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I Have Hilarious Drunk Stories

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 167 People

    My Name Is Adam, and I Am An Alcoholic!

    I have too many drunken stories to share with you all right here but I do however have my own website with loads of my drunken stories and I would be honored if you would allow me to regale you with epic tales of misadventure. Also I am always looking for fun people to get drunk...
    wwwDOTadamlovesfatgirlsDOTcom wwwDOTadamlovesfatgirlsDOTcom 22-25 Nov 4, 2008

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    Halloween Night At the Local Bar

    One Halloween a buddy of mine dressed up as a woman and then we went to the bar. After a couple of drinks we pretended to have a lovers quarrel and my buddy slammed his ring on the table and went and sat with a guy at the next table across from us - who was by him self...
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 2 Responses Feb 11, 2008

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    Saturday Night

    There were about 30 people there with a ton of beer and liquor. We got crazy drunk and nearly fought with two annoying ***** who kept flashing their boobs and flirting with everyone's boyfriends. One **** we promised a ride home and then drove off back to our house and she...
    DrinkstooMuch DrinkstooMuch 22-25 Oct 1, 2012

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    Cab From Florida to Michigan

    I once got so drunk in Florida I didn't think they would let me on the plane so I took a cab home...to Michigan! Its a long story and I really don't feel like retyping it. Its on a blog at www.alcoholichumor.com
    alcoholichumor alcoholichumor 46-50 Feb 1, 2009

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    Mexico

    One of our many, many trips to Mexico, my bf was so drunk that we had to put him in a grocery cart and push him  back across the border.  Another time, we went to "boy's town" and this one bar was advertising "the donkey show".  suggesting sex...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 4 Responses Feb 5, 2008

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    Hilarious Facts !!!!!

    few r funny.........few r crazy...few r dirty....few r sad..........let me start1) we, friends were drinking in my apartment....everybody was on high....started playing truth or dare with beer bottle...there was bet on that....i selected dare and as i didnt wanna loose, i kissed...
    destinyguy destinyguy 26-30, M 3 Responses Feb 13, 2011

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    I'm a Crazy Drinker Then Eater

    So, in my usual life, I do not eat much.  I love food, but love being thin more.  So, what happens is that when i drink, i EAT.  I eat like a crazed lunatic.  There are many, many stories of me and my drunken eating.  One that comes to mind is after an...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 5 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    I Have to Tell This Story, Bad Avatar Or Not

    My husband and i wake up, way hung over, on a saturday morning.  Horribly hungover... we look around and try to figure out exactly what happened the night before.  As we are sharing our stories, we notice that there is a dark red substance all over our white sheets...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 13 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Last Night

    So last night i was so drunk and i just wanted to pass out but i had to go home 1st so i get to my apartment door and the door is locked so i just sit in front of the door half passed out and my neighbor that i don't even know sees me and next thing i know my brother wakes me up...
    sexytime567 sexytime567 16-17 1 Response Sep 28, 2012

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    I Swear I Think This Was Made-up

      When I first moved-in with my trailer-mate I was having problems adjusting, which of course meant that I was getting very little sleep. For about a week I was going to lay down but staying wide awake or even snatching what might have amounted...
    Dormantdrakon Dormantdrakon 22-25, F May 12, 2009

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    The Boat

    I will go out and have some drinks from time to time, but it is very rare I drink to the point where it gets out of control. I do know a few people who don't have such great control of their drinking though. Debbie, a woman who lives in the same apartment complex as my friends...
    Grottisendsitback Grottisendsitback 18-21, M Nov 2, 2012

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    Oh What a Night!

    Before telling this story, I want everyone to know this is not a normal night for me.  I'm usually pretty tame. A few weeks ago, I went out with the girls for my cousin's 21st birthday to this little bar close to my place.  The night started off slow, but after a few...
    tasteofink tasteofink 26-30, F 4 Responses May 19, 2009

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    One Time

    One time we were soooo bombed, We went to a Mc Donalds and tried to Order Tacos LOL, and the funny part was we were actually serious we thought it was a taco joint LOL.
    siggy10 siggy10 31-35, M 3 Responses Oct 22, 2009

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    I Have A Few ...

    a short but funny one: After WAY too many pints at a pub, I walked (stumbled? staggered) home in bare feet because my shoes were killing me. once I got in the door, I kept telling myself I had to wash my feet before going to bed. For some reason, washing them in the sink, rather...
    beerchick beerchick 26-30, F 11 Responses Sep 29, 2012

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    I Have a Couple of Hilarious Drunk Stories.

    My first one might not sound so hilarious to some people but it has a happy ending. Once I was sitting at a table in a bar and one of my buddies had a bit too much to drink  so he excused him self to go to the washroom. He only made it as far as the next table and puked...
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 5 Responses Feb 4, 2008

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    A Funny Strange Not Funny Hilarious Drunk Story

    Hello! We know a lady who decided to move from Alberta to Vancouver Island a few years ago. She was having a hard time getting her things packed up as well as work a 10 hour day 7 days a week so her alcoholic father decided he would help. One day well she was at work he went...
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 2 Responses Mar 8, 2008

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    I Have No Shame

    This is from my blog. If you like this story you should check out my blog at brutallyhonest81.blogspot.com I’m sharing this story out of pure entertainment. I’m not proud of it. My husband seems to find this one of the funniest things I’ve ever told him. So, here we go...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Still Shuffling

    We live on the coast.  On new year's eve a couple of years ago, we had tons of friends down for new year's .  We all had houses on this island, and were all there to party for a week or so.  Most of these people, including a dixie chick!  haha not joking, were...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 1, 2008

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    Drunk People!

    Ok, so my friend just started calling me saying repeatedly for me to answer the door, so I let him in. Then he yawned... While doing this it made a slight growl sound... His next reaction was to shout out that he's a tiger, went on for 30 mins.... Wow... He's going to have such a...
    Libbythomas Libbythomas 13-15, F Oct 4, 2013

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    My Ride With the Banditos

    This is a good one.  My husband was in law school when we had our first child.  Most of our circle of friends were all his classmates.  About four months after I had the baby, the school had their annual "gathering" at a local bar.  Once a year...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 3 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Opps

    Hello! Once there was a guy at the local pub and he was being an annoying pig to a couple of ladies. He wouldn't take the advice to settle down so when he walked past me I tripped him and then said, hey look the ladies are laughing at you - I think they like you now...
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 1 Response Feb 8, 2008

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    Drunk Lovers and Lighters Don't Mix

      One night a few years ago, I chose to take a walk up to an abandoned graveyard that we had so I could do a Thank You Memorial. It was a nice night while the dogs were itching to have a run so slipping my supplies into my pocket, I started off. At this point...
    Dormantdrakon Dormantdrakon 22-25, F 2 Responses May 12, 2009

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    So I got drunk at a party

    and started dancing with a girl... One thing led to another and I ended up breaking a wall with my *** 😐
    catchphrasejones catchphrasejones 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 3

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    Uhg, the Things That Happen.

    I recall when much younger that it wasn't a big deal when one woke up after a sleep over with friends that you would all end up on the floor in a tangle of limbs. Now that I'm a little older and of course loving the life of being able to drink. I find it weird when I wake up...
    SkaterGuyReid SkaterGuyReid 16-18, M 2 Responses Apr 9, 2008

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    I Hate This Avatar,

    story will follow, once proper avatar is in place.  make that storIES
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 14 Responses Jan 22, 2008

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    My Funniest Blackout Story

    It was during my "euro trip" following graduation from high school. I went out drinking in bars for the first time with my uncle and brother in Finland during the 2010 World Cup. Obviously the bars were pretty crazy and we were hopping around drinking with lots of different...
    Seabass20 Seabass20 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 20, 2012

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    It's My Favourite Pastime!

    Apparently when I get drunk, making an arse of myself is like my fave hobby or something: I think I've done every drunken humuliating act except streaking that is known. But the one that most sticks out is the time I had a little more that I could handle, and my mate who I...
    IdleTraveller IdleTraveller 22-25, F 1 Response May 12, 2009

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    Broken Windows

    I wish i had a dollar for every time that we lost our keys and had to break a window to get into the house. 
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 28 Responses Feb 3, 2008

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    Young,dumb,full Of Rum

    A silly story from my youth. Drunk and not wanting to stumble and shuffle the long walk home,we 'borrowed' a clapped out old pushbike from a mates front yard. I'd say bicycle but this was an ancient rusty 'pushie' with absolutely no brakes. (can you see where this is going...
    rustyfrog rustyfrog 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 24, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I also go to literotica.com. They have some amazing stories and you can contact the writers directly.
    YoyoMamaLee YoyoMamaLee 41-45, F Mar 21

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    I am, really. Looking back, I see that I'm loyal to my good friends. I'm an excellent listener. I'm introspective, which leads me toward an ability for empathy. I've been through a...
    LysistratasWeakness2 LysistratasWeakness2 51-55, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I don't have to get drunk just a good buzz or tipsy and I get so freaking horny!
    expressingmyself expressingmyself 36-40, F 6 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    While at uni I was at a party and one of the lecturers was there. She was about 35 and I was 19, and we had a wonderful time at the party, and ended up kissing while we were...
    PinkyPinks PinkyPinks 31-35, F 5 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I don't even know how to start expressing my feelings... There are three guys I refused to go out with this week. I like two of them. Guy 1 wants to take me to a movie and eat...
    CastDownChloe CastDownChloe 22-25, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Since i've been young, my mother has always been drinking. It wasn't that much whilst i was younger but i wish i had not been have to do the things i did. I have multiple stories...
    Soldottern Soldottern 16-17, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Napa Anti-Renovation Specter By Paul Dale Roberts, HPI Esoteric Detective HPI (Hegelianism Paranormal Intelligence) International https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups...
    PaulDaleRoberts PaulDaleRoberts 51-55, M 13 hrs ago

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    Reading these stories lets me know I'm not alone. When I met my fiancé he was just getting out of a seven year relationship I thought it was odd that she moved out with 2 kids in...
    Walkedinblind Walkedinblind 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 10

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    Omfg I'm freakin dying of laughter. I think I'm hilarious on EP :')) and the funniest thing is when people get pissed off by my sarcasm X'D omfg I CANT BREATHE!!
    ILoveBearGryllz55 ILoveBearGryllz55 16-17, F Apr 5

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    Being drunk is fun. I am drunk right now in fact. It's not as fun as being high on other drugs--remember, alcohol is a drug--and you have to consume a lot of alcohol to get drunk...
    Qataram Qataram 36-40, M Apr 6

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    I feel like the biggest piece of scum on the planet. I was celebrating my friends 20th birthday and made the decision to drive around town drunk. I've driven buzzed before and felt...
    browniesnoops browniesnoops 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 31

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    Let me just admit.. I associate drinking with 'feeling better' emotionally. I got drunk last night and made a total ******* fool out of myself. I texted a friend I miss and told...
    freeebird freeebird 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 5

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    Nd I feel like ****.. Im an angry drunk that pukes lmfao but its worth it in the beginning.. Damn im dumb as hell in the end every time tho. I wish I could be comfortable sober. I...
    Jujubee45 Jujubee45 18-21, F Mar 20

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    So last night I went for a meal with friends and decided that I didn't want to go home at the reasonable hour everyone else did, this meant I went to another bar by myself (luckily...
    Daisy15951 Daisy15951 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 5

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    Let's just say live everyone else I'm not myself when I'm drunk I do stupid things again like every other drunk lol
    Maddya Maddya 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 10

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    I am on an amazing nyc vacation for the first night and my boyfriend got so drunk in the bar of our hotel room while I was in the shower. He was so drunk that three hours later he...
    thatgirlkay thatgirlkay 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    The other night I was sleeping at my friends house and because it was a public holiday so she didn't have work the next day so she decided to have like 7 glasses of wine and she...
    Myshelle13 Myshelle13 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 21

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    Last weekend I got drunk and was incredibly mean to by sweet boyfriend who I live with. I picked a fight with him when I blacked out and became belligerent. When he was yelling...
    SwedishGirl3 SwedishGirl3 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    Now I know why another word for drunk is 'legless'. I actually feel like I have no legs. Fun, yes? I've consumed almost a whole bottle of wine (not the usual for me) and have...
    GypsyMiss GypsyMiss 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 28

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    Ever scents I was little my mom has been a drunk, not all the time but occasionally. She's almost died when she was drunk and one time she got so wasted she broke her ankle and had...
    CazzieWillWin CazzieWillWin 18-21, F Apr 7

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    I am in an open relationship but I have this tendency to text other people (even girls) when I'm drunk. I get drunk I have the best freakiest sex ever! I release my inhabit ions...
    browneyedgirl10 browneyedgirl10 22-25, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    I'm thinking about suicide still, even right now when I'm at my happiest. It's actually hilarious when I really think about it.
    nepineph nepineph 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 29

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    always have.....and want my son to swear at a young age like i did and my cousin who started even younger then me! i wont hold anything back and encourage him to be the same way...
    ashgurl71 ashgurl71 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    Children is great, but whats even funnier is something that happened yesterday; So i was at this church thing yesterday and one of the foreign exchange students was there and we...
    anovasiangel anovasiangel 13-15, F Mar 30

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    my sister is awesome my sister is agreeable my sister is ambitious my sister is amusing my sister is brave my sister is bright my sister is calm my sister is charming my sister...
    fallenrach fallenrach 26-30 3 Responses Mar 31