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I Have Schizoaffective Disorder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 652 People

    I hear angels singing,

    despite how I get caught up in the turmoil in my mind, I hear a sweet sounding symphony that calms the storm inside of me. I can see a light shining down upon me, sometimes I catch a glimpse of a tiny little spark and I know that I will hear prophecy from another soul whom may...
    SealedWithAKisss SealedWithAKisss 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 9, 2015

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    Uhhhh...

    I don't know where to begin. My heart and mind are racing because i dont know what to say. My palms are sweating. Just the act of posting my thoughts and feelings on the internet makes me scared and paranoid. I'm not the best a handling this disorder. I dont talk to anyone...
    silverhand10 silverhand10 22-25, M 7 Responses Mar 26, 2011

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    i'm not where i would like to be yet

    but i've gotten pretty far.when i first got diagnosed i couldn't even go outside,it gave me alot of anxiety.i thought the hallucinations i had wanted me to kill myself.i would try to keep myself distracted with anything i could at home after i ran out of things to do i would...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 26, 2015

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    I Keep My Illness A Taboo

    It's hard being around people. I don't go to church anymore. I went to several churches in my life. A Baptist Church, Non-Denominational, no matter where I go. I keep my illness a Taboo. The last time I went to church on a regular basis, I attended bible study each week. It took...
    noaht43 noaht43 41-45, T 7 Responses Aug 24, 2012

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    We Are Not Crazy. We Are Gifted.

    i think that us who are schizoaffective are not crazy or delusional. i think that we are able to see another side of life that very few can. i think we have our own perception of things and yeah maybe sometimes it gets a little screwed up. i think that ' normal ' non-schizo...
    steadybein steadybein 18-21, F 14 Responses Aug 9, 2011

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    I have been exploited

    and persecuted by a group of undercovers for 15 years now and I fear that this will continue for the rest of my life. Last year they even brought in a psychic who is really a paranoid schizophrenic to spread half truthes and lies about me causing my family doctor to turn on me...
    SealedWithAKisss SealedWithAKisss 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 8, 2015

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    I don't think I'd ever tell anyone

    but I might as well. I have Schizoaffective Disorder which, in a basic definition, it's like Bipolar and Schizophrenia, some people have disagreed with me but that's the basic definition of it. They say " How can you have both?" well, both are very different disorders. I have...
    BellsproutDigsIt BellsproutDigsIt 26-30, M Apr 17, 2014

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    When things are bad they are ******* terrible I

    don't want to be alone but I'm so uncomfortable around others it's like I want to be alone but I'm sad because I am it makes no sense I don't know what to do I feel like I'm slowly becoming trapped in my own mind
    twoface88 twoface88 26-30, M 1 Response Apr 7, 2014

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    I was locked in a state hospital

    for 1 year when I was 15 then in and out until I was 21. Anyone else feel hospitals when frequent took away your best teen days sure did mine it made me fail school too
    Thewolfman0320 Thewolfman0320 22-25, M Jan 5

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    My Uncomfortable Mind....Battling Schizoaffective Disorder and PTSD

    I should probably tell you a little about myself. I have been described by friends as "sweet", "kind", and "quiet". I love animals, art, children, and life itself on the good days. I have been married to Frank for 18 years and he is the most supportive person I have ever met. Our...
    ChristineX ChristineX 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 9, 2013

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    I think it's time for me to come out

    and admit this. I was diagnosed at 17 with Schizoaffective Disorder. I don't like to talk about it much because it's very personal and it tends to scare a lot of people away.. but what a lot of people don't understand is that on the surface, I appear fairly normal, just like...
    BellsproutDigsIt BellsproutDigsIt 26-30, M 4 Responses Sep 6, 2014

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    I have been dealing with this illness Since the

    age of 16. I am 33 now. It was a HUGE turning point in my life. It changed EVERYTHING. I had 3 Head injuries, the 3rd one was a kick to the head from someone sliding into first base during a baseball game causing a contusion. 3 months later, I started having dellusions. The...
    Crazy4capoeira Crazy4capoeira 31-35, M Nov 7, 2014

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    https://myschizoaffectiveblog.

    wordpress.com Please check it out!
    LissMiss2 LissMiss2 31-35, F Sep 9, 2015

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    To those who have read my story on

    why I don't want any kids.. this is one of the reasons. I don't think it would be fair to push a child through something that I can not control, let alone live with the rest of my life. By the way, the stuff I said on that story where just a ton of thoughts and feelings I needed...
    RoyalGoldx RoyalGoldx 26-30, M Feb 1, 2014

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    The first time I had schizoaffective symptoms

    was middle school. I thought once all these disorder were caused and had completely blocked out these troubling memories. The mood problems started during my teenage years, where I remember being the most manic. Depression came in and made me forget all the psychosis, but the...
    DeludedRecovery DeludedRecovery 31-35, F Feb 11, 2014

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    Sitting in Red lobster.

    Super stressed. Look towards back end of Restaurant that's empty. Then proceed to hear demonic wails and screams while everyone around me continues to eat un-phased.
    Autumnbug Autumnbug 18-21 2 Responses Sep 12, 2015

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    So at the age 20 I was diagnosed with

    schizoaffective disorder. I have been diagnosed with a chemical imbalance since the age of seven as they did not want to label a seven year old schizophrenic. I used to throw huge fights kick hit punch then when I was calm my mum would ask why I would respond she told me too .at...
    justwanabe justwanabe 22-25, F Apr 5, 2014

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    I'm very lonely and need someone to talk to.

    If anyone is out there, please let me know.
    InvaderNice InvaderNice 18-21, M 4 Responses Oct 1, 2015

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    This Is The Soundtrack Of My Life Living With

    Schizoaffective Disorder Every song I post is an excellent representation of what I went through living with Schizoaffective disorder from the very first voice to my mania to the hardships I've endured. What brought me to the faith in God who was the only one who was ever on my...
    SealedWithAKisss SealedWithAKisss 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 16, 2014

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    iwas diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder,

    although i dont think i actualy have that.im going to therapy and i think it s helping. tomorrow is my first day of work i havent worked in a year.i think i might be able to keep this job,im going to give it my all. my therapys wants me take take my meds but im not mentally ill...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 17, 2014

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    I dont know what to say to be honest.

    I have never been much of a conversationalist unless i'm in a really good mood. Ive been through some hectic psychotic episodes that lasted for long periods of time. Ive been well for a good while now but only recently have i actually experienced what its like to be happy even...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 19, 2014

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    I was going to wait for a bit to come out with

    this, normally because people tend to judge when it comes to psychological disorders, especially unknown ones. I was diagnosed at 17, I had an exceptionally hard time dealing with the fact that I was probably going to have to deal with my demons for the rest of my life. My...
    Dereth Dereth 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 1

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    Hi I am Cindy I have schizoeffective bipolar

    type and I'm suffering a lot I feel high to low and see a boy I am very in love with I was at a mental hospital recently and it was horrible I just wish I could die sometimes. Everyone I know ignores me they just think I'm fine which is probably my fault for keeping my feelings...
    amicrazyornot amicrazyornot 13-15, F Jun 25, 2015

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    A Lifetime Of Confusion

    When I was 8 years old, my parents divorced and I never felt truly happy ever again. Then when I was 10, both parents met new partners. I was living with my Dad, who told me on the Friday that he was getting married. I was overjoyed. Not only would I get a new step-brother, I...
    Gledwood Gledwood 36-40, M 4 Responses Jun 3, 2011

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    This Is The Soundtrack Of My Life Living With Schizoaffective Disorder

    Every song I post is an excellent representation of what I went through living with Schizoaffective disorder from the very first voice to my mania to the hardships I've endured. What brought me to the faith in God who was the only one who was ever on my side which led me to peace...
    SealedWithAKisss SealedWithAKisss 31-35, F 4 Responses Nov 15, 2013

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    I Am Living With Schizoaffective Disorder And I'M Beating It........

    I have been sick most all of my life. I'm forty years old now. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder first in 1999, and I was suffering from Chronic Post Tramatic Stress Disorder at that time but was not diagnosed for that until 2008. In 2003 the doctors added Schizoaffective...
    freedompride freedompride 36-40 3 Responses May 16, 2013

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    The voices told me that I can not die

    and will be here until the end of the world. Tried to kill myself a few times, should I take this as they are right? I'm scared now more than ever could it be true?
    LissMiss2 LissMiss2 31-35, F 3 Responses Sep 25, 2015

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    Climbing Up From Rock Bottom

    I began having mental health issues (mainly depression and an eating disorder) when I was fourteen but I was not diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder until I was 19.  It was at 19 that I began to experience severe paranoia.  Shortly after that the voices...
    CloserToFine CloserToFine 22-25, F 6 Responses Jul 19, 2008

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    I have no idea what that is,

    please educate me
    xXShellyBeanXx xXShellyBeanXx 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 12, 2015

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    Hi, I have Schizoaffective Disorder,

    and I feel like I have split personalities, one is the Schizoaffective part of me, the one who talks about angels and demons, light and darkness and the world, and who has a very difficult time getting out of bed, and suffers from anxiety and heart problems, then there is the...
    SealedWithAKisss SealedWithAKisss 31-35, F 7 Responses Apr 30, 2015

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    Personally I think that I'm the only one on

    this planet with my disorder, but the docs just have to classify it as something. I cannot function with people and my face always feels numb but it's not of a physical cause.
    BBuff BBuff 46-50, M Nov 6, 2015

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    Dare I say that I found healing from my

    schizoaffective disorder when I lost my family doctor......Truth be told I would have probably still found healing if he would have stayed but stopped being such a jerk. I was already almost there, I was hearing angels singing, especially when I warmed up to the idea of liking...
    cutiepitunia cutiepitunia 70+ Jan 6

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    Gifted Yet Difficult

    I was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was 19 but something changed in 2005 it was then when my darkness turned to light my diagnoses changed from schizophrenia to schizoaffective disorder. You see I am a Christian, I have been redeemed back in 2000 after I had sold my soul by...
    SealedWithAKisss SealedWithAKisss 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 25, 2012

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    How can I possibly be good enough

    for other people. "normal" people. With the inescapable reality of this all.. Im surprised I make it out of bed most days.
    4floyd 4floyd 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 27, 2015

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    I see and hear people

    who aren't there. My family, close friends, demons, and my kidnapper/rapist. Some are comforting, some are not. I'm just relieved to see I'm not the only one. I've seen and heard people my whole life.
    swiftasacoursingriver swiftasacoursingriver 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2015

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    How has being schizoaffective affected your

    relationships? positively or negatively
    everyonecallsmephoenix everyonecallsmephoenix 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 24, 2015

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    Does This Seem A Psychotic Episode?

    hello to everyone on this site. I have struggled with my mental health for over a year now and my diagnosis has changed from ;"first episode psychosis" to simply "severe anxiety" to "the most severe anxiety you have ever seen" to psydo psychosis to "over active imagination" to...
    alicefg alicefg 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 22, 2013

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    I have tasted and seen the revelation of the

    gospel unfold in my life, words written in the pages of the bible, come to life constructed by evil men and women, who exploited a mentally ill woman as a saint, and then hunted her down with a paranoid schizophrenic who voiced what her demons uttered about my past thus...
    cutiepitunia cutiepitunia 70+ 1 Response Jan 14

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    So, does anyone have a mental volume?

    Like, do your thoughts get loud or really quiet? I've tried explaining it to people and no one understands
    everyonecallsmephoenix everyonecallsmephoenix 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 18, 2015

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    I was just recently diagnosed with the disorder.

    I hear voices that tell me I am both good and evil at times for trying to kill myself. i also see hallucinations of Angels and demons in my mind. It's very hard to decide whether the negative thinking makes me a good or bad person when I am constantly listening to the battle. My...
    LissMiss2 LissMiss2 31-35, F 4 Responses Sep 7, 2015

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    I don't really have much to share,

    the only reason I've made it this far in life is because I'm a grade A narcissist, but like this weird self-loathing narcissist that hates me and is envious of everyone else. I lie so much to cover up my disorder issues from friends and acquaintances that when I try being honest...
    YOURauntJemima YOURauntJemima 22-25, M 1 Response Oct 5, 2015

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    I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder

    in April of 2012 but I'm starting to think I was diagnosed wrong. I have the symptoms of Schizoaffective disorder but I also have a very hard time taking care of myself and my house. I always have to be reminded to bathe and other personal hygiene activities or clean my room or...
    ParanoidGirl ParanoidGirl 26-30 3 Responses Dec 15, 2015

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    I Always Knew I Was Different.

    My life is in chaos as we speak. I do have schizoaffective disorder but I am on meds and they do help. My problem besides my disorder that turns me in to a lonely weirdo is that my dear mother who always took care of me in despite of being a single mom has stage four breast...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Oct 19, 2013

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    This Is The Soundtrack Of My Life Living With

    Schizoaffective Disorder Every song I post is an excellent representation of what I went through living with Schizoaffective disorder from the very first voice to my mania to the hardships I've endured. What brought me to the faith in God who was the only one who was ever on my...
    SealedWithAKisss SealedWithAKisss 31-35, F 10 Responses Mar 24, 2014

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