I Have Hilarious Drunk Stories

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 210 People

    Broken Windows

    I wish i had a dollar for every time that we lost our keys and had to break a window to get into the house. 
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar
    46-50, F
    28 Responses Feb 3, 2008

    It's My Favourite Pastime!

    Apparently when I get drunk, making an arse of myself is like my fave hobby or something: I think I've done every drunken humuliating act except streaking that is known. But the one that most sticks out is the time I had a little more that I could handle, and my mate who I...
    IdleTraveller IdleTraveller
    22-25, F
    1 Response May 12, 2009

    Still Shuffling

    We live on the coast.  On new year's eve a couple of years ago, we had tons of friends down for new year's .  We all had houses on this island, and were all there to party for a week or so.  Most of these people, including a dixie chick!  haha not joking, were...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar
    46-50, F
    1 Response Feb 1, 2008

    Uhg, the Things That Happen.

    I recall when much younger that it wasn't a big deal when one woke up after a sleep over with friends that you would all end up on the floor in a tangle of limbs. Now that I'm a little older and of course loving the life of being able to drink. I find it weird when I wake up...
    SkaterGuyReid SkaterGuyReid
    16-17, M
    2 Responses Apr 9, 2008

    Young,dumb,full Of Rum

    A silly story from my youth. Drunk and not wanting to stumble and shuffle the long walk home,we 'borrowed' a clapped out old pushbike from a mates front yard. I'd say bicycle but this was an ancient rusty 'pushie' with absolutely no brakes. (can you see where this is going...
    rustyfrog rustyfrog
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jan 24, 2013

    I Hate This Avatar,

    story will follow, once proper avatar is in place.  make that storIES
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar
    46-50, F
    14 Responses Jan 22, 2008

    The Boat

    I will go out and have some drinks from time to time, but it is very rare I drink to the point where it gets out of control. I do know a few people who don't have such great control of their drinking though. Debbie, a woman who lives in the same apartment complex as my friends...
    Grottisendsitback Grottisendsitback
    22-25, M
    Nov 2, 2012

    I have cursed with throwing up.

    I once puked in a plastic bag and i was high, so I put the plastic bag on the roof right out of the window.. Next morning i have spent 1 hour to figure out what i did last night. When i remember and i look out of the window, and the plastic bag was gone. I found it 30 mins later...
    strongatheist strongatheist
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 15, 2015

    My Name Is Adam, and I Am An Alcoholic!

    I have too many drunken stories to share with you all right here but I do however have my own website with loads of my drunken stories and I would be honored if you would allow me to regale you with epic tales of misadventure. Also I am always looking for fun people to get drunk...
    wwwDOTadamlovesfatgirlsDOTcom wwwDOTadamlovesfatgirlsDOTcom
    Nov 4, 2008


    Hello! Once there was a guy at the local pub and he was being an annoying pig to a couple of ladies. He wouldn't take the advice to settle down so when he walked past me I tripped him and then said, hey look the ladies are laughing at you - I think they like you now...
    Nanoose Nanoose
    56-60, M
    1 Response Feb 8, 2008

    One time I was hugging a man,

    who I thought was my father.... was the congressman of the United States... -.-
    montanagonewrongx3 montanagonewrongx3
    18-21, F
    Nov 21, 2014

    I Use To Drink

    i remember years ago . going out an partying. i drink several beers an several mix drinks. i would go to bed my head would spin in all directions. i would lay there until i knock out..lol
    deleted deleted
    Aug 26, 2012

    My Funniest Blackout Story

    It was during my "euro trip" following graduation from high school. I went out drinking in bars for the first time with my uncle and brother in Finland during the 2010 World Cup. Obviously the bars were pretty crazy and we were hopping around drinking with lots of different...
    Seabass20 Seabass20
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Aug 20, 2012

    Halloween Night At the Local Bar

    One Halloween a buddy of mine dressed up as a woman and then we went to the bar. After a couple of drinks we pretended to have a lovers quarrel and my buddy slammed his ring on the table and went and sat with a guy at the next table across from us - who was by him self...
    Nanoose Nanoose
    56-60, M
    2 Responses Feb 11, 2008

    I Have to Tell This Story, Bad Avatar Or Not

    My husband and i wake up, way hung over, on a saturday morning.  Horribly hungover... we look around and try to figure out exactly what happened the night before.  As we are sharing our stories, we notice that there is a dark red substance all over our white sheets...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar
    46-50, F
    12 Responses Feb 1, 2008

    My first time drinkin was last month,

    i had one and couldn't stop. But luckily my brother tool away my 9th beer, as i reached for my 9th beer in the cooler. I began to flip forward over a cooler land straight on my back in laughter, while my mom and other drunks are laughing at me...a story not to forget.
    Nifftymittens97 Nifftymittens97
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jun 24, 2014

    I Have A Few ...

    a short but funny one: After WAY too many pints at a pub, I walked (stumbled? staggered) home in bare feet because my shoes were killing me. once I got in the door, I kept telling myself I had to wash my feet before going to bed. For some reason, washing them in the sink, rather...
    beerchick beerchick
    26-30, F
    12 Responses Sep 29, 2012

    A Funny Strange Not Funny Hilarious Drunk Story

    Hello! We know a lady who decided to move from Alberta to Vancouver Island a few years ago. She was having a hard time getting her things packed up as well as work a 10 hour day 7 days a week so her alcoholic father decided he would help. One day well she was at work he went...
    Nanoose Nanoose
    56-60, M
    2 Responses Mar 8, 2008

    My Ride With the Banditos

    This is a good one.  My husband was in law school when we had our first child.  Most of our circle of friends were all his classmates.  About four months after I had the baby, the school had their annual "gathering" at a local bar.  Once a year...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Feb 1, 2008

    Last night I was at a friends 18th

    and I stupidly decided to mix drinks...2 hours later (still able to walk properly) we decided to walk to the beach...I was unable to even stand by the time we actually got to the beach haha I kept falling on my face XD and on the walk back to the house I fell over 6 times and...
    fewersafe fewersafe
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 8, 2014


    My family and I were on vacation with my boyfriend when we checked into the hotel. My boyfriend and I had one room and my parents and sister had the other one. My boyfriend and I decided to make love that night, so i went down to my parents room to tell them we were going to...
    QueenNicole QueenNicole
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Jul 19, 2010

    One Time

    One time we were soooo bombed, We went to a Mc Donalds and tried to Order Tacos LOL, and the funny part was we were actually serious we thought it was a taco joint LOL.
    siggy10 siggy10
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Oct 22, 2009

    Last Night

    So last night i was so drunk and i just wanted to pass out but i had to go home 1st so i get to my apartment door and the door is locked so i just sit in front of the door half passed out and my neighbor that i don't even know sees me and next thing i know my brother wakes me up...
    sexytime567 sexytime567
    Sep 28, 2012

    Drunk People!

    Ok, so my friend just started calling me saying repeatedly for me to answer the door, so I let him in. Then he yawned... While doing this it made a slight growl sound... His next reaction was to shout out that he's a tiger, went on for 30 mins.... Wow... He's going to have such a...
    Libbythomas Libbythomas
    16-17, F
    Oct 4, 2013


    One of our many, many trips to Mexico, my bf was so drunk that we had to put him in a grocery cart and push him  back across the border.  Another time, we went to "boy's town" and this one bar was advertising "the donkey show".  suggesting sex...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Feb 5, 2008

    I Have No Shame

    This is from my blog. If you like this story you should check out my blog at brutallyhonest81.blogspot.com I’m sharing this story out of pure entertainment. I’m not proud of it. My husband seems to find this one of the funniest things I’ve ever told him. So, here we go...
    deleted deleted
    4 Responses May 14, 2012

    So I got drunk at a party

    and started dancing with a girl... One thing led to another and I ended up breaking a wall with my *** 😐
    catchphrasejones catchphrasejones
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 3, 2014

    I Have a Couple of Hilarious Drunk Stories.

    My first one might not sound so hilarious to some people but it has a happy ending. Once I was sitting at a table in a bar and one of my buddies had a bit too much to drink  so he excused him self to go to the washroom. He only made it as far as the next table and puked...
    Nanoose Nanoose
    56-60, M
    4 Responses Feb 4, 2008

    Happy Drunks

    My cousin and I are happy drunks. We believe that - in our entire family - we are unique in that we actually genuinely enjoy each others' company. No bitchiness, no back-stabbing and no continual attempts to put each other down. Of course, if one of us somehow gets hurt, the...
    TheNakedPoet TheNakedPoet
    41-45, M
    Jan 26, 2012

    Oh What a Night!

    Before telling this story, I want everyone to know this is not a normal night for me.  I'm usually pretty tame. A few weeks ago, I went out with the girls for my cousin's 21st birthday to this little bar close to my place.  The night started off slow, but after a few...
    tasteofink tasteofink
    26-30, F
    4 Responses May 19, 2009

    Aaaahhh Alcohol

    My best friends are basically alcoholics and all the parties we go to get... interesting lol.  On my friend's birthday he got so wasted he almost fell into a pool and then later vomitted on his wife in the shower.  Then at my friends' wedding they got so wasted the...
    AmarisMignan AmarisMignan
    13-15, F
    Jun 28, 2009

    Cab From Florida to Michigan

    I once got so drunk in Florida I didn't think they would let me on the plane so I took a cab home...to Michigan! Its a long story and I really don't feel like retyping it. Its on a blog at www.alcoholichumor.com
    alcoholichumor alcoholichumor
    Feb 1, 2009
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Feb 25, 2010

    I'm a Crazy Drinker Then Eater

    So, in my usual life, I do not eat much.  I love food, but love being thin more.  So, what happens is that when i drink, i EAT.  I eat like a crazed lunatic.  There are many, many stories of me and my drunken eating.  One that comes to mind is after an...
    FiFiDelmar FiFiDelmar
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Feb 1, 2008

    Saturday Night

    There were about 30 people there with a ton of beer and liquor. We got crazy drunk and nearly fought with two annoying ***** who kept flashing their boobs and flirting with everyone's boyfriends. One **** we promised a ride home and then drove off back to our house and she...
    DrinkstooMuch DrinkstooMuch
    Oct 1, 2012

    Related Experiences

    I have gotten drunk with them. I went to hooters with them ( my parents hate the restaurant but we would go anyway and see if they would find out lol) one time hooters wouldn't let...
    Niceguy890 Niceguy890
    26-30, M
    6 days ago
    Last Ep update ever! It's been hilarious at times! Anyone with kick keep in touch? Username= Kevcarro, farewell!
    Carrom22 Carrom22
    22-25, M
    a week ago
    I'll write stories if people like them.
    Elaine4les Elaine4les
    22-25, F
    Apr 20
    I've already deleted my photo albums. I am going to start taking down my stories now. It is kind of sad really. It feels more like I am erasing bits and pieces of me.
    justnicky justnicky
    36-40, F
    7 Responses Apr 19
    And that is to rant and ramble. Less than two weeks ago, I was at 297 stories. A friend asked me if I wanted to try for 400 before the end of EP. Today, I'm at 391 stories, and...
    VioletVivid VioletVivid
    1 Response Apr 18
    SOME people on here - no, not ME! Pay attention!😤 Some people post the same two or three stories, with or without minor editing, over and over and over and over and over and...
    BSTisapain BSTisapain
    46-50, F
    Apr 18
    My mother does it all the time when we're around family and they drink alcohol. This annoying ***** sits and pretends like she's oh so drunk, then she'll keep interrupting people's...
    FutureVet2014 FutureVet2014
    18-21, F
    Apr 18
    Not all Irish ppl are drunk and not all them swear...
    Dessily Dessily
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Apr 17
    More than once of course lol. But yesterday I puked for the first time Ina couple years. Got a little too drunk at a barbecue--ended up puking on the grass in front of a bunch of...
    RileyPancake RileyPancake
    18-21, M
    Apr 17
    I noticed something not so good about EP and that is how people get their stories taken down by EPAllie, which are not even bad stories. This happened to me a few times where if I...
    Tagstar2000 Tagstar2000
    13-15, M
    3 Responses Apr 17
    Once. it was at a party. I was drunk and high. and someone offered me a bump of what I thought was Vicodin (I was in one of those **** life moods) and so I partook. never again. I...
    DoxOdd DoxOdd
    18-21, M
    Apr 16
    Am really going to miss this place, I have read some interesting, sad, messed up stories during my time here but I enjoy most of them in one way or another. I am a very curious...
    deleted deleted
    Apr 16
    I have written stories before and I am currently writing three stories now.
    nerdyfreak nerdyfreak
    13-15, F
    Apr 16
    For those that have been betrayed, I want to leave stories in the archives that they might find helpful should they stumble across this site. Is your spouse's cheating your fault...
    kpitup kpitup
    56-60, F
    1 Response Apr 13
    For those that have been betrayed, I want to leave stories in the archives that they might find helpful should they stumble across this site. Is your spouse's cheating your fault...
    kpitup kpitup
    56-60, F
    Apr 13
    LETTING NO I had realized long ago, that it was over. And as days passed, I vowed to let go. After a month, you were still here. After two, my pain and suffering ruled. With...
    Luke5150 Luke5150
    36-40, M
    Apr 13
    Reminds me of my stepfather who would abuse me in way I don't like so I told myself I'll never be with a drunk or a man that has goatee /beard or a lot of facial hair is a turn off...
    LucidxxShivery LucidxxShivery
    26-30, F
    Apr 12
    So I see people are trying to post more experiences and let more things off their chest and telling their stories before EP closes. So I decided, hey, I might as well join the...
    jaeger053 jaeger053
    1 Response Apr 12
    I am the sort that may creep through your stories... all the ones dating to years back. Why? Because they move me. Because I see something in them that I can relate to. Because...
    VioletVivid VioletVivid
    2 Responses Apr 12
    I worry about weird things sometimes. I met a woman here about 3 weeks ago and had a handful of pleasant conversations. The last one though was bout how she had just...
    Some1umayNo Some1umayNo
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Apr 12
    HI all, I am here to get answer, I do not want to believe that i am just going crazy. There has been a lot of events that I just can't explain. here are a few of them: 1.during my...
    kroleen kroleen
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 11
    secretly want to get my friend drunk so i could convince her to be naughty with me.
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Apr 11
    I suppose this is where I can speak freely, not revealing my identity. Honestly, writing about my life, a stupid, sob story, I feel skeptical about it. Not knowing if anyone cares...
    Aselfconsciousturtle Aselfconsciousturtle
    13-15, F
    Apr 10
    its soo hilarious for me when I have to repeat my self or explain to people what certain phrases mean when I talk to foreign people they get shocked and always say hey your an...
    Haze94 Haze94
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 10
    Why do I have to rise my mom. She never raised me. She was never there for me. Some how I have to make sure she is fine. She pissed me off even more that same came to me drunk and...
    deleted deleted
    Apr 9
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