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I Have Ptsd

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,448 People

    My flashbacks are really bad tonight

    and I'm scared i'll lose touch with reality completely. There's nothing I want more than to feel safe...
    kayelani kayelani 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 2, 2014

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    I finally drove last week

    for the first time in over a year, big step for me. Anxiety attacks over and over and seeing horrible accidents on the freeways didn't help my anxiety at all. Getting bad directions from friends and not know the area made things stressful but with a positive attitude and no real...
    pixieontheprairie pixieontheprairie 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 12

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    I have PTSD as a result of abuse.

    I have been able to survive most of the effects of it. Here's how shows I watch, if it has something in the show that makes me want to close my eyes or run to the other room, my example: Law and Order special victims, I spit on your grave, burning beds. These types I don't...
    hopeful72 hopeful72 41-45, F 3 Responses Dec 12, 2014

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    My ptsd gets worse each time i make a claim

    with the va.i swear this time i have been dishing out my whole life story and it has been one big *** train wreck of adventure and sorrow. putting it all on a timeline has been cathartic but the pain the pain for me is gut wrenching. i am so stoned on the weed and the va drugs...
    LITVET LITVET 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 10

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    i just went off on my husband again

    but dang i am so tired of the constant struggle to keep everyone in this house cohesive. i mean i just got out of the hospital last week and i an not supposed to drive. my daughter drive me to my doctors appoint then her car over heated on the way home. DRAMA ENSUED. Son-in-law...
    LITVET LITVET 41-45, F 4 Responses May 26

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    My Guilt Feelings

    Sometimes when I hear or read things about guilt if I do not run from it right away I start to think about what I may have done to people and children in Vietnam. I actually made napalm to be dropped on the enemy, I know it saved a lot of American lives and when it exploded the...
    Pmacphoto Pmacphoto 66-70, M 3 Responses Jun 14, 2013

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    Everytime I see my stepfather,

    I always clench my jaw because there is so much I want to say to him... but I don't because I know him. He will never admit fault for anything... There are even days where I'd fantasize about him provoking me one more time so I can show him a piece of my mind... But it doesn't...
    VortexEmitter VortexEmitter 26-30, M 3 Responses May 26

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    I had a horrible experience

    when I was thirteen in a different country and now I can't even listen to the language without flashbacks.
    elephant608 elephant608 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    when i was 13 i saw my childhood best friend

    get shot and her dad pull the gun on himself.
    LadyTigeress76 LadyTigeress76 36-40, F 3 Responses Jun 24

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    Ugg! A friend posted this.

    ..I was in tears! http://biblicalgenderroles.com/2015/05/16/is-a-husband-selfish-for-having-sex-with-his-wife-when-she-is-not-the-mood/ Thank fully hubby says that guy is a clown!
    teadiva teadiva 31-35, F 1 Response May 19

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    emmadarko emmadarko 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 26

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    Visual Aid

    I created this to give people some idea what it feels like for me to be slammed with PTSD.
    Konrad Konrad 22-25, M 7 Responses May 16, 2009

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    I'm just getting out of an abusive marriage of

    almost seven years. This last incident I came closer to death then he has ever brought me. I took our two kids and left soon as I was released from the hospital.It was the hardest decision of my life but I know the right one. I have tried to avoid all emotions connected with him...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses May 2

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    They say that you often repeat what you are

    used to. This cage is all I know.  Why is it that it seems like such a risk to leave it?  The only one who is now keeping me here is myself just like a bird in a gilded cage....with the door wide open.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_TvaJulWx0
    dollysworld dollysworld 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    I'm a survivor of sexually,

    physically,mentally abused by family,police,ex. I posted ''I'm looking for survivor like me ''couple of times here or another groups in a year.. I'm appriciate for kindness. But i personally i don't want to share my very personal sensitve memory,trouma for EVERYONE. I choose...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 21

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    I've had a pretty traumatic life

    but last year topped it off... I'm not sure if I'm just becoming a ***** and really turning crazy or if these are signs of PTSD... Can somebody please help me see what this really is... I figure since everyone on here is dealing with it you would be the ones that know best... If...
    laurad86 laurad86 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 3

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    "So Go On, Infect Me. Go On And Scare Me To Death. I'll Be The Victim; You'll Be The Voice In My Head."

    . She spoke of doorknobs once, but I don't remember what she said. I don't remember, was there horror? Was it so chilling, that the blood left their faces? So pallid and grey. Don't touch them, erase their smiles from your mind. You know they'll leave you here, eat you here...
    SheistheLorax SheistheLorax 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 9, 2010

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    I was told I have PTSD around August 2014,

    along with depression and anxiety... The doctor/counselor actually told me it's a pretty severe case of all 3. It stems from my childhood, along with me being a firefighter. I guess you can still say I don't believe this is true. A part of me does... but the other part is...
    Firefighter2893 Firefighter2893 22-25, M 4 Responses Mar 30

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    Recently I have been trying to date this really

    nice guy (who I honestly don't believe would ever hurt me) but I have been noticing that the anxiety I am having about him seeing me triggered is actually becoming a trigger and sending me into episodes. I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced this fear of being...
    Khrysanthemum Khrysanthemum 31-35, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I don't know why it is

    so had for me to socialize with people at work. I go home criticizing everything I said or did that day that could be considered a social interaction. I worry about the subject of family coming up, or something happening that could trigger me. I feel so alone, so I come on...
    mrspleco mrspleco 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 20

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    I was molested when I was 6 by my baby sitters

    son. I was date raped twice. I have been physically and emotionally abused by a past boy friend. I never said a word to anyone. I hid within myself and hid my past. I am taking an enormous step today writing my story down. The only people that knew we're my therapist and my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2014

    because of the gang rape I went through and I get flash back of it when I sleep every now and then it was horrible to go through and the flash backs make me think it's the same night like I'm back there going through it again.
    kmccrady12653 kmccrady12653 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 28

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    Let's just say I was a little stupid

    when it came to using street drugs, and I had a very bad trip 2 times. The first time, I didn't have a problem after it happened. The second time I ended up getting PTSD.
    NoUserName1107 NoUserName1107 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 21

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    My Boyfriend Killed Himself In Front Of Me.

    I just joined this group, so I'm not sure what it's really all about... I guess  this is the part where I share my story, so here goes... Two years ago when i was 16, my boyfriend shot himself in front of me. We had been dating on/off for about two and a half years. We were...
    jayk09 jayk09 18-21, F 57 Responses Feb 14, 2010

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    I just feel so lost between all these thoughts.

    Gosh, I'm not asking for much, just a bit of sleep to be able to convince myself it was nothing but a bad bad dream... No matter what I do, my mind keeps slipping away into the past. I don't want these pictures in my head anymore. Medication doesn't help at all. I feel so...
    crackedwriter crackedwriter 18-21, F 5 Responses Jun 5

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    I tried to talk to a friend

    who also struggled with PTSD , and thought that he would understand, but he made a lot of comments how i can't possibly have PTSD because I was never in the service or was in the military. I battle this all the time. Told i cant possibly have ptsd because I was not in the...
    BroknGirl89 BroknGirl89 26-30, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    Info On Ptsd & Did

    What is PTSD?   Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that a person may develop after experiencing or witnessing an extreme, overwhelming traumatic event during which they felt intense fear, helplessness, or horror. The dominant features of...
    Whateverrrrr Whateverrrrr 36-40, F 8 Responses Dec 19, 2010

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    So I have this problem where

    whenever I have one bad experience associated with a certain object or place or even person, my natural instinct tells me to avoid those things altogether. A lot of them aren't even that bad. For example, when I was 4 years old, I was at the airport going to fly to Nashville...
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M 6 Responses Apr 3

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    Can I literally blame this on my pearents?

    Ok, so maybe this is not the place to joke but that is how I learned to cope. I get anxious when I think about all of my life details that allow me to sympathize with everyone here. There are a lot of amazing people on this topic string facing their trauma in a very honest way...
    1flychickie 1flychickie 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 3

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    I I was on a ship that was attacked in 1967 I

    have lived with this it seems like all my life . I have gotten so I just pack it away and forget as much as I can.
    onewrench onewrench 66-70, M 3 Responses Jun 11

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    A Soldier Returns Home, Honest Account Of Living With Ptsd. Psychology Homework July 2010

    17July2010 By Charles Scott In this weeks homework assignment I was tasked with the objective to explain a behavior that would be considered strange, unusual and/or abnormal. I have chosen to recall my own experiences and attempt to explain the cause and effects of Post...
    autonomous138 autonomous138 26-30, M 2 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    I'm crazy. There's something wrong with me.

    It's incomprehensible, how can anyone understand, and accept it, accept me? I have to hide it. A dirty secret. I wish these scars didn't show so much. I wish I wasn't so wrong. I can't accept these four letters as a magical explanation, a solution, an "everything will be okay...
    SkyChevalier SkyChevalier 22-25, T 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    Right this is the first time I've used this

    and gunna just get this out there that I have PTSD, damn that feels good to even get that out on paper 😊, Basically I was stabbed 3 times by a gang who thought I was someone who stole their weed, now 3 years later and hundreds of stitches later I still wake up in panic and...
    thomasxoxo thomasxoxo 18-21, M 3 Responses Apr 6

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    Why is it when things are going

    so well, do I feel so sad.
    Ohsingmysoul Ohsingmysoul 46-50, F 3 Responses Jun 8

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    I will live with this forever due to abusive

    relationships. One relationship in particular is my son's father. He was in special forces. He is the love of my life and I will always be there for him, but he has mind ****** me so bad.
    maemae208 maemae208 26-30, F 7 Responses Mar 9

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    About Ptsd

    I have studied a lot about this, being a scientifically minded person, since I was diagnosed in my 20s. If you have questions, please feel free to ask me, and I promise, what I don't know, I won't make up :) There are some clear indicators, also physical reasons why those with...
    simplygirl simplygirl 46-50, F 10 Responses Jun 24, 2012

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    School And Dating Does It

    i was abused at school for many years as a kids by many women..then again i had to deal with abuse and racism in the dating world from 2009 to 2012.im just here to vent..i was a normal guy,but after dating for so many years and having to deal with all those lies and let downs...
    irongrenadier irongrenadier 26-30, M 4 Responses Feb 8, 2012

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    Admitting

    I have been in denial for many years that I have PTSD. I have been in and out of the military since 1985. Uncle Sam seems to think that Ski is needed when the country is in trouble. I have been in 8 different combat zones in my life in the military. I have seen and had to do so...
    skiinkaf skiinkaf 41-45, M 8 Responses Oct 8, 2011

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    Flashbacks that make you hold your head with

    horror. I have those! Anyone else?
    KoopyKoop KoopyKoop 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 3

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    I had a flashback last night at the end of a

    DBT group. Excellent timing. We were doing mindfulness with flowers. A particular spray of them caught my eye and it felt as though someone had thrown a bucket of icewater over my head. Pain in my chest and pelvic floor. The buds of these flowers make a popping sound when you...
    evawar evawar 26-30, F 1 Response May 26

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    I have ptsd... This is the second time I've

    actually admitted it out loud. First time was to my roommates last year... I remember one saying, "But you act so normal!"... Or do I? Maybe i've learnt to just cover it up well. I saw a psychologist for 5 straight years (from age 13 to 18)... It did help; from sleeping 2hrs...
    khayati khayati 22-25, F 4 Responses Feb 17, 2014

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    I tried all kinds of treatments

    for PTSD... I would isolate myself from people in order to avoid being triggered, sought out counseling numerous times which could only help so much until I discovered EMDR. It took 2 years and I made so much progress... then I needed a break, but went back again after a couple...
    msr721 msr721 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    When I was 13 years old,

    I was up at the farm with my grandma. She was my idol growing up and still is to this day. I looked up to her and have always considered her my favorite family member. It was January 24, 2011, and I was up at the farm for Christmas; the cousins were supposed to be coming up from...
    boklenHolley7 boklenHolley7 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 25

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    Okay so I love music

    and whenever I'm in the car with my mom, we play music extremely loudly and dance like annoying teenagers (except my mom is not a teenager) and last April, my mom and I were driving home one evening and as usual, dancing and singing like crazy people. We were so into the music...
    jasminestone jasminestone 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 11

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    PTSD has ruined my life.

    I refuse to take medication because of the dependency aspect. And it seems no amount of therapy is making a dent. It's been 4 months and I cry everyday as if it happened yesterday. I'm terrified to move on with my life and unable to cope with the things that have happened to me...
    SC27 SC27 26-30, F 6 Responses Feb 17, 2014

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    I say And do thing I can't remember

    because of the fear I keep destroying all my relationships.
    Z1pp1e Z1pp1e 31-35, F Jun 26

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