on 12:55AM at Sep 27th, 2011
Ok...so I'm not 100% sure if I have multiple personality disorder and I was hoping you guys could give me some insight. Here's what happens...
About 3 years ago I started losing bits and pieces of time. I thought it was the Lorazapam I was taking...so I stopped it but the memory loss got worse.
At first it was minutes...then hours...and now I'm losing entire days. I feel very foggy and disconnected to myself sometimes usually right before I blackout.
During these episodes I wake up with grocery bags from a store in Brooklyn that I have never been to..and food I do not eat. I live in campus at NYU and Brooklyn is quite a ways for me to travel. But I have the subway tickets.
oh and I told a friend how upset I was for missing a midterm during this one blackout and she looked confused and told me that I DID take the midterm and that I was in class that day. I got the midterm back and the grade was barely passing... but I have ZERO memory of even being there.
I bought cigarettes and I do not smoke. I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl but after these blackouts I wake up wearing things I would never wear. Either something really revealing or the total opposite, something really manly like construction boots I wore ONCE and never again and a baseball hat and my roommates baggy jeans.
I found a receipt from an ice skating rink and I don't even know how anymore I haven't been since I was very little.
I have been to several doctors, neurologists, toxicologists to do blood tests and brain scans etc etc and they all say that I am perfectly fine.
I dont really notice a pattern...to me it seems really random..one minute Im studying and the next i remember its a day later and I have no idea how I got there or what happened.
I keep a journal...But I dont..or whoever it is...doesn't write in it. I have just yesterday come to the realization that this might be my problem...
My therapist hasnt said anything but we JUST started sessions 2 weeks ago...I scheduled an emergency one when I told her I thought this might be my problem...
does this sound like stuff that you guys experience? Does it sound like this may be the problem that I'm a multiple? Im just totally scared because all of this is rattling my brain I didn't consider it because I really didnt even know much about it at all...my knowledge of it goes as far as watching Sybil for a class project and I dont know how close to reality that is for you guys...
Im not trying to be disrespectful toward it or anything im just scared...and I need to try and find some answers...
Last edited on 12:59AM at Sep 27th, 2011; edited a total of 1 time
on 07:25PM at Oct 8th, 2011
Hi there N Y dancer 17, sounds definatly like your "multiple' by everything our desribeing, ((hugs))( your not alone here hun,) there is a person called "my mylee", who has headed a few groups for "people like yourselves", (she is multiple too) :)
contact "my mylee" she will be a great friend to you and she understands the "struggles", and "complexitiy" of "D I D"; :) ((hugs)))
Hope this helps you N Y Dancer 17, God bless :)
on 09:06PM at Oct 10th, 2011
god bless your welcome
and hugs back my my