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I Have Ptsd

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,481 People

    I was fifteen, and last fall,

    my sister got incredibly sick. She had always been sick with ulcerative colitis, and it had never affected me. This time was different. Every three hours on the dot the spasms would start. Her whole body would writhe and shake in excruciating pain. Her screams could be heard on...
    kmviolinist kmviolinist 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 10

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    My Guilt Feelings

    Sometimes when I hear or read things about guilt if I do not run from it right away I start to think about what I may have done to people and children in Vietnam. I actually made napalm to be dropped on the enemy, I know it saved a lot of American lives and when it exploded the...
    Pmacphoto Pmacphoto 66-70, M 3 Responses Jun 14, 2013

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    Info On Ptsd & Did

    What is PTSD?   Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that a person may develop after experiencing or witnessing an extreme, overwhelming traumatic event during which they felt intense fear, helplessness, or horror. The dominant features of...
    Whateverrrrr Whateverrrrr 36-40, F 5 Responses Dec 19, 2010

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    PTSD has ruined my life.

    I refuse to take medication because of the dependency aspect. And it seems no amount of therapy is making a dent. It's been 4 months and I cry everyday as if it happened yesterday. I'm terrified to move on with my life and unable to cope with the things that have happened to me...
    SC27 SC27 26-30, F 7 Responses Feb 17

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    A Lifelong Struggle!

      I have suffered from PTSD long before it was even classified as a diagnosis! Although it's roots are based in a miserable, abusive childhood, it didn't begin to interfere with my ability to function until I was in the Navy. I was officially discharged in 1973 with...
    gsryoga gsryoga 56-60, M 5 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    At least I'm pretty sure I do.

    I have not been diagnosed by a medical doctor but this would really make the most sense. I'm in a low phase right now, I'm moody, hate everything, can't stand to be touched, news of the poor people in Palestine sends my head spinning and I lash out at my boyfriend for putting...
    123sotired 123sotired 31-35 Aug 3

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    Static

    Static, Part 1 of 3 If you  can afford irony, you’re doing alright.     Its not that the stretching hours between the two times didn’t matter. It happened, the collective events are part of the soul. It matters. Even calling...
    troutlily troutlily 61-65, M 2 Responses Feb 26, 2010

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    June is PTSD awareness month

    and June 27, 2014 is PTSD awareness day. More people need to understand what ptsd is and it's effects on others.
    myrandomthoughts101 myrandomthoughts101 36-40, M 1 Response Jun 8

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    I need to be to work in 3 hours

    and I'm terrified. I don't know if I can mentally handle it.
    AlleywayGospel AlleywayGospel 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 15

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    Admitting

    I have been in denial for many years that I have PTSD. I have been in and out of the military since 1985. Uncle Sam seems to think that Ski is needed when the country is in trouble. I have been in 8 different combat zones in my life in the military. I have seen and had to do so...
    skiinkaf skiinkaf 41-45, M 8 Responses Oct 8, 2011

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    When I was younger I joined the US Army,

    thinking how great it would be to serve my country. Well after basic training we were given a mentality about when we get to our unit we will deploy go to war and get shot in the face. So everything became about being prepared to die. Needless to say I am still alive. I joined...
    Titanmeatcat Titanmeatcat 26-30 2 Responses Jul 19

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    At the time i was 18

    and fresh out of the fire academy and never seen a dead body outside of a cardiac arrest then in October i responded to the i-40 bus wreck killing 6 from a bus a truck driver and someone coming home from fishing with his family this really effected me in a way i couldnt imagine...
    thubb1228 thubb1228 18-21, M 1 Response May 31

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    A Soldier Returns Home, Honest Account Of Living With Ptsd. Psychology Homework July 2010

    17July2010 By Charles Scott In this weeks homework assignment I was tasked with the objective to explain a behavior that would be considered strange, unusual and/or abnormal. I have chosen to recall my own experiences and attempt to explain the cause and effects of Post...
    autonomous138 autonomous138 26-30, M 2 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    My flashbacks are really bad tonight

    and I'm scared i'll lose touch with reality completely. There's nothing I want more than to feel safe...
    kayelani kayelani 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 2

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    Access To Euthansia.

    I was answering a question regarding access to Euthanasia, thought it was a little too long so made it a story.Firstly got to say I'm really sorry to everyone if I get my words a little mixed up whilst writing my answer to this question. It is a question that stirs so many...
    Kurlysue Kurlysue 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 19, 2012

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    Recently I was diagnosed with PTSD im still

    finding it hard coming to terms with knowing I have it but i know if i take it 1 day at a time and can get thru it and beat it :) so can anyone else
    kimmy24 kimmy24 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 18

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    I'm 20 and, last week,

    I crashed my car in a rainy night with four childern onboard (I worked as a summer camp counsellor, it was an emergency). Nobody got hurt, though I still wake up hearing them scream, seeing the scene all over again, and I burst into tears uncontrollably any time I only think of...
    Angel7Enigma Angel7Enigma 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 16

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    My Boyfriend Killed Himself In Front Of Me.

    I just joined this group, so I'm not sure what it's really all about... I guess  this is the part where I share my story, so here goes... Two years ago when i was 16, my boyfriend shot himself in front of me. We had been dating on/off for about two and a half years. We were...
    jayk09 jayk09 18-21, F 53 Responses Feb 14, 2010

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    I was diagnosed today

    for PTSD PASS & depression. My dr wants me to take an anti depression because I know I can't handle what's going on by myself.. But has anyone else tried more holistic methods that have worked other than medicating yourself? Or maybe some really great stories about medications...
    kros10 kros10 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 18

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    Dear mom. I hope you can see it,

    one day. I hope you can see all the scars I'm wearing. All the hurt I have experienced. All the pain and anger I'm feeling. All these things I can't get a hold of because I don't know how too keep living my life. I don't want to kill my self... I have to many to live for - so I...
    haileycuddlebug haileycuddlebug 18-21, F 1 Response May 28

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    I Was Attacked Again

    It's been a while since I was physically attacked but it happened again last night. Let me start by saying I was once hit by a car and this causes me a lot of fear when I cross the street and cars play race the pedestrian. So last night I was crossing the street shortly after...
    AngelaDark AngelaDark 31-35, F 5 Responses May 4, 2013

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    Hello darkness, my old friend,

    I've come to talk with you again, Because a vision softly creeping, Left its seeds while I was sleeping, And the vision that was planted in my brain. Still remains, Within the sound of silence. In restless dreams I walked alone, Narrow streets of cobblestone, neath the halo of a...
    J4cob J4cob 22-25, M 4 Responses May 4

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    Briinx Briinx 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 3

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    when i was 16 i was attacked

    and ever since i have had flashbacks, panic attacks and hear voices, i also have a range of other mental health problems aswell, never thought an incident at the age of 16 would give me this horrible condition. it is truely horrible and my thoughts go out to all that suffer...
    fantasycaver fantasycaver 22-25, F 5 Responses Aug 2

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    When I was 11 years old,

    I moved to a new town and lived in the "ghetto." I had never felt accepted at my old school, so I made sure to get into whatever group would accept me. I fell in with this group of kids that were "trouble". One day we went to one of their houses, his name was Josh. When we went...
    hiself hiself 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 5

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    Well This Sucks.

    I mean.... the second I believe I'm happy I seem to get to relaxed and then triggered.... Then I go into superstition mode and carry around a rabbits foot etc...  say prayers before I get in my car... write prayers on my body when i go places  When will it end? I'm so tired...
    1ItalianLady 1ItalianLady 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 24, 2011

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    Well here it goes....

    On the night of November 19th my then fiance and I went out on a date night to mend our relationship. We have a one year old son together. Im 21 and hes 27. He struggled from bi polar 1 and 2 (which i had no idea about). We went out to dinner and he invited another couple. I was...
    tbkerfoot tbkerfoot 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 4

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    About Ptsd

    I have studied a lot about this, being a scientifically minded person, since I was diagnosed in my 20s. If you have questions, please feel free to ask me, and I promise, what I don't know, I won't make up :) There are some clear indicators, also physical reasons why those with...
    simplygirl simplygirl 46-50, F 10 Responses Jun 24, 2012

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    School And Dating Does It

    i was abused at school for many years as a kids by many women..then again i had to deal with abuse and racism in the dating world from 2009 to 2012.im just here to vent..i was a normal guy,but after dating for so many years and having to deal with all those lies and let downs...
    irongrenadier irongrenadier 26-30, M 4 Responses Feb 8, 2012

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    I have ptsd... This is the second time I've

    actually admitted it out loud. First time was to my roommates last year... I remember one saying, "But you act so normal!"... Or do I? Maybe i've learnt to just cover it up well. I saw a psychologist for 5 straight years (from age 13 to 18)... It did help; from sleeping 2hrs...
    khayati khayati 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 17

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    I Fight Suicide Everyday: Everyday

    before the electric rooster crows and before I wipe my eyes and scratch my balls I am taunted by the horrors that rage. I see the bodies and feel the heat of the consuming fireball that slows time to a crawl. The screams get louder and louder as the sound of the deafening...
    SignalSarge SignalSarge 46-50, M 4 Responses Jul 5

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    I have PTSD. It's from probably too many things

    to list. I started having startle reflex and night terrors when I was 15. I had a few incidents I could've lived without. I was raped when I was 16. I had not one but two stalkers. One was a girl when I was 17. She would sit outside my house in her car. Sit outside of my class...
    KMheremnow94 KMheremnow94 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 10

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    I hate it,night mares,

    flash backs, sleeplessness, sweets, anger. Its cost me friends, family don't understand, I've even gotten into fights at bars and restaurants with people. I've picked people up out of chairs and slammed them against walls and Windows
    fire1019 fire1019 26-30, M 2 Responses Jul 12

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    My boyfriend would stand in front of the door

    and not let me out. He would take the keys, my phone out of my hand with a grin on his face. Grab my arm to keep me from walking away. He enjoyed making me feel smaller then him. This did something to my brain, now when ever I feel like I might be in a vulnerable situation I go...
    Imnotdillusional Imnotdillusional 31-35, F 4 Responses May 12

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    2 years ago I was attacked by my own family,

    a family member committed suicide then found a man hanging at work. All this happened in a matter of 6 months. I completely broke down in the shower and before I knew it there was blood everywhere. I was in shock and for months afterwards I was still cutting. My sister...
    leesalush leesalush 36-40, F 2 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    "So Go On, Infect Me. Go On And Scare Me To Death. I'll Be The Victim; You'll Be The Voice In My Head."

    . She spoke of doorknobs once, but I don't remember what she said. I don't remember, was there horror? Was it so chilling, that the blood left their faces? So pallid and grey. Don't touch them, erase their smiles from your mind. You know they'll leave you here, eat you here...
    SheistheLorax SheistheLorax 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 9, 2010

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    I Need Help Tonight!

    MY wife went to sleep hours ago, when she did I joined her....As I sleeped I was dreaming of cars and women I guess like most men. In this dream I heard a bang like a gun shoot..When I looked at the red head that was thereit wasn't her but a solider and he was...
    longgun longgun 31-35, M 10 Responses Aug 8, 2008

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    It has been about four months

    since my boyfriend of one year committed suicide in front of me. It started in the morning he had already started drinking. I went to work at 12 and he came up to my work and was drunk I had to ask him to go home because he couldn't be at my work drunk. He went home and I was...
    kathytrip kathytrip 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    What is PTSD to me? Not remembering the last

    time I slept without bad dreams. Being woken by thunderstorms and finding myself face down on the floor, my hands covering my head. Memories so strong I can taste, smell and hear them. Having those around me refuse to wake me by physically touching me. Waking every time...
    Nofearz Nofearz 41-45, M 1 Response Jun 10

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    They say that you often repeat what you are

    used to. This cage is all I know.  Why is it that it seems like such a risk to leave it?  The only one who is now keeping me here is myself just like a bird in a gilded cage....with the door wide open.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_TvaJulWx0
    dollysworld dollysworld 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    When I was 6 years old my stepdad

    and my mom were having really bad relationship problems and they decided to get a divorce.. So one night he decided to come to out house (drunk) and he beat my mom with a baseball bat. I was sleeping in the room with her and I woke up to him hitting her with the bat, ALOT of it...
    meaghan334 meaghan334 16-17, F 6 Responses Mar 29

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    Haunting my sleep, Not

    even one night of peace. Frantically searching, piles of debris. Steel twisted, girders bent, concrete rubble, houses mangled, hours spent. Searching, seeking, where are you hiding? Twisted cars, iron bars, can't escape these mental scars. Searching, seeking, never finding...
    michael1971 michael1971 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 12

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    The Accident

    My name is Cat and I am currently fifteen years old. I remember this event more vividly than probably any day of my life. This is the story of the traumatic event that caused my PTSD. The date was November 11, 2006. I was nine years old at the time and there was no school for me...
    Catemily7797 Catemily7797 16-17, F 5 Responses Jan 4, 2013

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    Into myself, I fall and I feel what I thought

    to be reality slipping away. The tremors start and all fades to black. Meaning is lost in a torrent of confusion and the panic hits. Where I am isn't even a question because I don't even recognize who I am in that moment. It's not the fear of dying, but the fear in dying...
    Aurinne Aurinne 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    Funny Thing They Are, Those Brains of Ours

    the brain is a mysterious thing, it is.  considering the technology developed in the last 100 yrs we still know very little about it. i was in an accident in feb '04.  i developed a 'condition' due to the injury.  one of the side affects being memory loss. ...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 6 Responses Aug 29, 2007

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    When I was 16 I was abducted.

    The was held for a little over an hour and terrorized by being told what was going to happen to me. I was actually able to escape before any of that happened but it has haunted me since. I have a lot of irrational fears, I don't like to be left alone at night, scared to be in...
    abigailc abigailc 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 14

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    It's so painful, scary

    and frightening. Worst thing that ever happened to me.
    AliBashir AliBashir 18-21, M 2 Responses May 10

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    My life is falling apart,

    I am in a foreign country and no support of friends and family. I am a survivor of childhood trauma. I worked very hard to go out of it, have a good reasonably happy life, great career and I made my dreams come true, although with a lot of struggling I made it. Few years ago...
    asia9286 asia9286 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 27

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    Battle Scars

    I have PTSD. It doesn't control me anymore. It may wake me up rudely at night several times a week. But not as severely as once before. I have had some horrific experiences. Seen unspeakable things. But for the most part it has made me stronger. When I first came home I was an...
    Ssgsmith77 Ssgsmith77 31-35, M 5 Responses Nov 8, 2013

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    Visual Aid

    I created this to give people some idea what it feels like for me to be slammed with PTSD.
    Konrad Konrad 22-25, M 7 Responses May 16, 2009

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    "Dissociative episodes are the best!

    " - said no one ever. What the stuff! Been on and off with this the last couple of days. Trying to pull myself back together. Ugh.
    AlleywayGospel AlleywayGospel 26-30, F Jul 10

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    At work we all joke about how

    if you've been there longer than 6mo-1yr, you've got mild PTSD. We joke because it's a harsh truth - we are traumatized - but it helps to laugh if off, you know? Almost a decade later, I've seen too much, heard too much. Too many times, I've seen good people get injured...
    AlleywayGospel AlleywayGospel 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 12

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    I'm barely 18, and between all the dead I've

    seen and the people who I was caring for who died, the destruction of my own personal dignity, well, why continue on? I did try to end my life once, just to escape the memories of people constantly telling me I'm not good enough, I'll never be good enough, that I'm just a waste...
    riversdiverge riversdiverge 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 16

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