I Have Major Depressive Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 331 People

    Hi I'm New

    Hi I'm 22 years old. I suffer with major depressive disorder everyday. I've been in counsling since the end of Sep. of 2004.  Just last summer my consuler dianoticed me with PTSD and MDD. It's been rough. I fell like not doing anything besides being on the computer. i don't...
    wtpoohbear19 wtpoohbear19
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jul 24, 2007


    I was told that Depression and Bipolar runs in my family. But I believe the source of all the clouds and rains are disappoints and loneliness. I started receiving treatment a year ago , at the start of my junior year of highschool. My day depends on medication like Laxapo and...
    ascaniuz ascaniuz
    Jan 12, 2013

    Sometimes I really wish I could disappear.

    . I don't feel good enough for this world and feel too hurt often. sometimes I really don't like myself. I can't explain why, I think its everything. sometimes I feel so much I cant even cry, I just feel a heaviness in my heart and lump in my throat, it usually comes out at...
    MissWaddles MissWaddles
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 1, 2015

    Suffering From Conversion Disorder For 6yrs. Is There An End??

    I am a 22yr old female from Indiana that was diagnosed with conversion disorder six years ago when I was 16yrs old. I was on my way home from a far away high school softball game and the next thing I remember I woke up in the ICU, unable to move my left side, I had tubes...
    nhssoftball06 nhssoftball06
    22-25, F
    Feb 6, 2010

    I'm done. I dont want to deal with life anymore.

    I've battled for 15 years and I'm done fighting. I've lost myself. I've lost my own soul and dont know how to keep fighting anymore. Its so exhausting ive lost. I dont know how much longer i can keep going. And people who say it gets better, save me the bullshit...
    BlackBlood64 BlackBlood64
    22-25, F
    3 Responses May 27, 2014

    I Want Myself Back

    For over a year now I have been experiencing major depressive disorder. My entire personality is gone. I have lost my sense of humor, my ability to converse with people. and my ability to do my job. I am just not the same person. Trouble is that not a lot of people...
    choice222 choice222
    1 Response Jul 6, 2013

    The Other Side Of The Glass

    This is a confession from the voiceless, the absurd, the depressed, the unheard, the living dead, the lifeless,---a confession from the other side of the glass. As a child, the youngest of four, I was given food, clothing, and shelter. My body was sustained, but my mind was...
    zSisyphus zSisyphus
    2 Responses Sep 21, 2012

    What Should I Do?

    In my place, people don't understand depression, nevertheless the disorder itself. It's almost like a taboo if your friend or relative has anything to do with mental disorder, so I stop myself from thinking that I am depressed. And after taking numerous self-tests (because I can...
    Juuithira Juuithira
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 1, 2013

    I was hospitalized for 9 days

    because I was having suicidal thoughts and I battle OCD, generalized anxiety disorder, possible PTSD, and major depressive disorder. I am still getting adjusted to medicine and I am in therapy. Every day is a battle just to get up and I am just so tired. I don't see much in...
    ashkrause ashkrause
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Dec 17, 2014

    I Suffer From Depression

    i have a dapression dissorder . i hate it i can just wake up and feel like dieing i dont kno why it happens. i refuse to take the dapression pills there horrible they make me sleep all the time or one im awake i wana kill myself. i wish i could change but i cant people look at...
    sierrajacobs sierrajacobs
    13-15, F
    Oct 22, 2010

    Struggling Alone

    My problems started when I was about 6 or 7 yrs. old. I asked my grandmother where my parents were and she told me my mom died giving birth to me and no one knows who my dad is. Once it really set in my mind I started to feel extremely guilty like it was all my fault and I still...
    alexisdh1990 alexisdh1990
    22-25, F
    2 Responses May 6, 2013

    My mind is badly fractured I hate the body I am

    in My thoughts shall destroy me As I mutilate my skin I'd rather change myself Than never live at all But it seems that change won't come So with my broken mind I fall They label it depression But they haven't got a clue They have no idea Of the things my mind can do...
    SkullRoseInsignia SkullRoseInsignia
    18-21, F
    Mar 28, 2015

    I Don't Know How I Even Got This Far...

    This depression is so heavy. It used to be an annoyance, back in some happier days; but now it has gotten so overbearing that the depression is starting to BE me. I feel lonely and worthless, and I do not have any friends. I want to sleep a lot because it seems to be the only way...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Oct 14, 2012

    I was diagnosed at age 28,

    approx. 6 years ago after I started experiencing some really scary mental problems. It was a really stressful point in my life (extremely stressful) and I started to feel disoriented, not like myself. I felt really weird, as if I wasn't part of the world anymore; almost like an...
    makingtee makingtee
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jun 8, 2014

    I have been feeling in despair

    for as long as I can remember. Sometimes it's hard because I get so depressed I cannot get out of bed. A lot of the time I have no real idea WHY. I can't talk to anyone because they just tell me to "snap out of it." Last week I finally got the guts to speak to a psychiatrist...
    HamburgerHill HamburgerHill
    31-35, F
    1 Response Dec 8, 2015

    So the diagnosis isn't official,

    but I'm being 'monitored' for it by a therapist, some creep who can't even work in a real office. My parents don't get it. This guy is a MARRIAGE and FAMILY counselor who also specializes in ADHD in young children. How the hell does that fix anything? I need a real doctor. He...
    deleted deleted
    Jul 20, 2014

    Unopened Love Letter

    Dear Mangled Heart, I don't even recognize you anymore. Where have you been? What have you been through? We used to be so in tune. "With my brains and your brawn..." Ya know? Now it's like we're strangers in the same room. You've grown old. Cold. Distant. You used to...
    SoCloseItSmellsSweet SoCloseItSmellsSweet
    26-30, M
    1 Response Apr 5, 2012

    Just Want To Give Up On Life Sometimes...

    I’m 34… going on 54…. I’ve spent 10 years in tech and worked at some of the greatest companies in the world as well as started a few companies on my own…. I’ve always been someone who was “lucky” and had many opportunities come my way. I was sitting at my home...
    good2bgreen good2bgreen
    2 Responses Feb 3, 2011
    MissWaddles MissWaddles
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jan 27, 2015

    Ayahuasca Cures Depression

    Ayahuasca. it is a medicine that has existed for thousands of years. It is made in the rain-forest. It must be taken with a shaman, who is not motivated by greed and self-gain. If you suffer from any form of depression, Ayahuasca can cure you. Take a minute to read my story...
    AlexLight101 AlexLight101
    26-30, M
    1 Response Mar 17, 2013

    Baby Blues? Or Just The Blues?

    Not sure what it is. Since I've had my son this past February I have been a mental wreck! It has been the worst bout with depression I have ever had in my 35 years. During my early 20s I spent four years in therapy for treatment of depression and anxiety...after I had my...
    pfair714 pfair714
    36-40, F
    Nov 30, 2011

    For Me...

    Having MDD is like having a thin broken-off needle wedged somewhere between your clavicle and your heart -- and you can't ever take it out. You simply endure the pain almost every day unless you happen to be fortunate enough to momentarily forget its there.
    brokedownmess brokedownmess
    36-40, F
    1 Response Oct 12, 2012

    I Stopped Taking My Meds...

    Soooo yeah. I stopped taking my medication, celexa, a while ago. And by awhile I mean its only been a few weeks. I was feeling good when I stopped taking it, like I could figure out a way to control my depression while I was right minded and get off of these numbing drugs. The...
    nonapplicable nonapplicable
    1 Response Dec 17, 2012

    Think Your Life Is Hard? Look At Mine.

    I would like to open with the fact that I have been diagnosed with depression, and I am lucky that I have not done anything dramatic...yet. OK, here is the reason and causes behind the mask. I am now 20. When I was younger, I was sexually abused, not by family or anything, but...
    IcedFlames IcedFlames
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Sep 7, 2009

    Crushing Darkness

    My father's side of the family is riddled with mental illness; schizophrenia, bi-polar disorders, dythsmia, depression, major depressive disorders, and others. I guess I should have taken that as a sign that I'd get stuck with it too, but I never really paid much attention to my...
    Lifeonmyown Lifeonmyown
    May 1, 2013

    I've had Major Depressive Disorder

    for 3 years so far. Major Depressive Disorder is a disorder that makes you feel sad all the time or nonstop sadness most of the time. I was 15 years old when I was diagnosed and now I'm 17 years old. I currently go through taking medication every day for my depression and go...
    Kimberly6401 Kimberly6401
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 9, 2014

    My Major Depression

    I have major depression I figured this out when I got diagnosed with a conversion disorder where parts of your body you become unable to move. I blame myself really. My family was having a fight. I thought something terrible might happen. so i did the only thing I could I cried...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Sep 2, 2009

    In the quiet moments my thoughts creep up on me.

    "there's no point of bring around, you're no good" "looks at that person looking at you funny, they can see youre a bad person" then there's the thoughts i hate, the ones i can't tell if its depression or me at the time i get them, the often feel like facts.. "maybe i...
    MissWaddles MissWaddles
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 22, 2015

    Tired Out

    I'm close to 50, married, grown kids.  I sleep, smoke,  smoke and sleep.  I no longer get dressed.  I'm on meds.  Thoughts of suicide.  Counseling, family - nothing helps.
    dumbfool dumbfool
    2 Responses Apr 10, 2012


    Apparently I have Major Depression. I haven't done much about it lately. I even stopped taking my meds. I feel sadder but I don't want to deal with doctors and meds anymore.
    lobaroja85 lobaroja85
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jan 29, 2012

    I always thought I was some sort of freak.

    Growing up, I was shy, awkward, had anxiety, and didn't have many friends. In highchool I started having mental breakdowns a few times a month. I cried everyday for hours. Basically for no reason. I hated my life and was so sad. My life wasnt bad. It was normal. So why was so...
    VirgoBeauty VirgoBeauty
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 4, 2015

    Where Did I Go?

    A few months ago, I was a strong, confident woman in a successful career as a paralegal, a mother of 3 beautiful girls, and a wife of 17 years. I graduated Summa *** Laude, was a talented writer, always saw the good in everything, was an optimistic, outgoing, and a positive...
    Jazmyne73 Jazmyne73
    41-45, F
    1 Response Sep 26, 2013

    It sucks, to say the least.

    Some days I can deal with it, most days I can't.
    YoungAndAwkward YoungAndAwkward
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jul 29, 2014

    :(.. Just had a meeting with my work partner

    and boss. A few months back the work partner was bad and leaving me to do most the work load.. Btw i am a cleaner. I put up with it for a while before it got too much and i had to speak out, i went to an ex team leader and told her the situation. She said it will remain...
    MissWaddles MissWaddles
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jan 29, 2015

    i am at the point where i want to commit

    suicide. i honestly dont mind dieing. i dont know what makes me happy anymore & i dont know how to be happy. i was a happy child before but now i dont even understand myself. i dont want to be here. i have nobody to talk to and im always alone. i need help really bad. can...
    SabrinaMarie24 SabrinaMarie24
    1 Response Feb 21, 2014

    Fruitless Ideations

    What's the point of staying alive when I can't live it right? I never read the guide that everyone around me seems to have already scrutinized. I paid no heed to my soul’s many forewarnings. And now, I am bounded with the spoils of my insensibility. A voice inside me demands...
    lovesicksince87 lovesicksince87
    2 Responses Aug 7, 2013

    Hate These Feelings

    I have dealt with depression nearly my whole life, but it really hit in junior high and got really bad my senior year in high school.  I have had about three major episodes since 2008, one of them right now.  I had about 3-4 weeks of it being really bad, but then Thursday and...
    drummergrl06 drummergrl06
    26-30, F
    Oct 1, 2011

    Suffering From Conversion Disorder For 6yrs. Is There An End??

    I am a 22yr old female from Indiana that was diagnosed with conversion disorder six years ago when I was 16yrs old. I was on my way home from a far away high school softball game and the next thing I remember I woke up in the ICU, unable to move my left side, I had tubes...
    nhssoftball06 nhssoftball06
    22-25, F
    Feb 6, 2010

    The Reasons Why

    I was adopted at birth. My parents where a lot older and also had a large age gap 20+ years I think. My mom was 45 or 50 at the time. Not sure how old my dad was, but he passed away from cancer when I was 5. A year later my step brother ( same age as my mom) passed away. We moved...
    unicorn360 unicorn360
    Dec 27, 2012
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