I Have Such Sick Humor But Find This Hilarious

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 46 People

    Shortest Lists

    What are the shortest Lists in the world?Black Olympic swimmersJewish athletesIrish **** starsFrench war heros
    Stevenomurph Stevenomurph
    36-40, M
    Jul 8, 2013

    Another Joke....

    Whats the difference between the starship enterprise and a piece of toilet tissue?  Nothing, because they both circe around uranus looking for clingons.....
    GemmaRavenBird GemmaRavenBird
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Apr 22, 2010

    Just Desserts

    I had a friend who went to the doctor with a strawberry stuck uyp his bum.  When he told the doctor he was quite surprised and said he had some cream for that.................
    GemmaRavenBird GemmaRavenBird
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Apr 25, 2010

    Midget World Record!

    (IMPORTANT NOTE! .....Let's say that the person you tell this joke to is named John smith.) Three midgets decided they each wanted to beat a world record. The first midget wanted to have the world record for worlds smallest hands. The second midget wanted the world record for...
    carlee1212 carlee1212
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Nov 7, 2012

    Related Experiences

    This is something so painful that only people experiencing this will truly understand ... I'm from Australia , Sydney in particular I've known this guy since 15 mind you we fell...
    Lydiaaellise Lydiaaellise
    18-21, F
    Apr 21
    Last Ep update ever! It's been hilarious at times! Anyone with kick keep in touch? Username= Kevcarro, farewell!
    Carrom22 Carrom22
    22-25, M
    Apr 21
    Still Getting Add Requests I am still adding people if they request it and we have things in common, but with EP closing you better talk fast. Soon it will be Poof and I am gone.
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Apr 20
    This is my experience on being prescribed ADHD medication for the past year and a half. TL;DR: I technically don't have ADD or ADHD but was prescribed anyways. I got addicted. I...
    Lidarrel Lidarrel
    18-21, M
    Apr 20
    I don't really have anything to say but I feel the need to post something because EP is about to shut down ...so yea ........have a nice day
    Eric2745 Eric2745
    16-17, M
    Apr 20
    My mom her birthday was used to be on wednesday next week... She died when i was 2 from lung cancer 😭 i have never known her but i still miss her everyday more
    xcutexgirlx xcutexgirlx
    13-15, F
    1 Response Apr 20
    Hi, I kinda need to say what I keep keeping to myself, and here is the only place I could think of to express all this. So yeah, I know that I don't eat like everybody, I'm...
    BleedingPanda BleedingPanda
    22-25, M
    Apr 20
    I’m posting this hoping for feedback from a third party. I’ve been told by friends that my boyfriend is abusing me emotionally. - He only supports what I do if he likes it...
    LoreleiLoch LoreleiLoch
    18-21, F
    Apr 19
    I don't know if you can see or hear me I don't even know if you exist but I need you now more then ever. I may not even be worthy to speak to you but I have a prayer for you. I am...
    SladeBolinLeaderofEp SladeBolinLeaderofEp
    18-21, M
    Apr 19
    This is gonna be a pretty long rant, sorry. You have been warned though. I'm 22, about to turn 23 in a couple of months, and I feel like I'm completely lost. I'm living with my...
    cyberwhat cyberwhat
    22-25, M
    1 Response Apr 18
      I'm a Hepatitis B carrier from India. I have been looking for an online support group for HBV carriers in India but haven't been able to find one. So, recently I along with...
    themake1234 themake1234
    26-30, M
    Apr 17
    So I googled the meaning of my name a while back. I was curious. Then, to find out it's in the Urban Dictionary as well. I was dumb struck by it's meaning at first and soon after...
    Lee124 Lee124
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Apr 17
    friends with benefits is just their way of saying I'd have sex with you but you're not important enough to be anything else.
    CallmeHopelessNotRomantic CallmeHopelessNotRomantic
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Apr 17
    I am 19 now, almost 20... I haven't been on here for a few years, but I think I'll give it a go. My parents and I thought I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 4 years before...
    Invisibleninja12 Invisibleninja12
    18-21, F
    Apr 17
    Yes! This is very true. I'd talk to lots of people already and it's the worst ever when they are like the stuck up strict soldier guard whatever. (I don't have anything against...
    soyyoprincesa soyyoprincesa
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Apr 17
    I do but find it boring and frustrating,can't see who is on when and how,much prefer chatting on skype/yahoo and gmail.
    waxfoot1 waxfoot1
    46-50, M
    Apr 17
    I want a relationship, but whenever I talk to a girl that feeling goes away. maybe its because I'm used to being alone. I never had a relationship, even in high school...I was just...
    Grim950 Grim950
    18-21, M
    Apr 16
    I feel terrible. My stomach hurts like hell. I made my own breakfast & I guess it was a bad idea to have last nights bread & butter. My stomach is growlin a lot & more than usual...
    SuchHorribleThings SuchHorribleThings
    16-17, F
    1 Response Apr 16
    i find it just totaly disgusting how people never give others a chance so what if their trying to better themselves ? its been 6 months im trying t ofind a job with no successs i...
    MyraTomPhil MyraTomPhil
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 16
    I think laughing is one of the great joys of my life. It has helped me through many a rough situation . If u had been unable to find some humor in the situation I might have...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 15
    Stephen King actually wrote a book about writing, called "On Writing." I am certainly no Stephen King so I will limit my comments to my own personal experience. I have written...
    lasergraph lasergraph
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Apr 15
    My last day on this site will be next Tuesday...... I haven't been able to find love....:( I did meet some really nice people..... But didn't find love.....or love didn't find me...
    lookingforlove2067 lookingforlove2067
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Apr 15
    I love phone conversations with ep friends. Doesnt have to be sexual but that is fun too. Message me for my number
    badbillisbackagain badbillisbackagain
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 15
    My Dad is very emotionally abusive. Wrecks me with guilt every time I see him, which isn't often. And when I can't make it to one of our dinner one night, if my mom takes the car...
    cecame cecame
    16-17, F
    Apr 14
    I have a lot I should be doing, but I'm mentally unable to motivate myself. I've lost all hope and all motivation in life. Heck I should be doing a job and taking care of myself...
    lonelylifeindia lonelylifeindia
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Apr 14
    I took medical checkup last January. The report said mostly I'm in good health, unless my cholesterol level was a bit high. I was concern about my health since last 10 years. I...
    Letibeme Letibeme
    31-35, F
    1 Response Apr 14
    I want to get this off my chest. After months of trying to figure out what the right words are, to describe this connection I have/want with him, I think I finally got it. I don't...
    Hipstercatlover Hipstercatlover
    16-17, F
    1 Response Apr 13
    For those that have been betrayed, I want to leave stories in the archives that they might find helpful should they stumble across this site. Is your spouse's cheating your fault...
    kpitup kpitup
    56-60, F
    1 Response Apr 13
    For those that have been betrayed, I want to leave stories in the archives that they might find helpful should they stumble across this site. Is your spouse's cheating your fault...
    kpitup kpitup
    56-60, F
    Apr 13
    How do you other women handle periods? Fibro has made me very sick and wiped out basically every day but during and right before my period I become much sicker and far more...
    fallenstar23 fallenstar23
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 13
    Missing you so much! You know who you are! Couple of days more to go. Arrggh.
    UnveiledWife UnveiledWife
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 13
    My mother told me I was a serious child. I was looking at my kindergarten photos and I have this serious look upon my face in every picture that was taken each year for three...
    helmsdeep helmsdeep
    31-35, F
    Apr 13
    So I see people are trying to post more experiences and let more things off their chest and telling their stories before EP closes. So I decided, hey, I might as well join the...
    jaeger053 jaeger053
    16-17
    1 Response Apr 12
    Wow. This weekend was somethin' else, I'll give you that. So. My step mom was in California on Friday and Saturday. When she's gone, my dad and I actually talk and we get along...
    IntenseCookie IntenseCookie
    18-21, F
    9 Responses Apr 12
    Why do I always go through this. You know when you really care about someone and they mean everything to you. Those people who impact your life unexpectedly. I fell in love with...
    Thelostsoulslasthope Thelostsoulslasthope
    13-15, F
    Apr 12
    I haven't gotten tested, but I have the genital warts symptom and I am really terrified. I know I was doing wrong, but I feel like my life is ruined. The ones who told their...
    DianaC51 DianaC51
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 11
    So has anyone found a good forum to migrate to after EP closes? One that is fairly open minded and easy going and easy to use and welcoming and busy and such? I know about...
    JoannaBe JoannaBe
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Apr 11
    I want to say. This is a really dumb group. And those who know me very well...I don't really get upset at very many things. This is a rare exception. Get turned on or attracted...
    drooniedat drooniedat
    41-45, M
    Apr 11
    The former head of Britain’s Equalities and Human Rights Commission (EHRC), Trevor Phillips, has admitted he “got almost everything wrong” regarding immigration in a new...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 11
    So I myself have Epilepsy and a family history of autism.. I don't want to call it responsible breeding, but logic suggests I shouldn't procreate.. Truthfully someday I want to...
    KindaPyro KindaPyro
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Apr 11
    i am raging with anxiety right now. It's more like a catastrophic anxiety wherein my mind always leads different happenings to catastrophe. O feel really helpless. I have felt this...
    thebloodyshank thebloodyshank
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Apr 11
    People should really stop saying they have OCD, when they may not. Believe me, i've lived with someone who has it and I know what I'm saying exactly. OCD is not always wanting...
    Annaxx11 Annaxx11
    18-21, F
    Apr 11
    I found out 2 weeks ago I have hepatitis B. I am currently sick. Have bouts of diahrrea, nausea, itching, and recently started experiencing neuropathy in my feet, exhausted all...
    pwarner44 pwarner44
    56-60, F
    Apr 11
    Sore throat stuffy noes coughing my lungs out trying stay alive I hate begging sick I never use to get sick so much what the bleep man
    LucidxxShivery LucidxxShivery
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 10
    Hi, I'm a 9th grader who needs help with a school project. Could anyone here who has experienced sickle cell please help me with a few questions? I'd really appreciate it a lot. 1...
    pleasehelpme73 pleasehelpme73
    41-45, M
    Apr 10
    I suppose this is where I can speak freely, not revealing my identity. Honestly, writing about my life, a stupid, sob story, I feel skeptical about it. Not knowing if anyone cares...
    Aselfconsciousturtle Aselfconsciousturtle
    13-15, F
    Apr 10
    its soo hilarious for me when I have to repeat my self or explain to people what certain phrases mean when I talk to foreign people they get shocked and always say hey your an...
    Haze94 Haze94
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 10
    (I refer this to Christians going through TRIALS or/and TEMPTATIONS, lest a fellow wishes to wrongly counter the write-up) Dear Christians and whomever this may concern, God...
    Lincoln98 Lincoln98
    16-17, M
    Apr 10
    (I refer this to Christians going through TRIALS or/and TEMPTATIONS, lest a fellow wishes to wrongly counter the write-up)  Dear Christians and whomever this may concern, God...
    Lincoln98 Lincoln98
    16-17, M
    Apr 10
    Star sweet star, How distant you are. But just as I reach for you, I see that your light has already managed to find me. How long has your light traveled to get this far? What...
    CopperCoil CopperCoil
    36-40, M
    5 Responses Apr 9
    I think , those with low self esteem , anxiety , panic attacks - self worth issues - the problem for them , mostly is caused by not being accepted or treated by society/ people...
    Stephenrko Stephenrko
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 9
    My best friend told me that she hates when I don't listen to her. she said something else too but I really wasn't paying attention.
    PlanetT PlanetT
    22-25, F
    Apr 9
    He has never left my side. I count my blessings for his friendship. I met him here, When I first found EP... Those first few months were crazy It was a whole new world! He held...
    CruisingAlone CruisingAlone
    36-40
    1 Response Apr 9
    Have a great day everyone, enjoy the moment and love those near you!
    Elsi3 Elsi3
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Apr 9
    I never make mistakes…I thought I did once; but I was wrong.
    SonofPaddy121 SonofPaddy121
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 8
    I would erase all the stupid things people have said to me over the years. Things that made me wonder what their intentions were. Once, after I was physically attacked by a family...
    PickoftheLitter PickoftheLitter
    46-50, F
    1 Response Apr 8
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