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I Have Let Myself Down

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 177 People

    I Have...and I Will Build Myself Up - I have let myself down I am nothing like I use to be. I was vibrant, sexy, and full of life. I miss that..I decided I am going to work for it...
    MiseducatedChik MiseducatedChik 26-30, F Apr 11, 2008

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    Actually... - I let myself go. Physically. It's a long boring story, but that's the gist. I'm finally doing something about it, though. After many, many years of beating...
    LostRach LostRach 26-30, F Feb 8, 2008

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    I started off strong when i told him i wasnt going to let him make me do things without there being something between us first. I kept it up for 1-2 days an then i cracked and did...
    ThisChica ThisChica 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 23

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    I Use to Be... - ...the person who everyone looked up to.  I was self-sufficient, independent, and didn't have a care in the world.  If someone was doing me wrong, I...
    QueenD QueenD 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 2, 2008

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    I just hate myself so so much.wish I could beat my dark side soon."There are those who say fate is something beyond our command. That destiny is not...
    Iskskskdjjzzjjxjxjx Iskskskdjjzzjjxjxjx 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 3

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    Related Experiences

    Now I've always been big, but lately I've gotten so much bigger. I met up with a friend I had in elementary school whom I haven't seen since I was in second grade (9 years ago). We...
    ImNotAFake ImNotAFake 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 30

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    I miss him so much but I can't let myself see him because I just barely started feeling like life will go on without him.
    Chrisyawilliams Chrisyawilliams 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    I've let so many people down in just one day. I let down my mum, my friend that needed me for her beauty exam, I've let down my head of year, I've let down my teachers, I've let...
    venetiaroses venetiaroses 13-15, F Apr 2

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    I live with a haunting guilt that I cannot dig out from under. I live it everyday, everynight , in my sleep and my nightmares . I have hurt the ones closest to me down.
    atcjwc atcjwc 36-40, M Mar 23

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    I've done it many times when I can't sleep. And when I can't sleep it means I think so many things. So many things about the future, the present, my mistakes. And then, I just cry...
    Kitzami Kitzami 13-15, M Mar 21

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    All of you . . .my few true kindred . . my family . . even my psychiatrist I would like to have been a better person even for him . . . I cant bear the half-life of emotional...
    dispossessed dispossessed 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    And I am going to do it again tonight.. Letting it all out.. Hopefully I'll have a good night sleep.. then feel better by morning 😉
    TearfulNights22 TearfulNights22 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 3

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    I'm not gonna lie. I have thrown up. Multiple times. I'm not proud of it. But. I do. It's been 2 days since I last tried. I think about it often. Yesterday I was in the bathroom. I...
    Diana14R Diana14R 18-21, F a week ago

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    My life has forever changed from the past 2 years. I am no longer myself! Who used to just live in today and not worry about anything. Now I have become this hard rock. Someone who...
    endlesslyyyforever endlesslyyyforever 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 17

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    I don't even know how or why it happend and I guess it dosent't even matter anymore. I was so blinded by the depression and anxiety,all the lonelyness and desperation just drove me...
    NARS1 NARS1 16-17 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I'm totally fed up right now. I don't have anyone. My only friend hates me for no reason. I am sick of everything. I'm constantly bullied, I get called ugly and fat and stupid all...
    breannainreverse breannainreverse 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 22

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    (Kyle= my 4 year old little brother.) Kyle: Sissy why do you have those marks on your arm? Me: Well Bubs....um, I have these little mean monsters who hurt me on the inside, but...
    TealMarie TealMarie 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    I so wish some of my past attempts were successful although I have a lot in life I still think bout it a lot. I have to much now to do anything so now I'm stuck alive. I love life...
    Abb50 Abb50 18-21, F Apr 3

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    as a teen boy, I assume that this may be normal... but sometimes I just feel like I don´t want to go on with this comedy. My dad left, my uncles left, my grandmother left, my mom...
    jsabina11 jsabina11 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 4

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    Ok so. I haven't told anyone that I cut but I don't do it a lot. Maybe once a mouth but I've never told anyone. And I don't think that any one knows. But I just really have to get...
    Awkward0Turtle Awkward0Turtle 13-15 a week ago

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    I was depressed all the time a mother of toe and one on the way I felt lost I had a home And husband a car a boat a family.. No reason I know now to be depressed I lost my 7 month...
    laceykight laceykight 26-30, F 2 days ago

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    It's hard living in a non-supportive family,they never support me in what I do,and they don't know that they are the only people I count on because I'm not counting on my friends...
    Mary0710 Mary0710 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    I did my best not to make promises Turned out it was you I could not keep
    dispossessed dispossessed 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 3

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    when everyone looks to you who do you look at ? I look at God.... but yet I feel like he is getting me ready for a new test.... that I can only hope to pass
    englishbbv englishbbv 22-25, F 6 days ago

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    I'll get over it...i always do:(
    owlabyss owlabyss 13-15, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    I don't get excited for anything anymore- even things I am looking forward too. Don't know where my enthusiasm has gone. Maybe I'll just pretend and it will become real.
    dubdvl dubdvl 31-35, M Mar 23

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    it only happens on certain days. As corny as it sounds its normally because of a missing my tbdl mom in one way or another or b wanting a real tbdl life not just online. u other...
    jaxianrhyder jaxianrhyder 18-21, T Apr 1

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    For some reason, the physical pain is more comforting than emotional pain.
    deathismysoulmate deathismysoulmate 18-21 2 days ago

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    I have overcome Schizophrenia!!! Who the SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED.....From the moment I fell when I was 19----The voices told me that I sold my soul! I was redeemed! I had just...
    Jesusfoundme Jesusfoundme 31-35, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I've only been on EP for three days, and it's already helping me with my ongoing battle with depression. Or rather, it's helping me to help myself. I'm the kind of person who...
    xeian xeian 26-30, F 2 days ago

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    Things get good and then things get bad. It feels like I can't do anything when it gets bad. Yet it seems I am at fault because its basically me not handling something well enough...
    searchingfar searchingfar 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 17

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    Every guy I have ever liked in my entire life has either not felt the same way as me, has ended up being a total jerk, has used me, forgotten me, hurt me, or has simply tossed me...
    Sapphire14 Sapphire14 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 1

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    Well, if you want to get technical, I still am. I'm still in and out of a few of the shelters in my area. However, I know this is a temporary situation that was meant to teach me...
    Mariposa85 Mariposa85 26-30, F a week ago

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    I'm in love with someone I know I can't have, and I've never felt so confused and alone. My story begins three years ago- I was an underclassman in high school when I fell very ill...
    lalarose lalarose 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I spent a lot of time searching for affection in shallow places , i gave people bits of me they didn't deserve and I let myself be hurt because I thought that's what I deserved...
    neckd33p neckd33p 16-17, F 10 hrs ago

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    He pulls me in with his eyes and funny expressions. I can't help but laugh when he makes ridiculous jokes. When he utters my thoughts out loud, I feel the terror of admiring...
    Jesticles Jesticles 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 18

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    My biggest problem right now is not knowing how to handle the most basic situations. I find myself stuck, unable to explain myself, or my feelings, throwing everything into a box...
    Mirabal19 Mirabal19 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    Well, were do I start. I'm a total mess. My parents aren't helping me either. They're always yelling at me for stupid things and I just know they hate me. I'm a total...
    xxalexatwxx xxalexatwxx 13-15, F 4 Responses Mar 17

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    I always try to be open and honest, be the person I would like to be seen as. It can be difficult sometimes and I have opened myself up to a lot of untrustworthy, nasty people over...
    Bellastasia Bellastasia 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 5

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    I don't know were to begin. I feel like its an on going thing. Everyday. Every hour. I have to shake my head to let my thoughts go away. I try to ignore them. I realize I was...
    PrincessGobi PrincessGobi 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 17

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    Life is not fair. Love comes at the most inopportune times. I wish we had some insight into our future and could choose our own paths. I am constantly wondering, why? Why do I let...
    SubmitandServe SubmitandServe 46-50, F 3 Responses Mar 20

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    I am the nicest to everyone. I just want to have many friends, but I put their needs before mine, and it's really hard to keep up with everything. Recently I have been caring about...
    xcamep xcamep 13-15, F Mar 22

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    What the heck? About three and a half years ago I began to get soreness and stiffness in my hips, legs, and shoulders that increased steadily until I got to my doctor after weeks...
    DavidScott7 DavidScott7 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 24

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    I get them from anything sometimes they are small and others become so bad I've literally passed out and stopped breathing today wasn't bad so I was asking my mom to take me to the...
    Meeppeep Meeppeep 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 1

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    When I was a child, I was very lonely growing up. I had no siblings. I was chubbier and much shyer than the other kids so I got bullied. I also got bullied by my parents for being...
    daydreamingmadness daydreamingmadness 16-17, F 6 days ago

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    I came to a realisation today that I have given up on myself. I have been putting on a brave front for the most part, but inside been struggling with inner turmoil. I was driving...
    NewDay NewDay 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 2

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    Embrace - "Come Back To What You Know" Come back to what you know Take everything real slow I wanna lose you but I can't let you go Before you interfere Let me make it loud and...
    Ortolan Ortolan 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    To be honest, I have no idea what I am doing. I feel clueless and lost. I don't even know where to start to explaining my experiences. I don't want to start in the stone age... But...
    Mythicraven Mythicraven 36-40, M Apr 1

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    Good morning, I have no idea where to start. I have four children one is almost 21 and moved out of the house and I now have three teen age kids at home. My daughter 14 no problems...
    therockdog therockdog 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 18

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    Venting to set myself free... To my enabling soon to be ex in laws... As part of letting go and moving forward, I've got to vent these thoughts and hurts. Forgive them. Set them...
    ChangingDad ChangingDad 41-45, M a week ago

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    Hello...... I am hoping somebody could give me some advice, I'll explain my situation and I'll try to keep it short.... I think I have a narcissistic mother. In fact I am pretty...
    blueberry36 blueberry36 36-40, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    So, it has been a while since I've found myself on here. I was doing really well after coming back from a holiday in Egypt. Surprisingly, my boyfriend and I lost weight (as the...
    Mel999 Mel999 18-21 2 Responses Mar 18