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I Have Such Sick Humor But Find This Hilarious

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 49 People

    Midget World Record!

    (IMPORTANT NOTE! .....Let's say that the person you tell this joke to is named John smith.) Three midgets decided they each wanted to beat a world record. The first midget wanted to have the world record for worlds smallest hands. The second midget wanted the world record for...
    carlee1212 carlee1212 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 7, 2012

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    Shortest Lists

    What are the shortest Lists in the world?Black Olympic swimmersJewish athletesIrish **** starsFrench war heros
    Stevenomurph Stevenomurph 36-40, M Jul 8, 2013

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    Just Desserts

    I had a friend who went to the doctor with a strawberry stuck uyp his bum.  When he told the doctor he was quite surprised and said he had some cream for that.................
    GemmaRavenBird GemmaRavenBird 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 25, 2010

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    Another Joke....

    Whats the difference between the starship enterprise and a piece of toilet tissue?  Nothing, because they both circe around uranus looking for clingons.....
    GemmaRavenBird GemmaRavenBird 41-45, F 4 Responses Apr 22, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    wondering if we're really lucky to have such look of our belly buttons ! we can turn it outie or innie whenever we need too ,,, also it's the nicest look of all belly buttons ever...
    OmarHady OmarHady 22-25 Apr 14

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    I have wonderful friends and neighbours who accept me for who I am and my life style I choose to live . I never need worry about people complaining about my nudity . I love them...
    nakednudist nakednudist 46-50, M 1 Response Apr 6

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    Many friends. But some i breathe for.
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Mar 25

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    I know that life is not easy for anybody. But sometimes I wonder how am I so ok, when I know people have experienced similar traumas and have broken and can no longer function in...
    salcla salcla 26-30, F Mar 28

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    I passed my driving test when I was 18 and I drove for about 8 years but I wasn't confident enough to drive different places. I was only driving places that I could walk to or get...
    LinkinParkMuse LinkinParkMuse 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 28

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    I don't have to meet someone face to face to care for, protect & worry about them. I'll take anyone's secrets to my grave. I'm loyal. I'm not judgemental. I'm open minded. If...
    nightowl2015 nightowl2015 26-30, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Just a reminder if you've had a bad day I'm here and love you no matter who you are. Take care of yourself, listen to music or make tea, curl up and watch a show, anything that...
    yeshomo yeshomo 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 28

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    I love it when I lift up my shirt, and look at my bellybutton or play with it, and people notice it. One day I was at the mall with my friend, and we were sitting at the benches, I...
    bellybuttonbeauty bellybuttonbeauty 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 29

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    Ha I can't even see mine now so who cares I love getting fat feels so great
    Chubbyhubby230 Chubbyhubby230 31-35, M Apr 10

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    The Existence of Negative Entities Growing up as a child, my grandmother lived far away from where we used to live. She would visit each one of her children, one year at a time...
    PastPilot PastPilot 51-55, M 1 day ago

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    You're so concerned that I can feel your concern and it concerns me. You're too concerned. I don't want to be that way, but I know I am. I want to be a calm voice of reason, but I...
    lovelywarpedlemon lovelywarpedlemon 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    I have such a long story sorry, but I am really struggling with this. I have always had a ridiculous fear of viruses and germs, and was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I met...
    Sadkitten8 Sadkitten8 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 2

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    Lately I've had so many damn episodes of this still mystery illness that I have. I don't know what it is or why. I feel as though life is passing me by at this point. So much so...
    pizzaboy213 pizzaboy213 18-21, M Apr 1

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    I am a child of divorced parents. I'm new here, clicked on something about bullying and ended up being about divorce with an angry mob saying "dump him! dump him!" I have a...
    railhead74 railhead74 36-40, M 1 Response Apr 15

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    OMG another night with little sleep. I have such horrible anxiety that I cannot hardly function any longer. They throw medicine at me, but the side effects are almost as bad as the...
    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I hope you like watching it , normally Germans may have strange sense of humor , but this women is weird funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okFWkvbRMkc&list...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 1 Response Apr 11

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    I have an IQ of 149. Not as high as some of the people on here, but still higher than most 17 year old females that I know. I have such vivid thoughts. I can't explain it. I think...
    brriittttaannyy brriittttaannyy 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 15

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    Why do people think I am mean? In reality I am kind and I find myself rarely saying no to most things. I guess it's because of my vulgar sense of humor, but I wish people didn't...
    ajgamer ajgamer 13-15, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Read This JabroniWassup fellas. Ladies and gentlemen.I got a few things to say but as usual, I really don't know where to start..So I'll just get right into it and let the words...
    JudgementDayIsNigh JudgementDayIsNigh 22-25 Apr 1

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    This would be the fifth time I have gotten sick in the month of March. I get sick and feel awful for 3-4 days and then it goes away but it always comes back and I'm just tired of...
    Jusjellybean Jusjellybean 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 31

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    No I really don't. Listen I think personally unless you've known them for a month talked to them all the time you don't know them enough to have a crush. So I find it very off...
    KateTheStraightedge KateTheStraightedge 16-17, F Mar 25

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    I know I'm not healthy, but no one seems to believe me! I've had a bunch of different symptoms all my life that have gotten worse over the last three years. I've had blood tests...
    Mystery03 Mystery03 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 3

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    this is a sister post to my last one under here. please be warned, it Will be graphic, and it may trigger people... hopefully this one won't take an hour to write. Alright, for...
    Redmoon383 Redmoon383 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 9

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    This is true, sadly... I've lost so much weight over the past three years that I honestly feel a strong case of the gags when I think about, see, or smell certain foods. I used...
    OdiumIncantatum OdiumIncantatum 36-40, F 6 days ago

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    Tonight I got off work early at 9 PM and called my mom to pick me up. She didn't answer after calling 3 times, and I couldn't call my stepdad because he's away on a trip, so I just...
    babyllove21 babyllove21 18-21, F 7 Responses 5 days ago

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    I like the sound of wearing wetsuits and getting gunged. Have worn a wetsuit on water once and that was in the shower!! I have never been gunged but will be soon at my gfs house...
    Wetsuitgunger123 Wetsuitgunger123 41-45 4 days ago

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    Many of them are online....as in I have never even met them in person. I have a pretty strong connection with a couple of them, but nothing I would consider inappropriate. One is...
    TornSoul13 TornSoul13 36-40, M Mar 28

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    First of all, sorry for the length of this. So I had an appointment for my fibromyalgia. I've been told I have it but was getting some more tests ran. I've never seen this doctor...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 31

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    Hi there! I admit, I am such a fatty. But, there is no shame in my game. I am currently 328 lbs, at my heaviest I was 348. I've attempted dieting and losing weight, each time it...
    ArianeMariee12 ArianeMariee12 18-21, F 10 Responses 6 days ago

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    I'm so tired of being judged based on my stories and experiences. Like yeah, I have some experiences that may not be the ones I'm proud of, but I have them as my experiences...
    UNDecodable UNDecodable 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 25

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    So I just found out yesterday I have herpes. What a painful way to find out. I am in so much pain from this outbreak physically and mentally. I separated from my husband recently...
    chooky02 chooky02 31-35, F 5 Responses Apr 8

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    Emotional abuse... You always tell yourself when your young, "I will never let anyone treat me bad,"- "I will never be THAT girl." - "I will always stand up for what I believe in...
    URBeautiful88 URBeautiful88 18-21, F Apr 8

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    I have, and still do, but I will never do it, there's always something to look forward to. Surprises and curiosity are the reason why I'm still here, and I know that there are more...
    DoorMattress DoorMattress 13-15, M 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    So calling Richard Richie is ok but saying a homosexual is a homo is not ? Calling a transsexual as such is ok but calling them a tranny is not , will I soon be pulled up for...
    missreeedy missreeedy 31-35, F 7 Responses Mar 27

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    I currently have three tattoos but have such a yearning to get more. I want a full sleeve of flowers on one arm and a half sleeve on the other of old school style things that have...
    Happinessismine Happinessismine 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 26

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    I'm so glad I have such wonderful family and friends so they can give me farm saga invites every hour, thanks guys!!!
    jbm1984 jbm1984 31-35, F Mar 27

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