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I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 573 People

    Hey Santa, stuff this.

    None of us like the winter holidays. While some still believe in Santa, we all think it's a creepy concept. Some dude sneaks in and leaves things? Whoa. Besides the creep factor, there's also the family thing. I can't think of anybody real who is happy with their family...
    Jandcompany Jandcompany 31-35, F Dec 13, 2013

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    Starting To Accept It.

    When did it start? Well I don't know. I was physically abused from the ages 4-10. It started off slow. A slap here, a shove there. And as I got older it turned into emotional abuse. And I started getting punched and locked in closets and thrown down stairs. A lot of it is hard...
    HippieBitch HippieBitch 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 11, 2013

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    My Experience of a D.i.d (multilpe) Life

       I'm a 40 year old woman (but really I feel like a lot of much younger on inside) . Ive been aware of my system for 12 years .. I am poly multiple which means I keep splitting.  I have family groups within me but countless alters .I have Some (12 )well...
    thruthelookinglass thruthelookinglass 36-40, F 4 Responses May 17, 2009

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    My old therapist moved out of state.

    She really understood me and my alters and had spoken to most of them at least once. My new therapist? hes a skeptic. Joy. He insists that I'm delusional and a malingerer (someone who makes things up to get medical attention) now i really have nobody to talk to about it on a...
    dianadra dianadra 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 25

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    Sometimes I Feel Possessed

    There are many times the people in my head are talking to me and in the middle of their sentence their words would continue out my mouth without me knowing what they were going to say. I know this sounds completely weird. I have lost all my outside friends because of this problem...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jun 11, 2013

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    About Me: Medi

    This is the first in a series of writings everybody in this body will participate in (assuming they go on EP at all). Its intent is to allow the reader to get to know each person in this body better, with information about the writer coming directly from the writer, thus avoiding...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 26, 2013

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    DID

    For years speaking about my disorder has been taboo but know its time to make a stand. I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) i have a system of 7 functioning personalities with their own thought process likes dislikes etc. Together we map out on how to get through one day...
    Pablo89 Pablo89 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    I feel like I've made it through twenty years

    of being a human without holding onto a single emotional bond. I made a few friends when I got to college. When I realized I had finally made friends, it was the most incredible feeling in the world, followed immediately by an emotional breakdown as I processed all the time I...
    NightBirds NightBirds 18-21 4 Responses Feb 22

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    Anybody As Full As I Am? Lol

    Hello i am living with 19 alters...some good...some bad...and i really would like to talk to somebody else who has them...its really awkward for me to talk about this but i figure if im going to this is the best place to do so
    MissRabbit MissRabbit 22-25, F 13 Responses Mar 8, 2012

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    Ruth here. Basically I think people need to

    stop stewing in their ****. Don't get sad get mad. Protect yourselves against future attack. I don't know grow a pair (of nuts, ovaries-whatever). But all this whining is ridiculous.
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F Feb 20

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    Sucker Punch

    I watched this movie last night...if you have DID...you will understand it better than any person on the face of the earth. BUT IT WILL TRIGGER!! I highly recommend it, especially for those who would like to see what it is like inside the mind of some of us with DID. If you...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 26-30 8 Responses Aug 14, 2011

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    Bad Day

    we are really struggling not to hurt ourself right now.we want to soooo badly. we won't.  we can't.  it's notallowed.  the protectors have a rule.  noone can harmthemselves, each other, or the body.  when the protectorsset a rule we all have to follow it whether we want to...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 3 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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    We're Doing WHAT????

    Katherine, who appears to be my internal self helper? She wants us to integrate. She doesn't care how much chaos this causes, because she wants us to "shine."I asked her how long this will take, she said two years...... 8[ ...That's fast. Really fast.Basically...to de...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 9 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    Am I Wrong?

    I have 5 alters that I know of. There's one in particular that is stronger and tends to take over more than the others. Her name is Cocoa. She has been with me since I was 8 I think and she is 36. She tend to take over when I'm stressed and she handles situations totally...
    Mercedes215 Mercedes215 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 24, 2012

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    Why Nathan Came To Existence?

    I'm not sure when Nathan first appeared. I'v never been able to keep track of time. memories of things happening first happened after. Memories happening afterwards may have happened before. I remember Nathan hanging around in childhood. He was everything I was not supposed to be...
    crashtestdummy80 crashtestdummy80 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 19, 2011

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    Howdy y'all it's Sandra.

    I'm an alter I guess but here's the low-down: Anna, our host, or whatever, is it total trouble family wise. For one, I think this little lady is totes preggers. For two, her family is having a real hard time with the whole DID thing. If anyone out there has any tips to deal...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 12

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    well im getting evicted soon.

    and i had yet another wonderful break down. i did a deep cut in my leg and this time. i guess Moon wanted to play Doctor because she stiched us up herself. shes pissed. im freaking out i dont know if i should scream or cry. i cant sleep and thanks to a bad tooth that i cant get...
    tallestshadow tallestshadow 22-25, T 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    My Inners/Alters Whatever...

    I am currently up to 6. My therapist says I am not DID, this p1ssed the kids off, so they made me forget appointments for a month. ...They basically thought she was saying they aren't real... ...I LIKE my "kids", whatever they are. They helped me survive.  They STILL help me...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 5 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    I cant control who takes over

    but I'm aware of some of them i have had this ever since i can remember. All my life i have been trying to figure out why i cant remember certain events or things i have done and why i cant control what i say or do its like my body just does. I figured it out when i saw a video...
    nirvanageek94 nirvanageek94 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 31

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    Hello I see this experience tag being more

    recently used so I decided it would be sort of best that I write things here. Well to start off yes I do have DID and I am a part of the plural system of it. It's weird it's like a fairy tale almost and I have all these laws and it constrains me a lot. Right now the one writing...
    DarkHappiness DarkHappiness 13-15, F Apr 2

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    I have an alternate. Her name is Luna.

    I found out today. How do I let her out?
    bellazima bellazima 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 22

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    Did-nos-wtf

    Apparently I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified....The kids in my head are all like "We TOLD you so!" Well, they were right. ...I was reminded we may not have found everyone yet... That's a little ominous. Maybe that's where the intrusive thoughts come...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 2 Responses Jun 24, 2013

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    Im not diagnosed with DID

    as of now but i think i have it, i have voices and people in my head that i can see in my mind i geuss its like a house where all the "alters" live and i go there too when theres someone else in my body being me i geuss..its a really weird experience and i dont even know why its...
    Kevinthewhoreonobody Kevinthewhoreonobody 13-15 5 Responses Jan 16

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    New... I Am A Hotel-Head who just spent 2 hours retype what we accidentially deleted the first time!! LOL

    Hello to the Group! I'm "M", and I am a "Hotel-Head". This is a term the kids came up with to describe the number of people in here and the chaos that follows them. Some of ours "check out" (deal with the "real" world), while some seem to have "do not disturb" signs wielded to...
    MoriBlue MoriBlue 46-50 3 Responses May 30, 2013

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    Not Doing Well...8/6/13

    The part of me/us that thinks "She just needs to not exist," is active again. It's scary. This part wants me dead, because I'm the problem. I'm also fighting not to self-injure. This is all a very familiarly unpleasant place, but I thought we were doing better, here.
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 13 Responses Aug 6, 2013

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    well once again things have gone a bit overly

    complicated for me. I went to the hospital on the 24th of December got stitches in my arm the cut was really deep again. didn't get out till the 25th I walked home in the dark alone and then got back to the house. I'm in a new house again by the way. I don't know why I can't...
    tallestshadow tallestshadow 22-25, T 2 Responses Jan 12

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    My name is Janet. I am just a little kid.

    I am one of eight people living in Anna's head. We keep getting new ones. How do we make it stop splitting? It's getting too crowded. Thanks, bye!
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 19

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    Jaqueline's Story

     My name is Jaqueline. I am around 16 years old and havebeen for a very long time.  I am one of the vast manyin the system that goes here by Truth_Speaks.Recently, in emails, a very good friend of ours here onEP has been talking about feeling like things were herfault...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 6 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    My Headmates

    I have DID. I have had this ever since I was eleven, and I don't know how to really explain them all, so I'll make a list (much like my alter egos. The sad thing about my alter egos is that they receded into their world [Yes, I have a world in my head. It's much like Wonderland...
    ManicAttack ManicAttack 18-21, F 8 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    Healthy Multiplicity

    I have a case of what I like to call extremely mild DID. Others call it "Healthy Multiplicity". Basically, it's a form of DID that isn't considered to be a disorder, but just a condition. It doesn't cause any problems for me, and I am actually really glad I have it. I just wish I...
    saltyshelley saltyshelley 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    Just found out. Just thought the voices were

    normal. I'm in treatment and all I can think of is how confused I am. My brain is very confused.
    Springa Springa 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 8

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    Don't Even Know Who I Am

    That is right, I don't even know who I am. Am I the host of this body or not? What is going on inside makes no sense to me. Our supposed host doesn't even know who she is so how are we supposed to know who we are or why? Nothing makes much sense no more. Confused and alone
    Rachel4now Rachel4now 31-35, F 21 Responses Feb 16, 2008

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    I've had DID all my life,

    but disscovvered this last year through therapy. I have at least 8 alters but only know 6 of their names. I fully understand now why my life has Never normal. I am very glad to finally know and accept them. I do however need much support. Because I could not continue therapy...
    JanaMG JanaMG 56-60, F 3 Responses Jan 30

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    The Mirror

    Every day I encountered the girl in the mirror with skepticism, but her smile was so inviting and her conversation so stimulating. She spoke as if she knew my intimate thoughts and desires but her face was not of mine. It was slightly different in an alluring kind of way. She had...
    KayTJewels KayTJewels 26-30 1 Response Jul 4, 2011

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    I'm DID and usually stable

    after years of therapy. I'm now going into the menopausal stage of life, I'm 45. Looking for someone who had or is going through it too. I have questions. It seems that it is affecting the DID. Not sure what to do. Any advice, tips or suggestions?
    emotiveall emotiveall 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 27

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    I have DID no matter how hard I try not to

    admit it or reveal my diagnosis I can't get away from it. I wish I did not have DID I want to have a simple normal life without feeding any mental health issue. I want to be successful in life and become some one big but it seems I can only get soo far before symptoms arise...
    nomoreoopsy nomoreoopsy 31-35, F Apr 5

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    From what I can tell this disorder,

    disease, adventure, experience (whatever you want to call it) is highly personalized. Everyone who is diagnosed has a very different experience. I think that really contributes to the confusion that most of the people with DID already live with. I'm just coming to realize that...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F Feb 8

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    Is it true that the personality

    that you don't remember and lose time on is your true self? Is that my core personality?? If so, I've lost myself! Who am I!??
    Heidi75 Heidi75 36-40 4 Responses Jan 28

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    I am Amy, I am a little one inside of my host,

    there are many more of us. I had to take over today because my host isn't strong enough for her surroundings so I talk for her. She's been in counselling for 9+ years, she didn't get any better at all more worse...she feels very ashamed. She wants to go to the "school for sick...
    anitarende anitarende 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 5

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    Just want to say, I hope you're all doing well

    and survived the holidays. I like to hide :) but I do think of you all often.
    Jandcompany Jandcompany 31-35, F Jan 17

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    Does anyone else live in,

    or has ever lived in an environment that doesn't support their illness? I'm trying my best to keep everything under control around my family but it's not working. I just keep getting more depressed and less functional. I don't know how to communicate with them in an effective...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 13

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    I guess I have it a bit different.

    There is three of us. However we all share the same name in a way. My name is Kathleen...but at the same time it's not. That's the name I was born with, but I feel awkward when I claim it. It's just Kathy. Normal enough. Lots of people go by their nicknames, but I feel so...
    Kthlnlpz Kthlnlpz 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 2

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    I'll be 23 next month,

    my therapist still doesn't want to diagnose me, but well, I know they're here. How else do you explain answers in an empty room. Or the large black man standing over your shoulder that nobody ever seems to hear. My names Michael. And this is my body. And I've got about 20...
    Formulus Formulus 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 11

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    Spent the last 24 hours riding shotgun,

    I decided to let them run around a little bit, kept an eye to make sure they didn't hurt themselves. Kids got a little rowdy, but all in all, george and Albert ran the show pretty well.
    Formulus Formulus 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 12

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    So, been a few days since we came back here,

    guess we want someone to talk to. Things have been a little rough, we think we might have to go to rehab soon. Everyone's nervous.
    Formulus Formulus 22-25, M 7 Responses Feb 17

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    Community of Me

    I have never really been alone there was always someone in my head who would talk with me.  Even when I was a young man I could spend hours bymyself because I would play with those who were with me inside.  I learned from some of them how to be a proper young man. ...
    allofus allofus 46-50, M 3 Responses Mar 16, 2009

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    Dating Someone With Dissociative Identity Disorder

      I am currently seeing someone with DID.The man I am seeing is wonderful!Lets call him Gavin.Gavin is happy-go-lucky, easy to talk to, understanding, optimistic, and so many more things…We have an amazing bond, unlike any I have ever shared with another human being...
    Neenie907 Neenie907 22-25, F 8 Responses Nov 4, 2009

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    Afraid Of Losing Someone...

    This has always been a fear of mine and my alters. I lost my parents at a young age. My father died in a fire and my mother died of a brain hemmorage. My grandpa passed away at a young age and my grandma just died recently. I am always afraid of someone I love dying, especially...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 21, 2012

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    I have had this disorder sense middle school

    (and I am now 22). Many people could never diagnoss my condition because I could never completely describe it nor did I trust others enough to describe all of it. The discovery was recently finally made when it was discovered the disorder has memory loss fragments of them to be...
    LiliumxoTears LiliumxoTears 22-25, M 3 Responses Mar 31

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    Its Anita, I am 29 DID,

    SRA very lonely don't know how to connect with people freezing where others are. Scared. want to share but not reallyknow how
    anitarende anitarende 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 1

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    Two Peas In A Pod

    For a long time in my life, I knew I shared my mind with someone else. It wasn't until my late teens that I was determined to actually be co-conscious. My experience with this 'disorder' has been so incredibly positive, I've gained a friend and a new outlook on life. In my mind...
    TheDreamQueen TheDreamQueen 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 24, 2013

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    Hmm well hello, my name is Melissa

    and I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, uhm and I'm not the main Alter of this body, and well because of that I dont have much time of my own, since I'm not a very important persona... But well I'm bored and mad at my brother, whose name is Jake (he's another alter), we're...
    fairyMelissa fairyMelissa 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 15

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    I Am Indirectly Telling People Whats Going On.

    There are 2 people who know about this...other personality/whatever it is of mine. I actually discovered that one of my close friends is skitzo....hes told me hes been being followed by...some kind of shadow man....this includes hallucinations.... So, i felt like there was a bit...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 16, 2012

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    i went to the hospital again.

    it was on February 14th. i was walking home and i got sexually assaulted. when i got home i was alone and aat there in silence for a bit before i broke down and cried. i black out after that and when i came to i was covered in blood. i had written "no" and "dont touch" all over...
    tallestshadow tallestshadow 22-25, T 1 Response Apr 1

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    Hm, May As Well Make A Post.

    Well, I figured I'd post something to get to know other people who live under similar-ish circumstances, and possibly make friends with them (well, I suppose that's a no brainer). I guess I'll tell you guys about, uh, my body's life? (I think that's the most appropriate way of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Mar 9, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I have three others. We all get along quite well. I have one male other, or "alter" and the remaining two are female. I have a feeling something happened very early in my childhood...
    iamlikewater iamlikewater 18-21, F Apr 9

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    My apologies but I am going to skip past all the intro bits. I am really struggling tonight. I have a part that i have pushed away for years. I have ignored her and squashed her...
    dreshany dreshany 36-40, F