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I Have Multiple Personality Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 712 People

    My Fears Of The Outside...

    All my life I have had many fears-I didn't know why until I was diagnosed with DID. One of my worst fears is going outside. I feel so afraid and I can't seem to get a handle on it. I will go to the window and look out and get this huge knot in my chest and the thought of leaving...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 6 Responses Jan 5, 2012

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    Flashbacks...

    You've gotta love them...they just creep up on you when you least expect it and freak you right out. It is as though they seem to know you're at a moment of peace and then, BAMM--- you remember a flash of your past that is very unpleasant. I have a hard time dealing with them...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 10 Responses Feb 25, 2012

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    Hi, I am new to this group.

    I joined because I am confused an need help. My main question is, do I have MPD. in my head I hear two voices (John and Potentia) Potentia rarely speaks, so I am usually talking to John. Potentia has been there for a long time (don't know how long exactly) John has been there...
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 3 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    It Wasn'T Me

    I have undiagnosed MPD. I know of 3 other personalities and what I like to call the "occasional tourist". All of them have names, distinct looks, and personalities that make them stick out. My pictures even look like different people. People that know me well know the names of...
    AwakenSoul82 AwakenSoul82 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 19, 2013

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    I am more than one person.

    It sounds weird when I say that out loud. I don't know how it started, and I don't know how to stop it. There me and there's the mad man who pesters me. I could be well off without the me side. I'm smart when I'm him. I'm witty! I am syndical and evil... I need to stop my self...
    LePaw LePaw 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 1

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    Ok so I'm having a lot of trouble with alexis

    my alter who does what ever the **** she wants....can she be locked away or something?!?!? Please help
    ShiroAria ShiroAria 22-25, F 10 Responses Jun 6

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    Dream Fight

    Last night I had the strangest dream (that means alot coming from me).  It was like a small room and there were so many people inside it, some were talking and others arguing, but not everyone could fit into the room.  So the ones outside were trying to pull others out...
    allofus allofus 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 17, 2010

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    Hi. I just curious in how the personality swap,

    I know that physically, there might be minimum differences, but I have view that the way they represent them self; such as the usage of certain words or intonation, or the way they respond to the same question, might be differ. What is your experience? Correct me if I'm wrong...
    MissHara MissHara 22-25, F 13 hrs ago

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    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 3 Responses Jul 28

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    Losing Control

    I have been highly functional most of my adult life. Very few people have ever even commented on, much less knew about my condition. My wife, however, knows almost everything. Hell, sometimes she knows more than I do. She sees things from an outside perspective. And as such, I...
    neoerebus neoerebus 31-35, M 2 Responses Feb 3, 2013

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    I've always wanted to know this about other

    people... How quickly can another persona come into being? Do they suddenly appear, or do they gradually "slide in"?
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    All 9 Of Me/Us/Them

    Hi I will start to introduce them, 1. The child is the most important and sane one of us. The is 5 years old. Innocent and carefree. 2. Surviver Emily is a tough with a military like way of doing things. She is not to be crossed! She had to be born in my hour of need. She was...
    drakneko drakneko 22-25, T 2 Responses Feb 2, 2013

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    Have any other alters had a vast world inside

    that felt safe, but once you opened up about your existence found your world to be fading? Ever since I told a few people about my existence the internal world I had has been harder to connect to. I can't hide away anymore. It seems now I am only satisfied experiencing things...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 Jul 16

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    Do any of you, actually hear your alter(s)

    speaking inside your head?
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 8 Responses Jul 5

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    Hey guys, it's been awhile

    since I last posted. I just wanted to post that my alters agreed to have new names, so these are my alters. Sigma: the malevolent one Delta: the logical one Theta: the inner child personality Gamma: the deceiving egotistical liar Eta: the dutiful soldier iota: the adventurous...
    MultipleRex MultipleRex 16-17, M 3 Responses Jul 27

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    How do you explain an MPD/DID system?

    I have people asking and idk how to explain it...
    FullHotel FullHotel 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 12

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    I have a whole playlist of songs

    that make me feel understood, these are the ones that focus on my MPD. "Animal I have Become" Three Days Grace "Monster" Skillet "I am an Illusion" Rob Thomas "All These Years" Adema "Let Me Be Myself" 3 Doors Down "One X" Three Days Grace "Chameleon Boy" Blue October "Ugly Side...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 Aug 1

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    Hello. @.@

    Hey, everyone. I wanted to take some time to introduce myself and the 5 alters (if that's okay...). I guess I'll start with the alters... 1) Keiko - Keiko has been around for a long time, constantly taking care of me and the others (you could say she is a mother figure). She...
    ZenoKun ZenoKun 16-17 3 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    Ok, so this is a thing.

    It's a big thing. A big, annoying (and possibly dangerous) thing about myself that I have come to terms with. I have accepted the fact that I will sometimes turn into a British man who is apparently a know it all and rather annoying. But the main thing here is that I have a...
    Quertal Quertal 13-15, M 3 Responses Jun 22

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    Packing for a trip is impossible.

    .. I pack my clothes then think 'Wait, what if I'm not out the whole time, should I pack clothes for the girls too?' Ugg...I'm running out of room in my suitcase as it is. Jesse
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 1 Response Aug 6

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    Hi, I Have Another Side To Me.

    I AM a girl, the usual me is down the earth, chill, not tolerant to many people but still open somehow, innovator, etc. Francisco: Demon... Francisco comes out when i'm mad. My pupils get bigger, my skin turns ice cold, i black out. I'll hurt you anyway possible. I'll fight you...
    IWillMakeYouThink IWillMakeYouThink 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 29, 2012

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    Here's to everyone. How many times a day do you

    switch? Or who is the alter that's out the most?
    ShiroAria ShiroAria 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 22

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    I have been watching many videos

    and documentaries on you tube. I think for years I was just in denial with my mental issues and afraid to face them. I start meds this week than we will begin DBT and looking at memories and where my issues started. I have done this a few times but never in a state of mind i am...
    wickedone72 wickedone72 41-45, F 1 Response May 25

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    The We of Me

    I have dealt with this my whole life and did not understand others did not until I was in my 20's.  I have a fairly stable community of alters, personailties, or whatever you wish to call them.  For the most part we share the memories and experiances with each other...
    allofus allofus 46-50, M 10 Responses Apr 20, 2009

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    My Experiences With Did...

    I don't really know what to say. I have wanted to connect with other people like me for a very long time. I was really nervous about opening up about living with this 'condition'. My alters saved my life while I was a child and now they can be a challenge. Other people don't...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 12 Responses Jan 3, 2012

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    Frustrated With Doctors..........

       I am so sick of being treated like I am stupid! Book-smart is what they are - Whoopie!!! I think that I know more about mental illness than they do. When I have to fight to get the medications that I NEED it's like pulling teeth. I haven't seen my psychiatrist in 5 years and...
    Leena26 Leena26 46-50, F 7 Responses Feb 24, 2012

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    i was always very interested in this.

    to whoever has this disorder is very brave because i know it must be frustrating basically sharing your body with different people
    luvabl3 luvabl3 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    "them"...

    Well let's start to in the beginning. The first personality that came was Abby. Short to the point with her, she's a child and is my emotion. She let's me feel what I need. Without her, I'd be emotionless. Then came Prudence. At first I didn't like her. she was smart and at times...
    HelloKittyEatzSoulz HelloKittyEatzSoulz 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 23, 2012

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    There is a demon in us all.

    For some people it comes out easier than others. Our very own... Hadrian Coull, the only one who refuses to use our given last name. He would smile and kill and plan your death. You can knock him down but no matter how hard or how many he won't stay down, bruised, broken or...
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 2 Responses Jul 10

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    fauxlady fauxlady 22-25, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    Once upon a time, There was a little girl.

    The little girl had a mummy and a daddy who said they loved her very much. One day, the little girl was hurt by something she shouldn't have seen. The mummy and the daddy punished the little girl for something that wasn't her fault. For days the little girl was locked in a dark...
    NearAsFarCanBe NearAsFarCanBe 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 1

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    So I have told my friend about my 'friends' she

    was really supportive and understanding. She said it explains some of my weird behavior. We talk and laugh about it when we're alone, and she asks questions that I do my best to answer (on our behalf). But I want her to 'officially' meet them, proper face to face. But I worry...
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 6 Responses Jul 4

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    What To Do About A Girl Who Fakes Being Multiple

    Okay, so there is this girl who goes to my school and has found out about The Hotel (My multiple system)... At first, she didn't say anything directly to me or anyone else who was out, but instead she would talk to my others friends and tell them about how I'm "faking" this for...
    Ambergon Ambergon 16-17, F 7 Responses Dec 6, 2012

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    I'm lucky no one tests me to show the one part

    of four that I don't like letting take control of this body.
    JohnBobMac JohnBobMac 16-17, T 3 hrs ago

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    Life With My Wives

    Hello everyone, My name is RT, just my initials for now, but most who know me call me that anyway. My story is an odd one, but a beautiful one, it is the story of meeting and living with angels, as husband, and father to more than one. In 1995 my shallow excesses in...
    Voltaire1 Voltaire1 51-55, M 4 Responses Jun 27, 2012

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    Confusion About The Self

    My name is Olivia, and to start off with, I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia by high school. But after a lot of research and pills that don't help I truly believe i have multiple personality disorder. It's hard for me to talk about, but I have 5 people that are very closely a...
    lightningoddess lightningoddess 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 1, 2013

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    MissHara MissHara 22-25, F 17 mins ago

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    Sadira

    I  forgot about her. I don't have alters that come out. But they're still there. They seem to feed off my attention? Sadira breaks things down to the sum of their parts, viciously. I can't think of an example but it's very depressing. She is pure depression and cynicism...
    deleted deleted 26-30 17 Responses Jul 21, 2009

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    Multiple Personalities Or Great Imagination?

    I'm in my 30's and the idea of having multiple personality disorder is not something new to me.  I've always believed there was something just a little different about me as I've grown up, other than having a great imagination.  I've read up on the topic, discussed it...
    vampireheart vampireheart 31-35, T 26 Responses Jul 8, 2008

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    Hello. I suspect I have multiple personality

    disorder but I'm not really sure and I need another opinion but I'm scared to ask anyone I know (no offense, I'm sorry). I have periods of time where I don't have memories. I walk into a room and forget why I did. And sometimes I feel deja vu, like from once a few weeks to 13...
    PantomimeEira PantomimeEira 13-15, F 5 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    I was raped by my brother of 8-9 years my age;

    who was beaten and raped by my half brother of 10-11 years my age who was raped by his mother and beaten by our father. Fun family dynamics out of the way now, I learned at an early age to split my conscious and sub-conscious mind. And to create many personalities in my sub...
    LightYagami LightYagami 18-21, M Jul 24

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    We're really scared about being called fake.

    It's probably weird because MPD is a huge part of our lives but every time I tell someone or talk to someone else with MPD I have this feeling that they secretly hate me and think I'm faking or that I'm not good enough and I just want to cry and kill myself... does anyone else...
    FullHotel FullHotel 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 8

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    I was at a party the other day,

    and for some reason my friend was behind a couch. And I (one of me) for some other reason was trying to keep him behind the couch. It was all a good game, we were all laughing, and having fun, especially the guy behind the couch. And then my other friends started trying to pull...
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 3 Responses Aug 4

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    i'm so done. i am unhappy all the time

    and its getting worse. i can't eat. i sleep but it feels weird. my dreams are sick. i just want out. i wish i could be happy. they are fighting all the time and i feel sick all the time. i hate Cal the most his mind is gross. i just want to be free and live in a safe cozy place...
    minibird minibird 18-21 Aug 5

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    I have been on my own about this

    for a while, and I am thinking about talking to my best friend and letting them in. What is the best way to go about telling them?
    TheDylanWorld TheDylanWorld 13-15, M 8 Responses May 15

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    They seem to be back.

    For some reason they left me. But they are back. I missed them very much! My head was so quiet without them. Now them seem to quietly chatter among themselves. We make a good team! People would think that this would be a bad thing! But nope! I love them! They help me with hard...
    HelloKittyEatzSoulz HelloKittyEatzSoulz 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 7

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    I Am Amazed

    Whenever i think of what soul shattering abuse it took to totally spilt a personality I am amazed by the sweet loving alters I have met in this group... even though we have survived hell and back we all came out with caring kind child alters... I do have some bad/mean alters...
    elderwitch47 elderwitch47 46-50, F 9 Responses Oct 20, 2012

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    I hate it when I can feel the suppression of

    certain parts of me. I can feel them just below the surface; there is a fullness in my brain, pressure behind my eyes, tightness in my lungs, and this feeling just under my skin as though I'm a balloon about to explode. I want to grab myself and shake myself violently until...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 2 Responses Aug 1

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    I was talking to my friend about systems being

    formed, the "rules" when it comes to MPD/DID and she said "yes every system FUNCTIONS differently but there are rules as to how its formed" And with a few things said/mentioned before I think she was accusing me of faking and I had a full panic attack and couldn't answer her...
    FullHotel FullHotel 13-15, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    For the last several weeks I haven't been able

    to set my mind straight. My mind and my desires keep shifting to the desire to be alone. Not just for a few hours or days, but for the rest of my life. Just me and my own agenda. No one to answer to, no one to depend on or anyone depending on me. Just me....alone. Even the...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 1 Response Jul 14

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    My alter ego is called Erik.

    As soon as he takes over, I stop being the 22 year old girl I am and turn into a 16 year old boy. I have no control over him. He is a troublemaker, gets into fights with everyone and is very rude- and my friends and family tell me that Erik dislikes me a lot. He thinks he should...
    BloodOnIce BloodOnIce 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 12

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    I Hate Change

    Around the age of 11, L showed up. We still don't know why, but it happened. Somehow, she knew what she was without any problem and she was able to keep life "normal" looking. Through the years, we've worked out how to keep a "common memory" as my husband calls it and keep some...
    sljz sljz 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 2, 2010

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    Where Is The Fight!?!?

    Please tell us there is someone out there still willing to fight! Fight o be happy! fight to be healthy! and fight to gain your lives BACK AND TAKE BACK WHAT WAS STOLEN FROM YOU AND YOUR OTHER SELVES!!! It seem that every system we have met to date has given up or "settled" for...
    SystemK SystemK 22-25 5 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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