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I Have Ptsd, Depression and Anxiety

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,009 People

    My Ptsd Story.

    Last year I had a complete mental meltdown. I was angry with myself. I used to cut and anytime I felt I was under emotional attack I would unleash my wrath on that person. As my psychiatrist said, I am generally a person with a positive attitude and that is what kept me going...
    DcreativeBUG DcreativeBUG 22-25 5 Responses Apr 7, 2013

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    So after all that has happened I thought it was

    all turning round. Turns out I was wrong. My exams are coming up in a few weeks and my anxiety is giving me trouble, which is making everything else feel worse too. I went to the doctors who prescribed me beta-blockers, but since being on them for a week I have become more...
    tomb33 tomb33 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 17

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    The Good Bad And Ugly:

    OK the good, bad and the ugly This might be poorly organized sry, it's kinda like my life most of the time and i'm a bit under duress writing about it, because I've compartmentalized it away for so long, I've become good at it..... I fear losing those things in life I...
    Randysdot Randysdot 51-55, M 9 Responses Oct 26, 2009

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    What If You've Forgotten Who You Are?

         What if you forgotten whom you are?       PTSD part 2 stayin' safe...      Growing up I've always try to be something, someone, with some type of morals      or aspirations towards being...
    Randysdot Randysdot 51-55, M 1 Response Oct 19, 2009

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    The Apathy Is The Hardest Part

    My experience starts in the 90's, in the military, before the term PTSD was mainstream. I find it so hard to deal with day to day crap. Sometimes even minute to minute. I find myself standing or sitting in one spot, not doing anything in particular, for long periods of time...
    Sacknut Sacknut 41-45, M 5 Responses Apr 17, 2013

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    I can deal with my emotions

    but right now PTSD is rearing it's head back into my life. I hate looking at the exit signs in a building or having to sleep next to a window. I decided not to be medicated because my emotions could be magnified. When my emotions are medicated I'm a complete and utter mess.
    thelost87 thelost87 26-30, F Apr 19

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    I Hate People

    I hate when people are like ok just come talk to me when you have a problem You do and they are like gosh you have to talk about your problems all the time and make you feel guilty and bad about it Like you just complain all the time And you're Like...yeah that's why I don't...
    Reneetodd Reneetodd 18-21, F 10 Responses Oct 16, 2013

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    I suffer from PTSD and I feel

    that I can't really live a full life because of it. I guess it would be easier to discuss if I had been in combat but my battle was with a parent. One so abusive she destroyed the "me" I was suppose to have become. The constant anxiety and depression are awful. Now that I'm 58...
    Lcjones Lcjones 56-60, F 1 Response Mar 7

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    And sometimes I almost welcome the panic attacks

    because they're the only time I feel alive. Most of the time I live in a haze of numbness or pure despair, depending on whether or not I have pills. At least I know I'm breathing when I panic.
    PaperStars33 PaperStars33 22-25, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I have been feeling better.

    I had started to have panic attacks and sleep panic attacks. So I talked to my dr. and she gave me a prescription of celexa. Has anyone else used this? It seems to be helping. Did it help you?
    Catsoutdabag Catsoutdabag 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 28

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    Sometimes I am afraid to totally let my anxiety

    go. I feel like it has kept me safe, alive. That I went into this fight or flight mode for a good reason. That if I let myself relax I'll wind up hurt. My stress has been a normal reaction to very abnormal circumstances. It kept me sane, even as it drives me over the edge.
    Catsoutdabag Catsoutdabag 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 1

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    Running late for work this morning.

    Heard hubby on the phone..switching between two calls, talking back and forth for two people. When he was finally done I could hear him yelling aloud about how frustrating it was. He sounded on the verge of tears. He headed to the bathroom and tossed something around loudly. At...
    Catsoutdabag Catsoutdabag 31-35, F 6 Responses Apr 3

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    Strangled

    We`re supposed to go on vacation this summer. All family will get together. Large families. I`m scared. Large crowds. People staring at me. People touching me. People talking to me. People being near me. People asking questions. The smell of their breath as they glare at me with...
    AviatorHH AviatorHH 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 5, 2012

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    I just wait for each day to be over.

    I sleep in late to waste time. I sit in the dark during the day. Then I go to bed early and lie in the darkness.
    Kitty4190 Kitty4190 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 20

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    What I hate most of having mental issue,

    when it hits you out of nowhere!!!! PTSD is the worst!! My issues is guilt, let me explain. As a young kid I grow up close to my mom and a lot of female cousins!! So I was thought to treat a women right, do not hit them or abuse etc etc. that's all good, know my uncles was like...
    111888my 111888my 41-45, M Apr 22

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    Dissociation

    I really learned to dissociate as a child. Doesn't work so well as an adult in real life. Anyone dealing with this?
    lilylilyrose lilylilyrose 56-60, F 2 Responses Feb 17, 2013

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    my experience in an ongoing one.

    . i'm only 15 so far about to turn 16. i don't really know where to start so.. i'll start with my name. i'm Elizabeth. i have post traumatic stress disorder from being raped. depression, and anxiety. my story is just a part of me. as much as i hate it. it's what made me.. me. so...
    LilithOfTheDarkness LilithOfTheDarkness 16-17, F Feb 24

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    How I Overcame Panic, Fear, Hypochondria And Agoraphobia!

    I struggled with panic, fear, hypochondria and eventually even agoraphobia for years. It seemed like my mind just got stuck in this loop in which I just kept worrying. As soon as my panic kicked in, my heart started racing and I was absolutely convinced that I was on the verge...
    Lifeafterpanic566 Lifeafterpanic566 31-35, M Nov 25, 2013

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    The Good, Badd And Ugly Part 5

    The GoOd, Bad And UgLy part5 It's really hard to continue this, for me to press forward, for I have a throbbing headache from concentrating, uncontrollable trembling just reflecting, fear of the unknown, that might await me along my journeys ahead, for It's now seems as a...
    Randysdot Randysdot 51-55, M 2 Responses Oct 27, 2009

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    About a year ago, I started showing signs of

    PTSD. It was due to a traumatic experience that happened when I recently turned 20 years old. I don't take anything for it, but I am going to counseling once a month for it. I have had depression ever since I was a teenager. It was due to bullying and the aftermath of my...
    musiclover210 musiclover210 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    I Am Me

    I remember everytime they would put a label on me. The first was victim, and I was a victim of hate and rape. I add the hate first because my biological father hated me for being a girl. I was then raped at thirteen. I was forced into counseling. I didn't believe I belonged there...
    DarkLiela DarkLiela 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 27, 2013

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    What If You Forgotten Whom You Are?

       What if you forgotten whom you are?       PTSD part 2 stayin' safe...      Growing up I've always try to be something, someone, with some type of morals      or aspirations towards being what's...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Sep 21, 2009

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    Does fear cause real diarrhea

    or does it cause the feeling only ? http://livelifetothefullest.live-panic-free.com/2014/03/03/does-fear-cause-real-diarrhea-or-does-it-cause-the-feeling-only-.aspx Hey guys, sorry if this seems spammy, not my intention at all. I used to just paste my experiences in several...
    Lifeafterpanic566 Lifeafterpanic566 31-35, M Mar 4

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    My Daily Battle With PTSD, Depression, And Anxiety

    Can’t sleep Head is screaming. Sometimes I don’t notice I’m even breathing. Thoughts race I can’t keep track. Overdose on me causes a panic attack. Eyes pour rain when its not needed. For the visions to stop I’ve asked and pleaded. Is it real or is it fake. All I know...
    KatherineMarieS KatherineMarieS 18-21, F Nov 25, 2013

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    Having panic attacks?

    Here's some advice from Tyler Durden. 
    Lifeafterpanic566 Lifeafterpanic566 31-35, M Mar 7

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    i don't mind you fingering my play dough

    I don't mind you fingering my play dough! Hi, I had PTSD and a brain injury for a while now like 13 years really 30 total for ptsd, but A really great thing happens when you type me a note or comment, I get to dream.   Dreams are those things that are addictively...
    Randysdot Randysdot 51-55, M 4 Responses Nov 8, 2009

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    I have been suffering with PTDS,

    Anxiety, and severe depression since I was a little girl. It all started when my ex boyfriend committed suicide when I was 13 years old after talking on the Phone with him that same night.. It was so hard going to his funeral. It broke my heart. My life really hasn't been the...
    Kmg1994 Kmg1994 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2013

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    I Want To Remember

    Can someone with experience please offer input? Both my therapist and my psychiatrist strongly believe I have PTSD or some form of repressed childhood trauma and I don't have any idea why they think this or where it is coming from. They suggest I do hypnotherapy to recover...
    chiodios chiodios 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 7, 2012

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    Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in

    the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.
    smilemore123 smilemore123 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 6, 2013

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    Ptsd

    I was in a tornado and it brought up PTSD from all parts of my life and fears along with it. I use to use and drink and haven't once thought about it after all this. They did put me on a pill I use to abuse and it somehow helps when in panic mode. I think the important thing is...
    jupiter71 jupiter71 36-40, T Mar 19, 2012

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    My name is John. I used to be a member of EP a

    while ago and got away from it. I'm an army infantryman and a combat veteran. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and have started to combat it. It is going to be a long road to recovery but I am tired of being miserable. I want my life back. I want to be happy again. Writing has...
    johnnyamerica88 johnnyamerica88 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 4

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    So it just happens in the middle of class.

    Nothing really is needed to trigger them. But i will be doing fine one second and the next i feel like i can't breathe. It feels like i'm being attacked or something but there's nothing i can do about it because it's on the inside. But at the same time i feel like walls are...
    chemically99 chemically99 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 13

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    Witnessing a man burn to death in front of me

    after crashing his bike into a car is the hardest thing I have ever had to be a part of. It has left me emotionally and mentally scarred. The slightest sudden noise and I'm on edge, looking around to see what tragedy I am going to be a part of next, I tense up, shake, sweat...
    dontstopme dontstopme 18-21, M Dec 11, 2013

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    I stay awake for days thinking about what

    happened and why it happened to me. Sometimes I try and sleep but when I close my eyes I never left the room. lately, with all the stress I've been under I'm having so many flashbacks I can't stay focused long enough to determine what's really going on around me.
    WhiteWiddow WhiteWiddow 22-25, F 3 Responses May 15

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    Paralyzed In My Own Brain

    I can’t control my brain’s thinking. It sounds weird but I think it’s because of one of two reasons or the combination of the two: 1. I finally finished college, have a job I love, and am with the best man I have ever met in my life and I know he is the perfect one for me...
    NeedWings2Fly NeedWings2Fly 31-35 3 Responses Mar 7, 2013

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    Could use someone to talk to.

    Only nice people interested in actually talking please. I'm tired of pervs.
    Kimmandra6918 Kimmandra6918 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 5

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    tears Fall A Rain Throught The Leaves -last

    Tears fall as rain through the leaves 26 closing : OK to close , it has been a long rant at that hasn't it. I felt a need to clear the air of whom I am and what happened to me, so your aware. If you missed any of this long story, I wish you take the time to read the whole...
    Randysdot Randysdot 51-55, M 2 Responses Oct 31, 2009

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    Yes I Am An Army Veteran!! But Never Been To War!!! And Have Ptsd!!

    Anybody out there that makes you feel as if you were wrong or week for dealing with PTSD, simply because you have never been to war, is just ignorant. Yes I am an army veteran, and I have PTSD. I was fortunate enough to never be in a war zone. No instead I have PTSD that's the...
    mamatou0000 mamatou0000 31-35 2 Responses Feb 9, 2013

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    I have been battling depression

    since high school, PTSD since high school, and anxiety all my life. More recently (over the past 2.5 yrs) I have had many melt downs and have hit the breaking point at least once already. I had dealt with a break up, my mom possibly having cancer again, a pet's death, then what...
    tig1991 tig1991 22-25, F a week ago

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    Well I been talking to a great women loving,

    caring and understanding!! Only problem is that she gets upset faster and snaps at me!! The thing is that since we are both with PTSD and Bipolar !! We help each other out, only thing is when she snaps at me it hurts my feeling, I do not get mad or anything. Then when we talk...
    111888my 111888my 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 23

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    My Forray Into The Darken World Beyond....

    The Drunken sailor, that should have drowned!!! the beginnings of downfall into PTSD 1   It's March 75 and My Submarine, with two others, are currently tide up to a support tender ship, in the middle of the Mediterranean .  We're to take on provisions...
    Randysdot Randysdot 51-55, M 3 Responses Oct 19, 2009

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    Nerves Of Cobwebs

     You know, I don't even remember if I've posted here before. I have such a wonderful brain. I really hate posting in these types of threads . I usually try to keep my pity posts to my blog. I just had to speak on the phone twice and I was testing an online game and somone...
    bitterdregs bitterdregs 46-50, F 5 Responses Nov 10, 2009

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    I was married to a monster 2 yrs

    after we were married he began using drugs he became controlling the abusive I can still remember the first time he beat me like it was yesterday. He was drunk he broke my jaw and pretty sure a rib or 2 our 3 yr old son was watching. When theguy next door called the cops he...
    terriw12 terriw12 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 24

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    Road Block'S At Every Turn

    This is one of those random things I decided to post on a whim… I posted a similar version of this on a different group, but wanted to share it here as well. Unless you have suffered from anxiety, depression, or panic attacks it’s really hard to explain. For me, there is...
    HayBail HayBail 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 24, 2013

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    I'm Foxaaaay Again!

    This will be a very shallow post but I want to share it with the great people of EP.Well I went through a very stressful time. It lasted for about 5 years and you know, no matter how strong you are or how positive you are towards life, the pain starts to show on your face. They...
    DcreativeBUG DcreativeBUG 22-25 2 Responses Jul 19, 2013

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    I worry I will lose my life to depression.

    But I can't find a way out. Sometimes I can have a good day when I can manage the depression or a couple in a row, but I never make it more than a week or so. I always start to spiral downwards again. It's been years now, how much longer?
    Kitty4190 Kitty4190 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 20

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    Dealing With It...

    Dealing with... Heart palpitations Racing thoughts(though that's not new) Cold sweats Hot and cold flashes Tightness in throat Hyper vigilance Easily startled by loud noises(esp. Men yelling) Feeling constantly on the defense Angry for no reason, oh there's reasons... Ice cold...
    Catsoutdabag Catsoutdabag 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 26, 2013

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    What is a Panic AttackA very important question

    if you're struggling with this condition. You should really understanding exactly what's going on behind the scenes.So what is a PA?A sudden feeling of acute and disabling anxiety.`Ok, that's the textbook definition, but i don't think that clears things up too much so let's go l...
    Lifeafterpanic566 Lifeafterpanic566 31-35, M Feb 23

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    My Life, Hell On Earth.

    I guess I will just outline a few details of my life. My dad married a woman he said he wouldn't marry. One of the first lies I remember him telling me. That didn' t hurt as bad as the beatings that she gave me, or the emotional trauma I would face in the coming years. My...
    EmptyFigureHead EmptyFigureHead 36-40, F 4 Responses May 4, 2012

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    I need someone to talk to I was married to a man

    that beat me for 16 yrs I can't stop having nightmares about what he did to me I am now remarried and very happy so why don't the dreams stop?
    terriw12 terriw12 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 24

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    Lost In Life

    In 2009 my husband and I had twins. We lived in Virginia on a military base and in 2010 we lost one of our twins when he was taking a nap. When I called 911 I was giving CPR to my 3 month old child during the time it took for the ambulance to get there. We went to the hospital...
    lostsoul2010 lostsoul2010 22-25, F 5 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    I was raped when I was 8 I have an eating

    disorder I can't sleep at night without waking up screaming I'm on anti depressants I'm really done with trying to keep going I'm in foster care and I can't take it I started cutting last year I'm Suicidal
    sexybear35 sexybear35 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 2

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    Related Experiences

    Sometimes I get really upset about the mental "illnesses" that I have because I am not a soldier yet I have PTSD, I have not had the worst life ever, yet I have depression, anxiety...
    Lifebugzme Lifebugzme 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 6