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I Have Lived In Fear For Most of My Life

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 99 People

    A Chill To The Bone...How The World Will Turn Against Me...

    So I am awake and alert, on the most Eastern side of the country. I don't know if I suffered a seizure and was molested by my Mother last night...I don't know if her boyfriend was involved either. I'd be between sleeping and awake, but feel my whole body shake. I could hardly see...
    HoneyFromTheSkySolAngel HoneyFromTheSkySolAngel 26-30, F Oct 3, 2013

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    BEING Hated and Indirect Blame of Somebody Elses Crime.

    BECAUSE i WAS A VICTIM OF RAPE BY MORE THAN 1 MEMBER OF MY FAMILY, i WAS DESPISED AND HATED AND MADE TO FEEL LIKE SCUM FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED THAT WAS NOT OF MY DOIMG I WAS FORCED AND RAPED. mY MOTHER DID NOT CONTACT THE POLICE, INSTEAD SHE TOLD ALL MY RELATIVES WHO WENT...
    MPA123 MPA123 51-55 Sep 1, 2008

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    Constant Vigilance

    He stole my innocence. So I put him in prison. He molested me for the better part of a year. My sister too. I finally found the strength to tell my mom. I'm so glad that she is as strong as she is. She put him away. Soon after we got a guard dog. But everyday I look over my...
    ThatPrincessCharm ThatPrincessCharm 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 3, 2013

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    A Life Full Of Fear

    Well for those of you who have read my previous stories i will skip ahead, for those of you who haven't... read it :)... but i'll still summerize. When i was younger from the time i was born till the time i was 11 years old i was living with an abusive father and watching him...
    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 18-21, F Jul 31, 2011

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    Safe Now... It Still Feels Odd

    I am 34 years old.  The first 32 years of my life I was squashed beneath my father's thumb.  He beat me down, both physically and emotionally until I couldn't even think of rebelling.  I knew that if I ever put a toe out of line I was up for a beating...if I was lucky.Far...
    Plaid Plaid 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    Yeah I Have....

    I spend a lot of my time in fear. But not for me. My moms a b!tch. And she loves to throw her authority around me. She says I'm the special child, to stupid to figure anything out. I may be young, but I'm not stupid. I may not be book smart, but I'm street smart. I can take care...
    Iamawerewolf Iamawerewolf 18-21, F May 25, 2013

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    Motivated By Fear

    I had a discussion with my boyfriend about Super Mario Galaxy. I always tend to be highly stressed when I'm playing and he wanted to know why. I told him that I was motivated by fear of losing, whereas he was motivated by winning. We have decided that if I want to play that he...
    ameeker ameeker 21-25, F Nov 28, 2007

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    Fear...

    ...was the thing that kept me away from everything else for most of my life. Now, after my therapy I am starting to live like a normal person. People who know me do not know about my problem. They think I am a normal girl just like everybody else who goes to work everyday and...
    MarMar1487 MarMar1487 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 3, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I have a list for my life. It's my life plan. First- finish high school with great grades and a job. Second- get into a good collage and get good grades and a degree in...
    VioletCarroll VioletCarroll 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    If you do not like what you read- please keep to yourself. A Dire Warning to Christians and People Everywhere. Hello, everyone here. What will be discussed here is very very...
    EvangelistTeen EvangelistTeen 13-15, F Apr 6

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    Is it bad I have so many fears. I have a fear of death, I am terrified of death. I can't sleep at night cause I'm worried ill die. I get nightmares every night of me dying or I'm...
    broadwaybabe99 broadwaybabe99 13-15, F Mar 25

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    I have these fears. Imagined or real. No matter how much they say they care I'm so scared. But at the same time im just there like daring it to happen..It's happened so many times...
    waldeinsamkeit waldeinsamkeit 18-21, F Apr 1

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    Still I find myself thinking of you, when my mind wonders it's you it wonders to. I wish we could of stayed friends at least, I got that you never loved or wanted "ME" but I can't...
    BrokenAngel35 BrokenAngel35 31-35, F Apr 2

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    Actually, I've always been single, never had a girlfriend and I'm 18 and already going to a university, and it is embarrasing. It makes me feel like I'm not worth for any girl. I...
    DeniedWings DeniedWings 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 13

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    Sky blue, how I find you desirable in all shades of blue. Red rouge, her blush has crushed my heart with nothing to view. Green eyes, tell lies Grey eyes, time flies Purple daze I...
    XnOXnO XnOXnO 18-21, M Apr 15

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    I was depressed all the time a mother of toe and one on the way I felt lost I had a home And husband a car a boat a family.. No reason I know now to be depressed I lost my 7 month...
    laceykight laceykight 26-30, F Apr 13

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    This is an update to my story about fear of getting lost and where I am today. The answer was unexpected. I recently went to the doctor to see about actually taking meds for my...
    gazingupwards gazingupwards 26-30, F Apr 14

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    At some point of time, you might think it's like end of the world. You might think your problem is the biggest on earth as if you want to wake up forever. Been through to an...
    hippo99 hippo99 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    It was a difficult time in my life. I think they call it a midlife crisis. Having recently gone through the divorce, I was unhappy with my life - bored, tired... alone. So many...
    esmeraldream esmeraldream 26-30, F 1 day ago

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    I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave 'Cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave...
    unknown159231 unknown159231 18-21, F Apr 15

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    I was at summer camp one week with the other boy scouts. We were doing canoe training, and it was going pretty well. There were two people in each canoe, and all of us had to...
    DarksBane DarksBane 13-15, M Apr 3

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    And not being what I've always wanted to be in the future and achieving my goals is the biggest fear I got
    TheLadyYves TheLadyYves 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    Death is inevitable. Our fear of it makes us play safe, blocks out emotion. It's a losing game. Without passion you are already dead.
    dede9090 dede9090 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M Apr 7

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    I'm so afraid of going but I need to go. I have to find out what's wrong with me so I can get on with my life. I haven't cut because I knew I was going to go to the doctors soon...
    NemoNoMore NemoNoMore 16-17, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    when i was sixteen i fell pregnant, which resulted in abortion. ever since then ive been suffering with depression, and have a huge fear of abandonment. before this experience, i...
    eviemay6 eviemay6 16-17, F Apr 8

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    A year ago I found out that the reason for this is that my 'husband' is a sex addict and has been screwing hordes of other women and prostitutes. PUKE!!!! I find myself with three...
    shanm shanm 46-50, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    I didn't always. I traveled a lot growing up; plenty of overseas flights under my belt. But my husband has always been terrified of flying. For this reason, we haven't flown...
    ShesAVeryKinkyGirl ShesAVeryKinkyGirl 26-30, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I have had someone stalking me for over ten years. It is mostly online but has completely ruined my life. I had to apply for jobs in person when I was job hunting. I landed a...
    ObiOneyouremyonlyhope ObiOneyouremyonlyhope 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    This is only the most recent in a long line of rejections. Being a transgender person in the American South certainly isn't easy, but the most painful moments are those that are...
    SisterCyanide SisterCyanide 26-30, T 2 Responses Apr 4

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    I've been fat my entire life. When i was a kid people would say its cute but when i got old and still fat people looks at me like I'm a disgusting person. I don't ride a bike cause...
    elel110993 elel110993 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 31

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    We must hurt in order to grow, fail in order to know, and lose in order to gain. Because some lessons in life, are best learned through pain.
    Shygirl917 Shygirl917 18-21, F Apr 14

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    the feeling of having great power fills me everyday. i have compassion, motivation and a very strong will. i really want to help everyone pursue their own course in life. i want...
    bongripper1 bongripper1 16-17, F Apr 4

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    All. The. F*cking. Time. I have a lot of siblings and because I'm not the most well behaved I'm frequently blamed for things I didn't do.
    Samchezz Samchezz 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 6

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    Life is too short. Live it with gusto. Nothing better than making those you love enjoy wonderful moments.
    AlwaysGood AlwaysGood 51-55, M Apr 8

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    32 y.o F, mother of 2, no friends to talk to. I constantly feel left out and have no idea how to make friends. My week days consist of working, followed by Dora The Explorer...
    Gem1981 Gem1981 31-35, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Gimmie what 'cha got life! I am ready! I can't explain this.. I've told my abusive ex where to shove it... and i know ill be alone for awhile.. but thats okay. Im fine with that...
    shaneflaque shaneflaque 22-25, M 3 days ago

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    I don't know what to do my friend made me join this group but i feel like my life has come to an end all my hopes for marriage am juss so sad
    tinnoeb tinnoeb 22-25, F Mar 24

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    am looking for a man or women to take me an dress me up as a sissyboy so i can be set free live in lakeland fl have spouse who dosenot want me in a sex less marreg to help me all...
    eaglecry eaglecry 61-65, M 4 Responses Mar 26

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    i have had depression since high school cause i use to get bullied and i take everything at heart all the time no matter what people say to me i let it get to me, i have had help...
    westlife213 westlife213 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    I tried to die once but I kept going because I found someone who was just like me. She told me everything and how she stands to fight for 1,000 of people a day for staying alive...
    Angelihavebecome Angelihavebecome 13-15, F Apr 4

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    the urge the urge to discover, explore, chase after what makes my heart stutter, what gives me that adrenaline rush, being next to the truth, being overwhelmed with knowledge, I...
    FlorescentBeauty FlorescentBeauty 16-17, F Apr 10

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    6 months, 377 applications sent, 18 weeks of unemployment, 3 in-person interviews and 1 lump sum severance check later, I, Jai Ferrell, a 10-year entertainment marketing...
    jaiferrell jaiferrell 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 11

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    This message if for PREACHERSBOY. This young man is very sweet, kind, caring but he lives in a state of parental abuse. I just want you to know that I believe your parents found...
    iamwarped iamwarped 66-70, M 1 Response a week ago

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    I don't care how bad it is for my health. I could Fast Food every day, for the rest of my life. Being fat & happy would be the best thing ever.
    thescaredshadow thescaredshadow 16-17, M 1 Response Mar 28

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    I know being single is a time to grow as a person and not rely on others....still tho I've relied on myself for so long even in relationships I didn't expect much not like I ask...
    the808heartbreak the808heartbreak 18-21, F Apr 6

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    spent my time watchin' the spaces that have grown between us. And I cut my mind on second best or the scars that come with the greeness. And I gave my eyes to the boredom, still...
    Nichalas Nichalas 22-25, M 13 hrs ago

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    I just want to be loved...but my need for intimacy and closeness came off as slutty on my last date. He flat out had to tell me he wouldn't sleep with me. All I wanted was to be...
    ralyssc ralyssc 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 26

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    I got accepted in this large company which handles malls and condominiums! Luckily, my position will be dynamic since i get to be part of the events, creatives and marketing...
    huangzichen huangzichen 18-21, F Mar 27

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    there has to be someone out there for me right ? 😞😞 every time i think i've found someone they always **** me over. i just want something real ..
    yourlittlemsft yourlittlemsft 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 30

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    Any girls up for it? I'm really hard right now ;)
    coreystricks coreystricks 18-21, M Mar 31

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