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I Have Hilarious Drunk Stories

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 190 People

    Opps

    Hello! Once there was a guy at the local pub and he was being an annoying pig to a couple of ladies. He wouldn't take the advice to settle down so when he walked past me I tripped him and then said, hey look the ladies are laughing at you - I think they like you now...
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 1 Response Feb 8, 2008

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    Drunk Lovers and Lighters Don't Mix

      One night a few years ago, I chose to take a walk up to an abandoned graveyard that we had so I could do a Thank You Memorial. It was a nice night while the dogs were itching to have a run so slipping my supplies into my pocket, I started off. At this point...
    Dormantdrakon Dormantdrakon 22-25, F 2 Responses May 12, 2009

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    Broken Windows

    I wish i had a dollar for every time that we lost our keys and had to break a window to get into the house. 
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 28 Responses Feb 3, 2008

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    Halloween Night At the Local Bar

    One Halloween a buddy of mine dressed up as a woman and then we went to the bar. After a couple of drinks we pretended to have a lovers quarrel and my buddy slammed his ring on the table and went and sat with a guy at the next table across from us - who was by him self...
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 2 Responses Feb 11, 2008

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    Aaaahhh Alcohol

    My best friends are basically alcoholics and all the parties we go to get... interesting lol.  On my friend's birthday he got so wasted he almost fell into a pool and then later vomitted on his wife in the shower.  Then at my friends' wedding they got so wasted the...
    AmarisMignan AmarisMignan 13-15, F Jun 28, 2009

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    Young,dumb,full Of Rum

    A silly story from my youth. Drunk and not wanting to stumble and shuffle the long walk home,we 'borrowed' a clapped out old pushbike from a mates front yard. I'd say bicycle but this was an ancient rusty 'pushie' with absolutely no brakes. (can you see where this is going...
    rustyfrog rustyfrog 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 24, 2013

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    One time, my best friend got

    so drunk when we went out to a club that we ended up losing him. 2-3 hours later, he calls us drunk as heck saying that he was in Mexico. Seriously!!? MEXICO!! -_- (this is common for him to get drunk & wander off) so guess where me and all of our friends went to that night?? We...
    Sweetie899 Sweetie899 22-25, F 5 Responses Jun 19

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    A Funny Strange Not Funny Hilarious Drunk Story

    Hello! We know a lady who decided to move from Alberta to Vancouver Island a few years ago. She was having a hard time getting her things packed up as well as work a 10 hour day 7 days a week so her alcoholic father decided he would help. One day well she was at work he went...
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 2 Responses Mar 8, 2008

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    I Have a Couple of Hilarious Drunk Stories.

    My first one might not sound so hilarious to some people but it has a happy ending. Once I was sitting at a table in a bar and one of my buddies had a bit too much to drink  so he excused him self to go to the washroom. He only made it as far as the next table and puked...
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 5 Responses Feb 4, 2008

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    I Swear I Think This Was Made-up

      When I first moved-in with my trailer-mate I was having problems adjusting, which of course meant that I was getting very little sleep. For about a week I was going to lay down but staying wide awake or even snatching what might have amounted...
    Dormantdrakon Dormantdrakon 22-25, F May 12, 2009

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    I Hate This Avatar,

    story will follow, once proper avatar is in place.  make that storIES
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 14 Responses Jan 22, 2008

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    Cab From Florida to Michigan

    I once got so drunk in Florida I didn't think they would let me on the plane so I took a cab home...to Michigan! Its a long story and I really don't feel like retyping it. Its on a blog at www.alcoholichumor.com
    alcoholichumor alcoholichumor 46-50 Feb 1, 2009

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    I Have No Shame

    This is from my blog. If you like this story you should check out my blog at brutallyhonest81.blogspot.com I’m sharing this story out of pure entertainment. I’m not proud of it. My husband seems to find this one of the funniest things I’ve ever told him. So, here we go...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses May 14, 2012

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    One Time

    One time we were soooo bombed, We went to a Mc Donalds and tried to Order Tacos LOL, and the funny part was we were actually serious we thought it was a taco joint LOL.
    siggy10 siggy10 31-35, M 3 Responses Oct 22, 2009

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    My Ride With the Banditos

    This is a good one.  My husband was in law school when we had our first child.  Most of our circle of friends were all his classmates.  About four months after I had the baby, the school had their annual "gathering" at a local bar.  Once a year...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 3 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Last Night

    So last night i was so drunk and i just wanted to pass out but i had to go home 1st so i get to my apartment door and the door is locked so i just sit in front of the door half passed out and my neighbor that i don't even know sees me and next thing i know my brother wakes me up...
    sexytime567 sexytime567 16-17 1 Response Sep 28, 2012

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    It's My Favourite Pastime!

    Apparently when I get drunk, making an arse of myself is like my fave hobby or something: I think I've done every drunken humuliating act except streaking that is known. But the one that most sticks out is the time I had a little more that I could handle, and my mate who I...
    IdleTraveller IdleTraveller 22-25, F 1 Response May 12, 2009

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    My Funniest Blackout Story

    It was during my "euro trip" following graduation from high school. I went out drinking in bars for the first time with my uncle and brother in Finland during the 2010 World Cup. Obviously the bars were pretty crazy and we were hopping around drinking with lots of different...
    Seabass20 Seabass20 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 20, 2012

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    Happy Drunks

    My cousin and I are happy drunks. We believe that - in our entire family - we are unique in that we actually genuinely enjoy each others' company. No bitchiness, no back-stabbing and no continual attempts to put each other down. Of course, if one of us somehow gets hurt, the...
    TheNakedPoet TheNakedPoet 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 26, 2012

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    So I got drunk at a party

    and started dancing with a girl... One thing led to another and I ended up breaking a wall with my *** 😐
    catchphrasejones catchphrasejones 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 3

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    My first time drinkin was last month,

    i had one and couldn't stop. But luckily my brother tool away my 9th beer, as i reached for my 9th beer in the cooler. I began to flip forward over a cooler land straight on my back in laughter, while my mom and other drunks are laughing at me...a story not to forget.
    Nifftymittens97 Nifftymittens97 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 24

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    I'm a Crazy Drinker Then Eater

    So, in my usual life, I do not eat much.  I love food, but love being thin more.  So, what happens is that when i drink, i EAT.  I eat like a crazed lunatic.  There are many, many stories of me and my drunken eating.  One that comes to mind is after an...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 5 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    The Boat

    I will go out and have some drinks from time to time, but it is very rare I drink to the point where it gets out of control. I do know a few people who don't have such great control of their drinking though. Debbie, a woman who lives in the same apartment complex as my friends...
    Grottisendsitback Grottisendsitback 18-21, M Nov 2, 2012

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    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Feb 25, 2010

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    Uhg, the Things That Happen.

    I recall when much younger that it wasn't a big deal when one woke up after a sleep over with friends that you would all end up on the floor in a tangle of limbs. Now that I'm a little older and of course loving the life of being able to drink. I find it weird when I wake up...
    SkaterGuyReid SkaterGuyReid 16-18, M 2 Responses Apr 9, 2008

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    I Have to Tell This Story, Bad Avatar Or Not

    My husband and i wake up, way hung over, on a saturday morning.  Horribly hungover... we look around and try to figure out exactly what happened the night before.  As we are sharing our stories, we notice that there is a dark red substance all over our white sheets...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 13 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    My Name Is Adam, and I Am An Alcoholic!

    I have too many drunken stories to share with you all right here but I do however have my own website with loads of my drunken stories and I would be honored if you would allow me to regale you with epic tales of misadventure. Also I am always looking for fun people to get drunk...
    wwwDOTadamlovesfatgirlsDOTcom wwwDOTadamlovesfatgirlsDOTcom 22-25 Nov 4, 2008

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    Hilarious Facts !!!!!

    few r funny.........few r crazy...few r dirty....few r sad..........let me start1) we, friends were drinking in my apartment....everybody was on high....started playing truth or dare with beer bottle...there was bet on that....i selected dare and as i didnt wanna loose, i kissed...
    destinyguy destinyguy 26-30, M 3 Responses Feb 13, 2011

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    Still Shuffling

    We live on the coast.  On new year's eve a couple of years ago, we had tons of friends down for new year's .  We all had houses on this island, and were all there to party for a week or so.  Most of these people, including a dixie chick!  haha not joking, were...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 1, 2008

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    Saturday Night

    There were about 30 people there with a ton of beer and liquor. We got crazy drunk and nearly fought with two annoying ***** who kept flashing their boobs and flirting with everyone's boyfriends. One **** we promised a ride home and then drove off back to our house and she...
    DrinkstooMuch DrinkstooMuch 22-25 Oct 1, 2012

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    Mistaken

    My family and I were on vacation with my boyfriend when we checked into the hotel. My boyfriend and I had one room and my parents and sister had the other one. My boyfriend and I decided to make love that night, so i went down to my parents room to tell them we were going to...
    QueenNicole QueenNicole 18-21, F 7 Responses Jul 19, 2010

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    I Use To Drink

    i remember years ago . going out an partying. i drink several beers an several mix drinks. i would go to bed my head would spin in all directions. i would lay there until i knock out..lol
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 26, 2012

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    Drunk People!

    Ok, so my friend just started calling me saying repeatedly for me to answer the door, so I let him in. Then he yawned... While doing this it made a slight growl sound... His next reaction was to shout out that he's a tiger, went on for 30 mins.... Wow... He's going to have such a...
    Libbythomas Libbythomas 13-15, F Oct 4, 2013

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    Mexico

    One of our many, many trips to Mexico, my bf was so drunk that we had to put him in a grocery cart and push him  back across the border.  Another time, we went to "boy's town" and this one bar was advertising "the donkey show".  suggesting sex...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar 46-50, F 4 Responses Feb 5, 2008

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    I Have A Few ...

    a short but funny one: After WAY too many pints at a pub, I walked (stumbled? staggered) home in bare feet because my shoes were killing me. once I got in the door, I kept telling myself I had to wash my feet before going to bed. For some reason, washing them in the sink, rather...
    beerchick beerchick 26-30, F 12 Responses Sep 29, 2012

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    Oh What a Night!

    Before telling this story, I want everyone to know this is not a normal night for me.  I'm usually pretty tame. A few weeks ago, I went out with the girls for my cousin's 21st birthday to this little bar close to my place.  The night started off slow, but after a few...
    tasteofink tasteofink 26-30, F 4 Responses May 19, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    Okay so this story isn't that scary but it was wene it happens to me .1 year ago when I was 12 we started to rent this house, it was my moms friends house so anything we needed to...
    thebestpersoneva thebestpersoneva 22-25, M 5 days ago

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    So I have this guy friend I have been friends with for 4 years, I mean I always thought he was cute and stuff and he thought the same of me but I just never wanted to go further...
    Jic195 Jic195 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 20

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    Remeber when I said my mom had a vodka bottle bout maybe 2 1/2 inches tall And I said I wanted to try it we'll I opened it smelled it and it smelled amazing I haven't drunking it...
    imnotthatspecia imnotthatspecia 13-15, F Jul 19

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    I woke up 1 hour late to work and ran to my car all ratchet and went inside and I was wearing my robe and I thought it was a jacket so I took it off and I was in my bra and panties...
    Jennifer1221 Jennifer1221 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 15

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    I am currently reading a book about controlling parents and how to deal with the past. It is helping, but I am emotionally stuck. Part of me feels that I am being over dramatic...
    Bekka311 Bekka311 22-25, F 3 hrs ago

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    My boyfriends three yr old daughter hits me, repeatedly tells me she doesn't want me there, has tantrums and starts to cry every time I'm near her. She has swore at me, will make...
    porcellina porcellina 31-35, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    You beat my mother up whilst she was pregnant with me & screamed that you didn't want a baby. I was born on the 5th of February 1994 and for a second, you had changed your mind. So...
    EBAAA EBAAA 18-21, F 1 Response 16 hrs ago

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    July 29, 1958 On this day in 1958, the U.S. Congress passes legislation establishing the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), a civilian agency responsible for...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 10 hrs ago

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    I lost myself in the chaos that is my life I'm forever drowning inside Gasping for air Wishing I could make things right Demons have resided in my mind Playing tricks on the human...
    xchelseydawnx xchelseydawnx 22-25, F 9 hrs ago

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    I finally met the love of my life (and yes, it was on www.cougarkissing.com). We met each other on this site about 2 months ago, I sent a wink to her and she replied to me. After...
    Anthonydu Anthonydu 26-30, F 18 hrs ago

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    Why do people keep reporting my stories... This is the only way I can share what I go through with anyone :(
    gracieee1997 gracieee1997 18-21, F 2 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    I feel really bad that my children don't have a father. He and I were married for ten years before we had children. He was a recovering addict/alcoholic and had been sober for...
    glitterdahlia glitterdahlia 41-45 2 Responses Jun 29

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    One time I was sitting by myself thinking about how awesomely hilarious I am, but I had no one around. It was a wasted funny moment. Sometimes funny can be sad too. But then I...
    heibel75 heibel75 36-40, F Jul 20

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    I've never fit in. And I'm okay with that. I remember my best friend telling me that when she turns 18, she is going to get extremely drunk on her birthday. I begged her not to but...
    WintersSoldier WintersSoldier 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 5

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    I have never been drunk and kind of want to. I have drank alcohol, but never enough to get drunk. I think I almost got tipsy once! But that's it. My boyfriend wants me to get drunk...
    sweetsydchris sweetsydchris 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 6

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