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I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 695 People

    They Aren't The Problem, I Am

    I always envied how when something bad happens my fiancé asks to speak to my alters. It was never me. I could work things out if given the time. I just want to be given the chance to help. :( Sometimes I feel that no one wants me, like if I disappeared it'd be fine. They wouldn...
    Lexy5 Lexy5 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 19, 2012

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    Not Doing Well...8/6/13

    The part of me/us that thinks "She just needs to not exist," is active again. It's scary. This part wants me dead, because I'm the problem. I'm also fighting not to self-injure. This is all a very familiarly unpleasant place, but I thought we were doing better, here.
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 12 Responses Aug 6, 2013

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    Sometimes I Feel Possessed

    There are many times the people in my head are talking to me and in the middle of their sentence their words would continue out my mouth without me knowing what they were going to say. I know this sounds completely weird. I have lost all my outside friends because of this problem...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    Hello. Rather new to this website

    but I believe that it should hopefully let be socialise with people more in a controlled environment. Looking around, i'm surprised to see young teenagers here. I struggled to get diganosed at my age, mainly because they kept thinking it was something else and I had no idea...
    WeSleepToMuch WeSleepToMuch 18-21 1 Response 1 day ago

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    So I've been me for a while.

    My alter, who changes her name every so often, "Connie" allowed me access to her most recent memories without too much of a headache. It's the ones from the past I still can't access and when I push my head feels fuzzy or like it's going to explode. Everything has been quiet...
    Thingsunseen Thingsunseen 22-25, F Mar 15

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    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Feb 4

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    Has anyone had any parts integrate before?

    I've had a few minor parts merge with me or another part. Now 4 of my main parts are ready to integrate. It's wonderful but also very scary. I don't know if I am strong enough to go through with it.
    dreshany dreshany 41-45, F 4 Responses Nov 20, 2014

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    Does anyone else live in,

    or has ever lived in an environment that doesn't support their illness? I'm trying my best to keep everything under control around my family but it's not working. I just keep getting more depressed and less functional. I don't know how to communicate with them in an effective...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 13, 2014

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    I mean, I guuuuuuuuuuuess I'll be host

    for a little while~ I won't like it though.
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Feb 28

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    My Experience of a D.i.d (multilpe) Life

       I'm a 40 year old woman (but really I feel like a lot of much younger on inside) . Ive been aware of my system for 12 years .. I am poly multiple which means I keep splitting.  I have family groups within me but countless alters .I have Some (12 )well...
    thruthelookinglass thruthelookinglass 36-40, F 4 Responses May 17, 2009

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    I'm just so sad :( ..

    ............
    Celasta Celasta 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Hm, May As Well Make A Post.

    Well, I figured I'd post something to get to know other people who live under similar-ish circumstances, and possibly make friends with them (well, I suppose that's a no brainer). I guess I'll tell you guys about, uh, my body's life? (I think that's the most appropriate way of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Mar 9, 2013

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    DID

    For years speaking about my disorder has been taboo but know its time to make a stand. I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) i have a system of 7 functioning personalities with their own thought process likes dislikes etc. Together we map out on how to get through one day...
    Pablo89 Pablo89 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    woke up today and noticed someone did something

    to the body..i cant even recognize it
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Feb 21

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    Bad Day

    we are really struggling not to hurt ourself right now.we want to soooo badly. we won't.  we can't.  it's notallowed.  the protectors have a rule.  noone can harmthemselves, each other, or the body.  when the protectorsset a rule we all have to follow it whether we want to...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 3 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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    The Alter that found this website,

    created this profile hadn't been around in a while, it's been about a month and They feel like They did when they joined, alone. In a few days there will be an abortion, everyone in us will be having an abortion, Nicki will be having an abortion, as will Phoenix. Phoenix is very...
    Anubis111 Anubis111 22-25, T 1 Response Mar 2

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    Dating Someone With Dissociative Identity Disorder

      I am currently seeing someone with DID.The man I am seeing is wonderful!Lets call him Gavin.Gavin is happy-go-lucky, easy to talk to, understanding, optimistic, and so many more things…We have an amazing bond, unlike any I have ever shared with another human being...
    Neenie907 Neenie907 22-25, F 11 Responses Nov 4, 2009

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    Im sitting here and Boy is screaming at the top

    of his lungs BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD NOOOO NOOO NOO BAD BAD and kicking and hitting anyone that try to touch him and get him to calm down....my head is killing me
    SweetAngelFrostPup SweetAngelFrostPup 16-17, M Mar 20

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    does anyone have tips

    for creating a healthy daily routine??
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 14

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    i remember the host who made this account.

    what a ******* ******* im so glad we are past ****** hosts. thats including myself when i was host hehe.
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Mar 9

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    Ok, so I haven't been officially diagnosed with

    DID but this is the most active place for dissociative issues and I need some input. Hope I don't offend anyone. Thanks. Here goes: I've been drinking A LOT lately. Smoked weed, a lot of it. It was really good, but I did feel guilty at the same time only because I'm a nurse...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 12, 2014

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    We are a family here.

    And we keep the host protected and alive. The littles help a lot too. And the guys protect fiercely. It's great actually. :)
    krystalkool84 krystalkool84 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    DarkHappiness DarkHappiness 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    Afraid Of Losing Someone...

    This has always been a fear of mine and my alters. I lost my parents at a young age. My father died in a fire and my mother died of a brain hemmorage. My grandpa passed away at a young age and my grandma just died recently. I am always afraid of someone I love dying, especially...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 21, 2012

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    does anyone else with DID constantly find

    themselves talking out loud all day? I'm either having a one sided conversation out loud talking to the alters that are inside of me or the worst is when two or more are out and you can hear yourself carrying on conversations between your alters all day but totally out loud! its...
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 12

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    anyone have experience,

    maybe through therapy, working with alters that come from your ID EGO??
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F Feb 28

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    I hate how blown up DID is in the media.

    I have it, it is no walk in the park... It's not easy... And no one should EVER wish to have it... But I am far from crazy. I just can't deal with things.
    iMinnow iMinnow 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2014

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    I have a whole playlist of songs

    that make me feel understood, these are the ones that focus on my DID... "Animal I have Become" Three Days Grace "Monster" Skillet "I am an Illusion" Rob Thomas "All These Years" Adema "Let Me Be Myself" 3 Doors Down "One X" Three Days Grace "Chameleon Boy" Blue October "Ugly...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 Aug 1, 2014

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    Yes I do and I'm not ashamed of it!

    When I'm emotional or tired or just insecure I can switch without me wanting it. I have 4 known alters and a few I don't know yet. The 4 who show themselves the most are the ones I like the less (does that make sense?) Some are really draining, when they are in the back again I...
    Celasta Celasta 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 6

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    So Ash has gone back to the inside world he

    been "host" for like 3 weeks now all of us have been just staying in the inside world often but we realize he need a break so he just staying inside for now on so Ice will be playing host, an Ash will be coming out every so often to do something or if u ask for him. James~
    SweetAngelFrostPup SweetAngelFrostPup 16-17, M Mar 21

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    Shabee74 Shabee74 41-45, F Feb 1

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    dont know where the host has gone,

    its like our system is collapsing on itself now and all i can hear is mika saying stuff like, "i told you so! i told you so!" euggh i dont even know what to do anymore cause this wasnt even my fault to begin with
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Feb 18

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    Don't Even Know Who I Am

    That is right, I don't even know who I am. Am I the host of this body or not? What is going on inside makes no sense to me. Our supposed host doesn't even know who she is so how are we supposed to know who we are or why? Nothing makes much sense no more. Confused and alone
    Rachel4now Rachel4now 31-35, F 21 Responses Feb 16, 2008

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    I've had DID all my life,

    but disscovvered this last year through therapy. I have at least 8 alters but only know 6 of their names. I fully understand now why my life has Never normal. I am very glad to finally know and accept them. I do however need much support. Because I could not continue therapy...
    JanaMG JanaMG 61-65, F 4 Responses Jan 30, 2014

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    Our system is going down.

    Queen needs more recruits to hopefully keep her line down. It's ******* hell here now. So many panic attacks and death in our realm that it's making her into someone I don't recognize. We've even developed a painful stress node which hurts like hell when I touch it. ~Stone
    DarkHappiness DarkHappiness 13-15, F Feb 9

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    Being DID and BiPolar feels like this to me.

    ..(I'm probably going to switch half-way through writing this, so bear with me) I live in this physical world that's just so-so and nothing fantastic ever happens, nothing exciting, everything just feels flat. I have my manic days or weeks where I feel ok and then ultra...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 1 Response Oct 2, 2014

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    About Me: Medi

    This is the first in a series of writings everybody in this body will participate in (assuming they go on EP at all). Its intent is to allow the reader to get to know each person in this body better, with information about the writer coming directly from the writer, thus avoiding...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 26, 2013

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    Anybody As Full As I Am? Lol

    Hello i am living with 19 alters...some good...some bad...and i really would like to talk to somebody else who has them...its really awkward for me to talk about this but i figure if im going to this is the best place to do so
    MissRabbit MissRabbit 22-25, F 13 Responses Mar 8, 2012

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    ill miss you but changes happen

    for a reason ill just have to hope its for the better(why is a system shift so upsetting?)
    komaeda komaeda 16-17 1 Response Feb 7

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    well once again things have gone a bit overly

    complicated for me. I went to the hospital on the 24th of December got stitches in my arm the cut was really deep again. didn't get out till the 25th I walked home in the dark alone and then got back to the house. I'm in a new house again by the way. I don't know why I can't...
    tallestshadow tallestshadow 22-25, T 2 Responses Jan 12, 2014

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    The room isn't right,

    I don't remember being here, or falling asleep. My other half keeps talking me through it to calm me down. His voice in my head isn't doing me any justice. I know this is my house but it doesn't look right, it's all off. We're both lost, and I'm flipping through my journal...
    Edg3Runn3r Edg3Runn3r 26-30, M 4 Responses Feb 16

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    My Headmates

    I have DID. I have had this ever since I was eleven, and I don't know how to really explain them all, so I'll make a list (much like my alter egos. The sad thing about my alter egos is that they receded into their world [Yes, I have a world in my head. It's much like Wonderland...
    ManicAttack ManicAttack 18-21, F 7 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    Jaqueline's Story

     My name is Jaqueline. I am around 16 years old and havebeen for a very long time.  I am one of the vast manyin the system that goes here by Truth_Speaks.Recently, in emails, a very good friend of ours here onEP has been talking about feeling like things were herfault...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 7 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    I have an alter, Shelia,

    who is a true rebel!!!!! free spirit, runs wild, wants her independence, holds anger toward herself and her past. I am the hardest on her and she feels put down and frowned upon. I am supposed to be moving me and my three boys into my fiances house soon but Shelia is determined...
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 10

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    My Inners/Alters Whatever...

    I am currently up to 6. My therapist says I am not DID, this p1ssed the kids off, so they made me forget appointments for a month. ...They basically thought she was saying they aren't real... ...I LIKE my "kids", whatever they are. They helped me survive.  They STILL help me...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 5 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    We're Doing WHAT????

    Katherine, who appears to be my internal self helper? She wants us to integrate. She doesn't care how much chaos this causes, because she wants us to "shine."I asked her how long this will take, she said two years...... 8[ ...That's fast. Really fast.Basically...to de...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 9 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    Hi, I'm new on here. Things have been

    overwhelming, real overwhelming. I told someone close to me I have DID and everything is chaotic. I question my diagnosis when certain ppl in my life only know one part of me, how is that possible? I have a lot of parts, but each one can be out for certain things so it's...