Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Have Lived In Fear For Most of My Life

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 125 People

    BEING Hated and Indirect Blame of Somebody Elses Crime.

    BECAUSE i WAS A VICTIM OF RAPE BY MORE THAN 1 MEMBER OF MY FAMILY, i WAS DESPISED AND HATED AND MADE TO FEEL LIKE SCUM FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED THAT WAS NOT OF MY DOIMG I WAS FORCED AND RAPED. mY MOTHER DID NOT CONTACT THE POLICE, INSTEAD SHE TOLD ALL MY RELATIVES WHO WENT...
    MPA123 MPA123 51-55 Sep 1, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Mom is protective, she tell me everything

    that could go wrong, I live in fear , I do everything carefully, exhausting, feeling so negative Dad yells at me, his way of telling want he wants, I lived to please him, still feeling not enough, not good enough. He wants me to listen , he doesn't hear me. I didn't know when I...
    Mangostrawberrybanana Mangostrawberrybanana 31-35, F Aug 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Safe Now... It Still Feels Odd

    I am 34 years old.  The first 32 years of my life I was squashed beneath my father's thumb.  He beat me down, both physically and emotionally until I couldn't even think of rebelling.  I knew that if I ever put a toe out of line I was up for a beating...if I was lucky.Far...
    Plaid Plaid 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 3, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Constant Vigilance

    He stole my innocence. So I put him in prison. He molested me for the better part of a year. My sister too. I finally found the strength to tell my mom. I'm so glad that she is as strong as she is. She put him away. Soon after we got a guard dog. But everyday I look over my...
    ThatPrincessCharm ThatPrincessCharm 22-25, F Sep 3, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Fear...

    ...was the thing that kept me away from everything else for most of my life. Now, after my therapy I am starting to live like a normal person. People who know me do not know about my problem. They think I am a normal girl just like everybody else who goes to work everyday and...
    MarMar1487 MarMar1487 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 3, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Motivated By Fear

    I had a discussion with my boyfriend about Super Mario Galaxy. I always tend to be highly stressed when I'm playing and he wanted to know why. I told him that I was motivated by fear of losing, whereas he was motivated by winning. We have decided that if I want to play that he...
    ameeker ameeker 18-21, F Nov 28, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Yeah I Have....

    I spend a lot of my time in fear. But not for me. My moms a b!tch. And she loves to throw her authority around me. She says I'm the special child, to stupid to figure anything out. I may be young, but I'm not stupid. I may not be book smart, but I'm street smart. I can take care...
    Iamawerewolf Iamawerewolf 18-21, F May 25, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    ok eradicating feat from life isnt easy; in fact is possibly the most difficult thing one has to do. Actually, fear is the only attribute from all the negative things that happen...
    monty1212 monty1212 26-30, F 3 Responses 23 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I love this avatar: It is hard to see it now (as EP has shrunk avatars) It is a bright and happy mosaic of many homes and houses kind of stacked all together really snugly and...
    NyxInvictus NyxInvictus 41-45 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've been single way too long waiting for the right woman to come in to my life. 5 years seem to long
    Anthony2400 Anthony2400 22-25, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Okay , so i have this huge void in my life that nothing seems to fill No amount of soul searching will do it and certainly no amount of practical actions can detract from it. So I...
    colorbuff colorbuff 51-55, F 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Never have I seen so many old, young, privileged, people trying so hard to be happy. There are countless articles written about it, blogs named for it, workshops attending to it...
    MissQueenB MissQueenB 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 4

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I really sometimes don't even know why i'm in college
    Lacrimosadies Lacrimosadies 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Someone once told me: "As soon as you start living your life for love and nothing else, you would be amazed at the progress you would make." Karma man...karma. The more you give...
    Dan412 Dan412 18-21, M Feb 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I think we as people, often overlook the fragility of life; how amazing it is to be alive and well. I am so grateful to be alive within this time and space, to be able to think, to...
    Purpleflower97 Purpleflower97 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I can't believe the people that will stay in a relationship, or circumstance where they are if given an alternative. they are unhappy, miserable and they say so on EP, and yet...
    manofintegrity manofintegrity 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The Republicans the Ultra-Conservatives, the bigots the hate mongers those that do not think, The people who believe the need a gun that would be best in the hands of the military...
    RisingPhoenix54 RisingPhoenix54 56-60 1 Response Feb 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have been talking to guys on here and I kind of like it.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I was a teen Mom who had no idea how hard I made my life when it didnt have to be. Never the less, my two kiddos and I turned out just fine. It was not an easy path but I made it...
    WhyMeWhyNotMe WhyMeWhyNotMe 36-40, F Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am neither a true conservative nor a liberal so maybe that is why I can see things more clearly than either side does. What I have found to show total stupidity are the Ag...
    cpguy cpguy 46-50, M Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Ok..not my whole life, Thank God. My dad kicked her out when I was 15, with good cause. She was horrible and I don't miss her. I don't know where she is or if she is even still...
    LuvinKitty LuvinKitty 51-55, F 1 Response Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Making Peace with Your Past: Choosing Forgiveness Are you haunted by something that happened in your past? Whether someone wronged you or you made a decision you regret, Dr. Phil...
    Q2013 Q2013 46-50, F Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have a odd fear of men. Not just men but guys in particular. Kind of odd because I'm a mistress and most people I talk to are men.
    Yourmistress6969 Yourmistress6969 18-21, F 9 Responses Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Yes I do and I also have a thing for seeing sexy white women with BBC penetrating them and creaming all over the massive members that black men have! ;)
    1645jw1645 1645jw1645 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 1

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Last week I told my mom I had done all my chores and I was going to my boyfriends house Well she came home and I didn't do anything she waited till I got home Then that's when she...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 31

    Your Response

    Cancel
    It's been a long time since I wrote on this site. Longer than a year, I'd believe. So much has changed; I'm a mother, an art model, a lover, an embittered heart and a happy soul...
    TheBareFootedTruth TheBareFootedTruth 18-21, F Jan 30

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I noticed the Gestures in the Whiteboard have been removed. Before I get to the point, I would like to explain. Ever since I joined this site in the beginning of 2014, EP has...
    moose73630 moose73630 16-17, M 7 Responses Jan 29

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I feel I get old...But as God promise, I will wait for what the best for me...
    kudi26 kudi26 26-30, F Jan 29

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have probably struggled and had more difficulties in my life than most kids who are 13 years old. I have had to go through some unpleasant experiences in my life and I've had to...
    tiffany101402 tiffany101402 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 28

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I think the greatest life lesson is the realization that while you know some things, you will never know everything. After you accept that you can live your life and make your...
    KawiiKay KawiiKay 18-21, F Jan 27

    Your Response

    Cancel
    and for the ideas that have now come to me. oh my god im bublling away with all the ideas. i feel so awesome at the moment, waking up every day, in great disbelief how can one be...
    monty1212 monty1212 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 27

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I don't have much patience for people who look for attention to the extreme. There are several peoppe on here, who I've blocked simply for that reason. At first, I usually trust...
    FatalOrca FatalOrca 18-21, F Jan 27

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've done pretty much all the wrong you could get tossed in jail for but somehow dodged that, but I have never tried to kill anyone, but have thought about it, including myself...
    aerosnz1 aerosnz1 56-60, M 1 Response Jan 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have turned away from authentic love a couple times because of fear and thought my life would work out ok if I just kept myself safe and seeming confident.
    DoIknowmenow DoIknowmenow 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My username in Second Life is Sanndy Sands. If you want add me there, first say hi and talk before sending a friend request.
    SanndySands SanndySands 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Don't lie yourself girl! you are lazy for real! you can't do it for real! Why you said it was not your fault? it's not because of the weather, your illness, situation, people...
    kimlys kimlys 18-21, F Jan 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've realized that I am, in fact, afraid. I used to try to convince myself that nothing could or should scare me: Spiders, heights, deep waters, even death. These things might be...
    TigerAtHeart TigerAtHeart 22-25, F Jan 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    We live, we learn and hopefully we grow. As for me personally, I know that I have experienced tremendous growth in the past 2+ years that I've been on EP alone. And change? Yes...
    Reflectionsinred Reflectionsinred 46-50, F 5 Responses Jan 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I struggle with fear of what God expects of me. If I was in control of my life it would be how it was just not good. I would keep the wrong people in my life and be around people...
    Kayla0504 Kayla0504 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I give it up to a handful of people in my life right now cause everyone else is proving themselves as little rude ****-pockets. I never publicly showed my appreciation fir my O.G...
    Chpt16 Chpt16 16-17, M Jan 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Through all the pain, I made up one rule for myself and have used it successfully for life. "Never allow yesterday, to steal joy from today." It works. Life is too short to waste...
    Grace2U Grace2U 66-70, F Jan 23