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I Have Ocd

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,668 People

    I try to explain to people the stuff I do

    and they always say like "Oh my god I do the exact same" but they dont. I have to do everythin in groups of 4. 4 steps, 4 bites before putting it down, 4 knocks on doors. When I walk up and down stairs I count and make sure its an even number and skip stairs if its odd. I dont...
    LandonS LandonS 16-17, M 2 Responses Nov 10

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    So I'm away for the weekend,

    I'm trying to have a good time but there they are, old thoughts running through my head. Makes it difficult to enjoy myself
    somethingx3 somethingx3 31-35, M Oct 18

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    It bugs me that the title of this experience

    says 'Ocd' instead of 'OCD'.
    ThatOneGirlWithTheBlueEyes ThatOneGirlWithTheBlueEyes 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 30

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    In case you haven't checked it out before,

    this a great site that I've found for OCD. http://beyondocd.org
    Daenerys7 Daenerys7 41-45, F 3 days ago

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    So today I spent half an hour in shoppers drug

    mart fixing the nail polish section...just as I was about to leave I saw another thing out of place. It's so frustrating. It's not really the fact that I fixed it all and made it straight and stuff that bothered me the most...it's the intrusive thoughts that came across my mind...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 18

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    I Feel Trapped!!

    I have had ocd for years now, but it has changed over the years also. The earliest thing I remember is being in infants school obsessing over dirt in my nails. I used to think if I got even the tiniest bit of dirt under my skin I would die. I would sit in class trying to pick it...
    Daniixx Daniixx 18-21, F 13 Responses May 6, 2009

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    I just woke up from an awful nightmare

    and I'm pretty sure I'm having a mental breakdown. See, I have this huge blister on the back of my heal (from my skates) that turned into a giant almost pimple like thing that's actually from a burst in a tendon underneath the skin. There's no way to get rid of it, I can't pop...
    nsz45 nsz45 13-15, F 3 Responses Oct 2

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    It'S Not Easy

    I'm a 17 year old girl in high school. I can't hide my tendencies. So at school, like anywhere else, they happen. It's not easy being different. It's not easy always having to answer questions concerning my strange actions- nit easy having to explaining myself. But I can't help...
    SheIsNotAFreak SheIsNotAFreak 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 25, 2013

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    Having OCD makes me very different from others.

    I've went to four different schools and still got picked on like I was the target. Now I'm homeschooled. But I still get bullied by my neighbors. Tbh having OCD isn't funny at all. I've actually tried committing suicide because it. Something stopped me from dying, i dont know...
    rachel96826 rachel96826 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 3

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    I just got diagnosed on Thursday.

    They call it the "doubting disorder". I just want to be able to trust that my friends love me and want me around. I don't know how to deal with this yet.
    maggie9801 maggie9801 18-21, F Nov 14

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    Whenever my parents leave the house,

    I have to say 'I love you'. The thinking behind this is that if they die, the last words they hear from me will be 'I love you'. When I put money in my wallet, the big bills go in first, with the faces in the front. When I eat candy corn, I have to take three bites, one of each...
    ftmFreddy ftmFreddy 18-21, T 3 Responses Sep 17

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    yelsiissad yelsiissad 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 7

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    cottonbreeze cottonbreeze 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 18

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    Would love to know if there is anyone with OCD

    & depression in North Yorkshire UK.
    Annajuliett Annajuliett 22-25, F Sep 27

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    My anxiety levels take

    so many ups and downs that it completely frustrated me through out the day. And it's all OCD.
    Polarbear1234 Polarbear1234 31-35, M 1 Response Sep 25

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    I wish people around me would realise

    that OCD isn't just my habits and compulsions.. It's an anxiety disorder, and with that comes many other things.. Constant worrying and getting worked up over small things.. I know to everyone else it seems stupid and pathetic as well as 'easy and simple' to stop, but its not...
    Rach2104 Rach2104 16-17, F 1 Response May 26

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    I'm not depressed or anything over it right

    now I think but it's just it feel like my mind is running wild having a heart of it's own. I worry a lot about how people here percieves me and hold a few who'd been kind close to my heart. Then when they're not here, or not speaking to me I feel neglected. It's like this OCD...
    SwanNual SwanNual 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 10

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    One effect OCD has on me is

    that it enforces this idea that I should live by an extremely and ludicrously strict moral code. Any thoughts that deviate from this even slightly cause me extreme discomfort. It is also retroactive, I remember the stupid things I did when I was a kid or a teenager and I judge...
    somethingx3 somethingx3 31-35, M 3 Responses Sep 25

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    I'm severely OCD. I have to always look at the

    clock. I feel like if I don't do something Im going to have bad luck. I have to have stuff on the edge of my blankets when I go to sleep and every bit of the blanket has to be covered up. When I make things it has to be PERFECT or I get frustrated. I have to write in my journal...
    lovelygirll2323 lovelygirll2323 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    Yes I Have Pure Ocd

    I've just been dianosed with Pure O just about a month ago it was not fun at ALL! I had no idea that having violent thoughts and urges was OCD, but it is. Even though I was only dianosed a month ago my therapist told me I probably had it since I was about 4-8...so yeah I had it...
    littlegirlinaBIGworld littlegirlinaBIGworld 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 14, 2009

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    As well as being a mental illness,

    OCD has a number of physical symptoms that can make me feel very unwell. These include numbness in my face, feelings of nausea, twitches, increased sweating and most of all a build up of pressure in the head that causes intense headaches. This makes it all the harder to live my...
    somethingx3 somethingx3 31-35, M Sep 17

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    About How I Take a Shower, ...

    About how I take a shower, how I clean the house.  about alot.
    wowza wowza 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 1, 2008

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    In the last few months its been really bad to

    the point where i won't even sleep at home anymore. My family are so messy and it realy gets to me. They leave crap out everywhere its not that hard to put it away!!!!! Gah being here annoys me so much because everything is out of place.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Sep 17

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    Welcome To My Hell

    Hey, I'm Sally, I'm 20 years old and this is my story (English is not my first language so you'll have to forgive me for my mistakes)When I was 8 years old I started to touch walls, for two reasons:The first is because I was horrified by the thought that my worst nightmares will...
    SallyT92 SallyT92 18-21 3 Responses Mar 9, 2012

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    I have the urge to clean my room

    as soon as I get home. Not normal cleaning. Like, vacuuming even when I know my floor is clean and dusting. I also have an obsession with touching everything around me and snapping my wrist with a rubber band. I'm constantly touching my surroundings and have red marks on my...
    brookledsome brookledsome 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 22

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    I AM A: reactive checker I CHECK: people,

    reassurance, every decision I CHECK PEOPLE BY: texting, following I CHECK REASSURANCE BY: asking, apologizing, constant research I CHECK DECISIONS BY: asking others, research, deliberation until I get sick I need every decision, every relationship to be %100 right. I NEED to...
    maggie9801 maggie9801 18-21, F Nov 15

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    I wish that people would not judge me

    because I have OCD, it doesn't make me an alien! A lot of people don't understand and make me feel upset and sometimes isolated because people don't know what you go through.
    Charliee4 Charliee4 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 27

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    Ever since I was little.

    It's not so bad now, but still. I can't stand it when people say, "Everyone has a little OCD." Like no, everyone likes certain things to be a certain way, they're called preferences. OCD feels like I absolutely cannot continue to doing anything until this thing is facing that...
    LokixAvenger LokixAvenger 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 26

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    I have ocd. And its really screwd upball my

    happiness. I deserve better. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I would not have had ocd.
    Polarbear1234 Polarbear1234 31-35, M Sep 19

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    I was diagnosed when I was 4 years old.

    I wasn't sure what it was when I was young so my grandma and I made up an imaginary person to fit my OCD. I have to wash my hands, feet, back, and legs with water everytime they feel dry. I wash about 75 times a week. It hasn't been as bad as it was though. My parents used to...
    mojo0101 mojo0101 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 20

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    Obsessive thoughts, tapping,

    counting. It's ****😔
    tiamartinx tiamartinx 16-17, F Oct 27

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    OCD Ocd Ocd Ocd Ocd...

    ...I had to write that 5 times to make it right. There's three letters in 'OCD', so 5 x 3 = 15. 15 = a good number. But 5 + 3 is 8... not a good number. Crap. That's going to bug the hell outta me. That, my friends, is just a typical thought in my brain from day to day. Every...
    AllySh0rty AllySh0rty 18-21, F 13 Responses Feb 16, 2008

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    I hate when people who have no clue what real

    OCD is like, say they have OCD!!!!! Like, oh you gota wash your hands 5 times a day and can't drink after your dog? Well that must be horrible!! Lol!!! For real? You can just spend a couple weeks in my life and see how loosely you throw that word around again. I have had OCD...
    Kayloves060814 Kayloves060814 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 19

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    For the past week I have felt

    as good as I have in the past few months. Then I agreed to do something new and the bad thoughts creep back in.
    somethingx3 somethingx3 31-35, M Oct 3

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    It actually bothers me is much

    when I don't know which hand my gloves go on.
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    O.C.D.

    For as long as I can remember I have been counting things, checking, rechecking and locking and relocking things. i couldn't tell you when it started, I think it just kinda came on slowly. It's not quite as bad as it used to be but it still sucks. I can't even freakin wash my...
    Disordered Disordered 21-25, F 14 Responses Feb 27, 2007

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    OCD controls my life.

    It comes in waves, sometimes it's stronger then other times. Recently it has gotten bad. It takes me 30 mins to literally walk 30 feet to my room because I need to touch every corner and walk perfectly. Everything I touch with my left hand I have to touch with my right hand...
    DavidP4 DavidP4 16-17, M 5 Responses Jul 2

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    I feel like I can't talk about the symptoms of

    my OCD because years of behavioral training have made my outward compulsions well hidden. Even though I don't have many compulsions, the inward obsessions can still be agonizing. I feel often that the lack of obvious compulsions will make people think I'm lying about my symptoms...
    birdy037 birdy037 18-21, F Nov 10

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    I have never been diagnosed

    but i am certain that i suffer from severe ocd, When i was 11 i was often angry with people and whenever i thought bad about someone i had to repeat these phrases in my head or else something bad would happen, when i was 8 i would be annoyed if a fork was too close to a plate...
    karasummit karasummit 18-21, M 4 Responses Apr 21

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    OCD Is Ruining My Life.

    where to begin... I started having ocd symptoms when I was 17, and one of my worst memories was around that time was when my mom was honking the horn outside, waiting for me in the car, but I couldn't close my bedroom door "right". I just closed the door over and over...
    melanie29 melanie29 26-30, F 59 Responses Jan 18, 2008

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    Everytime I start to feel down

    or low, my OCD gets worse. The thoughts are more intense and don't go away as easily. It's annoying and frustrating...which in return just brings me lower :/ I just want it to easier, but it seems it only gets harder
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F Sep 19

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    I have fairly mild OCD.

    It started around high school. The main form of my OCD has to with checking - especially the door both when leaving and (to a lesser extent) at night before going to bed. A few years ago go to the point where it could take 5-15 minutes to leave my home. Currently I can leave my...
    jzednan jzednan 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 28

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    And yet again I find myself going.

    to talk to a perfect stranger about my condition. You'd think this would get easier but it doesn't.
    somethingx3 somethingx3 31-35, M Sep 19

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    Not the serious case though.

    Mild one i guess. 1. I am a total clean freak, i want my stuffs to be neatly arranged. 2. I do always have a schedule. I have "to do list" and since i am really forgetful. 3. I always have my evening "beauty ritual" no matter how tiring my day is from work or school. 4...
    Ladyling Ladyling 22-25, F 1 Response May 16

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    I was at this women clothes store with my aunt

    N they had this dis organize perfume stand ... I couldn't help but to fix it for them and the lady was like Lady : can you please not touch them Me: I have an OCD about this **** let me organize it for you. And she left
    Rydude Rydude 16-17, M Jan 1

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    Looking Back...

    I got diagnosed with depression and OCD when I was about 16. My family thought I was a bit mental, or fussy. But when I look back, I realise the signs were always there. As a small child, I would sometimes get sweets. If the sweets were different coloured (Jelly tots, sugar mice...
    AlreadyExiled AlreadyExiled 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 3, 2013

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    A Strange Morning

    Today I woke up, and it was quiet. My head was empty. Anyone with OCD would be thrilled to have their heads clear, for even a second. But it scared me. I began to worry that I was faking and that I was faking and that I was just trying to get attention this whole time. I sat up...
    purplepiper7 purplepiper7 13-15, F 6 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    Today was a bit of a weird day.

    After about 3:00 pm I started doing my homework (as I always do on PD days, holidays and weekends) but I realized the table wasn't straight that my laptop was sitting on. I moved downstairs and sat the laptop on a different table but the fact that the one upstairs wasn't...
    snowunderthestars snowunderthestars 13-15, F 1 Response May 16

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    It's undiagnosed, as my other issues have taken

    precedence. The healthier I become, the more prominent my lesser problems become. And so it has come to this: I need to control my world. I find sanctity in order. I spend most of my time in my room, and I enjoy cleaning and organizing my possessions. I can't say if anyone...
    adianoeta adianoeta 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 24

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    Sometimes I worry I may have done something

    wrong even though I don't think I have. I can never be sure though, as by definition you don't have a memory of not doing something.
    somethingx3 somethingx3 31-35, M Oct 16

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    OCD Is Driving Me Crazy

    Yes,i have a bit of ocd.When it comes to my house being clean,i can not stand things messy.Well my family ,they are a bunch of slobs!It drives me crazy,they make a mess all over.I clean for 4 hrs a day.This **** is getting so ******* old!
    1prettygirl 1prettygirl 36-40, F 8 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    The fact that OCD isn't capitalized in this

    experience's title is driving me nuts!