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I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 656 People

    These past few days have been a blur.

    I'm constantly switching whenever I get stressed, which is almost every time and everyday. Some freshmen kid at my high school started a fight with me, I'm a junior, but I tried not fight but everyone around us was forcing me to. The kid hit me first when I wasn't looking, and...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M Sep 27

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    I'm questioning whether I have DID

    or not. Are there any other disorders that have separate personalities? I had two- Leah and Alan. Leah first openly appeared to me when I was 14, although I think she's been around a bit longer than that. Alan appeared around 16ish. He was an ***, he was horrible to both Leah...
    spreadsothin spreadsothin 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    My host husband asked me to have sex with him

    despite knowing it's me and not his wife. I felt disgusted!
    Shabee74 Shabee74 36-40, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    iMinnow iMinnow 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 5

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    Not Doing Well...8/6/13

    The part of me/us that thinks "She just needs to not exist," is active again. It's scary. This part wants me dead, because I'm the problem. I'm also fighting not to self-injure. This is all a very familiarly unpleasant place, but I thought we were doing better, here.
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 13 Responses Aug 6, 2013

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    Bad Day

    we are really struggling not to hurt ourself right now.we want to soooo badly. we won't.  we can't.  it's notallowed.  the protectors have a rule.  noone can harmthemselves, each other, or the body.  when the protectorsset a rule we all have to follow it whether we want to...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 3 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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    Some of us love our boyfriend

    and want to stay with him, but others have feelings for other people. This has happened before, but this time I am finally with the guy I was pining over for years, our first breakup in 2009 was likely a big trigger for the alters in the first place. We really didn't want to...
    JaaePlus JaaePlus 18-21 2 Responses Oct 21

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    I hate how blown up DID is in the media.

    I have it, it is no walk in the park... It's not easy... And no one should EVER wish to have it... But I am far from crazy. I just can't deal with things.
    iMinnow iMinnow 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 5

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    I have a whole playlist of songs

    that make me feel understood, these are the ones that focus on my DID... "Animal I have Become" Three Days Grace "Monster" Skillet "I am an Illusion" Rob Thomas "All These Years" Adema "Let Me Be Myself" 3 Doors Down "One X" Three Days Grace "Chameleon Boy" Blue October "Ugly...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 Aug 1

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    Ok, so I haven't been officially diagnosed with

    DID but this is the most active place for dissociative issues and I need some input. Hope I don't offend anyone. Thanks. Here goes: I've been drinking A LOT lately. Smoked weed, a lot of it. It was really good, but I did feel guilty at the same time only because I'm a nurse...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 12

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    Sometimes I Feel Possessed

    There are many times the people in my head are talking to me and in the middle of their sentence their words would continue out my mouth without me knowing what they were going to say. I know this sounds completely weird. I have lost all my outside friends because of this problem...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    My Inners/Alters Whatever...

    I am currently up to 6. My therapist says I am not DID, this p1ssed the kids off, so they made me forget appointments for a month. ...They basically thought she was saying they aren't real... ...I LIKE my "kids", whatever they are. They helped me survive.  They STILL help me...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 5 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    I dont even know haw many I actually have

    anymore. I thought it was just 8, and now i am hearing of more. It is stressing me out real bad, and I dont really have anyone to talk to about it. my parents dont want to hear it, i dont want to burden my friends or scare them. It is getting harder esp. with school and so many...
    lilbit33 lilbit33 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 20

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    Healthy Multiplicity

    I have a case of what I like to call extremely mild DID. Others call it "Healthy Multiplicity". Basically, it's a form of DID that isn't considered to be a disorder, but just a condition. It doesn't cause any problems for me, and I am actually really glad I have it. I just wish I...
    saltyshelley saltyshelley 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    We are trying. But everything is getting

    quite difficult quite fast. I don't know what to do. WE don't know what to do. Calypso (our host) keeps panicking and will switch, and then will fight to get his body back. So we'll switch maybe 5 times in a minute, which causes major headaches. I want to help Calypso, but I don...
    CNT283 CNT283 18-21, M 3 Responses Sep 24

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    Jaqueline's Story

     My name is Jaqueline. I am around 16 years old and havebeen for a very long time.  I am one of the vast manyin the system that goes here by Truth_Speaks.Recently, in emails, a very good friend of ours here onEP has been talking about feeling like things were herfault...
    TruthSpeaks71 TruthSpeaks71 41-45 7 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    New... I Am A Hotel-Head who just spent 2 hours retype what we accidentially deleted the first time!! LOL

    Hello to the Group! I'm "M", and I am a "Hotel-Head". This is a term the kids came up with to describe the number of people in here and the chaos that follows them. Some of ours "check out" (deal with the "real" world), while some seem to have "do not disturb" signs wielded to...
    MoriBlue MoriBlue 46-50 3 Responses May 30, 2013

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    Today Omega had an outburst.

    I don't blame him because the reason why he came out is, my chemistry teacher dropped down one letter grade for not putting the name, date, and period in order. She wanted: name, period, and date only. What a stupid reason for letting Omega out, I was just so angry that he took...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 3

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    well once again things have gone a bit overly

    complicated for me. I went to the hospital on the 24th of December got stitches in my arm the cut was really deep again. didn't get out till the 25th I walked home in the dark alone and then got back to the house. I'm in a new house again by the way. I don't know why I can't...
    tallestshadow tallestshadow 22-25, T 2 Responses Jan 12

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    My old therapist moved out of state.

    She really understood me and my alters and had spoken to most of them at least once. My new therapist? hes a skeptic. Joy. He insists that I'm delusional and a malingerer (someone who makes things up to get medical attention) now i really have nobody to talk to about it on a...
    dianadra dianadra 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 25

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    Follow my twitter cause I have no friends

    and should feel sorry for me D: @ShortPrincess19
    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 10

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    Don't Even Know Who I Am

    That is right, I don't even know who I am. Am I the host of this body or not? What is going on inside makes no sense to me. Our supposed host doesn't even know who she is so how are we supposed to know who we are or why? Nothing makes much sense no more. Confused and alone
    Rachel4now Rachel4now 31-35, F 20 Responses Feb 16, 2008

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    Have any of you ever had an alter start to

    remove other alters, or kill them to make themselves more prominent? To try to make it just the two of you? So they have more control...
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Talked about my mom in therapy today.

    My therapist came to the same conclusion that I had years ago...my mom is mildly schizophrenic. That's comforting. Not only does mental illness run in my family...but the worst of them do.
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 1 Response Oct 10

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    We have been working hard core on internal

    communication and cooperation lately and it has been helping but it is very stressful. The biggest stressor is knowing there are so many more people inside that I(the host) and those of us in front have no contact with and no access to. Our therapist estimates the number of us...
    mirrorhanyou mirrorhanyou 22-25, F Sep 23

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    The Mirror

    Every day I encountered the girl in the mirror with skepticism, but her smile was so inviting and her conversation so stimulating. She spoke as if she knew my intimate thoughts and desires but her face was not of mine. It was slightly different in an alluring kind of way. She had...
    KayTJewels KayTJewels 26-30 1 Response Jul 4, 2011

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    I NEED ADVICE! So when I first fragmented,

    I was mostly in control. I kept Sigma and Epsilon (the first two Alter's) in check. No one knew what was wrong with me, so that caused even more bullying from the other kids making things harder for me. Sometimes I switched and caused trouble when Sigma took control, and...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M a week ago

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    My system is a house.

    We all live in this house, with our own rooms (bedrooms) and communal rooms. Like the lounge room and library. We also have something like a prison, where the door only locks and opens from the outside, (its a nice rooom). There's also two studies and a council room. Our house...
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 10 Responses Sep 20

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    I remember the first time I didn't recognize

    myself in a "selfie" photograph.
    iMinnow iMinnow 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 6

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    After reading someones story about a rape the

    other night it got me thinking a little about my past. I laid in bed thinking about it and started to drift off to sleep. Suddenly my husband coughed right in my ear as he slept and it startled me so bad I went into a panic attack. I laid in bed blindly staring at the ceiling...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 Jul 26

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    Dating Someone With Dissociative Identity Disorder

      I am currently seeing someone with DID.The man I am seeing is wonderful!Lets call him Gavin.Gavin is happy-go-lucky, easy to talk to, understanding, optimistic, and so many more things…We have an amazing bond, unlike any I have ever shared with another human being...
    Neenie907 Neenie907 22-25, F 10 Responses Nov 4, 2009

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    Been not well. Have such intense feelings of

    disgust to the point where I want and need to just claw my skin off. It feels like I am going to go absolutely insane. I was driving with my boyfriend last night and started to get these emotions and feelings and body pains that seemingly came from 'nowhere'. I had to pull over...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 21

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    DID

    For years speaking about my disorder has been taboo but know its time to make a stand. I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) i have a system of 7 functioning personalities with their own thought process likes dislikes etc. Together we map out on how to get through one day...
    Pablo89 Pablo89 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    My Headmates

    I have DID. I have had this ever since I was eleven, and I don't know how to really explain them all, so I'll make a list (much like my alter egos. The sad thing about my alter egos is that they receded into their world [Yes, I have a world in my head. It's much like Wonderland...
    ManicAttack ManicAttack 18-21, F 7 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    I've had DID all my life,

    but disscovvered this last year through therapy. I have at least 8 alters but only know 6 of their names. I fully understand now why my life has Never normal. I am very glad to finally know and accept them. I do however need much support. Because I could not continue therapy...
    JanaMG JanaMG 61-65, F 4 Responses Jan 30

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    Anybody As Full As I Am? Lol

    Hello i am living with 19 alters...some good...some bad...and i really would like to talk to somebody else who has them...its really awkward for me to talk about this but i figure if im going to this is the best place to do so
    MissRabbit MissRabbit 22-25, F 12 Responses Mar 8, 2012

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    They Aren't The Problem, I Am

    I always envied how when something bad happens my fiancé asks to speak to my alters. It was never me. I could work things out if given the time. I just want to be given the chance to help. :( Sometimes I feel that no one wants me, like if I disappeared it'd be fine. They wouldn...
    Lexy5 Lexy5 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 19, 2012

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    Being DID and BiPolar feels like this to me.

    ..(I'm probably going to switch half-way through writing this, so bear with me) I live in this physical world that's just so-so and nothing fantastic ever happens, nothing exciting, everything just feels flat. I have my manic days or weeks where I feel ok and then ultra...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 1 Response Oct 2

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    Does anyone else live in,

    or has ever lived in an environment that doesn't support their illness? I'm trying my best to keep everything under control around my family but it's not working. I just keep getting more depressed and less functional. I don't know how to communicate with them in an effective...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 13

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    I'm not actually sure

    that I have this but I do know that I have issues with dissociation. I've been diagnosed with ADD and OCD but I've been dissociating in and out of life my whole life. I don't remember a lot of my past that I wish I could. It's hard wondering sometimes if there we're instances of...
    fiendforlife fiendforlife 31-35, M 1 Response Sep 3

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    About Me: Medi

    This is the first in a series of writings everybody in this body will participate in (assuming they go on EP at all). Its intent is to allow the reader to get to know each person in this body better, with information about the writer coming directly from the writer, thus avoiding...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 26, 2013

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    So yesterday during lunch at my high school,

    a freshman was acting all tough and ****, I ******* hate the freshmens this year, can't believe Alpha has to put up with this ****. Anyways, Alpha got his food from the lunch line and then the kid walked up to Alpha and started calling him weak and fat and a freak, (our secret...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 2 Responses Oct 16

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    LittleBeelzebub LittleBeelzebub 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 12

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    What to do with an alter who's personality

    changes like he has multiple personalities? He can be violent, conservative, respectful any personality you can imagine. But he's always himself, the insane though process is always there. He prepares for everything, every outcome... He's just a master of people...
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 2 Responses Oct 19

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    Did-nos-wtf

    Apparently I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified....The kids in my head are all like "We TOLD you so!" Well, they were right. ...I was reminded we may not have found everyone yet... That's a little ominous. Maybe that's where the intrusive thoughts come...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 2 Responses Jun 24, 2013

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    Can a person have this

    and still be aware of the 'personalities?' Can they sometimes run together?
    adianoeta adianoeta 26-30, F 4 Responses Oct 4

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    Hi, I'm Kyle, one of the alters.

    I just wanted to know if some of you alters already fell in love with "real" persons or if you hosts already fell in love with alters. I did, so I wanted to talk about this.
    SemperFilthy SemperFilthy 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 19

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    I met my first alter in 2011,

    her name is Jessica, soon followed Ellie, and 7 months ago, Ashleigh showed up. Last week, I realised that there are suddenly a lot more of us than I thought, and some of them have been around before, I just didn't notice! We switch at least 3 or 4 times a day, and not all of my...
    JaaePlus JaaePlus 18-21 Oct 20

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    From what I can tell this disorder,

    disease, adventure, experience (whatever you want to call it) is highly personalized. Everyone who is diagnosed has a very different experience. I think that really contributes to the confusion that most of the people with DID already live with. I'm just coming to realize that...
    annabanana1907 annabanana1907 18-21, F Feb 8

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    My Experience of a D.i.d (multilpe) Life

       I'm a 40 year old woman (but really I feel like a lot of much younger on inside) . Ive been aware of my system for 12 years .. I am poly multiple which means I keep splitting.  I have family groups within me but countless alters .I have Some (12 )well...
    thruthelookinglass thruthelookinglass 36-40, F 4 Responses May 17, 2009

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    With all these new 'atlers' I feel like I can't

    be sure whether one or more people are in control. We havent been made aware of any new names, only different personalities. At the moment, i'm sot even sure who I am.... AAaaand I just switched. Hello! Anyway, Today we were relatively productive. That's a big improvement!
    JaaePlus JaaePlus 18-21 a week ago

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    Relationships are never easy,

    never ever. was in one but she lives to far away, met someone else and she said we are overwelling. so back to the drawing board. finding some one that everyone gets a long with and likes is like hitting the lotto. but i think its time to stop looking it just won't happen...
    ddcross70 ddcross70 36-40, M a week ago

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    Two Peas In A Pod

    For a long time in my life, I knew I shared my mind with someone else. It wasn't until my late teens that I was determined to actually be co-conscious. My experience with this 'disorder' has been so incredibly positive, I've gained a friend and a new outlook on life. In my mind...
    TheDreamQueen TheDreamQueen 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 24, 2013

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