I Have Flashbacks of Awful Things

for years I have had flashbacks of awful things from my youth. A good portion of my life my family tried to get me to believe that these were imaginings from my warped brain as a child. Still there were things that did not fit...

Tired of it all..It seems like I'm perfectly fine but far from it. Battling this depression since childhood, flashbacks of horrible things fill my head constantly. I could be thinking of a egg sandwich and FLASH, FLASH, FLASH...Loss of...

I have been diagnosed with PTSD. This is not something that defines who I am.

Yes sometimes I do get flash backs and have vivid horrible nightmeres. I mostly try to ignore them and don't pay them credence because I feel if I dwell on...

A little over a year ago on Christmas Eve, my (ex) fiance and I were arguing, and he ended up beating me up, really bad, over the course of seven hours. Hitting me in the face and in the stomach, biting me, and so many horrible things...

I can't begin to tell you how hard this is. It hurts so bad and yeah i know its just a flashback and it is not really happening now. I just feel so awful and sad and hurt and dirty and shameful and oh I just wish I could really tell...

A lot of times I will suddenly get a flashback of what happened to me before. These things are usually sad and often the ones that left me crying and at my lowest. Mostly they are mistakes I made in judgment, decision-making (like lying...

I really hate when a scent sends me back to those moments I wish to forget. Unable to leave those moments in the past, They come from nowhere and I have no control to stop them. I just let them wash over me like the waves at the shore...

It's wierd for me...I'd be in my room reading, listening to music somewhere, or talking to a friend and then I just get these horrible flashbacks of my worst regrets and then I snap back into reality and I honestly hate it...but then...

They happen all the time...or if someone triggers a memory then they are there and it sucks.

i always have flash backs of bad things that happened while i was in school and of bad things that people have said to me and of things that i just want to forget. i hate it and it really gets to me, and i know that that is what is...

Thats what I am feeling.  I want to expose myself but my shame keeps me.  I know where I am is only a part of the process.  I know I have to write about all the different expericnes I have been through.  I want to expose that part...

i dunno what triggered it, but all of a sudden i felt cold and scared and shaky.  at least i was home and secure; i gave myself permission to let whatever wanted to come up and out do so.  it was horrible, a scene i havent...

I woke up several times last nite.  I was having waking dreams again.  The ones where you feel like you are still in the middle of it and takes awhile for you to figure out that .....that was long long ago. I also had more....it was...

Every day i have had a flashback about war.  I started having them right after i left Afghanistan Th first flash back i usually get is the one about the vehicle born improvised explosive device that hit my cop at 6:00 in the morning...

The day is going great. The clock is ticking as it should. My shift is nearly over. Then it happens! In walks someone from my past. Her parents & my parents were good friends. Her mom taught me in school. She was my mentor, the reason I...

I have always had this wierd flash that pops into my mind.  It's the same images.  It's like a memory but I don't remember it.  I remember the location when I was a kid.  I remember the house.  I remember the backyard and playing...

So, I've been through some stuff.... but who hasn't?
Plenty of people have seen and experienced things that where vile.
I thought i was done though.. I thought i was in the clear, been to therapy got that t-shirt all that shit.
It's...