄🔫
    lonqu lonqu 16-17 1 Response Jun 10

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    I hate how blown up DID is in the media.

    I have it, it is no walk in the park... It's not easy... And no one should EVER wish to have it... But I am far from crazy. I just can't deal with things.
    iMinnow iMinnow 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2014

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    Has anyone had any parts integrate before?

    I've had a few minor parts merge with me or another part. Now 4 of my main parts are ready to integrate. It's wonderful but also very scary. I don't know if I am strong enough to go through with it.
    dreshany dreshany 41-45, F 4 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    I have been told and shown by an alter

    that I was molested by my brother, but I cannot accept it. I cannot come to terms. He says this is why he came around. To protect me from my brother. How do you even begin to fathom that the boy who protected you from bullies and other pain is the source of your insanity?
    Scaciana Scaciana 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 20

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    It can be overwhelming,

    I don't even think we have a core anymore. Since childhood the experience of what ever is considered normal is unfathomable to me. Now that we are getting older at 26 years old, I find it all just feels like a dream. I used to try to convince myself I was in control, that I wasn...
    annKat annKat 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 20

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    why is it so hard for me to believe

    that I have DID.....I don't know how to convince myself....I just feel like I'm crazy rather than this being real....
    himenoko143 himenoko143 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 9

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    why is it that I dont feel like Rosalynn (my

    birth/legal name) is my name? I'm the host of my body but i don't feel like that is my real name? I am not an alter.
    himenoko143 himenoko143 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 9

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    I just recently found out I have DID

    which would explain a lot of things happening to me lately. I'm not sure if I should feel sorry for myself or embrace it yet honestly. Right now I'm just going with the flow of things.
    brookledsome brookledsome 16-17, F Jun 17

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    Did you ever got drunk?

    If so, did it affected your system? How?
    AhtnamasH AhtnamasH 18-21, F 1 Response May 11

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    My Inners/Alters Whatever...

    I am currently up to 6. My therapist says I am not DID, this p1ssed the kids off, so they made me forget appointments for a month. ...They basically thought she was saying they aren't real... ...I LIKE my "kids", whatever they are. They helped me survive.  They STILL help me...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 6 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    My Experience of a D.i.d (multilpe) Life

       I'm a 40 year old woman (but really I feel like a lot of much younger on inside) . Ive been aware of my system for 12 years .. I am poly multiple which means I keep splitting.  I have family groups within me but countless alters .I have Some (12 )well...
    thruthelookinglass thruthelookinglass 36-40, F 4 Responses May 17, 2009

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    Afraid Of Losing Someone...

    This has always been a fear of mine and my alters. I lost my parents at a young age. My father died in a fire and my mother died of a brain hemmorage. My grandpa passed away at a young age and my grandma just died recently. I am always afraid of someone I love dying, especially...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 3 Responses Jan 21, 2012

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    We are a family here.

    And we keep the host protected and alive. The littles help a lot too. And the guys protect fiercely. It's great actually. :)
    krystalkool84 krystalkool84 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    Not Doing Well...8/6/13

    The part of me/us that thinks "She just needs to not exist," is active again. It's scary. This part wants me dead, because I'm the problem. I'm also fighting not to self-injure. This is all a very familiarly unpleasant place, but I thought we were doing better, here.
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 12 Responses Aug 6, 2013

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    Did-nos-wtf

    Apparently I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified....The kids in my head are all like "We TOLD you so!" Well, they were right. ...I was reminded we may not have found everyone yet... That's a little ominous. Maybe that's where the intrusive thoughts come...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 2 Responses Jun 24, 2013

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    Bad Day

    we are really struggling not to hurt ourself right now.we want to soooo badly. we won't.  we can't.  it's notallowed.  the protectors have a rule.  noone can harmthemselves, each other, or the body.  when the protectorsset a rule we all have to follow it whether we want to...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 3 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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    Two Peas In A Pod

    For a long time in my life, I knew I shared my mind with someone else. It wasn't until my late teens that I was determined to actually be co-conscious. My experience with this 'disorder' has been so incredibly positive, I've gained a friend and a new outlook on life. In my mind...
    TheDreamQueen TheDreamQueen 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 24, 2013

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