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I Have Ptsd

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,998 People

    I have ptsd... This is the second time I've

    actually admitted it out loud. First time was to my roommates last year... I remember one saying, "But you act so normal!"... Or do I? Maybe i've learnt to just cover it up well. I saw a psychologist for 5 straight years (from age 13 to 18)... It did help; from sleeping 2hrs...
    khayati khayati 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 17, 2014

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    Battle Scars

    I have PTSD. It doesn't control me anymore. It may wake me up rudely at night several times a week. But not as severely as once before. I have had some horrific experiences. Seen unspeakable things. But for the most part it has made me stronger. When I first came home I was an...
    Ssgsmith77 Ssgsmith77 31-35, M 5 Responses Nov 8, 2013

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    I've just been diagnosed with PTSD

    and im terrified about therapy :/
    laulaulauuu laulaulauuu 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 1

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    More people need to talk about PTSD

    when they have it. I tried for so long to "keep it together". Then at work one day I was making tea for me and my friend when I just started crying uncontrollably. She sat me down and I told her everything. She cuddled me and said she wished I'd told her sooner so she could help...
    strawberryblonde89 strawberryblonde89 22-25, F 6 Responses Jan 5

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    I had bad day yesterday.

    I was triggered off and on all day. I could feel emotions and memories that were repressed I think. I was adult self but I felt small and scared and childlike. What's that mean when that happens? No switching happened but I felt close to dissociation. Partial dissociation at...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    My flashbacks are really bad tonight

    and I'm scared i'll lose touch with reality completely. There's nothing I want more than to feel safe...
    kayelani kayelani 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    Art alexakis is playing at the roxy in l.

    a. Tomorrow night for his solo tour. So stoked. Everclear is one of those bands that got me through some sh*t. Hoping I can get myself to be okay enough to leave my house. I just get so anxious and scared to be around people and of the wrong people feeding off of my energy when I...
    causticaxiom causticaxiom 26-30, F Dec 16, 2014

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    I have PTSD as a result of abuse.

    I have been able to survive most of the effects of it. Here's how shows I watch, if it has something in the show that makes me want to close my eyes or run to the other room, my example: Law and Order special victims, I spit on your grave, burning beds. These types I don't...
    hopeful72 hopeful72 41-45, F 3 Responses Dec 12, 2014

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    Heres my storey. I was in an abusive

    relationship for almost 4yrs. He was narcissistic. He was controlling and everything had to go his way all the time. There were expectations of perfection or there was harsh criticism and punishment. Everything that brought enjoyment was smashed and by the end I was referring to...
    Imnotdillusional Imnotdillusional 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 1

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    Having a bad night...

    Thought I was over my ptsd but tonight just proved it's still alive and kicking! :/
    EmptySmokeClouds EmptySmokeClouds 18-21, F 7 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    I Need Help Tonight!

    MY wife went to sleep hours ago, when she did I joined her....As I sleeped I was dreaming of cars and women I guess like most men. In this dream I heard a bang like a gun shoot..When I looked at the red head that was thereit wasn't her but a solider and he was...
    longgun longgun 31-35, M 10 Responses Aug 8, 2008

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    I thought I got rid of all those damn nightmares

    when I started on sleeping meds. Well, guess what. They have found their way back into my head.. Two months I was almost nightmare free. Now they're worse than ever. I'm afraid to go to sleep again.. I don't want this anymore.. On wednesday I will start my EMDR treatment. That...
    Quibbler Quibbler 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 3

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    I hate when someone says

    that they went through a traumatic event nonchalant around people they don't even know just to get attention from people. If you really went through that event, you wouldn't brag about it like a Merritt badge. You would keep the knowledge to yourself and those close to you...
    Thingsunseen Thingsunseen 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 13

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    Actually, C-PTSD. Does anyone else here have

    it? The "C" stands for complex, meaning my issues don't stem from a single event (i.e. an attack, short period of war) but rather from multiple years of recurring trauma in my childhood. I grew up in a very toxic environment and most of the time from before I was 11 years old...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Sep 8, 2014

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    Fall semester 2014, I met a freshman at the

    start-of-year barbecue hosted by my department. He was standing next to one of my friends and, like most out-of-state kids, didn't know anyone. I remember what it was like last year when I was a freshman myself. I wanted to meet new people and not feel so awkward and adjust...
    chastitygrove chastitygrove 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    i testified in front of a grand jury yesterday

    about the attack. im having a really hard day.
    elisa3980 elisa3980 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 15

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    it sucks when u find someone

    who understands what you are going through and then they just go away like they don't know how that feels ptsd is ruining my life I'm going off the edge fast
    sapper325 sapper325 18-21, M 6 Responses Jan 3

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    I tried all kinds of treatments

    for PTSD... I would isolate myself from people in order to avoid being triggered, sought out counseling numerous times which could only help so much until I discovered EMDR. It took 2 years and I made so much progress... then I needed a break, but went back again after a couple...
    msr721 msr721 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    School And Dating Does It

    i was abused at school for many years as a kids by many women..then again i had to deal with abuse and racism in the dating world from 2009 to 2012.im just here to vent..i was a normal guy,but after dating for so many years and having to deal with all those lies and let downs...
    irongrenadier irongrenadier 26-30, M 4 Responses Feb 8, 2012

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    I know what its like,

    you're not alone. I've been in therapy for about 8 years now, and I still suffer. I, too, was abused by my family, friends, and even an entire town. Children can be cruel to each other, but when the victim is blamed for their own suffering, that kind of thing is hard to...
    notyourfuckdoll notyourfuckdoll 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 9, 2014

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    "So Go On, Infect Me. Go On And Scare Me To Death. I'll Be The Victim; You'll Be The Voice In My Head."

    . She spoke of doorknobs once, but I don't remember what she said. I don't remember, was there horror? Was it so chilling, that the blood left their faces? So pallid and grey. Don't touch them, erase their smiles from your mind. You know they'll leave you here, eat you here...
    SheistheLorax SheistheLorax 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 9, 2010

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    When I was 16 I was abducted.

    The was held for a little over an hour and terrorized by being told what was going to happen to me. I was actually able to escape before any of that happened but it has haunted me since. I have a lot of irrational fears, I don't like to be left alone at night, scared to be in...
    abigailc abigailc 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 14, 2014

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    Funny Thing They Are, Those Brains of Ours

    the brain is a mysterious thing, it is.  considering the technology developed in the last 100 yrs we still know very little about it. i was in an accident in feb '04.  i developed a 'condition' due to the injury.  one of the side affects being memory loss. ...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 6 Responses Aug 29, 2007

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    A Soldier Returns Home, Honest Account Of Living With Ptsd. Psychology Homework July 2010

    17July2010 By Charles Scott In this weeks homework assignment I was tasked with the objective to explain a behavior that would be considered strange, unusual and/or abnormal. I have chosen to recall my own experiences and attempt to explain the cause and effects of Post...
    autonomous138 autonomous138 26-30, M 2 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    I was molested when I was 6 by my baby sitters

    son. I was date raped twice. I have been physically and emotionally abused by a past boy friend. I never said a word to anyone. I hid within myself and hid my past. I am taking an enormous step today writing my story down. The only people that knew we're my therapist and my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    I have very bad PTSD,

    possibly C-PTSD. I also have been diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder), ADHD, personality disorder NOS, anorexia nervosa, and undiagnosed dissociative issues. I've received these diagnoses between the ages of 9-22. But I don't put too much stock into labels so much. I...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 17

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    I learned the hard way not to let just anyone

    who does not understand PTSD into my life. I have been told that it is all in my head and I can control it. I have been told I was crazy. Both of these hurt. It already hurts that I CAN NOT control it. I feel like I will never have a normal life. I feel like there is always...
    Imnotdillusional Imnotdillusional 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 1

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    Access To Euthansia.

    I was answering a question regarding access to Euthanasia, thought it was a little too long so made it a story.Firstly got to say I'm really sorry to everyone if I get my words a little mixed up whilst writing my answer to this question. It is a question that stirs so many...
    Kurlysue Kurlysue 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 19, 2012

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    I have been in treatment

    for a very long time, mostly with a therapist that was able to help me to survive for many years and not kill myself. actually she did a lot more than that. she helped me create a life where I had some success in my career, gave birth to the most incredible two children, who I...
    mrecovery mrecovery 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    They say that you often repeat what you are

    used to. This cage is all I know.  Why is it that it seems like such a risk to leave it?  The only one who is now keeping me here is myself just like a bird in a gilded cage....with the door wide open.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_TvaJulWx0
    dollysworld dollysworld 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    Visual Aid

    I created this to give people some idea what it feels like for me to be slammed with PTSD.
    Konrad Konrad 22-25, M 7 Responses May 16, 2009

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    elisa3980 elisa3980 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 16

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    I was diagnosed with PTSD

    as a child, however because I am PTSD, I've developed DID as a bi product.
    Thingsunseen Thingsunseen 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 30, 2014

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    I have PTSD and some days it can be quite a

    struggle, but I work really hard to control my reactions.
    Leofflaed Leofflaed 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I am/will be doing group

    and individual therapy throughout the course of a year at the hospital.
    octopieyes octopieyes 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 15, 2014

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    Just a text ruins my day.

    The minute I see that name my heart jumps, and I start to tremble. I'll be that way the rest of that day. Fearing each time my phone makes a noise. I can't block it, long story. Though I'd love to. Then the nightmares. I wake up sobbing. Shouldn't this stop by now? It's been...
    ThisBeautifulChaos ThisBeautifulChaos 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 4

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    My Guilt Feelings

    Sometimes when I hear or read things about guilt if I do not run from it right away I start to think about what I may have done to people and children in Vietnam. I actually made napalm to be dropped on the enemy, I know it saved a lot of American lives and when it exploded the...
    Pmacphoto Pmacphoto 66-70, M 3 Responses Jun 14, 2013

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    It brought back so much.

    Just dialing those numbers again. Calling my mom again, seeing her run from her car to the house upset. Seeing her torn about it, upset because it was bringing memories back for her too. Everything just flooded back, I thought it was over.
    emeikle emeikle 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 11

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    The Accident

    My name is Cat and I am currently fifteen years old. I remember this event more vividly than probably any day of my life. This is the story of the traumatic event that caused my PTSD. The date was November 11, 2006. I was nine years old at the time and there was no school for me...
    Catemily7797 Catemily7797 16-17, F 5 Responses Jan 4, 2013

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    well i made it through the night again.

    its 230pm im just waking up. my world is upside down. i need to get some help. i thought only soliders got pstd. i wish i didnt have to testify. its 2 days since the grand jury indictment and i still feel paralized
    elisa3980 elisa3980 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 16

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    Yes I have it and I hate it,

    I want to get help but sometimes I don't want help from others. I realized lately I start to get depressed for no reason and I am sometimes irritable for no reason. I avoid any thing that can lead to sex or any sexual situation, I'm slowly detaching myself from friends and family...
    AJMClassof2014 AJMClassof2014 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    Static

    Static, Part 1 of 3 If you  can afford irony, you’re doing alright.     Its not that the stretching hours between the two times didn’t matter. It happened, the collective events are part of the soul. It matters. Even calling...
    troutlily troutlily 61-65, M 2 Responses Feb 26, 2010

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    Well This Sucks.

    I mean.... the second I believe I'm happy I seem to get to relaxed and then triggered.... Then I go into superstition mode and carry around a rabbits foot etc...  say prayers before I get in my car... write prayers on my body when i go places  When will it end? I'm so tired...
    1ItalianLady 1ItalianLady 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 24, 2011

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    ok i dont want to go to sleep cause i get its

    like a strob light of memories.
    elisa3980 elisa3980 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 16

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    well i started kickboxing again yesterday.

    im starting to feel better since the attack. i was pretty down there for a few months. hopefully my son will stay shining.
    elisa3980 elisa3980 31-35, F 15 hrs ago

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    Dear mom. I hope you can see it,

    one day. I hope you can see all the scars I'm wearing. All the hurt I have experienced. All the pain and anger I'm feeling. All these things I can't get a hold of because I don't know how too keep living my life. I don't want to kill my self... I have to many to live for - so I...
    haileycuddlebug haileycuddlebug 18-21, F 2 Responses May 28, 2014

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    I just have a question.

    At one point in my life I had a lot of bad things happen to me. Because I was embarrassed and completely ashamed of it all I never talked about it to anyone.over a period of about 12 years I continually got more depressed. Everyone I knew told me I was the most sad and negative...
    bandit2398 bandit2398 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 5

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    About Ptsd

    I have studied a lot about this, being a scientifically minded person, since I was diagnosed in my 20s. If you have questions, please feel free to ask me, and I promise, what I don't know, I won't make up :) There are some clear indicators, also physical reasons why those with...
    simplygirl simplygirl 46-50, F 10 Responses Jun 24, 2012

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    Yep I do! I was always one of those people

    who thought PTSD was all in your head. A fake syndrome just to get attention. Well I got a wake up call! I got into a head on car accident back in April. Both of us doing around 55-60. Luckily I'm alive. I had a shattered wrist and a broken leg. Compound fracture (where your...
    LetsGetDogWeird LetsGetDogWeird 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    This woman was making these moaning sounds

    because of the cold. I almost went berserk. Like stfu. The noises were like knives in my ears. And I just got so ANGRY and couldn't really see anything. I was thrown back in the past. I would've done anything to make that noise stop.
    Acebo Acebo 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 11

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    I Was Attacked Again

    It's been a while since I was physically attacked but it happened again last night. Let me start by saying I was once hit by a car and this causes me a lot of fear when I cross the street and cars play race the pedestrian. So last night I was crossing the street shortly after...
    AngelaDark AngelaDark 31-35, F 5 Responses May 4, 2013

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