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I Have Lived In Fear For Most of My Life

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 115 People

    Safe Now... It Still Feels Odd

    I am 34 years old.  The first 32 years of my life I was squashed beneath my father's thumb.  He beat me down, both physically and emotionally until I couldn't even think of rebelling.  I knew that if I ever put a toe out of line I was up for a beating...if I was lucky.Far...
    Plaid Plaid 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    Mom is protective, she tell me everything

    that could go wrong, I live in fear , I do everything carefully, exhausting, feeling so negative Dad yells at me, his way of telling want he wants, I lived to please him, still feeling not enough, not good enough. He wants me to listen , he doesn't hear me. I didn't know when I...
    Mangostrawberrybanana Mangostrawberrybanana 31-35, F Aug 15

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    A Life Full Of Fear

    Well for those of you who have read my previous stories i will skip ahead, for those of you who haven't... read it :)... but i'll still summerize. When i was younger from the time i was born till the time i was 11 years old i was living with an abusive father and watching him...
    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 22-25, F Jul 31, 2011

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    Yeah I Have....

    I spend a lot of my time in fear. But not for me. My moms a b!tch. And she loves to throw her authority around me. She says I'm the special child, to stupid to figure anything out. I may be young, but I'm not stupid. I may not be book smart, but I'm street smart. I can take care...
    Iamawerewolf Iamawerewolf 18-21, F May 25, 2013

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    Constant Vigilance

    He stole my innocence. So I put him in prison. He molested me for the better part of a year. My sister too. I finally found the strength to tell my mom. I'm so glad that she is as strong as she is. She put him away. Soon after we got a guard dog. But everyday I look over my...
    ThatPrincessCharm ThatPrincessCharm 18-21, F Sep 3, 2013

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    Motivated By Fear

    I had a discussion with my boyfriend about Super Mario Galaxy. I always tend to be highly stressed when I'm playing and he wanted to know why. I told him that I was motivated by fear of losing, whereas he was motivated by winning. We have decided that if I want to play that he...
    ameeker ameeker 21-25, F Nov 28, 2007

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    Fear...

    ...was the thing that kept me away from everything else for most of my life. Now, after my therapy I am starting to live like a normal person. People who know me do not know about my problem. They think I am a normal girl just like everybody else who goes to work everyday and...
    MarMar1487 MarMar1487 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 3, 2008

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    BEING Hated and Indirect Blame of Somebody Elses Crime.

    BECAUSE i WAS A VICTIM OF RAPE BY MORE THAN 1 MEMBER OF MY FAMILY, i WAS DESPISED AND HATED AND MADE TO FEEL LIKE SCUM FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED THAT WAS NOT OF MY DOIMG I WAS FORCED AND RAPED. mY MOTHER DID NOT CONTACT THE POLICE, INSTEAD SHE TOLD ALL MY RELATIVES WHO WENT...
    MPA123 MPA123 51-55 Sep 1, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    Success Such a funny thing. There is no real way to place value on another persons worth. Sometimes I get caught up in my self-loathing that I forget I am pretty good at certain...
    secretme1970 secretme1970 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 10

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    I've been seeing a therapist for a while now. The plan has been to work through my traumatic past, which has been something I've done my best to avoid. My therapist is patient...
    RedHotCrazyPerson RedHotCrazyPerson 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 15

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    Yeah... The truth is I hate being alone... And people leave my life and I feel abandoned so I just don't let people in, so I don't have to fear losing people...
    catho catho 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 28

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    I have been sad for a very long time. When I was eight years old, my father left my mother for another woman, thus destroying my family. I cannot explain how this felt, because I...
    classicslove classicslove 26-30, F 4 Responses Nov 30

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    Just curious why does waxing las extended than tweezing? ArenR17;t you still just yanking the hairs out? Many thanks for displaying each of the brow shapes thatR17;s truly handy!I...
    Anthony6913uep8 Anthony6913uep8 31-35, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I am grateful for my life and the people in it. There are so many people who have made a difference in my life, from my mom and dad, to my wife and daughters and my friends and...
    tryingagainII tryingagainII 56-60, M Dec 15

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    Man ! Today, i realized i have been single for 17 years :O
    iamjustbeingme iamjustbeingme 16-17, M 9 Responses Dec 3

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    Today, there are three kinds of people: the have's, the have-not's, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-have's. Earl Wilson
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Dec 10

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    I have been cooking for a little over 15 years or so professionally and Love every aspect about the Culinary World. One of my fondest memories about the culinary world was my...
    FatFur FatFur 26-30, M 1 Response Dec 6

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    I don't high standards when it comes to other people. But I've always had high standards for myself. I want to own my own house by the time I'm 30 years old. I've always wanted a...
    Midnight721 Midnight721 22-25, M 5 Responses Dec 12

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    I've lived through three episodes that should have killed me. it's hard to fear what you've been so close to so much
    RememberingSunday22 RememberingSunday22 36-40, F Nov 30

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    For the most part, it was great, it really was. I went with my girlfriend to teach English as a second language under a reputable company.We visited most of Chinas wonders (Great...
    Mikfly Mikfly 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 6

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    I want to list my fears hoping to get over them one day Fear of judgement, rejection, abandonment Fear of loneliness Fear of getting lost Fear of not being enough Fear of driving...
    Mangostrawberrybanana Mangostrawberrybanana 31-35, F Dec 8

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    i'm getting nerveous thinking about test of cervical cancer again.it's thurdsay.i have no family who care me.hospital is the most lonliest place if you don't have family or close...
    juryandrews juryandrews 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 14

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    I have questions before i die , who is going to miss me ? Who is going to miss me the most ? Who is going to cry ? Who will care ? Will someone stand at my grave and cry ? Or will...
    ActuallyGrace ActuallyGrace 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 1

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    I want to run away. Tuck my tail between my legs Give up throw in the flag Admit defeat Prove the nay Sayers right Run for the hills Be the scared little girl only I know I am If...
    zanyzoey zanyzoey 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 28

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    I fear more for the future of Russia. In Russia many stupid people hate USA and they think that USA will broke down like USSR anyway its stupid I think. I don't know what will be...
    Chinrussian Chinrussian 18-21, M Nov 30

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    Dying isn't the end of life, it's only the beginning
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 7 Responses Nov 30

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    Life is like a video game. Once you die you beat the game!!!!
    RedMeansGo RedMeansGo 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 30

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    You know you get to know someone, and they become a close friend.. But you start to freak out that they might walk out of your life for no reason.. That's what I feel like and it...
    catho catho 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 14

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    The person I was, the person I've been, and the person I'm trying to be... I only have one true friend and I fear that if she saw what was truly inside me she would walk away as...
    RocknR14 RocknR14 31-35, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Mikayla is a beautiful young sixteen year old girl who I believe was born to grow up as an angel. Seriously...the girl has a heart made of gold. Even though she is younger than me...
    peacekeeper15 peacekeeper15 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 11

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    It's Thanksgiving here in the US, so we're all busy being thankful. I try to be every day. I have so many wonderful people in my life, and I try not to take that for granted. I...
    Alisha32 Alisha32 31-35, F 6 Responses Nov 27

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    Contrary to popular belief I am not suicidal. I'm just aware that I could die any moment and I don't care. I don't have a death wish; I have an acceptance.
    Donchueven Donchueven 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 1

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    I have been in qatar for the past 20 years.. And i love to be a part of the developmental growth happening now
    sreejithu1991 sreejithu1991 22-25, M Dec 12

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    He's scared to let anyone close because everyone who said "I'll always be here for you" left.
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M Nov 28

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    Its now a timeshare. For former enemies. Illegal immigrants get doctor care. Better than native born. Employment soon based on credit. No wealthy ever paid into...
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Nov 29

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    Yeah, you heard me. Alright, it's not like they haunt me, I just get extremely anxious and uncomfortable around them. If I am in the same room as a balloon, you will not catch me...
    InsaneDane InsaneDane 18-21, M Dec 16

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    For those low life's that go around calling girls ugly like seriously most of us girls spend so much time on our hair and make up and that's what we get? For those people well I...
    sydneymichelle sydneymichelle 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Everyday, i am very happy to admire the beauty of sunrise and sunset because i have another adventure to explore in life. Whatever happens, good or bad, happiness or sorrow, is a...
    Starlight165 Starlight165 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 1

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    Mitakuye Oyasin (All Are Related) I am grateful every day for the people in my life, and the lessons I continue to learn. In life I am always the student.
    WindWalkingDreamWeaver WindWalkingDreamWeaver 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    It's Funnyy Howw Thee Ppl Whoo Knoww Thee Leastt Aboutt Youu, Havee Thee Mosttt Too Sayyy .
    conniee3 conniee3 18-21, F Dec 5

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    I feel as though I have a purpose to heal people through my music, I have started writing songs for people that I Love on EP! and it really does warm there heart and mine I play...
    Kornisone Kornisone 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 10

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    to love. to laugh. to spread peace and joy. to make you laugh. to share. to learn. to dance. to paint. to help my fellow man, every chance I get. to smile.... to tell all of you...
    hollygee hollygee 41-45, F Dec 12

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    ok so four years ago i was close to suicide but i decided not to and change my life 3 years on my life has not changed am going from job to job . unable to make new friends...
    ufoundme109 ufoundme109 22-25 2 Responses Dec 12

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    Everything is just so great. It's difficult to explain but it seems like life is just wonderful. Sure it can have hardships, but the beauty in breathing, and the gentle noise of...
    RMgunning RMgunning 13-15, M 2 days ago

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    I'm 17. I never have had a girlfriend or first kiss yet. but its ok. The single life is better ill just live single forever until like 50 or something. I want love but I can't have...
    jstaples534 jstaples534 16-17, M 1 Response Nov 28

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    My love is 23 years older than me. We met a few years ago online via AgeMeet.com. It was totally platonic but I broke off contact due to doing other things in my life, I wasn't...
    cassiecc11 cassiecc11 26-30, F Dec 4

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