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I Have Such Sick Humor But Find This Hilarious

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 50 People

    Another Joke....

    Whats the difference between the starship enterprise and a piece of toilet tissue?  Nothing, because they both circe around uranus looking for clingons.....
    GemmaRavenBird GemmaRavenBird 41-45, F 4 Responses Apr 22, 2010

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    Shortest Lists

    What are the shortest Lists in the world?Black Olympic swimmersJewish athletesIrish **** starsFrench war heros
    Stevenomurph Stevenomurph 36-40, M Jul 8, 2013

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    Just Desserts

    I had a friend who went to the doctor with a strawberry stuck uyp his bum.  When he told the doctor he was quite surprised and said he had some cream for that.................
    GemmaRavenBird GemmaRavenBird 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 25, 2010

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    Midget World Record!

    (IMPORTANT NOTE! .....Let's say that the person you tell this joke to is named John smith.) Three midgets decided they each wanted to beat a world record. The first midget wanted to have the world record for worlds smallest hands. The second midget wanted the world record for...
    carlee1212 carlee1212 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 7, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    My sense of humor seems to range from bizarre to downright terrifying. As odd as it sounds, I find pooping in odd locations (while skydiving, in a mud bath at a spa, while scaling...
    beatingdepression beatingdepression 22-25, M 1 day ago

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    I'm so broken up. My dad has had Multiple Sclerosis for over 10 years, but this last year has been worse than the previous 1 combined. He's my rock and my strength. I admire him...
    tamstar417 tamstar417 26-30, F Nov 17

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    well, was woke up tonight to son puking on the floor....ugh...i got a pan for him and he went in the bathroom while i scrubbed the floor and sprayed some disinfectant. i'll have to...
    turnpike1971 turnpike1971 41-45, M 1 Response Dec 7

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    I really don't want to seem rude, nor offending anyone, but lately I always fantasize about having sex with a Chinese woman. I never did, but I would like to a lot. So I love their...
    Gallot Gallot 36-40, M 5 days ago

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    sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me or if I'm just flat out choosing partners that are not going to make it to that point. I'm going to be 34 on next Sunday, and...
    FoxyNC FoxyNC 31-35, F 3 Responses Nov 25

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    I have always been interested in boys ever since I've been old enough to be interested in them but recently I have found myself being strangely attracted to other girls as well...
    hannahbanana2001 hannahbanana2001 13-15, F 4 Responses Dec 5

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    Several new things one is that I bought a Tshirt that is soo comfy only thing is if I stretch hello Outie but I guess that's ok I mean I'm not bothered by it
    selenam selenam 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 5

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    I wish I was born a cat lol cats have it easy :P
    SkateColorado SkateColorado 13-15, M 2 Responses Dec 9

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    As many people on here and work know I'm a no non sense person. Meaning i don't put up with bull. Ill call someone out when I feel I'm being wronged. But there's also this sweet...
    holehearted79 holehearted79 31-35, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    Ever since I have been old enough to be interested in boys...which is only a few years...I have been interested in boys and boys only. But I have met this black girl at school who...
    downbutnotout1 downbutnotout1 13-15, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    At least, I don't THINK I have OCD... (photo comment)
    secretme1970 secretme1970 41-45, F 3 days ago

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    LOL Today's funny. I just made your day!!! xD xD
    MFeisty MFeisty 41-45, F 8 Responses Dec 4

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    Careful were documenting nasty mouths against me also....green
    weekendabuse45 weekendabuse45 51-55, F Nov 18

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    For anyone who wanted to see my navel..
    CourtneyGordon CourtneyGordon 22-25, F 10 Responses Nov 19

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    Does anybody know how to make your navel deeper. If so plz contact me on EP. P.S. I do it by stuffing coins in it.
    supermedic3 supermedic3 13-15, M 2 Responses Nov 21

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    What do you think? Anyone want to play with it?
    Eric296 Eric296 22-25, M Dec 2

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    It's been awhile hasn't it ? Since you were able to breathe air Being in that dwelling cave for over 70 years must of been lonesome The thoughts eventually became pictures and the...
    Brandon15shawana Brandon15shawana 16-17, M Dec 8

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    I know right and then on top of that you are tested and then will be JUDGED too @@ beyond human comprehension !!!!
    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F 2 Responses Dec 9

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    I'm a alien baby lol ......
    basedteenager basedteenager 13-15, F Dec 9

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    I wanna be a ****** werewolf so badly
    lexinwonderland lexinwonderland 13-15, F a week ago

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    I Wanna Be A Tiger :D RAWR ! #TheRealKingsOfTheForest :/
    IWufflesDemi IWufflesDemi 13-15, F a week ago

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    sometimes, i wish i were water in a stream.. or a leaf falling from a tree.
    chaekowski chaekowski 26-30, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    all is one one is all, I am everything, nothing
    sharichi sharichi 22-25, M a week ago

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    I am tbh an booty frfr swag
    bigbootyswag69 bigbootyswag69 18-21, F a week ago

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    My best friend cheated me.i m jst got broken.i have such kind heart but still people treat me badly.:(
    innocentsickle innocentsickle 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 30

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    Well, I stumbled on this site because I was looking for info on TGA. I had an episode in July 2013 and in August the same year I realized I could no longer do my job as I needed to...
    talktomorrow talktomorrow 66-70, M Dec 5

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    I'm so tired of this... I'm so tired of wanting someone who I'll never have, tired of denying my own feelings, tired of not being able to tell any of my friends about this, tired...
    auntnichole auntnichole 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 19

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    This story is for him... I hope somehow one day you will read this, whether the universe helps you find this, I eventually tell you or anyway shape or form you see this... I hope...
    destiny00000 destiny00000 36-40 1 Response Nov 21

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    Why did it take me 33 years to realize this? Almost immediately after typing that question I feel doubt and shame not because I should have known years ago but because I feel I am...
    klaw25 klaw25 31-35, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Well I finished the series of Harry potter...rinse lather repeat? Wish I had the first two. I wish it was all bad. I wish I didn't have such good memories with him. The only bad...
    searchingfar searchingfar 22-25, F 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    Before I say anything, let me tell you that I am 13. I began having precognitive dreams only before big events in my life. Before I moved to MA, I had a dream of just a yellow...
    Chiko999 Chiko999 13-15, M Nov 17

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    November 21. Financial Fears. I sat in the car, looking at the sign on the door of the food shelf office: "Closed until Friday." It was Wednesday. I had two hungry children and...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 21

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    November 21. Financial Fears. I sat in the car, looking at the sign on the door of the food shelf office: "Closed until Friday." It was Wednesday. I had two hungry children and...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 21

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    most people thinks if you have a pretty face , you dont have a sense humor. thats like so pathetic ..
    PinkLipstick00 PinkLipstick00 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 23

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    I procrastinate until the very last minute, because I have such a high ego. I figure, I'll finish it in 30min (three page essay that I've had all week is due tomorrow) It's 11PM...
    PokeCotard PokeCotard 13-15, M Dec 5

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    I have posted this elsewhere but not gotten much response. I really need some input, so if anyone can relate, please respond or message me. Thanks! I do dissociate and have DID...
    dreshany dreshany 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 17

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    i think its ok to be single the reason we all go crazy is probably how we were raised and the exposure to new and many friends at one time growing up. we all get that feeling of...
    1thisguy33 1thisguy33 31-35, M Nov 19

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    I know, that's not supposed to be possible. People say it's not possible, that I'm deluding myself. I'm looking for a way out, I secretly hate her, we must have a sexless...
    roykirk roykirk 41-45, M 2 Responses Nov 23

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    What if Ive done everything you're suppose to to feel for filled and its not enough. Volunteering, a job working with elementary kids, college, good grades, being a kind, silly...
    jcbinns jcbinns 18-21, F Dec 5

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    I have been cooking for a little over 15 years or so professionally and Love every aspect about the Culinary World. One of my fondest memories about the culinary world was my...
    FatFur FatFur 26-30, M 1 Response Dec 6

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    Nov. 20, 2014 5:30pm I don't know what is wrong with me. I felt so happy when I got home. I felt so much love for mj and I was just on cloud nine. But I guess my flight reached...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Nov. 20, 2014 5:30pm I don't know what is wrong with me. I felt so happy when I got home. I felt so much love for mj and I was just on cloud nine. But I guess my flight reached...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 4 days ago