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I Have Schizoaffective Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 619 People

    Hi I am Cindy I have schizoeffective bipolar

    type and I'm suffering a lot I feel high to low and see a boy I am very in love with I was at a mental hospital recently and it was horrible I just wish I could die sometimes. Everyone I know ignores me they just think I'm fine which is probably my fault for keeping my feelings...
    amicrazyornot amicrazyornot 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 25

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    I am constantly arguing with myself about what

    is real and what is a figment of my mind created by my disorder.
    ogechi98 ogechi98 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 12, 2014

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    I tried to kill myself five days ago.

    In the hospital they gave me this title, maybe an upgrade from schizophrenia? I really have no hope for a normal life. I don't even know if I can survive this.
    nicholeooo nicholeooo 22-25 4 Responses Jul 24, 2014

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    I will never forget the day

    that I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I mean, I have never been so emotional, before. I was crying for the fear of stigmas, and I was crying for the fear of my family not understanding it all. At the same time, however, I was crying for the relief that it was - I...
    ajatuksissani ajatuksissani 22-25, M 2 Responses Jun 15, 2014

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    I Am Living With Schizoaffective Disorder And I'M Beating It........

    I have been sick most all of my life. I'm forty years old now. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder first in 1999, and I was suffering from Chronic Post Tramatic Stress Disorder at that time but was not diagnosed for that until 2008. In 2003 the doctors added Schizoaffective...
    freedompride freedompride 36-40 3 Responses May 16, 2013

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    How do I tell my friends

    and loved ones that I have Schizoaffective disorder?
    ParanoidGirl ParanoidGirl 26-30 4 Responses Oct 5, 2014

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    When things are bad they are ******* terrible I

    don't want to be alone but I'm so uncomfortable around others it's like I want to be alone but I'm sad because I am it makes no sense I don't know what to do I feel like I'm slowly becoming trapped in my own mind
    twoface88 twoface88 26-30, M 2 Responses Apr 7, 2014

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    Successfully Managing Schizoaffective Disorder.

    Hi there ^_^ I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder shortly before my 18th birthday. Then when I was 19 I began hearing voices in my head. I soon thought that anyone I thought of could hear my thoughts. This would include the whole world if I simply thought of (and to) the whole...
    XSu1c1deK1ngX XSu1c1deK1ngX 22-25 3 Responses Aug 26, 2010

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    It derailed my life in a big way.

    ..I've struggled with it for the past 5 years, attempted suicide twice, and though I'm usually a pretty happy person I sometimes feel less than, shame, and regret/guilt because of it.
    elizsvot elizsvot 22-25, F 2 Responses May 9

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    You know sometimes I don't think it's possible

    for some one to love or atleast not the same way I'd love them. People threw out my life have not been the best but it's cause I keep putting my self in the same situation over and over again because I do t know what els to do. But yea honestly I don't have an opinion on day to...
    twoface88 twoface88 26-30, M Apr 29, 2014

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    hey im vanessa i have borderline personality

    disorder and schizoaffective disorder.i cant keep a job.i struggle daily.all i want to do is sleep.i feel like im not real alot and im just watching everything happen around me.does anything get easier.im losing hope.
    nessa88 nessa88 26-30, F 3 Responses May 16

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    This Is The Soundtrack Of My Life Living With Schizoaffective Disorder

    Every song I post is an excellent representation of what I went through living with Schizoaffective disorder from the very first voice to my mania to the hardships I've endured. What brought me to the faith in God who was the only one who was ever on my side which led me to peace...
    Jesusfoundme Jesusfoundme 31-35, F 4 Responses Nov 15, 2013

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    I was diagnosed as bipolar about 10 years ago,

    I stopped taking my medication about 3 months ago because the voices kept telling me it was doing bad things to my body, I've managed to go for almost 20 years without anyone knowing that I hear things. My partner got wise to the fact that there was more going on that what I...
    Deefa Deefa 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 6

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    A few nights ago I cried laying in bed.

    Four months ago I started taking a micro dose of lad and worked up waiting weeks at a time to take the next dose. It made my voices go away and my symptoms leave for the most of it. I still get a little anxious in large crowds, but I'm getting better at talking to others. I...
    Spilled Spilled 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 6

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    We Are Not Crazy. We Are Gifted.

    i think that us who are schizoaffective are not crazy or delusional. i think that we are able to see another side of life that very few can. i think we have our own perception of things and yeah maybe sometimes it gets a little screwed up. i think that ' normal ' non-schizo...
    steadybein steadybein 18-21, F 14 Responses Aug 9, 2011

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    I don't think I'd ever tell anyone

    but I might as well. I have Schizoaffective Disorder which, in a basic definition, it's like Bipolar and Schizophrenia, some people have disagreed with me but that's the basic definition of it. They say " How can you have both?" well, both are very different disorders. I have...
    BellsproutDigsIt BellsproutDigsIt 26-30, M Apr 17, 2014

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    iwas diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder,

    although i dont think i actualy have that.im going to therapy and i think it s helping. tomorrow is my first day of work i havent worked in a year.i think i might be able to keep this job,im going to give it my all. my therapys wants me take take my meds but im not mentally ill...
    weirdalex93 weirdalex93 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 17, 2014

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    Im new to this group i think.

    I havent been on n a while. After being hospitalized for a while my diagnosis became debatable. My drs didnt know if i had paranoid schizophrenia or disorganized schizophenia. After being in the hospital a while longer they changed my diagnosis to schizoaffective disorder...
    mstenorsaxplayer mstenorsaxplayer 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 29, 2014

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    What are people's suggestions

    for getting off the meds? Also key tell tale signs when you need to get back on them?
    crackleface crackleface 22-25, M 2 Responses Oct 25, 2014

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    my boyfriend has this

    and its killing me the things I've gone through with him. I'm brokenhearted and I feel guilty everyday because I want to leave him but we had a connection that's so deep I can't bear leaving him. mostly because I don't want to hurt him and I'm scared to lose him. I've never felt...
    themuffingirly themuffingirly 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 3

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    Schizoaffective disorder is ruining my grades

    and is making everyday living daunting. It feels as if i cannot go on with life.
    ogechi98 ogechi98 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 20

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    Uhhhh...

    I don't know where to begin. My heart and mind are racing because i dont know what to say. My palms are sweating. Just the act of posting my thoughts and feelings on the internet makes me scared and paranoid. I'm not the best a handling this disorder. I dont talk to anyone...
    silverhand10 silverhand10 22-25, M 7 Responses Mar 26, 2011

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    Climbing Up From Rock Bottom

    I began having mental health issues (mainly depression and an eating disorder) when I was fourteen but I was not diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder until I was 19.  It was at 19 that I began to experience severe paranoia.  Shortly after that the voices...
    CloserToFine CloserToFine 22-25, F 6 Responses Jul 19, 2008

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    Gifted Yet Difficult

    I was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was 19 but something changed in 2005 it was then when my darkness turned to light my diagnoses changed from schizophrenia to schizoaffective disorder. You see I am a Christian, I have been redeemed back in 2000 after I had sold my soul by...
    Jesusfoundme Jesusfoundme 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 25, 2012

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    A Gift?

    i've been to two psychiatrist's within the last two months; and finally that is, after waiting my whole life to come out and say something. i have routines that i do to avoid being scared. when i say scared; i mean i panic.. and freak out kindof? i like to call it "episodes...
    amberrr amberrr 16-17, F 11 Responses Dec 11, 2007

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    I dont know what to say to be honest.

    I have never been much of a conversationalist unless i'm in a really good mood. Ive been through some hectic psychotic episodes that lasted for long periods of time. Ive been well for a good while now but only recently have i actually experienced what its like to be happy even...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 19, 2014

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    So at the age 20 I was diagnosed with

    schizoaffective disorder. I have been diagnosed with a chemical imbalance since the age of seven as they did not want to label a seven year old schizophrenic. I used to throw huge fights kick hit punch then when I was calm my mum would ask why I would respond she told me too .at...
    justwanabe justwanabe 22-25, F Apr 5, 2014

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    Its' hard to suffer like this

    and its a lonely death trap
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 31, 2014

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    Hi,my names alex and i have schizoaffective

    disorder.i was working for 3 weeks as a phone operater and it didnt work out.i ended up getting to stressed out so i quit.keeping a job with a mental illness is very hard to do.has anyone with a mental illness been able to keep a job? 3 weeks is the longest ive lasted sense i...
    weirdalex93 weirdalex93 22-25, F 7 Responses Feb 20

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    The first time I had schizoaffective symptoms

    was middle school. I thought once all these disorder were caused and had completely blocked out these troubling memories. The mood problems started during my teenage years, where I remember being the most manic. Depression came in and made me forget all the psychosis, but the...
    DeludedRecovery DeludedRecovery 31-35, F Feb 11, 2014

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    This Is The Soundtrack Of My Life Living With

    Schizoaffective Disorder Every song I post is an excellent representation of what I went through living with Schizoaffective disorder from the very first voice to my mania to the hardships I've endured. What brought me to the faith in God who was the only one who was ever on my...
    Jesusfoundme Jesusfoundme 31-35, F 8 Responses Mar 24, 2014

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    A Lifetime Of Confusion

    When I was 8 years old, my parents divorced and I never felt truly happy ever again. Then when I was 10, both parents met new partners. I was living with my Dad, who told me on the Friday that he was getting married. I was overjoyed. Not only would I get a new step-brother, I...
    Gledwood Gledwood 36-40, M 4 Responses Jun 3, 2011

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    I Keep My Illness A Taboo

    It's hard being around people. I don't go to church anymore. I went to several churches in my life. A Baptist Church, Non-Denominational, no matter where I go. I keep my illness a Taboo. The last time I went to church on a regular basis, I attended bible study each week. It took...
    noaht43 noaht43 41-45, T 6 Responses Aug 24, 2012

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    I think that living with mental illness is like

    experiencing life through more than one set of eyes, like when you are checking and when you aren't. you get more than one vantage point. it can almost be a blessing in disguise to be able to see the world more than one way. I don't know about you, but I have lived with this...
    JaclynAisling87 JaclynAisling87 26-30, F 5 Responses Jun 14

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    Hi everyone! I have Schizoaffective Disorder

    Depressive Type. I'm on Escitalopram and Risperidone. I hear voices and feel things that are invisible sometimes. I noticed that it happens when I am stressed out or very depressed. Tips on how to cope with this disorder is greatly appreciated by me.
    purpleblue purpleblue 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 11

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    Does This Seem A Psychotic Episode?

    hello to everyone on this site. I have struggled with my mental health for over a year now and my diagnosis has changed from ;"first episode psychosis" to simply "severe anxiety" to "the most severe anxiety you have ever seen" to psydo psychosis to "over active imagination" to...
    alicefg alicefg 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 22, 2013

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    To those who have read my story on

    why I don't want any kids.. this is one of the reasons. I don't think it would be fair to push a child through something that I can not control, let alone live with the rest of my life. By the way, the stuff I said on that story where just a ton of thoughts and feelings I needed...
    RoyalGoldx RoyalGoldx 26-30, M Feb 1, 2014

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    So I'm trying to reach out to other people

    that schizoaffective it is fun to talk to them because I feel like they understand and sometimes they don't but it's ok also g as we are both diffrent. Normal people are usually lame. I don't know about other people that are schizoaffective but I am very picky about the company...
    twoface88 twoface88 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 14, 2014

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    I think it's time for me to come out

    and admit this. I was diagnosed at 17 with Schizoaffective Disorder. I don't like to talk about it much because it's very personal and it tends to scare a lot of people away.. but what a lot of people don't understand is that on the surface, I appear fairly normal, just like...
    BellsproutDigsIt BellsproutDigsIt 26-30, M 4 Responses Sep 6, 2014

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    There are times when I have delusions

    that I'm in hell. I had a near death experience when I was 17 years old. I caught meningitis and spent 1 week in the hospital with nurse assistance a week after. Sometimes I get in places where I believe that I died that night and I was a bad person so I'm paying the price now...
    brza1 brza1 36-40, M May 27, 2014

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    Im going insane. I hear satan tell me to kill

    everyone because no one loves me. He tells me to cut my self up because im worthless. So i cut all over my arm. I feel relieved after doing it. But satan still hates me...why? The only person that ever talks me always says horrible things about me. Even after i draw inverted...
    tec129 tec129 18-21, M 2 Responses May 12

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    My Story

    I guess it all has to do with perspective, with reality, with what we see ourselves as being, and how we cope.  I reach far into myself every day to find hope.  I pray I always have this capacity.  I need God, I need my true friends, and I need compassion for what I am and...
    Poseidon23 Poseidon23 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 24, 2011

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    I am sure that this is an unhealthy obsession.

    I'm obsessed with my illness. I talk about it all the time, I'm constantly reading and researching about it. I'm very active in Facebook groups dedicated to coping with it. I even run a Facebook page for it. I'm not sure if I need to stop or not, or if I'll find a coping...
    britsmarie britsmarie 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 12, 2014

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    My thoughts are getting the best of me.

    I merely mess up with my LGBT coordinator who was co-hosting the drag show with another guy and I didn't get anything done in time and it was totally my fault so I apologized because I know how busy he is and to play goosechase with me like that, I just felt bad in general. So...
    BellsproutDigsIt BellsproutDigsIt 26-30, M Jul 5, 2014

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    dr changed diagnosis to disorganized

    schizophrenia....again lol
    mstenorsaxplayer mstenorsaxplayer 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 27, 2014

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    I Always Knew I Was Different.

    My life is in chaos as we speak. I do have schizoaffective disorder but I am on meds and they do help. My problem besides my disorder that turns me in to a lonely weirdo is that my dear mother who always took care of me in despite of being a single mom has stage four breast...
    erilove84 erilove84 26-30, F 3 Responses Oct 19, 2013

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