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I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 647 People

    These last few days I have been having to fight

    to keep an alter from coming out. L has taken up this new hobby of pretending to be me, and then hanging out with my ex. Last week I took over and she was sitting next to me and three days had gone by. To not have the memories from L being out is odd, I usually know what's going...
    owletsoutlet owletsoutlet 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 30

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    I always laugh when people compliment my

    personality. Cuz I'm just like LOL which one?
    iMinnow iMinnow 18-21, F Aug 29

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    About Me: Medi

    This is the first in a series of writings everybody in this body will participate in (assuming they go on EP at all). Its intent is to allow the reader to get to know each person in this body better, with information about the writer coming directly from the writer, thus avoiding...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 26, 2013

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    Afraid Of Losing Someone...

    This has always been a fear of mine and my alters. I lost my parents at a young age. My father died in a fire and my mother died of a brain hemmorage. My grandpa passed away at a young age and my grandma just died recently. I am always afraid of someone I love dying, especially...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 21, 2012

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    The Mirror

    Every day I encountered the girl in the mirror with skepticism, but her smile was so inviting and her conversation so stimulating. She spoke as if she knew my intimate thoughts and desires but her face was not of mine. It was slightly different in an alluring kind of way. She had...
    KayTJewels KayTJewels 26-30 1 Response Jul 4, 2011

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    My Inners/Alters Whatever...

    I am currently up to 6. My therapist says I am not DID, this p1ssed the kids off, so they made me forget appointments for a month. ...They basically thought she was saying they aren't real... ...I LIKE my "kids", whatever they are. They helped me survive.  They STILL help me...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 5 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    i hate looking at photos

    before january 2014 because im always wondering if its me or tabby.
    komaeda komaeda 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 3

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    Ugh I might as well do it,

    My name is Sigma, "Rex" might have already talked about me. Alpha, aka Rex, has been gone for a few hours now. It's so easy to imitate Alpha, not even his own parents know I'm not him. I should've done this years ago. All the things I could've done, and besides, with friends...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 2 Responses Jul 29

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    Did-nos-wtf

    Apparently I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified....The kids in my head are all like "We TOLD you so!" Well, they were right. ...I was reminded we may not have found everyone yet... That's a little ominous. Maybe that's where the intrusive thoughts come...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 2 Responses Jun 24, 2013

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    My Headmates

    I have DID. I have had this ever since I was eleven, and I don't know how to really explain them all, so I'll make a list (much like my alter egos. The sad thing about my alter egos is that they receded into their world [Yes, I have a world in my head. It's much like Wonderland...
    ManicAttack ManicAttack 18-21, F 8 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    We're afraid of integra*ion.

    My T says it's the only way to heal. But we feel safe the way we are.
    CollectionOfSouls CollectionOfSouls 22-25, M 3 Responses Aug 7

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    New... I Am A Hotel-Head who just spent 2 hours retype what we accidentially deleted the first time!! LOL

    Hello to the Group! I'm "M", and I am a "Hotel-Head". This is a term the kids came up with to describe the number of people in here and the chaos that follows them. Some of ours "check out" (deal with the "real" world), while some seem to have "do not disturb" signs wielded to...
    MoriBlue MoriBlue 46-50 3 Responses May 30, 2013

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    Not Doing Well...8/6/13

    The part of me/us that thinks "She just needs to not exist," is active again. It's scary. This part wants me dead, because I'm the problem. I'm also fighting not to self-injure. This is all a very familiarly unpleasant place, but I thought we were doing better, here.
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 13 Responses Aug 6, 2013

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    Starting To Accept It.

    When did it start? Well I don't know. I was physically abused from the ages 4-10. It started off slow. A slap here, a shove there. And as I got older it turned into emotional abuse. And I started getting punched and locked in closets and thrown down stairs. A lot of it is hard...
    HippieBitch HippieBitch 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 11, 2013

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    Well, a week from now my summer vacation ends

    and I'm going back to school. It's going to be hard this year, plus the fact my few friends might want to avoid me because I'm starting to lose control of all my alters, Sigma mostly. I'm just afraid everyone is going to reject me and brand me "Freak of The High School". Anyone...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M Aug 11

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    Ok, so I haven't been officially diagnosed with

    DID but this is the most active place for dissociative issues and I need some input. Hope I don't offend anyone. Thanks. Here goes: I've been drinking A LOT lately. Smoked weed, a lot of it. It was really good, but I did feel guilty at the same time only because I'm a nurse...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I guess something's are just hard wired,

    seriously it's my final days of my summer vacation. All I ask for is relaxation, nothing more. But no, my mother who promised to help me get through my problems, who promised to stop being the ***** she once was to me, one of the many people that hurt me and caused me to be this...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 1 Response Aug 13

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    Anybody As Full As I Am? Lol

    Hello i am living with 19 alters...some good...some bad...and i really would like to talk to somebody else who has them...its really awkward for me to talk about this but i figure if im going to this is the best place to do so
    MissRabbit MissRabbit 22-25, F 12 Responses Mar 8, 2012

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    Dating Someone With Dissociative Identity Disorder

      I am currently seeing someone with DID.The man I am seeing is wonderful!Lets call him Gavin.Gavin is happy-go-lucky, easy to talk to, understanding, optimistic, and so many more things…We have an amazing bond, unlike any I have ever shared with another human being...
    Neenie907 Neenie907 22-25, F 10 Responses Nov 4, 2009

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    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 29

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    Sometimes I Feel Possessed

    There are many times the people in my head are talking to me and in the middle of their sentence their words would continue out my mouth without me knowing what they were going to say. I know this sounds completely weird. I have lost all my outside friends because of this problem...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    distractedcharms distractedcharms 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 29

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    We want to talk to other DID systems :)

    if you have DID or DDNOS-1 and want to talk, message usss ❤️
    Yourguardianangel9613 Yourguardianangel9613 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 23

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    Does anyone else have this headache type

    feeling sometimes when your trying to sleep? Or an Alter that's a kid and pretty afraid of everything when he/she have a nightmare? Cause man, I feel like I have a headache and Theta had a nightmare when he in control for a bit and took a nap.
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 8

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    We're Doing WHAT????

    Katherine, who appears to be my internal self helper? She wants us to integrate. She doesn't care how much chaos this causes, because she wants us to "shine."I asked her how long this will take, she said two years...... 8[ ...That's fast. Really fast.Basically...to de...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 9 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    Hm, May As Well Make A Post.

    Well, I figured I'd post something to get to know other people who live under similar-ish circumstances, and possibly make friends with them (well, I suppose that's a no brainer). I guess I'll tell you guys about, uh, my body's life? (I think that's the most appropriate way of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Mar 9, 2013

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    Jaqueline's Story

     My name is Jaqueline. I am around 16 years old and havebeen for a very long time.  I am one of the vast manyin the system that goes here by Truth_Speaks.Recently, in emails, a very good friend of ours here onEP has been talking about feeling like things were herfault...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 6 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    .:: SYSTEM CRASH ::. The other night our system

    pretty much crashed. We managed to lock Missy away. (our extremely violent Alter who has tried to kill us) It was a horrible event for all of us. Some of us injured and Tate was driven to his old ways of insanity. We camped out together in the “lounge room” as we call it...
    FullHotel FullHotel 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 10

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    My system is a house.

    We all live in this house, with our own rooms (bedrooms) and communal rooms. Like the lounge room and library. We also have something like a prison, where the door only locks and opens from the outside, (its a nice rooom). There's also two studies and a council room. Our house...
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 6 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    After reading someones story about a rape the

    other night it got me thinking a little about my past. I laid in bed thinking about it and started to drift off to sleep. Suddenly my husband coughed right in my ear as he slept and it startled me so bad I went into a panic attack. I laid in bed blindly staring at the ceiling...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 Jul 26

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    I am wondering if anyone has any ideas

    that may be able to help.... I believe a new part has emerged. She is very confused, angry and scared. I am not sure if it's an inability or an unwillingness, but she refuses to communicate with me. She can speak through me and I pick up on her emotions/thoughts/feelings all to...
    dreshany dreshany 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 12

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    It's battle everyday.

    Sometimes you just have to ask "why me? What have I done to deserve this?" Some days are so much harder then others.
    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 17

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    hello the host here and im gonna share my

    experience since i feel that its time. so in 2011 i was diagnosed with DID and PTSD. idk i really dont know how to handle it? it still feels super unreal to me. my therapist has helped me discover an alter but idk if thats helping me?? id just like to befriend some people like...
    komaeda komaeda 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 16

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    From what I can tell this disorder,

    disease, adventure, experience (whatever you want to call it) is highly personalized. Everyone who is diagnosed has a very different experience. I think that really contributes to the confusion that most of the people with DID already live with. I'm just coming to realize that...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F Feb 8

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    im struggling with trying to keep my boyfriend

    and my other personality happy at the same time. no matter what i do its wrong.
    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 21

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    So my psychiatrist told me I should keep a

    journal for me and my alters, during the school year. It's basically for me, or my alters whenever they are in control, to write in. Such as what we feel, how are things, etc. So I replied to her saying, "so like a diary?", and she replied yes but for boys. I'm not sure whether...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 4 Responses Aug 16

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    DID

    For years speaking about my disorder has been taboo but know its time to make a stand. I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) i have a system of 7 functioning personalities with their own thought process likes dislikes etc. Together we map out on how to get through one day...
    Pablo89 Pablo89 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    Bad Day

    we are really struggling not to hurt ourself right now.we want to soooo badly. we won't.  we can't.  it's notallowed.  the protectors have a rule.  noone can harmthemselves, each other, or the body.  when the protectorsset a rule we all have to follow it whether we want to...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 3 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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    So I've been having issues with one of my

    alters lately. I'm not at all in touch with her really, or I guess co-conscious is the right word to use, I wouldn't know about her if other people didn't tell me. Another of my alters told me her name is Isla so that's all I know about her. The issue is she comes out when I'm...
    shell17 shell17 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 16

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    Follow my twitter cause I have no friends

    and should feel sorry for me D: @ShortPrincess19
    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 10

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    Two Peas In A Pod

    For a long time in my life, I knew I shared my mind with someone else. It wasn't until my late teens that I was determined to actually be co-conscious. My experience with this 'disorder' has been so incredibly positive, I've gained a friend and a new outlook on life. In my mind...
    TheDreamQueen TheDreamQueen 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 24, 2013

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    I have a whole playlist of songs

    that make me feel understood, these are the ones that focus on my DID... "Animal I have Become" Three Days Grace "Monster" Skillet "I am an Illusion" Rob Thomas "All These Years" Adema "Let Me Be Myself" 3 Doors Down "One X" Three Days Grace "Chameleon Boy" Blue October "Ugly...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 Aug 1

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    My Experience of a D.i.d (multilpe) Life

       I'm a 40 year old woman (but really I feel like a lot of much younger on inside) . Ive been aware of my system for 12 years .. I am poly multiple which means I keep splitting.  I have family groups within me but countless alters .I have Some (12 )well...
    thruthelookinglass thruthelookinglass 36-40, F 4 Responses May 17, 2009

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    well once again things have gone a bit overly

    complicated for me. I went to the hospital on the 24th of December got stitches in my arm the cut was really deep again. didn't get out till the 25th I walked home in the dark alone and then got back to the house. I'm in a new house again by the way. I don't know why I can't...
    tallestshadow tallestshadow 22-25, T 2 Responses Jan 12

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    Today Omega had an outburst.

    I don't blame him because the reason why he came out is, my chemistry teacher dropped down one letter grade for not putting the name, date, and period in order. She wanted: name, period, and date only. What a stupid reason for letting Omega out, I was just so angry that he took...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 3

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    Tate’s taken to covering all the mirrors

    when he fronts because he doesn’t like how he looks…. This feeling of having no idea who that is when I look in a mirror is getting out of hand…
    FullHotel FullHotel 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 3

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    They Aren't The Problem, I Am

    I always envied how when something bad happens my fiancé asks to speak to my alters. It was never me. I could work things out if given the time. I just want to be given the chance to help. :( Sometimes I feel that no one wants me, like if I disappeared it'd be fine. They wouldn...
    Lexy5 Lexy5 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 19, 2012

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    I've had DID all my life,

    but disscovvered this last year through therapy. I have at least 8 alters but only know 6 of their names. I fully understand now why my life has Never normal. I am very glad to finally know and accept them. I do however need much support. Because I could not continue therapy...
    JanaMG JanaMG 61-65, F 4 Responses Jan 30

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    So I found this "experience" thing.

    I'm hoping I can find some people to help me understand why this happened to me. What did I do? What did I eat? It's just really hard keeping up with these guys. It confuses the **** out of me. And when it doesn't confuse me it scares me. I'm terrified one will get the best of...
    RexxTheDinosawr RexxTheDinosawr 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 26

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    I'm new to this site,

    apparently one of my alters posted on here earlier and posted under the wrong category :s I was just wondering what it feels like for other people when they switch between alters and how much or how little control other people have..? Thanks!
    shell17 shell17 18-21, F 6 Responses Aug 13

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    Healthy Multiplicity

    I have a case of what I like to call extremely mild DID. Others call it "Healthy Multiplicity". Basically, it's a form of DID that isn't considered to be a disorder, but just a condition. It doesn't cause any problems for me, and I am actually really glad I have it. I just wish I...
    saltyshelley saltyshelley 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    I'm so mentally exhausted sharing my head with

    my alter, I need new ways to just mentally relax
    jrr2537 jrr2537 22-25, M 3 Responses Aug 25

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    I'm not actually sure

    that I have this but I do know that I have issues with dissociation. I've been diagnosed with ADD and OCD but I've been dissociating in and out of life my whole life. I don't remember a lot of my past that I wish I could. It's hard wondering sometimes if there we're instances of...
    fiendforlife fiendforlife 31-35, M 1 Response Sep 3

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