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I Have Such Sick Humor But Find This Hilarious

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 50 People

    Midget World Record!

    (IMPORTANT NOTE! .....Let's say that the person you tell this joke to is named John smith.) Three midgets decided they each wanted to beat a world record. The first midget wanted to have the world record for worlds smallest hands. The second midget wanted the world record for...
    carlee1212 carlee1212 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 7, 2012

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    Shortest Lists

    What are the shortest Lists in the world?Black Olympic swimmersJewish athletesIrish **** starsFrench war heros
    Stevenomurph Stevenomurph 36-40, M Jul 8, 2013

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    Just Desserts

    I had a friend who went to the doctor with a strawberry stuck uyp his bum.  When he told the doctor he was quite surprised and said he had some cream for that.................
    GemmaRavenBird GemmaRavenBird 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 25, 2010

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    Another Joke....

    Whats the difference between the starship enterprise and a piece of toilet tissue?  Nothing, because they both circe around uranus looking for clingons.....
    GemmaRavenBird GemmaRavenBird 41-45, F 4 Responses Apr 22, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    Life has changed because of my wife's illness. I've become more caretaker than husband. Love my wife dearly, but I am losing myself in this life. Always takin care, and never being...
    NPJacob NPJacob 41-45, M 7 Responses Jan 12

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    I never thought our family would be faced with this. Worst of all I am mad at myself for being so resentful. I hate the fact he is sick. I hate the loneliness that comes with it...
    Jewel1201 Jewel1201 31-35, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I respect the sanctity of marriage. honor the vows and the ever after.It never occurred to me that my marriage will go to the drain. We had great sex. I thought it was the core of...
    4BlackForest 4BlackForest 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 14

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    I am tataking this breathing treatment twice a day for the past fore days. it seems to be helping but it would be nice to get rid of this cough
    bw32 bw32 31-35, M Jan 15

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    I don't know how to tell a friend that I care so much about how he is feeling and can find the words to say it. I that I can find the words to say is that you're never alone I will...
    Frozenfireflies Frozenfireflies 13-15, M Jan 6

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    He's 32 and I'm 23, I'm not perfect. He's not perfect. But we're perfect together. And that's all that matters.
    persayous persayous 22-25, F Jan 18

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    I don't know who you are. All that I know, is what you let me know. However, I do see glimpses every now and then, of the person behind the words. And the people I do see are truly...
    themanoflegends themanoflegends 22-25, M Jan 13

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    I met this kid on an online game and he told me how he was feeling depressed and suicidal. I tried consulting him that he shouldnt do it and gave him advice etc. I said that you...
    HeyHer1234 HeyHer1234 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 9

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    We started chatting it was a instant attraction .I haven't felt for years. We are from different sides of the world but your words are so meaning. I thought romance was dead, not...
    dreamingisgood dreamingisgood 41-45, F Dec 27, 2014

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    Hahahahaha this is so random but yes I have an innie lol
    Alexlovesmusic Alexlovesmusic 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 30, 2014

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    Hello and happy New Years Dr Nipplepull here I see here in my records that most of you girls haven't been in for your annual You may not realize this but the bellybutton is a ver...
    wolffive wolffive 51-55, M Dec 31, 2014

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    i always have to turn my phone on and off until it feels right, same thing with my ds. i plug and unplug devices, and i check things over and over again.. but i havent been...
    gemmed gemmed 13-15, F Jan 1

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    Hi guys loads of you keep asking me about my swirl lots want to know about it literally im not offended at all so if u have any questions feel free to ask me
    selenam selenam 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    I just recently discovered why it occasionally hurts to pop my belly button to an outie. I've tried tying it out and had it turn colors sometimes. Apparently I have a short navel...
    twiztidlette13420 twiztidlette13420 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 3

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    Problems are problems and you have to deal with them eventually. The kindness of strangers has helped me get through some tough times in the past. So I seek to follow their example...
    SleeplessSage SleeplessSage 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 8

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    I have ocd tendencies, but alot of price around me say I'm pretty much full blown there.
    jenneruz jenneruz 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 12

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    I happened upon this site by accident. Actually, I don't believe in accidents. I'm usually so turned off from these forums due to trolls. However, I've been pleasantly...
    mostdaysaregood mostdaysaregood 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 13

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    I have been cuffed and spanked and now self cuff and self spank. Any questions? Ask away!!!
    canadarm canadarm 61-65, M 1 day ago

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    I think the female bellybutton is sexy Lots of times if I see a woman in a bikini her bellybutton is the first thing I notice ... Ok if her hi beams are on I see that first ... Ok...
    wolffive wolffive 51-55, M 2 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    Not you.....The house is the usual disaster , no career, no real funds of her own, no bonus or salary too help hubby Sucks his divk so he shuts up Thats all we see here
    iamsohappy4me iamsohappy4me 51-55, F Jan 5

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    i will always care, you are one of the best Lyndie
    sharichi sharichi 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 6

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    tell me if you like my navel :)
    neeeshb neeeshb 18-21, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    really, I have such a passion to find, connect, and live happily ever after with my soul mate.
    Literally3872 Literally3872 36-40 Jan 5

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    "What does a dead baby look like after three minutes in the microwave?" "I don't know, I close my eyes when I **********." Is it wrong that I find such horrible jokes to be...
    Jaimee1212 Jaimee1212 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 15

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    A few simple of experiences of why I have cried in school: Kindergarten: I called a boy in my class stupid, then later when I saw a police car park in front of the school I started...
    SparkleSwirl SparkleSwirl 18-21, F 17 hrs ago

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    I have a sarcastic sense of humor and find not everyone gets it or understands it. I have accidentally upset people with my sense of humor. Has anyone else done that before?
    Violaplayer84 Violaplayer84 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 15

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    To shorten the story, I have an ex fiance from 2004. My father died and he walked away due to my father's death. You know why as good as I do. I ended up having an emotional...
    DarkwingGoslyn DarkwingGoslyn 31-35 a week ago

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    I have been suffering from depression for about 2 years. Only 3 of my friends even know I am depressed, and only one knows the extent of it. I act happy, bubbly, cheery, excited...
    SadFacedDork SadFacedDork 18-21, F Dec 29, 2014

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    It's never happened to me before, but talking to a friend here on EP has made me realise that in fact, it is happening to me. I have a crush on someone I never should have feelings...
    ForeverIsOver ForeverIsOver 16-17, F 5 Responses Jan 4

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    I was watching a documentary on domestic violence a week ago. They spoke of abuser traits and it dawned on me how much my dad fits that profile. He has always been so hard to deal...
    JasmineRoses JasmineRoses 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 27, 2014

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    Do you ever just have those moments, where you make such monumentally huge mistakes that you know will hurt loads of people? Yeah? As I sit back and think about my life so far, I...
    BeccaLouise40 BeccaLouise40 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 14

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    I actually don't take my beliefs that seriously but I don't feel bad if someone feels offended by my jokes. Sometimes it's black humor and yeah, a bit more straightforward than...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 14

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    It's been over a year I think since I've posted anything on here. I feel bad about it, since I said I would post a lot sooner. There's been a lot of personal issues in my life, but...
    Kinakierra Kinakierra 18-21 1 Response Dec 26, 2014

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    So i was in the hospital like a week or so ago. They told me i might have gastritis h. pylori. I am frustrated... i'll be going to a specialist soon but i just hate how everything...
    eflor14 eflor14 16-17, F Jan 9

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    So today in my government class we watched a video about a group of Muslims in Georgia who wanted to build a mosque, and the negative reactions from the rest of the community...
    BroadwayDreamer16 BroadwayDreamer16 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 12

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    Or rather I had, now I have pectus bars. But here is my story and experience with it.. Some might call it silly. There are not that many physical effects of having it, I even...
    mirkwood86 mirkwood86 26-30, M Jan 17

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    I feel as if my mum hates me. She always attacks me for being just like my father and brings me down because of it. I am currently having relationship problems and I feel as if...
    SecretAbby SecretAbby 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Alright so I can not sleep tonight and decided tonight would be a good night to research something funny my sister mentioned to me. She was doing some research because both her and...
    Welllaugh Welllaugh 36-40, F 4 Responses Jan 4

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    I used to be someone who contributed to society, someone who used to matter. I made a difference in peoples lives, I saved lives, I changed lives. I was a nursing supervisor, well...
    xxLionessxx xxLionessxx 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 6

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    Hi All, I'm new to EP and have spent the past couple of days reading posts on the topic "I have found my Twin Flame". I found this site by accident but was also looking to...
    SpiritualScientist SpiritualScientist 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 9

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    It started when I was really little. I got slapped by some kid in my ears at school when I was 10. Didn't think anything of it. we laater became friends but as I got older the...
    pixelcravings pixelcravings 26-30 1 Response Jan 9

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    Why must it be so? (rhetorical question used to express my emotion) Everything eventually comes to an end, no matter if it is good, bad, or somewhere in the shifting uncertain...
    andrewphysics andrewphysics 18-21, M Dec 26, 2014