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I Have Lived In Fear For Most of My Life

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 112 People

    Constant Vigilance

    He stole my innocence. So I put him in prison. He molested me for the better part of a year. My sister too. I finally found the strength to tell my mom. I'm so glad that she is as strong as she is. She put him away. Soon after we got a guard dog. But everyday I look over my...
    ThatPrincessCharm ThatPrincessCharm 18-21, F Sep 3, 2013

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    BEING Hated and Indirect Blame of Somebody Elses Crime.

    BECAUSE i WAS A VICTIM OF RAPE BY MORE THAN 1 MEMBER OF MY FAMILY, i WAS DESPISED AND HATED AND MADE TO FEEL LIKE SCUM FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED THAT WAS NOT OF MY DOIMG I WAS FORCED AND RAPED. mY MOTHER DID NOT CONTACT THE POLICE, INSTEAD SHE TOLD ALL MY RELATIVES WHO WENT...
    MPA123 MPA123 51-55 Sep 1, 2008

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    Fear...

    ...was the thing that kept me away from everything else for most of my life. Now, after my therapy I am starting to live like a normal person. People who know me do not know about my problem. They think I am a normal girl just like everybody else who goes to work everyday and...
    MarMar1487 MarMar1487 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 3, 2008

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    Motivated By Fear

    I had a discussion with my boyfriend about Super Mario Galaxy. I always tend to be highly stressed when I'm playing and he wanted to know why. I told him that I was motivated by fear of losing, whereas he was motivated by winning. We have decided that if I want to play that he...
    ameeker ameeker 21-25, F Nov 28, 2007

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    Safe Now... It Still Feels Odd

    I am 34 years old.  The first 32 years of my life I was squashed beneath my father's thumb.  He beat me down, both physically and emotionally until I couldn't even think of rebelling.  I knew that if I ever put a toe out of line I was up for a beating...if I was lucky.Far...
    Plaid Plaid 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    Yeah I Have....

    I spend a lot of my time in fear. But not for me. My moms a b!tch. And she loves to throw her authority around me. She says I'm the special child, to stupid to figure anything out. I may be young, but I'm not stupid. I may not be book smart, but I'm street smart. I can take care...
    Iamawerewolf Iamawerewolf 18-21, F May 25, 2013

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    Mom is protective, she tell me everything

    that could go wrong, I live in fear , I do everything carefully, exhausting, feeling so negative Dad yells at me, his way of telling want he wants, I lived to please him, still feeling not enough, not good enough. He wants me to listen , he doesn't hear me. I didn't know when I...
    Mangostrawberrybanana Mangostrawberrybanana 31-35, F Aug 15

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    A Life Full Of Fear

    Well for those of you who have read my previous stories i will skip ahead, for those of you who haven't... read it :)... but i'll still summerize. When i was younger from the time i was born till the time i was 11 years old i was living with an abusive father and watching him...
    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 22-25, F Jul 31, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    My past has lead me to where I am. The experience has aged me beyond my years. The emotions I have let me know I am still alive. My family and friends are part of me. The smile...
    johnbaldwin johnbaldwin 31-35, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I have been through a lot in my life, more then most. Started life with a single mother, then was raised with a crazy step family, ran away from home and have been on my own since...
    colliesjournal colliesjournal 41-45, F Oct 11

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    So here's me roughly 10 years ago. Artist, musician, technician, teacher, touring with my band part time, working on some kids books and short movie scripts. Owned my own business...
    platoflats platoflats 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 6

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    Forgive me if I've got this wrong :) I have a thing for the BBC . "This is the BBC home service broadcast from Alexandra Palace to the British Home Counties . " BBC Radio Four...
    Drwho1963 Drwho1963 51-55, M 2 Responses Sep 20

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    Lol have to leave for court and work bye!! Lol
    Tigerlily53 Tigerlily53 18-21, F Oct 1

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    I have been married for 34 years and during this time I have had the suspicion that my husband was unfaithful to me. We had many arguments and he denied it every time calling me a...
    entropy1 entropy1 51-55, F 1 Response Oct 5

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    Wow man! Today, i realized i have been single for 17 years :O
    mahdiraza mahdiraza 16-17, M 1 Response Oct 10

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    My partner, words fail me when I think of just how much I love her. It scares me with the intensity...I could not imagine life without her. She is to me the most beautiful person...
    ultimatehacker ultimatehacker 26-30, M 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    i don't know.. i have these twisted feelings about everything.. confusion on what is wrong based on what i know and what i feel tomorrow is the day that my mother gave birth to me...
    shenghuidai shenghuidai 26-30, F Sep 23

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    It's so easy to hit a down slide. One thing after another can get on top of you and make you fearful of doing what you need to do! The older I get the more I say to hell with it...
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M 1 Response Sep 26

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    My Anxiety: You can sense him all around you. He is careful not to show himself, but you feel the predator's presence. He stalks you like a shadow and follows you wherever you go...
    GetYourFreakOn GetYourFreakOn 16-17, F Sep 26

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    My grandmother's life is run by how scared she is of everything. She's going to worry herself to death. She gets mad at me for not worrying with her. I'd rather live and die, than...
    EllieAmazing EllieAmazing 16-17, F Sep 26

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    I have read the messages again and again, is there something I would have said differently? Hell no! Is there something I could have done? Unfortunately no. Is there something I...
    charlieedwards charlieedwards 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 28

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    I lived in a tent for a couple months with my ex. We lost everything due to drugs. It really makes you appreciate everything so much more when you have nothing
    brandijade92 brandijade92 18-21, F Sep 21

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    Most of my life I been alone, single. I am 42 years old. Lost my virginity at the age of 34, Got my first kiss at the age of 20, Had two or three girlfriends my whole life. It...
    Niko864 Niko864 41-45, M Oct 4

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    I have hemophobia, philophobia and arachnophobia
    cittykatluv cittykatluv 18-21, F Sep 20

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    I grew up being rejected, I had to get used to it when I was little. For years I was the only kid in the entire grade who was an only child and I was the only kid for years who had...
    Blackbirdy13 Blackbirdy13 16-17, F 3 days ago

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    To some people this won't make sense, and honestly it doesn't make much sense to me....but I have always hated talking on the phone, to the point that it's become phobia-esque. At...
    EmoBlue EmoBlue 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 10

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    I have met the most amazing man. I have had serious doubts about this site and issues with trust. I have met some very nice people but there have always been doubts in the back of...
    enchanting31 enchanting31 36-40, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Although I feel like I wished I hadn't gone through most of the stuff I have, through it all, there were lessons that were learned along the way. I'm grateful for that.
    SentimentalMood SentimentalMood 36-40, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    There are some things where you just gotta get hurt in life...
    KatieP767 KatieP767 13-15, F Sep 28

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    I have had many friends in my life, some true and others not. However, I still feel that I would like to have that one good lifelong friend to laugh with about our great...
    queenruth queenruth 18-21, F Oct 2

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    ''ILAHI'' this song is Soundtrack of My Life
    Annki777 Annki777 18-21, M Oct 8

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    Some may say the significant of my.. "Mistake" is that I am Satanist. That isn't the case. Mostly I am a Straight Edge and self proclaim highly intelligent rocker who adores dark...
    TheUndeadSavior TheUndeadSavior 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 30

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    Sick of everything. Hate when people get mad at themselves for making a mistake they knew that was gonna **** someone off. And now I'm alone thinking they killed themselves cause...
    Killingmesoftlyx3 Killingmesoftlyx3 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 9

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    Lol it's big and I seriously hate it at times but I am trying to love all of me I do for the most part I do have my days where I don't feel pretty then I have days where I feel so...
    NativePride33 NativePride33 26-30, F 3 Responses Oct 11

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    This happened these few years back. I met someone and really liked her so much. Nothing happened for first year but this year things really turning around. I'm a low profiled...
    zarencorp zarencorp 36-40 1 Response a week ago

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    I believe we go through horrendous & ecstatic periods for a reason.
    cherryjar cherryjar 26-30, F Sep 20

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    I contact a suicide chat line because I'm suicidal and the person just keeps forcefully telling me that I need to go admit to my parents I'm still depressed. It felt like they were...
    blahlahblah599 blahlahblah599 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 20

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    Am 21 years old and for the last 7 years I have been trying to lose weight but can't am at. My breaking point I feel that no one will love me the way I am I act like am happy the...
    missaquji missaquji 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 24

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    This happens to me a lot when I get in a debate with somebody. I like to look at the debate from both sides and show the good and bad about both but I still get blocked. People...
    ValhallaAwaits ValhallaAwaits 18-21, M Sep 24

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    It's been almost a year since I got diagnosed with HIV. It's not been easy. I keep battling with the pain and guilt every second of my life.
    thizmystory thizmystory 22-25, M Oct 3

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    Fat I hate u sooo much just **** off I have tried over and over to loose u
    Fatgirl2001 Fatgirl2001 18-21, F 9 Responses Oct 5

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    I forget how intelligent I can be. It's always when I write on paper that it shows. I feel that I adjust to my idiotic surroundings to much and recently it's put me in a dark place...
    KristyGoesRoar KristyGoesRoar 22-25, F a week ago

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    We all do, but God gets us through those times and he lets us see the sun for another day with his grace and mercy.
    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 22-25, F 6 days ago

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    I just think they are purely beautiful, maybe not aesthetically, to some, may only see wrinkles, a frail frame and silver hair. I see behind the eyes, I see the smile and I notice...
    LifeOfARoseCat LifeOfARoseCat 36-40, F 3 days ago

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    Thank you for making me feel worthless, now I act like I'm worthless too. Cutting out a lot of things I eat I'll be a skeleton soon, thanks to you finally I know how to end life...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    I'm blonde: I must be stupid I'm brunette: I must be boring I'm red head: I must have a fiery temper I have black hair: I must be eccentric I wear makeup: I must be fake I...
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    The one's that always get to me are German, Russian, and British (not so much cockney) in that order. I make it my business to learn languages, so along the way I have heard many...
    Steffi627 Steffi627 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 23

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    I'm wondering, how do I tell if the things that I struggle with such as depression, mood swings, stressing about things, especially social situations of all sorts..... How would I...
    hanskywalker hanskywalker 18-21, F Sep 28